What Is Wisdom 3

WHAT IS WISDOM??? Hopstaken’s Newsletter – 3rd edition – March 2006

Deventer City Hall - February 17, 2006

This newsletter is published by Loek Hopstaken of Hopstaken Bedrijfsadvies, Amsterdam, The Netherlands(www.hopstaken.com). Intended publics: Loek’s personal international network, including many former students at DDU of both himself and his pal Peter van Oosten. Regular contributor: Martin Zuurhout. Most pictures are by Peter & Loek. All correspondence: [email protected]. Contents of this edition: 1. Welcome to the third edition of ‘What is Wisdom???’ 2. What do you know … 3. What’s happening in The Netherlands 4. A view on cooperation between producers and distributors 5. Meet Ayhan & Zehra Omeroglu 6. Cultural notes 7. Ageing and the Art of “letting go” (part 2) 8. Miss me, but let me go 9. Wise quotes & crackers 10. News from across the planet 11. Our International Picture Gallery 12. Latest News Attachment 1: Graduation Song Attachment 2: Never Give Up

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1. Welcome to the third edition of ‘What is Wisdom???’ – by Loek Hopstaken The Third In this edition I present to you, my dear reader, two guest authors, which you already know of other editions: Peter van Oosten, and Martin Zuurhout. There’s a lot more, as you may expect after the first two editions. We still don’t succeed to limit ourselves to 5 pages. After interviews with two female graduates (from China and Pakistan, respectively) we now have a male one, from Turkey: Ayhan Omeroglu.

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Graduation Time Zhou Lincheng (Apple writes on her MSN Space): “Look at their faces. They are so proud of themselves. I really miss the past times. I think all the BBA 7 (Apple means, her BA7) do that as well. We had the same day. We all really studied hard for this. I hope all of you never forget that and do not give it up. Whatever you are doing now, you will succeed one day. Let’s take the hope and courage to help us face our future.” Yes, so true: Graduation is one of those rare occasions where you see so many happy faces. I feel deeply privileged to be part of this. It’s not just a mental boost for the graduates, it’s also a mental boost for us teachers. We finally see the results of our endeavours. Peter and I often look at the pictures of graduations. They remind us of the road to that moment, not always a smooth one, and the wonderful feelings when we get there at last. So yes, a small collection of pictures in this newsletter. You can see more on my MSN Space http://spaces.msn.com/hopper1951. What made this graduation unique, was its truly international character. Imagine a group consisting of graduates from Cameroun (Africa), Belarus (Europe), Turkey, Thailand, China, Vietnam, Indonesia and Nepal? Here are their names: Masters: Surendra Gurung and Saurav Sainju (both from Nepal) Bachelors: Rachael Edenge Ntoko Munge (Cameroun); Martha Sutriana-Steensma (Indonesia); Eew Sawaluck Suwannawong (Thailand); Bijaya Regmi and Mitra Poudel (both from Nepal); Lu Yao (Lydia), Zhang Jingjia (Cherry), Yao Yao (Jim), Xu Zhaoxiang (Orange) and Zhao Li (Kobe) (all from China); Valiantsin Lutchanka (Belarus); Ngoc Tuan Linh Chu (Joey) and Xuan Tung Vu (William) (both from Vietnam). They have all been added to our mailing list.

Deniz, Rachael, and Caroline

Martha: reward for highest ever average score

Peter Waite with Bijaya, Mitra, Saurav and Surendra: first four Nepalese DDU graduates, on the IJssel ferry ©2006 Hopstaken Bedrijfsadvies

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Most February 2006 Graduates with their teachers (Loek stands on his toes)

Yao Yao (Jim) & Xu Zhaoxiang (Orange)

“Oh it’s crying time again, you’re gonna leave me –

I can see that faraway look in your eyes …”

Like minds, kindred spirits One of my email-friends is a 86 year old music lover who lives in Tennessee, USA. In 1942 Martin Thach was 20, enlisted in the American navy, stationed near Los Angeles. When ashore, he would spend many nights in a night club, where his favorite singer performed: Nat King Cole. Nat liked his young admirer, and through Martin’s memories I learned a lot more about Cole, who is also one of my favorite singers. Since a few years, Martin and I have shared many thoughts and ideas. He helped me produce a 48 hour radio show on Duke Ellington, for Zane’s Cape Town based ‘Bush Radio’. Martin says he and I are ‘kindred spirits’. Once I send him a CD with a collection of music that excites me. Later he told me about driving his car through his hometown, windows open, thoroughly enjoying the magnificent guitar playing of Jimi Hendrix. Martin is 32 years older than me, and we feel like brothers – in their teens. Most of my students ©2006 Hopstaken Bedrijfsadvies 3

