The Stag - Issue 12

Issue 12 Editor: Sara Hadfield Editor-In-Chief: Elizabeth Simos Produced in USSU, University of Surrey, Guildford Est. 2008

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Student Pub Crawl Faces Nationwide Ban This Issue: NEW Agony Aunt! NEW Track of the Week! One Day in the Life of .... The VPs Guildford Heat Spotlight on Chad McKnight Things Men Don’t Talk About... Upcoming AGMs: Have Your Say! And much more...

Recycle Your Stag!

by Ben Pook

U

nions across the country have chosen to ban a notorious student pub crawl, amid recent outrage following the news that student Philip Laing urinated on a war memorial. Excessive drinking has become a norm among many students. Here in Guildford, pubs and bars freely promote binge nights by enticing Surrey students with deals of cheap drinks. And despite recent government campaigns to improve the situation, including ‘Drink Aware’, the general consensus to get hammered hasn’t changed.

pear, leaving student unions, police, and sometimes even the hospitals to pick up the pieces.” The company, which cannot be identified, has remained consistent with its policy on responsible drinking. On its website, it states “At the forefront of our mindset is student safety”. This seemingly professional manner and attitude to responsibility is again highlighted, where on the website it cites free soft drinks are available at every venue and on-site medical services accompany each pub crawl.

However, the NUS believe this still doesn’t consider the danger posed to students, with vice-president The company, which is responsible for arranging for NUS Welfare, Ben Whittaker, suggesting “Any ordrinking events for an estimated 350,000 stu- ganised bar crawl that has an ambulance following dents in the UK, is being banned from a number behind it clearly has something deeply wrong.” of universities in the 45 towns and cities in which it operates. Student binge drinking has been in the Some appear to have mixed feelings about how spotlight since 19-year-old Sheffield Hallam stu- student representatives have handled the situadent Philip Laing urinated on a wreath of poppies tion. On one hand, some students here at Surrey at a war memorial. Laing has been found guilty by a question why universities have reacted badly to the court, where he described the night as “the drunk- recent news “Why should one idiot prevent thouest I have ever been at uni”. He now faces a pos- sands of other students from having a good time” sible jail sentence. said one student. Others believe binge drinking and pub crawls represent an expected environment on Many stakeholders in student welfare have voiced campuses and in associated towns. The event in their concerns about the organisation. Richard Bud- question simply provides a structure, which arguden, vice president of the NUS, said “There is an ably would be organised by social groups if event acute and real danger to students who get caught planners weren’t available. up with these nights, not to mention the danger to members of the local population, and the harm There doesn’t seem to be anything stopping studone to town and gown community relationships,”. dents from organising independent pub crawls on a similar scale. For example, student reps from the “An increasing number of campuses want to see School of Management host a yearly event which the end of these events and are doing all they can includes visiting a number of pubs and bars, where to stop them by prohibiting ticket sales and banning students are encouraged to play drinking games all publicity.” With this in mind, it seems the event and wake up in the morning claiming a mild form will struggle to continue if all universities agree the of dementia. Do private student events cause binge organisation is detrimental to the welfare of their drinking and antisocial behaviour? Or, are they prostudents. Budden went on to explain, “They take stu- viding a service and a structure to a culture or envidents on pub crawls that degrade the participants, ronment which is already there? put students’ welfare at risk and lead to antisocial behaviour. They make their money and then disap- Continued Page 3..... Issue 12 I 23rd November 2009 I www.ussu.co.uk/thestag

Editor’s Letter Hi all! Hope you’re doing well since we last spoke! I would first of all like to apologise for this issue being late. We had some pretty lengthy technical issues which I’m glad to report have now been resolved! So what’s happened in the past few weeks? For those of you who ventured out in the pouring rain to watch the University fireworks, good on you! I hope you all enjoyed them! I decided to enjoy them from a much warmer and comfier environment within the Teaching Block. I hope you had a great time at Laser Quest! I’ve been to Laser Quest twice now and both times our group have had some pretty bad injuries from misjudging an obstacle. But for some reason, it’s still so much fun! However, I do hope you all managed to get away injury – free! If you want to know what’s happening in the Union in the next few weeks make sure you pick up your copy of the Events Planner from the Students’ Union Foyer. For those of you who are eagerly awaiting Fetish ticket sales remember, they will be sold from the Students’ Union, not the University Bookshop so make sure you don’t make that mistake! I am pleased to report that I have been told that UniK will be re-opening after Christmas so we will all be able to cure our post midnight munchies once again! Christmas seems to be sneaking up on us very fast this year. You start to envy your parents who have just broken the news to you that they began their Christmas shopping in May and have just about finished! Not really the sort of thing you want to hear but they still seem to enjoy telling you every year, despite knowing this really gets on your nerves! Don’t worry they know we’ve got plenty of time they just do it to bug us!

Sara x

Well, I hope you all have a great couple of weeks and make sure you check out our Christmas issue!

Editor I Sara Hadfield : [email protected] Deputy Editor (Design) I Steff Lever : [email protected] Deputy Editor (Marketing) I Jack McWaters : [email protected] News I Ben Pook : [email protected] Features I Mariam Nasir : [email protected] Science I David Pugh : [email protected] Societies I Bakita Kasadha : [email protected] Music I Mark Allen : [email protected] Dance & Theatre I Rachel Gildea : [email protected] Literature I Eunice Njagi : [email protected] Film I Ollie Sim : [email protected] Sports I David Holt : [email protected] Copy Editor I Ankur Banerjee The Stag is an editorially independent newspaper and is published by the University of Surrey Students’ Union. The views expressed in the paper are those of individual authors and do not necessarily represent the views of the editorial team, the Students’ Union or the University of Surrey. Printed by Surrey and Berkshire Media Limited Stoke Mill House, Woking Road, Guildford, Surrey GU1 1QA The Stag reserves the right to edit submissions. Please direct all enquiries to the relevant section editors.

In this issue... News Pages 3 - 5 Features Pages 7 - 21 Fashion I Page 12 Science I Pages 14 - 15 Health I Page 17 Societies Pages 22 - 23 Arts Pages 25 - 34 Music I Pages 25 - 27 Dance & Theatre I Pages 28 - 29 Literature I Pages 30 - 32 Film I Pages 32 - 34 Sports Pages 36 - 38

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Continued from Page 1.... Furthermore, there is already a strong drinking culture in many University sports clubs and societies, including Surrey. Only a few years ago, a number of Surrey students faced permanent expulsion because of degrading and selfish acts, fuelled by alcohol and presumably peer pressure, while away on an organised sport trip. This strong stance on binge drinking by both the University and the Union is an encouraging sign for students. The union is responsible for the actions of clubs and societies, whether these actions take place on trips or on campus, and the welfare of the students has to remain as a top priority. The general student consensus agrees with the NUS "There is an underlying tone at all of these events, which is to drink as much as possible, as quickly as possible” said one student here at Surrey. He continued, “As the event organiser, the company has to take responsibility for the actions of the students. If students are relieving themselves over memorials, then the organiser should take part of the blame.” This argument is echoed by the judge presiding over Laing’s case, who emphasised the duty of responsibility required by the company “Some might say somebody should be standing alongside you this morning”. District Judge Anthony Browne continued by identifying Laing’s actions as “disgusting and reprehensible”. Meanwhile, as we wait for the fate of the company to be decided by universities and not us students, don’t forget to look out for notices about student pub crawls – organised by students – you’ll surely find yourself inundated with invitations.

by Ben Pook

Students revolt against Guildford bus system

The Guildford bus network has come under attack by angry Surrey students who are fed up of the inconsistent service and the occasionally rude driver. As winter sets in and cold frosty evenings become an expected greeting at the end of each day, the last thing commuting students want is to be ignored by bus drivers and have to wait 30 minutes for the next bus. Unfortunately, this has been the case for some students here at the University. One offered an account of her experience, in which she queued patiently at a bus stop only to be ‘rudely ignored’ by the approaching driver. This resulted in a group of 33 students having to wait over half an hour for the next bus – she was so bored she tallied the number of people waiting.

unemployed binge-drinking louts, and while that might be the case for the majority of the student population, it doesn’t explain the negative reaction some of us receive by hypocritical members of the public. Can this prejudice explain the poor service received by students waiting at campus bus stops while on their commute home? Arguably, the Bus companies have been hit hard by the route via the Stag Hill campus is proving to economic downturn as firms are finding it make our lives harder, rather than quicken difficult due to the ‘financial pressures’ in our journey home from university. the industry. Counties surrounding Surrey, including Berkshire, have been noted in There are a number of solutions to this recent press as withdrawing or reducing problem. I chose to live close enough to some routes and services. Is the poor service campus to walk, whereas friends who live quality in Guildford a reaction to the suffering further away choose to cycle. Either way, the transport industry? Or, could there be a more general consensus among my peer group is to avoid public transport at all costs. The sinister issue at play? reason? We’re all price-conscious students Most individuals who haven’t experienced no matter the quality in service. university culture have a fairly poor opinion of students. We’re regularly perceived as

Vandals sabotage the stag

by Ben Pook

The structure was installed at the start of this year partly to identify the University’s recognition of its geographic surroundings. University of Surrey and the Cathedral are positioned on Stag Hill, an area of high-land so called because the Kings of England used to hunt on its plains. “This magnificent new creation will be a landmark for many years to come,” said the University’s Chancellor. “It’s a wonderful way to represent the university’s long connection with Stag Hill.”

And while the vandalism will The stag statue represents freedom and vigour be perceived by for the student community at the University some as minor of Surrey. However, for the second time in and irrelevant, less than a year, vandals have sabotaged the the University unblemished structure by removing letters from takes the its base. matter very seriously. CCTV Students have found the news upsetting, with images have some asking for swift action in the university’s been recorded response. “I enjoyed having my photos taken and the by the stag. I hope the university find whoever The 5-metre tall stag was created by acclaimed University is in did this sooner rather than later,” said Matt sculpture Allan Sly, who, at the opening talks with the Barnard, a final year undergraduate. “Now, with ceremony, explained, “Every commission has local police in some of the letters missing, I feel as if half of challenges and the main challenge with this an attempt to the photograph is empty.” was taking a small image the size of a postage find a resolution stamp that is well known to everyone and to the matter. President of the Union, Elizabeth Simos, said making it so much bigger.” that this occurence was ‘a great shame’; however, the University ‘acted swiftly’ to act on the incident and replaced the missing letters.

Can music help you study?

Many of us listen to our favourite tracks while studying in an attempt to relax our mind or possibly increase our productivity. Some prefer to study in silence. But, is there a direct relationship between music and studying? And more importantly, is this relationship positive? Ben Pook questions why so many of us chose to hit ‘start’ on our favourite playlist and gear up for a night in with our overpriced textbooks.

of psychology and co-author of the study. “Even if you learn while multi-tasking, that learning is less flexible and more specialised, so you cannot retrieve the information as easily. Our study shows that to the degree you can learn while multi-tasking, you will use different brain systems”.

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A recent report determined that ‘background noise’ can aid studying. This noise prevents the brain from processing other noises, such as people talking or the sound coming from the washing machine in the kitchen – at this point I slowly turned up the volume of Eddy Grant’s Electric Avenue. Interestingly, this scientific experiment found ‘slow to medium paced’ music “The best thing you can do to improve your is most effective, as well as establishing that memory is to pay attention to the things you ‘vocals and loud drum beats’ have a negative A number of studies have taken place to want to remember.” Poldrack continued, “Our relationship with studying. That rules out Run determine the effect music has on our brains. data supports that. When distractions force DMC’s ‘My Adidas’. These effects have naturally been related to you to pay less attention to what you are doing, studying or memory, in an attempt by scientists you don’t learn as well as if you had paid full The genre of music, or structure, clearly has to calculate whether music can help us store attention.” an effect on how well we study. My favourite memory for longer and more effectively. Also, genres are hip-hop, dancehall and reggae. these studies have attempted to establish what In response to scientific findings, it seems genre or type of music is most useful. I need to reconsider my playlist before I bury my head in textbooks or journals. Vocals are a According to one report, music has a positive distraction because our brain attempts to clarify relationship with a number of general activities. their meaning. This withdraws our focus from Nina Kraus, a neuroscientist at Northwestern studying as the brain calibrates to determine University, USA said, “Experience with music the lyrics in a song. Ironically, when I listen appears to help with many other things in life, to dancehall, I occasionally find it difficult to potentially transferring to activities like reading understand the meaning because of the strong or picking up nuances in tones of voices or patois dialect. hearing sounds in a noisy classroom better.” It seems the most effective genres of music are However, the study suggested that the ability classical and jazz. These styles often lack heavy to retain information was more profound in Music is often digested as a background medium drum patterns and vocals, providing an ideal participants who had a significant experience – meaning we don’t always pay attention to ‘background noise’ for studying. Jazz is often with music, for example training in an instrument. how the music progresses or even what track is described as a form of complex improvisation, “We found our musically trained subjects were playing. Poldrack’s report highlights music and within which the brain shuts off and produces far better at tracking three different tones than studying as ‘multi-tasking’ and a ‘distraction’. a rejection of control. Arguably, this provides the non-musicians.” Although, for unbiased However, it seems mistaken to assume music is the perfect music for the brain and allows us to participants, Kraus concluded, “We think music always consumed at the same level as another productively study. engages higher level functions in the cortex that activity, for example studying. actually tune the brainstem”, thus maintaining Taste in music is determined by experiences. the finding that music, in general, can have a I often study oblivious to what music is playing Listening to ragga vibes from a young age and positive effect on studying. in the background. While writing this article, I visiting Channel One Soundsystem parties have hadn’t realised I listened to the same riddim four coupled to establish my adoration for reggae A number of us find music a hindrance on times in a row. That’s 20 minutes of the same music. Similarly, I have close friends and family our preparations for exams or while we’re beat and melody, only with separate vocals. It who enjoy listening to heavy metal or simply preparing coursework. I sometimes find myself was only until writing this section, ironically, did I pop. I still question the effectiveness of the switching my media player to mute as my mind bother checking my playlist. I can’t comprehend latter. gradually begins to collapse due to the number how this activity is perceived as a distraction. of interactions – but that’s because I can’t do Furthermore, it seems more appropriate to Regardless of the scientific proof we’ll all more than two things at once. identify how the music is consumed to establish remain ignorant, including myself, and chose to listen to whatever the hell we want to. That’s whether it actually involves multi-tasking. In 2006, the Proceedings of the National the beauty of music. Academy of Sciences found multi-tasking has a With this in mind, you should be asking yourself: negative effect on the brain’s learning systems. “Am I focusing on listening to music more than Ben Pook “Multi-tasking adversely affects how you learn” I am focusing on my studies?” said Russell Poldrack, UCLA associate professor

Do you have a news story? [email protected]

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Government Reviews Student Fees by Ben Pook In response to the recent review of higher education funding, the National Union of Students has urged the government to recognise the importance of student representation. The future of the sector is the subject of much debate as last week the government agreed a new set of proposals identifying its policies on higher education; specifically tuition fees. Unfortunately, this review will not be published until after the next election. These calls by the president of the NUS, Wes Streeting, seemed to have been answered when it was announced that a student representative was asked to accompany the panel in the review. However, Streeting remains concerned about how the government will react to mounting economic pressure. He said, “I have limited confidence that this review will do anything other than give universities the chance to increase fees after the general election”. “Politicians should remember the student backlash in 2004 that almost brought Blair’s government down and saw many pro-fees MPs lose their seats. There will be an even greater backlash if the review proposes plunging students into greater debt.” This month, Business Secretary Lord Mandelson indicated that higher and further education sectors must start raising more of their own funds as they face “increasingly tight fiscal constraints”. He went on to say, “We will also have to look at the contribution that individuals make to the cost of higher education, which we will do through the independent fees review.” The recent backing from the Conservatives indicates the review now has cross-party

support, meaning it will be at the top of the agenda for whichever government is in power next. Meanwhile, universities have urged Gordon Brown to increase the maximum top-up fees from £3,225 to as much as £7,000. However, this request has fallen on deaf ears because the money doesn’t exist to raise the cost – taxpayers already subsidise loans to pay for fees. Wes Streeting also voiced concerns about the Government’s proposal of ‘no-fee’ degrees. “While so-called ‘no-fee’ degrees might benefit a small number of students who choose to study closer to home for the right reasons, this proposal could lead to a two-tier system whereby poorer students feel compelled to stay at home for financial reasons, and find their course choices limited as a result.” “It is also problematic because it assumes that students living at home do not need financial help. According to the Government’s own figures, students over 25, those with children and those living at home all face higher costs in order to participate in their course, for instance relating to childcare or travel. It is therefore wrong to suggest that these groups will be helped by having their fees and loans scrapped.” While it seems we are at the mercy of the government’s review of student fees, the NUS remains adamant that engagement between parliament and students must improve. Contact the NUS for more information regarding the review at 0207 380 6600.

Tuition Fees: Have an impact with your vote by Wes Streeting, President of the NUS If your local MP remains silent on fees, hit them where it hurts – at the ballot box. Last week, the Government announced its long awaited review of university top-up fees. Rather conveniently for our two main political parties, this review will not report back until after the general election – meaning that neither Labour nor the Conservatives will have to tell voters where they stand on this key issue. NUS, and many students’ unions across the country, are not willing to accept this cosy consensus of silence. Hundreds of us attended a meeting in the House of Commons last week to urge our local MPs to consider signing a pledge that they will vote against any increase in fees in the next parliament, and that they will put pressure on the Government to introduce a fair alternative to variable fees. If MPs do not speak out against higher fees by signing this pledge, they will be named and shamed, and students in their constituency will be urged not to vote for them.

Students are already graduating with over £20,000 of debt, and even universities themselves admit that this would rise to over £32,000 if top-up fees were raised to £7,000 a year. More ‘prestigious’ universities would be able to charge much more than others, effectively pricing poorer students out of the top end of the universities ‘market’. NUS and students’ unions will be making it very clear to MPs that we will not stand for this. Students have the power to significantly influence the higher education policies of our two main political parties in the forthcoming election. But we have to be united if we are to make our votes count. Find out from your students’ union if your local candidate has taken a stand on fees, and if they have not done so, hit them where it hurts – at the ballot box.

Guildford Lib Dems challenge increase in tuition fees

by Ben Pook

sector,” he said.

Universities and MPs have lobbied in recent weeks for an increase on student tuition fees. Guildford’s Liberal Democrats parliamentary candidate, Sue Doughty, has challenged the borough’s Conservative MP, Anne Milton, to publicly state where she stands on the debate.

Doughty’s challenge appears fruitless; considering next year’s announcement of the review. However, the Liberal Democrats promised to abolish fees in 2005 and the party remains consistent with its stance on student finance. Doughty added: “Many students at Surrey are struggling during the recession due to the difficulty to find part-time work. Guildford also presents them with some of the highest living costs in the country.”

