The Stag - Issue 11

Issue 11 Editor : Sara Hadfield Editor-In-Chief : Elizabeth Simos Produced in USSU, University of Surrey, Guildford Est. 2008

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Student Loans’ Head is on the Line This Issue: Your Event Planner Campus Boy A Day in the Life of..... Fashion Your film and music reviews! Meet the new Stag Team! And More...

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he head of student loans, Ralph Seymour-Jackson, was asked to resign last month by the National Union of Students in the wake of the appalling student finance crisis. Ben Pook investigates why so many students are still waiting for loans and offers his own account of the situation.

According to figures from the SLC, over 100,000 students were still waiting for loans in the last week of October. Applicants have been left stranded and many are struggling to afford rent payments during the first few months of the academic year. President of the National Union of Students, Wes Streeting, has highlighted Seymour-Jackson’s poor management of the process and noted how the SLC head attempted to pass the blame onto us, the students. Wes Streeting said, “You’ve got the appalling situation which has left hundreds of thousands affected by this crisis, tens of thousands without their support, a miserable start to term and on top of that one of the most shameful spin operations from a public body I have ever seen. They have failed to communicate with the public, made broken promise after broken promise. In that context how anyone can expect us to have confidence is beyond me. It’s time for Ralph Seymour-Jackson to do honourable thing and resign – or for ministers to step in and sack him.

And it seems that some applications are still annoyingly far from complete; as I found out recently during my application process. My loan is income-assessed and the SLC request my household details each year. However, technical issues on the SLC website prevented me from submitting these details online and I was forced to send a form via the post. After three weeks without a response, I reluctantly called the student loans hotline number. I was greeted by a charismatic voice - a welcome change from the standard “the shorter this lasts the better” tone - which seemed enthusiastic about dealing with my query. Good start. I highlighted my growing impatience about the lack of communication and asked why my process isn’t complete, as well as why I can’t process the details online. He apologised, unsurprisingly, and offered a phone number of my local SLC, who is still dealing with the application. Next, he openly admitted to a complete failure by the organisation to effectively manage ‘income assessed’ loan applications. I was impressed by this openness and outright declaration of incompetence, and it seemed my initial judgment about his character was correct. I began to consider, maybe the SLC isn’t all bad after all? At least their employees are honest.

Naively, I forgot how my process was still far from over. The employee simply sugar coated his answer with honesty and necessary apologies. I was sold to his The record number of applicants this year has caused aptitude, yet after the phone call, all I had was another delays in the student finance system and the transfer phone number – so I was still in the exact same position of the administration systems from local authorities to as before. And to make matters worse, it was too late SLC has led to additional systematic problems during the to call my local SLC. Swindlers. process. Universities have been offering financial support to students who are unable to afford living costs, including rent and food, but this has been an unexpected burden for many academic establishments across the country.

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Students Demonstrate Against Gay Blood Ban Students in support of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transsexual (LGBT) rights descended on London last week to protest against the National Blood Service’s policy of not allowing gay and bisexual men to donate blood. The ban states that men who have ever had oral or anal sex with other men are banned for life from donating blood. The NBS justifies this policy by

explaining that men have a higher chance of carrying HIV.

discriminatory and perpetuates the myth that AIDS is a ‘gay disease’.

‘Donation not Discrimination’ - a nationwide campaign by the NUS has protested against the ban for the past five years, during which hundreds of LBGT students have joined the campaign and tens of thousands of people have signed the petition. NUS believe that the lifetime ban is

Daf Adley, NUS LGBT Officer said, “Whilst donating blood is not a right, it is a responsibility - one which healthy gay and bisexual men should be able to exercise without fear of prejudice or discrimination.”#

Issue 11 |2nd November 2009 | www.ussu.co.uk/thestag

Continued Page 5....

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Editor’s Letter Welcome back! I hope you’ve all had a great couple of weeks and a fantastic Halloween, dressing up in your finest! Firstly, I would like to say a big thank you to everyone who contributed an article for this issue. As you will notice, this issue is absolutely jam packed with information for you and our new editors have had their work cut out for them. You may be interested to know that since electing our new team we’ve made some minor changes to The Stag. There is now a Science section and a Dance and Theatre section so make sure you check those out! So, what’s happening in the next couple of weeks? Well, there’s some great Union nights coming up like School Disco at Citrus – those of us who went last year will know that this is definitely a must! Don’t forget Fireworks night – whatever you’re doing! Going out, staying in, make sure you don’t forget Fireworks night on November 12th and have those sparklers at the ready! Laser Quest is coming back! Need I say more? For more information on all your Union events make sure you check out your Event Planner, centre page of this issue. Tear it out, put it on your wall, put it on your door, staple it to a friend if you must – just make sure you know what’s going on! Whatever you get up to I hope you all have a fun (but safe) Fireworks night and a fantastic fortnight!

In this issue..... News Pages 3 - 7 Features Campus Boy | Page 8 A Day in the Life of...| Page 11 Science| Pages 12 - 13 This Week in Welfare... | Page 14 Health| Page 15 Fashion | Page 16 & 17 Societies MadSoc| Page 18 PhotoSoc| Page 19 Arts Music | Pages 24 - 25 Dance & Theatre | Pages 26 - 28 Literature |Pages 29 - 30 Film | Pages 32 - 35

Enjoy the issue!

Sports Pages 37 - 39

Sara x

Save our stags, recycle your paper!

Sara Hadfield Editor Editor| Sara Hadfield : [email protected] News| Ben Pook : [email protected] Features| Mariam Nasir : [email protected] Societies| Bakita Kasadha : [email protected] Sports: | David Holt : [email protected] Music| Mark Allen : [email protected] Arts | Rachel Gildea: [email protected] Film | Ollie Sim : fi[email protected] Science| David Pugh : [email protected] Marketing | Tanvir Kaur : [email protected] Copy Editor | Ankur Banerjee The Stag is an editorially indepedent newspaper and is published by the University of Surrey Students’ Union. The views expressed in the paper are those of individual authors and do not necessarily represent the views of the editororial team, the Student’s Union or the University of Surrey. Printed by Surrey and Berkshire Media Limited Stoke Mill House, Woking Road, Guildford, Surrey GU1 1QA

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The Stag reserves the right to edit submissions. Please direct all enquiries to the relevant section editors.

Meet The New Stag Team 09/10 Hi, my name's Steff and I'm an English Literature and Creative Writing student. I have a strong passion for writing, hence my main role of Deputy Editor of the Newspaper - this involves laying up the newspaper before it is due out. However, I also do some writing such as news articles, short stories (‘The Mishaps of Jennifer Lee’) and reviews. I'm am an approachable person with many contacts within the newspaper, feel free to contact me - [email protected].

Deputy Editor (Design) Steff Lever

Hi everyone, my name is Tanvir Kaur Dhillon and I am the deputy editor of marketing for The Stag. I’m a first year student studying applied psychology and sociology. I initially wanted to apply for the news editor post but then when I heard about this post I became really interested, not to mention excited, because marketing has always been one of my favourite areas of product development. Marketing is a vast field as far as newspapers are concerned, because it requires you Deputy Editor (Marketing) to come up with creative ideas to catch Tanvir Kaur Dhillon someone’s attention.

Final year business management student - grew up in the unappealing neighborhood of Sutton, south London - interests include cooking, listening to urban music and expanding knowledge about new media. Favourite music: golden age hip-hop/Favourite film: Dead Poets Society.

News Editor Ben Pook My name is Mariam Nasir and I am your new Features Editor. I am a second year English Literature student. I hope to bring you all lots of new features with my new team of writers who are willing to take it a step further this year with The Stag. If you have any suggestions or if you want to write for features, feel free to drop me an email. We all always looking for fresh ideas and journalists. :)

Features Editor Mariam Nasir

Science Editor David Pugh

Hi there! My name is Dave, and I am this year’s Science Editor. I am currently in my second year of an MChem in chemistry with forensic investigation, where most of my research time involves trying to replace the air bubbles in an Aero bar with helium bubbles. In my spare time you can find me enjoying competitive weight lifting, iron man competitions, and jousting, from the comfort of my armchair in front of my TV. I am a good whistler, a bad loser and a tasteless joke enthusiast.I currently reside in Weston Road, Guildford Feel free to pop in any time!

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The synopsis of my life so far… I’m currently studying English Literature with Creative Writing and I work at Chancellors in my spare time. As Societies Editor of The Stag this year I hope to liaise with societies’ directors and members so that we can publicise events and bring more awareness of the societies the University has to offer. My name is Rachel Gildea and I recently became Arts Editor for the Stag. My first mission is to put the dance and theatre pages back in print so make sure you check out the new pages on those crucial art forms! I want Arts to be as diverse, interesting and creative as possible and we’re really open to new ideas. If you have any related articles you'd like to see in the paper please email them to the relevant email addresses. You can write about things that are happening on campus, in the department, in Guildford and the world beyond! This is your stage…I look forward to as many of you as possible getting involved. Your Paper, Your Say.

Arts Editor Rachel Gildea

Sports Editor David Holt

Hi guys, I'm Mark your new Music Editor! I'm a 3rd year Creative Music Tech student. I'm always going out to gigs, and love hearing some new music. I'm partial to all sorts of music, but my heart lies in indie/artrock and the odd bits of dance and electronica. If you have any ideas for the music section or what to get writing, get in touch or just come up and harass me in the union! Hello everyone, my name is David Holt, I’m a second year Sociology student and I am the Sports Editor for this year. I’m the person to come to if you want to get your sport involved with The Stag this year, or if you just fancy putting together an article on any sport of your choosing. I’m a fan of pretty much any sport, although my main interest is in football, and I’m one of the unlucky people who is stuck with supporting Southend United.

Hi, I'm Ankur, a first year student of Electronics & Computer Engineering. As copy editor my job involves reading every article published in The Stag and ensuring that no spelling / grammar / stylistic errors are made. When not toasting bread using a lightsaber or chanting the number 42, I spend my time rescuing beautiful monsters from ravening princesses and drinking cups of filthy liquid almost, but not quite, entirely unlike instant coffee.

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Societies Editor Bakita Kasadha

Music Editor Mark Allen

Copy Editor Ankur Banerjee

Students Loans Continued....

Ralph-Seymour Jackson attempted to justify his organisation’s role in the crisis by explaining how students made their lives harder by failing I called the London Borough of Sutton to submit the right information on time. This student office the next morning and with far statement is supported by the reasonably short less patience than before, I asked the same period between applying for a loan and starting questions. Interestingly, I discovered how my university. Also, human error predictably occurs form was on a desk with a note, which read when students complete their applications. “Contact student to confirm details”. Or, in Sympathy, however, ends here. Despite the rise other words: “Keep on the maybe pile until in applications, we can’t assume that a higher I can be bothered to do anything”. I’m still percentage of applications were submitted with waiting. incorrect information compared to previous Last month’s figures from the SLC suggest years. Contingency plans should have been in 39,000 applications are awaiting further place to manage an increase in submissions. information, another 39,000 have been given Also, SLC employees openly admit to systematic interim-payments, while 31,000 are still being errors over the phone. processed. I’m in full support of Streeting’s call for the The shadow universities secretary said “These resignation of the head of the Student Loans figures illustrate how the system has collapsed Company. This crisis could have been avoided this year. Ministers have created an over- if astute executive decisions were made before complicated system and have failed to tackle and during the initial stages of this year’s the problem.” Dave Willets went on to explain application process. It’s also encouraging to “Now students and their families are the victims. know that the President of National Union Even though we are well into the academic year, of Students is proactive in his approach to more than one in 10 students is still waiting for improving the life of students across the a proper assessment.” country. The President of the NUS continued by saying: “There’s a growing consensus that Blood Ban Continued....

of the argument that the ban is a medical decision based on statistics, In response to the recent rather than a political issues based developments, the government on discrimination. has explained that the ban is being reviewed and could be overturned The NHS Blood and Transplant by next year. The mounting pressure position statement explains: “Despite from campaigns such as Donation not improvements in blood screening Discrimination and developments in tests, a small number of infected New Zealand, Spain, Italy, Japan and donations may be missed because of Australia, where the lifetime ban has the ‘window period’ between getting been overturned and gay men can the infection and the test showing a donate in certain circumstances, has positive result”. forced the government to evaluate the current exclusion of high-risk Blood supplies are at threat due to the recent outbreak of swine-flu doners. and some campaigners argue that Peter Tatchell, the gay rights upturning the ban will benefit the campaigner, said: “This review of NBS’s ability to increase its supply. the blanket, lifetime ban on gay and Despite the mixed views, student bisexual men donating blood is long campaigners remain determined, overdue. The truth is that most gay as Daf Adley says: “The ban as it and bisexual men do not have HIV currently stands demeans their and will never have HIV. Their blood ability to participate in this altruistic is safe.” act, and contributes to a damaging and prejudiced perception of gay and On the contrary, some argue the ban bisexual men which belongs in the is not a gay rights issue, with people past.” commenting on websites: “People’s lives are at risk here; it is not a matter Find out more about the NUS of politics”. Recent figures suggest campaign at http://www.nus.org.uk that gay men have the highest risk of and join the debate in our Facebook new HIV infection, with 1 in 25 in the group or follow us on Twitter. UK living with HIV. This is in support Ben Pook

enough is enough. It’s not just the bungling of the process, but the fact that the SLC has been economical with the truth and have attempted to put the blame on students for applying late. We have absolutely no confidence in Ralph Seymour-Jones.” On a more positive note, despite Eamonn Armstrong, a final year student here at Surrey, finding himself without a loan until the end of October, the Business Management undergraduate remained in good mood during the process. “I was just looking forward to buying some new Playstation games and a few beers. I earned enough money during my placement to afford rent and the tuition fee isn’t really an issue because it goes straight to the uni from SLC”. Contact the Union for enquiries about financial support. Have you received your student loan? Join the debate on our Facebook page. Ben Pook

Don’t Get Caught Out! In the courts the following penalties were imposed by the disciplinary committee since the last edition of The Stag Theft from bar = two week ban from the Union Vandalism = community service (one afternoon picking litter) Violent Behaviour = three week ban from the Union Ticket touting = two week ban from the Union Unauthorised entry = three week ban from the Union Fixed penalties of a two week ban from the Union are now being issued for any student using a campus card under false pretences (using someone else’s campus card). Please remember reselling tickets for more than face value is ticket touting and against the conditions of sale.

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The Votes Are In! Your New Student Executives Are:

Union Chair: Sam Bull Ethics and Equal Opportunities Officer: Matthew Strange Environment Officer: Trung Communities Officer: Matthew Barker International Officer: Ashraf Khalifa Events Officer: Hitesh Teckchandani Postgraduate Research Officer: Adam Cole Postgraduate Taught Officer: Nikos Kalathas For full break down of results visit www.ussu.co.uk

Theft, Be Alert!

I left my coat in the teaching block on Monday 26th Oct. My carelessness, I know, but I didn’t expect someone to nick it! Yes, a tatty old thing: a year old. Now, don’t want you lot thinking I’m a tramp, I just wanted to get a good wear out of it! And it was acceptable to wear, just not to steal... Readers may now be wondering why I’m so vexed about it. Well it’s this: my keys were in it... the keys to everything (Guildford, aunt’s and my London house)! So when I got home I had call the locksmith and fork out £80 quid to get my bedroom door unlocked and the key copied; (laugh if you will, till the same thing happens to you, mate) whilst this person is gallivanting around with MY coat. You know what? If you’re the person who has my coat, you can keep it! Just give me back the keys. I doubt they‘re of any use to you, unless you’re planning on following me home. (And if you do, I’ll be waiting!) Till next time. .B.

NEW to SPLASH for 2009/10

NEW to SPLASH for 2009/10

Check out our PODCASTS on a variety of study related topics: www.surrey.ac.uk/skills/splash/podcasts Topics so far:

Writing your first University Essay Writing a Reflection Study Jargon Buster   *COMPETITION* - submit your ideas for podcast topics you’d find really useful to your studies to SPLASH by Friday 27th November by emailing: [email protected] !!Prizes for the 5 best ideas!!

NEW to SPLASH for Taught Master’s students

Visit SPLASH and find out how to be your BEST!

SPLASH INTERACTIVE is a virtual resource for all PGTs. Here you can find help about postgraduate level writing, presentations, and group work.   You can access video clips, tutorials, and workshop slides. You can also post questions on any aspect of study support for other students to help you with or you can contact a SPLASH Learning adviser for help.   All you need to do to access this resource is to go to  http://splashinteractive.ning.com and sign up.

WRITING help with Jackie Wills – our new Royal Literary Fund Fellow Workshops for UGs and Master’s students 1:1 or small group sessions with a Learning Adviser   Drop-in sessions every day of the week for learning advice, help finding library resources, PebblePad and Royal Literary Fund Fellow. Check out the website for details and to book appointments:   www.surrey.ac.uk/skills/splash See you in SPLASH!!

Are YOU Living with a Killer? Carbon Monoxide (CO) is the highly poisonous product of incomplete combustion of gas. Also known as the ‘silent killer’, CO can be caused when gas appliances are faulty and allow CO to escape. You cannot smell Carbon Monoxide so it is highly dangerous. The symptoms include fatigue, muscle pain, upset stomach and headaches.

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If you live in a rented house with gas appliances, by law, they must be checked and serviced at least once a year. To prove this is done your landlord should give you or display a safety certificate that details for the appliances (boilers, room heaters, cookers etc). If you are not sure whether your appliance have been checked ask you landlord for the latest safety certificate.

FREE Carbon monoxide detectors! Southern gas networks have given the Accommodation Office 50 Carbon monoxide alarm units to give away,

free, to students living in the private sector. These detectors retail at £20 - £30 and provide early warning of CO. In return all you need to do is fill in a very short questionnaire for Southern Gas. You can pick up a detector, first come, first served, from the Accommodation Office counter which is open daily 10 -12.30 and 1.30 to 4.00 Monday to Friday.