are around 30 years younger than I am now. Yet, with several I have a similar feeling. Yes, kindred spirits. ‘Like minds’, too: we seem to think along similar thought patterns. Remarkable, when you discover this. Peter and I also have like minds, and we’re kindred spirits. And you know what? There is many of us around. Each time we find that working closely with students, can bring out their true self – no longer hidden behind a carefully designed screen of cultural and social values. Kindred spirits, like minds. 86, 54, 22: age is no issue. On the road to each Graduation we always make these discoveries. Some call this bond, ‘being brothers’, or ‘sisters’. Others use ‘daughters’ or ‘sons’. I prefer ‘like minds’, and ‘kindred spirits’. And those who are my personal ones, know this. DDU in rough weather At present we are teaching two major classes at DDU. One of them is finalizing the Graduation Project, and aiming for Graduation in July. This semester I teach Presentation Techniques, Commercial Communication & Negotiation, and Managerial Communication / Conflict Resolution. After over 3 years of teaching at DDU, I learned a lot. So have many of my students, so they tell me. I don’t know if I’ll continue teaching at DDU; it all depends on the developments. There is a situation right now. Situation? You may have heard some rumors. But check the facts first. Well, some of you will know that the IND broke its contract with DDU after some Dutch media relayed highly biased and false accusations by a few ex-students. Guys who never showed up in class, and if they did any exams, failed miserably. Meanwhile, DDU took IND to court and the Court now appears to agree with DDU. But as so often, court cases live a life of their own, and the only ones who profit are lawyers. But the damage has been done: many students have changed schools, and for many months it was impossible to get students to come to Deventer. So DDU went from nearly 200 students back to a little over 100. What will be done to secure DDU’s future, is anyone’s guess at the moment. DDU sues IND for damages, but this may take a long time. All I know is that the teachers are even more motivated, and the students are even more focused on getting results. So if you happen to be in the area, I’m teaching on Tuesdays, Peter on Mondays and Thursdays. Catch us if you can, for a cup of coffee or chocolate.

2. What do you know … - by Loek Hopstaken How to complete a goal Here are the latest statistics from the American Society of Training and Development (ASTD) on the probability of completing a goal: · Hear an idea 10% · Consciously decide to adopt it 25% · Decide when you will do it 40% · Plan how you will do it 50% · Commit to someone else that you will do it 65% · Have a specific accountability appointment with a person regarding the specific goal 95%. And might I add … when you omit ‘when’, it will remain a dream, somewhere over the rainbow. How to start a conflict One of the most intriguing topics of late is conflict prevention. As a mediator, I’m always late. The fight has reached its peaks, the shouting and cursing has started. During a break, coming to their (common) senses, both parties agreed to accept mediation, as a possible means to end the conflict. In my experience, 2 out of 3 are successful, 1 fails. Reason: the fighting resumes, 1, or 2, lose control of their emotions, and with it, their common sense, dignity, and what not. When it’s succesful, it’s a very gratifying experience for both parties, and the mediator. Now, everytime I do a mediation (2 – 4 times a year) I find that all conflicts have one thing in common. They have a very similar start. Conflicts start the moment when someone’s message is denied by the receiver. He or she’s ignored. Or worse, the message is made fun off, or being judged as ‘unimportant’. I tell you, THAT HURTS. Often, people are too dumbfounded when this occurs, so instead of talking back, they remain silent, or just leave. When something simlar happens again, and again, you can set your clock to real fireworks starting. That’s how conflicts are born, or I should say: conceived. In this newsletter you’ll find a short text on how to prevent conflict. How to acquire taste Undoubtedly you have been involved in endless discussions about ‘taste’. You have probably been accused of having no, bad or a strange taste. There is no way of getting something out of those discussions; they are usually a waste of time, may leave you with the feeling that there is something seriously wrong with you, and the decision to not bother anyone again with your taste. You may have become very shy in telling someone your taste. Well, for several decades I have done that – keeping it all for myself. But at 54, I don’t care anymore. Statistically, I’m over two-thirds of my life, and I intend to enjoy the final third. As a matter of fact, I have great taste. If you don’t agree, bad luck. Ha! So when you see the cultural notes, be prepared to get a bite of my taste. By the way, I also discovered that sometimes you can develop a taste. It often is a case of exposing yourself, opening up – even surrendering to an art form. Art is not without risk, like the rest of life. But when you find something that ‘hits’ you – that’s the magic of art. And that is your taste, no matter what anyone thinks or says about it. ©2006 Hopstaken Bedrijfsadvies