The Lib Dems candidate said, “Anne Milton was elected in 2005 on a promise she made to students at the University of Surrey that she was against a hike in tuition fees. Since her party decided to agree with the hike, she has been silent on the issue. Now that the Conservatives are not ruling out increasing them, it’s time that she got off the fence and told the truth to students whether she supports an increase in tuition fees or not.” Earlier this month, Conservative and Labour representatives agreed to a review which will categorically outline the next government’s stance on tuition fees. This review will be released in Autumn 2010. However, it is already speculated that from 2012, students can expect to pay more for university courses. This helpless acceptance from the student community was cemented when business secretary, Lord Mandelson, announced his support of variable tuition fees: “Variable tuition fees provide institutions with a secure income stream worth £1.3bn, helping to sustain the long-term financial health and viability of the

The Liberal Democrats were elected to Guildford in 2001 and Sue Doughty became the borough’s first woman MP, as well as the first non-Conservative MP in nearly 100 years. In 2005 though, the Conservatives won back the position in Guildford by only 347 votes. Surrey students represent a critical group of voters for candidates in the next election. And in reaction to their narrowly lost 2005 campaign, the Liberal Democrats are keen to announce their position on tuition fees. Therefore, Sue Doughty’s call for Anne Milton to publicly announce her stance seems appropriate and important for the benefit of students studying at the University of Surrey. Doughty also said: “It is so important now more than ever that we identify ways of helping students get through financial difficulties. It is simply not acceptable to ignore the problem.”

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“This is Halloween...This is Halloween! Pumpkins scream in the dead of night”

Alas, once again my favourite time of year has come and passed us by once again. And for those of you wondering, no, I’m not talking about the deadline for our first essays (just how nerdy do you think I am?!) but Halloween. Ahhh yes All Hallows Eve, the night of Samuin (summers end) the beginning of the ‘darker half’ of the Celtic year when the spirits of both darkness and light are able to pass from the ‘Otherworld’ into ours blah blah blah. When young children throw on old bed sheets and perform poor Casper the friendly ghost imitations for the night to get their hands on free chocolate. Also better known to us students as one of the best nights to get inordinately trashed and throw etiquette out the window along with normal forms of clothing. Because, after all, what happens between batman and the undead nurse behind the library stays strictly in costume right? But this isn’t the only reason why I get such a kick out of Halloween; there are so many others I could go on for hours. Like when else are girls going to be watching the ten greatest horror films in history to get fashion ideas for a night out? I can also pretty much guarantee this will be the only time people will consider buying a pumpkin, just for the sheer enjoyment of carving the scariest face possible out of it. Collectively, I adore Halloween because to look your best, people never spend so much time on looking terrible! Even weeks before the 30th my siblings were taunting me about how their Jack-O-Lantern was so much better than mine was going to be. Of course my immediate and mature response was to drop everything and automatically start plans on the most demonic Jack-O-Lantern design that had ever terrified the face of this earth. The same can be said about costumes, I must admit it was annoying that the postal strike fell on the Thursday before Halloween. Still, I doubt there was a single fake eyelash left in the party shop on the high street. So most peoples’ costumes were ready way in advance. Unless of course you’re one of those girl’s whose ‘devil’ costume consists of a slutty red dress and a pair of horns. To those I say shame on you. Go find some fake blood, draw on a moustache and don’t you dare come back until you look like Lucifer spat you out of his pit personally!

drivers that had to deal with the inebriated zombie hordes that descended upon bus routes surrounding campus to reach the union. I myself (deciding to be sensible and not rely on a bus to make the union before eleven) chose to walk there; though in retrospect that may not have been the most sensible idea. Considering my outfit it was a good thing I didn’t run into too many people in dark allies for their sake. This followed by visions of me attempting to explain to the arresting officers exactly why some elderly woman beat me over the head with her umbrella before hopping a fence (without sounding like a rubbish mugger). Anyway when we eventually all reached campus, everyone’s usual thoughts of “ugh great, queueing” appeared. Yet this presented a new positive outcome from Halloween. If you get bored it’s always possible to strike up a conversation when in costume. You’d be surprised how fast time flies waiting to get in when you’re discussing with a guy dressed as the jigsaw doll queue lengths and judging by the girl dressed as some sort of leopard in front, just how little clothing you need to be considered ‘wearing’ a costume nowadays. The answer would appear to be not a lot, not that we were complaining.

Campus Boy

On top of this I wanted to offer my commendations to those who really did go out of their way to dress up. Every year I still find myself marvelling at the new and even more imaginative lengths people have gone to come up with the most kick ass costumes imaginable. Of course, to remain inconspicuous I shall not be revealing my oh-so-awesome costume to you all, although I did see some that most definitely deserve mentioning. Of course, for a celebration of this size, a large pre-drinking house Including The Master Chief from Halo, Lion-O, The best Jason X I’ve seen, party was inevitable. Enter numerous (and far too seriously considered) Undead Cinderella, Zombie Fred Durst plus Sonic and Knuckles. Also I’d conversations as to who exactly would come out on top in bouts between like to mention a couple of unusual entries even by my standards. Due to popular imaginary characters. These included “Who would win in a fight? my questionable level of sobriety towards the end of the evening, I can’t Satan versus Harry Potter?, The Headless Horseman versus Sweeney fully vouch for my account. However, if there were two guys dressed as Todd? And Matilda versus Corpse Bride?” (That’s Roald Dahl against a giant rainbow and a head coming out from between a pair of inverted Tim Burton.) I mean that Matilda chick might be small, but surely she legs *shudder*, I take off my hat to you guys. could levitate something heavy onto the Corpse Bride right? This along with various cheesy tunes on the iPod speakers. Whilst amid the heated So another Halloween down and the havoc would appear to be over for arguments of which TV show theme song goes on next, it was hilarious another year. Although I do wonder if any new dark spirits are around to view the usually normal sight of girls surrounding the mirror and campus. Perhaps Campus Boy needs another side career in exorcism. ‘touching up’ each others make up, with the unusual additions for the Thoughts? Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed themselves as much as I evening of applying each others dried blood and making sure the hair did. Until next time. has enough hairspray to attain that ‘freshly dug-up cadaver’ look that all aspiring zombies are going for. One can only imagine the poor bus C.B.

SPLASH/Royal Literary Fund Fellow

Sometimes you need a second opinion on that essay; sometimes you need to talk your way through an argument or a longer piece of writing.

bit clumsy. They can show you how to sharpen your style and say exactly what you mean. The scheme’s funded by cash made by the RLF from  Winnie the Pooh.

As essay deadlines loom, she’s going to get busy. Drop in with any writing related questions and Jackie will book you a longer appointment if you need one

For the last 10 years the Royal Literary Fund has been putting writers on campuses around the UK to help students - postgrad as well as undergrad - with all aspects of their writing.

Jackie Wills is the Fellow at Surrey.  She’s based in SPLASH within the Library and is in every Tuesday and Wednesday during term-time. She’s a poet, editor, tutor and journalist. She sees students one to one from 9 each morning and offers drop in sessions as well for an hour at 12.30 on a Tuesday and 2.30 on Wednesday. You need to book to see her and it’s best to email j.wills@ surrey.ac.uk.

Jackie Wills, Royal Literary Fund Fellow www.surrey. ac.uk/Skills/splash/students/rlf.htm

Fellows can help students make an essay clearer or structure an argument. They will share tricks of the trade, like how to cut words to make the required length, why it’s worth reading aloud to identify where the writing’s a

www.rlf1to1.net 01483 683567 Tuesday 9-6, Wednesday 9-4

Plagiarism: The Facts

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Coursework deadlines are approaching fast and it won’t be tutors whether or not you plagiarise accidentally or on purpose, long before everyone will be battling with piles of books and the crime is the same and the punishment no different. online journal articles, researching the endless possible ways to If you are worried that you do not understand what is and is not approach complicated coursework questions. acceptable practice, refer to the information provided on Ulearn, Have you ever had to think quite so much about the subtle speak to your tutors and check your course handbook. The Ulearn differences between the words ‘discuss’, ‘evaluate’ and module contains a 15 minute tutorial explaining plagiarism and ‘demonstrate’ before? I didn’t think so…but now, your weeks will how to avoid it. 15 minutes well spent. The Ulearn module also be dominated by words (or numbers, for some of you), and putting enables you to access ‘Turn-it-in’, a piece of software which those words or numbers together so that all of your studies pay you can access, send your work through the system and have it off and you end up in a great position for your January exams. returned to you with your work highlighted where it corresponds to other sources. As you sit there, typing frantically away on your laptop, formulating your arguments into coherent sentences, how often do you stop What happens if you are accused of plagiarism? If the person and question whether or not the words you’re using have ever marking your work suspects plagiarism, they will pass your work been said, (or even nearly said), by someone else? to an Academic Misconduct Officer, who will check it thoroughly to see if there are any questions which you need to answer. If the We hope you will have heard the word ‘plagiarism’ before now, misconduct officer suspects plagiarism, you will be called to an and been told what it means, but for the benefit of people who Academic Misconduct Panel. This sounds serious for a reason sit at the back of the lecture theatres, or who might have missed – it’s a formal panel, and if you are found guilty of the offence it that bit after a study-related injury, here is the full breakdown of can have real consequences for you as a student. what plagiarism is, how it can be avoided, and what happens if you fall into the trap. In the panel, members of staff from your department will explain where you have gone wrong, asking you questions about your Plagiarism is academic cheating. It means “take (the work or idea sources. You will get the opportunity to provide an explanation of someone else) and pass it off as one’s own” (www.askoxford. and ask questions. You also get the opportunity to bring a com, accessed November 2009). Even if your source is credited representative or supporter with you – the Student Union in your references or bibliography, you could be committing provides this service to students – contact your Vice President plagiarism. In basic terms, if you write down someone else’s words for Education, Nick Entwistle, on [email protected]. (whether word for word or not) without indicating that the words are quoted from another source by the use of quotation marks, you are cheating. It also doesn’t make any difference to your

Plagiarism: The Consequences 1st Offence – if this is the first time you have been accused of plagiarism you normally will be awarded 0% for your work. You may have the opportunity to resubmit the work (if the module is failed) but your resubmission will be capped at the pass mark.

Students who are found to engage in ”contract cheating” (securing the services of another person to do your work and then submitting it as your own) are committing an act of fraud and are likely to be terminated at first offence.

2nd Offence – second time around you will be given 0% for the work, but you won’t get the opportunity to resubmit. If, as a result, your course at Surrey would be terminated due to a lack of credit, and you would normally have been entitled to a resit attempt, you could be permitted to resubmit the coursework for credit only.

Plagiarism is serious business – so while you are working on your coursework make sure you do everything you can to organise your research and make a note of all your sources, otherwise you risk getting caught out and never seeing the results of all your hard work.

3rd Offence – your programme at Surrey will be terminated.

If you have any questions about plagiarism or other academic misconduct issues, contact [email protected]

[email protected]

9 whose works I recognised from my research in the lab. It was amazing to get a first hand look at the forefront of today's research, which might one day contribute to life-saving medical advances”.

Placement Experiences By CoLab

“My placement gave me a valuable insight into the British media industry. Working at Pinewood studios, I was able to contribute to several BBC TV dramas, alongside production of some of the year's biggest blockbusters. I'll never forget the sight of a busload of extras in full medieval costume comparing iPhones”.

The University of Surrey is well known for its Professional Training Year and in the current economic climate there are a number of good reasons to undertake a placement. Whether you want to gain valuable work experience, to try out a specific career sector or to delay your graduation by another year, there are a wide range of placement opportunities out there whatever sector you’re interested in. And don’t be fooled into thinking you can only work in the UK! There are currently students working in countries such as France, Finland, America, Australia and <…..>.

“I’m constantly surprised by the things I find myself doing for my placement. One of the most memorable so far has to be when I found myself busking on the high street with a group of people I’d only met a few hours before. Life doesn’t get much more surreal than that!”

Placements can provide unpredictable opportunities and experiences that you would never have thought possible, whether they’re work related or not! The following examples depict just a few of the experiences Surrey students have had. “I've had my graphics used on the Microsoft UK homepage for the Windows 7 launch and been able to play a role in a number of key campaigns. I've also been incredibly lucky and had some great perks, from watching England World Cup Qualifiers, Jay-Z and Coldplay at Wembley, to England v Australia at Twickenham”. “I went to a conference at the top of World Trade Center Tower 7 and met a bunch of really influential people in the field my lab is based in. It was a surprise for me because I wasn't paying attention to the address and then I turned up and was escorted to the 40th floor, with these stunning views across Manhattan. It was quite a small conference, only about 200 people in total across 3 days, and so it was easy to mingle with everybody. I was introduced to several of the main speakers,

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With third years having just returned from placements and second years currently looking, this is a great time to share your experiences! We have a discussion board up on the CoLab website where you can post your stories or just have a read of other peoples! www.co-lab.eu

Have you ordered your NUS EXTRA Card?

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“Working for an Non-Governmental Organisation has been a great opportunity to see how society can take action and stand up for global justice. A working week for me usually includes dressing up as SuperBadger-the mascot for our online campaigns, and in December, I have the opportunity to go to Denmark to see firsthand the UN Climate Change negotiations, where world leaders will try to put together a global deal to protect the world we live in from the effects of climate change. There's never a dull week in my placement!"

Don’t forget to collect it from the Students’ Union Reception Desk!

A Day in the Life of.....

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the VPs

Who are the VPs and what do they do?

NICK ENWISTLE VP Education Making sure that the quality of our education is the best. Responsible for course, fees, resources, finance and educational development. Also overlooks all training for academic reps of courses. A direct representative of students to the university.

09:00

Come in and check emails, respond to any urgent issues and prep for meetings that day.

10:00

10:30 – 12:30 Weekly Finance and Opps Meeting: meeting with senior management including commercial, HR, marketing directors and membership services director. Includes all 5 sabbaticals discussing financial and operational functions.

11:00

12:00 13:00

MALCOLM HUNT VP Welfare Represent student needs in welfare and wellbeing. Trying to make sure that the student experience is better and enjoyable for everyone. Direct contact with university regarding your university experience and how to make it better.

LISA SHAH VP Societies Responsible for all societies and their running including AGMs, budgets and sponsorships. Making sure all societies work together. Managing handover of committees and arranging the IGala is one of the priorities of this year.

CHRIS MOFFATT VP Sports Dealing with all sports clubs and teams. Managing AGMs and electing new committees, organising Colours Ball and making sure that it runs smoothly. Also oversees all the distribution of the funds, sponsorships and fund raising events.

10:00 – 11:00 Disability Advisory Forum

12:00 – 13:00 Student Parents Meeting

13:00 – 14:30 Student Experience: Working Lunch: meeting with senior management regarding how to make the student experience better.

14:00 15:00

15:00 – 15:30 Meeting regarding water issues in library.

16:00

15:30 – 16:00 Student Fine Levels: talk about fines regarding student residences.

17:00

BBC Interview: Calling for student representation on the Higher Education funding review

18:00

Meeting with James Newby: Arriva buses and timetables.

14:30 – 16:00 Paperwork for AGMs, updating database and catching up on emails and society standings. 17:00 – 19:30 AGMs and officiating new committees.

14:30 – 17:00 Making voting cards for the Sports standing meeting later. Organising membership lists and going over points to discuss.

18:00 – 19:30 Sports Standing

19:00 20:00

Aims

Home

•

• •

Create a better higher education funding system. Empower students to achieve this and make it sustainable. Make students aware of trade unions, professional legal help and support. Help make the students and lecturers work together – strong relationship essential.

• •

Go and try a different sport, possibly badminton. Listen to students Welfare issues and improve service provision. Reach out to more students than ever before and make the Union more important in students lives by making them aware of services and help we provide in terms of Welfare.

• •

•

Have a smooth AGM handover for new committees. Organise I Festival which includes the I Exhibition and I Gala. Make sure all societies work together and in sync with each other.

• • •

Make sure the handover to new sports facility goes smooth as far as students are concerned. Organise Colours Ball. Find sponsorship and funding for our sports teams.

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España

What comes to our mind when we think of Spain? Bull fighting, flamenco, paella, jamon Serrano… The heat, oh yes the Spanish heat, not just the weather but the people. Mediterranean, fiery tempers, loud, warm, affectionate and vulgar. Both the people and the country can be described this way, and not in a bad way, no not at all. But this heat adds to Spain’s passion and patriotism that draws you in. Like in many countries of the world, Spain’s cities and villages are so different to each other both scenery-wise and culturally, mainly due to its geographical location. Therefore in this issue, I will be writing about Spain’s capital, Madrid, as it is not fair to generalize a country especially one as diverse as Spain. Madrid is one of the more traditional cities in Spain. Its architecture reeks of Spanish history and shows how old and beautiful the city is. In my opinion Madrid is a perfect example of ‘old Spanishness’. Walking around Madrid is like a history lesson; every part says something to you and history is preserved in its people and places. Puerta del Sol is a perfect example of this. Puerta del Sol is in the heart of Madrid. It is a historical district filled with old amazing tapas bars, theatres, shopping and street performances. It is situated next to one of Madrid’s main attractions, the Plaza Mayor where one can have their picture painted. Stay away from the pretentious Spanish food there though, since tourists are overcharged. If you go to Madrid, be sure to explore Puerta del Sol as it’s by the main shopping locations such as Gran Via and El Rastro (a market they have every Sunday). To me one of the main problems I come across when I go to foreign countries is finding some genuinely good food, not tourist crap. Always look for the holes in the walls, the little hidden restaurants with their vintage charm and traditional food. Juana la Loca is one the best restaurants in Madrid, with some amazing tapas and the best Spanish tortilla that you’ll ever have. It is situated in one of the oldest neighbourhoods in Madrid, La Latina (right above Puerta del Sol). But remember, in Spain, restaurants close for siesta - nap- time - from 3-5pm. Dinner is usually at 9pm, and clubbing starts at midnight.

‘We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we stand And know the place for the first time’ - T.S Eliot, 1942 When you go to another country it is important to respect their ideology and way of life, so immerse yourself. But it’s also about having fun. So if you want to club, be sure to check out Pacha or La Reina Bruja. If you are looking for something posh however, check out Buddha. However if you want to do something a bit more Spanish, for example, eat some queso manchego, jamon Serrano and watch some flamenco, you must go to Casa Patas. This is an old Spanish restaurant where you can enjoy some good cuisine and then watch some breath taking flamenco performed by real gypsies. So get off your asses people and explore. I’m going to Madrid this reading week with some close friends and the ticket was only £40 return! Stop making excuses; I’ve just given you some sound advice so run with it! Peace. by Elizabeth Pettigrew

The Official BUCS Charity ‘RIGHT TO PLAY’

RIGHT TO PLAY is an athlete-driven international humanitarian organisation that uses sport and play as a tool for development of children and youth in the most disadvantaged areas of the world. RIGHT TO PLAY programmes aim to improve the lives of children affected by poverty, war and disease. They work closely with communities to set up sport and play programmes designed to teach important skills including leadership, teamwork, conflict resolution, self-esteem, communication, commitment, respect and fair-play. The network and infrastructure we set up enable local communities to take ownership of the programmes, leaving a long lasting impact. RIGHT TO PLAY uses sport and play programs to build local capacity in four strategic areas: 1. Basic Education and Child Development 2. Health Promotion and Disease Prevention 3. Conflict Resolution and Peace Education 4. Community Development Interesting Facts: • RIGHT TO PLAY are partners and the preferred charity of BUCS (British University & College Sport), Chelsea Football Club, Team Columbia - HTC and Royal Parks Half Marathon. • Athlete Ambassadors include Lance Armstrong, Mark Cavendish, Joe Cole, Alistair Cook, Michael Essien, Haile Gebrselassie, Mark Hunter, Salomon Kalou, Frank Lampard, James Haskell, Zinedine Zidane and Free-Running founder Sebastien Foucan. • RIGHT TO PLAY currently work in 24 different countries including the UK. Azerbaijan, Benin, Chad, China, Ethiopia, Ghana, Indonesia, Jordan, Lebanon, Liberia, Mali, Mozambique, Pakistan, occupied Palestinian territory, Rwanda, Sierra Leone, Sri Lanka, Sudan, Tanzania, Thailand, Uganda, United Arab Emirates and Zambia. • RIGHT TO PLAY help over 720,00 children each week with their programmes. • 1,500 children were vaccinated over a three-day National Immunization Campaign to fight the spread of measles in Uganda through the help of RIGHT TO PLAY. • Your change can make change - just £25 can give a child a year’s worth of regular, twice weekly, participation in RTP activities. And with a uk-wide network we can really make a difference – together we are many. So why not become a Student Ambassador, gain experience and have the satisfaction of having helped thousands of children across the world. Try and get involved with the exciting things that will be happening at the University of Surrey and with ‘Raising and Giving’. Join us next year for the London Marathon or London to Antwerp bike ride where we’ll watch the Tour De France! Help RIGHT TO PLAY achieve its mission to have over 1 million children on regular in RIGHT TO PLAY programmes in 2012.

