March 2009

One Easter Sunday as the minister was preaching the Children's Ser mon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg .He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?"I know a little boy exclaimed, "Pantyhose!" A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was going down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step ROAR step, ROAR, step,, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. —- When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?" My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know howasked you the and A Sunday school teacher God are alike?" I mentally polished my children just before she dismissed halo, while Ithem asked, "No, how are we alike?" to go back to the church, "And why is it both necessary quiet in church?" "You're old,"tohebereplied. Little Johnny jumped up and yelled, "Because people are sleeping!"

Prime Timers Dispatch Ministry of Mill Road Baptist Church January 28, 2009

PROFILING PEOPLE Pastor Bill Kellough In the Bible God gives us the perimeters to help us profile people around us as well as to come to an understanding of who we are. In the book of 1 Corinthians, the apostle Paul teaches us that there are two categories of people in the world. We have the natural man and the Spiritual man. (1 Corinthians 2:14-15) But the natural man receives not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. But he that is spiritual judges all things, yet he himself is judged of no man. The Lord Jesus said it differently. He said to the unbelieving: (John 8:44) Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it So there are only two types of individuals in the world; the believing and the unbelieving; those who are born again and those who need to hear the “good news” of the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ; Who is ever living to save them who come to the Father God by Him. Jesus came to seek and save the natural man and has commissioned his followers to go into all the world with this message.

The apostle also teaches that there are two categories of people in the church. He wrote: (1 Corinthians 3:1-2) “And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ. I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able”. Well, the question is: “How do you profile the Spiritual and the carnal? A carnal Christian is one who has believed on and received Christ as his personal Savior, but has not grown in the grace and knowledge of Christ; so he lives like a natural man. As a spiritual babe, he is still on milk (Christ as Savior), but has no appetite for meat ( Christ as High priest and Lord). The fruit of the Spirit is not a hallmark of his life (Galatians 5:22-26). He is a spiritual child and not a mature productive believer. A Spiritual Christian is one who has grown to spiritual maturity. He knows God’s Word and has the skill to discern good and evil; truth and lie; the wisdom of God and the wisdom of men. The Spiritual Christian evidences the above mentioned fruit of the Spirit. The Spiritual Christian is committed to the Lordship of Christ. He dies unto himself and walks in the grace of God’s power. He is not pious and self-righteous, but a lowly humble servant of the Living God. I want to encourage you to profile yourself. Examine yourselves and become all that God wants you to be.

Return Service Requested 80 W. Mill Rd Evansville, In 47710

Evansville, In Permit No 2899

US POSTAGE PAID Non Profit

AMBASSADORS BIBLE CLASS Pastor/Teacher Bill Kellough

Associate Dan King

ORANGE DREAMSICLE CAKE Guest Hosted — Pastor John Kellough BRING A PICTURE OF A BEST FRIEND OR SWEETHEART OF BY-GONE YEARS TO SHARE MEMORIES Carry In - Bring Vegetable or desert We will furnish the chicken CELEBRATE SPRING

MARCH 17, 2009 10:45—4:00 PM Visit the Historic

ANGEL MOUNDS A well preserved prehistoric Native American site which was inhabited by Middle Mississippian Indians from 1100-1450 AD

Lunch with Friends At

CICI’s Pizza Total cost: $12.00 Make Reservation now 424-1916

Let’s Enjoy The Spring Scenery Tuesday— Tuesday—May 12

HUBER FAMILY FARM AND RESTAURANT

Starlight Indiana Beautiful Rolling Hills of Indiana Transportation only—$8.00 Dutch on Lunch Reserve Your Spot Now 424-1916

1 Box orange cake mix (Duncan Hines) 2 Eggs ½ Cup cooking oil 1½ Cups water 1 Small box orange jello (dry) • • •

Grease and lightly sprinkle flour in bottom of 9x13 pan or two 8 inch round pans Mix all ingredients and pour in pans Bake 35 minutes at 350°

Frosting 1 8 oz softened cream cheese 1 Large box instant vanilla pudding (dry) ½ Cup orange joice ½ Cup sugar —Blend all together THEN: • Add a 20 oz can of drained pineapple • Fold in 12 oz tub of cool whip • Spread on cooled cake • Keep refrigerated LET’S ALL PARTICIPATE IN

SHARE THE WORD BIBLE CONFERENCE Guest Servants Of The Word

Phil and Sara Taylor Milford Ohio Friday—March 6th—6:30 PM Saturday—March 7th—8:30 AM Bible Building Project March 8th—Regular Services

EXPOSITORY STUDY OF

\ This epistle written by the apostle Paul to the Corinthians is his second longest letter. We know more about this church than any other church in the New Testament. It was written to them while Paul was in Ephesus. The apostle spent 18 months there and his ministry was very contentious with the Jews of that very wicked city. Yet God greatly blessed this body of believers. His theme is “how to apply principles of righteousness to every day living”. He deals with ♦ Misunderstandings and divisions in the church ♦ Moral disorders in the Christian community ♦ Marriage, divorce and remarriage ♦ Christian Liberty vs legalism ♦ Worship and Spiritual gifts ♦ Resurrection and the believers hope ♦ And much more Please make it a point to get in on this very appropriate study for our times. Come early for breakfast refreshment and fellowship. Class time is at 9:30 AM. We provide prepared notes and use power point to make learning easier. By the way, bring your friends. Class is open to all men and women of all ages and status.