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How to get to know someone An old wisdom says: “If you want to know a person’s soul, check his library.” An update: “If you want to know a person’s soul, check his library, CD and DVD collections.” When I visit someone’s house the first time, I can’t resist checking his or her collections of books, music and movies. More than once it caused me to withdraw a little, or completely. When I see a CD by an artist who I simply detest, I already feel a little more dustance between me and the owner of this CD. I know, it’s not fair. But that’s how it is. But more than once it also caused this wonderful sensation of discovering mutual interest in some literature, or other art form. Those were the first discoveries Peter and I made. And then you find there are some ‘kindred spirits’ around, people who may be completely different in personality, lifestyle, and even age, but who have lots of elementary similarities. When they hit a chord, you hear harmony. This issue’s word: Maverick (noun) Pronunciation: mæ-vêr-ik Part of Speech: Noun Meaning: 1. A calf or other animal that has left the herd and has not been branded, so that anyone who brands it can claim ownership. 2. A garrulous individualist, an iconoclast who lives by his or her own rules, posing a threat to others. Notes: Maverick is a maverick word, a garrulous individual with no lexical kin. It may, however, be used ‘as is’ adjectivally, “Buck Shott is a maverick CEO who took a chance no one else would take to produce and market electric ice skates.” In Play: Although we generally use the term to refer to iconoclasts who pose some sort of threat, we owe a lot to mavericks. Galileo Galilei and Charles Darwin were among the scientific mavericks who grandly expanded our understanding of the modern world. Henry Ford started out as a maverick who revolutionized car manufacturing. Word History: The eponym of this word is Texas cattleman, Samuel Maverick (1803-1870), who let the calves in his herd roam unbranded. Initially ranchers, who ‘adopted’ them, simply referred to them as “Maverick’s” but the term soon migrated into mavericks. An interesting side note: Sam’s grandson, Maury Maverick, coined the word gobbledygook to describe bureaucratic doubletalk. While serving in the U.S. Congress (1935-1939), he explained that the word is based on the sound of turkeys (the flying kind) back in Texas, who were “… always gobbledy-gobbling and strutting with ludicrous pomposity.” At the end of this gobble there is a sort of “gook”. (www.alphadictionary.com) Humor?!? Humor is a tricky subject. What you find funny, may be offensive to me. Or ‘I just don’t get it’. Cultures often manifest different senses of humor. That includes subcultures such as parents and children. My son & I sometimes have a different sense of humor when we watch TV programs. Below is a remark that some find funny. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did -- in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car. In your opinion, is this joke funny? Sick? Hilarious? Cruel? You don’t get it? Offensive? Let us know your opinion.

3. What’s happening in The Netherlands – by Loek Hopstaken

Rembrandt

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Rembrandt If you live in the Netherlands, you’ll have noticed that we Dutch celebrate the birth, 400 years ago, of one of our national heroes. Not a general, not a statesman, not a religious leader. No, we celebrate an artist. Rembrandt van Rijn was born in 1606 in Leiden, moved to Amsterdam, and during his life he became the most successful painter of his time. However, in old age he was no longer fashionable, and as he wasn’t too wise with money, he died in poverty. Yet, he was buried in one of Amsterdam’s main churches, and 130 years later he was finally recognized by international art historians as one of the greatest painters ever. Right now, collectors pay millions of euros for a Rembrandt. How do we celebrate this? Well, the easiest way is to check the internet of course. On the Art Renewal Center (http://www.artrenewal.org/asp/database/art.asp?aid=92) you can find high resolution reproductions of many Rembrandt paintings, easy to download. But there is no such thing as seeing these paintings in reality. See how the brushes smeared the oil paint on the canvas, leaving traces of the master. Together they create a magic of light, color, and illusion. In his original house (http://www.rembrandthuis.nl/cms_pages/index_main.html) you can see how the artist lived and worked. Indonesian Food and Culture Fair: Pasar Malam As you might know, Indonesia is a former Dutch colony. Through food and culture Indonesia – or as we Dutch used to call it, the Dutch East Indies – has become an integral part of my culture. Most Chinese restaurants offer Indonesian dishes, and there are many good Indonesian restaurants around the country. We grew up with ‘rice table’, ‘nasi goreng’ and ‘kroepoek’. The generation of Dutch who actually lived and grew up in the Indies, is slowly diminishing. But their children and grandchildren keep the tradition alive: there are many cooking societies, and both traditional Indonesian music and dance are being practiced all over the place. The Pasar Malam Besar in The Hague (Malieveld) is the major Indonesian food and culture fair. This year its 48th edition is from May 25 – June 5. This seems like a long time, but the tickets are cheaper if you order them before March 31. Apart from getting to know a relatively unknown, but important part of Dutch culture, you may enjoy the food, marvel at typical forms of colonial nostalgia, and some of the cultural events, which fall under the heading ‘Tong Tong Festival’, part of the Pasar Malam. Site: www.pasarmalambesar.nl.