For more Information about the charity: ‘Let’s make a difference’ Be Part of the Team, become a student ambassador. For more information please contact Trung at: [email protected]

www.students4righttoplay.org.uk www.righttoplay.org.uk www.facebook.com/righttoplay twibbon.com/join/Right-To-Play

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! 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.

10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22.

Grey Studded Bow Back Ankle Boots, £25 Black Wool Blend Overcoat, Forevor 21, £24.41 Miso Floral Long Vest Top, Republic, £19.99 Torque Chains, Forever 21, £7.85 Black Rock Facet Studs, Dorothy Perkins, £9 Pearl Bangle Set, New Look, £8 Black Frilly Umbrella, Miss Selfridge, £10 Ziptastic Corsage Brooch, Mansoon, £8 Helena Rubinstein Lash Queen Feline Blacks Mascara Waterproof - No. 01 Deep Black, £20.86 Cut-Out Booties, Forever 21, £15.21 Jeweled Zip Front Skirt, Forever 21, £13.98 Grey Lace Cup Corset, Topshop, £28 Artisat, John Varvatos Parfum, Sephora, £47 VANS Box Mens Flannel Shirt, Tilly’s, £21.49 Charcoal Superman T-shirt, Peacocks, £8 Pom pom Hat, Gap, £11.97 Lowlife Belts Lowlife Gems Mini Studded Belt, CCS, £15.35 Men's Shawl-Collar Cardigans, Old Navy, £30 VANS Authentic Womens Shoes, Tilly’s, £25.77 Grey Stretch Skinny Jean, Topman, £30 Faux Leather Shoulder Bag, Forever 21, £15.29 Large-scaled plaid scarf, Gap, £15

It’s been almost a month since school started and we are all struggling with assessment deadlines and coldly autumn days, but even though temperatures aren’t so friendly at least we can say that the fashion forecasts looks quite good. I know that one of the biggest events of the year, Halloween, just passed, but still I definitely think that we can continue wearing the best costumes every day, right? Wear moody blue hues but do not forget about the season’s most dazzling thing, the sequins. Take some over knee sexy boots and you’ll definitely be “the bomb”. And the most important thing is “be classy and fab”, as Coco Chanel was saying. But, if you are a man, well then things are different. You’ll look absolutely great wearing plaid shirt and a sob sober suit jacket. However, I have to say that I felt in love with louche co co-respondent shoes. They are absolutely awesome!








13

Facebook

Facebook. The very pinnacle of student life some would say – the cyber-band connecting us all, with our never-ending variety of backgrounds, interests, tendencies, beliefs under the umbrella of ‘student’. To meet with a new acquaintance who doesn’t have a profile is shocking, and evokes a kind of snobbish bafflement as to how this is possible. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone is registered, and there exists a minuscule, dying minority who have chosen to shun it. However, most of us equated uni life with Facebook the very moment we became a fresher, and this is a trend not just confined to students, or for that matter, the young.

We may all be familiar with keeping one eye at the back of our heads to anticipate the boss catching wind of us updating our page; the very fact that we do this suggests an awareness of “appropriateness” around usage. We are usually intelligent enough to work out that our corporate superiors don’t need to know how many shots we downed last night or the ins and outs of our personal tragedies (break-ups and Facebook = horrendous status updating) but what many of us didn’t count on is the increasing intrusion into our internet use in our personal life.

As students, we already have to allow a certain level of control as a pre-requisite for being able to Facebook and other social networking sites use ResNet. There are forbidden activities such such as Bebo, Twitter and MySpace have as downloading unauthorised programmes that become synonymous with communication in affect how we make use of the internet that the this day and age. To our sheer disgust, some of uni provides for us. However, this could be the us are logging on to be confronted with a friend least of our concerns... request from our Dad, our Aunt, our Gran if we’re lucky. Sites such as these have become, The Home Office have announced plans to the especially in the last five years, an increasingly tune of £2 billion that will require communication “essential” mode of connecting with our firms, such as internet and phone providers, nearest and dearest; for many of us usefully to monitor their customers’ use of social sidestepping issues of money and time. Instant networking, online chat and gaming. In the gratification...a next to immediate response in face of opposition, the government has been quick to point out that it is not the content of an age where time has become money. communications that will be stored but simply In this vein, the realm of social networking who has made contact with whom and when. has branched out to the workplace. Employers Minister David Hanson has deemed the plans are awakening to the inevitability of employee as “crucial to the fight against crime”. We, the procrastination using this tool, and have public, are told that this monitoring is essential combated this from various angles. Whilst to the (some would say borderline obsessive) some firms have now had to revise Acceptable cause of weeding out terrorist plots, amongst Use policies to encompass a perceived threat other crimes such as drug trafficking and to productivity, others are embracing the paedophilia. opportunity for beneficiary use. However, whatever side of the battle companies fall into, Of course, it can be argued that those who have nothing to hide have nothing to fear or object the issue of surveillance is a constant theme.

to. If one is using the internet in a law-abiding, tasteful fashion, then what is there to get stroppy about? Well, for one, yet another infringement of our supposed right to privacy. Endless books and studies have pre-empted and thereafter opposed the “nanny state”, and in a country where the average citizen is captured on CCTV 300 times a day, it would now be naive to maintain the view that we by any stretch of the imagination lead a life uninterrupted and free. What repercussions does this policy hold for the average student? Well, like anyone else out there, we too have the right to conduct our personal lives (within appropriate reason) in a separate sphere from the state. Now, it would be true to conclude that even at this very moment in time, we quite clearly are not afforded this luxury in most arenas any longer; the government’s gaze and power is already enforced on the nation’s financial status, family life, sexual conduct, freedom of speech...the list could go on. But - and this is a big but (no pun intended!) – is it not crucial to at least attempt to prevent yet further compromise of our privacy? No, the Home Office are not aiming (and I do, despite appearances, believe them on this one) to do anything other than what they feel is a necessary step in post 9/11 crime prevention, but the philosophical and social questions this raises about our rights to not be monitored and scrutinised in what should be very mundane, everyday aspects of our lives, is surely food for thought?... by Vicky Jones

Just A Thought

Does reality exist, or is it merely one’s own perception of how they recognise the world using their five senses? (Or six for those who claim to be of the aesthetic kind.) Maybe Neo isn’t the only ‘Chosen One’.

to reinforce the public that what’s presented is real? Are they really meaningful? Let’s use one of my favourite artists as an example…

death or a symbol of the female genitalia – but let’s not go down that route! The reason for the death notion is that Dali had an experience of finding his pet’s corpse covered in ants! (True or False?) Therefore one’s experience can relate to their expression and how one perceives it, is the person’s own reality. Reality can be justified, but only through your own beliefs. For instance, what you’ve just read, for some of you, could be complete and utter bull****! Hmmm… So is reality what your five senses perceive or how you process the perceptions...Because it’s different with every single individual…so there is no actual reality! True or False?

Salvador Dali (1904 – 1989) expressed Symbolism in his paintings, providing visual At this moment in time, while reading this, you images of objects or figures, which internalised could be eating, relaxing in the lounge or the the human mind and the world around it. The library, or even sitting on the bog - but what is ‘soft’ clocks in this painting, suggests Einstein’s it that we do to make us ‘think’ that something theory of time being relative and not fixed. The is what it is? clocks appear to be ‘melting’ which derived from one of Dali’s twisted dreams of Camembert Each and every single l e t t e r of every single cheese on a hot day; this well-known surreal word in this feature makes sense to you because piece of art epitomises Dali’s ideology of you’ve been trained and have acquired the ‘softness’ and ‘hardness’ during his time; one ability to process them as something with a of his central topics was sexual desires! (True or by Roshni Rao ‘meaning’. Knowledge and facts are known to False?) The orange clock covered with ants at be real, but are they just a perception produced the bottom left, is a symbolic representation of

How space rockets work

O.K, so everyone knows that space rockets are incredibly cool, but how do they actually work? The theory behind them is actually fairly simple. Chances are at some point or other, you’ve played with a bottle rocket, or used a bottle rocket in GCSE Science, and if so, you probably remember something to do with a foot pump, a plastic bottle, and some water. Most modern rockets don’t quite use foot pumps and water, but the principle components are pretty similar.

exhaust of the rocket. In accordance with Newton’s 3rd law, as the mass of gas leaves the rocket, the rocket itself feels the reactive force, propelling it forward. The faster the gas leaves the rocket (the higher m1V1), the more force the rocket will feel, and the faster it will travel.

One thing that may be fairly obvious is that as the rocket fuel is burnt, and matter is ejected from the exhaust, the mass of the rocket itself will decrease. For instance, a rocket with a mass of 100Kg, and 900Kg of fuel, will only weight 600Kg in total after 400Kg of fuel has been used up. Accounting for this when calculating the force on the rocket is not difficult though, especially as most of the time the fuel is burnt in a uniform manner. The equation to calculate change in velocity of a rocket is as follows:

“Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” What this means is that if one object exerts a force on another, sending it in a particular direction, then that object also feels a force of equal magnitude in the opposite direction.

m1V1 - m2V2 = 0 This is precisely the same effect as used in a standard rocket. Firstly, let’s discuss a rocket using combustible fuel. The rocket uses some method to ignite its fuel, normally a controlled electrical spark. The ignition of this fuel causes the material to expand as a gas, just as in any other explosion. This expansion of gas is normally funnelled in some way to increase the pressure of the gas, and thus, increase the velocity of this gas as it leaves the rear

Change in V = Velocity out of exhaust

This is not really any different to a standard bottle rocket. In this case, the mass leaving the exhaust is not gas from an explosion but water, and the exhaust is not a complex network of tubes but a small bottle opening. Now obviously, water does not ignite; instead the energy to expel the water from the bottle comes from high air pressure inside the bottle. As you pump the foot pump, air enters the bottle, and as the volume of the bottle does not increase, the pressure rises. Once this pressure reaches a critical point (high enough to force the bung out of the bottle), the water is expelled and the bottle reacts accordingly. When a rocket takes a shuttle into space, all of these processes happen in pretty much the same way, with a large rocket and fuel tank doing all the work,

UKSEDS 2009

The Surrey Space Society hosted the 21 annual UKSEDS 2009 conference here at the University of Surrey on 7th November 2009. Those of you who were passing through Austin Pearce building on that day might have noticed the starry-eyed boffins admiring spaceship models and whispering “My preciousssss”. st

and the actual space shuttle strapped to the side. Once the rocket reaches sufficient speed to escape Earth’s gravity (24 times the speed of sound), and enters into space, the shuttle detaches from the now empty fuel tank, and continues moving based on external thrusters which also work in the same way as a bottle rocket. Varying Mass

Right, first question that needs to be answered is exactly how a rocket gets its propulsion, what actually makes it move. For this, there’s a very simple principle, Newton’s 3rd Law;

The best example of this in action is with a wheeled cannon on a ship, as the cannon fires, the cannonball is propelled away from it at great speed, however at the same time, the cannon is propelled backwards at a far lower speed. Though the cannon itself moves far slower than the cannonball, the mass of each multiplied by its velocity will be the same, I.E;

14

SEDS - or the Students for the Exploration and Development of Space - is an organization which, well, does precisely what it stands for. The Surrey Space Society, which is just about a year-old now, was quite honoured to be given the right to host this year’s conference for the UK chapter of SEDS. There were multiple talks lined up throughout the day at the conference which saw participation from major companies involved in the field of space exploration and engineering, UKSEDS members from other universities in the UK - even delegates from Russia! The good thing about the conference was that there were talks that were of interest to both people who don’t have a background in this specific subject, and slightly more technical talks for the veterans. For undergraduates / postgraduates working towards a career in this field, a session held by the European Space Agency (ESA) on jobs and placements at ESA was quite popular. ESA also spoke about initiatives started to help university develop satellites of their own (called ‘CubeSats’ because of their size). Clearly though, the highlight of the day was a presentation by Adam Baker from Virgin Galactic; the same company that our science editor Dave speaks of in his article on ‘Space Tourism’ in this issue. Seating space ran out in the hall as almost all of the 180 attendees of the conference descended to look at pictures of the under-development

Where m0 is the initial mass of the rocket and its fuel, and m1 is the final mass. Ln is the natural logarithm, an operator commonly used in physics and mathematics. So ultimately, bottle rockets and stomp rockets work on the exact same principles as the 350ft NASA grade shuttle carriers. Sure, the internal piping is slightly more complex, and the fuel is a fair amount more volatile, but the physics behind getting a rocket moving is still the same. See, not too complex! After all, it’s only rocket science... by Rosh Sellahewa

Spaceport America and SpaceShipTwo. He also mentioned Virgin Galatic’s vision of the future, with cheap personal space flights and - to much delight for many in the audience - cheap satellite launch options specifically geared towards small satellites. Even Surrey Satellite Technology Limited - located on our own campus - are working with Virgin Galactic! The Annual General Meeting of UKSEDS was held towards the end of the conference. Four UniS students, among others, were elected on to the UKSEDS committee: Adam Stevens and Ameen Ali (both Education Officer), Tom Boulton (Treasurer), Sally Roberts (Publicity Officer). To wrap up the day, there was a social gathering of UKSEDS ‘09 attendees at The Living Room; a chance for everyone to discuss their common interests and get to know each other over drinks. I spoke to new and old committee members of UKSEDS, and they have planned quite a lot for the future: ranging from outreach programmes in schools to get kids interested in space at an early stage, long term projects related to space exploration, to new digital magazines. As a veteran of UKSEDS conference told me, “This conference at Surrey is one of the best ones I’ve ever attended.” In case you’re interested in launching balloons to the edge of space, or laughing in the face of Hollywood director Roland Emmerich as you conduct studies into saving the Earth from asteroid collisions, get in touch with the Surrey Space Society at ussu. [email protected] by Ankur Banerjee

15 Five People Who Have Shaped the Future of Space Tourism by David Pugh With space tourism more than likely to take off within our life time, I’m gonna take a look at who we have to thank for even more delays at spaceports, tacky moon souvenirs and having to use factor 5.0 x 1025 Sun cream! Dwight D. Eisenhower President Eisenhower was an active politician from 1950-1961, after serving as 1st Supreme Allied Commander Europe during World War II. He was the president to sign the National Aeronautics and Space Act - or what we would call NASA. This was at the time of the Cold War, and the space race was in full swing and Russia were in the lead. The first man-made satellite, Sputnik I, had been launched by the Russians, and the Americans were not happy bunnies! NASA began operations on October 1st 1958 with three laboratories and a budget of $100 million and a goal - to get to the moon before Russia. It started with Project Mercury, and on May 5th 1961 Rear Admiral Alan Bartlett Shepard, Jr became the first American in space. If President Eisenhower didn’t want to beat the Russians so bad, NASA might never have been dreamt up, I might never have written this article, and you might be doing something considerably more productive right now! Neil Armstrong On July 16th 1969 the Yanks won the second space race and put two of their own onto the moon. Neil Armstrong became the first human to walk across the cold dark surface of the moon. Before NASA Armstrong served as a Navy test pilot and was a qualified aeronautical engineer. So Neil and his buddy Buzz Aldrin went to the moon, they spend a good deal of time collecting rocks and enjoying the relative weightlessness they that they had due to the Moon’s weaker gravitational fields. Then they came home and paved the way for many more manned missions to the Moon and into the great black abyss of space. There is much debate between conspiracy enthusiasts that the Moon landing was a fake. (I’m sure you can find many heated discussions on the topic in various online chartrooms.) I’m not here to confirm or deny what really happened, but the Apollo 11 Mission inspired the world to think bigger and to dream of space! Dennis Tito I know what you’re thinking, who the @%Ω# is Dennis Tito? Well... he is an American engineer. A former scientist in NASA’s Jet Propulsion Lab who gave up all that to start up an investment management, consulting and technology service. He is now worth $1.25 trillion (that’s about £74 000,000,000,000,000,000 give or take) so he’s a little bit rich. He chose not to splash his cash

on designer handbags, antique rugs or filling his house with leather bound books and giving it a rich mahogany scent. He chose instead to become the world’s first space tourist. Tito flew, with Russian spaceship Soyuz TM-32 on April 28th, 2001 to the International Space Station and spent 7 days, 22 hours and 4 minutes up there orbiting Earth 128 times. Since Dennis took his trip (which cost him an exorbitant $20 million) 7 other tycoons have taken their holidays in orbit. And if our next Space Pioneer is to be believed, that number is about to increase, a lot. Richard Branson Sir Richard Charles Nicholas Branson, the almost celestial being of the business world, there are few things Rich hasn’t got a business in. Virgin has over 360 brands ranging from cola drinks to trains. But Branson’s most recent venture is one that’s got quite a few people talking. The Ansari X prize was a competition with a huge prize of $10,000,000 for the first person to launch a non-government organisation, reusable manned spacecraft into space. A very friendly chap called Burt Rutan won, with his design known as SpaceShipOne in October 2004. Mr Branson was in there like a shot; he immediately convinced Burt to part with the designs for his lovely spaceship, and get designing the next one (given the imaginative name SpaceShipTwo) and thus Virgin Galactic was born. Although Virgin Galactic is yet to fly any space tourist out of the sky, you can pre-book your seat (I would if I were you, these tickets are harder to come by than Fetish Night tickets at 2100 on the door!) and these spacemen will hopefully be ready to fly you up in late 2010. So for a whopping $200,000 you too can experience: 3 days of pre-flight training at Spaceport America, 2½ hours of spaceflight at 100,000 km above sea level, going at 2500mph and pulling about 7Gs and when you land you get a certificate and a pair of Virgin Galactic astronaut wings (not actual wings, it’s just a badge, like the ones you got in scouts) So your student loan probably won’t stretch as far as a trip into space, but we can dream, and dreaming the dream is something our final space cadet knows

all too well Buzz Lightyear Buzz is a space ranger from the Intergalactic Alliance and is stationed in the Gamma Quadrant of Sector 4. He is the captain of the Alliance’s Team. Lightyear is known for his bravery and courage. Buzz believes that following rules are the way people should live their life. Though a great leader, at times he can be rather unemotional, one of his biggest character flaws... or so Wikipedia says. We all first met Buzz 14 years ago in Toy Story. A lonely but fearless spaceman, crash landed into a random kids bedroom. Convinced he is the true Buzz Lightyear, he continues his mission. Though he may not have a real fancy laser, or rocket booster jets, he does his best, when everything is up against him. We’ve all seen Toy Story, we know what happens. Buzz sees himself on a TV advert, tries to fly and falls, but he doesn’t give up there! He has a mission to save all of those disfigured toys, those squeaky three eyed aliens and those weird dolls. And he does it. Against all the odds he saves the day and makes it home. He is what every spaceman or woman wishes they could be: fearless, courageous, adventurous, heroic and several other adjectives we would all be proud to put on our personal statement. Buzz is possibly the most important person on this list, because he sums up our dreams, our hopes and our ambitions. NASA’s mission statement is: “to understand and protect our home planet, to explore the Universe and search for life, and to inspire the next generation of explorers.” Who sums up their mission better that Captain Lightyear? NASA agrees so much that in 2008, Astronauts took a Buzz Lightyear action figure with them on the Space Shuttle Discovery, and Buzz was used for experiments in zero gravity. In total Buzz spent 14 days in space, becoming the first toy to do so. If that wasn’t enough, we can all look forward to his welcome return to in Toy Story 3, coming July 2010! So there you have it. In a couple of years when you’re buying tacky moon souvenirs, and washing your space-ship on a Sunday afternoon, give a thought to the people who made it all possible, the scientists and engineers who put in literally billions of man hours into making your space vacation possible. To infinity, and beyond!

