Straight Talk, July 2009

Straight Talk radio show in Madi hits

HIV basics: Some children born with HIV are now adolescents. Partly, this is due to improved HIV treatment. But it is also now known that some children with HIV will show no signs until they are adolescents. Ideally, children born with HIV should be given ARVs in WKHÀUVW\HDURIOLIHTest for HIV if your parents seem to be infected. Early treatment is best. Encourage your parents and relatives to also test for HIV, especially during pregnancy, and to deliver at a health centre.

airwaves

o.7 July Vol.15 N

2009

Hosted by

to touch ou are growing up. You are attracted to the opposite sex and even get sexual feelings. You want to tell that chick or dude how you feel and what you want. This explains the sex advances you get. Edith Mukisa, a professional counselor, says sexual advances can be hidden or straight forward. For example, someone may give you gifts or make unpleasant signs, comments, jokes or bad touches. When done in a non-offensive way, sexual advances may make you feel sweet, flattered, handsome or beautiful. Enjoy the moment, but be careful.

DO BOYS FALL VICTIMS TO SEXUAL ADVANCES? It is more common for girls to get advances from males. But boys also get sexual advances from girls.

She then asked me to have sex, but I refused. She started calling me “sexually inactive.” One day she escorted me to fetch water. She squeezed my penis arousing my sexual feelings. Finally I had sex with her. But I regret this because I was not ready." Wakabi Eric, S5, 19, Kisiki College Namutamba Douglas and Eric's stories are among the 57 responses to the February Straight Talk quiz: "Tell us your experience with sexual advances and your reactions". Thank you.

You all WIN ST CAPS

Chaciga Robert on

TransNile FM I am 21 years old. I was born in Yei, Southern Sudan. I am in a relationship. My partner is at school. We are waiting to have sex after marriage. Respect each other if you are in a relationship. If you cannot abstain from sex, use a condom properly and always.

Boys, before you make a move, think again. Sometimes a dog must run away from a bone. Just because she asked for it doesn't make you immune to HIV/STDs, making her pregnant or being imprisoned for defilement.

Shocked? Read Douglas and Eric's stories.

SHE PUT HER BREASTS ON ME "One time I was reading my books in a bush. A girl looking after cattle passed by and pretended to read my notes. Then she pressed her breasts on my shoulder. I felt excited. My sexual feelings were aroused. I got myself doing it. I regretted the act. I will never do it again till I complete my studies." Douglas O, Amolatar SS

TOUCHED MY PENIS: "A girl aroused my sexual feelings after touching my penis several times.

When Nanyonga Grace to lost her parents, she had rs look after her three brothe "I and sisters. Tough times! but th accepted my parents' dea life had to continue." work "I sent my two brothers to stones in a stone quarry (where n). I for building are broken dow star t to used the money they got sting. a business in chicken roa le studying at I did this for three years whi ka." Lady Consolata SS in Kire for Kalangala, When Ruth Kavuma, MP the papers, read Nanyonga's story in

Star school

KATERERA COMPREHENSIVE HIGH SCHOOL, BUSHENYI. They have written many interesting letters. You win a football and netball. Wherever you are, keep writing to Straight Talk, PO Box 22366 K'la

she offered to sponsor her. After completing her 'A' h level, she went back to Rut who taught her to smoke I ÀVK6KHJDYHKHUFDSLWDOR er 150,000/=. Grace has nev looked back since then. She paid her own fees at r university and looked afte ers. her two brothers and sist Grace was recognized by President Yoweri Museveni 2009 for hard work. She won the by The rd Women Achiever’s awa New Vision. give you Grace says: "God cannot not carry." a cross which you can

New Quiz Tell us stories of the people in your community who you admire for making it in life despite hard times. Send true stories and WIN A BOOK: Introduction to Biology for O-level or A long way Gone by Ishmael Beah.

2 Straight Talk, July 2009

When

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she makes theÀUVWPRYH

y Doreen Kikanu, S6 vacist There are girls who are shy, but their actions speak louder than words. So how do they do it?

Miss Beautiful takes time to look gorgeous for Mr Handsome. She wears makeup. And like a bomb, she will appear at his place in a blouse that leaves her 'boobs' crying out loud, a tight short skirt that leaves most of her legs out. She constantly stares at this guy with her lips begging and pleading. This leaves the boy breathing heavily. The bold girl tells him, "I am 'horny,' let's get down." The guy can either play along or reject.

