Straight Talk, July 2007

www.straight-talk.or.ug

Inspiration Corner

They said I did not know how to

"kill life" Joseph Okwii of Amuria HS manages his sexual feelings by involving himself in church activities like playing the guitar.

2007 o. 7 July Vol. 14 N

Sexual partners y It's a big risk when you have man

The winner's story We chose Jackline Ajego as our winner to last month's big question: "How many partners do you plan to have in your life?" She is in S4 at Gulu Army SS. She wins a term's school fees.

Rock Point 256 is a cool radio drama on a radio station near you.

This boy Steve is a character who has many sexual partners. There is a lot of chaos in his life. And he causes chaos to many girls. At present he has impregnated one.

"I am 16 and a virgin. I plan to have sex with only one person. But now is not the right time. Reading Straight Talk has helped me cope with the pressures of teenage life. Many times my friends laughed at me that I do not know how to "kill life", asking why I am still a virgin. They told me I would become barren. So I went to Gulu Youth Centre. A counsellor told me that those were lies. She told me the advantages of being a virgin. I thank God that I got advice which gave me confidence. I told my friends that virginity has no side effects. Some listened and now they are all candidates. Some who didn't listen failed to make it to S4. When I was elected head girl, I got a chance to pass on the information to more students." Ajego Jackline, S4, Gulu Army SS, When Jackline learned she had won, she said: "I am excited! I sometimes have to stay at home for a week as I wait for my mother to get money for my school fees from her small business. I live with my cousin, a soldier. I have 10 siblings. I read hard and want to be a doctor." SECOND WINNER on Page 2.

Listen to find out what happens next! LAST month Straight Talk asked readers to write about how many sexual partners you want to have in your life. We chose this BIG QUESTION because multiple partners are THE BIG REASON why Uganda still has a lot of HIV. Thanks for your letters. Some of you had not had sex yet. Others had already had several partners. Interestingly, a lot of you said you were FORCED to have these sexual partners -- forced by peers, culture, sex myths or poverty. But unless you are raped, no one can force you to have sex. Can you

ACCEPT that this sex was something that you allowed to happen to you? Once you have accepted that, then you can take CONTROL of your life. Straight Talkers, make sure that you are the BOSS of what happens to you in future. Boys, did you know that having many partners does NOT make you more of a MAN? Girls, if a guy who has had a lot of other girlfriends wants to be your boyfriend, are you FLATTERED because he is popular? Do you feel SWEET because he has chosen you? Be very careful, baby. Such boys are not good news.

livers Straight Talk dee of on its promis school fees

li, gives school itor, Edith Kimu e Straight Talk ed ize winner Lucy Adikini, to th ge. fees for April prcy's school, Tororo Town Colle Lu headmaster of TO STF AND BE A WINNER! WRITE ........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Straight Talk, July 2007

Multiple partnerships: a behaviour change challenge for males

............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Many partners give stress

Straight Talk, July 2007

Traditional circumcision in Mbale: Straight Talkers, if you have unprotected sex soon after circumcision and before your penis has healed, you are at EXTRA risk of HIV.

Tororo Girls School KA, you cannot become a virgin again but that's OK. You are practising secondary abstinence. The key thing is not the past but NOW and the future. How are you managing sexual feelings? What are you going to do

Peers can influence you to have sex but they cannot "force" you. Be your own BOSS!

Females 1.7 1.9 2.2 2.4 2.7

Males 2.8 4.6 5.5 7.5 10.6

When I was in 'O' Level I had friends who had girlfriends. I did not have one. They mocked me until I was forced to have one to prove to them that I can manage. I had sex with her for the first time but I did not enjoy it as I had expected. I thought the girl did not

I had four partners during my S1 and S2. I was in a wrong group where we competed for ladies. In S2 one of my friends fell sick. He tested HIV positive. His parents reported to my parents. They also took me for an HIV test. I was negative. That marked the end of the game. I promised not to have any partner till I complete my studies and make a faithful marriage. Chance knocks once. KD, Gulu Central HS

Four partners

if you get very strong feelings for a guy? Would you be able to talk with him about sex and staying safe? Work on that.

Sero-survey 2004-5

Age 15-19 20-24 25-29 30-39 40-49

Number of sexual partners

At all ages sexually-active males have had 2-4 times as many partners as sexually-active females. Once married, men tend to keep having new partners until they have had over ten partners by their 40s. In contrast, females get very few new partners after the age of 25.

