Straight Talk, August 2008

Words of wisdom

This picture was taken in Bwindi:

Every time we liberate a woman, we liberate a man. ~Margaret Mead

You can get a copy of Straight Talk in your community where you see this signpost.

Whether women are better than men I cannot say - but I can say they are certainly no worse. ~Golda Meir Boys and girls, be committed to respecting each other. You have a right and responsibility to make safe choices for now and the future.

008 August 2 .7 o N 4 Vol. 1

Unlimited by gender W

hat would you think if you saw a male nurse or a male secretary? Or women playing "mweso" while their husbands fetch water and carry babies? Seems strange to you? You may have some gender bias.

What comes to your mind when you see the word gender? You may say gender is ideas and expectations people have about being a male or female. These expectations could be in terms of roles, behaviour, characteristics, values or abilities associated with being male or female. Domestic duties such as fetching water and taking care of children are traditionally considered women's work. But males too can do these duties. Apart from giving birth, which is dictated by biology, men can do everything that women can do and females can do everything that men can do. Gender also refers to opportunities associated with being male and female and the relationships between women and men and girls and boys. Gender expectations are socially constructed and learned as you grow and interact with other people. They vary from society to society and can change.

Drop your gender bias. Support equal choices and opportunities for all.

There is no such thing as a man's or a woman's job. Men and women can share work equally for a better life and development.

Girl mechanics at work Helen and Olivia fix cars. To them it is natural to change oil and look under the bonnets at Zezziwe Automobile Vocational Training Institute in Kalerwe, Kampala. "I have loved mechanics since childhood, so I joined this institute after S6. "Says Helen 23, "My friends thought this was a man's career and that male mechanics would harass me. But that didn't stop me."

You simply need to be the best that you can be at whatever you do. Anyone can do anything.

Gender and HIV

In most societies there are differences and inequalities between females and males in responsibilities given, activities done, access to and control over resources, plus decision-making opportunities. Because of these differences and inequalities women and girls have fewer rights, lower education and health status. They also have less access to resources and decision making than men. This makes girls and women powerless and vulnerable to HIV. Promote gender equality in your home and school. Start by thinking about your views towards the girls and boys you interact with. Positive gender attitudes contribute to the reduction in the spread of HIV.

Do not let gender attitudes influence your choices about relationships, sex and your future.Whether you are a girl or boy, you have a right to make safe choices. Choose to delay sex. It is healthy and safe. If you are sexually active, use condoms.

Helen Bakanansa and Olivia Mukota check under the car bonnet

Girls, you can do technical education or sciences. They are for both boys and girls.

Cooking makes me happy Kaddu Mukasa Kironde II (KK) has been cooking for at least the past 40 years. He realised that cooking is not just for girls, a long time ago. “The cooking industry is one of the most active in Uganda. It sustains a lot of people. You can make money from food.”

KK buying tomatoes and onions

KK learnt to cook from his grandfather.

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Straight Talk, August 2008

What society expects boys and girls to do or be can influence them to make wrong choices. This can expose girls and boys to HIV Infection

When negative

What behaviours or abilities do you or people in your community associate with being a boy or a girl?

Male domination puts girls at risk Straight Talk interviewed Dr. Juliet Kiguli, of the School of Public Health, Makerere University about gender and health.

Nanyondo Jamirah, 16, Kitante Hill says: "Girls are graceful and clean. They bring joy and pride and dowry to the family." This is Jamirah's view, what is your view?

"Ugandan society is still dominated by men and old attitudes that put women at a disadvantage.

Racheal, 16, says: "Females are meant to be gentle, weak, and less clever while males are strong, clever and decision makers in the home or relationship." Racheal's views are common in most communities. These negative gender attitudes create unequal relationship between boys and girls. Such attitudes make girls unable to negotiate for safer sex. They also become ignorant and passive about sex. This makes it easy for them to acquire HIV. Meanwhile boys could feel powerful and think they are the only decision makers, while their female partners are just weaklings with no say. This can lead to violence and sexual abuse when a girl refuses to accept a boy's decisions.