4. A view on cooperation between producers and distributors – by Martin Zuurhout Should Western companies be held responsible for working conditions in foreign factories, which they do not own, but where subcontractors make products for these companies? Nowadays companies in Europe and America can only be successful by using an external supply chain to keep the cost down and to remain competitive. That is the reason why more and more Western companies are doing business with companies in China, Vietnam, Nepal, Pakistan, India and Bangladesh. For example, textile production in Holland is not more profitable. The mean reason is that a Dutch textile worker wants a salary of € 35 per hour, but in Bangladesh the skilled textile worker gets around € 0,95 per hour. However the supply chain is long and complex. Outsourcing raises a broad range of issues and concerns. The company must evaluate employment standards throughout the supply chain to ensure fairness and legal compliances on such matters as wages and benefits, working hours, freedom of associations and disciplinary practices as well as on the even more serious issues of forced labour, child labour and discrimination. Health and safety issues, environmental requirements, and community involvement also need to be considered. For example, more and more workers of the 3.700 textile fabrics in Bangladesh want to get better working conditions. March 2 of this year there was a large strike in Bangladesh by textile workers, because the working conditions are very dangerous in many textile fabrics and the textile workers want to improve them. Adidas Salomon is a good example of a company that designed and implemented a comprehensive supply chain management strategy to deal with such problems. Adidas Salomon is relying on about 570 factories around the world. In Asia alone, its suppliers operate in 18 countries. Its cost-saving use of external suppliers is not without risks in particular, the company has less control over workplace conditions at its suppliers factories than it would have at company-owned sites. That strategy is to source the company’s supplies from the cheapest acceptable sources rather than from the cheapest possible. Adidas Salomon has its own ‘standards of engagement’ (SOE), and the level of acceptance is based on the values of the company itself. Contractors subcontractors suppliers, and other are expected to conduct themselves in line with AdidasSalomon’s SOE. The strategy is based on a long term vision of self-governance for suppliers. Before forming a relationship with any new supplier, the company conducts an internal audit to ensure working conditions in that supplier meet Adidas-Salomon’s SOE criteria. All business partners sign an agreement to comply with the SOE and to take responsibility for their subcontractors’ performance on workplace conditions. Suppliers are audited at least once an year, and more often if serious problems are detected. In 2000 Adidas Salomon adopted a system of scoring and reporting on its suppliers’ performance. This system gave an overview of the supply chain and highlighted the main issues and problem areas on a country by country basis. ©2006 Hopstaken Bedrijfsadvies 6

ADIDAS –SALOMON SOE CONTRACT EXTERNAL SUPPLY CHAIN

INTERNAL SUPPLY CHAIN

Every year Adidas-Salomon tries to improved this system to reach a higher level of social and environmental performance. This article shows that there are many opportunities for DDU students to do business with Western companies, but they must be aware that more and more Western companies will only do business with foreign companies after signing a Standard Of Engagement. In this contract the foreign company declares that it will not work with children and that they offer good working conditions to their workers. I wish you all the best! Martin J.C. Zuurhout MBA, lecturer DDU - [email protected]

5. Meet Ayhan & Zehra Omeroglu – interviewed by Loek Hopstaken Ayhan Omeroglu and his wife Zehra graduated in February 2003. July 2004 Peter & I visited them at his spice company in Kemalpasa, close to Izmir, on the westcoast of Turkey. Tell us who you are, where you are from, and how long you have been in the Netherlands. Zehra is from Izmir, and I am from Ankara, the capital of Turkey. We spent nine months in The Netherlands. What does your company produce? How is business? Our company produces spices, herbs and seeds. Since we graduated we have become the largest supplier in Turkey, according to the Turkish Promotion Center. The last three years we have received a reward for this from the state. You have been back now for three years. Can you tell us what you did since you and Zehra wife returned? Since our return, we have reorganized the company, and introduced new technology to Turkey, called ‘steam sterilization’. Also, we have created standards, built labs, etc. What elements from your study do you use most? Marketing strategy, international marketing, what we learned about European laws, and intercultural communication. What elements should be part of a business administration education, but aren’t? One element would be a foreign language; right now, we are learning Spanish. To what degree did living and studying in The Netherlands help you to become successful in international business? For me it was not new, as I had been living in England before. But for Zehra it was a good experience. Besides, Zehra helped me a lot when I was ill; because of her I never missed the lectures. Is there a nice anecdote concerning your stay in Deventer you would like to share? I recall a presentation for marketing. Our teacher told us there would be a visitor who wasn’t from Dutch Delta; he wanted to attend a presentation. During my presentation, I could see on the faces of the audience that they liked it a lot, and afterwards they applauded. Then it was question time. The visitor asked me why I had chosen for The Netherlands and Dutch Delta. I replied: “ I have been studying at four different universities, and Dutch Delta is the fifth. Actually, ©2006 Hopstaken Bedrijfsadvies 7

none of those universities made me happy. Dutch Delta does, because I want to get married to Zehra. You see, I found out that Zehra’s father only gives us permission to get married when I have a diploma. That’s why I am here today.” They laughed a lot, but this was reality for us. Dutch Delta did not only teach us business, but also helped us to get married! Evidence:

Then …

… and now

At present, Turkey is being seen my many as an Asian country. Yet, Turkey’s goal is to be part of the European Union. Do you see this development as an opportunity, or a threat? This is not a topic for discussion: EU means 100% opportunity for the Turkish people. Omeroglu Tarim Ltd. is a family company, with you and Zehra managing. Would you recommend graduates who consider starting their own business, to turn it into a family company? Like all other Turkish families who have a business, my family ran it in a traditional way. However, we have changed our minds somewhat; we now think differently. In our family everyone has his or her own proficiency in a field. So what we expect from a family member, is to gain experience outside the company, and find out your capabilities and which sort of job befits you. If this means education, we don’t cut on the expenses, so they become the best. We give trust, and take the time to motivate them so they become successful, and become true team members. When you look at the future, do you have any specific dreams? Learning Spanish is because I want to go to Mexico in October this year. In 2007 the plan is to visit Russia. In a number of years I want to become a politician. Zehra has a dream of opening a school for children aged 3 – 12, with a very high standard. I’m also doing research for this project, which is intended to have an international status. If anyone wants to correspond about this project, please feel free to do so. How do you see the future of our small business network? Do you have any ideas about using this network to the advantage of many? Mankind is rapidly becoming a global community. Our university can connect the students, I am sure this will work. So, whoever needs information about Turkey, I can supply this. Everyone can do the same thing. This is the key to success: exchanging information … From your point of view, what should be done to improve business relations between East and West? Is there anything we all need to learn? What we all need to learn: languages, cultures, and statistics. To be specific, what should the Dutch learn from Turkey? And what should the Turkish learn? The Dutch should learn Turkish …;-) …We believe that as long as we live we will be learning from others, Asian or European. But since Turkey forms a bridge between Europe and Asia, we can exchange a lot of information, knowledge and products, both agricultural and industrial. ©2006 Hopstaken Bedrijfsadvies