Graduate Despair Inspires New Entrepreneur As a graduate of June 2008, the economic climate did not appear to be one of doom and gloom, the economy was in apparent good health and the prospect of getting a job did not spark fear into every graduate and unemployed person in the country. With a solid 2.1 BA Hons in Politics from the University of Nottingham, I thought that perhaps employees might be phoning me up. It was with this in mind which inspired many in my situation to look forward to a year out before the inevitable lifetime of hard work in an office began. I managed to find work in a local pub and was to work full time up until December when my flight would leave for Canada where I was going to do a ski season. As we reached September the bottom seemed to fall out of the UK’s economy and being a little smug, I thought that it was just as well I was not applying to jobs just then. December came, the ski season had arrived and we had an amazing time, partly due to the fact that the ski slopes were empty due to a certain global recession, but that really was the last thing on our minds as we were whizzing down black runs and 360’ing off of rocks. However, as with any holiday the ski season had to come to an end, and so it was after having spent every penny I had (well that the bank would lend me) that I returned to England in the middle of May.

country and having not so much as received an interview I started to get a little concerned. By this time, having spent a short period claiming jobseekers, I had returned to my old job doing part-time shifts down the local pub so that I could pay my parents some rent. Thoroughly fed up with receiving rejection letter after blooming rejection letter I decided to take matters into my own hands. This is when StudentToys.co.uk was created. I wanted to start my own business, and the market I knew more than any other was the student market. What I wanted to do was to create a single student shop that sells all the things that students buy. As a big kid myself I wanted to start off in the market of fun products and so fancy dress, big boys toys and posters were the things I decided to incorporate first of all, all products that I knew students were buying, but from a number of different places. A budget of zero and a maxed out overdraft would have been enough to put most people off the idea of setting up a business on their own, but again as an optimist I just saw it as a challenge.... and a challenge it was.

After trawling through the internet for days and weeks, phoning different website companies and getting quotes in the thousands, I finally found what I was looking for and used an online free web template to create my store. So having found a web store I thought that it might be a good idea to find something to sell. My first thought was that I would use dropshipping, which would mean I wouldn’t have to buy any stock and so my risk would be limited. The major problem with this was that I could not find drop-shippers that would sell the low cost products that I know students buy and so therefore there was no point and no sense in using this method. So, the riskier option it was then, I would have to buy stock. An issue with this was of course the buying aspect - buying seems to be rather difficult without any money to do it with. Not a problem, I would increase my hours working in pubs I thought, and so I managed to get a second pub job and saved about £300 to buy the stock I required to start. There it was, StudentToys.co.uk was a reality, (well after setting up a business account, payment methods and a load of other stuff), it was now my job to do the hard part..... sell things, a chapter that is now starting to be written. And so here I am telling you about StudentToys. co.uk, partly to inspire you from the doom and gloom of the global recession and depressed job markets, and partly because you might decide that after all what you have really been missing from your life is a giant elephant fancy dress costume at a bargain price....

I snapped up the domain name of StudentToys. co.uk as I felt that it had an element of fun about it along with a certain amount of mystery that could appeal to students and intrigue them into checking it out. The fact that I knew diddly squat about website design or about setting up Not having been too interested by the economic a business from scratch were again not enough doom and gloom whilst away, I now found of a deterrent to stop me from giving it a crack. myself returning to England amongst the That’s what the Internet is for I thought to most depressed job markets that had ever myself. Google will tell me these things, Google been seen in the UK. So three months later knows all I thought. And right I was.... kind of. Freddie Williams, BA Hons, Managing Director of StudentToys.co.uk. having seemingly applied to every job in the

Halloween Ticket Issues

There have been many complaints regarding the Flirt! Halloween tickets and we would like to provide clarification for students.

students purchasing, in some cases up to ten or twelve tickets at a time. As a result of this, tickets sold out at 1pm on Monday.

On popular nights such as, Halloween and Fetish nights, student tickets are supposed to be sold at a maximum of two tickets per person. However, on regular nights these student ticket maximums are more flexible.

The reason for this problem was simply a breakdown in communication and the Union would like to apologise and assure that this will not happen again.

Unfortunately the Halloween tickets were sold with no maximum inputted and therefore resulted in

Please be aware that Fetish and Christmas tickets will now be sold from the Union NOT the Bookshop to ensure that this does not happen again. 7

Travel

Do you ever close your eyes and visualize a place that you have always dreamt of going to? To explore, to find some sense of yourself or even for adventure… Sometimes we just want to escape reality or just taste another culture and lifestyle that is not our own, because the unknown always seems better.

Many times I have come across people in my life saying, “I’ve always wanted to go to ___ but..” or “I want to take a gap year and travel but___”… There is always a ‘but’ or a ‘maybe someday I will..’; the future is always an easy excuse. But the basic reality is, everyone should travel, everyone should take the opportunity and risk to visit a place you’ve never been, because in my own personal experience, that is the best way to develop as a person and gain knowledge that is life changing and shapes you into a more tolerant and open minded person. Recently one of my lecturers mentioned the term provincialism, which is basically a small town way of thinking. That is people who make generalizations or assumptions about other countries and cultures (without having ever been there and without factual knowledge), often creating negative stereotypes, and these people deserve a slap on the face. Don’t be one of them, open your eyes and dare to challenge the negative images of other countries that society has created. Not everyone in Australia is a slag; that is not a fact. ‘Our nature lies in movement, complete calm is death’ – Blaise Pascal, 1640 How many of you have taken the opportunity to travel? Summer has just gone by and did you watch it go by? What would you have changed? Maybe for

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some it would be nothing, but my advice is you only live once, and live it like everyday is your last. Every week I will be exploring a new country and its culture, its lifestyle and its romantic charm. But it’s not all meant to be so serious and life changing. Sometimes we travel because we just need an effin’ break from life. It’s relaxing, or we go to get totally trashed. For whatever reason we need to leave home and venture into a new world, travelling is always good (kind of like some of you freshers who have just left home for the first time). However I can think of some funny stories that prove that the later is not always 100% on point; that is yet to come…. Every week I shall be writing about a different country, town, village or paradise getaway. As an international student I like to think of my self as multicultural. Having grown up in the Caribbean and further educated in Madrid. Along with this I will also include the top cocktail/drink of said place, best clubs and shopping districts! As well as info on where to stay and cheap holidays! (That kinda advice can only benefit every student.) But now that I have kind of built up the suspense, I shall leave you to ponder, for the best is yet to come. Now that I’ve said all this I hope I can actually write an interesting article about…. SPAIN. WOOO! This isn’t all about my opinion though guys, feel free to hit me up with advice on any awesome getaways or even suggest a country/ place for me to write about next. You can contact the writers in The Stag at [email protected]

Campus Boy “It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me....” With my recent return to campus upon me I have to admit my mind has been inevitably drifting back to the dying days of September, watching the calendar count down on October the 5th and the feelings I had towards again pacing the walkways between buildings on campus when the sun still rose noiselessly over the Cathedral. Without the standard late students rushing to tutorials but instead the pavements heaving with fresh faced freshers trying to work out exactly how the building to room number orientation works on campus. Unsurprising too is the fact I find myself falling back into habits I foolishly believed I had deserted at the end of the last academic year. That somehow the last few months away from the restrictions of an essay-ridden timetable had left me with a new resolute and unwavering maturity to act in favour of my education. I doubt however that I am the only one who still can’t get out of bed within 20 minutes of my alarm going off, even though being fully aware it will make me late, or the compulsory stop to the nearest shop for some kind of rushed breakfast that leaves you walking into the lecture ten minutes late to the mixture of disappointed, tired and envious faces of your coursemates facing the projector. Yet all these fail to compare to that which resurfaced one night recently as I found myself alone in my room on a weekday night facing an evening with the preliminary readings for this term’s modules. Now those who have spent a carefree summer with friends and family, possibly in a sunnier location than Guildford may have had the opportunity to forget about the wraith that haunts the campus accommodation, the real monster in your closet you should be afraid of. But don’t be fooled, reader, this creature doesn’t wait until you’re asleep to surface from the darkest corners of your room. As far as most victims go, the last thing they remember seeing is their own essay on the computer monitor as it’s hideous hands wrap around their neck, lean in towards them and breathes it’s name into their ear. It’s name is procrastination. That seemingly harmless thought that wanders into your mind every so often whilst you’re working, nudging you towards checking Facebook once more before you finish the paragraph and leaving MSN open on your display bar with four open and active conversations. Or maybe you have a routine of websites that you just HAVE to check at least once a day. Again, I cannot be the only one who thinks that there should be a ban on certain applications during term time, or definitely a book of regulations that highlight the dangers of using them. For instance,

ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present to you Farmville. Nothing sidetracks the hard working and valiant student better at any time during the day than their sudden realisation that it is imperative their cotton crops are harvested before nine o’clock, lest the whole agricultural schedule go out the window. This could easily be substituted for certain girls’ faith in the cosmic wisdom of Facebook to look to the stars and tell them the first letter of the name of the man they are going to marry. Procrastination is always waiting. I mean even now as I’m scribbling away in my notebook like some angsty teen songwriter I can hear the thing itself pointing out that my housemate is watching a trashy drama in the living room that may sway me to put down my pen for an hour or so and indulge in some petty relationship squabbling, the occasional murder and some morale building speeches from a bald basketball coach. Now, after a while we all find our ways of dealing with the said resident abomination, whether it’s sheer will power to ignore your onhold social life, the sheer deadline approaching or some special scented candles you have that help you concentrate - I don’t know. Personally I find drowning him out with the brute power of iTunes quite helpful in most instances. So remember boys and girls when you next think about surfing the net for hours on end in place of doing something that people would consider far more important and on the whole far less enjoyable, that monster has a habit of letting you keep those rose tinted glasses firmly over your eyes until you stumble altogether blind into the revision period before your exams. Anyway, I hope you feel the infamous Campus Boy has lost none of his original potency over the summer in this latest form. I think the whole point is giving you guys the heads up on the inner most of goings on of our fair campus from my perspective. That is, without turning Surrey uni into a spin off of that gossip girl woman because unfortunately despite my vast fountain of knowledge I’m not privy to which lecturers have secret histories as adult film stars, failed clowns or Martians. Apologies but that’s all for this fortnight.

Ex Oh Ex Oh

Campus Boy

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Hoodies available in Navy | Grey Black | Fuschia | Lime X small | Small | Medium | Large Limited colours also available in XL and XXL

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Come and meet the Vice-Chancellor and get a free lunch!

The Vice-Chancellor’s Student Lunches Open to all students this is an opportunity for representatives from the student community to come and meet informally with the Vice-Chancellor over a buffet lunch, for the mutual exchange of information, ideas and opinions.

There will be four Student Lunches held this term. Students

Date

Time

Venue

Undergraduates

Monday 26 October

1pm - 2pm

Oak 1 and 2

PG Taught

Friday 20 November

12.30pm - 1.30pm

Ivy Room

Undergraduates

Monday 23 November

12.30pm - 1.30pm

Oak 1 and 2

PG Research

Monday 14 December

12.30pm - 1.30pm

Oak 1 and 2

If you’d like to come along please email [email protected] Please include your name, the subject you are studying and whether you are an undergraduate or postgraduate, your year of study and a contact phone number. It would also be helpful if you could include a brief description of any issues you would like to raise or a question you would like to ask.

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www.surrey.ac.uk 2415-1009

A Day in the Life of..... Elizabeth Simos

Student Unions form a huge part of educational systems. They are there to help with the students raising their voice and being represented as well as to form sport clubs or societies. Student unions have always been a part of our lives, in school as well as at university and this microcosm of a world which our university is formed of is ruled by the president and the students. Every year, we see manifestos and people going for Vice Presidents and President Positions. Well...to be honest it does look amazing on your CV, but is it just more than just sitting in your own private office watching videos on YouTube and Facebooking? Well, I went to investigate and going straight to the source, Elizabeth Simos (USSU President) gave me plenty to think about and reassess. Being president of a student body, one which is as large as USSU, is an enormous responsibility and Elizabeth does not shy from getting the work done and doing it with a smile. She has a lot of work to do and her job mainly revolves around “being the main contact of all the university, so we sit in all the senior strategic meetings with the university, and are responsible for the day to day... everything that happens within the student union – commercial activities, events, Chancellors and so forth. I look over all the areas that the vice presidents run and I am also responsible for any of the union campaigns and together with all the part-time executives we are there to ensure democracy takes place”. Speaking of which, democracy is the most essential tool in our students union. It enables anyone, and

I mean any student, to run for any position; create a manifesto and get elected. It is purely democratic and the only fair way to proceed. To run this USSU, every year the elections take place and we, the students, raise our voice and choose who we want to represent us. Lucky for us, all the candidates are usually well known even before their manifestos start and well liked. Elizabeth started off as being the Vice President of the Law Society, and then moved on to become President of it. This, along with being the student representative for 3 years added more credibility to her being able to do this job; “I really enjoyed representing my fellow course mates and also running a departmental society”, running for president was her taking it a step further. She was the president of our USSU last year and this is her second year as president. I ventured to ask why to which she replied “within my first sabbatical year that I hadn’t finished everything I wanted to do and there were things that were going to happen after I’d gone which I wanted to be a part of. So I decided to extend my time in office and exhaust every opportunity to represent students just because I enjoy it so much” It does seem like our USSU is getting better every year, with a stronger and more determined team every year, student government is looking good – which we can’t say for the real government, but anyway. These are the people who represent us to the university and we want them to be able to get our voices heard. One of the things which happened last year was the 24 hour library access. This was thanks to the USSU which assured that library was open 24 hours in exam time in Christmas and summer. Another issue which Elizabeth wants to tackle this year is to “build all the bridges of communication that aren’t as good as they need to be” - this goes for students, societies and sabbaticals. This is an important issue because in order to bring forward what the students want, she need to know what it is and that can only be done when students speak up and take opportunities to be represented. Although aspects of being the USSU President requires some sort of professional relationship, she tries to keep

that with the university; with students it’s all about socialising and being approachable. The “best bit” of the job revolves around interacting with students, on Freshers Fayre or promoting student parliament. (We all saw her do the Macarena on the library steps during part-time exec elections – approachable or what?) It is not all fun and games for Elizabeth. I asked her to tell me about a typical day being President. “There isn’t a typical day and that is the absolute beauty of being president. In one day you can start off at 8am and finish at 2am at night”, it is a job which comprises a diverse range of issues everyday starting from meeting with university, social events, speeches and finances. This being a bit too vague, she offered to show me her calendar – which was absolutely packed with meetings. I had not realised until I interviewed her, that the job of president includes handling finances, managing meeting regarding grants, execs, students, Chancellors, Rubix – the list goes on and on and yet, she is calm because having done this for a year, she is more capable than anyone to handle it. Her advice to anyone who wants to go for this position is that they should “work hard for the students who have given them such a great opportunity” and also it being “an incredible learning experience in terms of all the diverse individuals you get to meet”. I can imagine that you do meet a lot of people and make some incredible friendships which would last even after university. Lastly, I asked her how being a president for a second year compares with being a newbie just entering the students union. Having been president for a whole year has given her the opportunity to get over the massive learning curve and break into her role better. She knows how the union runs which in turn makes it easier to represent the students to the university. I couldn’t agree with her more on this. After this, Elizabeth is off to do better to the rest of the world and do her masters and eventually become a barrister. Good Luck! Mariam Noor

Diwali and Bandi Chor Divas - Festivals For All

Diwali for many is just a festival of lights where one lights a candle, wears new clothes, exchanges gifts and lights fireworks to end the night. Diwali holds special significance as it marks the day when Ram returned from his exile, in Hindu religion, and rows of candles were used to light up his path. Ram, being one of the most renowned Hindu gods, is revered and worshipped by many and was seen as being the ideal king. Lakshmi Puja (worship of goddess Lakshmi) is popular during Diwali. In Diwali, it is also common to buy new, beautiful clothes and sweets such as jalebis, gulab jamuns, etc and distribute them among family and friends to show the sweetness that should always be maintained between everyone.

Diwali is also a spiritual celebration of the “inner light” (soul), where one realises that true happiness can only be obtained by love and compassion to all. Another well-known festival that takes place around Diwali is Bandi Chor Divas. This is a Sikh festival which celebrates the release of the sixth Sikh guru - Guru Hargobind Sahib - from prison; who through selfless service and love was able to free 52 Hindu princes from the prison of Gwalior fort in 1619. Guru Hargobind Sahib was to be released from the prison of the then Mughal emperor Jahangir, who had been brainwashed against the guru. However, Guru Hargobind Sahib refused to leave the prison without the 52 wrongly accused Hindu princes, and ultimately Jahangir was forced to release them too.

This is a time of the year to reflect on those who have been wrongly accused, placed in prison without any fault and to think of any way in which you could help those unfortunate ones. In these modern times, Bandi Chor Divas is celebrated by Sikhs, through the lighting of candles to show happiness and fireworks to let everyone know of the great day in their history.

Tanvir Kaur Dhillon

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Science...