Letters

"She sat next to me and put her arm on my thigh. I felt her smooth fingers. My penis erected. She said that we go to bush for sex. I came to my senses, then told her I was not ready." Okwang Ambrose, Dokolo Progressive SS

"There is a girl who sent me a letter asking to meet her under a certain mango tree. My friends escorted me to meet her. She gave my friends money to buy pork. When they left, she asked for sex. I refused. She got annoyed and said I was not the right person for her. Odongo Denis, 18, Dokolo Progressive SS

Yusuf Pande, our listener from Kaliro, says: "I was reading my books at school under a tree. A girl came, sat next to me and threw her thigh on mine. I told her to stop it. She asked me if I did not know what to do. I was scared to hear about sex yet we are still in school. My father toils to get my school fees. I insisted on waiting. She told me I was very stupid. Later my friend told me that she had been in sexual relationships with many men."

Dudes, you know what is good for you. Real Men wait.

YOU ALL WIN ST CAPS In such times, it is rare that you are armed with protection like a condom. And it is also unlikely that you know each other's HIV status. Best choice is to walk away. Don't live a life of

From drama to dilemma

In the stories below, boys chose not to play a long. Bravo! Muwesi Andrew, aged 19, a Straight Talk listener from Bupadhengo in Kamuli, says his girlfriend once asked for sex. He went to visit and found her in the bedroom. "I sat on her bed. She closed the door and demanded for sex. I trembled (shook in fear). I could not expect a girl to do that. I said NO! She forced me down on the bed. I refused. I lied that we would have sex the following day. I ended our relationship. Later she did an HIV test and the results were positive. I am HIV negative. If I had given in I could have got HIV. "

Thigh power

Justine Nakalema, S3, Luweero SS says she is abstaining to keep safe. Movies Watching movies at night with two girls put Moses Ogema, S4, Dokolo Progressive SS in a difficult situation. "I sat between two girls who were just my friends in the entertainment room at school. One girl told me to do as the people in the sex scene. She squeezed my hand on her breast. I felt sexy. So I left the room and went to bed alone.

"There is a girl I acted with a role of mother and father. Afterwards she said I had acted well. She wanted to know if I could also play sex well. She started unzipping my trousers. Suddenly I said NO. She apologized and left." Mubezi Dan, St John College, Magale, Manafwa

have feelings and want to express them. But you should not sexually harass the boys by throwing yourself all over them.

The diary of a young positive Jane, 19, is living with HIV. Here she shares the story of her life. Good news! My CD4 count has risen from 300 last March to 520 now. It dropped when I fell sick with pneumonia. I am less stressed now. I believe this is helping. Charlie is now steady. I am the only flower (girl) in his life. He used to have other girls and lie that they were just friends. I knew they were more than friends from their text messages to him. I once laid a trap and told my friend to send me a love message. I knew Charlie would read it. He got so upset when he read it. More good news. I have finished my final exams in the counseling course. But I hope this HIV/AIDS bill doesn’t stress me. I find it unfair. It says:

willful or intentional transmission will lead to life imprisonment. So, for instance, if a mother has HIV and doesn’t get Prevention of Mother To Child Transmission (PMTCT), and her baby gets infected, she could be imprisoned. Another example: if a father has HIV and infects his wife, he could also be imprisoned for life! The penalty should not be life imprisonment. That mother may not be able to get PMTCT. And that father may be overwhelmed by fear of stigma. The law also says: The person who is HIV positive will disclose to their sexual partner. Well that sounds easy but disclosure is hard. The government has not empowered people with HIV with disclosure skills. Of course, I agree that the government has an obligation to

control HIV/AIDS. But Straight Talkers, what do you think about my concerns about the HIV/AIDS Bill? Should people be imprisoned for transmitting HIV? Questions to Jane from Gulu Central HS

1. What role does your support group play for HIV positives? Samuel

The support group brings all of us young positives together to interact, share our experiences, learn and have fun. It is because of the peer support group that I have been able to come out and share my experiences with you. 2. Is your boyfriend Charlie HIV positive? Aromorac Proscovia

Yes, he is HIV positive. We love and understand each other. We are there for each other in trying times like sickness. Do you have any questions, comments for Jane? Write to 22366, Kampala

Ritah Nassali 14, Nalinya Lwantale Girls SSS, Luweero

Virginity thing: is the in me organised.

Abstinence makes their virginity. My friends have broken not concentrate can They are disturbed and e. I am respected. valu in class. Virginity has by her boyfriend after d My friend was rejecte KHVHOOVÀUHZRRGWR LPSUHJQDQWLQJKHU6 because the get money. She suffers assistance. any boy does not give her

Chelangat Victoria, St Micheal SS

Straight Talk, July 2009

Advances can turn into

T

forced sex

he reality is that girls face sexual advances that often stretch into rape. Studies show that 23% of girls say that they were "not at all willing" when they had their first sexual intercourse. Your letters say that rape by fathers, uncles, brothers, cousins and houseboys/girls and relatives is common. This is terrible!