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Do you have any lessons you have learned, while away from your home country, you would like to share with the readers of this newsletter? Once I attended a lecture about European business law. The lecture was 100% perfect, and so was the lecturer. It was 9 AM and the topic was a court case. Next to me sat our friend Alexander, from Russia. He was very upset, and smelled bad: alcohol. I asked: “Why did you drink so early in the day?” He said, “I lost a family member today.” I was shocked and very worried; for Turkish people, this is a very touchy subject. I told him, “Look, all of us will die one day, don’t worry … How old was he?” Alex said, he was very old. I said, “It’s better that he died, otherwise he would have suffered more pains … but how old was he?” He said, “sixteen.” Again I was shocked, I said: “ Oh no! How terrible! He is so very young!” Then Alex said it was his dog … I was not able to stop myself from laughing, and our lecturer had to stop his lecture. You see, in my culture dogs cannot be a family member. It would even be an insult to suggest such things. Since I was laughing, Alexander was angry with me. I then had to apologize to my lecturer, and also to Alex. I had just learned that we should not judge each other’s culture by our own values, as each culture and nation has its own set of values. Thanks, Ayhan, and thanks Zehra. Success with your business, and do keep in touch!

6. Cultural notes – by Loek Hopstaken Magic: In the Mood for Love

It is a restless moment. She has kept her head lowered, to give him a chance to come closer. But he could not, for lack of courage. She turns and walks away. That era has passed. Nothing that belonged to it exists any more. He remembers those vanished years. As though looking through a dusty window pane, the past is something he could see, but not touch. And everything he sees is blurred and indistinct.

One of the films in my modest DVD collection is ‘Fa Yeung Nin Wa’, or ‘In the Mood for Love’. Made in 2000 by Wang Kar Wai, and featuring Maggie Cheung and Tony Leung. Tony won an Oscar for his performance. The story – well, you can check this on the internet. If you are in any way perceptive to light melancholy, you’ll love this film. One theme is the suppression of passion. Something which anyone who has any emotional life will recognize. Another theme is trying to be ‘right’, and the dilemma’s surrounding it. The actors succeed in moving me to tears, by communicating feelings without words. And the added attractions? Well, the woman wears many beautiful and elegant Chinese dresses, as they were worn in the 60ies in Hong Kong. Similar to the dresses worn by many Chinese students during the Chinese Cultural Event, last year June. And to top it all, there was a song by Zhou Xuan – yes, the very same singer who sang the haunting ‘Ye Shanghai’ (1938) during the fashion parade – the version Peter & I effectively wrecked with English lyrics, during the Graduation boat trip on the IJssel. The song in the movie starts with the theme of ‘Happy Birthday To You’, the version of Miss Zhou, who sings her song and hits those same lovely high notes that not only mesmerized me, but also many others in the audience. Especially, the guys. A film, and music that puts you straight ‘in the mood for love’. (If you are interested, we can send you the MP3 of ‘Ye Shanghai’.) (See: http://www.wkw-inthemoodforlove.com/) Meet Jimi Hendrix Some music is strictly for men. So here we go, guys. If you haven’t checked this one out, do so soon. Jimi Hendrix may have been dead since 1970, his music is very much alive. You keep seeing his face on the front page of popular music magazines, and young guitar players desperately attempt to learn his style – imitation is nearly impossible. No one has ever equalled, let alone surpassed Hendrix. But watch out: about 75% of what’s on the market (my estimate) is plain rubbish. Jimi would have protested against many so-called collector’s items, which were nothing more than sound checks, or failed experiments. ©2006 Hopstaken Bedrijfsadvies

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So let me try to convert you, turn you into a Hendrix addict – like I have been for over 37 years now, since ‘The Wind Cries Mary’ came out. A song recently covered by talented British singer Jamie Cullum. Here’s a list of recommended Hendrix CD’s/DVD’s, and tracks: CD Are You Experienced? (Hey Joe, The Wind Cries Mary, Foxy Lady, Red House, Third Stone From the Sun) CD Electric Ladyland (All Along the Watchtower, Voodoo Chile – Slight Return) CD Band of Gypsys (Who Knows, Machine Gun, Power to Love) I collected my personal selection of Hendrix’ best on a 79 minute CD. If you are interested, let me know. One of Jimi’s best live recordings is ‘Johnny B. Goode’. You can see this performance on DVD ‘Jimi Plays Berkeley’. The best live footage of Hendrix is on DVD ‘Jimi Hendrix Live at Woodstock’. There is also a documentary film, ‘Experience’, which contains interesting footage, but too much talk.

