Straight Talk, July 2008

Barack Obama met his Kenyan father only once when he was 10. The absence of a father was a sadness in his life. But Obama was brilliant and hardworking and made the best of his life. Now he may be the next United States president.

Readers are leaders. Be a reader!

Win a copy of Obama's book! Congs to Maureen Mukisa of Brixton Standard. She won the novel Purple Hibiscus for her great story "Reunion with Dad" in Straight Talk's June quiz.

Answer these questions: Is your father a leader or a ruler? Are talkative women appreciated in your village? Why? Why not? Send your stories to Straight Talk PO Box 22366, Kampala.

008 .3 July 2 o N 4 1 l. Vo

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Rape is a reality in our world: 20% of girls say that they have suffered sexual violence. Girls, try not to put yourself in situations where rape can happen. But if you are raped, know that it is not the end of the world. There is help out there for you.

is never a joke. It is never funny. It is never sexy. It is always a crime.

R

ape is when a woman or a girl is forced or deceived into sex. Rape is not caused by an uncontrollable sexual urge that comes over a male. "Rape is a behaviour that is chosen," says Timothy Serubiri, counsellor at Naguru Teeange Centre, Kampala. "Males make the choice to rape." About half of all girls who are raped are raped by a stranger. The others are raped by people known to the girl: a classmate, ex-boyfriend, neighbour or relative. Females who are raped include: girls in school uniforms, babies, married women, girls who have boyfriends, quiet girls who have never been to a disco, girls who collect firewood...

TRUE STORY

If the girl is very young or the rape is very violent, the female may have to go to theatre for an operation to repair the damaged vagina or anus.

"I live in Kabale. I was walking through sorghum gardens when a man I had never seen before jumped out and grabbed me. He pushed me to the ground. I fought and screamed and screamed. But no one came, except another man, who stood and watched me being raped. He was holding a panga. I thought he might rape me too and also cut me. So I stopped screaming and let the man finish raping me. After the rape I went to the Health Centre 4. They gave me ARVs for a month. I have tested and I did not get HIV from the rape. They never caught the rapist. I did not recognise him."

Rape survivors often feel ashamed. But you must tell someone. Even if you were somewhere you should not have been -- like at your boyfriend's house -or even if you were wearing a mini that your mother told you not to wear, be strong and tell a trusted adult. You need treatment.

Sadly this story is a common one: rape in a lonely place. But what is good and new is that this girl was able to get medicine to prevent HIV from "taking root" in her body. Read more about this medicine, called PEP, on P3.

If someone tries to rape you, shout, scream and make as much noise as possible.

But now there is hope There is new medicine that blocks HIV after rape If you are raped and exposed to HIV-infected semen, you can take medicine that stops the virus from establishing itself in your body. Called PEP, this medicine is ARVs, the same medicine that many people with HIV take. But in your case, you would take it for just a month. PEP is now available at 279 health centres in Uganda.

You look so shocked. Whatever it is, you can tell me. You must tell, baby. What happened?

I was raped.

This is so bad. When? Where?

I feel so ashamed. Why did I go there?

Yesterday. At Frank's house.

Oh, no...Ok, Ok, baby, calm down.

What will I do? What if he has HIV?

No. No. You will be OK. We will rush to the health centre. We will get you medicine to stop the HIV.

Really, Granny? Oh God, I can't believe it.. Thank you..

2 Straight Talk, July 2008

Testimonies of rape If a girl is wearing a miniskirt, it does not mean she deserves to be raped. "It can happen no matter what she is wearing," says rape counsellor Serubiri Timothy. Rape is a conscious act on the part of the male, he says. Victims never ask for it. Rape has nothing to do with whether you have ever had sex before. You can stay safer by not going to risky places and not taking alcohol. Listen to your inner voice (instinct). If you are alone with a boy cousin or in a dormitory and you sense danger, leave immediately.s. I live with my uncle. One night I went alone to fetch water from the well. As I made my way home, a man jumped from the bush, threw my jerrycan to the ground and raped me. Too scared to tell my uncle, I told his wife that I had been in a bad fight. Two months later, I had an HIV test at Gulu Youth Centre. It was positive. Girl, 18, Gulu Mum couldn't take me with her in her new marriage. So I went to live with her brother. He was not married and would force me into sex almost daily. I had no one to tell. In S3 I found out that I was pregnant. When I told my uncle, he said I should abort, but I was scared. He sent me away and moved to another place. I did not know where my mum lived so I went to the streets. Some ladies who work with Posta Uganda helped and took me to Naguru Teenage Centre. I was then taken to Hope After Rape. They got me a home. Girl, 16, Wakiso

advise fellow fellow II advise girls in in my my girls situation not not to to situation lose hope. Rape lose hope. Rape is not not the the end end of of is life. Girl, 16, life. Girl, 16, Wakiso Wakiso

First get PEP then go to police Last year over 12,230 girls aged less than 18 were defiled: 231 were girls aged between 0 and eight years of age.