[email protected]

16

This Week in Welfare...

on you with a sustained inevitability normally emails from people unhappy with the level of set aside for ‘Mr Brightside’ on a Friday night service Arriva are providing to Manor Park, and to a lesser extent Hazel Farm, residents. – you’re thirsty. You may not realise but the bus route servicing Hazel Farm and Manor Park is subsidised by the University. It is therefore very important that major failings in service quality are reported quickly so they can be fed back to The answer: across the room, out of the doors, Arriva and improvements can be made. There down three flights of stairs, across the foyer, is no way that students should be expected through the barriers, out the doors, along the to spend their cold November nights waiting road, round a corner, along another road and over an hour for a virtually non-existent bus through some more doors. Or maybe you service. could just walk to Japan, it’s shorter. So that’s what’s happening this week in And then what? Having travelled all this Welfare - trying to convince the right people distance I’d expect to be served by beautiful that water isn’t dangerous and that buses people dressed in gold, pouring me my water should actually follow their timetables. out of golden flasks while more beautiful people fan me with palm leaves. But alas no, Moment of the week: Helping design a I am simply served by a slightly grumpy man potential new accommodation allocation called ‘George’ who wants me to pay for my system so there’s less worry about final year housing and acting as ‘Lord Paramount’ for bottle. the Archery club’s tournament at UniSport. How has this come about; a University that prides itself on caring for its every student What do you think? Do you want water to – failing to provide such a simple service in be available in the library and other busy such a busy location? Well it turns out the locations around campus? Have you had bad lovely people in health and safety have an experiences with local bus services? As ever opinion on this. They think water dispensers drop me an email to ussu.welfare@surrey. ac.uk or contact me via my ‘VP Welfare’ are DANGEROUS. Facebook page. Think about it... button pressing, splashing, Until next week... drip trays! People could be killed! So what do you do next? Your gruelling schedule has emptied your normally trustworthy water bottle and you’re in need of a refill. But where do you go for such a thing? Water, one of the most basic building blocks of life. Animals drink it, boats float on it, fountains whoosh it out in pretty patterns. Some cheeky individuals even fill balloons up with it and throw them at unsuspecting passers-by. The ‘Concise Oxford Dictionary’ defines water as ‘a colourless transparent odourless tasteless liquid compound of oxygen and hydrogen’. The ever useful ‘water.org’ adds that ‘In a 100-year period, a water molecule spends 98 years in the ocean, 20 months as ice, about 2 weeks in lakes and rivers, and less than a week in the atmosphere.’ Wikipedia says that water is a small bearded man from Bognor Regis. Water actually makes up about 60% of the human body and is instrumental in a huge number of bodily functions. Not only can drinking the correct amount of water improve your concentration and stave off headaches but it is also vital in other areas such as weight loss. All things considered, water is good. So picture this common University scene: you’re kicking back in the SPLASH centre, enjoying the highs and inevitable lows of your favourite piece of revisional media. Then suddenly, as if from nowhere, you’re hit by that most terrifying of feelings, creeping up

Sigh... And speaking of sighs, the sigh now seems to be becoming an ever present occurrence at our Manor Park bus stops. These last few weeks I’ve received numerous messages and

Malcolm Hunt, Vice President for Welfare, Students’ Union

Would you like flies with that?

by Stephanie Davies

As a new cohort of students begin to venture into the kitchen, it’s important to remember basic hygiene so that you don’t poison yourself and your lovely new housemates. Here are ten important tips: 1. Always wash your hands before cooking. Who knows where they have been? 2. Wash your hands after handling raw meat. 3. Clean your chopping board after cutting raw meat. In fact, it’s better to have a chopping board you keep just for this purpose, and chop your vegetables and salad bits on another. 4. Chicken contains harmful bacteria that will try to kill you - always make sure you thoroughly wash any equipment that has touched it, and make sure any next-day leftovers are heated until they are piping hot.

5. Don’t put a hot dish into a cold fridge or freezer as it will raise the internal temperature. Wait for food to cool down first. 6. Make sure that any food stored in the fridge is tightly covered with cling film or foil. 7. Always reheat food all the way through, and only reheat it once. Separate it into the portion that you think you‘ll need - you can always go back for more. 8. Wash up before things start to grow on your plates. 9. Keep your dishcloth and tea towels clean. 10. Don’t reheat anything with prawns. Prawns are nasty.

Happy cooking!

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Binge Drinking! Party Hard, the story of fun at a cost!

Patrick (not his real name) was having a ball, Saturday night in the union was a welcome break from books, notes and deadlines. Little did he or any of those with him know he would never meet his deadlines! Patrick was out with six friends in the student union where it was two for one drinks, Christmas and end of term were fast approaching. Rounds of drinks and a bit of a boogie followed by a few shots there was nothing unusual about this Saturday night, or so they thought. Patrick’s friends noticed him stumble across the dance floor he looked a bit wobbly but who wouldn’t after an evening on the booze with his mates. Spirits were high, everyone was having a ball. Patrick said he felt ill, he went to the toilet and was sick. He stumbled back out of the gents just in time for closing and was carried back home by his friends. They put him in bed and crashed out themselves after fixing and demolishing a midnight feast of course. The morning came with headaches and stories from the night before. Patrick’s friends thumped on the door of his room and barged in to see how he was and give him a hard time about being sick and having to be carried home. Patrick was found dead having choked on his own vomit. The rest as you can imagine is a grim tale, for his friends and family Christmas without him will never be the same, University will never be the same, the union will never be the same, and in fact life without Patrick will never be the same. Patrick’s death was totally preventable and the outcome could have been so different….if only him and his mates had thought about responsible drinking!

Binge Drinking the Facts

Pace yourself, drink water in between alcoholic drinks.

Binge drinking can be defined as having more than six units in one session for girls and eight units in one session for boys.

If you are looking after a mate and you are worried about them ask for help from a responsible and sober person. Share the responsibility.

Risks of binge drinking include:

Eat before you go out, this soaks up the alcohol and not only stops you getting so drunk but eases the hangover the next day.

Sexual risks such as Sexually transmitted infections, unplanned pregnancy and sexual assault Alcohol poisoning, leading to coma or even death Increased risk of breast cancer in women

If your planning on having more than a kiss, make sure you have packed condoms. Plan how you are getting home before you start drinking and ensure you travel with friends when ever possible.

Erectile dysfunction in men Increased risk of being a victim of violence and or sexual assault Relationship problems Headaches and hangovers Law breaking which can lead to driving bans, fines, police records and even prison.

What to do if you need help Ask Security for help if you have serious concerns about a friend. They will be able to guide you in the right direction should you need more help and call an ambulance in an emergency. See staff in Student Health Care if you are worried about yourself or a friends binge drinking ext: 9051

What can you do to stay safe?

Remember the role of your warden or court life mentors

If you think your mates have had enough get them a soft drink or water

For further advice and information take a look at the drink aware website www.drinkaware.co.uk

Be wary of getting in a round, you may drink more than you normally would just to keep up

Look after each other! You would never want to be Patrick or Patrick’s family or friends and I can promise you that.

Don’t accept drinks from strangers.

Low Fat Tuna Pasta Bake

Top 5 tips for Alcohol

Ingredients:

Method:

1. Know your limits: 3-4 units a day if you’re a man, and 2-3 units if you’re a woman. Drinking twice that much is classified as binge drinking.

Tin of tuna in brine or spring water

Cook 100g pasta according to packet.

2. Make sure you eat before you go out

1 tin tomatoes

Chop onions and peppers into small pieces and dry in a teaspoon of oil for 5 minutes.

3. Pace your alcoholic drinks with water or soft drinks

1 pepper

When pasta is cooked, drain it and put into dish with tuna, onions and pepper.

4. Keep an eye out for your mates, they'll thank you for it in the morning.

portion of pasta

Sprinkle cheese over pasta.

2 table spoons grated cheese

Cook under the grill for 5 minutes.

5. If you are worried about you or your friend's alcohol consumption, come and see us in Student Health Care for free, confidential advice.

A very cheap and easy to make filling meal for even the least experienced cook!

1 onion

Serves 2 or a hungry 1!

Chat Health!

Trouble sleeping? Anxious about exams? Worried about STI's? Want to know how alcohol can be affecting your mood? Want to know more about Cannabis? Want to loose weight? Need nutrition information? Then mail in your questions all in confidence to [email protected] to CHAT HEALTH for your reply in each edition of The Stag.

Things men don’t talk about

18

(Or, why I’ve been growing a terrible moustache)

by Nick Entwistle

doesn’t have to be like this.

I’ve been growing a moustache over the last couple of weeks. I started growing it on Sunday 1st November. It hasn’t taken a lot of effort; I’ve hardly had to ramp up the amount of carbs I consume or seek specialist advice. Still, I’m exercising a lot of self-discipline in keeping it: it looks terrible.

For diseases like prostate and testicular cancer, it’s about being aware of the symptoms and doing something about them. For even more socially taboo illnesses, like depression in young men, it’s about being aware of your mates too. At University you’re likely to live, work and play with the same group of people, you’ll get to know each other quite well. University is also a time when you’re likely to go through some changes in your I am by no means a vain man. Those who know me, know my fashion life - whether they are changes you wanted or not. Men are less likely sense or have seen my handwriting will know I’m not particularly bothered to recognise or acknowledge that they are stressed, and that’s where by aesthetics. Nevertheless, a quick glance in the mirror is enough to you come in. Keep an eye out for your mates. Everyone feels a bit down remind me that I do look like a complete mess at the moment. sometimes, but if that feeling is persistent you should talk to someone about it. And if you’re the person your mate chooses to talk to, take them The most interesting thing about all of this is that if I, a male-grooming seriously. and fashion philistine have noticed this facial travesty, why has no-one else? Barely a handful of friends have commented on it and in my job I So, much like I want people to challenge the silliness of my moustache, can meet literally hundreds of people a week. It’s fairly simple; students I’d like you to challenge your approach to looking after yourself and your and staff at Surrey aren’t unobservant, there are just some things that mates. We have great Student Care Services on campus, including a people don’t comment on. doctors’ surgery and a centre for wellbeing offering counselling and other support services. They’re great at what they do; please use them I started growing my ‘tache because of Movember. It’s a worldwide when you need them. celebration of all things moustache related but it also serves an important role of raising money and awareness of issues around men’s health, Movember is an annual, month-long celebration of the moustache, mainly around prostate cancer and male depression. highlighting men’s health issues, specifically prostate cancer. Movember works towards helping to change established habits and attitudes For a variety of reasons, men’s health can be a taboo subject. We rarely and make men aware of the risks they face, thereby increasing early talk about our own health, and we definitely don’t start up conversations detection, diagnosis and effective treatment. Find it online. about the health of our mates. We access health services less frequently than women, and when we do go to the doctors it tends to be later rather Nick Entwistle is normally clean-shaven and can often be found in the than sooner, making early detection and treatment of common diseases Students’ Union, representing you on academic matters in his role as more difficult. When you consider that on average British women live 5 the Vice-President Education [email protected] years longer than British men this starts to make us look pretty silly. It

Pac-Man’s Wedding Corner

by Andy Vale & Ben Coren

This Week’s Tip: How To Get Into Fights

fan of Pac-Man’s Wedding on Facebook to know when we’ll be struck by generous urges next.

Fights are fun. We all want more but we don’t always know how to get into them so allow us to help. One way would be to start a mosh-pit. Anywhere. Rubix, Lecture Theatres or even the queue at Amigo. Start nodding your head, then start banging it, then begin to violently thrash out and quote your favourite Megadeth lyrics while leaping into people. Someone will definitely punch you. Thus you have started a fight. You could also find large strangers and whisper sexual and violent things into their ear, although this could backfire. They could like you This Week’s List: One Big Secret Comes To and want to indulge in a consenting act of love. Guildford! What was the final secret? That’s next weeks tip. Earlier this year a Facebook group called ‘One Big Secret Comes To Guildford’ was set up. It This Week’s Fact promised a “HUGE, and we mean HUGE” event with international selling artists, top DJs and all On our show we recently gave away a Mega Drive manner of Skins-esque madness up and down with 2 controllers and 7 games (including Sonic, the country. The details of the event were to be Streets Of Rage and SUPER Wrestlemania). If released as secrets when the group hit a certain you missed it then don’t cry because we give number of members. A good idea in theory. away a games console every month. Become a

But the secrets were shit (it will be filmed and put on the Facebook group, 100 free Kanye shades and it was to be 16+. Lame.) The organiser lost their laptop. The event never happened. However it still caught our imagination. The last secret was never revealed to us. What could it be? It was definitely going to be one of these: Wes Brown Farmville LIVE Another 100 FREE Kanye Shades A Dr Pepper Fountain Fingering LIVE 2 for 1 on all soft drinks Name Tags A FREE 1 year subscription to Bebo Sting LIVE @ The Boileroom A photographer from the Surrey Advertiser A Nipple Museum Cleg & Clem Kurt Angle DVD Launch Jedward (oooooooooooh) 4 extra MySpace pics Fighting KISS

19 Halloween Tickets Sold Out Mega Quick, But Some People Were Clever And Got Them For Free by Andy Vale

The O2 and is a big event in the media calender sponsored by Radio 1 and Global Radio (Capital FM, Heart, XFM, Classical FM....) We have We give away a pair of Flirt tickets every Friday between 4-7pm and been nominated in the categories of Best Female for Josie Standbrook, Halloween was no exception. All you had to do was guess the number of and Best Chart Show for Phill Nathan, Bex Wood and Andy Vale. Last people in the queue at Rubix and they could’ve been yours. Next time year we had dance-offs, stage invasions and even moderate success. you miss out, give us a listen and try to win. Also, saying “I won my tickets (Bronze in Best Newcomer for Andy Vale.) on the radio” is a much better story than “I queued in the bookshop for 3 Since coming back from summer we have been inundated with new hours behind a hot girl that I didn’t have the guts to speak to.” talent starting shows. Take a trip to the website (www.gu2.co.uk) to see Speaking of give aways, we now give away a retro games console every our current schedule and find something you’d rather like to hear. If month. Our first was the Mega Drive and for December we are torn you’re not in when it’s on then you can always use our new Listen Back between a NES and a Game Gear - can’t decide. Make sure you become feature to listen to the latest episode of any show. a fan of Pac-Man’s Wedding on Facebook to find out about it. In other news, we are hoping to hold an Anne Summers party at the In late November there is the UK Student Radio Awards. This is held at Union very soon. Look out for updates!

“I’ve Done 3 Years At Uni, Got My Degree and Want A Job In ‘Media’”

Well well well, don’t we all? But getting a job anywhere in the media is incredibly tricky. I often hear old heads in the industry lamenting about the amount of times when some fresh-faced young graduate pops out and tells them that they’d love to get involved with the Media, but they don’t know what they want to do in it and they’ve not got any experience. What this says to people who’ve made a living out of radio/film/TV/press is that here is a young upstart who just wants meet famous people and have a relatively easy life. Not the sort of impression you want to make to a jaded old pro who is very careful about who they give jobs to. University is one of the best places to gain experience in media and student radio has led to full-time employment and exciting careers for hundreds of powerful people in the industry. It doesn’t just look good on your CV - it gives you skills, memories and experience that no amount of CV workshops could ever give. It’s easy to get involved either on or off air; right now we are looking for chatty people to fill daytime slots but there are numerous other roles. One of our presenters, Hannah Pike, has been on a two-week work placement at Absolute Radio, which would’ve been very difficult to get if it weren’t for her involvement with GU2. Another example of where student radio can take you in the very near future is provided here, Kiz Ahmed used his experience on GU2 to get a slot reviewing London’s Dreams on the “Love Bollywood with Raj & Pablo” show on BBC Asian Network. Here is his diary of the day: “I was waiting to go on air with the top BBC Asian Network presenters to review the latest film released from Bollywood superstar Salman Khan ‘London Dreams’. Whilst waiting to be seen I was sitting in the reception chatting with the coolest security guard EVER!! Billy, who is such a dude! Billy was filling me in on his experiences with celebrities who have been in and out over his 10 years on the job. Whilst chatting to the main man Billy, guess who walks in … none other than the top gameshow host, radio DJ, funny man Vernon Kay. He casually walks into the BBC (Radio 1) building, I was going to ask for an autograph or photo but he was on the phone, but he

did look over so I got some recognition.

Anyway I was taken to the BBC Asian Network sets and taken to the studio where I met the top Asian network presenters Raj & Pablo and their editor Rajni from the ‘Love Bollywood’ show, who rub their shoulders with the most famous of A-listers in the Bollywood industry on a regular basis. I was quite star-struck as I’ve been listening to and admiring these guys on the radio ever since I can remember. Once in the studio I see these guys operating with great perfection. I not only admire the excellent studio and the technology that they work with, but also the quality and precision of how the show is executed. When the live interview began, initially I was nervous but these guys Raj & Pablo were so welcoming and made me feel so comfortable, as if I had known them for ages. Also I must say they were hilarious! Furthermore I do believe because of my understanding and passion for Bollywood, I was confident and comfortable in what I was saying. The review I felt had gone very well; I had done my homework thoroughly on the particular movie and feel that I expressed my views clearly with the support from my research. Moreover I do believe that Raj, Pablo and their editor were also very pleased on how it went, which is fundamentally more important to me as my greatest ambition is to present a Bollywood-oriented radio show on a national level, specifically for the BBC Asian Network. This has been even more compelling from the feedback I have received from my peers who have listened to the show. For your local dose of the best of Bollywood, Bhangra and Desi hits along with gossip catch me on GU2 every Sunday from 3pm! “ Listen to us on air: 1350am Listen to us online: www.gu2.co.uk Text the studio: 07575 073 400

Ask Angelique Anything..... Hey everyone, hope you’re all enjoying your time at Uni. I’m your new Agony Aunt. Ask me anything - and I do mean anything - and I will do my best to answer you. You can talk to me about money issues, relationships, sex, drugs, music - whatever you want to. I'll give you the best advice I can possibly think of, but remember - I will say exactly what needs to be said. I won't water it down so if you want someone to be brutally honest with you drop me an email.

Dear Angelique,

Dear Chris,

I’ve got a girlfriend back home but I like someone here. It’s so tempting to cheat on her but I don’t wanna be that kind of guy. I have to admit that the attraction to this girl at Uni is purely physical but I just can’t help myself. Help.