7. Ageing and the Art of “letting go” (part 2) – by Peter van Oosten While my original plan with this article was to make one big story, the events in my immediate environment made further editing quite difficult for me, the reason why I rather suddenly stopped writing and ended with some pictures of my father’s house. It’s better this way, though, to cut my story into different parts and to deliver those with every next What Is Wisdom. I’m also just building up experience, you know, with storytelling (in English), with newsletter-pages overflowing with information, though just using very little space, and, of course!, with: ”ageing”, getting mature… Getting older myself, like we all do, but it seems to be going faster with me in this period of my life. Yes, thank you!, my eldest daughter Juul has become 17 years today and, like the cashier-woman Bianca at Albert Heijn nicely said to me this morning: “In only one more year you will not have any means left to get her where you want her to get!” (just another way of saying: she will be adult then…) In fact, as you closely watch the picture of Juul and little Hilde, riding the huge Harley Davidson, you can see Papa Peter already standing aside. Agreed, I’m still smiling and they’re still not completely ahead of me, but I’m certainly losing terrain and indefinitely: losing authority! On the other hand: we gave Juul a tiny Chinese 1 gb MP3-player as birthday present and she allowed me to partly fill it with MY recent Torrent-downloads, which I truly accepted as quite some honor… Imagine, music from the late sixties/early seventies, the wild times when Loek and I were young and still attractive, but shy and, well, huh, discovering all that was nice and provoking and progressive, expressions of freedom. Jimi Hendrix, Cream, Focus, Golden Earring, Led Zeppelin, Santana, Jethro Tull, Brian Wilson, MC5, Country Joe, Bob Dylan - of course! but not to forget: - Jack Kerouac, who wrote the freedom-philosophy “On the road” (which you can download as e-book now) and the movie “Easy Rider”, breathing about the same kind of atmosphere, eternally connected with long hair, beards, sex, endless roads & motorbikes. “Get your kicks on Route 66”… “Freedom’s just another word of nothin’ left to lose…” was a crying from the heart of Janis Joplin in her song “Me and Bobby McGee” (written by Kris Kristofferson). “…and nothin’ ain’t worth nothin’, but it’s free!” Those were our, well, I should say: my values in those freedom-years. I cherished and polished them and I kept telling myself, that I understood and knew the deeper meaning and backgrounds of these words. I started collecting words like these, in records, in tapes, in pictures, in books, in bottles of whiskey too… It became sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy and there came a time, when I really had (almost) nothing left to lose. Fortunately (a word, by the way, which for me will always be connected with the fantastic music of Carl Orff, a modern classical composer; his masterpiece “Carmina Burana” - originally drinking & student-songs – has a grand opening, which is the same as the finale: “O Fortuna!” This means: “Oh, Fate!” ©2006 Hopstaken Bedrijfsadvies

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Some clips: http://www.amazon.de/exec/obidos/clipserve/B00000JSAM001001/302-3502097-4594449 ). What I wanted to say: fortunately I realized then, that life and living still were attracting me enough and too much! I didn’t want to leave it all behind yet… But it more or less was like a circle, or a spiral going down. It took me quite some time, courage and willpower to find the way out, my way out of that addiction. And part of the secret was (and still is): speak openly, don’t hide. “Hiding” means that you’re creating new opportunities to lose yourself, mostly in self-pity. “Nobody loves me…” “Everybody’s always pickin’ on me” (Charlie Brown, cartoon series The Peanuts, with Snoopy, the little, lazy, wise dog). www.snoopy.com In fact, I remember one cartoon, where Charlie Brown was playing with his wooden blocks; he was building a big round tower, like a wall around him. The wall became higher and higher and Charlie was rather proud to have managed so far. But when he couldn’t reach the last blocks,