"I was defiled by my uncle at seven years. He forced me into his bedroom. I felt so much pain and blood started coming from my vagina. I cried but nobody came to help me. He warned me not to tell anyone and threatened to kill me if I did. When I told my friends they advised me to tell my parents. My parents reported him to police. He is in prison." Girl, 19, Katerera Comprehensive HS Girls, be strong and report rape or defilement cases immediately to an adult. Before reporting to police, first go to the health centre and ask for PEP.

nucleus of the CD4 cells. Once inside the nucleus, the virus starts multiplying. PEP works by blocking the enzymes that transport the HIV into the CD4 cell. When this occurs, the virus dies. For PEP to work, it must be given within 72 hours of being exposed to HIV: 72 hours is the latest. By Dr Sabrina Bakeera, Department of Paediatrics, Makerere Medical School

Date rape

PEP is Post Exposure Prophylaxis. It prevents HIV from multiplying in the body. When HIV enters the body, it attaches itself on CD4 cells. CD4 cells are the commanders of the army of white blood cells that defend the body from infections. The HIV virus uses enzymes to enter into the

Sometimes rape happens during an outing with a boyfriend. Edith Mukisa gives you dating tips: Find out where you are going. Inform your parents or a responsible adult. If only two of you are going to be in isolated places, do not accept. This may lead to sexual abuse. Go to places where you will not be alone with him. There is safety in numbers. Go with a friend if you are not sure of the intentions of the outing. Boys, be gentlemen. Treat girls like ladies. Let her have sweet memories of your date. Respect her.

If someone attempts to rape you, scream. Screaming has helped some girls from being raped.

Sex for fees

COLOUR PURPLE

WINNERS OF A NOVEL Thank you for the beautiful letters on sexual advances. The best letters win the novel, The Color Purple. WINNERS: zNatamba Elizabeth and Denis Mugabe, Katerera Comprehensive HS zWakabi Eric, Kisiki College z Okwang Ambrose, S3, Dokolo Progressive SS z Mubezi Dan, St John’s Magale z Mutesi Mariam, Dabani SS

Elder's e advnoic t conducive

Be focused. Set priorities to avoid problems

Find safe means of getting money for your educaton.

When someone does something you do not want, like forcing you to have sex, say a strong and clear NO! Say “I can’t have sex. I can get pregnant and drop out of school. Don’t touch my breasts or penis. It displeases me." Assertiveness means not being ashamed or apologizing when you need the right thing. It means standing up for your values, beliefs,

from Warr Girls, Arua, say that being friends has kept them safe from risks such as rape.

Science Corner What are hormones?

Schools are ationship. for a serious love rel at Gulu er tur lec , eku En l Pau careful University, says: "Be to love ng itti mm co e befor why ow Kn es. ag rri or ma l." oo sch at are u yo

Boys and girls, be careful. Some gifts, money and job offers come with hidden motives. "There is a widow who gives me schoolfees, scholastic materials and pocket money. One day, she called me into her bedroom and asked for sex. I was shocked. I told her I was not ready." MD, 15, S2 Katerera Comprehensive HS, Bushenyi

Muber Charity and Pamu Mary, S4 students

statements. If necessary, repeat them. Keep eye contact. Do not be rude to the offender. Set limits. Say: “I can’t come to your house when you are alone." Use your body language. If an elder is harrassing you sexually, tell them politely that they must observe your rights as a boy or girl. You will be respected for being serious and not ‘easy. By Falal Rubanga Faith, Straight Talk Foundation

Hormones are natural chemical messengers produced by our bodies. They tell our bodies how to grow and when to start puberty. Growth hormones lead to growth of bones. Sex hormones cause the deepening of the voice, the growth of testes and muscles, and sperm production in boys. In girls, they cause the growth of ovaries and breasts and menstruation.

My trousers don't fit well, I Wonder whether these are hormones at work!

In both sexes, hormones control hair growth (beard, armpits and pubic).

Hormones have a powerful effect on how we feel. They are largely responsible for sexual attraction between males and females. Teenagers may experience wildly changing moods due to hormones. Hang in there! Dr Paul Semugoma

Slang DICTIONARY

age commonly Slang is a langu g people. spoken by youn Dude - a guy Chic - a girl te Boobs - breasts said to congratula Bravo - a word

3

4 Straight Talk, July 2009

Inspiration: Success doesn’t come to you. You go for it.

Dear

STF 223 66 O. Box x 223A66 P.P.O. Bo L M P A K AM P A L A K A

Students of ST. Balukuddembe S. S Mitala Maria Mpigi Avoid bad peer groups. Concetrate on academics

ARVs and sex Is it true that when you take ARVs immediately after sex with a girl who has HIV one cannot contract the virus? Bila H, St. Stephen SS, Katakwi Stephen, doctors do not recommend that you protect yourself from HIV in this way. It is an abuse of ARVs that is dangerous for you and others. However, yes, ARVs can be used for PEP, which is given when one comes in contact with fluids that might have HIV. For example, if one has unprotected sex or is pricked by a needle which contains HIV positive blood. PEP is not 100% and only works if you start the ARVs within 72 hours: 72 hours is the maximum. Do not play around with PEP. It is for emergencies like accidents and rape.