You made the decision when you came here to stay with your girlfriend, either stick to your word or tell her that it’s not working. You sound like you’re in deep with your girlfriend back home so personally I don’t see why you would want to ruin it. You say you don’t want to be ‘that guy’ well I’m pretty sure no girl would want to be with ‘that guy’ so quite simply.. Don’t be. If you’ve got the power to resist then you’ll be one more great catch on this earth, if not.. Well I’m sure you can figure that out.

Chris

Angelique x

Hiya Angelique,

Mr Unsociable Hey Mr Unsociable,

I want a fresh start....

Ok let’s talk serious,

I need your help. Before I came here I had a bit of a reputation and now I’m here I want to make a fresh start. I did everything you could possibly think of and I got ridiculed for it constantly. A few people from my old school came here with me and I’m scared they will tell everyone what I used to be like. What can I do to stop this? Troubled

There are plenty of opportunities for you to make some friends. Have you tried talking to your flatmates? I’m sure they’ll be more than willing to go out, organize something, a night out at Rubix won't hurt. As an international student there are many group events that happen to help you to meet new people. It’s never too late. Take every opportunity you’re given to make new friends. Trust me, you’ll find your way soon enough. Angelique x

Get it off your chest

I don’t want to cheat on my girlfriend

I’m feeling homesick.... I’m a first year international student. I’m having a hard time fitting in with my housemates and I don’t really have many friends out here. I’m feeling a bit homesick, I don’t mean to sound sappy but it’s really bothering me. Can you offer any advice?

20

Welllll, That’s an interesting situation. I commend you for wanting to turn over a new leaf but I’m afraid you can’t keep running from your past. I’m not going to tell you to lie your way through Uni ‘cause there is no point. Think about it. These people don’t know you; if you don’t want them to know all of your business then I suggest you simply don’t tell them. As for the people that came here with you, you should be chuffed that they’re so interested in your life. This is a new start for you all. If you’re really worried that they’ll say something you don’t want them to then maybe you should try having a talk with them. Tell them that you would really appreciate it if they could forget the past and allow you to start anew. That’s about all the advice I can give you. Good Luck! Angelique x

Need someone to talk to? Get it off your chest

Ask Angelique Anything..... Email: [email protected]

Useful Websites: www.connexions-direct.com General advice www.talktofrank.com Drug advice www.childline.org.uk Self harm and Abuse advice www.sextalk.org Sexual health advice

21

Horoscopes

Aries (20th March – 20th April)

they are not acting this way because they don’t have time for you, and it is because you don’t have enough time for them. Just give them a little attention and things will be back to normal.

This week you need to put your thinking cap on and do some catching up and studying. It has been one big party for you since you arrived and it’s about time you took the backseat for a while. If you don’t start now, Libra (20th September – 21st October) you will become agitated and easily angered due to stress. Make a list or go buy a planner, it’s all going to be fine once you have organised Sometimes accepting that you are wrong can be the only right thing to do. Not easy but necessary. Being overbearing is part of your personality yourself. and just taking a step back and letting other people have control can Taurus (21st April – 20th May) do a lot for you. Being a team leader and bringing people together to work effectively is like second nature to you. This week will bring you good news from something which you have been working hard on and you will be greatly praised for your excellent effort. Try not to become too full of yourself and you will be liked as well as respected. Gemini (21st May – 20th June) Rocky times are ahead for you this week, whether it’s with your friends or loved ones. Tread carefully and remember to be level-headed and lend to support to those who need it most. An important decision will have to be made, don’t be too hasty! Things brighten up by the end of the week, maybe a loved one returns or you meet a special someone? Remember, there’s a silver lining on every cloud! Cancer (21st June – 21st July) Your feisty and flamboyant nature can get you into trouble. It’s only sensible to keep it in check. If you like this person, just let them know because acting out like this may get you attention but it also may ruin your only chance at this. Sometimes being calm and looking at situations from their point of view can solve the problem, it may hurt your pride but your relationship will grow.

Scorpio (22nd October – 21st November) Take what life throws at you with a pinch of salt. Not everything has to be the problem-of-the-century; sometimes just letting things be the way they are is the best thing you could do. If you are already in a relationship, it is worth it to treat the special someone to some fancy dinner, “just because it’s November” is a good reason. Sagittarius (21st November – 21st December) Money matters will torment you this week but don’t be disheartened because it is only the beginning of the year and you have plenty of time to stop yourself from getting into overdraft. Be sensible; if you don’t NEED it then don’t buy it. It is as simple as that, self control is vital near Christmas time! Capricorn (22nd December – 20th January) Keeping your wits about you will be crucial this week, it going to be a tough week with emotions running wild. Keep a clear sight of who your friends are and don’t be misguided by false smiles. Work will be a challenging endeavour but determination will get you through this week. Be positive and remember handwork always pays off.

Leo (22nd July – 22nd August)

Aquarius (21st January – 18th February)

You may feel like you are on top of the world this week, but don’t be lulled into a sense of false security. Be ready for the unexpected and stay one step ahead of the game. That said, your personal life will be disturbed by a new character. Don’t judge too freely and keep an open mind. Who knows that person may end up becoming someone special. Love is written in the stars for you this week.

Being level-headed and always being right can be tiring. It’s time you took a break and let you lose control. Just get out there and be the confident, loud and fun person you are, you deserve a break. Just remember to take aspirin and water and you will be good to go the next day. Sweet.

Virgo (23rd August – 21st September)

Pisces (19th February – 19th March)

It’s time to take control of your life and be the person that you want to This week is THE week for you. Not only is stuff looking up studying be. New friendships and beginnings are written in the stars for you this wise but you are drawing attention love life wise as well. A bit of drama week. Try to not lose sight of who you are and keep your mind open to should be expected this week from some close friends but remember - all possibilities. Keep your aims clear because soon you will be making your dreams into reality if you try hard enough.

Surrey Life CHASE Carol Concert

A special evening of musical performances, popular carols and celebrity readings to raise money for CHASE hospice care for children. Tuesday 15 December 7pm Holy Trinity Church, Trinity Churchyard Guildford GU1 3RR Tickets: £15 each including entrance to the post concert wine and canapés reception. Early Bird offer: Book before 23 November and pay just £12 per ticket. Call CHASE Fundraising Office 01483 454213 to book tickets.

The Creative Writing Society

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The Creative Writing Society is for all those interested in writing, from any subject background. We play word games, look at new ways of combining words, write poetry or prose, and of course, socialise. We will have trips to places of inspiration to write. We will go to poetry recitals and showcase our work in a big event at the end of the semester. This really is an opportunity for all those who are interested in writing, and who knows, maybe your work will even appear in The Stag! We meet every Monday at 5pm; the next meeting will be on Monday 23rd November in Wates House. For more information email mk00112@surrey. ac.uk and join our Facebook group ‘Surrey CW Soc’.

ACS Presents:

‘Believe, Hope, Motivate’ by Bakita Kasadha

“I really enjoyed it, I learnt a lot and laughed a lot and it was a October is National Black good evening out. Definitely History Month and to recommend it; I will be back commemorate this, the next year.” - Eunice Njagi Surrey African Caribbean Society (ACS) held Believe I personally enjoyed Hope Motivate, ‘an evening Emmanuel the Magnificent, celebrating black history the acrobats from Ghana who through an array of cultural could wind their waists and performances’. This tribute to balance spinning buckets black history involved many on the end of umbrellas acts including Miss London supported by their chins...now (a children’s TV presenter), who says men can’t multidancing by Dee and Alarpe, task?! songs performed by Cynikal, Seyi and Natalie May, and Charlie’s poems (one written a special appearance from by her and the other by MOBO award winner Victizzle Marilyn) gave an interesting (to name but a few). A classy, insight on ‘Why God Made colourful and vibrant fashion Me Black’. I loved the dancing show - which displayed casual, by Persuasive who popped, evening and traditional outfits locked and did things I couldn’t - alternated between acts. and wouldn’t dream of doing, The evening was hosted by but did thoroughly enjoy. The performances by Seyi and comedian Simply Andy. Cynikal were fantastic (it is “This [night] was excellent. nice to see some home grown Things like this need to happen talent) and they are currently more often; with the Uni in touring England promoting support.” – Ishmael (Vice- themselves. President of ACS 2008/09) It was great to see a collection “Black History Month was one of high-spirited talents the most amazing nights I have from an African/Caribbean experienced. It was a night all background. The ACS reminds black people from different everyone to celebrate countries came together to their heritage, while being celebrate this special month. mindful of the hard work of The organisers of this event their ancestors. We must were bang-on with each appreciate our opportunities diverse talent, especially and place in this world while with the stand up comedy. giving something back to it so The stand up comedy [Simply that in turn, with time, we too Andy] was so hilarious. He will be celebrated. could make us laugh between Well done to the Surrey African every act. ” - Moses Kasule Caribbean Society!

NEW SOCIETY RATIFICATIONS The Societies Standing was held on 2nd November 2009 where eight new societies were approved. These include: 1. The Cheese Appreciation Society - A light-hearted society whose President Jeremy says, “We really like cheese, we like to eat cheese and go to cheese-related places!” 2. Ahul Bayt (aka Shiite/ Shi’a) Society - A branch of Islam. They represent 15% of those who follow Islam and are mainly found in the Middle East and parts of Pakistan.

to help those with their concerns. The society is open to people who are interested in Asperger’s and/or working with those with Asperger’s. 6. Banking, Investment and Finance Society Interested in analysing and discussing financial markets. 7. Engineers Without Borders - Aims to train students to work in developing countries and help with water sanitation. 8. Jazz Band: “For all grades...to develop new skills.”

3. MTO Sufi Society - This is a form of Sufism; a method/discipline to self-knowledge The Societies Editor of ‘The by asking questions Stag’ would like to give a such as “Who am I?” huge welcome to these new societies and hopes they will 4. Saudi Society - Aims be a successful over the next to represent the 150+ academic year and beyond. Saudi students in the University of Surrey. Furthermore, a warm welcome back to the Creative Writing 5. Asperger’s Society - Society, which after some “Run by people with time in dormancy has been Asperger’s, for people revived by Mel Kerrison. with Asperger’s”. This society aims to educate people, eradicate prejudice and would like

[email protected]

23

Do>more Volunteering

Keep an eye out for the society around the University, as we will publicise volunteering opportunities through various media.

Have an idea? Come share your ideas and suggestions with us and we can work with you to make it happen! Whether you want to organise a fundraising event or volunteer abroad, we want to hear from YOU. Whether you are new to volunteering before or do it regularly, we want to hear from you. Do>More is all about providing you with access to volunteering opportunities that will enable you to learn life skills. Do>More also brings opportunities to make friends, have fun and settle into the University and local area. Whether you can spare a month volunteering overseas, an evening a week or attending just one of our events your talents, skills and enthusiasm will make a difference.

English Literature Society Annual General Meeting (AGM)

The English Literature Society AGM was Treasurer – The person who looks after held on 10th November 2009. There the funds and monetary issues. was a good turnout of around 45 people These positions have been filled by but “more 1st years please!” Ollie Latham (President), Sarah ‘Gulli’ The main positions available at this AGM Gulliford (Vice-President/Secretary) were: and Mariam Nasir (Treasurer). Two new positions have been created and filled President - Someone who acts as the face by Kim Harris (Chief Events Officer) and of the society. A general organiser of Kervan Blair Gordon (Freshers’ Liaison events and the first point of call for Officer). information For more info about this society search Vice-President / Secretary – Someone for ‘The English Literature Society of the who creates briefs on what is University of Surrey’ on Facebook discussed at meetings so that they are available to those who could not attend.

Upcoming AGMs Wednesday 25th November – Korean Society 12:00pm, Students’ Union Committee Room Thursday 26th November – Ahlul Bayt Society 5pm, TB01 Monday 30th November – Nepalese Society 5pm, Students’ Union Committee Room Tuesday 1st December - Banking, Finance and Investment 5pm, Rubix Tuesday 1st December – Cheese Appreciation Society 5pm, TB01 Thursday 3rd December – Entrepreneurs Society 5pm, Student’s Union Activities Centre Monday 7th December – Aspergers Society 5pm, Students’ Union Committee Room

Have your say! Run for a position or come along to vote!

How many light bulbs does it take to change a planet?! Hello from the People and Planet Society! We are the Surrey branch of People and Planet, the largest nationwide student network campaigning on global poverty and the environment. Our main aim is to campaign, spread awareness, educate and have FUN (all in the name of making the world a better place). We are a friendly, welcoming group; run democratically without hierarchy. Every member has as much power as everyone else! If you turn up to our meetings* you will learn lots and gain loads of skills such as organising, networking, negotiating, designing etc. Moreover, you will have a chance of meeting many lovely new people. The joining fee is a grand total of £0; so you have no excuse! We are holding two free film screenings of ‘The Age of Stupid’, one of the most talked about films of the year. Ken Livingstone states, “Every single person in the country should be forcibly made to watch this film.” We will be raffling off 10 Fetish night ticket reservations, for the Union, during both the 2 screenings.

Now pay close attention - the first screening is this Wednesday 18th November at 2pm in 01AC01 (opposite Amigos), and the second is this Thursday 19th at 6pm in 02AC01. Entrances to both can be found opposite the bike shed next to Amigos. After each screening, there will be a couple of short speeches, including one from the University’s Sustainability Officers, followed by an organic wine reception with other ethical refreshments. Join the People and Planet Society if you want to make new friends, learn and take action on poverty and the environment! The society can be what you want it to be so come along to the meetings and TAKE PART! * We meet every Wednesday at 6.30pm in TB 20B! For further information please contact Nat Harding on nh00044@surrey. ac.uk Surrey’s People and Planet Society

Stationery and cards Fairtrade gifts University Souvenirs Branded University Clothing T: 01483 Lunchtime Meal Deals, Snacks689169 and Drinks E : [email protected] www.ussu.co.uk/bookshop www.surrey.ac.uk/bookshop Friendly staff will help you find what you are looking for

Opening Hours Monday to Friday Stationery and cards 8.30am - 6pm

Opening Hours: Monday to Friday 8.30am - 6pm

Fairtrade gifts T: 01483 689169 University Souvenirs

Stationery & cards Fairtrade gifts E:[email protected] Souvenirs Branded University Clothing Branded Clothing www.ussu.co.uk/bookshop Lunchtime Meal Deals Lunchtime Meal Deals, Snacks and Drinks www.surrey.ac.uk/bookshop Snacks and Drinks Breakfast essentials Event tickets

Friendly staff will help you find what you are looking for Opening Hours: Monday to Friday 8.30am - 6pm

25

Music

What have some of our writers been Robbie Williams “Reality listening to this week? Killed the video star” Andy Vale / Eels - Eels with Strings: Live At Town Hall (2006)

Released: 9th November

I’ve been having a fetish for Eels lately. Not quite sure what it is that grabs me, the song-writing is exceptional, instrumentation is often interesting and striking and the concert as a whole takes a number of emotional turns before dumping you into a calm place with the optimistic reflective fade-out of Things The Grandchildren Should Know.

While the last two years have been spent holding our breath, hoping that Robbie’s next album isn’t as much of a disaster as the wonderfully slated ‘Rudebox’, It’s time to relax and remember; everyone makes mistakes. Robbie and his ego have returned to form with the ironically titled ‘Reality Killed The Video Star’, and it looks like he’s back. There’s something separating this album from Robbie’s previous releases and it’s down to producer Trevor Horn who’s added a lot more variety and given him the material to show us that he’s a lot more than just an entertainer. From the haunting and enigmatic opening to ‘Bodies’ to the much more personal ‘Deceptacon’ that sounds something reminiscent to the phenomenon that was ‘Angels’. We’re even surprised to hear Robbie give a hand at recreating 80’s electro with “Difficult For Weirdo’s” which edgy undertones give the song a much more contemporary feel letting us know he has actually been in touch with reality all this time.

Recommended Tracks: It’s A Motherfucker, Trouble With Dreams, Girl From The North Country Faye Carpenter / Paramore – Brand New Eyes (2009) Paramore are an American alternative rock band from Tennessee, band members are Hayley, Josh, Zac, Jeremy and Taylor. I particularly like the single Misguided Ghosts on the album, also check out there Kings of Leon ‘Use Somebody’ cover! Available on YouTube. Rich Beddington / Fink - Sort of Revolution (2009) ...because I’ve had many a long, late night drive this week and it’s chill and brilliant. Mark Allen / Tera Melos – Self Titled (2005) Finding this band pretty much out of nowhere, their jazzy math-rock amazes me as much as it confuse me. Insanely complex riffs that fly in and out of time make for some pretty interesting listening. For fans of: Tubelord, Fall of Troy (but not as intense) or This Town Needs Guns Andy Flowers / Charlotte Gainsboug – 5.55 (2006) Loving the downtempo Zero 7/Air style. Its sonically lush and has some heavenly vocals. Perfect for a rainy day.

Without a doubt his greatest success on this album is the much darker ‘Do You Mind’ which achieves a completely different Robbie altogether, giving a Mick Jagger-esque performance in order to create a track far from the pop ballads we’re used to hearing and going back to sounds of 70’s classic rock. Look out for ‘Last Days Of Disco’, his second release of the album, a chorus of violins and a mix of electronics cement the opening line ‘Don’t call it a comeback’ because if anything this is a debut from a completely different artist. by Faye Carpenter

Hail Animator – We Live In Boxes EP Hail Animator hail (see what I did there?) from Leeds, and this is their debut EP. Pop/Rock can get a bit stale sometimes, and it’s clear that these guys are trying to keep things simple, by writing well written, epic-sounding songs. Massive synth lead lines play over lead singer Richard’s Leeds infused accent, whilst solid drumming holds it all together.

the opening track Simple Yet Wise really started to grate on me, as they just sounded out of key to me. Maybe it’s been done for effect? Catchy guitar riffs and creative drum work makes up for it once the song gets going, and there are some great vocal harmonies in the chorus.

the mix. How Are You? is a heart-filled slower number, with great melodic shifts and starting soft but ending with a bang.

Overall this is a great EP, and has some really well written pop/rock tracks. Creative guitar work and simple sing-a-long melody lines are Working is the one I would call a the ‘single’ all at play here, so keep an ear out for these track, as it has all the elements of any great guys. Studying music at University we are trained to pop song. Low key verses with thoughtful vocals analyse songs to the point of almost losing the go crashing into epic choruses seamlessly, by Mark Allen reason or meaning you started the thing in the all supported by a piano tinkling away in the first place. Even if I don’t want to, I’ll notice tiny background. The List has some great riffs in it details in songs, and some of the vocal notes in as well, even bringing some cross rhythms into

[email protected]

Foo Fighters “Greatest Hits” Released: 2nd November 2009 It was about time that this band got to showcase all their finest accomplishments, and since forming in 1995, this album has been long overdue. The two new unheard tracks - ‘Wheels’ and ‘Word Forward’ - will keep fans on their toes while taking a long deserved break. The two CD compilation includes monster hits such as ‘Best Of You’, ‘Learn To Fly’ and suitably titled ‘Big Me’ this definitely sells the band to someone who has yet to hear the incessant talents of drummer, singer and songwriter Dave Grohl. The history of this band lies in this one album where you can hear perfectly crafted rock songs, leaving the band’s 14 year legacy something to be admired. Setting off the album comes the recognisable rhythmic guitar riff of ‘The Pretender’ followed by a personal favourite - ‘Long Road To Ruin’ - which invites even the haters of the rock genre to enjoy something mid-tempo with a far steadier dynamic in comparison to many of the other numbers. Although it seems ages ago since their finest album ‘The Colour and the Shape’ was released (in 1997) the familiarity of ‘Walking After You’ and ‘Monkey Wrench’ stay fresh in the mind long after the songs have finished and we are reminded why the Foo’s have sustained their increasing credibility. The band is praised for being in their element performing live, ‘Greatest Hits’ album is about the closest you’ll get to the intensity of one of their gigs…minus the mud, sweat and beer soaked tees. This album is nothing short of what we have come to expect of Grohl, who uses his guitar to fuse melodic undertones with much harder and edgy components thanks to Goldsmith and Hawkins’s master hand at uncompromising drumming. For a fan, this album finishes off an unblemished collection; for a beginner it’s the introduction to one of the most established bands in music.

by Faye Carpenter

Track of the week... Beat! Beat! Beat! - Fireworks Free tracks for the NME can vary a lot sometimes, but this weeks German indie rockers Beat! Beat! Beat! may have a bit of a strange name, but this catchy track is sure to be heard all over dance floors. It does Sound a lot like Foals though, so we’ll see how it all goes down over here...