outside the tower, to finish his job, he suddenly realized that he got stuck; that he was caught into his own super-creation… And he could not think straight anymore… How would he ever get out? How could he break the circle? Looking from outside (at/of) this situation, it is quite unbelievable to witness how people react and behave; emotional and (thus) very unreasonable. We still can tell, or at least: try to tell them what to do, but they probably will not understand. They need magic and a magic word and if you can come up with this, you can call yourself a true wizard. Or a true friend. Or both. (Deepak Chopra: “The way of the wizard”, for instance, is guide lining these kind of situations, which will occur to us all, because these are human). Returning to the story of my (88 yrs old) father: he recently got “stuck inside”… His eye-sight suddenly became bad, but not bad enough for medical treatment, like surgery or laser. In November he also caused some strange and complicated traffic accident and thereafter he got into a shock-situation, which took him some time to overcome. Because of all this, he handed in his driver’s license after 70 years. Now he has to get used to derive his information in other ways, because he barely can read. He has to go places with other means of transportation, which he hardly ever used before in his life. He has to overcome his pride and stubbornness, related with his deep inside founded feelings of independency. He can still show his wonderful collections (pictures in part 1 of this story) of “all kinds of everything” to visitors, but he cannot enjoy the sight of those himself anymore. Now other people are helping him to clean his house. They like and hate his collections at the same time, as you can imagine! I think and I feel, that he has waited too long with changing and (re-)adjusting his life, his patterns and habits. Agreed, there was no urgent need to do that before, but now it’s “crisis”! Also in the light, in the perspective of what I see happening in my father’s life, I’ve been making up my own mind lately again: how about my habits? My collections? My foundations? Can I manage “without”? Could I do with “less”? Which are my basic needs to survive? Last week I decided to gradually diminish my own collection of music-recordings, my big stacks of LP’s… The idea even makes me feel glad, you know?! I just couldn’t imagine before… Loek is going to take over part of it; his wife Nelly doesn’t (have to) know yet! (To be continued in a next edition) ©2006 Hopstaken Bedrijfsadvies

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8. Miss me, but let me go (in good memory of Frank, Caroline’s late husband) When I come to the end of the road And the sun has set for me I want no rites in a gloom-filled room Why cry for a soul set free? Miss me a little--but not too long And not with your head bowed low Remember the love that we once shared Miss me, but let me go. For this is a journey that we all must take And each must go alone It's all a part of the Master's plan A step on the road to home. When you are lonely and sick of heart Go to the friends we know And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds Miss me, but let me go! 9. Wise quotes & crackers “If you want to find out about the road ahead, then ask about it from those coming back.” Chinese Proverb “The bend in the road is not the end of the road, unless you refuse to take the turn.” Anonymous Zane Ibrahim contributed this wise anecdote: An elder Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, “A fight is going on inside me...It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, pride and superiority. The other wolf stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside of you and every other person too.” They thought about it for a minute and then one little girl asked her grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old Cherokee smiled, then simply replied: “The one I feed.” “Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.” Mother Teresa (1910-1997, Albanian-born Roman Catholic missionary) “Certain beliefs must accompany every action: One should act without selfishness, cultivate compassion for all living things, and develop respect for others.” Bstan-dzin-rgya-mtsho (1935-, Tibetan 14th Dalai Lama) “If Adam and Eve had been Chinese, we would still be in paradise, because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.” Anon. Believe it or not, the U.S.A. does produce some very wise people: “We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people.” Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968, American Civil Rights leader, Nobel Prize winner, 1964 “There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. That little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” W. Clement Stone (1902-2002, American businessman, author, founder of Combined Insurance Companies) ©2006 Hopstaken Bedrijfsadvies

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“The fault finder will find faults even in paradise.” Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862, American essayist, poet, naturalist) “As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.” Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919, American industrialist, philanthropist) “Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882, American poet, essayist) “Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” Samuel Clemens (better known as Mark Twain; 1835-1910, American novelist)

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another!” Gail Sheehy (1937-, American journalist, author)

10. News from across the planet Job hunts Yifan Sun (Jack) found a job in his home country, Luxemburg. I haven’t heard of others sofar; do let me know. Others are happy with their current job, and others again are on the search for a new job. It isn’t easy, and after school the working life is very, very different. Most of you who I communicate with struggle with their new existence, trying to survive the major change of climate – both cultural and for real – and way of life – work instead of study. It’s like trying to adapt to a new rhythm.

“ Heigh ho, heigh ho, it’s off to work we go …” March 2, 2006, A4 Amsterdam-The Hague – cold and snowy Marriages? Kids? Affairs??? It’s quiet on this front; no news is good news, they say. I was promised some photos of CK and Tony Cao’s wedding, end of January in Ho Chi Minh City, but haven’t seen anything sofar. Again, let us know about these events. Perhaps we might start a gossip section in our newsletter …

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Chatterbox As mentioned earlier, meeting each other online is something most of us have gotten used to. Yet, I still experience this as a wonderful gift: for decades, I would lose friends because writing letters and then waiting for replies, or expensive phone calls, weren’t exactly stimulating for lazy and impatient people like me. Even faxing wasn’t the real thing. I use chatting when I have 10 minutes to spare, and often this turns into 20 minutes, and sometimes into an hour. But I can see it’s addictive when you are feeling a bit bored, with not much to do. Students have learnd how to find me and ask for advice, ex-students want to know about school, and how he or she is doing. And sometimes I feel the inspiration I often receive when I’m teaching – from students, and our interaction. Chatting with one chat mate can do the same thing. It’s like re-creating what we had in class, sometimes several years ago. By now, my MSN Space has had over 1,500 visitors. It’s an infrequently maintained homepage, with a growing number of photo albums, and weblog items. I mix work and private life, as you can expect from me. I visit many MSN Spaces, when I see there is news. Sometimes the news is in Chinese characters. Ok, I understand, then I’m always not part of your public. Careers are taking off, some find a second job. Step by step they come closer to finding a working formula for their own lives. Like you, I love looking at pictures, especially those of friends. All in all, It feels great to know how friends are doing, and making our common wish, ‘keeping in touch’, reality. Do Thi Hong Linh (Cherry) 7.5 Chu Luyin (Kelly) 7.5 Lu Wang (Lulu) 10.5 Roshan Basnet 10.5 Muhammad Jahangir 15.5 Manisha Shrestra 16.5 Wang Jun (Bauer) 16.5 Phan Hoai Nam (Chris) 18.5 Bijaya Raj Regmi 18.5 Yifan Sun (Jack) 21.5 Wang Xu Hui (Ben) 23.5 Liang Yin Jie (Tim) 23.5 Ntoko Edenge Munge (Rachael) 4.6 Nguyen Dinh Hung (Paul) 4.6 Yin Chenglin (Colin) 17.6 Gaurav Manish (Manish) 20.6