With David Pugh

BANG! Fireworks Made Simple

WARNING! If you, like millions of people in the UK, love the magical illusion that fireworks give then stop reading now - this article is not for you. I am about to reduce fireworks to a scientific phenomenon, trust me, in about five minutes. All the magic and wonder of fireworks will be gone, and you will no longer watch fireworks thinking “oooh pretty colours” but rather “oooh potassium”. With fireworks night just round the corner I would like to take this opportunity to explain just what it is that makes the sky light up every 5th November. We celebrate fireworks night every year to mark the victory of the British government against terrorist Guy Fawkes and his gang of meddlers when trying to blow up the houses of parliament in 1605. Guy Fawkes, Robert Catesby and their plotters planned to tunnel underneath the House of Lords where members of the House of Lords and the House of Commons as well as King James I would be present for the state opening of parliament. Here they would explode 36 barrels of gunpowder, wiping out the entire ruling class of the country to begin a Catholic uprising. At midnight on November 4th guards searched the Palace of Westminster, where Guy Fawkes was found with enough explosives to blow out all the windows in a one kilometre radius. Fawkes was tortured and eventually gave up the names of Catesby and the other plotters who had gone into hiding in Warwick Castle. So now we celebrate every year by standing on PATS field in the cold and the wet, gazing up at the sky in marvel and wonder as explosions go off above our heads. But just what is going on? Well, first let’s take a look at the structure of the firework, and the explosion that it makes. The firework takes off from the ground with rapid acceleration due to a mortar. The mortar is usually a short, steel pipe with a lifting charge of gun powder that explodes in the pipe

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to launch the firework. When the lifting charge fires to launch, it lights the fuse. This burns while the shell rises to its correct altitude, and then ignites the bursting charge such that it explodes. Fireworks often contain explosive charges to explode after the propellant charge burns out.

with the lowest energy level at the bottom flat. If you supply enough energy to an atom - like in an explosion - an electron can spontaneously jump to a higher floor - or a higher energy level. This is called an excited state. However, the atom doesn’t really like this state (the electron gets lonely being so far away from its electron buddies) and so jumps back down, and the By definition, an explosion occurs when a rate energy it used to get up to the higher level is of reaction becomes infinitely fast. To explode, released as light energy. This means that when a system must have an oxidising agent (a some elements, including Sodium, Lithium, substance to provide oxygen and remove Calcium and Potassium explode, we perceive electrons) such as Potassium Nitrate, and fuels this as a bright and exciting flame colour. such as Carbon, Sulphur or Hydrogen. So in our firework we have our explosive charge, with small balls of explosive material and some of our colourful elements, known as ‘stars’ in the firework industry. The arrangement of stars inside a firework will result in you observing different shapes and displays. For example, if these pellets are equally spaced in a circle, with black powder (an explosive mixture of Potassium Nitrate, Sulphur and Charcoal) inside the circle, you will see an aerial display of smaller star explosions equally spaced in a circle. To create a figure in the sky, you need to create an outline of the display in star When this mixture goes off, molecules break pellets, surround them as a group with a layer down into the atoms they’re made of then of break charges to separate them from the quickly rearrange into small stable molecules rest of the contents of your shell, and place - usually water (H2O), Carbon Dioxide (CO2), explosive charges into the centre of the pellets Carbon Monoxide (CO), and Nitrogen (N2). What to blow them outward into a large figure. Each you will see is this massive explosion in a variety charge has to be ignited at exactly the right time of colours, and this is down to a clever bit of or the whole thing is ruined. quantum mechanics... And there you have it! With some relatively To understand this, we’re gonna have to go right simple science we have an amazing display of back to the start - to the structure of atoms, colour, sound and excitement. So next Thursday and, to put it simply, everything you learnt in when you’re watching all the excitement on PATS GCSE double science is wrong. Well, sort of. field, have a go at seeing how many elements you can spot in the sky! Imagine you have an atom that has protons and neutrons at the centre with electrons David Pugh around it. With me so far yes? Imagine that the electrons all live in an atomic block of flats, where electrons live on the bottom floor, and there are lots of empty floors above them. Each of these floors has an associated energy level,

[email protected]

The Science of Fear By David Pugh

So we’ve just recovered from that time of year again when every shop was full of pumpkins, bats and overpriced chocolate, and why was this? Halloween! Obviously nobody really knows why we celebrate but at Surrey we love an excuse to party! Whether you spent last Friday at the union, with your housemates or on the ChemSoc Halloween pub crawl (best night ever!!!) you will no doubt be a bit excited about it!

antlers, hooves, horns or tusks – the animal will probably struggle to survive. Flight distance depends on several factors:

So this got me thinking... with all these horror films in the cinema, humungous roller coasters at Thorpe Park, zombie games in the Xbox and Michael Jackson’s Thriller playing almost constantly on the radio, why do we love being so scared? What is it about that shock factor that we love so much, and more importantly, what’s going on inside us when we get that spooky sensation... Our mini journey of scientific endeavour begins hundreds of thousands of years ago, when me, you, and everyone we know was a caveman (or cave lady) and we would spend our days fighting dinosaurs and eating woolly mammoths. We would have to make snap decisions. Every day would be a matter of life or death, and it’s all down to something we scientists call ‘fight or flight’. Imagine you are a walking across Stag Hill, many, many years ago. You’ve just caught a sabre tooth tiger for dinner and are looking forward to a quiet night in with your cave mates, when all of a sudden, YOU SEE A RUDDY GREAT BIG CAVE BEAR!!!! You can see the hunger in its eyes and it fancies a bit of you. You have two options: run away as fast as your little legs will carry you, or fight it, kill it and make yourself a nice fur coat; this is when your flight or flight response kicks in. All mammals, birds and reptiles have a part of the brain called the amygdala. It’s small, round and sits towards the back of your head. Its functions are to keep memories and to scan for danger; if a threat is detected it makes your body respond, and fast. So you’ve seen this bear, and your amygdala has detected it; your body needs to prepare. Within a matter of milliseconds adrenaline is released, and this is where it starts to get a bit exciting. Adrenaline sends every cell in your body wild with excitement; your heart and lungs work faster, blood vessels dilate, your reflexes get a lot faster and your digestive system all but stops. This results in you experiencing a rush of panic, excitement and anger ready to fight off any predator that comes to close. Should we fight? Or should we fly? Most animals won’t flee the approaching predator until it gets within a critical distance, called the flight distance. This distance changes between species and even for each individual animal, depending on the circumstances. We can measure this distance to estimate how much ‘fear’ animals are experiencing at any point in time. Running away wastes time and energy that could otherwise be spent on important stuff, like eating or looking for food, drinking water or protecting lovers. But if a predator is within striking distance, the most important thing will be for the prey animal to save its skin. If a prey animal has nowhere to go or has no hope of making an escape, it will usually try and fight its predator. Using any built-in fighting tools it has – claws,

• The distance of the prey animal from a good hiding place, its burrow, a tree or a lake. • The importance of the activity the prey animal is engaged in. • How fast the predator is approaching. • The size of the predator. • The prey animal's fitness and ability to get away. The more threatened an animal feels, the longer its flight distance will be. Basically, if an animal has reason to be trembling in its little animal boots, it probably won't let a predator get anywhere near it. A little known scientist called Charles Darwin observed our reactions to stress and danger many years ago in a book called Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals (Don’t bother reading it, it’s actually quite dull) in which he wrote that we have a lot of leftover fear in our bodies from long, long, ago, when our early ancestors had to battle fear on a daily basis. An example of this is when our hair stands on end when we are frightened, due to involuntary muscle spasms. This goes way back to when we were considerably more hairy and all of our hairs stood on end would make us look a little bit scary to beasts and nasty creatures. So this large amount of adrenaline is part of the reason we watch endless films about ghosts and monsters and the 1970s version of The Omen (watch it the night before you graduate, you’ll understand when you see it). But that’s not the full story... The brain is really quite a remarkable thing, and while it’s making your body go crazy with emotions due to adrenaline, it’s also getting you high on chemical messengers, called neurotransmitters, which carry signals between neurons in the brain and body. Scientists believe that you thrill-seeking daredevil types get more enjoyment out of such crazy fear-inducing activities because your levels of a neurotransmitter called dopamine increase more than normal during such experiences. This results in a feeling of pleasure or euphoria. Thrill seekers are obviously on one end of a spectrum of fear. While they are as close to fearless as anyone can be, those at the other end are extremely fearful. Most of us lie somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, and

love the occasional thrilling experience. Our brains are unable to find a difference between truly terrifying experiences and artificially created experiences, made to make us fearful. This allows for scary stuff, like horror movies, haunted houses and roller coasters, which allow us to experience fear without (hopefully) ever risking physical danger. In 1949, Psycho director Alfred Hitchcock had this to say; “For every person who seeks fear in the real or personal sense, millions seek it vicariously, in the theatre and in the cinema. In darkened auditoriums they identify themselves with fictitious characters who are experiencing fear, and experience, themselves, the same fear sensations (the quickened pulse, the alternately dry and damp palm, etc.), but without paying the price” Obviously all of us at Surrey are hardcore thrill seekers, and we are pretty much fearless, but what about the rest of the country? How can we help them? Reasonable fear is a very good thing. It keeps us safe when we’re out, protects us from beasties, and give us a rush every so often. But fear can quite easily spiral out of control, and result in many anxiety disorders such as panic attacks, social anxieties and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). These disorders are very real and are affected by runaway activity in the brain and can give you the effects of the fight of flight response at incredibly inappropriate times, resulting in tightening of the throat, chest discomfort and hot flushes. Approximately 18% of people suffer with some form of fear disorder. That’s a whopping 2160 undergrads on campus today! The most common form of anxiety disorders are phobias - an irrational & persistent fear of a situation, person or thing. These are, once again, linked to the amygdala and are another form of the fight or flight response. It is generally accepted that phobias are triggered by events such as traumatic experiences at a young age. These triggering events occur when your mind is still very much developing and you are a very impressionable young person, therefore there are a wide variety of phobias. Ranging from the common, such as arachnophobia (fear of spiders) to the more bizarre like zemmiphobia (fear of the great mole rat). Today, phobias are easily treatable through a mixture of counselling, psychotherapy and cognitive behavioural therapy. The subject is gradually exposed to their fear over a period of time and progressively the fear disappears. So next time you sit down with your boyfriend, girlfriend, housemate or person you met in the union to enjoy a few hours of blood, guts and murder on the telly, have a think about what’s going on in your body…and how you’re giving your brain one hell of a workout! Don’t have nightmares....

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This Week In Welfare......

It’s 8.07am on cold, damp morning deep in the heart of autumn 2009. The distant horizon stretches into a sea of foggy grey and a few birds sing their solitary song. The majority of the University of Surrey is asleep; still recovering from the escapades and adventures of the night before or that last minute cram for the midterm exam. For most, the rigours of daily life seem far away from the warm comforting cocoon of the duvet. For me, the duvet is a distant memory, confined only to my now ever too regular daydreams. Instead I sit in seat 33A of Virgin’s 8:00am London Euston to Manchester service. My duvet has now been replaced with only a cramped seat and the sort of gormless expression reserved for only those who have spent their entire morning in the midst of London’s very finest commuters. So why, you may ask, have I wilfully put myself in this position? Why have I given up the chance to get my full 8 hours to instead sit beside a man intent on reviewing his previous night out through the medium of his phones video player - a device apparently acutely engineered to produce the maximum amount of volume and the lowest possible sound quality? The answer, because I am the University of Surrey Student Union’s own Vice President for Welfare. That means it’s my responsibility to ensure the highest possible standard of lifestyle, safety, security, health and wellbeing of all the students at

the University - be they Undergrads, Postgrads, Full Timers, Part Timers, International, or home-based, mature students or any other group you wish to think of. Today I’m representing Surrey at the NUS zone conference in Manchester, learning about best practices from experts and peers alike and finding out how the National Union of Students can support the students of Surrey.

But I’m not off gallivanting round the country every day of the week. Most days you’ll find me working on projects closer to home. Just this last week alone I’ve been working on improving water provision around campus; offering everyone a chance to fill up their water bottles throughout the day instead of being forced to pay full price for the bottled alternative. On a larger scale I’ve been helping mount pressure on the local council to upgrade the road crossing facilities offered on the route between Manor Park and the main University Campus. Day to day, my todo list may list anything from student loan payments to postering policies to accommodation complaints and academic appeals. So really I’m like your University lifestyle on-site mechanic, sitting at my desk in my metaphorical oily boiler suit; replacing a faulty accommodation provision here, adding a nice new shiny water service there and touching up all those little things you need to make your University experience as good as it can be. The only difference is that I deal with Welfare, not cars. Oh, and I won’t rip you off just because you’re wearing high heels.

I can only make things better if I know it’s going to make a difference. I’m here to do the dirty work and make your time at University better, but I need you to let me know what ticks you off in the first place. So what is it you’d like to see changing about your University life? Maybe your room heating doesn’t work properly and you’d like someone sort it out? Maybe you think campus internet is slightly harder to use or less reliable than you’d have hoped? Maybe you’d like to see Tesco allow people to use trolleys to walk their shopping back home? Maybe you just like Jordan to shut up and go away? So anyway, two days later and I’m back in the office and working hard. The conference went well; covering all sorts of important issues from alcohol and sexual health to the specialist requirements of groups such as student parents – so plenty of ideas to bring back to Surrey. We even squeezed in a trip to Manchester Metropolitan students union to see how they do things. It’s not a scratch on Surrey, except for the fact that they have a sunglasses vending machine... Moment of the week: Dressing up as a giant condom and walking round campus promoting the health fair.

Tip of the week: Money week taking place this week (2nd – 6th of November) in the lecture theatre concourse. Not only could it save you a bundle but there’s a good chance of freebies too!

But still, why does this matter to you, the reader? You’re sitting there in your nice warm kitchen, filling your mind with the type of wholesome goodness only ‘The Stag’ can offer, and waiting for your Pot Noodle to finish itself off in the microwave. Why should you care? The answer, because I can only look into issues that you tell me about, I can only create solutions to problems that I know exist and

Ta-ra for now

and disciplines.

stress-free as possible, and in response to this, we are there to inform, guide and help out in any way that we can. Even if absolutely everything is going well with you as is sometimes the situation, we do love just chatting to you. Personally, I have received so much info, tips and news from my mentees that I wouldn’t have had it not been for the interaction which our role allows.

Malcolm Hunt, VP Welfare If you want me to look into an issue for you simply send me an email to [email protected] or add me on Facebook (look for VP Welfare in the University of Surrey network)

Court-Life Mentoring: It’s Not Quite What You Think...

If you’re living in university accommodation by now you’ve probably been ‘welcomed’ (or disturbed!) by someone who has introduced themselves as your ‘mentor’. You can recognise them by their navy polo shirts imprinted with bright, funny-looking caricature characters in the corner – and of course, not forgetting, their plastic boxes sharing resemblances with the likes of ‘Handy-Andy’ (a helmet would definitely help complete the look). No, unfortunately our boxes are not filled with edible goodies, as has been suggested - but do expect a freebie shortly, courtesy of the court-life mentoring service! So, who exactly are we? And why do we intrude onto your premises each week, and knock upon your precious wooden doors and leave behind a colourful trail of ‘sorry we missed’ you labels wherever we go? Why do we even suppose that you may need a mentor? These are some of the things you might have asked yourselves, or indeed have said behind our backs (go on admit it!). Well, to answer these questions, the mentoring scheme is a programme which is run by the Student Care Services to monitor and respond to the welfare of students at Surrey University, across all levels

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To understand our role better, it would probably be better, not to take the term ‘mentor’ so literally, but rather treat it as an expression and substitute it for the word ‘friendly person’ instead, or better yet, ‘professional buddy’ (don’t mock!). We are there to attend to any problems or queries that you may have, by helping to direct you to the service/s best suited, to help you take action. Whatever the nature of the problem - whether personal, financial, academic or communal - we are well informed of the variety of services on offer at the university, including their specialisations, in order to let you know what steps you should take. For example, did you know that the Careers Service can help you to write and tweak your CV, and also help you get ready for an interview by arranging a practise one with you? In addition to this, there are many valuable resources available at the university, which many people may not be aware about, and cannot therefore make the most of them, as and when they need to. We want the your student experience to be as

Being able to meet and chat with so many new and diverse people surely has to be the highlight of the court-life mentoring programme. We find that we learn and find out so much ourselves from the people we see, and develop some great relationships with our mentees - you definitely make the mentoring experience a lively and fulfilling one! I’m sure I speak for all court-life mentors, when I say that the court-life mentoring programme is as much fun as it is work…so thank you. Rebecca Ameyinoge *N.B Please remember that the information that you disclose privately will be treated confidentially and protected from disclosure.

Let’s Talk About Sex!

Let me set the scene: union bar, two-forone drinks, eyes meet across the dance floor and wham there is an explosion! Your mind is full of excitement, your body awash with hormones! The last things on your mind are the practicalities!! Where  do we go from the union? Do you know this person? Where have they been before? How do I broach the subject of condoms? Where can I get condoms when I need them? So much to think about, so little time!

sex and sexual experiences is an essential have symptoms. Chlamydia, for example, if left part of the equation as it impacts on life, work, untreated can leave both males and females infertile. It is essential that you have a sexual socialising and future relationships. health screen after any episode of unprotected Statistics show that many students have their sex as most infections can be treated. first sexual experience at university and I have it on good authority that the University of Surrey  At the right place and time, sex can be fun and is no exception. Be prepared. Condoms are enjoyable but its a personal choice. The staff free from the union and from Student Health in Student Health Care are there to guide and Care. Experienced staff at Student Health Care support you, so ensure you put us to good use. provide a free and confidential sexual health There is no such thing as a silly question and service, with sexual health clinics being run in we guarantee you won’t have been the first to the centre, twice weekly. Guildowns University ask! Medical Centre provide a contraceptive clinic.

Sexual health is not only about sexually transmitted infections and contraception. It’s about enjoying sexual experiences when you choose to have them. It’s about avoiding harm Remember sex must be safe and fun, and you Drop in or call 01483 689051 or extension to yourself and others. Its about being prepared have a right to choose not to have sex if you 9051 from campus phones. and having fun. Making a positive choice about wish. Not all sexually transmitted infections

If you suspect Swine Flu.. Contact the National Flu Line on 0800 1 513 513 or look online at www.nhs.co.uk DO NOT visit a Doctor or The Guildown’s University Medical Practice on campus!

Top 5 tips how Student Health Care can help your sexual health 1. FREE CONDOMS 2. Free, confidential Chlamydia self testing kits 3. Free, confidential sexual health clinics (GUM) in student health care  4. Confidential advice about your sexual health 5. Campaigns through the year to help you get to know more about your sexual health

© Crown copyright 2007 284556/A3 1p 30k Nov07 (BEL)

Low Fat Spaghetti Bolognaise Ingredients:

Method:

1 packed very lean beef mince or Quorn

Fry mince until brown, drain off fat.

1 onion

Add onions, garlic and oregano, fry for 5 minutes.

1 can tinned tomatoes

Add tinned tomatoes, tomato puree, oxo and cook for 10-20 minutes.

1/2 tube tomato puree 1 oxo cube in a cup of hot water (beef or vegetable) Oregano (2 teaspoons)

Cook pasta in boiling water for 10 minutes and serve! Easy! Simple, cheap meal to serve 4!  

Garlic (2 cloves or 1 teaspoon dried) Pasta (2 handfuls dried pasta per person on average)

Chat Health!

Trouble sleeping? Anxious about your exams? Worried about STIs? Want to know how alcohol can be affecting your mood? Want to know more about cannabis? Want stop smoking advice? Want to loose weight? Need nutrition information? Then mail in your questions to the nurses all in confidence to [email protected] to CHAT HEALTH for your reply in each edition of The Stag.

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STUDENT FASHION FILES

WE’RE LOVING!

A QUICK HELLO:

STUDENT STYLE ON A BUDGET

Cheryl Cole X factor:

Hi! We are two first year English literature students who love fashion and are dedicated to bringing you up to date fashion information and the latest affordable items! We will be bringing you hard hitting fashion articles on important issues within the fashion industry, designer profiles, shopping on a budget and our celebrity style stars of the week! We have a lot more ideas that will help you learn more about fashion and where to get the best bargains to keep you stylish and trendy!

