What Is Wisdom Valentine Day Special 2007

WHAT IS WISDOM??? “The moment a person realizes that reality has many faces, he/she takes the first step on the road to wisdom.”

Hopstaken’s Newsletter – the Valentine Day Special Edition February 14, 2007 A year ago our recipients received a ‘YourDictionary.com’ article about ‘Bundling Up for Valentine’s Day’. Clear evidence that the Dutch are no strangers to romance. Many positive reactions followed, just like they did after Jane’s article in What is Wisdom??? no. 6. Apparently, love is something that keeps many, if not most of us … busy? Alive? Creative? Inspired? Provided with a worthwhile purpose? You name it … Valentine Day is a day a. for lovers, b. for those who are in love but haven’t yet succeeded in making it ‘two way’, and c. for those who still hope to find the love of their life. So basically, it’s a day for everyone. It seems to be gaining more and more popularity, so let’s celebrate! 1. Hugs & Kisses: a delicate issue When you have lived in The Netherlands, or travelled in Europe (France, Belgium, Spain, Italy), you’ll have seen people hugging and kissing each other in public. The first time you witnessed this, you may have been shocked, or at least, somewhat embarrassed. Still, be honest: it did raise your interest. A real cultural difference! In many countries these expressions of love and affection – between lovers, but also, between close friends – are only allowed indoors, in the private area of a home. Unseen by the general public. In China, Turkey, Vietnam or Nepal, adolescents and grownups don’t kiss on the street, or in public places. Even hugging is being frowned upon. Parents with their little kids: that’s different. After a while, some of you assimilated this cultural difference, and took it back home. Only to be encountered with bewilderment, or worse: resistance. Others didn’t, and gladly re-accepted the characteristics of their traditional culture. No more embarrassing moments … Still, I’ll never forget the moment when the Chinese girl I least expected to do this, shy as she was, stepped forward on Graduation Day and gave me a hug I’ll never forget. And Peter? Well, as you know, he hugs everyone. Girls and boys alike. Compares their relative weight by lifting them in the air. Especially girls. I recall the evening when he tried to lift … no, that’s too embarrassing ☺. Some of you will remember … pictures survive. Hugging & kissing is part of daily life in the area of Holland Peter is from: Brabant. My grandfather is from the same area, but moved north, to Haarlem. In this part of The Netherlands people shake hands, and when they kiss, it used to be just one. In the past 35 years, I’ve seen the Brabant way of hugging & kissing everyone in sight take over my country. Still, I’m not as easy going in this as Peter. He says I’m learning …

Pictures survive …

Yes, culture can be very local, and is also a highly personal affair. I remember being confronted with different cultures when I was 20 years old. Traveling through southern European countries for the first time, and then on, through Turkey, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, India and Nepal. And back again along the same route. I’ve never been the same. I learned to accept cultural differences as a matter of fact, not opinion. Still, one’s own culture is not something you simply ‘shake off’. It is ‘embedded’ in your and my, in our personality. Don’t think hugging & kissing in public has been a common thing in Holland for long. It only started to become generally accepted during the so-called hippie-period: from 1968 on. Before, it was only on very special occasions, like May 5, 1945, when the Nazis finally left Holland and we were free again after five years of heavy suppression and war. And as I mentioned, in the area where Peter grew up. After 1968 it took many years to catch on. I’ll never forget the first time a guy hugged me in public … how embarrassing!!! This must have been around 1978. On Valentine’s Day lovers hug & kiss, like they do when it’s not Valentine’s Day, and most of the others dream about this, or plainly long for it. On Valentine’s Day we love, or hope for love. The French have a reputation for love, and its various ways of expressing itself. Last December I went to see the great Rodin exhibition in the London Royal Academy. For the first time in my life I saw his famous, life-size marble sculpture, The Kiss. I was deeply moved. Although you may disagree with me, this is not about sex, it’s about love, as in ‘making love’. Look at the pure tenderness, the full devotion. These lovers are 100% checked in … an act of love. If you still don’t get it, read Jane’s article in What is Wisdom??? No. 6. If you are then still in doubt, I can only wish that one magic day you’ll find your true love. And if you find it, make sure you keep it. Love is a rare article, as precious as the most precious diamond.