First get PEP, then go to police.

If you’ve been raped: • Know that you have done nothing wrong. • Tell someone you trust. • Go immediately to the nearest health centre and tell the health worker what has happened. • If you are not offered PEP, ask about it and insist on receiving it. It is FREE. • Accept to be tested for HIV. • Ask for emergency family planning pills to prevent pregnancy.

Avoid lonely places: fight and shout if attacked • Go only to safe places where others can see you. Try not to walk by yourself at night or in lonely places. • Avoid wearing clothes that suggest that you want sex. Do not take alcohol.

These must be taken within 72 hours of the rape. • Do not bathe. Go to see the police who will have a doctor fill out a form, confirming that you were raped. • Keep your clothing as evidence. • Get counselling. Minimise the physical consequences of rape by taking early action. Be strong!

Boys also get raped by both men and women. Nearly 10% of males in Uganda have ys suffered sexual violence. Bo s. anu the in ed rap be can

Males find it difficult to talk it about rape. They think that it or s ale fem only happens to means that they are "girly". That is wrong. Boys, if you are sexually to assaulted, tell someone. Go ly ate edi a health centre imm for PEP.

If attacked from behind

If attacked from the front

Hit him hard in the stomach with your elbow. With your heel, kick him hard in his lower leg or knee.

Make fists and hit him on each side of his head, or on his ears.

Step down hard on his foot with your heel. Reach back with your hand, grab his testicles and squeeze them hard.

He dropped me in an isolated place. I felt very bad. When I got home, I told my mother, though it was hard for me. The next day, she took me to Naguru Teenage Centre, where I was given drugs to prevent pregnancy and HIV transmission. Girl, 17

raped too It is not just girls: boys get

If you have a boyfriend... • and are afraid to be alone with him, visit him with a friend. Also, re-think your relationship. Why should you be with a boy you fear? • If you visit him when he is alone, decide ahead how much touching is OK for you. Do not get caught by your feelings and just let things happen. • Move away if he touches you in ways that you do not like. Your feelings are warning you that something worse may happen. • If he wants sex and you do not, tell him that you are not ready. • If he insists, get up and leave. Say NO with your body. Shout if you have to.

I was going home to Kibuye from Ntinda. It was 9 pm. I was alone. A man stopped to give me a lift. I was desperate to reach home, so I accepted. As soon as I entered the car, he pulled out a pistol Rape is so and said if painful but there's still light I made at the end of the noise, he dark tunnel. would kill me. He drove a short distance, stopped and raped me.

Dig your fingers hard into his eyes.

Lift your knee, and push it as hard and fast as you can into his testicles (balls).

who All over the world boys e are in prison suffer raplt by older and stronger adu prisoners.

Boys! " Being a man isn’t having sex with a woman against her will. Use your strength for women’s benefit. Prevent violence against girls. They are your future wives." Tina Musuya, Centre for Domestic Violence Prevention, Kampala

3

Straight Talk, July 2008

The PEPinfection PEP science preventsofHIV Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP) is an exciting medical advance. In the past, females who were raped just had to pray that they did not get HIV. Now there is medicine they can take. But rape survivors should take PEP within 24 hours of being raped. After 72 hours PEP has much less success in stopping the HIV.

Do not waste time If you have been raped and need PEP, the doctor will first test you for HIV. If you test HIV-negative you will receive PEP. If possible the accused rapist will also be tested. Says Dr Watiti: "Unfortunately, rape survivors waste valuable time by first going to LCs and police. Make sure you start on PEP, then begin the legal process. Alongside ARVs, you may be given emergency family planning to stop pregnancy."

What is PEP? PEP is a four week course of antiretroviral tablets (ARVs). ARVs are the medicines that people who have HIV take to control the virus. In the case of PEP, the ARVs can stop HIV from entering your body's cells, multiplying and "taking root".

You have a right to PEP: PEP is free All rape and defilement survivors, boys included, are entitled to free PEP treatment at any of the 279 centres that offer ARVs in Uganda. There should be one near you. Dr Stephen Watiti

Dr Betty Kasanka

"When HIV enters the body it needs an enzyme to start reproducing inside our cells," says Dr Stephen Watiti of Mildmay. "PEP blocks that enzyme." "Sometimes we give you two drugs. But if the chance is very high that the rapist had HIV, we may give you three drugs."

HIV replicates by copying itself using the genetic material in the nucleus of the human cell. PEP prevents this. PEP stops the reproduction of HIV.

Dr Betty Kasanka is a Senior Medical Officer at the Ministry of Health. She says: "If you are raped, PEP treatment is your first priority." PEP is new so health workers are being sensitised on it. If you find a health worker who is not familiar with PEP, Dr Kasanka advises you to persist until you receive treatment. Dr Kasanka confirms: "PEP is free for rape survivors."