COSY CARDIGANS:

VCheryl Cole aka the nation’s sweetheart has been stunning us with her beauty and

We really appreciate any feedback so please e-mail us with any issues you want investigated, any trend reports you want or how to get your favourite celebrity looks! Next time: The Weight Debate- Is thin really in? Please keep reading and we look forward to hearing from you! Love Christie and Nisha x Contact (E-Mail addresses): [email protected] [email protected]

Taupe-tastic- £17.00 Miss Selfridge- a long line taupe cardigan that has a ladder knit feature. Ladder knit is very reminiscent of the 2009 catwalks and has been seen in the collections of designers such as Julien McDonald. The neutral shade of the cardigan is perfect for an early morning lecture as it is not too fussy, but still trendy!

The cardigan is one of those great essentials every girl has in her wardrobe that never goes out of style! Whether long or short, the cardigan can be a key tool in building an outfit as they are great for layering in those cold winter months and are a fabulous way of injecting some colour into a plain outfit. Layer them over dresses for a more put together look or put a bright coloured cardigan over a cute top and some jeans, for effortless style that never fades! Quick tip: Looking for a stylish way to keep warm on a night out, look for an on trend sequin detail cardigan- guaranteed to keep you warm and have you sparkling in no time! Our 4 top picks are:

innate style since she became a judge on the X-Factor. Just when we think Cheryl can do no more, she delivers style that gets better week after week and this week is no exception as Ms. Cole provides us with two knock-outs!

Look 1: Atelier Versace Cheryl looks every bit the Grecian goddess from head to toe in this stunning gown by Versace. The sleek, asymmetrical dress delivers glamour and drama and the fabric is nothing short of dreamy...

Preppy power- £28.80 (with 10% student discount) This stripe cardigan from Topshop is the perfect casual cover-up for lectures or for a simple but stylish day outfit. Pair with skinny jeans and ballet flats for the perfect student ensemble!

Get Cheryl’s Look:

Into the wild- £14.40 (with 105 student discount) This lovely leopard print cardigan is the top of our list for comfortable cardigans. Animal prints are have always been stylish, but accents of leopard print have been seen on a number of celebrities from Rihanna to Mischa Barton. While too much leopard print can come off as tacky, a hint is a great way to update your wardrobe for an oh-so-stylish look! Matalan provides a slightly un-conventional grey leopard print cardigan, which helps you be ahead of the trend whilst being that little bit different!

Lady in Red- £28.00 (Jane Norman) This is the perfect cardigan to inject some colour into plain outfits and into your wardrobe. The bright red shade will add some va-va-voom to any outfit and is sure to make you stand out from the crowd!

Asos.com £28.00 Look 2 : Julien McDonald Cheryl’s second dress is long sleeved ‘space—age’, silver mini dress with sheer nude panelling. Cheryl ramps up the sex appeal in this metallic number that has an interesting, almost fish-scale like quality, but Cheryl pulls it off as ever!

WE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT! Topshop one shouldered, blush pink dress seen £40.00 The one-shoulder look is fast becoming a really hot trend and this beautiful blush pink dress from student favourite Topshop is our pick of the week! This little number is the perfect going out dress, from its chic silhouette, to the fabulous statement detailing on the shoulder and with 10% off the ticket price for students you won’t want to miss this! Our tip for styling this dress for a glam night out: pair with metallic peep toe heels to echo the shoulder detail and wear minimal jewellery to let the dress speak for itself. Add a cocktail ring and layer on some bracelets to heighten the glamour

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Quick tip: avoid wearing a necklace with this dress ad it will interfere with the neckline and shoulder detail.

Pac-Man’s Wedding Corner By Andy Vale and Ben Coren

This Week’s Tip: How To Look Up Girl’s Skirts

This Week’s List:

To look up girls’ skirts, attach mirrors to your shoes and film them with cameras taped to your knees. Find a girl, talk to her. Hold eye contact and be amusing. Ask questions, engage her interest and don’t act suspiciously. Meanwhile, position your feet into position to get some A-grade youtube footage. If this fails then ‘tactical fainting’ is always an option. Remember, as long as you don’t get caught it isn’t illegal...or immoral.

We thought we’d tell you some things to eat depending on your gender. We ruled out things like “Big Steaks and Hot Sauce” because that’s for mortals, not real men. Beside’s you can get those in TGI Friday’s and markets. Real men don’t buy their food, they get a woman to buy it. Seeing as they’re already at the shop, we included some womanly things to eat.

This Week’s Fact: The world’s largest grain of sand was found in Australia. It is 4cm in radius and is called ‘Big Guss.’ At that size it is still definitely a grain of sand and not a stone.

Manly Things To Eat

Womanly Things To Eat

A Light Sabre

Anything From Café Nero

Lava

Spreadable Cheese

Hash Blacks

Hash Browns

Iggy Pop’s Sweat

Wimpy

A Small Child’s Goldfish

Sliced Ham

Slipknot CDs

Perfume

Slipknot

ABBA

A Live Wolf

A Burger With A Knife & Fork

A Dead Breast

Clouds

Someone’s Soul

Wimpy

Hope

Nesquik Cereal

Pac-Man’s Wedding is on GU2 Radio every Tuesday from 11pm-2am. After Channies Challenge there is nothing on most Tuesday nights so you might as well listen. www.gu2.co.uk or 1350am

What’s it about? Surrey Library Service has asked CoLab to help them tackle one of their greatest challenges; getting more people and the local communities involved with their services, through the use of new technologies. We are looking for students to give us their ideas through entering this competition.

Why should I get involved? First prize is £250, with two runners up prizes of £50. This is also a great opportunity for you to get involved in solving a real world problem, with the potential for your ideas to be put into practice.

What do I have to do? We are looking for individuals or groups of up to 4 people to propose an idea of how to get more people and local communities involved with the Library Service, through the use of new technologies. This could be through promoting existing services or coming up with entirely new ones. Finalists will be invited to pitch their proposals to the Surrey Library Service on the evening of Wednesday 9th December.

How to enter and find out more You will need to submit your written proposal (and any additional materials) with an application form by 5pm on Monday 16th November. To find out more about the competition and entry requirements, please visit the CoLab website at www.co-lab.eu

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Surrey to Host Student Space Conference The Surrey Space Society (SSC) is hosting this year’s annual conference on behalf of the UK Students for the Exploration and Development of Space (UKSEDS) here at the University of Surrey in the Austin Pearce building on Saturday the 7th November 2009.  UKSEDS promote the interests of students and act as an  intermediary between industry and academia. Earlier this year, the SSC won the bid to host the 21st conference which will be held here at Surrey for the first time! The SSC have spent most of this year organising a top class space conference  worthy of the University, with its academic status in space research and industrial partner links with SSTL and Astrium. The  500 students studying space related courses in our University will greatly benefit from this historical event.  This year’s event is expected to be attended by some two hundred delegates making a record turnout. In addition to the numerous individuals who will be attending, Kingston, Cambridge, Bath,

Southampton and several other universities and universities are attending with the specific will be present representing their respective purpose of recruiting undergraduates and UKSEDS branches. postgraduates. The conference’s theme is based on returning to the Moon forty years on from the mankind’s first step. This includes the UK’s role in past and current missions; future space technology and exploration projects. Surrey  being the home to SSTL and Surrey Space Centre has attracted numerous big name speakers and companies alike And we are currently being supported by Reaction Engines, HE Space, Astrium, Selex, BNSC, SSTL, ISU, BIS  and several other smaller companies and individuals. Sir Martin Sweeting has agreed to open the conference. Speakers from numerous universities, including Oxford, Imperial, Glasgow, Cardiff, UCL and MSSL, in addition to ESA and BBC News, will also be attending. The exhibition will allow delegates to see current work in progress from space agencies, UK space companies, and university research and allow job networking to take place, many companies

Student Radio has ensured that we have seen nipple three weeks in a row and a guy called Liam saw England at Wembley for free!

Although he probably paid for the train. As England doesn’t play every week we have to find other things to give away. Every week we give away tickets two tickets to Flirt with Queue jump; meaning that you avoid the hassle of mass emails, standing outside the book shop and actually paying. Listen to us every Friday between 4-7pm to grab yourself a piece of that hot ass. As well as doing the radio stuff we also now have a regular spot down in The Living Room. We’ve decided to give each one a genre theme and held our first Indie Disco down there last week. Soon we’ll be having hip-hop/urban and we encourage you to come down if you’re getting a bit bored of the music upstairs. It’s usually easier to get served at the bar too. If you think that most radio presenters today are too bland, the music is shocking and think you could do better then here’s your chance. It’s pretty much a given that it is almost impossible to get a job in Media without experience or blowjobs and we can give you one of those. There is a huge list of big name media stars that made their starts in Student Radio such as Alex Zane, Scott Mills and most recently Greg James. So if you want a job in media or just want something fun to do between lectures then get in contact with us now! To Listen: www.gu2.co.uk or 1350am To join: email [email protected] To text the studio: 07575 073 400

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Refreshments and food will be  served to all delegates during the conference. After the conference  an evening social event will take place at The Lounge. The registration is available at a special price of £5 for Surrey Space Society members, and £13 for other students.  More information can be found on the conference website at http://conference. ukseds.org, where you can also find the link to register. Make sure you register to attend as soon as possible to avoid disappointment. More information about the Surrey Space Society can be found at ussu.space@surrey. ac.uk. Surrey Space Society

[email protected]

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EVENTS P MONDAY

09/11 to 15/11

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

Sko Dis �� c�

in Rubix

Mad Monday in Chancellors

16/11 to 22/11

X’mas and Roast Dinners in Chancellors

Roast every Sunday with all the trimmings ~ £4.95 Christmas dinner all of December. £1.50 menu Mon to Fri from 3-5pm

Flow in the Living Room

with Funhouse’s Pat Sharp

i

in Rubix

Laser Questin Rubix

in

Mad Monday in Chancellors

23/11 to 29/11

THUR

in

Go Karting

s to Riches

with the

in Rubix

Mad Monday in Chancellors

i Amnesty International Society

Gree Nigh

Electro Night 30/11 to 06/12

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Mad Monday in Chancellors

in Chancellors

in

Christmas Card Making

Her ing help pport of H

SAY SOMETHING... 07/12 to 13/12

Live

Musicight in Rubix

in su

in C

N

Mad Monday in Chancellors

in R

www.dirtyretro.com

Sweet Treats for X’mas

Snow White Panto

20 planner_nov-dec.indd 1

www.nus.org.uk

in Rubix

14/12 to 20/12

Mad Monday in Chancellors

Trip to Chicago the Musical

TRAINING SESSIONS Power in Negotiations ~ Thursday 12 Nov 5-7 Delivering Killer Presentations ~ Thursday 19th 6-8 Pitching Effectively ~ Wednesday 25th 2-4 ining Stress Management ~ Wednesday 2nd Dec 2-4 k/tra

.u

.co .ussu w w w

Postgrad Quiz & Curry Night Every other Wednesday in Wates House

in

PLANNER

RSDAY

FLIRTDAY

www.facebook.com/surreyunion

www.ussu.co.uk

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

Beer & Cider Festival

Fireworks Display at the Natwest field

in Chancellors

n the Living Room

Greek Night

in Rubix

in the Living Room Live DJ in Chancellors

with Radio 1’s

Greg James

Trip to Bluewater shopping center

Poker

in Chancellors

www.ussu.co.uk/giveitago

Harubix in the Living Room

n Chancellors

Poker

in the Living Room

Live DJ in Chancellors

For all your campus needs, pop into the Bookshop!

in Chancellors

Diwali with the Indian

Surrey does Disney!! Students Association in the

All av even a the ilab t tick Bo le fr ets ok o sh m op

Living Room

Greek Night

d rande rsity b Unive thing & clo e is d an merch

in Rubix

in Rubix

n Chancellors

Poker

in Chancellors

Fetish Night in the Living Room Live DJ Live in Chancellors DJ in Chancellors

roes oes g Her r Heroes

Help fo Rubix

Chancellors

in the Living Room Live DJ in Chancellors

X’mas Party

n Chancellors

Portuguese Night in the Living Room

Trip to Winchester X’mas Market

Poker

in Chancellors

COLOURS CHRISTMAS DINNER in Chancellors

Poker

in Chancellors

Ultimate Frisbee

in The Living Room

Elizabeth Simos Union President [email protected] Nick Entwistle VP Education [email protected] Malcolm Hunt VP Welfare [email protected] Lisa Shah VP Societies & ID [email protected]

Union House, The U Stag Hill, Guild

Chris Moffatt VP Sports [email protected]

T: (01483) 3952 | S

www.us

Elizabeth Simos Union President [email protected]

in the Living Room Live DJ in Chancellors

W�’�� �� �us� ���� f�� ��� g�o� ���e� – �� ���� �ls� s�i�� �� y�� ���� i� ’� ba� ���e�. H��e����� ����n� ���� ���� g� �r�n� ����� y��’�� ���� , �u� i� i� d�e� y��� U�i�� c�� ����. C��� �nt� �e��p�i�� , lo�� �� ��� ��b�i�� �� ���� u� � c��� �� �x��n�i�� 9�23. Wha����� ��� �r�����, �� ���� ��� ��� �es� t� ����.

YOUR SABBS

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in the Living Room Live DJ in Chancellors

union_info_cards.indd 1

CONTACT

in Chancellors

Nick Entwistle VP Education [email protected]

help!

Malcolm Hunt VP Welfare [email protected] Lisa Shah VP Societies & ID [email protected]

All listings are correct at time of going to print. For updates on future events please join our Chris Moffatt Facebook group:

VP Sports

University of Surrey Students’ Union [email protected]

Union House, The University of Surrey, Stag Hill, Guildford, GU2 7XH

21

T: (01483) 3952 | SMS: 07624 805349

www.ussu.co.uk

30/10/2009 17:10:11

union_info_cards.indd 1

22/10/2009 16:10:57

‘7 Deadly Sins’ - Written and Directed by Matt Goodwin and Adam Rainsford On Monday 11th and Tuesday 12th May 2009, Rubix was transformed by MADSoc (Music and Drama Society) from the union we all know and love, to the devils front room... With black cloth and red lights covering the theatre, and deep echoing laughs coming from the speakers, the audience sat quivering in their seats. As the house lights came down, the room filled with smoke and strobe lighting as some of the devil’s servants - the wraiths - ran through the audience. Thus began the first ever performance of 7 Deadly Sins, written and directed by Adam Rainsford and Matt Goodwin. 7 Deadly Sins, as the name suggests, is a play about the 7 deadly sins: lust, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, gluttony and pride. The evening was hosted by the devil himself (Matt Goodwin), who narrated the show to the audience, warning them against what they were seeing. With each different sin a mini play of its own, the audience were in for an emotional rollercoaster of a ride, and there were more than a few tears by the time the curtain came down. There were songs, dances, comedy and death, pretty much what you would expect for an evening in Rubix...

With both evenings a sell out success, MADSoc were able to donate £150 to the charity Age Concern, who were very grateful for our support. MADSoc would like to extend a huge thank you to everyone who helped make the production the success that it was. I would like to personally thank Adam Rainsford for being such a fantastic writing partner and fellow director, Mike Frazer for being a phenomenal producer, Jerome van den Burghe for being a marvellous Musical Director and all of the USSU Stage Crew who helped out. Without This is the third year out of dormancy for MADSoc and it has proven itself to be a very ‘happening’ and active society since them, it would have been a disaster. then. It has a drama, musical and theatre side. Their TV company Most importantly of all, I would like to thank ‘MAD TV’ was formed last year. MADSoc also won two awards at you, the public, the audience, the people the SUGAR Awards for Societies including ‘Arts Society of the who came to see the play despite the fact year’ and ‘Best Society Event’ for the play Exam. that they didn’t know what they were letting Workshops: themselves in for! I hope you thoroughly enjoyed it. I know we did. And if you didn’t Drama: Tues - 6:30-8(ish) LTH come and see it, then I hope you feel the urge to come and see our next show, this Musical Theatre: Friday- 6:30-8(ish) TB6 semester. MADTV: Wednesday- 6:30 LTJ

Matt Goodwin

There’s plenty to get involved in so don’t hesitate to drop!

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves - Written by Matt Goodwin and Adam Hurd MADSoc is proud to present their Christmas pantomime!! But it isn’t just any pantomime, (Oh yes it is!!) oh no it isn’t, it’s much more than that. It has been described as “a backwards pantomime, with sex, drugs and a happy ending!” And if that doesn’t get your heart pumping, then I don’t know what will! Following the well known fairy tale story of Snow White through the forest to the house of the “seven” dwarves, we can expect to see many characters along the way, including the ever pleasant Spirit of the Forest, the embodiment of all the forest dwelling

creatures, who, whilst being a perverted leech, is one of the heroes of the story.

“It’s fun, everybody’s friendly and it’s a great way to build up your confidence!” - Caroline Brogan

People were actually congratulating people when they were auditioning for the same part - it was incredible. My experiences of auditions at school were definitely more catty and filled with scandal & sabotage.

“I have only just joined MADSoc; but love it already. I have met lots of lovely, fun people; who are a true reflection of the society. The workshops are a giggle. They get everyone involved and also help us develop acting skills which in turn increases our confidence.” - Emily Boswell “I have always thought about joining a drama society since becoming a student back in 2005! I have always enjoyed performing and talking about plays. I have just never got around to doing it and the other ‘actors’ at my previous university put me off as they were either not my cup of tea at all or actually studying drama so I felt like too much of an amateur compared to the ‘professionals’! However here at Surrey, this is not the case. The MADSoc welcomes everyone which ever degree you’re doing or how much drama you’ve done before… Auditions for the pantomime showed me that there are very many talented individuals in the group and how supportive we are of each other.