I had sex when I was young during mummy-daddy games. I greatly regret it. Straight Talkers, stick to your decision even when friends are boasting over having had sex with several partners. Bwambale Barnabas, Bright Academy SS, Kasese

Mummy-daddy

I had sex with two partners when I was young. It was due to bad peer influence and lack of money. My partners used to provide for me. It was a big mistake. I later tested for HIV and was negative. I will never have sex again until I marry a trustworthy partner. I have to avoid HIV. Tumusiime D, Kagadi Academy, Kibale

I lacked money

know how to do it. This forced me to get another girl with whom I had unprotected sex. I enjoyed it but immediately after the act I got worried about HIV. From that moment I hated girls until I tested negative for HIV. Kiyamali Richard, Pearl Haven

Girls, please be aware. If you are 18 and your boyfriend is 26, there is a good chance that he has already had five or more partners. He may have HIV/STDs and several babies already.

I started knowing that I can do something good after I came to Kampala. I was studying at Kabuga PS in Kabale. My mum brought me for athletics at Mandela Stadium. From there I won and was selected to

Now I am at Makindye Hill Parents PS. There they do not insult me. There are other children with disability. I tell children not to abuse their friends with disability. I try to respect everybody."

You too can do something good!

represent Uganda in Ireland. This gave me a lot of confidence. In Kabale, some children were calling me bad names. Some would say I am abnormal -- ‘oine endari’ -- that I have a squint.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

This is a photo of my family. Publish it to show my friends, the Straight Talk readers, why I am still a virgin. I am abstaining so I can help my brothers and sisters after my studies. Isaabo Charles, 17, Chair ST club, Molly and Paul HS, Kampala. Thanks, Charles. Nice family!

"My great day was when I got a Gold in the relay race at the World Summer Special Olympics in Ireland. I even met the president of Ireland.

Enid Atuhairwe is a slow learner but gifted in sports.

I got gold in special olympics

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

I have had sex with more than one partner. I was young and, by having sex, I thought I was doing a good thing. But when I grew up, I found out that I had lost my virginity. I felt so bad that I had to abstain completely. I hope to gain secondary virginity. I want to abstain till marriage and have one partner till death. KA,

More than one

I plan to have sex with one partner after my wedding day. I was taught the dangers of early sex since I was young. It would be shameful for me to lose my virginity now and I would be at a risk of getting HIV/STIs. C Najjuuko, Lubiri SS, Kampala

I plan to have sex with only one person in my life and that will be my wife. I will have completed my studies, have a job and be able to sustain a family. Abstinence is the cheapest method to avoid STI infection. Kigongo F, Old Kampala SS

The goal

.....................................................................................................................................................................

"Sometimes it is myths that lead to someone into sex. You have to be strong and say No. I have had two partners. In Bugisu culture, you are supposed to have sex immediately after the circumcision wound heals. If you do not, your body will be pale and miserable. You are not even supposed to go back to that girl. They say if you do, your situation worsens. That is how I lost my virginity. On myths! The second partner was due to peer influence. She forced me to prove my manhood. It was unpleasant. A friend advised me to drop her and go for HIV testing. I am negative. I decided to abstain until I finish my studies and marry." Masiga John, S6, Menlik SS, Kampala . Thanks, Masiga, for your good letter! You win a term's school fees.

Myths and culture

Thoughtful Dr Nakku

For those who insist on having many partners, condom use is important and any STIs should be treated as soon as possible. It is advisable to reduce on the number of partners. Polygamists are very stressed."

If you have a partner, test together for HIV. If your partner refuses, then you have to know something is wrong.

It also brings conflict. Some people end up fighting their rivals. All these affect you.

Whether it is poverty, culture or peer pressure pushing you towards having many partners, be assertive and resist.

That was smart, Stella! Assertiveness helps you to avoid multiple sexual partners and sex with people, like this older man, who have had sex with many other people.

I knew I could be landing myself into fire. Time would have come when he would mistreat me because he stole me from my home. He could have even abused me that you I just picked you. So I said "No". I was assertive."

never told my grandmother. I made the decision not to go on my own. He was even older than me.

What is government doing ? To prevent these difficult deliveries which cause fistula, we encourage pregnant women to attend antenatal care, deliver in health units under skilled care and attend postnatal care (check-up and care given to females after giving birth). Couples should use family planning to space births.

Is obstetric fistula a serious problem in Uganda? About 60% of our hospitals receive females with fistula. This means that there are many women suffering in our communities that may not be reported. They may not even be aware that fistula can be prevented and treated. So we need a lot of education about it.