HAVE HOPE: You do not have to get infected with HIV if raped. You can take PEP. PEP works best when given within 24 hours of the rape. You can get PEP from Naguru Teenage Centre, Mildmay, Gulu Referral Hospital and the 279 sites that offer ARVs in Uganda.

RADIO COMPETITION! Send Straight Talk your one-page story about rape. It can be a personal story (we will not broadcast your name). Or it can be about rape in your community. Does it happen? Why? To whom? By whom? What happens? What should be done? We will put your stories on our Straight Talk radio shows. Prizes await you.

Masaka students ask about condoms In June, Straight Talk received many condom questions from Kizza Memorial School, Masaka. The questions were real and relevant so we put them to you, the readers. Thank you, guys, we received 102 great letters from you. You all win prizes, including pads for every girl who wrote in. Remember, knowing about condoms does not mean you have to start sex. Get the knowledge and when the right time comes, you will know what to do. Yes, not only do condoms prevent pregnancy, they also stop HIV if used correctly. Use a new condom for each round. G Bwambale, S4, Rwensori HS, Busia Yes, if condoms are used consistently and correctly and instructions followed, they can prevent HIV and pregnancy. Betty D, Metu SS, Moyo Is it true that if you have sex in the first round with a condom and the second round without, you cannot get pregnant? R Yiga No! You can definitely get pregnant! The first ejaculation is the same as the second and the third. If you're not wearing a condom, the girl can get pregnant. Deusdedit Manira-gaba, St Paul's Seminary, Kabale No, it is not true. The sperm never stop coming out or being manufactured. Fertilisation can happen. Nafula EM, S3, Dabani

I hear condoms prevent pregnancy. Do they prevent HIV too? E Kayondo To remove it, the girl should squat, put her finger in her vagina and catch it. St Jude College, Bugiri ST Club When the condom remains in the vagina, the girl needs to sit and adjust the leg one

side and the other leg the other side. Then with two fingers, she removes the condom from the vagina. RJ Rubongoya, Kahungabunyonyi PS, Fort Portal What can be done if a condom remains in the girl's vagina? M Nakiganda When a condom is not used for the second round, a girl can get pregnant. The sperm can still be flowing from the urethra. Use condoms for all rounds. Iyundhu A, Bukoyo SS, Iganga Please note. Some Straight Talkers thought that a condom could move inside the girl and that she would need an operation to get it out. That is false. But what is true is that the girl will have been exposed to HIV and semen spilt from the condom. She can get pregnant and infected.

Straight Talk knows that many girls leave school due to pregnancy. Others die after aborting. Clearly some young people are having sex. If you are sexually active, never have unprotected sex. Test for HIV with your partner. Girls who are sexually active also need family planning like pills or injections.

A Straight Talker demonstrates how to use a condom.

HOW TO USE A CONDOM • Be serious. Focus with your partner to ensure correct use. • Check the expiry date. • Feel if the condom pack is air tight. Have more than one condom. • Have the packet nearby. • Open it from the corner. Avoid biting or pricking it. • Hold the tip of the condom to leave space for semen. • Roll the condom to the bottom of the penis. Now you can have sex. • After sex, withdraw the penis when the penis is still erect. Hold the condom carefully to avoid spilling the semen. • Wrap the used condom in paper and burn it. Or you can throw it into a latrine.

4 Straight Talk, July 2008 control. Look at them as your sisters. Appreciate their beauty but do not go beyond that. You can control your sexual feelings.

Dear

Free school fees I am in S1. I have a man who promised to pay my school fees since I don’t have anyone else. He wants sex. I am very interested in my studies. What can I do? TH, 17, Moroto HS, Moroto TH dear, I appreciate you want to study and have a future. But you cannot put your life at a risk of contracting diseases like AIDS by having sex with your sponsor. Be open and tell him that you appreciate his offer to pay your fees, but you can’t have sex with him.

SYFA 3666 2236 Boxx 22 O. Bo P.P. O. A L A M P KK AA M P A L A

WIN!

My friend’s girlfriend My friend had a girlfriend in my class. Because he was in a

Hello Namasaba. You are talking about the hymen. This is a very thin delicate layer of mucous membrane.

winners We were so impressed by the absolutely kawa (nice) stories by Diana Murerwa (Old Kampala SS) and Joel Otim (Naalya SS) that we rewarded them with their very own copies of the Nigerian novel, Purple Hibiscus! Another 19 of you are also winning personal copies.