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For a night of boos, hisses, cheers and wolf whistles, you should come along for a show that is guaranteed to make you laugh; out of awkwardness, comedy, or sheer pity. Filled with “oh no it isn’t”’s and “it’s behind you”’s, this pantomime is one you won’t want to miss this Christmas time! Directed by MADSoc’s very own President, Miss Hannah Pike, it promises to be a night of the unexpected. With

It has reminded me of something I am good at and can enjoy and relax with; rather than going out, drinking or watching TV all the time… I look forward to our socials; these thespians will have quite a night planned!” - Georgina Olden “MADSoc allows students to experience a friendly, upbeat atmosphere every week with a few fun drama related games and activities. The brilliant thing about MADSoc is its versatility. It enables students to enjoy the light-hearted atmosphere but it also satisfies the needs of people looking to act more seriously. A good example of this is the upcoming pantomime; students can choose to take part or choose to merely come along to the workshops. Why did I choose MADSoc? Well, at first the idea of a drama society scared and intimidated me,

guest appearances by all your favourite, uninvited, fairy tale characters, and with a cocky prince whose cod piece grows ever larger, we hope you have as much fun seeing it as we have had writing it! Snow White and the Seven Dwarves will be performed in Rubix on Monday 14th and Tuesday 15th December 2009. Watch this space to know when tickets go on sale! Matt Goodwin but one second into the workshops I knew that nobody was going to make me do anything I didn’t feel comfortable with and it was just a bunch of lively people coming together and enjoying the fun side of drama. Because I fell in love with MADSoc literally after the first workshop I stood for Social Secretary and Executive Producer of MADtv (the universities news program: an extension of MADSoc). I adore being part of the team and working to make MADSoc bigger and better than it already is!” - Yasna Mostofi “To me, MADSoc was more than just a society; it was like a big happy party every week. I joined it in the first place because of my love for acting, and I have steadily got more and more involved. I love it. It is fun, enjoyable and I keep learning new things and passing my old knowledge on to others. Without MADSoc I would have led a thespian-less university life, which isn’t something anyone really wants. I have met some truly amazing friends through MADSoc, and have had experiences which will stay with me for ever and ever. Thank goodness for MADSoc, that’s all I can say. What a society!” - Matt Goodwin

Portuguese Society Update

Hello everyone!! This is just a quick hello from the Portuguese Society and I hope to tell you a bit about ourselves as well = )

The Portuguese society was created relatively recently, in the beginning of last year’s second semester. It was well accepted by other societies and got off to a good start, since it won the Best Newcomer Society of the Year Award! This year we are hoping to make up for last year’s late start and begin the projects and events from the earliest stages. New members were elected to be part of the committee and come up with new ideas as well as work more for you. Despite having the same President, Francisco Lourenço, we had to elect new committee members since the previous VP finished his masters’ degree and last years’ treasurer had more duties and decided not to rerun. Mariana Reis was elected Vice-president and

Hussein Sacoor was elected Treasurer. Also I am pleased to announce that two more committee members were elected: Pedro S. Lara as our society’s public relations officer and I, Francisco F. D’Andrade, as our Events officer. As you can see we have increased our staff only to do to a better job with the members of our society but also the rest of the University of Surrey students!

The society’s main targets are the Portuguese Surrey students but everyone is welcome to join! We want to expand our cultural relationships and bond with everyone at University of Surrey so feel free to join our society even if you are not Portuguese and don’t speak the same language, we won’t discriminate against anyone and will try to make you feel well integrated in our society = ) I hope you guys enjoyed our first Portuguese Night

on the 26th of October at The Living Room (HRB). We had some surprises planned for the evening starting with the Portuguese DJ - DJ Peter C - to remind you guys of last year’s parties! Some of you might know Pedro since he was here last year so come and cheer for him! We enjoyed seeing you all there, it was an awesome night and an event to remember! Finally, if you have any questions you can always visit our society’s Facebook page, University of Surrey Portuguese Society, or email us at ussu. [email protected] . Stay tuned for more information, I hope to meet you all soon = ) Francisco Freire D’Andrade Portuguese Society Events Officer

Surrey African Caribbean Society Surrey African Caribbean Society (Surrey ACS) is a society which aims to unify and promote the diverse cultures of Africa and the Caribbean. By providing a warm, supportive and very sociable student community, we aim to bring everyone together.

and beyond. The need for empowerment is evidently shown through our debates and mentoring scheme, which will be launched on Tuesday 3rd November. More information will be available in the next edition of The Stag so watch this space!

We also provide a focal point for students of African & Caribbean origin, and those interested in all aspects of the diverse countries of Africa and the Caribbean.

Entertainment: University life is not all about studies, that is why the ACS prides itself in being the organiser of the best parties on campus, as shown by our Funky Freshers party.

We achieve this in various ways: Empowerment: We provide a strong social support network for African and Caribbean students and empower them with the skills and advice needed to succeed at Surrey

The Excitement and Experiences! This is for everyone and anyone who is interested in or curious about African/Caribbean Culture Current event: Games night on Friday the 13th of November at 6pm in TB18 For more info please contact: Jaz (President): [email protected] Gass (Vice President): [email protected] Priscilla (Secretary): [email protected]

Finally, ACS provides you with the Culture.... The Food... The Entertainment...The Socialising... The Networking... The Career prospects... The fun...The laughter...The Friendships...

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MUSIC Yeah Ghost is the follow up to Zero 7’s Grammy nominated album The Garden. Having built a strong worldwide following with their downtempo style music, Yeah Ghost takes the UK duo in a new experimental direction. It’s freely available to stream on their MySpace and Facebook pages as well as music services Spotify and We7.

Zero 7 - Yeah Ghost

The opening track Count Me Out forms part of this, with a formless ambient feel unfamiliar to any of the previous releases. Luckily, this only acts as an

introduction and doesn’t reflect on the rest of the album. It almost acts as a bridge between their old style and their new Basement Jaxx chic-pop.

The new style is best reflected in the tracks Mr McGee, Medicine Man and Sleeper, both with a real sense of groove. People familiar with their chillout music however, won’t be left empty handed as The Road fuses their customary relaxed beat, female vocals and Rhodes melodies. A true highlight.

While it may be a little too easy for fans to denounce this album for its incoherence with their previous releases, Yeah Ghost is a welcome return for Zero 7. I’ve found myself continually listening since its release and discovering new things. Naturally, I skip their experimental ambient opener. 4.5/5 Andy Flowers

Talons vs And So I Watch You From Afar, Split EP

This is the first of three split EPs from Herefordshire band Talons who are set to play a run of gigs early next year with the co-attendees on this EP, Belfast’s And So I Watch You From Afar. The EP has one track from each of the bands, the first being Talons’ Bethlehem. To bring a violin into the math/ post-rock could at first seem like a gimmick intended to try and force some distinction between Talons and their peers – it could also be a way of getting air play on Radio 4 … However, the arrangement of Bethlehem is such that the violin is woven in tightly to the rock band aesthetic to form a core part of the track. Little schizophrenic moments like the pizzicato stabs over the more disjointed sections serve perfectly to heighten the tension until the beat drops and the violins provides a lush lead before quickly bringing it all full cycle and starting over again. The last breakdown has the violins sounding something like Clint Mansell’s main theme to Requiem For A Dream until finally all hell breaks

loose again. This track is truly a mini-masterpiece and a hard act to follow.

However, the lilting 6/8 of ASIWYFA’s D is for Django the Bastard immediately has you in a different place and you all too soon find yourself in a bongo breakdown, not quite sure why your ears are ringing. The song never stays still and rolls swiftly back into a rocky, reverberant post-rock lead section before skipping into a jazzy breakdown with a walking bass line … gah?! Even with all these seemingly disparate sections ASIWYFA manage to link them with subtlety and make it a pleasure to hear a jazz breakdown build up into a hardcore coda. If this had been the first track on the split I would probably be ending this paragraph with words similar to those that end the above paragraph – both of these tracks are quality. Both bands here are striving to do something

different and both bands are succeeding. Each have a Zappa-esque, inclusive take on the current music scene and it is refreshing to hear such bold takes on a scene that is thriving in its own right. The concept of Talons’ music is so strikingly simple, brilliantly fusing an unlikely instrumentation with a more unlikely genre – and perhaps even giving those bassoon-playing, math-rock lovers a glimmer of hope. As for ASIWYFA, well they’re well on their way, with this track just proving that their self-titled debut album wasn’t merely beginners luck and with a second album in the pipeline we’ll probably be watching this band from much closer up than they’re apparently watching us. The split single will be released on limited edition (of 100) 3″ CDs via Big Scary Monsters Records on November 23rd. Richard Beddington

Tubelord - Our First American Friends (2009) have been knocking about the Kingston area for some time, churning out a plethora of songs that move away from the standard chords and melodies to create some really interesting music. This is their first full length album, released on the 12th October, available on white vinyl (which is ace), CD or MP3.

Math-art-indie or whatever you want to call it, it is growing pretty rapidly. Lots of bands have started to go down the route, offering music which often has complex instrumental parts, and usually the odd strange time signature. Tubelord is a band that

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The album is a collection of some of their finer tracks from the EPs released in the last few years, along with a number of new tracks. Fans will not be disappointed, as tracks like Night Of The Pencils deserve a place on this album. Brilliant vocals and lyrics that I couldn’t even begin to think up make this into a super catchy track. Creative guitar work ties with solid drumming, even dropping in a sort of break down, which is always something I like to hear. The single, Propellers, is being released on 500 limited 7”, so get yours quickly. This is one of the best songs from the album, with massive dynamic shifts, keeping you guessing all the time.

Don’t be fooled though, this isn’t just a collection of re-recordings of previous tracks, there are some gems like Your Bed Is Kind Of Frightening, which has haunting vocal harmonies before crashing into one of the more poppy tracks on the album. Stacey’s Left Arm brings some electronic elements to the table, with some more super vocal work over a more mellow number. Our First American Friends ends the album, which has all the elements of any great Tubelord track. Intricate interludes calm you before the roof comes down with a thud of massive bass riffs and drums. This album is as good as I’d hoped, but to be honest they had some great material to work with in the first place, and it’s nice to finally get it all in one place. I think I would have liked any old crap they might have churned out. Mark Allen

[email protected]

Subsource support Dirty Disco and The Strobe Circus 23/10/09 @ The Boileroom

It was allegedly the first gig by The Strobe Circus. You could’ve fooled me. An assured yet loose set throwing in bits of Reggae and Dub wound together with an assuredness that belied their claims of debutante status.

I rarely ever describe someone as ‘a bit of a character.’ That is often thrown about for someone who is loud, a bit of a lad and generally detestable by anyone with a modicum of not-a-twat. But in purest form the term means someone who is quite out of the ordinary and can hold your attention just by being themselves. The Dirty Disco’s lead vocalist Adam fits this bill perfectly. A glittery tanned rake-like physique gyrating across the whole room providing the spear-head for some catchy electropop that comes from a darker place than most of us will ever be willing to go. I suppose he’s a bit like a hyperactive Lady Gaga but with no ambiguity about his loin-bulge. The whole band aesthetic has been polished for a long time - all clad in white with robotic backing vocalists. It’s part 1950’s space adventure, part Soho sex rave and is the perfect platform to launch their hadouken of sleazy music into our fragile minds. It’s hard to write about this band and make

it sound like anything other than a Daily Mail baiting freakfest, there’s more than that. This was evident on the passionately frustrated ‘What Will The Neighbours Say,’ a song about a boy cast out from his family because of their culture and his sexuality. No doubt it could become an LGBT anthem; it reminded me of the human touch that ‘Only Women Bleed’ used to give to Alice Cooper’s otherwise wild and eccentric persona. A wonderfully crafted stage show was rounded off with their next single Sista, which will be released in January.

Originally Subsource began as a live dance act, but over time their sound evolved into something that’s a little difficult to put the finger on. The term “breakbeat cyberpunk riot” has been used in the past but that doesn’t mean a lot to most people (or me.) So to describe it best I usually say that they’re a mix between Bloc Party and Prodigy. Orange strobes, a loud roar and a packed room greeted them onto stage. After a solid Summer of over 20 festivals Guildford’s most electric live act returned to their home ground to celebrate the imminent release of their single ‘The Reason.’ A slow

Dub-step opening soon burst into a frenetic maelstrom of break-beats, bodies and some guy going wild in a Motörhead T-shirt. The tribal riot of ‘Street Soul Music’ then turned things up further to an intensity level that was kept up with bursts of punk, metal and dub throughout the show.

In fact the number of styles bought into the mix was astounding, especially as the sound never felt overcrowded just very active. One of the reasons this works so well is because they have two very different vocal styles in the punky barks of Stu and the smooth MCing of Kimba. During song breaks Kimba kept the crowd entertained with some freestyle call and response that was woven into following tracks. As well as playing their new single we were also treated to a couple of lightning bolts from their upcoming album ‘Tales From The Doombox.’ No doubt I’ll review that when it comes out in March so I won’t elaborate on them now. Just know that they’re awesome and that you should see this band as soon and as often as you can. Subsource – The Reason out now! www.itunes. com/subsource Words: Andy Vale Photos: Naomi Kenton

Thomas Leeb in Concert ‘the bastard child of acoustic finger style’

So you might be thinking ‘just another guitar player, what’s the fuss?’ Described as ‘the bastard child of acoustic finger style’, Austrian born musician Thomas Leeb is no ordinary guitarist. He combines traditional acoustic finger style playing with percussive techniques, punctuating his tunes with slaps, pops and beats, resulting in a busy blur of hands and fingers that really has to be seen to be believed. Performing a selection of original compositions, traditional tunes and occasional covers by artists

including Guns ‘n’ Roses, Bjork and Bob Marley, we are extremely pleased to have Thomas perform here at the University. Guthrie Govan, an acclaimed session guitarist and occasional writer for Guitar Techniques Magazine, says about Thomas: ‘What Thomas does with an acoustic guitar probably shouldn’t be legal. Not only does he elicit a wide variety of sounds from the instrument which the rest of us simply can’t find, he also manages to utilize this unique vocabulary in an incredibly musical way. His pyrotechnic playing style has to be seen to be believed, but perhaps the most impressive thing about his technique is that it’s never used gratuitously; it always serves a musical purpose. Getting that balance right is one of the toughest challenges facing any serious musician... but Thomas always makes it look effortless. Highly recommended’. So what are you waiting for? Come join us in PATS Studio One on Friday 13th November to witness one of the ‘world’s greatest unknown guitarists’,

as described by Guitar Techniques Magazine (UK). The late great Eric Roche, former guitar tutor at the ACM in Guildford, said of Thomas, ‘I was his teacher for about five minutes and then I heard him play’. I assure you that he will not be ‘unknown’ for much longer so don’t miss out on this fantastic opportunity to see him here in Guildford for only £5 (students). Check him out for yourself at www.thomasleeb.com, www.myspace.com/thomasleeb, or search for clips of his astounding playing on YouTube. The concert starts at 8pm on Friday 13 November in Studio One of the PATS Building, University of Surrey. To book tickets please contact the box office on 01483 686 876 or there may be limited availability on the door. Doors open at 7.40pm.

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Dance and Theatre........ What’s On?

From world musicians and international dance companies, to acoustic guitarists, silent film showings and exhibitions in the art gallery, there’s a whole range of arts events happening on campus this term.  Last week we had the great Malian musician Bassekou Kouyate and his band Ngoni ba, fresh off their appearance on Jools Holland, performing in the University Hall, introducing their infectious rhythms and African melody to the audiences of Guildford. If you were there, I hope you enjoyed the fantastic concert.  If you missed out then please check www.surrey.ac.uk/arts regularly so that you don’t miss out in the future, or search for our Facebook group, Music & Dance Events at the University of Surrey, to be kept up-todate with our events on campus. What’s coming up… Wednesday 4 November: Film - The General th

When: 7.30pm Where: in our new ‘art house cinema’, alternatively known as the PATS Dance Studio, to enjoy the comedy classic The General What: Enjoy this comedy classic with accompaniment provided by one of the world’s leading silent film accompanists, Neil Brand.  Now fully equipped with a high definition projector and large screen, the studio provides a great place on campus to enjoy the truly unique and individual experience that live music and silent film has to offer. Thursday 5 recital

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November: Music -

PhD guitar

When: Doors open at 7pm Where: PATS Studio One.  What: The performer Jonathan Leathwood has already been described as ‘a genius’ by Classical Guitar Magazine and has made a name of himself as one of the world’s leading exponents of contemporary classical guitar music.  This is a free concert with seats on a first come first served

Calling Dance and Theatre Lovers

basis, so if this interests you please arrive early on 5th November to guarantee entry. Also this November… Guitar concerts:

Jonathan starts the ball rolling on our fantastic season of guitar concerts, with guitarist extraordinaire Thomas Leeb performing in PATS Studio One on Friday 13th November and Canadian guitarist Steven Thachuk performing on 11th December. ‘The Human Face of Death Row’ Exhibiton at Art Gallery Located next to the Book Shop on campus this exhibition questions and provokes debate about the issues surrounding the death penalty and the morality of ending the life of a fellow human.  Well worth checking out.

The Stag is delighted to welcome a brand new section to the Arts pages…Dance and Theatre! We are now looking for a group of regular writers for these pages. You may be a Dance or Theatre student or you may just take a real interest in the art forms and would like the opportunity to write for the newspaper. You could find yourself doing the following…

On a lighter note, please have a listen to www. myspace.com/thomasleeb, maybe watch a video; hopefully it will make you smile.  Then book a ticket to see him perform here at the University on 13th November.  All ticketed events can be bought by calling the box office on 01483 686 876 and all events have student concession rates.  Lunchtime concerts PATS Pop down to our regular lunchtime concerts, held every Wednesday at 1.10pm in PATS and see what you think. We have a website - www.surrey.ac.uk/arts - where you can find out more information on campus arts events. There’s plenty going on so I hope you can find time to try something new this month.  Hopefully see you at an event soon.

Jamie Harber Events & Marketing Co-ordinator

• Reviewing performances • Writing book reviews • Interviewing visiting dance/ theatre artists • Taking photos • Researching current debates/ ideas/issues/ conflicts in dance/ theatre world • Citing interesting articles to be reprinted that you have seen

elsewhere in national papers or on the web • …And lots more! What’s in it for you as writers… • Free tickets! • Chance to meet and interview the professionals in the industry • Looks good on your CV • A chance to write and think about the arts outside your subject of study • Being part of the Stag team • Getting your name in the paper which is read by over 8,000 people! For more information or to contribute articles for forthcoming issues please email Rachel Gildea (Arts Editor) at dancedeskstag@gmail. com Look forward to hearing from you!