Johnny Depp to play Babybird Gig

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Muse Birmingham National Indoor Arena 10/11/2009 Set list, Show, Rage Riffs (Riffs in general), Drum and Bass solo, Intro....

Muse are undoubtedly one of the biggest bands in Britain at the moment and if you use traffic congestion as some sort of meter for popularity (and who doesn’t use this universal method) then they are perhaps the biggest. As I made it across the threshold into the standing area I was fully prepared to let any traffic-related stress wash away and fully immerse myself in a gig that I had been looking forward to for some time. Unfortunately however, the support band for the evening Big Pink did nothing to allay my high blood pressure - to have Muse supported by a drone-pop band when elsewhere in Europe they are being supported by Biffy Clyro seems a bit of a farce. They may well turn out to be the biggest band of next summer but if I have to hear the word ‘Domino’ sung by them one more time, it’s highly unlikely I will make it to next summer. Nevertheless, when the lights did eventually go out for Muse I finally managed to forget about the Vauxhall Corsa that had blocked that box junction for three successive green lights. The introduction featured some haunting music accompanying an endless march of silhouetted people climbing up three arena-sized mocked up tower blocks before the bodies started falling slowly from the top. All the while these three tower blocks retained a small unlit section about halfway up and when finally a cloth cover was pulled from the towers we saw our heroes for the evening stood atop these three plinths, immediately launching in to Uprising. I’d like to say that from then on in it was a total classic, but it appeared that much of the audience was unfamiliar with the new album and it was only on old favourite’s like New Born and Plug In Baby that you could really feel the electricity that you would

Music News....

normally associate with a Muse gig. Perhaps everyone was watching the epic light show and visuals that were tightly and innovatively synced to each song, or perhaps it was that frontman Matt Bellamy wasn’t able to go quite as crazy as usual - instead moving in a very choreographed fashion between a number of plinths. Despite the lack of total crowd engagement they threw in their fair share of Rage Against The Machine riffs, released their giant balloons and jammed massive riffs after Stockholm Syndrome in their first encore - all of which are customary and were well appreciated. The evening came to a climax in the second encore when they rocked Knights of Cydonia and here finally came the electricity and the goosebumps as the crowd sung the refrain in unison before it all finally got a bit messy with that massive ending riff. All in all it was a great gig and featured stunning visuals, Muse’s first ever live performance of MK Ultra and all the standards that make their gigs great. In addition, with a back catalogue as vast as Muse’s there are always going to be favourites that will be missed out. The slight issue of a lacklustre crowd wouldn’t ever stop any true Muse fan appreciating this gig and I just envy the lucky Europeans who get to see them with Biffy.

loves the band is apparently also making an the band at Hoxton Square Bar and Kitchen appearance in the video. London on the 12th of November! Hmm, a once Depp recently directed the comeback video for in a lifetime gig right there, kudos to the 450 Babybird, who you’ll probably know for such Brit pop band Babybird stopped recording in people who got tickets! songs as ‘You’re Gorgeous’ (1996). He was 2000, but reformed in 2006 announcing a new photographed by paparazzi in Hertfordshire album and comeback tour. For one of the gigs by Mary-Ann D’Ambrosio filming on the set. Johnny Depp reportedly Johnny Depp will be playing guitar alongside

27

Air

feel to the album, but it’s still very much in an Air-ish style. “Love” takes a step back and slaps in a traditional Air bass groove over a rather simple electronic bossa nova beat. The lyrics consist of the word ‘Love’ repeated 40 or 50 Many of you will be familiar with the times, but still, it works. breakthrough hit ‘Sexy Boy’, a track from the French duo’s 1998 album Moon Safari. Hooky There are a few off songs on the album. “Tropical downtempo electronica heaven. A decade later Disease” honestly sounds like the soundtrack sees the welcome release of their sixth studio to a 1960’s espionage/detective show, I was album Love 2. half expecting Ironside to wheel into the room. I was left disappointed, both by the track and the Love 2 is a slight return of the band’s Moon lack of a wheelchaired detective. “Night Hunter” Safari style with soaring synths over simple but contains a synth that has a similar timbre to a pleasant key changes with catchy bass hooks. cat being strangled. If it weren’t for this it would “Do the Joy” kicks off the album with new rocky make a decent track, particularly the section intentions and ambient synths. Straight away towards the end. they have gone with a crafted mainstream pop

Love 2

Who: The xx are a two guy (Oliver Sim and Jamie Smith) two girl (Romy Madley Croft and Baria Qureshi) indie/pop band from South West London. They are all 20 years old which is pretty young considering they were given number 6 in NME’s 2009 Future 50 list and from 17th of November will be gigging in America supporting Friendly Fires. The band played at Reading and Leeds Festival ’09 and supported Florence and the Machine in Sept ’09. The band members went to the same school as two members of Hot Chip, Burial’s William Bevan and Four Tet’s Kieran Hebden.

If Air would have kept writing songs similar to their Moon Safari days I would be happier. It’s not to say that this album is bad, quite the opposite in fact, but it just doesn’t achieve any attention like their previous releases. You can listen to Air’s back catalogue and the new release for free on Spotify and We7. 3.5/5 by Andy Flowers

The xx

describes The xx as “nothing less than stunning. background. The xx are after your soul-let them have it.” When: They have gigs in the UK during March What: indie rock, pop. Their MySpace page 2010 and a few in Ireland this December. They describes the bands sound as pop/soul/ new will be going on tour mid November (this year) in wave. Their music can’t be easily defined; it’s The US as a support band; they’re also playing thoughtful, harmonic, different, and pretty some gigs by themselves whilst out there. damn awesome! Most of the album is pretty quiet in a soulful emotional way, including the In my opinion definitely a band to look out for! hushed but thoughtful vocals. I really like the tracks ‘Islands’ and ‘Crystalised’ which can Their album is available now, I picked up my be found on their album. What is unusual but copy from HMV recently for a fair £9.99, and sounds really good is the fact that both Romy it’s an album worth buying! and Oliver are vocalists, as well as guitar The xx formed in 2009, and their 1st single player and bass player, respectively, and duo www.myspace.com/thexx ‘Crystalised’ was released this year, and their in various songs in the album. The understated self-titled album ‘The xx’ was produced by the style of the band and its music reflects in the by Mary-Rose D’Ambrosio band and released in August 2009. The NME simple album covers’ large white x over a black

Dananananaykroyd with Dinosaur Pile Up @ Kings Cross Scala - 27th October 2009 Dananananaykroyd are one of those bands that once you see live, you will want to see them again the next day if you can, because you feel lost without it. These Glaswegian fightindie-poppers know how to put on a live show, and this date was part of their dates around the country, and they had proved extremely popular, with the Scala nearly selling out. Having seen them at Offset earlier this year, it would be interesting to see what they could bring to the audience this time. Sadly, we arrived late, missing Calories, but I’m sure they would have been on top form, so go and listen to them.

the band weren’t feeling on top form, and throwing a Beatles cover into the mix, it felt much more like a low-level warm up act rather than a band up to the height of Dananananaykroyd. They often get rapped for their unpronounceable name, but with the help of Google, just slap some ‘anananan’ in and you’ll find them. Glasgow’s Dananananaykroyd take the whole genre pigeon holing to a new level. Helping to create such genres as Posi-core (PositiveHardcore) or Fight-Pop, they blend screaming and distorted guitars with catchy pop melodies, creating intense but definitely happy music. This gig was a big deal for these guys, particularly in London, a place they do not come down to that often. They made sure the audience knew how grateful they were for the turnout and reception, and it was good to see some genuine appreciation going down.

dancey-jumpy songs like Pink Sabbath got everyone off their feet jumping around. Slipping in little bits of Scottish accent here and there, it’s great to hear a band sing in their accent rather than some fake Texan effort. The fat riff in Infinity Milk even had fans singing along, making David grin a little bit. They paused and interacted with the crowd through the art of hi-fives and handshakes, and even instigated their renowned ‘Wall of hugs’ where people run at each other and embrace. Pretty emotional stuff... Tonight’s performance was tight and energetic, with the whole band enjoying the intimacy of the venue and the huge turnout. In times of despair, these guys know how to make everyone feel better. They put on one of the best live shows I’ve seen, and with two singers jumping into the crowd, your bound to get struck by a pasty and fairly sweaty Scottish man.

I thought grunge had disappeared into the dark and dusty shelves of adults and emo kids, and certainly didn’t expect to hear some here. Dinosaur Pile Up were supporting the lads throughout the tour, and typical fraught with ‘warm-up act’ sound, they played grunge influenced rock to a fairly unenthusiastic crowd with a sound that could be compared to bands Fans were ready to lose it tonight, pulling out like Nirvana or Weezer. Illness had also meant all the stops to make them feel welcome. Their by Mark Allen

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Dance and Theatre...... Calling Dance and Theatre lovers!

• …And lots more! The Stag is delighted to welcome a brand new section to the Arts pages… What’s in it for you as Dance and Theatre! We are writers… now looking for a group of • Free tickets! regular writers for these pages. • Chances to meet and interview the You may be a Dance or professionals in the Theatre student or you may industry just take a real interest in the art forms and would like the opportunity to write for the newspaper. You could find yourself doing the following… • R e v i e w i n g performances • Writing book reviews • Interviewing visiting dance/theatre artists • Taking photos • Researching current debates/ideas/ issues/conflicts in dance/theatre world • Citing interesting articles to be reprinted that you have seen elsewhere in national papers or on the web

CDI Contemporary Dance Initiative Teacher changes!

First of all, thank you all for the great support to CDI! It is lovely to see so many dancers every time. Due to a bad injury, Iris Chan is still not able to dance, and therefore cannot teach the CDI class on The 26th of November

• The experience looks great on the CV

{ Keep an eye on the CDI programme after Christmas though, as she might teach a class then. }

• A chance to write and think about the arts outside your subject of study

However, the class is not cancelled! Sarah Lewis, who is a final year Surrey Dance student, will be teaching the class. Don’t miss out on this opportunity of an excellent contemporary dance class.

• Being part of the Stag team

As usual:

• Getting your name in the paper which is read by over 8,000 people! For more information or if you’d like to send something in for forthcoming issues please email Rachel Gildea (Dance & Theatre Editor) at dancedeskstag@gmail. com Look forward to hearing from you!

Thursday 5pm-6.30pm PATS Dance Studio FREE for all Surrey Dance students 19th of November: Karen da Silva 26th of November: Sarah Lewis 3rd of December: Lucy Teed

I hope to see you there! Julie Havelund, CDI Coordinator [email protected]

ACTUAL SIZE DANCE COMPANY EVENT

‘Your body MOT: Self maintenance and injury prevention through stretching, strengthening, and self massage.’ Wednesday 18th. We are excited to invite Optimum Fitness (based at UniSport) to come in and deliver a self massage session. This is open to all, although there is a maximum number of 16 due to size of space and as they are specialists in a particular field the cost will be a little more at £5.00 each.

A sign up sheet will be up in the Nodus (building “You have to love dancing to stick to it. It gives opposite the gym), upstairs by the space you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, booking chart this Thursday (12th Nov) no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems to be printed and sold, For more information or to find out more about nothing but that single fleeting moment when ASDC please contact Tara Baker tb00029@ you feel alive. It is not for unsteady souls.” surrey.ac.uk. Merce Cunningham

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‘Sense of Self’ Laila Diallo (Bristol, UK) and Melanie Demers (Montreal, Canada)

Having both had impressive careers as dancers – Demers with Ginette Laurin’s O Vertigo and Diallo with Wayne McGregor’s Random Dance, both women have come to prominence with their respective choreographic work. But here they join forces to conjure up the multilayered world of identity. Created between Kenya, Cananda and the UK, Sense of Self has already left its mark on the world. On 28th of November 2009 they came to Surrey… Outside the box ‘People say I’m too humble… People say I look tired… People say I’m magical… People say I try too hard… People say I should read the bible… People say I’m arrogant… People say I’m a desperate romantic… People say I don’t stand straight…’ (Laila. Sense of Self)) Who are we? Who decides, ‘people’ or you? Identity: A deeply complex and problematic subject, full of struggles, contradictions, changes, but Demers and Dialli confronted it boldly. Their powerful duet A Sense of Self left us feeling both moved and disturbed, confused yet reassured, happy but sad the way only a

true masterpiece can.

on the floor, hidden behind the gorilla Immediately, we were plunged into their mask. These layers tormented world as we were met by a figure in we hide behind, do a gorilla’s mask swaying slowly on stage with they console us? fixed gaze following us to our seats; it silenced us. The ‘sad party’ was full of A sensual duet: so lyrical and beautiful. c o n t r a d i c t i o n s , Two bodies moving effortlessly in harmony. bringing the piece Individually: supple and compliant, together: to a close, but in no potent, strong and utterly convincing. Pushing way an end. Black against one another, as if mere contact would balloons sunk not suffice, using the floor to hold them, to down, spilling out contain them. Lying down, rolling, moving across the stage, together as one entity. Moments of rapid and the climatic music became increasingly synchronised movement melted into yielding uncomfortable to listen to: industrial, repetitive, stillness and quiet. cold. Whilst their use of their own bodies evoked resilience, their use props highlighted our helpless dependency on material objects. The high heels, the animal skin, the masks, the box, the cocktail dress represented ways in which we hide behind a façade, dress ourselves up, put on a protective skin to face the world. Demers writhed helplessly on the floor in the supposed powerful red heels, she shook violently in the elegant long dress whilst Diallo smashed plates

Suddenly an explosion. It sounded like a firework, a celebration, but as my eyes met with the collapsed figure whose head was hidden in a box and body was rattling violently within it, I realised it may have been a gunshot. Do we commit a sort of suicide by staying within the box? Sense of Self surely exposed the ‘still sad music of humanity’. (Wordsworth) by Rachel Gildea

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Interview with Laila Diallo and Melanie Demers by Rachel Gildea Your piece is called Sense of Self which investigates the idea of identity. What inspired you to create this particular piece?

from different perspectives. We had a lot of conversations – rich conversations.

work…and family life too!

Melanie: I live in Montreal so I have my Melanie: It was important for us that we made company there - I too have to find a balance it together, that it was a duet….sometimes I feel between living there and working abroad. Laila: We have an interest in the delicate like we are the same person; it’s like looking in Laila: I certainly do have desires to put my questions which surround identity and wanted the mirror. artistic and social preoccupations into an to explore them. We both read a book by Laila: We had to find common ground, the interesting form, to relate them to an audience Amin Maalouf – he talks about identity which is plural, always changing…individuals are playground. Melanie works a lot with props through dance complex things, multi-layered. We wanted to which played a great part in shaping the work. What is dance about for you? explore this. Melanie: It was the first time we’d worked Melanie: It felt natural for us to arrive at this together, we’ve been friend since we were Laila: What fascinates me is that there is such topic. It’s so open and is always evolving. We’ve teenagers and always said we would. We put an inherent capacity to be expressive in the body, to say something about who we are. For been friends a long time, but how do we define our worlds together. me, dance is a constant research. ourselves? How much of identity is from the Do you have any ambitions for future inside and how much is imposed? Melanie: Dance is the medium I chose and it projects? chose me. Sometimes I struggle with it because Laila: Yes…we needed to find physicality to (Both look at each other and laugh) its so ephemeral, but at the same time I can some of those questions. do anything and call it dance – it’s a body on Laila: (To Melanie) We talk about this a lot! (To stage. There is a fine line between total freedom How did the collaborative nature of the choreography shape the creative Rachel) I like doing my own work. The biggest and the vanishing aspect of it… I call it a ‘sad challenge in the future for me is balancing beauty’, just one moment in time… Then it’s process? everything…perfecting that balancing act gone. Laila: Greatly! It allowed us to look at things between making my own things and collaborative

Literature Get those creative juices flowing.... ‘2666’ by Roberto Bolano

‘2666’ by Roberto Bolano is an impressive nine hundred page novel that consists of five sections: ‘The part about the critics’, ‘The part about Amalfitano’, ‘The part about fate’, ‘The part about the crimes’ and ‘The part about Archimboldi’. These parts represent five independent but interlinked novellas, that were originally separate volumes, but after Bolano’s death, the publisher decided to combine all five, which I think does and doesn’t work. Part of the reason that it could work is the novellas do share a common thread – the German writer Archimboldi. The first novella is about three academics that search for Archimboldi, who is a writer of incredible books. These academics travel to a Mexican City called Santa Teresa where Archimboldi has been spotted - this interlinks with section two which is set in Santa Teresa. Although the first fifty pages are reasonably slow, you gradually get into the novel, and the following pages are very readable. Not knowing much about the novel before I started, I didn’t realise that the sections divisions would affect my reading. The change of perspective and character focus in section two and all consecutive sections at first just confused me, and I became almost an agitated reader wanting to learn about one or two main characters, rather than trying to focus on five different ones. That said, once you have read the first thirty pages or so, it is easy enough to get into the certain sections again. In my opinion each section was quite interesting and reasonably well written, apart from the fourth - ‘The part about the crimes’. A lot of this section was riveting but overcrowded with information, and at times it was too much to take in. Page after page of different murders and rapes, where the victims were all women and most of them prostitutes was sometimes very gruesome to read, and depending on the reader it’s either taken as positive or negative. However, the murders were based on real crimes in Ciudad Juarez, where more than four hundred women had been killed, which definitely adds some interest. Judging the whole section, moments of it were actually the most interesting parts in the entire novel, but the section was too swamped with events, making it hard to keep up with. Nevertheless, many critics have claimed this novel as a masterpiece and perhaps it is, but for me there wasn’t enough resolution to the story as a whole. Only hints were given – this could be due to Bolano having only ‘nearly’ finished the last novella before he died, and thus if he had, maybe there would have been a greater sense of resolution. Therefore, in my opinion the novel’s form didn’t work and it should have either been five separate novels or merged more as a whole, as at present it lacks the clarity of purpose and ease of reading essential for a great novel. by Steff Lever

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CHARITY is a word associated with generosity and goodwill. This month has seen charities being brought to the forefront of the social conscience. ‘Children in Need’ is one of many charities that has been brought to our attention and like many of you I plan to enjoy watching the fundraising festivities on 20th November and donating to this cause. There are also many other causes that would benefit from your help - financial or otherwise. If you are struggling for Christmas ideas, Oxfam unwrapped is full of excellent ideas for presents. Last year I bought everyone in my family a gift from Oxfam, such as safe water for 10 people. Also try www. everyclick.com, which has links to top retailers and you raise money for charity with every purchase. And remember guys, charity begins at home.