It is an injury caused during complicated child bearing. It occurs when a girl or woman fails to deliver normally. Her internal organs get injured. Obstetric fistula may cause a hole or holes to develop between the: •Vagina and rectum •Vagina and urethra •Vagina and bladder •Vagina, bladder and rectum This causes urine or the faeces or both to leak uncontrollably through the vagina.

What is obstetric fistula?

Straight Talk asked Dr Jacinto Amandua, Commissioner Clinical Services in Ministry of Health about this very serious complication of childbirth.

All alone: the girl on the left is16. She developed hole between her bladder and vagina after a labour that lasted two days. She underwent a difficult operation. Her advice: avoid early pregnancy! We have blurred her face because she does not feel ok about what happened to her.

Do you know anyone who had a baby and got a constant leaking of urine or faeces from her private parts? How are they managing? Write to Straight Talk, PO Box 22366, Kampala and win a T-shirt.

Quiz

What are the social problems of fistula? Many people do not know that it can be prevented or treated. We need to increase knowledge on fistula so that husbands support their partners in seeking antenatal services regularly and delivering in health facilities. Even after the operation, people who have undergone fistula operation need full support from their partners.

Does our government have enough capacity? We are working with visiting surgeons and doctors. They have helped training our doctors and we already have some of our young doctors taking on the surgery. Some Ugandan doctors who are good at fistula repair. It is a difficult and delicate operation.

Some of our hospitals can repair the holes, like Mulago and Kitovu hospitals. Others are Arua, Lacor, Soroti, Kagadi, Kamuli, Lira, Fort Portal, Mbarara and Kabale.

Prevent obstetric

From Uganda HIV/AIDS Sero-behavioural Survey, 2004-5

In Busoga and Buganda, over 38% of men had extra sexual partners in the past year. Where multiple partnerships are high, HIV is also high. Where it is lower like in Karamoja and West Nile, HIV is also lower. Check your region and think about your own behaviour.

3

.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

No, it is not a snake! It is a sperm cell, magnified many times. Everytime a boy ejaculates, he produces about 500 million of these. That is why it is so easy to make a girl pregnant! Semen can also contain HIV. The load of virus in the semen is highest just after you have been infected so you easily infect others. That is why the culture of men having several partners at a go (concurrent partners) has made the HIV epidemic worse in Africa than in other parts of the world.

Know your body

Assertiveness is not being rude or aggressive. It is being firm and clear. Practise saying what you want or do not want.

No. I prefer to stay with my grandmother.

One day a man came to my home, saying he wanted to marry me and take me to Kampala. I decided "No". He can't just steal me from home in secrecy. He had to ask permission from my grandmother. But in the end I

Stella Masawi of Tukwatirewamu Namusi Straight Talk Club in Bunambuli, Mbale, says: "I can say that I am assertive. I make my own decisions and what ever decision I make is a plan for my future.

Are you assertive? Assertiveness is the skill to know and communicate what you want or do not want. It means standing your ground and not being persuaded to do something that you do not want to do.

Lifeskill: assertiveness

Having many partners is very confusing and tough. It disturbs your peace of mind. The thoughts can affect your concentration on education.

"Having multiple partners is one of the biggest drivers of HIV. The more you have, the higher the chances of infection, even with other STIs.

Dr Edith Nakku knows a lot about what gets people into problems. She works at the STD clinic, Mulago Hospital: She says

Clever young people, study the map on the left. The numbers show the % of sexually-active men who have had two or more sexual partners in the past year.

The more partners you have, the greater your risk of HIV Winner 2:

2

.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

4 Straight Talk, July

2007

Dear

SYFA 3666 2236 Boxx 22 O. Bo P.P. O. A LL AA P M A K A K A M P

Fear for HIV I am in S2. I am thin and small. My friends fear staying near me. They think I am HIV positive. I also fear testing for HIV because I am thin. What can I do to regain my full happiness? MO, Amolatar SS Sorry, MO, for what you are going through! But you have to know that being thin does not mean you have HIV/AIDS. A person can be fat and look healthy, but he or she can have HIV. Taking a HIV test is the only way you can know whether you have HIV or not. Share your worries with a trusted friend or teacher who may advise your friends to stop stigmatising you.

Short penis My friend has a boyfriend with a short penis. Friends keep telling her that boys with short penises should not use condoms because that it will remain in the girl’s vagina. Is this true? Lomaro F, 14, S2, Mpoma SS, Mukono No, it is not true. Condoms are made in standard size.. They can fit any size of penis of an adult. Having a short penis is normal. It is like some people are tall while others are short, and yet they are all are human beings. But why are you all discussing this boy’s penis? Is your

friend 14 years like you? While it is good to be informed about condoms, are you and your friend having sex? 14 is very young to start sex. Sweetheart, slow down.