Calling All Dancers! ‘Tapping Thoughts’ Dance Project  I am interested in carrying out some research about people’s experience of dance. This is mainly for people in the Dance Department but I’m really keen to hear from dancers outside the department too. I plan to interview individuals to gather information and use the Dance pages of the Stag to share my findings. I am interested in any dance related issues/ideas. Whether you have interests in doing more teaching/performing/working with different people or maybe you are having problems your bodies/health/technique/classwork? Ultimately I want to use the results of my research to build up a support network of dancers so that we can all, relate, support, and share in our strengths and weaknesses! If you are interested in taking part and would like to know more, or if you have any questions or queries about the project please contact me on [email protected]. I would be happy to liase through email or make appointments to meet people.

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I look forward to hearing from you. Nathan Coakley

Actual Size Dance Company What is Actual Size?

ASDC and Education

let you know what’s happening!

ASDC is a student-led Dance Company based at the University of Surrey which operates and performs in a professional context - brought together by dedicated students from a broad cross-section of people who volunteer their time and energy outside their course framework.

ASDC has an Education sector that closely works with the Widening Participation Scheme at the Uni. Our developing education team supplies members with hands on experience at co-teaching within local primary and secondary school, including Youth dance groups. The workshops aim to enhance the involvement of young adults with practical activity through dance.

We want your input too!

What sort of dancing is it? We are a contemporary dance company which regularly participates in professional workshops conducted by dance practitioners and established companies. We also organize our own technique and improvisation/creative sessions that are open to all levels of dance knowledge and physicality. Who is it for? The company is mainly for dancers on the degree programme but we are interested in dancers from other courses too! ASDC comprises of dancers on the dance and culture degree programme; other influences include students from Music, Film Studies, and Biosciences. We provide members with invaluable experience of working together within a company environment and enable them to practice skills learnt at University. ASDC at Surrey and beyond… Together with regular classes ASDC also choreographs work and perform at local and extended regional platforms around the UK. We recently created a reconstruction of Anne Teresa De Keersmaeker’s Rosas Dans Rosas in May 2009.

Dates for your Diary: WED 28th Oct - Rachel Deadman, Contemporary Technique,AC Studio, 6-7:20pm WED 4th Nov - Luke Birch,Improv creative session, AC Studio, 6-8pm WED 18th Nov - Optimum Fitness leading a massage session. AC Studio, time tbc. End of Nov (date tbc)- Kate Lawrence leading an Improv session, AC Studio, 6-8pm All sessions cost £2 as a donation contribution towards getting other practitioners in to lead workshops. As most of the sessions will be delivered in AC studio you will NEED to sign up to do the sessions. There is a max of 12 people. There will be a sign up sheet put up in Nodus (Building opposite UniSport) by Thursday of each week (near the booking chart) Keep an eye on EMAILS too for reminders & info as its the only realistic way of contacting everyone to

We are an open company/organisation, no need to audition, just come to the classes as and when you can and want to. PLEASE feel free to create piece’s for Actual Size, we are open to ideas and people from other educational disciplines that have or have had previous experience in dance and would like to be involved. The company will be looking into applying to some performance platforms in the New Year. Any thoughts just get in touch! Tara Baker Dance and Theatre Studies Email: [email protected] For Education contact Kirsty Sidaway

“You have to love dancing to stick to it. It gives you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems to be printed and sold, nothing but that single fleeting moment when you feel alive. It is not for unsteady souls.” Merce Cunningham

Actual Size Dance Company Review Actual Size Dance Company: The Size of was the consistent relationship from one dancer to the next whilst performing these Things ambiguous tasks; unexpected interactions Thursday 7th May, 2009, 7:30pm, PATS Studio between them added spark. Theatre, University of Surrey. It was shocking to learn that the Fake in I was impressed by the quality of Plastic performers were squeezed in to size 0 the Actual Size Performances. A outfits. I could not fathom squeezing in to a diverse mix in the three performances size 0 outfit, let alone performing managed to evoke a surprising in one! One girl was unfortunate spectrum of emotions in just half an hour. enough to fall during Fake in Plastic Covers. After the initial shock, I was intrigued to see how the improvisation when sympathy began to ensue, I realised piece would unveil. It turned out to work it was an utterly convincing mockery of the very well, even though two of the girls nearly catwalk catastrophe of falling mid-strut. collided! A brief smile was exchanged, Her fall was one of a true stuntwoman! returning to a face of determination - or Primarily humorous, the piece at least heightened concentration - a split managed to achieve a poignant yet second later. The audience was left guessing sexy-edged tone; successfully combining as the dance movements were based on contrasting viewpoints of the modelling improvisational ‘tasks’. What was interesting industry. The more subtle details of

movement became the most captivating. I was strangely moved by Anicca, a performance based on the impermanence of things. Feeling as though I had been transported to a rock pool, it was as though I was witnessing a battle of peculiar organisms, some seemingly thrashing to survive, others being consumed and cycles being stopped then continued by another, all gradually evolving until an eerie retreat by the end. I enjoyed the performance thoroughly. Catherine Pritchard Rare Pixel Productions

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Contemporary Dance Initiative at University of Surrey CDI is a programme of contemporary dance classes offered to ALL Surrey DANCE students only - for FREE

29.10.09: Kate Lawrence

Karen is the BA Performance Co-ordinator for Surrey University Dance Course. She was  Kate was director of feminist dance company trained at Laban and runs the Contemporary Nomads in the 1990’s, creating and performing Module at Surrey University. The session will in 3 full evening works which toured in Britain be  a released based class using a somatic and Europe. She now lectures on the BA and approach to discover and use our natural ease MA programmes at the University of Surrey and of movement, allowing falling, flying and riding is MA Programme Director.  She is currently the momentum of weight. pursuing doctoral study into Vertical Dance and teaches the first British undergraduate module 26.10.09: Iris Chan in Vertical Dance . Iris graduated  from Surrey in 2008 and is 05.11.09: Kirsty Sidaway currently working for Independent Dance and Siobhan Davies Studios as well as performing in Kirsty studied a BTEC and A Level in Dance freelance projects. She is performing in Bodies at Kidderminster College.  She is now a in Urban Spaces as part of Dance Umbrella this final year student at the University and has autumn. She is a Kathak dancer and has been developed her dancing skills over the past performing with Amina Khayyam’s dance three years. The first section of the class will company. Iris has also choreographed her own consist of  contemporary exercises  influenced work which was presented at an Independent by Graham, Cunningham and  Released style Dance Platform in 2008  and The Place techniques. The second section will be focusing Resolution! 2009.  on stamina and core strength, (plenty of sit ups and press ups involved!) The class will include release-based technique, improvisation and some partner work, leading into longer sequences that gets you moving. 12.11.09: NO CLASS (Reading week) 19.11.09: Karen da Silva

03.12.09: Lucy Teed

Lucy graduated in 2008 from the University of Surrey with a BA Hons in Dance and Culture. She then continued her training at the University of Chichester with the post-graduate performance company Mapdance. Lucy is currently working on her MA dissertation; with a developing interest in the notion of ‘body consciousness’. Her research explores ways in which a dancer’s embodied knowledge can be translated within a performance context, aiming to develop the spectator’s experiential awareness beyond the visual and closer to the kinaesthetic. Lucy’s class will draw upon influences from Release based techniques; encouraging an explorative approach to the body’s natural response to weight and gravity, discovering a sense of fluidity through the space. Beginning with gentle bodywork, we will then explore movement phrases that will sequentially increase in energy, dynamic and intricacy. No need to sign up – simply come along! Any questions, contact CDI Coordinator; Julie Havelund: [email protected] Hope to see you there!

Review: “The Beautiful Dead”

Hydra by Inbal Pinto and Avshalom Pollak Dance Company Part of Dance Umbrella 2009

On what felt to me like the first real day of winter, 12 first year dance students and the head of the dance department, Rachel Fensham journeyed to the Southbank Centre, London. Wrapped warmly and red-nosed from the sudden chill we hurried excitedly to the theatre, chattering. Sylph-like women in white dresses floated onto the bleak stage. Church bells and a howling wind created an eerie, oppressive atmosphere. We were trapped in the underworld. Perhaps it was Pinto and Pollak’s tension between beauty and misery which made Hydra so mesmerising. Whilst the dancers moved freely with a quality so lyrical, the barren grey stage held them hostage in the cell-like space. A particularly poignant moment was when a long black iron bar was used both to support the dancers and to reject them. Both the men and women would run forward to the horizontal bar, their bodies falling limply either side of it before being pushed upstage. Both their vulnerability and dependency on the bar were evoked. The movement appeared natural and effortless. Surrendering falls articulated from the torso repeated throughout the piece, culminating in the finale when all the dancers bent forward in staggered cannon, as if in pain. The relentless repetition of this collapsing and recovering expressed their suffering, their hell. But as we watched in sadness, white dandelion seeds began to float down from the top of the stage. At first just a few, then more and more, softly brushing over the dancers, covering the stage floor. Were new seeds were to be grown from the pain and death? The soft amber lights and faint birdsong suggested a new dawn, showing something of the continuity of life, its ability to renew and prevail death. Rachel Gildea

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Literature Guildford Book Festival

Get those creative juices flowing....

This week marks the end of the Guildford Book Festival, but for all the Surrey students who weren’t able to attend and want to catch up on what you missed (possibly so that you can kick yourself for not going) here are the highlights from this year, as selected by Professor Wynne- Davies, Head of the English Department and a member of the Book Festival Committee. October 15th saw the arrival of Emma Darwin, Maeve Haran and Elizabeth Buchan to the Guildford Library in what proved to be a fascinating discussion on historical fiction. Emma Darwin in particular formed strong links with the University by giving a separate talk to Creative Writing students in English Department that was thoroughly enjoyed by all who attended. October 16th combined good writing and good food at The Mandolay Hotel, where two very skilled but very different writers Sandi Toksvig and Val McDermid discussed their literary journeys over fine wine (which is the only proper way to do it really!). McDermid is an international bestselling author, whose writing inspired the ITV series Wire in the Blood, and Toksvig has written a range of books and is currently involved in working in the University’s new British Research Institute for Humour Studies (and that’s a real thing, in case you were wondering). October 22nd saw a well-attended event too, as Edna O’Brien discussed her new biography on the life of the infamous Lord Byron with John Miller, Artistic Director of the Winchester Festival. Whilst the strong turnout might have initially been due to the inclusion of Byron in the English syllabus, the lively and informative talk was enjoyable for both English and Non-English students alike, and Professor Wynne-Davies described it as a real ‘coup to get Edna O’Brien’. With the Festival now over all thoughts turn to next year. With the inclusion of Alwyn Marriage (Honorary Research Fellow at Surrey) also on the Festive Committee it promises to be an even greater success. For those of you still debating about writing it in your diaries, bear in mind the brilliant student deals being planned (with many events FREE) and mark down October 2010 as a month not to be missed. Eunice Njagi

TWITTER usually used to refer to the gentle noises made by birds or to someone chatting in an overexcited manner has recently taken on a whole new meaning. Now, if someone mentions ‘Twitter’ they are most likely to be talking about the latest internet craze. It allows people to simply share their thoughts and pictures with the world. It seems its all over the place, so much so that that discussions have been taking place in Hollywood as to whether celebrities using it on sets should still be allowed. Twitter’s popularity doesn’t look set to diminish. So if you haven’t got Twitter check it out! I’m off to tweet something myself.

WORD OF THE MOMENT

Laura Bright

Could Literature Expose the Gap in British Politics? Anyone who watched the controversial edition of Question Time this month, where an invitation was extended to the neo-fascist British National Party to appear alongside legitimate politicians, will know of the ethical implications that were involved in broadcasting it. Whether granting BNP leader Nick Griffin a platform to voice his ignorance has helped or hindered the cause of his party is beside the point; what many now want to know is exactly why such an extremist ideology has begun to flourish in the first place.

mainstream politics, a phenomenon that has not been helped by the recent recession. The victory of the far right MEP candidate Andrew Brons in Yorkshire and the Humber during the European Elections last June only illustrates this theory with disturbing accuracy.

politicians are failing to address.

Too relevant for proletarian fiction but too graphic for an impartial portrayal of Yorkshire life, Peace has proved time and again that his unique blend of suspense thriller writing and topical subject matter (such as themes So what can be done to bridge the gap and restore of police corruption in his now infamous Red communication in constituencies? The solution Riding Quartet recently adapted for television) may lie in literature. Whilst the issue has largely offer a gripping genre that both entertains and been ignored in recent years with the erosion of informs the reader of a different world. class politics, budding contemporary novelists such as Yorkshire-born David Peace have been A world that needs to be understood Political commentators speculate the attempting to highlight the social and historical and reconciled with, before victimising answer can be found in regions remote from context behind the dwindling traditional working misinformed bigots on panel shows. the metropolitan rat race of West London; classes, a people largely forgotten in the hustle impoverished areas long since blighted by and bustle of Westminster. Peace’s novels are Tom Goulding Thatcherism and neglected more recently under often dark uncomfortable reads of relentless the idealism of New Labour. Here, ordinary men social realism; yet such works are important on and women have become disillusioned with shedding light into the origins of an issue that

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The Sweet Taste Of Tears

It’s the greatest fall But this time you make sure I won’t find my way back up The sun sets and I’m stuck within this shade As you move on towards the light But somehow I can’t forget

Your cold fingertips Your golden smile The softness of your lips

‘Say Hello’ What stopped you from saying ‘Hi’ to me as I walked past today? You didn’t know me? Your broken shoelace put you in a bad mood? Hmmph! Rubbish excuses. In fact, how many people can say they are so joyful that they just love to spread this joy to the people around them? It seems it had become too taxing to simply say ‘Hello,’ or ‘How are you?’ or even, ‘Splendid weather we’re having this fine morning’ (used with a sarcastic tone on the whole in Britain) to our fellow human beings.

Thought of the day....

I remember I went to the corner-shop once (as you do) and as I walked out with my fresh bread, a man pulled me back with a magical mixture of splendiferous words. He exclaimed, ‘Hey mate, top of the morning to you!’ No, he wasn’t a leprechaun, but those words made me feel unexpectedly brilliant. Since then I’ve found realized that seeing people smile makes me feel good, but making them smile makes me feel fabulous. So go ahead, see what a simple ‘Hello’ could do for you.

And the sweet taste of tears Bhavan Aujla aka Mr. Marshmallow But I’ll remember, always The times you held my head up high And showed me how it felt to feel alive

Why We Should Remember White crosses mark the unknown graves far off in foreign lands. The bloodshed and the massacre, the blame lies in whose hands? The Tommie’s in their trench of mud, condemned to a living hell. We must not forget it was for us all that many comrades fell.

Torn for the second time But the only time I bleed -‘I love you more’

I laugh.

Throughout the Great War the poets did pen their thoughts in striking verse. Rosenberg, Brooke and Owen too were all lost to the curse. The innocence, the talent lost; the death of a generation. Fighting in Ypres, Arras and The Somme to defend our beloved nation. Is anyone going to heed the warnings and take note of the past? The needless deaths and casualties, how much longer can it last?

‘I love you more’

Protesting on the streets of London to make a difference to the plan, To us they never listen and send more troops to Afghanistan.

I cry.

by Shervin Hejazi

There’s never been a more relevant time to support a worthy cause. The British Legion strives to help all those affected by the wars. Their bravery and sacrifice can never be denied.

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Ensuring every Armistice Day we can wear our red poppies with pride. By Sarah George

The Mishaps Of Jennifer Lee One Latte One Purse One Bag ‘This utterly blows’ she thought to herself. Jennifer stepped into the elevator of the ninth floor and reluctantly pressed ‘G’. She stood awkwardly all alone, trying to get over the previous embarrassment that caused not only herself to frown, but Ms Harley too. The mishap all started over an espresso, two cappuccinos and a cursed skinny latte. Not only did she now refuse to trust Ms Harley’s essential skinny hot drink, but she also made a vow never to trust the coffee cup holders at The Coffee Bean again. It was their fault, she reassured herself. Ten minutes ago, she was leaning on Ms Harley’s office door being caught up in a ‘passing by’ conversation with Matt Howard. There she was in my vintage white suit, conversing with Matt, holding a latte in the coffee holder, when abruptly, she felt the door suddenly open....To put it bluntly, she completely lost her balance. So that’s how she found herself leaving work, with small specks of coffee on herself, but the majority on Ms Harley. After being demanded to leave the office, she was in severe need of retail therapy. Unlike any other day when she went shopping, she felt that today of all days she had a good excuse - to indulge in her favourite Oxford street stores. Six hours later and with approximately four carrier bags in each arm, Jennifer stumbled across a store that was going to make her purse feel very light. Selfridges. A godly name and haven for any girl who really classes herself as a diagnosed shopaholic. Inside the doors millions of delights met her eyes, and with her credit card feeling cool and slim and strong in her hand, how could she refuse a purchase? One hour later, Jennifer, unable to choose between two bags, decided she needed both. At the check out, she unleashed her overused Platinum Capital One Credit Card; and joyfully entered her pin number. She smiled to herself, looking up smugly at the assistant, only to be confronted with those dreaded words, “I’m afraid your card was declined, Madam’ Declined. The word rang in her head. Surely she hadn’t maxed out her card.. “Would you like me to try again Madam?” Jennifer knew what she would have to do, and although it pained her to say this, gradually she pondered “could you just try the one bag, instead of two - the Gucci one please”. A nervous Jennifer entered her pin and stared at the assistant. This was the most painful wait Jennifer had ever experienced, but to her relief, the transaction went through. Now with one bag, Jennifer thought, the world is nearly right again – until tomorrow? Steff Lever

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Film Get the popcorn ready.....

Five Scariest Moments in Film History Scary moments can affect us the most in cinema and it is obviously rare you come across them often these days. If you are lucky enough to come across something that is really scary, the first time you see it, it is somewhat vaguely shocking, but you probably will not want to come back to it again. Yet somehow, you can’t, it catches up to all of us. It will come back to stalk us and eventually you have to make a tough decision on whether to face it again.