Word Of The Moment

by Laura Bright Memories As I was walking to a Peter Barta (legend) lecture once, I had a memory flash that I hadn’t thought about in, well, ever. When I was between the ages of about 5 and 13 I, like a lot of boys that age, had a massive wrestling fixation. In the memory I was about 10 years old doing a ‘Rock Bottom’ and a ‘People’s Elbow’ (wrestling move specialities by The Rock) on my then 7 year old brother on our parents double-bed. It may just be that action stuff looks better when you’re a kid, but I remember it looking awesome!

Thought of the day

This short memory had a kind of domino effect and made me remember all the times me and my brother ‘played’ WWF wrestling. This mostly consisted of me convincing my brother it was fun to be thrown about, so that actually I got to do all the moves on the gullible idiot. It wasn’t until my dad heard us break a wooden slat under the bed that he not only banned us from playing wrestling, but he banned us from watching it too. It’s strange how these seemingly insignificant memories are nearly always ones that make you laugh, smile, or at the very least make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Feels nice doesn’t it. Mr Marshmallow

How to Cure Writer’s Block Step One: Open Microsoft Word

Step Two: Wait

Step Three: Forever

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Lest We Forget

The eerie echo of the trumpet, the lapel-pinned poppies and the solemn faces of contemplation are all memories that many of us associate with Remembrance Day, the anniversary that commemorates those sacrificed in the line of duty throughout the ages, which took place earlier this month. Whilst no war is free of condemnation, The Great War of 1914-1918 is held in many people’s mind as the iconic template of horror, brutality and unimaginable waste of human life. So that we may learn from such unnecessary bloodshed, more recent writers have attempted to convey the devastation of the conflict, most famously in Pat Barker’s 1991 novel Regeneration and again in Sebastian Faulk’s Birdsong, both of which are now common staples of the A Level Literature course.

“Her” I sit alone wondering where you are Hoping, dreaming forever For that one day when the pieces Will finally fit together.

The days repeat themselves

Yet to gain an accurate insight, sometimes it’s best to discover Lying on my bed, watching the works of those who lived and breathed the trenches in the night sky move which they fought. Below are some of the famous writers who, through tragic circumstance, are responsible for the With a hopeless hope that poignant poetry we still read today: maybe, just maybe Siegfried Sassoon (1886 – 1967)

You’re watching the same star.

A Cambridge educated officer serving on the Western Front; Sassoon was deeply cynical of the War during his time in the trenches. In his controversial letter to The Times, Sassoon stated, “I believe that the war is being deliberately prolonged by those who have the power to end it” and was confined to ‘Cherish the scent, cherish the smile, cherish the Craiglockhart War Hospital on grounds of shellshock, where memories.’ he met fellow poet Wilfred Owen. He was wounded upon returning to the front and spent the remaining year of the Nothing but desperate war in England. Sassoon was often deeply satirical of those acts of reassurance. in command, demonstrated in his famous poem CounterAttack. Wilfred Owen (1893 – 1918) Often regarded as the best known of the war poets, Owen left the trenches in 1916 suffering from shellshock. Whilst recovering in Edinburgh he met Sassoon, who became a profound influence on his writing. During his time at the Hospital, he wrote the poems Anthem for Doomed Youth and Dulce et Decorum Est, the now infamous account of a mustard gas attack. Owen returned to the front, much to the disapproval of his friend, where he died a week before the war ended in 1918.

But how long can one hope How long can one dream How long can one await the other half Of what makes them a perfect, divine being.

Edmund Blunden (1896 – 1974) Whilst famous for his 1928 memoir The Undertones of Well I wait here as I always War, Blunden was nonetheless a regarded war poet who have was sent to the front in 1916. Surrey was lucky enough to receive esteemed modernist poet JH Prynne last month, And await the day you who lectured on Blunden, commenting on the infantile realise excitement of his poetry and the calm recollection of his prose. Blunden remains the most prolific writer of the War, That I’m everything you’ll who continues to gain attention for his gradual change in ever need. mood and style. Everything he’ll never be. It is important that the world continues to rediscover these poets and the many lesser-known ghosts, whose dedication cost them their lives, that by listening to their words, we discourage such horrors from being repeated in by Shervin Hejazi this century. by Tom Goulding

The Mishaps of Jennifer Lee

The Skirt The Size The Squeeze

Jennifer sat and stared. Those colours seemed to mystify her into a sort of trance. Today was not a usual day, today was made different - all because of that one moment. Those fantastic colours, and yes, the cut and fit exceeded all Jennifer’s expectations, causing her to gaze longingly. Courtney was wearing the new skirt of her dreams. One second later and a momentary thought of bribery Jennifer asked the lethal question. She stopped Courtney walking any further into the office; and whispered in such shame, “Where did you get that skirt!!” It was almost in a helpless voice, and no later than thirty seconds after, Jennifer received the ‘confidential information’.  For the rest of the day she counted down time. Late night shopping – this is a rule made for the Shopaholic’s Survival Guide. Jennifer always followed it, especially when she had a mission. She headed straight to her ‘destination’. The name in big bold lights TOPSHOP greeted her at the entrance. ‘This is my fate’ she declared to herself. After twenty minutes of looking for the fated skirt, Jennifer began to feel uneasy, but she knew what she had to do. Now a less welcoming sign greeted her - Customer Services. She knew now that she was probably doomed never to find the skirt, but still there was hope. The customer assistant tapped on the computer keyboard, and made what Jennifer would call ‘the frown of doom’, “Unfortunately madam this skirt is now out of season”. Jennifer stood silent, almost as if she hadn’t heard a word, and to make it worse the customer assistant gave a final “Sorry”. Two weeks passed, and as a last attempt, she tried a different Topshop store. As if it was fate, she saw the print, the beautiful colours, amongst the rest of the dreary looking sale items; she felt her heart skip a beat. ‘Two skirts, maybe two sizes’ she thought to herself, and prayed that they had her ‘perfect size’. Grabbing the labels she revealed a size 8 and a size 6, neither of which were Jennifer’s size, but she had picked up the size 8 hoping for the best. But in the end the size was a size too small. Exiting  the changing room with practically no hope, Jennifer glanced at the ‘tried it on rack’ and lo and behold another skirt was hanging up… could it be her size? Yes! She almost shouted at the top of her voice, it was in fact her ‘perfect size’, and once again she hurried into the changing room. Now ladies, this is what us Shopaholic’s call ‘The Squeeze’, following the rule she pulled the skirt passed her hips and began to do up the zip; she squeezed in her stomach muscles and to her delight managed to do the zip up. Who said faith ever hurt anyone? by Steff Lever

Six Characters in Search of an Author Luigi Pirandello’s play Six Characters in search of an Author is a play about searching oneself, how we play a part in society and wear masks to have more than one identity and conceal our true one, to therefore be accepted in society. Pirandello makes this clear distinction within the play between the characters who are represented as real and the professional actors who are seen as unreal. There is a clear distinction between life and theatre. The drama unfolds in a theatre where professional actors are about to start rehearsals for a play. It is then that they are interrupted, as the title suggests, by six characters in search of an author. The characters are composed of a family; I use the term loosely as they are not a family of the conventional kind. The father and step-daughter are desperate to tell their stories, which can only be performed by the

characters themselves. It is their story, it cannot be performed by the professional actors as all elements of authenticity and reality will be lost as reality comes from within the characters. The characters relive their story as they tell it, inviting the audience to participate in their drama where consequence and coincidence go hand in hand in a series of events which eventually lead to heart ache and the destruction of a person; morally and physically. The truth lives within all of us and many times we throw about the term “the truth hurts”. This term according to Pirandello should not be used lightly, it takes great courage to reveal the truth and accept a reality which can be dark and disturbing. A recurring theme in Pirandello’s plays and novels are the use of masks that society forces us to wear,

Film Get the popcorn ready......

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thus we act in a certain way to respect and accept ideologies established by the cultural circles we belong to. If we do not conform to these ideologies we result as victims of hypocrisy. A fundamental distinction between life and appearance is the essence of the play. Pirandello uses this play as a tool of self analysis, leaving us with questions of who are we? what are our roles in life? He introduces the role of perception. The role of perceivers is more important, as life is like theatre; thus reality does not exist in itself. If nothing is real then hypocrisy is forever present as we are constantly professing different identities contrary to ones real character or actual behaviour. The main reason for hypocrisy can be blamed purely on society as we wear masks, debating that public identity is more important than a true one. by Maria Luisa Genco

My 5 Guilty Pleasures

Whilst packing my suitcase for University I was faced with a dilemma…what DVDs would I bring? Although we live in the golden era of Internet where nearly every movie ever made can be accessed electronically, the appeal of owning films has never been lost on me. (Although in the past friends have ‘borrowed’ DVDs that were never seen again.) I struggled to decide between picking films I know would look impressive if someone saw them in my room (“Why yes, that is 1942 Special Edition of Citizen Kane*”) and films I would actually watch. This internal dialogue ran for a few minutes, until my dad shouted up that the car was leaving with or without me. In that instant I grabbed five movies I hoped would keep me going through the year and dragged my suitcase downstairs. The following films made the cut –

(Just because Little Miss Sunshine and Hard Candy are not in this list, don’t assume this means I’m not compelled to watch them whenever they air, I just haven’t found them in any second hand shops recently.) 1) Jane Eyre (BBC 2006) – This was a slight compromise between films to impress strangers and films I actually like. Based on the classic Bronte novel about the quintessential plain-Jane and her relationship with the mysterious Mr Rochester, I genuinely enjoyed this series when it aired, and it has the advantage of acting as a very sophisticated chick flick. With more romance than both Bridget Jones combined, simply because everything is so epically portrayed, this is a definite must see for lovers of

period drama. The guilt comes in when I consider the unhealthy number of times I have watched this movie!

2) The Shawshank Redemption (1994) – Although a man’s wrongful imprisonment for the murder of his wife may not seem like the most optimistic start to a movie, this film always falls into the feel good category for me. The dramatic depiction of human will-power in my mind outweighs all the negative extremes shown, making this the perfect movie for a night in with Morgan Freeman’s calming voice. 3) Thirteen (2002) – In hindsight I do slightly regret buying this movie, as after having seen it once, I can’t bring myself to watch it again or give it away. The starkly realistic portrayal of ‘the allure of cool’, this movie definitely stays in your head long after the credits roll, which is one of the reasons I’m reluctant to put myself through what will definitely be a very emotional two hours again. That said, the rollercoaster ride is probably the reason I enjoyed it so much I brought it with me in the first place.

the entire 122 minutes. Although the darker undertones of this film never fail to register, the overall theme is a hopeful one, and I can see myself still being addicted to this movie in 10 years. (It’s that good!)

5) Sound of Music (1965) – I KNOW I’m not the only person who has all the words to Edelweiss memorised. The Ultimate musical experience, High School Musical really just can’t compare to this classic love story that shows singing really can make you feel better. Anyone who has yet to watch this film should try and get hold of it straight away – those who have seen it should watch it again, as either way it’s guaranteed to make you smile. Perhaps in that moment of quick decision, the films selected were a representation of me as a person. (Deep, I know!) Whatever the reason, my Guilty Pleasures always manage to succeed in making my laugh, smile or cry, no matter how many times I watch them. However I know I’m not the only person with a movie they’ve watched 20+ times stashed somewhere in their room. So what I want to know is…what is your Guilty Pleasure? (It’s only fair, I did tell you mine!) Write into the filmdesk, all entries will be completely anonymous and the top films you secretly love will be printed in a future issue.

4) American Beauty (1999) – Strangely, I recently had a strong craving to watch this movie. There are several scenes in this movie about a dysfunctional suburban *I have not watched Citizen Kane, the only American family that I am obsessed reference I’ve heard to it has been on Friends, with, but in the film that brought one of but it is a very highly acclaimed film. the first ‘beautiful-weirdo’ characters to the screen, I usually end up watching by Eunice Njagi

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A Christmas Carol (PG)

Robert Zemeckis uses the motion capture technique he used in The Polar Express and Beowulf to re-create Charles Dickens’ popular novel. Jim Carrey is Ebenezer Scrooge, Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future. If this technology seems creepy to you, then the film uses it to its full potential. The hazy, cold streets of London are haunting and the dark, gothic feel makes me think that this movie is more for Halloween than it is for Christmas. It does have a huge opportunity to truly serve Charles Dickens’ tale, but there are times where it has to resort to dramatic, zany action sequences. There is no need for filler, because it is already there in the novel. All that partially ruins what should be the most ambitious and interesting attempt at adapting Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Children should take caution as the movie is quite scary. ***** by Ollie Sim

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Bright Star (PG)

It is the hardest thing to go against the barrage of critics, especially when the film being judged is that of Jane Campion. Everyone fawned over The Piano and frowned over In The Cut. Both works of Jane Campion, but have a totally different effect on me. The Piano was a bore-fest for which Andrea Dworkin would have taken pride in observing. On the other hand Jane Campion also made In The Cut, which was a more radical exercise in producing what was (in disguise) straight-to-video trash. So give me trash any day than preaching to me that what I am watching is self-important feminist hooey. Bright Star, rather than being centred on John Keats, focuses on his lover Fanny Brawne. Fanny is successful though repressed and John is moderately famous though a financial and critical failure. As Keats’ health deteriorates, both struggle to express their affection. Bright Star, like The Piano is well shot and impeccably acted. The lovely aesthetic shots of lavender and treetops are all fine. The main achievement of the film is its many inclusions of John Keats’ poetry such as The Eve of St. Agnes. I’m glad that the original work had been cleared and it pays off on its own. Also, like The Piano, it is a film that feels like it is made by a feminist English professor. The high-brow critics are quick to shower it with praise, but I dare you to find an audience member who does not slump to one side during the two hour marathon. It is not because you are stupid; it is because it’s a mind-numbing film where (to be brutally honest) hardly anything is being said. ***** by Ollie Sim

Moon (15)

behaving in an almost humanlike manner; displaying Cast: Sam Rockwell, Kevin Spacey sympathy towards Sam Directed by: Duncan Jones Bell and helping I came to know about this off-beat movie him flout the called Moon when it shot up about 800% rules of the on the IMDb MovieMeter in the past few c o r p o r a t i o n weeks. It seems that fans of Sam Rockwell he is working have been running an online campaign for. GERTY is to get him nominated for an Oscar for nowhere close his performance in this movie made on a to displacing HAL 9000, but shoestring budget. it sure will get ‘honourable mentions’ in Moon is set in the future, where companies future ‘Best AI in Sci-Fi Movies’. are mining Helium-3 from the moon to supply Earth’s energy needs. Sam Bell The director enhances the sense of (played by Rockwell) is the lone manager desolation and loneliness of the character of the moon base where the automated in outer space: making huge living quarters mining takes place; his job being to see for a single inhabitant, using Chesney that everything is in order. As you can Hawkes’s song The One and Only as the figure out by now, Moon is pretty much a wake-up alarm, and working in ‘no contact with Earth’ into the story. Periods where one-man show. no background score is present add to In the first half hour of the movie you this feeling of being stranded too, with the wonder, “Why would people even think that viewer being made to focus purely on the Sam Rockwell will get nominated for this?” character. In other scenes, Clint Mansell’s So it’s a bit slow off the starting block. As score gels in well with overall feel of the the plot takes a twist around that point, you environment. begin to truly appreciate what Rockwell put into this movie. You, the viewer, can almost Although in all probability Sam Rockwell will sense the despair and agony of a man not win an Oscar for this, his performance stuck all alone in this hellhole of a job on is, indeed, quite moving. Moon certainly is one of the better sci-fi movies made in the the moon for three long years. vein of 2001: A Space Odyssey. The only company he has is the moon station’s robotic / computer assistant ***** named GERTY (voiced by Kevin Spacey). As the movie progresses, we see GERTY by Ankur Banerjee

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Jennifer’s Body If Bright Star is hell bent on making the audience feel like a bunch of philistines, then you are with me in thinking “I’d rather watch vampirism, ancient curses, and grungy high school horror”. What did put me off earlier is the fact it stars actress/stripper/model/cleavage/you’ve been tangoed Megan Fox. I can say with much confidence that this is her best film to date (and that is saying a lot). The film is on familiar territory, where the high school clique meets Ginger Snaps. Megan Fox is a fiery, sexual, high school teenager who ‘offers’ herself for fellow male classmates. Here is the catch: she is evil. Not “high school evil”, but “actually evil”. Her diffident ‘best friend’ (Amanda Seyfried, with glasses) tries to explain to everyone how Jennifer (Megan Fox) is not what she seems. Ironic how the snot-nosed critics sneer at this and bland Bright Star is showered with confetti. Diablo Cody (Juno) obviously knows her horror and this film is less for the ‘fanboy’ audience than it is for the more mainstream audience. There are many references to Slumber Party Massacre, Carrie and to a certain extent The House on Sorority Row, but that does not matter because it is a fun-filled romp that will last for just those minutes on screen. ***** by Ollie Sim

The Worst Animated Feature Ever Made For anyone that thought James Cameron’s The story is about an upper class, handsome, Titanic was bad, Titanic: The Animated Movie young man named Sir William (knighted for his will tarnish those bad memories. good looks) who falls in love with a poor, delicate girl named Angelica. Both trying to seek love Whenever I leave a cinema screening, one of aboard the Titanic, both suspiciously looking the most common reactions I ever hear from like Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. an audience member is, “Wow, that was ‘The Worst Film Ever’!” To a certain extent, it does Not that the Italian animation company which annoy me because I always have to question the made this are going to face their biggest lawsuit integrity of the statement. How many bad films from 20th Century Fox. No, that would be Disney. does an average audience really see to make Why? Because every single character is placed the judgement that the film they just saw was and drawn like a game of Where’s Waldo. the worst? No, Australia is not the worst film There is an evil stepmother in the movie that ever made. No, The Happening is not the worst looks exactly like Curella De Ville. Look out for film ever made. And no, Batman and Robin is mice that look like the mice in Cinderella, and not the worst film ever made by a long shot. geese that look exactly like the geese in The Aristocats. Seriously, that is just the beginning. There is a popular saying among cinephiles It is like watching a smorgasbord of plagiarism. and it is this: it is not how many good films you see, it is how many stickers (bad films) you What next? A rapping dog? Well, at least it does see. So in other words, to be able to judge a not stoop to…oh, wait a minute. It DOES! If most film more reliably the question is NOT whether of the film consists of you watching it between have you seen Casablanca, Citizen Kane or The your fingers, then this is clawing your face off. Godfather? More to the point, have you seen This part of the film comes after a moment Surf Nazis Must Die, Troll 2, Galaxy of Terror, where the dog saves a family of mice from The Trial of Billy Jack, J.D.’s Revenge or The being eaten by a cat. Just after the little mouse Thing With Two Heads? The more bad films you says with twee, “If it haven’t been for you, I would have been in somebody’s digestion” see, the more you appreciate films. (The translating department’s budget had In terms of Titanic: The Animated Movie, I obviously been slashed.) We have the dog lead struggle to find an animated film that is as lame, into an induction rap. Then comes a hilariously, unimaginative, badly written, badly drawn, gruesome montage with the dog wearing an NY hilariously voiced, excruciatingly scored as this baseball cap, jersey and sneakers, along with Italian-made atrocity. Why? Well, where can you the usual repeated sequence out of sync. start and how much time have you got?