QUIZ:

NEXT ENTER AND WIN What are girlfriends and boyfriends for? Tell us the stories of your friendships. What was the purpose of the relationship? Did it make you happy? How did it end? Write to PO Box

22366, Kampala

Sexual feelings When I meet nice looking girls, I think about having sex with them. I do not know what is happening to me. EB, 14, All Saints SS, Ochiba, Arua You cannot have sex with every beautiful girl you see. You need self-

Know your body: girls Is it true that a thin layer covers the vagina? Namasaba J, Busano SS

Purple Hibiscus

different school, the girl communicated with him on my phone. Then he said I had an affair with his girlfriend. Ashiraf, 19, Koboko Modern SS, Koboko If there is nothing going on between you and that girl, then let your friend understand that clearly. Explain to him that it was a misunderstanding and you wouldn’t want to break up their relationship. Discourage them from using your phone.

Usually it does not cover the opening to the vagina completely. It has a hole or holes in it to allow menstrual blood to come out. In about one (1) out of every 2000 baby girls, the hymen covers the entire entrance to the vagina. If this hymen does not disappear or develop an opening by the time the girl reaches puberty, she will need to see a doctor. But this is very, very rare. The scientific ”job” of the hymen is unknown. By the time a girl reaches puberty, the hymen is already very thin. It gets stretched by sports and work. It may also simply reduce or disappear on its own. Traditionally some people say that a virgin will bleed on first intercourse

because the hymen gets broken by the penis. However, the hymen, if it is there, is very elastic, and most girls do not bleed when they have sex for the first time. According to the book, Clinical Protocols in Adolescent Gynaecology, it is not possible for a doctor to determine by examing the hymen if a girl who has reached puberty is a virgin. According to Paediatrics (J Carole, 1987), the condition of the hymen is not a reliable indicator of whether a female past puberty has actually engaged in sex. “The hymen can vary in size and be very hard to find, even in a person who has not had sex.” So, NJ, do not overthink about the hymen. What is important is your behaviour. Stay a virgin if you have not had sex. We hope we have answered your question.

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Menstruation I am 20 years old, but have never menstruated. Viola, Kitswamba SDA SS, Kasese Dear Viola, Visit a health centre for a check-up. Menstruation normally starts between the ages of 11-16.

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Do not go to discos My father advised me not to go to discos, but my friends force me. When I refuse, they say my

life is going to end and I am stupid. Poni E, 15 Lira SS Dear Poni, What about you? What do you want? Do you believe your life is going to end? You should know that your parents are your best friends. They want the best for you and know that discos are not good for you. You could be beaten or raped. Don’t succumb (give in) to peer pressure.

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Vaginal discharge I am worried. How can I stop passing white things from my vagina? WB, Benedict HS, Tororo WB, white vaginal discharge which does not smell and is not sticky is normal and natural. It cleans your vagina. But if it is yellowish or greenish or has an unpleasant smell, it could be an infection. You then need to visit a health centre.

“It’s cool to delay sex.” Bugokho ST Club, Mbale ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Awful smell I normally smell in my private parts. Am I normal? TC, 17, St Andrews SS, Rubanda, Kabale NO, it is not normal for private parts to smell. You could have an infection. Bathe twice a day and keep your pubic hair short. Use normal bathing or bar soap. If the smell continues, visit a health centre.

Forced marriage My parents died. I live with my aunt who tells me to leave school and get married. What can I do? AL, S1, Kitgum Comprehensive Talk to your aunt about the importance of education. Explain that what you need now is a sound education and not marriage. If you fail to convince her, talk to a teacher who can explain to her on your behalf. If all this fails, involve the police family protection unit. Forced marriage is against the law. Stella Ampire, Counsellor, Hope After Rape

Stabr u cl

Straight Talk’s star club this month is Dabani Girls, Busia. The club patron, Mr Joel Kaka Yatse, wins a mobile phone. Read about the club in ST August.

World Population Day Uganda’s population increases by one million people each year! This is worrying. Land and water supplies are under pressure. Family planning is not only for older people. Us young people use FP when we delay sex, stop sex or use condoms correctly and consistently. We girls can also use pills or injections. Boys, can you be a good father when you are still studying? No. For more on FP, visit the AIC, FPAU, Marie Stopes, Naguru, Gulu or Kitgum youth centres or any health centre or private midwife. By Irene Kituyi, STF radio journalist

STRAIGHT TALK FOUNDATION Plot 4 Acacia Avenue, Kololo, P. O. Box 22366, Tel: 0312-262030/1, 0414-530088 Kampala (U), Fax: 0414-534858, E-mail: [email protected], [email protected], Web: www.straight-talk.or.ug Executive Director: C. Watson, Communications Director: T. Agutu, Editorial Manager: E. Kimuli, Editors: G. Awekofua, M. Akello, D. Agaba, J. Abongowath, Writer: J. Pulik Designers: G.B Mukasa, M.eB Kalanzi, Funded by DANIDA, DFID, SIDA, Printer: The New Vision