What is strange though, is that throughout your life you can’t help but feel a sense of interest for that scene; one half of your brain desperately wants to see it again. You don’t want to though, the strange feeling of shock is so powerful that you want to but can’t. The film that started it all will be watched at a friend’s house in which you are thinking of multiple strategies to avoid it, whether it be that midway trip to the loo or to take a call on your mobile (that’s alright, your mum and you planned ahead). Different shocks mean a lot to different people and the cliché is that different people have different tastes. True, you want to reinforce your belief that what you saw was shocking. However, as soon as that moment is past when your friends are watching that moment and you are “making the tea” in the kitchen, your friends hardly flinch and you demand answers. Shock can come in different forms and it is intriguing to go into the detail involved. Many critics can argue that the most effective can be psychological and that what YOU see is not what is actually seen. Not every shocking scene is horror, Peter Jackson’s best film Heavenly Creatures exploits the personal relationship between child and her mother, to bring a painfully upsetting and unsettling climax that is hard to take for the wider audience. The common visual aspect of shock that is widely used is often snubbed at, but what is grotesque on screen makes us curious and uncomfortable at the same time. Clive Barker once said, “I dislike intensely the kind of horror that doesn’t give you at least a glimpse of what you’re supposed to be scared of”. What is presented to us can be intriguing and disturbing through visceral bodily content or beautifully horrific creatures, which has appealed to many directors. Obvious examples include David Cronenberg or Dario Argento. As time has gone on, we now live in an age in which it feels that Hollywood is lacking behind the pack with pointless remakes of foreign affairs such as The Eye, The Ring, The Grudge to name a few (rated 12A). Then you have the press dub ‘torture

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porn’ (which I get sick and tired of hearing) films which are boresome and frankly tiring horror films made with content that isn’t really new and innovative, but rather underground horror nasties from the seventies and eighties. As we reflect now at the scariest moments, all will flock out to see Saw VI in which the template will be all the same and the executions will be all the more boring and flat, but these are memories which stick:

monastery. As an audience member we feel an uncomfortable sense of wanting to know and at the same time dread to think.

The figure is reassured that it is safe, until we confront a monstrous face to the one that we hoped would appear. The figure shakes her head as if to say, “No, no, no”. An audience member would feel the same in which we feel doomed and shocked by the spontaneity and terror that is confronted at last. The shocking death at the start and the end is one that is hard to describe as to why it is so shocking, but in the end that is part of the whole enigma of Don’t Look Now. The zoom in of the pond and the tagline says it all “Pass the warning, don’t look now”. 2. The Vanishing (Spoorloos, 1988) Again, there is no getting away from those frightful climaxes, but this one mixes a fear that is all too known (claustrophobia), and the gut-wrenching fear that normal people can do horribly inconceivable things.

1. Don’t Look Now (1973) Venice has never looked so dank, cold, hazy and smudged. From the start there is a sense of impending doom and utter entrapment in which from tragedy, everything is broken and the couple’s lives are hopeless, leading into the dark, mysterious alley that signals the end. However, it is strange why anyone would think that there was even a slim chance, that the couple’s daughter would be alive again. The change of scenery and the moving on is all the more reason to think that it isn’t going to end well. When John (Donald Sutherland) pursues the red-coated figure, we are intensely mystified if there is any vague hope it is she. The beginning is probably one of the bleakest starts to a film, as the clever use of frenetic editing creates one of the parents’ worst nightmares as their daughter is submerged with a highly noted red coat, under the water. During the puzzling story, we witness a series of murders along the Venice canals that sets up the ending, in which the red-coated figure wonders around the foggy, cobbled streets. Finally, the red figure is cornered off at a

This Danish thriller involves a couple on their holiday weekend in France. That is until the wife suddenly disappears from a service station and never returns. The film explores the loss and compulsive knowing of what happened to her. A mysterious man named Raymond is fascinated by the husband’s fixation on wanting to know what happened to her. What follows is a daring proposition towards the husband: either go on not knowing how she disappeared, or experience what happened to his wife. There are many things to take out of just this scene, but what makes it scary is that there is utterly no remorse for the treatment of Howie towards the end. Think what you will about religion, but you can’t deny the sympathy we have for him and a life we assume has been lead by his devouring beliefs we all come across in this day and age. By choosing the latter he loses consciousness and wakes up in a coffin, in which being a claustrophobe is buried alive. Everyone’s worst nightmare comes true and a devastating truth, in which we dared to find out.

3. The Wicker Man (1973)

Haneke had nothing on that.

The film itself is heavily flawed and unorganized due mostly to its tiny, mouse of a budget. Throughout the film, you feel like the film is leading up to something big. And boy, does it.

5. Se7en (1995)

The film has gained a cult following over the years and resurrected from VHS and festival screenings. It went on to be recognized as one of the benchmarks in British horror cinema, and was recently re-made with a dire Nicholas Cage. The remake was just as dull as its star, and with certainly more funny moments for a film that was supposed to be terrifying (for example, “Ma’m, step away from the bike!”). The clash between the creepy pagan rituals and the highly devoted Christian (Sergeant Neil Howie) is one of the main themes of the film. When we see the towering, ugly, ghoulish stick figure against the banging of the drums, our questions about faith are certainly thrown upon. Howie (played convincingly by Edward Woodward) is plagued by the demented inhabitants as they hauntingly sing Sumer Is Icumen In, which to this day cannot be sang without recalling this scene of religious madness. I certainly can’t. The burning of The Wicker Man is summed up by an isolated view of the horizon, while there is an overwhelming feeling of a horrific injustice plagued upon the world. Certainly, if that sense of a bunch of raving lunatics believing in sacrifice doesn’t give you the creeps, Howie emotionally overwhelmed trying to sing over the hundred or so inhabitants swinging their arms with Lord is my Shepherd will. 4. Pinocchio (1940) It’s pretty ridiculous to consider Pinocchio scary. Or is it? If you were a bad boy, it’s the corner or a timeout for you. However, every kid has seen a nice Disney film, but ages ago the earliest Disney characters have the most hardest life lessons to pitch to your children. Whenever it is that everyone dies, do not take candy from strangers, or even do not drink. The one that hit me the most as a child (and admittedly, still does) is this: never EVER…be a naughty boy. No other children’s film put it across as strongly as Pinocchio. The basis of which, if you were naughty, you will turn into a donkey. But it’s scarier than that. Before we see Pinocchio’s newly made mischievous friend transform, the other children (‘donkeys’) are all shouting for their “Mummy” while they are shipped off in boxes for salt mines. This is the more darkly sadistic side of Disney with which you don’t want to associate, but it is just heartbreaking and cruel to see all the innocent children transformed into an animal. It’s almost grotesque. Even Michael

This is more of a personal choice as well as a graphic one. This is one of my favourite mainstream films. It rains everywhere, everything is run down and everything is decaying. The unnamed city is much a portrayal of hell on Earth and the sinners that rule escape unpunished. Throughout the film, a man is working his way through punishing victims guilty of the Seven Deadly Sins. Until the last act of the film, we never see the perpetrator, but as the film goes on, the psychological aspect of pain and torture is effectively put across. We are restricted to the two detectives wandering through dustfilled hallways and greasy walls that lead to a tableau of dead bodies. The one murder out of the seven that is most graphically remembered is the Sloth murder. Like the other murders (apart from the last two), we never see the process by which he’s being punished. We only see the aftermath of the atrocities and the murder itself is quite startling. The SWAT team invades an apartment that is believed to be the one of the killer they are looking for. As the team raid the apartment (a drug den), they come across a bed in which the object is covered over with a bedsheet. As they remove the bedsheet, a physically deteriorated creature with bedsores and dead skin is revealed. The word ‘SLOTH’ is written in fasces above the bed, and it is found out that a drug dealer/pederast was tied to the bed for a year. On any other day, one would feel like they’ve seen it done thousands of times, mainly because of the Saw phenomenon. What Saw definitely lacks, is what Se7en achieves very well: graphic portraits of the tortured individuals that are well executed and are actually chillingly clever. The build up of anticipation and curiosity for what is past the iconic hanging air fresheners or under the bedsheets is very tense. You WANT to know, and yet you dread to think. When you do see the dishevelled corpse, shrunken head, jaw sticking out, you want to know what happened. The scene does not present an accurate picture of how he suffered, but you are shown and presented limited knowledge as a restricted audience, through evidence and photos. The huge contrast in decay from the photos is very disturbing, but what comes after is a sudden shock… The corpse is alive. Just as you are taken off guard from the all the gruesome details being processed, the creature lets out a gurgled gasp for breath. The chaos around matches the sudden panic from the audience and I

believe to this day it is the biggest scare of Nineties mainstream cinema. Honorable Mentions 6. The Exorcist (1973) – Wow, 1973 was a busy year. I don’t like the film as much as most people, but there is something unsettling about relentless masturbation with the use of a crucifix, and the incessant obscenities towards ones mother. We all know this one, but at the same time, you can’t leave a list without it. 7. Mulholland Drive (2001) – David Lynch is beautifully weird, but like Eraserhead every scene can appear like a childhood trauma, and the unexplainable can be inconceivably hideous. This is going back to my point about how an audience can be disturbed by what can appear round a corner. The scene at ‘Winkies’ in which a man recollects a nightmare, cleverly plays on the familiar theme of the similarity between ‘reality’ and ‘surrealism’. We dread to think what every corner brings. 8. Un Chien Andalou (1928) – The poor audiences of 1928. To this day we hate eyes being gouged out (see Zombie Flesh Eaters), it’s something very delicate and sensitive, having those slashed with a razor is an imagination not worth knowing. You would have thought things slowly progressed over the years in terms of filmmaking. There was no nonsense for Bunuel and Dali. 9. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986) – Michael Rooker is brilliant as a frowning, unbalanced killer whose reason for killing is as much a mystery for him as it is for us. When his friend visits him, the two embark on numerous random murders. There is one scene in which they gleefully watch a recording of one of their horrific deeds. An uncomfortable example of murky sadism set in the wake of Eighties culture, video cameras and knock-off TVs. 10. Alien (1979) – The countless parodies of this moment make it overly familiar, but set in a film where you have only got a crew as your only source of help, it is intense. John Hurt has been abused many times during the film and you want to end up with the feeling that everything is over after the incident with the face hugger. The main context of the chestbuster scene is the male’s fear of pregnancy, that giving birth to a creature and the overwhelming pain of not knowing what is inside you. It’s only one-third of the way through the film, they are all sitting down at the table, please let that be. Ollie Sim

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Fantastic Mr Fox (PG)

Based on the Roald Dahl book is this film made by Wes Anderson for Wes Anderson. The plot is about a cunning fox that uses his wit to outsmart three farmers who provide chickens. However, when Mr. Fox (voiced by George Clooney) moves with his family near to the farms, the three farmers force the animals underground.

port in one hand. It is a film with a more than

and talking and talking. In the screening I was in, there were children who were excited upon entering the cinema. During the film, there was not one laugh from the group of kids and to be honest, not much from the adults either. I was thinking, what kid is going to understand jokes about ‘existentialism’? It is way too for a child and too smug towards an older audience. I’m sure Up is still playing.

The good: The stop-motion animation is well done and the lush use of orange and red is impressive. If stop-motion animation is still among our cinemas, it is great to see it being used.

2/5 acceptable running time at 88 minutes, but The bad: It is not a film for children or for young even with that in mind, it is (to put it bluntly) Ollie Sim kids; it is a film made for people who swirl their boring. Wes Anderson is hell bent on just talking

The Cove (12A)

This nature documentary is hardly represented by the poster it sports: a harmonious one-sheet of dolphins surrounding a silhouette of a diver with a flipper, rising to the surface. It is actually an expose into the killing of dolphins in a hidden cove in Taiji, Japan. Hardly March of the Penguins. The film centres around Richard O’Barry who was a trainee on the well-known kids show ‘Flipper’. He tells the bizarre story of a dolphin who ‘committed suicide’ in his arms while he was doing the show. From then on, it has been his quest to document the evil practices used to herd dolphins in order to be sold to aquariums or

worse, slaughtered. This is a change of approach for me, who still thinks that An Inconvenient Truth is more of a television slideshow than a film. The Cove is actually a compelling thriller trapped in a nature documentary. It is therefore impressive to become engaged in the matter of nature in peril than having Al Gore bore us to death. If only nature documentaries were often this subversive, involving, captivating or indeed, direct. 4/5 Ollie Sim

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (12A) The review rating does not really help to get an idea of how this film does or doesn’t work. Terry Gilliam is a director I heavily admire because no matter how many adversaries he has to overcome, he really comes across as a director who works for cinema and not the cash cow. The prime conflict in this back-story is the death of Heath Ledger, who died half way through production. He plays Tony, a quirky outsider who is saved from death by a travelling magical troupe called ‘The Imaginarium’. The group of magicians are overseen by Doctor Parnassus (Christopher Plummer), who made a deal with the Devil (played with the nose to the grindstone, Tom Waits) for him to hand over his daughter (Lily Cole) on her sixteenth birthday. The problem with the absence of Heath Ledger is sorted quite immaculately. The three actors that are his alter-self on the other side of the mirror are Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell. Each actor does their part with such grace that you cannot help

thinking about how much professionalism went towards getting the film finished. On the other hand, the film is a giant ball of mixed ambitions and its fair share of problems. It does have the occasional, beautiful set piece, but narrative-wise it struggles to find its way. It is a whimsical headache of a film that has all the elements of a Terry Gilliam film that should work. The quirkiness does not distract me, but there I feel there was something more that this film should have said. Whether it be grief, whether it be tragedy, I feel almost frustrated that its heavy load was all whimsical. An admirable failure.

2/5 Ollie Sim

[email protected]

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Saw VI (18) It is very difficult to keep track of the Saw series anymore. Like with many horror films that have been, they start solid (A Nightmare on Elm Street, Hellraiser, Friday the 13th, Puppet Master) and with much success of the first film comes a barrage of film after film. I can only imagine Saw meeting a similar fate and there is a straight-to-DVD shelf just waiting for future Saw movies.

more creative (the shotgun roundabout is sort of neat), which will be no problem for fans and hey, nothing is going to stop them from seeing this one. For everyone else, it is like watching a bunch of hens in a cage. It’s all confusing for anyone who is still bothering the follow this already tired franchise. Plot makes no sense, all the actors have just left pilots of failed TV shows, and that Charlie Clouser score is getting on my nerves. 1/5

The only positive thing to say is that the traps are

Ollie Sim

1) Nine

one to look out for. A modern adaptation of the classic tale, Wonderland is given a much more sinister twist that makes it so much more than just a children’s film. With special effects that promise to be even better in 3D, this movie is guaranteed to take the imagination to its limits, and provide a thoroughly enjoyable cinematic experience for 2010.

5 Movies I CANNOT Wait To See....

Director: Rob Marshall, Release Date: 25th December 2009 OK, my enthusiasm for this movie might be slightly exaggerated by the fact that I’ve had the trailer as one of my favourites on YouTube for about a month and half now. Based loosely on the film 8½ by Fellini – a ‘semi-autobiographical movie...and possibly the first film within a film’ – and as an adaptation of the Broadway production, the film is a dramatic musical with a seemingly even greater extravagance than Chicago or Memoirs of a Geisha (Marshall’s earlier works). The plot focuses on the mid-life crises faced by a director, and the control held over him by the women in his life. That said, when it comes to movies like this the cast often speaks for itself - and with Daniel Day-Lewis, Penelope Cruz, and Dame Judi Dench as just a few of the top names on the bill, the acting is guaranteed to be worth the wait. Add to that international talent such as Marion Cotillard, whose amazing performances in Love Me If You Dare and La Vie En Rose have definitely made her one to watch, and a happy Christmas is almost guaranteed. 2) Alice in Wonderland

3) Harry Brown Director: Daniel Barber Release Date: 11th November 2009 Michael Cain always brings a level of prestige to any film he works on, and Harry Brown is no exception. Playing an elderly man turned vigilante, the movie combines drama and thriller as Cain goes on a mission of revenge, after the death of a close friend at the hands of local youths. Whilst this movie definitely has strong echoes of Gran Torino and The Brave One the British setting makes it a strongly poignant and contemporary movie that will stay in your head long after you leave the cinema. 4) New Moon Director: Chris Weitz Release Date: 20th November 2009

the book for at least a solid couple of days. That said, the trailer for this film looks surprisingly accurate and wonderfully cinematic, with the scenes filmed in Italy boasting all the colour and extravagance usually reserved to East Asian cinema like Hero, and the addition of Michael Sheen to the cast was an added bonus. If you’re not a Twilight fan - which is probably quite a lot of people in Surrey - you can take comfort in the fact that once this temporary hysteria is over, there will be at least a six month gap before the next instalment Eclipse (June 2010). 5) Whip It Director: Drew Barrymore Release Date: TBC Although the transition from actor to director can be a bit swing-miss, I have high hopes for this feel good comedy starring Ellen Page, playing the reluctant debutante who discovers roller derby, as well as Barrymore herself and Eve as part of the Derby team. Set in a small modern day town, this coming-of-age drama is based on the book Derby Girl by Shauna Cross, real life derby athlete who also wrote the screenplay. Boasting a brilliant soundtrack and guaranteed to leave you with a smile, watch this space for the further details.