Money temptation A boda boda gives me money. My friends reported me to the headmaster who punished me. The man still gives me money. What can I do? Apayi E, 14, Okufra SS Dear Emily, your friends wanted to warn you, and your headmaster beat you for a reason. The man wants to befriend you and have sex in exchange for his money. If you accept his money, you will fear saying no to sex, even when you don’t want it. Don’t accept his money. Gifts just corrupt you to have sex.

Sperm lifespan How long does the sperm stay alive in the vagina before fertilizing the egg after

ejaculation? Juma W, Kiribari SS, Iganga. Dear Juma, immediately after ejaculation, sperms swim from the vagina, to the uterus and tubes of the woman. Sperms can fertilize an egg up to 3-4 days after ejaculation. When an egg is released within four days, pregnancy may occur.

In love with a partner who has HIV I love my partner and I do not want to leave her. We carried out an HIV test and her results were HIV positive. What can I do? Boy, Kitende College Bwera, Kasese. From the medical view, you can marry a partner with HIV when you are HIV negative. But you have to ensure that you do not get infected because HIV/AIDS is an extremely serious condition, and you will be the main caretaker of your partner and the children. Talk to doctors and HIV counsellors. They will advise you and your partner to use condoms. They will also advise you on how to get a pregnancy without infecting yourself or the baby. However, do not rush into marriage. Marriage is a serious matter, whatever your HIV status. You are still a student. Counselor: Dr. Paul Semugoma

Science test

There is a lot of wrong information about growing up, HIV/ STDs. Test how much you know. Draw diagrams if necessary. Send your completed

QUIZ to PO Box 22366, Kampala. • How many sperm cells are contained in a single ejaculation? • Tell us what you know about PEP • Explain how you would use a condom? • Explain why teenagers sweat a lot and develop pimples during puberty? • Describe signs of an STD?

Fight climate change: Straight Talk Club of St Balikuddembe Mitala Maria in Mpigi taking care of seedlings in their nursery bed.

PLEASE ADVISE JOSEPH I was orphaned at the age 10. My parents died of HIV. They left a big house in my name at Bushenyi town. My uncle wants to take the house. He says I am HIV positive, although he has not taken me for HIV testing. My parents left a big farm of crops. I use the money from the crops for school fees. Joseph, 18, S2, Katerera Comprehensive School, Bushenyi

ADVICE to Diana’s pal When my friend’s mother is away, her father brings another woman in the house. The father pays my friend not to tell her mother. The father has promised her hell on earth if she ever tells her mother. Diana, 14, S2, Tororo Girls Diana’s friend should tell her mother. If the father is infected with HIV and other STDs, he will pass them to the mother and both parents may die. Let her give the money that the father donates to her to her mother. The mother should lay an ambush. She should pretend to go on a long trip and return unexpectedly. She will catch them. Nakanuagi M, Gayaza HS, Wakiso Diana’s friend should convince the mother to go for an HIV test. She should also tell her that they are facing problems at home while she is away. This will send a message to her. Macheme Stephen, Muterere SS, Bugiri A whole father who should advise the daughter misbehaves! Diana’s friend should not be a afraid. She should explain to him the consequences of what he is doing. If he gets infected with HIV, who will care for his children. He may change. Musema Mambo Mansur. Daystar SS, Koboko Diana’s friend should not be intimidated by her father. She should ask for help from elders, teachers and relatives. The elders will guarantee her security in case her father sends her away. She should not accept bribes from her father. In case the father is infected with HIV, he will infect the mother. Omirambe W, Bishop Cyprian Kihangire SS, Kampala. We got letters from 51 straight talkers.

YOU ALL WIN ST CAPS, PENS

STRAIGHT TALK FOUNDATION Plot 4 Acacia Avenue, Kololo, P. O. Box 22366, Tel: 0312-262030/1 Kampala (U),

Kisoro Vision Straight Talk club say love is not sex and sex is not love.

E-mail: [email protected], Web: www.straight-talk.or.ug, President: C. Watson, Executive Director: J. Wiltshire, Director Print: T. Agutu, Editorial Manager: M Akello, Editors: G. Awekofua, J. Abongowath, F. Ouma, P. Kiwuuwa, Writer: J. Nafula, Chief Designer: M. eB Kalanzi, Designers: G.B Mukasa, A.B Dentine, Funded by DANIDA, DFID, SIDA, Printer: The New Vision