Birthdays March 15 – July 1 Martha Steensma-Sutriana 17.3 Sawaluck Suwannawong (Eew) 20.3 Piao Cheng (Jacky) 30.3 Serkan Kizilkanat Kilzim 2.4 Larry O’Connor 5.4 Chu Ngoc Tuan Linh (Joey) 5.4 Jiang Youlin (Bill) 9.4 Saurav Sainju 17.4 Shi Lei (Shelly) 24.4 Tung Nhu Dang (Fire) 25.4 Xiao Yezheng (Johnson) 28.4 Peter van Oosten 29.4 Muhammad Zaheer 6.5

11. Our International Picture Gallery Yes, we have them by the thousands. Pictures relating to work and study. Nevertheless, we would like to have more, and more. For example, showing how you are doing these days. Send the nice ones to [email protected], and perhaps we publish them!

Is there life after Graduation?

Peter & Kelly eating pumpkin–risotto

Peter & Deniz eating ice for three ©2006 Hopstaken Bedrijfsadvies

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Ngoc Tuan Linh Chu (Joey) & Valiantsin

Yao Yao (Jim) & fiancee

Graduation Day, canteen

Family life

Serap Zorluer became … aunt Serap

Nelly & Loek; Shelly (Shi Lei), Zeng Qian (Tracy) and Cui Yi (Stella), December 2005, after a Chinese lunch

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Two Turkish associates

Zafer Oter, our great guide in Efese

Ceyhan Aldemir, here seen lecturing in October 2004

Former DDU Staff Susana now lives and works in Zaragosa, Spain

Larry O’Connor came over for Graduation Party. He loved it.

South African Coon Festival (Zane; see next page)

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Since January 2006 Zane Ibrahim leads a team of appr. 3,000 musicians in his hometown Cape Town (South Africa). 3,000 musicians??? Yes, you read that figure correctly. Since the 17the century, each year, 2-4 January and each following weekend, this great festival takes place. Nowadays altogether about 30,000 amateur musicians march the streets of Cape Town playing brass instruments – trumpets, saxophones, tubas, clarinets and trombones – and singing songs. They make a lot of wonderful noise, and create cheerfulness throughout the town. This is the ‘Coon’, or ‘Minstrel Festival’. Zane’s father used to lead one of the 10 teams, and since he died in 2005, his son took over. The participants dress up in colorful clothes, and paint their faces. The pictures show Zane, and two musicians, regaining strength.

Fisherman’s Pride (ChoCho in VietNam)

March 2006 – IJssel River

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12. Latest News

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Attachment 1: Graduation Song After the Chinese Cultural Evening, Peter suggested we make new lyrics to Ye Shanghai for Graduation. He made a start, I added some verses, he added some more. The first performance was during the after party on the boat (July 18, 2005).The second time we failed, as we couldn’t recall our own words. We hereby promise to sing them again in June. Here they are:

Graduation Song July 2005 BBA MBA all you graduates fly away! to Hanoi and Shanghai... And we(he) wonder WHY? ...you came here for some years in the land of sex and beer... Each of you grew and grew came as kids & leave as YOU DDU IOU Memories of way back, when Yes! You laughed! Yes! You cried! Yet you learnt to live some more! My, oh my, This July Life will never be the same… Emptiness, Loneliness… School no longer is your game! Repeat first verse

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Attachment 2: Never Give Up Never give up! its wiser and better Always to hope than once to despair: Fling off the load of Doubt’s cankering fetter, And break the dark spell of tyrannical care: Never give up! or the burthen may sink you— Providence kindly has mingled the cup, And in all trials or troubles, bethink you, The watchword of life must be, Never give up! Never give up! there are chances and changes Helping the hopeful a hundred to one, And, through the chaos, High Wisdom arranges Every success—if you'll only hope on: Never give up! for the wisest, is boldest, Knowing that Providence mingles the cup, And of all maxims the best as the oldest, Is the true watchword of Never give up. Never give up! though the grape shot may rattle, Or the full thunder cloud over you burst, Stand like a rock, and the storm or the battle Little shall harm you though doing their worst: Never give up! if adversity presses Providence wisely has mingled the cup, And the best counsel, in all your distresses, Is the stout watchword of Never give up. Martin Farquhar Tupper

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