When the film finally gets to the sinking, everyone on board dies, sorry, survives. That’s right, as a children’s film, the Titanic sunk, but at least everyone got off fine, including the huge breasted opera singer. My personal favourite comes in the form of an officer who repeats the line, “You can’t go through this way. Don’t force me to resort to violence” a head banging three times. All the while, the passengers in the background are marching in place, going nowhere. So everyone gets off the boat, we come to the end of the film. An incredibly annoying child, who narrates what has happened to the characters, treats us to a prologue. There is even one point where she is tongue-tied and cannot finish the sentence, but still the studio could not afford editing equipment, so it is left in. The last words of the film haunt me to this day, “Bye for now and see you soon!”. Cue the torturous keyboard synthesiser that stands in for the score. The credits roll with endless names that even the smartest detective cannot figure out. How were these people involved? I cannot translate the Italian, but I bet that it is a list of people who funded and distributed the film. Well, they did a great job because there are few DVDs out there of the original copy. The good news is that you can see the uncut copy on YouTube. It’s party time! by Ollie Sim

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by David Holt The Guildford Heat basketball team this week saw themselves lose out to Everton Tigers 8472 in Liverpool despite Joseph netting 24 points and Drakeford and Martin adding 15 and 13 respectively. The Heat had given themselves a lot to do when they found themselves 25 points down going in the final quarter, but they still sit in 5th position in the British Basketball League and sit just two points behind the leaders Newcastle, Milton Keynes and Sheffield - although these teams have all played at least one extra game. Heat’s next home game is against Plymouth Raiders on 22nd November. For more details visit www.guildfordheat.com. Guildford Flames Ice Hockey team have had a slightly more successful time of it recently, beating both Swindon and Basingstoke in the last two weeks. Playing away to Swindon in the League-Cup, the Flames managed to pick up a hugely impressive 5-2 win, with goals coming from Smital, Clarke and Lamey in the first period, Masa in the second and Plant in the third. This was followed up by the home fixture against Basingstoke with Rempel scoring a brace and Smital adding the other, lifting the team to third in the league despite having played fewer games than Manchester Phoenix and Milton Keynes Lightning who currently sit above them. The Flames upcoming home games are against Swindon on the 22nd November and the following Sunday against Slough on the 29th. See www. guildfordflames.com for more details Aldershot Town have announced 49 year old Kevin Dillon as their new manager, replacing caretaker manager Jason Dodd in the Shots hot seat. Dillon raked up 564 appearances in his career for the likes of Newcastle and Birmingham and also made appearances for England Under 21s. Dillon is joining the shots following roles at Reading as First Team Coach, Youth Coach and Reserve coach and has spoken out at his pleasure to be Aldershot’s new manager. The Shots are in to the Second Round of the FA Cup following a 2-0 win over Bury, and now face an away trip against either Tranmere Rovers or Leyton Orient, both of whom are currently sitting in the bottom half of League One. The Shots are also still within a point of the play offs in League Two following a 0-0 away draw with Rotherham, and the next home match is against Northampton Town on the 24th November. See www.theshots. co.uk for more details.

Together with the Students’ Union we strive to provide you with the best opportunities to participate in sport whilst you are studying at Surrey. T: 01483 (68)9201 (Sports Centre) T: 01483 (68)9242 (Varsity Centre) E: [email protected] / www.unisport.co.uk

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by David Holt

Chad McKnight

We’re almost spoilt for choice with sport around the south-east area, but right here in Guildford we are privileged to have one of the top basketball teams in the country in the Guildford Heat. In what is about to become a weekly segment I am going to shine a spotlight on what makes them up, starting with Heat’s fan favourite playercoach, Chad McKnight. 26 year old McKnight from Lancaster, Ohio was a member of the inaugural Heat team in the 2005/06 season and almost instantly became a hit with the fans as he appeared in all 40 of the teams games that year, average over 11 points per game, but it was during the following seasons Championship winning year that he averaged his career best of 12 points per game. It was during the 2006/07season that Chad looks back fondly on his favourite match for Heat, where he netted a career high of 39 points in the BBL Cup Quarter Final against Plymouth, and he took to the court during Heat’s BBL Cup triumph against the Scottish Rocks, the Heat’s first ever silverware. McKnight rightly claims that basketball is in his blood, with his three brothers Phil, Chris and Brett all either coaching or playing back in the States, with ex-Heat director Phil Hardy having predicted great things for the younger McKnights on the court. Like his brothers, Chad has been playing from a young age, but it was during his time at Morehead State University in Kentucky that he really took off as a player, representing the Eagles in the top flight of college basketball in the States, even winning the Conference Championship in his second season, playing in 28 games and averaging 7.3ppg, followed by 10.6 and 16.9ppg for the next two seasons when he then joined the Heat to pursue his dream of playing professional basketball. Despite suffering a season long ankle injury in 2007 and playing for the Leicester Riders during the 07/08 season, McKnight returned to the Heat last season, playing in 44 games and averaging 9.9ppg, but McKnight isn’t done yet in following his life’s passion. He says he hopes to either coach or own a professional team once he has retired from the game, as well as currently coaching the University of Surrey’s girl’s team, but for now he’s just trying to enjoy his dream come true. “All my life, all I have wanted to do is play basketball.” McKnight told Ignite, the Heat’s game night program. “My biggest success is having the opportunity to play basketball.” And while he continues to show such good form for Guildford Heat, long may it continue.

Surrey Stroll to Success by David Holt Guildford Women’s First 13-0 Kings College Women’s Thirds The University of Surrey Women’s Hockey First Team strolled to success in their latest cup match against King’s College with Madeline Retter and Rose Evil both grabbing hat-tricks, with Retter doing so on her debut for the first team. The Varsity’s nickname of “The Fortress” has perhaps never seemed quite as apt as each member of the team turned on the style to blow away their visitors, including a 5 minute spell of a goal a minute. Alongside hat-trick heroes

[email protected]

Retter and Evil, Katherine Rattle, Catherine Walkin and team captain Nicola Vernon all added two goals each while Phillipa Cordey and Benjamino Avro both added goals themselves. Perhaps the only sour note was Katherine Rattle not only performing a cartwheel after one of her goals, but also getting blood on the new white kit, scrapping her knees and falling over, and therefore quite deservedly earning herself “Dick of the Day”! So while Evil and Retter may grab the thrust of the plaudits, with the latter getting Man of the Match on her debut, the whole team deserves credit for a brilliant performance, one that they will be looking to replicate for the rest of the season. If you are interested in getting involved with the University of Surrey Hockey team please contact [email protected] for more details.

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Inside Sport …with David Holt

28th October 2009

Results Football

Badminton

Men’s

Men’s

Surrey 1st 5-0 St Mary’s 4th

How many of you are there involved in Women’s Football at Surrey?

Surrey 2nd 1-7 Reading 1st

Surrey 2nd 3-0 Royal Holloway 2nd

In total I’d say there are probably about 25 of us, including the coaches.

Football

South Bank 2nd 3-2 Surrey 3rd

What ability level are you all at?

Surrey 1st 4-2 Chichester 5th

Surrey 4th 4-1 UCL 3rd

It’s a mixed level to be honest with you. Some of the girls are really talented, whereas I’m pretty rubbish! But it is still great fun and I really enjoy going.

Reading 3rd 3-1 Surrey 2nd

Surrey 5th 1-4 Kingston 2nd

Surrey 3rd 3-4 UCL 4th

Women’s

Brunel 3rd 10-1 Surrey 4th

Brunel 2nd 0-3 Surrey 1st

Hockey

Hockey

How often do you play - be it training, matches or whatever?

Men’s

Men’s

We mainly just have our training sessions on Thursdays, but we play our matches on Wednesdays.

University of the Arts 1st 0-6 Surrey 1st

Surrey 1st 0-3 Reading 2nd

What is the social life like and how often do you go out?

Surrey 2nd 0-20 Canterbury Christ Church 1st

In this feature I’ll meet with people from University sports teams to try and gain an insight in to their sport. This week I met with a member of the Women’s Football team.

How has the team been doing this year? I’d say we are doing pretty well so far. We have a completely mixed ability group, so it takes a while to get everyone playing together,

We’re all pretty close and enjoy going out together and having a good time, but the centre of the football social life is going out pretty much every Wednesday! If anyone is interested in joining, how do they get involved in playing Women’s Football at Surrey Uni? I believe they can get involved by signing up with Unisport or by contacting Missy on [email protected] Would you like to be interviewed and get the important information about your sport out there? Email David Holt at [email protected] if you would and we can organise an interview for future editions.

Surrey First XV Edge to Victory by Matthew Allen

Surrey University Rugby 1st team continued their good form this week, sporting for the first time the new all white Nike kit courtesy of Surrey Sports Park. On a particularly wet and cold Wednesday afternoon the first XV put in a very mature performance, winning the game 6-3 thanks to the boot of fly half Matt Ody who kicked two crucial penalties, meaning the team is moving further up the table and closer to promotion. The team was cheered on by a strong following on the sidelines for which the team is very grateful, knowing that this pushes the team on when the going gets tough. The second team put on an extremely good performance away to Portsmouth, narrowly losing despite a 10-8 half time lead and excellent performances from the likes of Callum Baines and Marcus Luxon. The second team has vowed to come out stronger from the loss and are looking to put their season back on track in their next home game against LSE. In addition to their highly competitive league matches, the two men’s teams combined for the first inter-squad match, captained by James Roberts of Team Yellow and Dave Nolan of Team Blue. Equal teams were selected, but with bragging rights and the Inter-Squad Trophy on the line tackles flew in hard and fast ensuring both teams played to their best. It was a hard fought match, but ultimately Team Blue came out on top following an outstanding performance and surged to a 26-5 victory. If you would like to get involved with the University of Surrey Rugby Team please contact [email protected] for more details.

Women’s Surrey 2nd 15-0 Royal Holloway 3rd

Women’s Surrey 1st 13-0 Kings College 3rd UCL 1 14-0 Surrey 2 st

nd

Netball Surrey 1st 32-23 Brighton 3rd Rugby

Squash

Surrey 1st 6-3 St George’s 1st

Surrey 1st 5-0 Brunel 1st

Portsmouth 4th 26-10 Surrey 2nd

31 October 2009 st

Squash

Hockey

Sussex 1st 1-4 Surrey 1st

Men’s Leatherhead 2 4-0 Surrey 2 nd

Women’s London Edwardians 3rd 6-2 Surrey 1st

nd

Brunel 2nd 1-2 Surrey 2nd Tennis Men’s Brunel 1st 8-0 Surrey 1st

4th November 2009

Surrey 2nd 3-7 Portsmouth 2nd

Badminton

Women’s

Men’s

Surrey 1st 4-5 Royal Holloway 1st

Medway 1st 4-4 Surrey 2nd

7th November 2009

Women’s

Hockey

Surrey 8-0 Royal Holloway

Men’s

Basketball

Barnes 4th 0-4 Surrey 1st

Men’s

Surrey 2nd 0-6 Old Reigatian 2nd

Portsmouth 1st 70-44 Surrey

Women’s

Fencing

Merton 2nd 0-5 Surrey 5th

Surrey 135-130 UCL 2nd

by David Holt

The World of Sports

Chelsea have extended their place at the top of the Barclaycard Premier League following their 1-0 home win against Manchester United, courtesy of a goal from captain John Terry, and it is now Arsenal who are leading the chasing back after emphatic wins over local rivals Tottenham Hotspur and Wolverhampton Wanderers. Liverpool’s stuttering start to the campaign, emphasised by the fact that Voronin is still getting in their team, has only been worsened after losing comfortably to Fulham 3-1 and scraping a draw against Birmingham which featured a very fortunate penalty going David N’Gog’s way. Yes, he is making the team too.

back from a 3-1 deficit to draw with CSKA Moscow. Fulham’s hard work in their first game against Roma was partly undone in the Europa League when they lost 2-1 to the Italian team, meanwhile Everton stammered to a 2-0 defeat against Benfica, with Oscar Cardozo impressing again.

Aston Villa are piling on the pressure on the top four after a 5-1 demolition of Bolton while Manchester City and Burnley battled out to a 3-3 draw at Eastlands and Everton’s stuttering start to the season finally picked up with a 2-1 away win over West Ham. It is the Hammers, along with Hull, Bolton, Wolves and Portsmouth who are predominantly battling it out at the bottom of the league, but Pompey, after a slow start to the season, have finally begun to hit their stride following a 4-0 win over Wigan, perhaps attempting the tried and trusted “slow and easy wins the race” technique. Well, it worked with the turtle.

Peterborough have parted ways with their manager Darren Ferguson as the club sit bottom of the Championship following a 3-1 loss to Newcastle at the newly named “Sportsdirect.com @ St. James’ Park Stadium” while Ipswich climbed above them following their first win of the season against Derby County. Gordon Strachan has overseen two losses out of two as manager of Middlesbrough as they came unstuck against Plymouth and Crystal Palace, while in the huge Welsh derby it was Swansea who came out on top against high flying Cardiff in a brilliant 3-2 victory. Southend United narrowly avoided going in to administration shortly after beating beat Gillingham 1-0 at Roots Hall, but it is Leeds who are still running away with it at the top of League One by 7 clear points over Charlton after comfortably beating Oldham and Yeovil, while struggling Brighton have announced Gus Poyet as their new manager. Cash strapped Bournemouth are still the leaders in League Two but Rochdale are closing in on them following a 4-0 away win over the leaders on Saturday.

It has been a largely disappointing week for British teams in Europe with only Arsenal picking up a win following their 4-1 smashing of AZ, while Chelsea, Rangers and Celtic drew against Athletico Madrid, Unirea Urziceni and Hamburg respectively. Liverpool have it all to do now in the Champions League after conceding a late equaliser to Lyon in France while Manchester United themselves left it late to come

David Haye is the new WBA Heavyweight Champion in Boxing following his win over Russian giant Nikolay Valuev in Nuremburg. Haye, who is now the first British Heavyweight Champion since Lennox Lewis, beat the leviathan on points after sticking to his game plan and eventually overcame the odds, being awarded the win 116-112, 116-112, 114114 despite his opponent standing at 7 feet and

by Bjorn Singh

proportions by itself. He attacks in explosive spurts of left-right-left combinations (it almost seems comical watching Haye nearly having to jump just to reach the ‘Beast’s’ head), moving in and out too fast for Valuev to catch. The Great Russian jabs and swings a multitude of times, but it seems that Haye sees the punches before they are even thrown and is easily able to duck and weave and move out of reach of those monstrously sized fists. To Valuev, for 11 rounds Haye seems like an annoying fly that keeps bumping into him which he just can’t swat. The only problem for him is that all these little bumps, though not painful, are scoring points.

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weighing seven stone more than the London-based champion. Haye now looks likely to come home and defend his championship against John Ruiz at the O2 Arena in Greenwich. It was Sebastian Vettel who finished as runner up in the 2009 Formula One Drivers Championship as he raced to victory in the last race of the year at Abu Dhabi. Lewis Hamilton has qualified in first but had to retire early, handing the lead to the young and hugely impressive Vettel. Rubens Barrichello has been announced as joining Williams for the upcoming season and will be joined by rookie Nico Hulkenberg, who has been likened to former champion Hamilton. England’s Rugby Union Autumn tour has further been plagued with injury over the last two weeks with Barnes and Wilson dropping out of the squad, and are to be replaced with inexperienced Gloucester Prop Paul Doran-Jones. England are looking to pick themselves up against Argentina after going down 18-9 against Australia on Saturday, with the main positive being the scoring of the returning Johnny Wilkinson despite a strong second half performance from the Wallabies. American Phil Mickelson has picked up the Golf HSBC Championship in China, finishing up 17 under par, just one better than Ernie Els who had chased him all the way. Meanwhile, closer to home golfing legend Nick Faldo has received a knighthood from the Queen. The most successful British golfer of the modern era was given the award in recognition for his contribution to the sport.

The End of the World..... Almost

On the night of November 7th 2009, millions of people around the world almost witnessed the greatest catastrophe to ever hit the earth. On this day, or rather night, we humble beings of this planet were almost ended by a global earthquake of immense magnitude. What would have been the cause of this bringer of destruction and death? David Haye, that’s what! David Haye and his explosive left hand in the 12th round, which almost saw the most gigantic heavyweight to ever step into a boxing ring hit the canvas. And let me assure you, this tiny planet can’t handle that kind of impact; even if every British boxing fan was aching to see it happen. Let me just briefly set the scene. It’s the 12th round of the modern day battle between David & Goliath and both fighters are still standing. Flashback - after 2 rounds, unknowingly to anyone but himself, David Haye suffers a suspected broken right hand by landing what would have been for any other fighter a devastating right hook to the left side of Nikolai Valuev’s face – Valuev shrugs his shoulders unhurt. For 11 rounds Haye circles Valuev; with his hands hanging by his side and his head jutted forward, enticing Valuev to swing, he seems more like a tiger circling his prey, trying to calculate whether it’s capable of taking down an animal of such gigantic

12th round and Valuev clearly needs a knockout. For nearly two minutes Haye avoids Valuev’s jabs and for nearly two minutes the world was resigned to ‘just’ a points victory. Then a left-right and another massive left and Valuev’s legs are almost gone. Haye follows up like a rampaging, rabid animal trying to finish off his prey, but the Russian just manages to hold on until the bell. David Haye, against all odds, is the new WBA heavyweight champion of the world. Truth be told, after watching Haye’s performance it’s a wonder why anyone ever doubted him. Throughout the fight he used his clever boxing brain to just be conservative and land his punches in spurts and then throw in a quick jab to the body and head now

and again. Haye was faster than Valuev, more agile than Valuev and just seemed to bully the Russian in a way he’d never experienced before. Valuev’s calm and expressionless face seemed like that of a defeated school kid, resigned to the fact that every time he walks onto the playground a bully is definitely going to take his lunch money and there’s nothing he can do about. I almost felt sorry for him as, quite frankly, all Haye did was exploit his obvious weaknesses (his lack of speed and movement) to show what a bad boxer Valuev really is when he doesn’t have his strength and size to fall back on. David Haye deserved to win that fight and what a night it was for him, but more so, what a night it was for British heavyweight boxing. Frank Warren was right in suggesting that Haye’s real test will be from now on when he actually has to fight boxers that can box as, though it may detract from the Russians great achievements in the sport, the only reason he’s done what he has is because of his size. Let’s hope that now Haye is a world champion, heavyweight boxing will be known once again for its quality of boxing and not the size of the boxers; let’s hope that Haye can start his own boxing legacy and, like Lennox Lewis before him, do what he says he’ll do and ‘clean up the division’.

Football Focus FA Introduction to Futsal Saturday 12 December, 9am-3pm The course will provide an introduction to: • Game play • The techniques of Futsal • Game of Futsal • Principles of play • Rules of Futsal Price: Register by: Venue Detail: Contact Person/To Book:

£40.00 11 December 2009, 10am UniSPORT, Sports Centre Craig Hicks, Tel: 01372 387 092 Email: [email protected]

Futsal Workshop Sunday 22 November - Sunday 6 December, 11am-12noon Price: General Information: Venue Detail:

£4, Free UniSPORT Full Members Led by FA qualified coach UniSPORT, Sports Centre

FA Basic Referee Course Struggling to get part-time work? How about getting qualified as a referee and earning money being involved in a sport you love? Funding available to get you started! Courses happening Feb 2010 For more information email: [email protected]

BUCS Football Leadership & Volunteering Programme Whatever you do for your team at University or in the community you could be rewarded by BUCS and the FA. Sign up at www.bucs.org.uk/football or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bucsfootball Monthly prize draw plus work towards funding towards FA courses or vouchers for Nike kit & equipment For further details on any of these initiatives contact: T: 01483 689201 E: [email protected] www.unisport.co.uk

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