The Kiss, by Auguste Rodin (1881; detail)

2. The kiss ‘YourDictionary.com’ once more helps us to understand. This time we look at a universal phenomenon: the kiss. Osculate (Verb) Pronunciation: ['ah-skyê-leyt] Definition 1: To come together, to contact (as two osculating circles); to kiss. Usage 1: Today’s word is for those shy, affectionate people who are willing to talk about kissing in public but not so that other people understand. As you might expect, it comes from a large, happy family with several adjectives, such as osculable ‘kissable’ (such osculable lips), osculant ‘kissing’ (an osculant cousin?), and ‘osculatory’ (an osculatory couple in the shadows). There are two nouns, the expectable osculation ‘a kiss’ and an eccentric osculary ‘something to be kissed’, which might refer to an icon, a rosary, or anything else you find kissable. Suggested usage: We hope you find someone to whom today’s word applies in all its lexical splendor: someone you wish to come together with, to contact, and to kiss. Surprise your wife with, “Let’s osculate!” for a change of pace. Tell your husband that you are in the mood for a little osculation. It might be good for a giggle, and kissing and smiling go together like Valentine’s Day and hearts.

Etymology: In case you hadn’t guessed, today’s word comes from Latin, specifically the verb osculari ‘to kiss’, based on osculum ‘kiss’ (as osculum pacis ‘the kiss of peace’). Osculum is the diminutive of os ‘mouth’. We discussed this root recently in connection with the word ‘orotund’, noting that in Latin it changed to or- in most words, so that it is the same root underlying ‘oral’, ‘orifice’, and ‘orator’. (source: www.yourdictionary.com)

3. Wise quotes “In the light of love, every moment is a gift from God.” Deepak Chopra “A successful man is one who finds a woman who can appreciate his love. A successful woman is one who can love a man who loves her.” Anonymous “Never tell a great joke while making love.” (originator wishes to remain anonymous)

4. Valentine’s Lyrics: It’s in His Kiss! (Sung by Betty Everett, Cher … many others. Als known as the ‘Shoop Shoop Song’) + Theme For A Dream (Sung by Cliff Richard) These lyrics are so old … I mean, I heard them when I was a kid. Yet, for the true romantics among us (and be honest, who isn’t?) they are timeless in their innocence and classic in their message.

(Is it in his eyes?) Oh no! You need to see! (Is it in his size?) Oh no! You make believe! If you wanna know If he loves you so Its in his kiss! (That’s where it is!) (Oh yeah! Or is it in his face?) no girls! It’s just his charms! (In his warm embrace?) no girls! That's just his arms! If you wanna know If he loves you so It’s in his kiss! (That’s where it is!) yeah!! Its in his kiss! (That’s where it is!) Oh, oh, oh, honey ! Squeeze him tight! Find out what you wanna know! promise love, and if it really is, It’s there in his kiss!

You are my theme for a dream Yes you are, a rare and lovely theme (you’re a theme for a dream) The dreams I dream day and night That your arms are holding me so tight (you’re a theme for a dream) When I dream I kiss you (kiss you) Music fills with starlight (starlight) Every time I touch you ( when i touch you) Each and every time a chime rings out I love you Only you for ever more ’Cause you’re my theme for a dream Yes you are a rare and lovely theme (you’re my theme for a dream) So, angel please say that you love me too And make my dreams come true dream (you’re my theme for a dream) And make my dreams come true Please make my dreams come true.

(How ‘bout the way he acts?) no no no! That’s not the way! You’re not listenin’ to all I’m sayin’! If you wanna know If he loves you so It’s in his kiss! (That’s where it is!) Oh, yeah! Its in his kiss! (That’s where it is!)

The next issue of What is Wisdom??? (no. 7) will be out end of March.