Condom use Is it true that when a boy has sex with a girl using a condom for the first round and the second one he does not use a condom, she cannot get pregnant? Oboyo G, 18, S4, Tororo No, it is NOT TRUE! So long as you have an unprotected sex with a girl, you are at risk of making her pregnant. In addition, you are at risk of STI infections, including HIV.

Abnormalities I am told by my cousin in S6 that if I fail to have sex before I am 15, my first child will have abnormalities. What advice do you have for me? Vangero J, S4, Nyangilita SS, Koboko That is not true. You can have a normal child no matter what age you start sex. When you are an adult and have an income to sustain a family. A person can remain a virgin up to 30 and can still produce normal children thereafter. Do not allow yourself to be pressured into sex. Early sex will also expose you to unwanted pregnancies and STIs such as HIV. We wonder why your cousin is telling you such things. Is the cousin a boy who wants to have sex with you? Take care!

Its NOT TRUE that sperms are proteins. And they are not responsible for enlargement of hips or buttocks. Such are myths which can lead someone into sex. Do not believe in such stories your friends may tell you.

Fertilisation

Masturbation Is it true that masturbation and continual sexual intercourse reduce a student’s performance in class? Deo, S5, Dr Obote College, Lira Yes, Deo, it can reduce your academic performance. Anything that distracts your attention can affect your performance. Sexual feelings are some of the challenges human beings face. But when they are mismanaged, like by allowing them to occupy your mind all the time, you are likely to lose focus of what you are doing. Also remember the dangers of early sex. Problems like HIV/STIs and unwanted pregnancy can end up destroying your dreams. Making a girl pregnant can lead you to prison. This means you are out of school!

Orphans

Nabukeera Agnes, S1, Homeland College, Kyotera. I love reading Straight Talk. It is educative

Members of Namutumba Central High Straight Talk club, Namutumba district say frienship between boys and girls should help them develop respect for one another

We are members of a Straight Talk club. Our parents failed to pay fees for us. Now a family friend paying for us is demanding for sex. He says he will stop paying our fees if we do not give in and yet he is HIV positive. Please advise. Girl, St Benedict HS, Tororo Sorry, Girl! It is bad that a man your family trusts is demanding for sex in exchange for fees he committed himself to pay. Say NO to his demand! Tell your parents or guardians. They could help you. You could start an income generating activity together with your parents, which can help you raise school fees. Thanks for having trust in Straight Talk and being a member of the Club! You can write to us again,

Onenisun Felix, Masindi High School. I am staying safe. telling us the solution you have got.We will be very grateful to know that you are safe.

Saliva and HIV Is it true that vaginal fluids contain HIV? What about saliva? Olila Eze, Nakasongola Army SS Yes, all body fluids of an HIV positive person contain HIV. But it is the blood, vaginal fluids/semen and breast milk which have a high load of the virus, enough to cause a transmission. Saliva has very little.

Is it true that it is only one sperm that fertilises the egg? If it is true, then where do the rest go? Nambozo M, St John’s College Magale, Manafa. It is true, but NOT always. Some of the main types of fertilizations are; i) One sperm fertilizes an ova. This is true of your question. ii) Two sperms fertilize an ova at the same time. This is a situation which brings about identical twins. Once the sperms enter, the zygote splits into two. iii) Two sperms enter two different ovum at the same. This also brings about twins but they look different. At the moment fertilization has taken place, all other sperms become useless and come out of the body through a self-cleaning process of the body system.

Sperm and proteins Is it true sperms are proteins? If so, is it true they are the ones that make buttocks fat?

Consellor: Jerolam Omach Coordinator Primary Teachers’ Dialogues

International Y outh Day Youth is on A ugust 1 2 August 12

“Be seen, be heard, youth participation for development” This is the theme for this year. The day will be celebrated in Mbale . Does the theme apply to you? If not, think of how you can make yourself relevant to the theme.

Publisher:

STRAIGHT TALK FOUNDATION

Plot 4 Acacia Avenue, Kololo. P. O. Box 22366, Tel: 0312-262030, 031-262031, 041-530088 Kampala (U), Fax: 041-534858, E-mails: [email protected], [email protected], Web: www.straight-talk.or.ug, Director: C. Watson, Deputy Director: T. Agutu, Editorial Manager: B. Kagoro. Editors: E. Kimuli, G. Awekofua, Chief Designer: M.B. Kalanzi, Designer: G.B. Mukasa, Funded by DANIDA, DFID, SIDA Printer: The New Vision

.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................