While I’ll admit the acting in these films has always left something to be desired, when Eunice Njagi nd Release Date: 2 April 2010 it comes to the Twilight Saga I’m about as hardcore a fan as they come. I’ll happily admit Although we’ve got a pretty long wait ahead of us to having pre-booked my ticket for the midnight for this film, with Johnny Depp on the cards and screening of this film already, and will probably Tim Burton’s already impressive resume when end up complaining about any changes made for it comes to the slightly strange, this is definitely Director: Tim Burton

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THE HOTTEST TICKETS IN TOWN GET YOURS FOR JUST £5 AT THE GYM OR EVEN CHEAPER ONLINE ONLY AT WWW.GUILDFORDHEAT.COM

36

Sport In Guildford

With the 2012 Olympics not far away and with London so close, you seem almost spoilt for choice for sport in the South East. But staying a little closer to home, what sports are on tap in Guildford? Name: Guildford Flames Sport: Ice Hockey Based: The Spectrum Founded: 2002 League: English Premier Ice Hockey League Colours: Blue, white and red The Guildford Flames, currently second in the second tier of English Ice Hockey, have seen a surprising amount of success since the formation of the team in 2002. Having won the division in the 2005/06 and 2007/08 seasons, the Flames share their logo with the Calgary Flames in Canada and are right on the tail of current leaders Milton Keynes Lightning. Current player Milos Melicherik is second in the all time Flames scoring list as he looks to lead the team forward with their brand of fast paced, exciting Ice Hockey. Their next home games are on the 1st November at 18:00 against Peterborough, followed by the visit of Basingstoke to the Spectrum on the 8th. Student prices start from £5.50. Name: Guildford Heat Sport: Basketball Based: The Spectrum Founded: 2005 League: British Basketball League Colours: Black and red The Heat are one of the top Basketball teams in the country, having won the BBL Championship in 2006/07, winning the play offs in 2007/08 and the BBL Cup in 2006/07 and 2007/08, and were the first British team to compete in the ULEB Eurocup since 2004. They have won 4 of their first 5 games of the season and are looking to continue that form in their upcoming home fixtures on the 1st November at 15:00 against Worthing Thunder and 22nd November against Plymouth Raiders. Student prices start from just £4.20. Name: Aldershot Town

Double Win for Surrey Rugby Surrey Rugby has had one of the best starts to the season in the history of the club with both teams posting big wins against opposition. Surrey First’s played away to local rivals Royal Holloway and posted an impressive 17-6 win with the first try coming from the newly appointed captain James Roberts and successive tries coming from Matthew Allen and the returning Jon West. Commendations should be given to Jimmy Large for a fantastic performance earning him man of the match. The Two’s smashed Sussex at home 19-0 with great performances all round. Both teams are hot favourites for promotion this year so keep up to date with future articles to see how the teams are progressing. Congratulations to all the Fresher’s who have joined the club and made their debuts on the pitch! Part of the success this year is down the new coach Matt Bray who has been watching both teams and giving expert advice, which had resulted in vast improvements in skill, organisation and team cohesion on the pitch. Much of the credit should also be given to the new committee this year for raising the sponsorship over the summer which has resulted in the teams being able to have a coach for the first time in the club’s history. Apart from the hard work on the pitch and in training, the squad members have been putting their brawn to good use this year by taking part in voluntary work. For example, 15 members of the team spent this Saturday helping out in an elderly persons garden, completely free of charge. It was good fun, although some players said it was more physical than matches! Finally, on Wednesday the 11th of November Surrey First team will take on St Georges at the Varsity with kick off at 2:30. Please come and show your support for the team and enjoy drinks or lunch while watching. As always, if you are thinking of joining the team come down and introduce yourself to one of the players and we would be delighted to get you involved!! Mathew Allen

The Girls Are Back In Town Womens Football Surrey 3-1 Middlesex The Womens Football team this week picked up a well deserved 3-1 win at home to Middlesex, building on last weeks solid 1-1 draw with Imperial. Holly Wade chipped in with a brace with Sam Baker adding the other as Surrey continued their undefeated start to the season. If you are interested in being a part of the University of Surrey Women’s football team training takes place every Thursday between 6-8pm at the Varsity Centre. All ability levels are accommodated for and new players are always welcome, so whether you are a seasoned player or are just looking to stay fit this is the perfect opportunity. Wednesday night sees the team enjoy their socials which usually begins in Chancellors from 8pm and is a great chance to meet the team off the pitch. The next game will be on Wednesday, 4th November at Brunel. For more information, please email [email protected] or join the Facebook group, “University of Surrey Women’s Football Club”.

Sport: Football Based: Recreation Ground, Aldershot Founded: 1992 League: Coca Cola League Two Colours: Red and blue Travelling just 20 minutes from Guildford by train is the most local Football League club. Since forming in 1992 following the folding of the previous incarnation, Aldershot have fought their way up the leagues where they now face the likes of Notts County, Bradford and Northampton. They currently sit just outside the play offs following a slight dip in form, but Caretaker Manager, Southampton legend Jason Dodd is confident of a return to form, perhaps starting with their next home game against Bury in the FA Cup on 7th November, and then in the league on the 14th against Macclesfield. Student prices start from £12.

Together with the Students’ Union we strive to provide you with the best opportunities to participate in sport whilst you are studying at Surrey. We are proud to be able to offer a large range of sporting facilities which are split between two sites, the Sports Centre and the Varsity Centre, as well as external facilities that are utilised by some of the Union clubs. T: 01483 (68)9201 (Sports Centre) T: 01483 (68)9242 (Varsity Centre) E: [email protected] www.unisport.co.uk

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Inside Sport With David Holt

In this feature I’ll meet with people from University sports teams to try and gain an insight in to their sport. This week I met with Nicola Vernon, who is the captain of the Women’s Hockey 1st team. Hi, Nicola. How many teams do you have at Surrey, and what sort of ability level are you at? We have five teams in total, two men’s, two ladies and a mixed team. We accommodate for all levels of ability and have players currently ranging from those that have never picked up a stick before to those that have played county and even regional level. Our coach Athers is great at organising training to make sure everyone gets maximum benefit from it. How often do you play? We train twice a week, Sundays and Tuesday 6-8pm at Varsity, aka The Fortress! We also play matches on a Wednesday afternoon and on a Saturday. All four teams play in to BUCS league on a Wednesday and three of them play in non-university leagues on a Saturday, so there is plenty of opportunity to get matches! How are the teams doing this year? The Ladies 2nds have gotten off to the best start, having won 8-0 and 14-1 in their first two matches! The 1st team got promoted last year so are in a harder league and have started well, like the mens teams. What is the social life like? I’m sure you’ve heard us on a night out in Channies! We’re very sociable, going out every Wednesday, we have bar crawls - our latest being Wingman Wingleader - and we have a Christmas meal and End of Season Presentation coming up, and we go on three tours a year. But it’s about more than just drinking and going out, we socialise a lot and it’s a great way to meet people and have fun. What would someone need to do to get involved with Women’s Hockey at Surrey? Just turn up to training on a Tuesday or Sunday at Varsity in suitable attire, shinpads, a gumshield and we provide the rest! If you want more information, though, you can email me at [email protected]. We’re always looking for new players and it’s not too late to start! Would you like to be interviewed and get the important information about your sport out there? Email David Holt at [email protected] if you would and we can organise an interview for future editions.

University of Surrey Fencing 135-61 Portsomouth

Following last weeks impressive 135-91 away win over Brunel, the University of Surrey Fencing team once again strolled to victory over Portsmouth, scoring the maximum points available for the second week running in a 135-61 win over Portsmouth. This win keeps up the Fencing team’s hopes of winning the 2nd Division, with those in attendance treated to fast paced action, including that of new team member Morgan Schofield, and the team will be looking to continue this good form next Wednesday. If you are interested in getting involved with the university’s fencing team please contact Chris Smith at [email protected] Fencing Team Facing Portsmouth- Chris Smith (epee), David Morgan (epee, foil and sabre), Andrew Knapton (sabre), Morgan Schofield (sabre), Michael Eborn (sabre), James Wood-Fisher (epee, and foil).

Interested in any Triathlons? email [email protected] The Triathlon Alliance - Join either the Swimming & Waterpolo, Cycling (Road/Mountain/Recreational) or Running & Athletics clubs and you will be eligible to train with the other two clubs without paying any additional UniSport membership fees!

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14 October 2009 th

Results

21st October 2009

Badminton

Badminton

Men’s

Men’s

Surrey1 7-1 Imperial College 2 st

nd

Reading 2nd 4-4 Surrey 2

Hertfordshire 2nd 0-8 Surrey 1

Women’s

Surrey 2nd 4-4 Canterbury Christ Church

Surrey 3-5 Brunel

Basketball

Fencing

Thames Valley 75-63 Surrey

Brunel 91-135 Surrey

Fencing

Football

Surrey 135-61 Portsmouth

Men’s

Football

Surrey 1st 1-3 St Mary’s 3

Men’s

Surrey 2 2-1 Chichester 4

Chichester 2nd 1-1 Surrey 1

nd

UCL 3rd 3-2 Surrey 3 Roehampton 5th 2-0 Surrey 5 Women’s Imperial College 1-1 Surrey

Surrey 2nd 2-4 Brighton 5 Surrey 3rd 2-3 Kingston 4 Essex 5th 1-3 Surrey 4

Hockey

Surrey 5th 4-2 Regents College 2

Men’s

Women’s

Kings College 1st 0-1 Surrey 1

Surrey 3-1 Middlesex

Surrey 2nd 3-1 Hertfordshire 2

Hockey

Netball

Men’s

Sussex 1st 28-20 Surrey 1 Surrey 2nd 50-27 London Metropolitan Rugby Brunel 1st 25-15 Surrey 1 Medway 1st 27-12 Surrey 2

Surrey 1st 2-2 Brunel 2 Surrey 2nd 6-1 Buckinghamshire 1 Women’s

Squash

Imperial Medicals 3rd 1-14 Surrey 2

Kings College 1st 1-4 Surrey 1

Netball

Rugby

Surrey 1st 30-29 Kingston 1

Brunel 1st 25-15 Surrey 1

St Mary’s 3rd 43-36 Surrey 2

Medway 1st 27-12 Surrey 2

Rugby

Squash

Men’s

Kings College 1 1-4 Surrey 1 st

Tennis Roehampton 1 5-5 Surrey 1 st

Kingston 1st 5-5 Surrey 2 17th October 2009 Hockey

Portsmouth 2nd 5-5 Surrey 1 Surrey 2nd 19-0 Sussex 2 Women’s Surrey 32-10 Buckinghamshire Squash Surrey 1st 2-3 UCL 1

Men’s NPL Bees 3-0 Surrey 2 Women’s

Surrey 1 4-0 Guildford 4 st

Surrey 2nd 3-0 Royal Holloway 2 Tennis Surrey 2nd 0-10 Reading 2

Sport in Brief

England suffered their first defeat of their World Cup 2010 Qualifying campaign as they slumped 1-0 to Ukraine in Kiev in a match which saw West Ham Goalkeeper Rob Green get sent off after just 13 minutes, but the Three Lions saved some of their blushes on Wednesday with a dominant 3-0 win over Belarus at Wembley. David Beckham was announced as man of the match despite only playing 35 minutes, perhaps much to the chagrin of two-goal Peter Crouch, who has now scored 18 goals in 35 games for the national side. Fernando Torres returned from injury to help end Liverpool’s losing streak by scoring the first goal in their 2-1 win over Manchester United on Sunday, causing the Red Devils to slip to second in the Barclaycard Premier League. Liverpool had lost the week before to Sunderland which meant Chelsea’s hammering of Blackburn put them back on top of the table following the previous weeks slip up against Aston Villa. Arsenal threw away a 2-0 lead to draw away to West Ham, with Manchester City following suit by giving away a two goal cushion to Fulham, and following a solid 3-1 win over Portsmouth the week before Tottenham Hotspur went down 1-0 to battling Stoke City at White Hart Lane. Burnley were the only team to fail to pick up any points over the last two weeks with losses to Blackburn and Wigan but are still four points clear of the relegation zone.

Say that then....

There are few things in life quite as irritating as when you reveal to someone that you support a football team in the lower league to then be asked “okay… but what proper team do you support?”, as if the fact that I don’t just follow my team in a five minute segment on Match of the Day every week means I don’t have legitimate footballing taste. The lower leagues of English football provide the backbone, the passion, the hardcore following that works as a perfect accompaniment to the glitz and glamour of Premier League football. But this isn’t to say that I don’t side more towards certain teams in the Worlds Greatest League ™. I still hold Manchester United in regard for the way they brought through an incredible team in the 90’s from their youth system to make them one of the world’s most successful side, and watching an Arsenal match is usually an absolute pleasure due to their attacking, slick passing style. I love the Anfield crowd during a Liverpool Champions League home match and think Martin O’Neill has put together a fantastic team of pace and power at Aston Villa.

Just four days before the win over Manchester United Liverpool’s bad form had continued when they lost to Lyon in the Champions League following an injury time winner from the French side, but there were wins for Manchester United and Chelsea who overcame CSKA Moscow and Athletico Madrid, while Arsenal conceded a late equaliser to draw with AZ. Meanwhile several of the continent’s best teams were shocked by so called lesser opposition as Barcelona and Bayern Munich lost to Rubin Kazan and Bordeaux, while Inter Milan drew with Dynamo Kiev and Real Madrid lost 3-2 to underperforming AC Milan. Scottish champions Rangers made a good start at home to Romanian minnows Unirea Urziceni But there is one team I’ve not mentioned that I can’t help but only to lose 4-1. Despite beating Derby 2-0 in the Championship, Middlesbrough parted ways with long term manager and former club captain Gareth Southgate, promptly replacing him with former Celtic manager Gordon Strachan. ‘Boro currently sit in fourth as leaders Newcastle, now with Chris Houghton in full time charge of the club, overcame Doncaster 2-1 to end a poor run of results, while Cardiff are up to second following two successive wins. Ipswich are still the only team in the top five divisions of English football to still be without a win after drawing with Watford and Swansea. Leeds still lead the way in League One despite losing for the first time this season to Milwall, while closest challengers Charlton recently drew with Gillingham and Oldham and defeated Huddersfield. Southampton are edging closer to leaving the relegation zone with three consecutive 3-1 wins over administration bound Southend United, MK Dons and Oldham. Bournemouth still lead the pack in League Two after having picked up their first win in four against Accrington Stanley and following it up with a win over Grimsby bottom club Darlington picked up their first win under new manager Steve Staunton, only to lose 3-0 the next week against Barnet, leaving them propping up the rest of the football league at the bottom of the table An early explosion promised so much in the Brazilian Grand Prix and it didn’t disappoint as it developed in to one of the most enjoyable races of the year. Rubens Barichello started on pole but gradually slipped down the pack, allowing Mark Webber to pick up the win, but it was Jenson Button who claimed the Drivers Championship after a daring and exciting drive. Braun are said to have offered Button a contract extension with the Brit expected to sign in the coming months, despite interest from McLaren. In Rugby Union England face an injury crisis ahead of their internationals against New Zealand, Argentina and Australia. Easter, Sheridan, Shaw, Flood, Cipriani and Mears are just a few of the names missing out, while Wales find themselves without Jones, Bryne or Phillips, but can welcome back Jenkins and Williams. Saracens are top of Guinness Premiership following a 21-15 win over bottom team and winless Leeds with London Irish just a point the leaders behind following their 18-12 win over Leicester.

admire. A team that hasn’t ever been blessed with a huge transfer budget and is constantly overshadowed by their big, red neighbours despite being one of just a handful of teams to have competed in every Premier League season, to have won a surprising amount of trophies and established themselves as a top 6 team over the last few years. I am talking, of course, about Everton.

It seems that, for some reason, people are starting to forget about the amazing job David Moyes has done at Everton. With a fraction of the transfer budget of the surrounding teams, Moyes has pieced together a fantastic line up of strangely unfashionable players, so while Spurs seem to be raided every summer by any combination of the top 4, Everton have clung on to their players. What makes Michael Carrick an £18m centre midfielder when Tim Cahill, singed for just £1.5m from Milwall, unattractive to the big clubs, especially when Spurs are willing to splash £15m and £16m on David Bentley and Darren Bent respectively? Cahill’s ghosting in to the box has seen him score more headed goals than any other player in the Premier League in the last five years, despite measuring in at just 5’10.

Steve Harmison (who appears likely to sign a new contract at Durham) has been dropped ahead of the English South Meanwhile, his brilliant midfield counterpart Mikel Arteta is African Cricket tour on the grounds of his recent performances having been too. Ravi Bopora also finds himself in the dark similarly away from the spotlight, despite being perhaps the after a disappointing Ashes series, while Luke Wright is the main surprise call up and Jonathan Trott is could find himself most under-rated player in the Premiership. Originally a centre batting from number three. Nikolay Davydenko won the Shanghai Masters in a final against Rafael Nadal to continue his good form just days after jumping two places in the world rankings to number 6, while Andy Murray dropped one place to fourth with Djokovic taking his third position and Roger Federer has hung on to the number one spot ahead of long time rival Rafael Nadal. Serena Williams regains her place at the top of the women’s game, while former world number one Justine Henin will make her comeback from retirement in Australia in January.

Last Sunday’s Brazilian Grand Prix was a fantastic race to watch and was topped off with Jenson Button winning the World Championship. Lewis Hamilton is obviously a very talented driver but with Button winning it somehow seemed different, perhaps because he comes across as such a nice guy. He’s had a lot of criticism for living the playboy lifestyle in the past but he’s a young, talented, good looking, millionaire sportsman, so wouldn’t it be a bit of a waste to have all that and not live the playboy lifestyle?! And anyone who saw him immediately after last Sunday’s Grand Prix will be able to tell you just how much winning the title meant to him.

Is it just me who thinks it’s a real shame that someone watching the news in Plymouth can find out the score to Bolton – Hull in the League Cup on a cold Tuesday night in an instant and yet England Men’s Hockey team recently won their first ever continental title by beating Germany in the European Championship Finals and it was almost entirely unreported? While hockey may not be one of the highest profile or most watched sports in the world, it still has a strong following of fans, and nothing should be taken away from the fantastic achievement of sportsmen from this country who can now call themselves “European Champions”.

Thank God Andrew Flintoff wasn’t knighted following the Ashes win. That act of rewarding the most charismatic and interesting member of the England Cricket team would be like handing Ricky Hatton whichever title he wants without having to fight for it. “Freddie” might have an appeal which not many cricketers can compete with, but it’s still a team game and ultimately Flintoff was a part of the team with a functional role to play. His batting average was a mere two runs better than Steve Harmison during the Ashes and he took two less wickets than Graham Onions despite playing in an extra match, so by that reckoning most of the squad should receive knighthoods too. At the end of the day, it is the whole team that deserves the praise and not one man who is partially a media creation and who had an average test series at best.

midfielder, he has come in to his own on the wing with his fantastic dribbling and distribution technique and was the most fouled player in the league last year, an important stat when you realise 14 of Everton’s 52 goals in the 06-07 season came direct from an Arteta set piece. If I were to ask you which African player has scored the most goals in the history of the Premier League chances are Yakubu wouldn’t be your first guess. Having scored 80 goals in 165 games, just under a goal every other game, it took him just 11 minutes to score in his first game of this season after a spell of almost a year on the sidelines, making him one of the most potent and dangerous front men in the country.

These are just three of the focal points of the Toffees, and completely pass over the likes of Jagielka, Heitinga, Fellaini, Baines et al, none of whom have been linked to high profile, big money moves in the summer. And lest we forget, Joleon Lescott would still by playing in Merseyside if Manchester City didn’t have money to burn. And perhaps most impressively, their greatest strength might be not so much in the -ability of their players but capability to work as a team. So they may have had a slow start to the season, as evidenced by their humiliating 5-0 loss to Benfica in the Europa League, but the one team I will be willing on in the Premier League this year is a team with a small transfer budget and unfashionable players. Which is about as much proof as you need for me being a lower league football fan.

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