Men should understand that sometimes they misuse their power and end up increasing the spread of HIV. More women and girls are infected by HIV because they cannot say no to sex. They cannot make decisions and have no money. Delaying sex until marriage is best. If you must have sex, test for HIV with your partner and always use condoms.'

Boys, use your strength to protect and support girls. They are your sisters, your future wives and mothers of the nation.

Other negative gender attitudes: • Boys can have many sexual partners • Older men can marry young girls • Girls cannot say no to sex even where they are aware that their partner has many other sexual partners or is HIV positive

Girls, be assertive and speak your minds.

•Girls depend on men for all their needs.

Gender equality does not mean men/boys are the same. It means giving men and boys and women/ girls equal opportunity and choices.

Be ware of the unhealthy gender attitudes that increase the spread of HIV. To change these attitudes, we need to promote gender equality and empowerment in our homes and communities!

How HIV enters the body...

Both boys and girls are at great risk of HIV infection. But girls are more likely to get HIV if they have unprotected sex with an infected partner. The reason is this: Inside the penis is the tube called the urethra. Boys have delicate mucous membrane and delicate cells (lymphocytes) in the urethra and under the foreskin. (As illustration B)

During sex with an infected person, sexual fluids containing HIV enter the genital organs.

They also do not produce much vaginal lubrication. This causes friction during sex which can easily bring about small grazes (scratches) on the vaginal walls. HIV can easily enter through these scratches.

The right body surface and the right cells must be available for HIV to infect you. HIV cannot exist for long on its own outside white blood cells called lymphocytes or CD4 carrying cells. HIV lives in body fluids. It is particularly highly concentrated in semen, blood and vaginal fluids. During sex with an infected person, these fluids containing HIV enter your genital organs.

Dr. Juliet Kiguli

Dr Edith Nakku Girls are more vulnerable But girls have even a bigger area of mucous membrane. They have the whole surface area of the vagina and cervix (opening of the womb). (See illustration A ) It is worse for young girls Young girls under the age of 18 are especially at risk of infection because their vaginas have very thin walls covered with very delicate cells.

The entry of HIV is made even easier if you have an STD which causes a break/tear in the mucous membrane. Or if you have an infection in the genitals. In that case, there will be infection fighting cells (lymphocytes or CD4) in and around our genitals. They have gathered there to fight the infection. Unfortunately, these are exactly the cells the HIV needs to enter, survive and start reproducing.

A

Where HIV cannot pass HIV is not able to enter through the natural skin that we have, for example, on our arms and stomach (unless, that skin is broken, has a cut or sore).

B

Dr Edith Nakku, Mulago STD clinic

...Girls at a greater risk of infection ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Straight Talk, August 2008

gender attitudes hurt Do you feel free to express your views?

Agree " (1point) Not sure (2 points) Disagree (3 points)

Even in a relationship, girls have a right to say no to bad touches or sex demands.

Girls....

Boys:

Do you find it hard to talk in class? What is your fear? Is it the fear of being laughed at or teased by boys? Do not be intimidated by anyone. Feel free to give answers or ask questions. Be assertive. Remember that you have every right to participate in class.

How do you treat girls ? Do you shut them up or give them a chance to talk? Teasing girls who put up their hands to contribute is not right. Imagine if it were you being teased! Give girls a chance to be active. It is their right. Listen. You may learn something.

Positive gender attitudes can contribute to a reduction in the spread of HIV.

It is cool to have one partner "I believe one boy should have one girlfriend." Our peers, family members and community may encourage us to find an extra partner. They may make you feel as though something is wrong if you do not. When you have multiple sexual partners, it increases the risk of contracting HIV. Uphold your values. Resist any temptations that may influence you to have another sexual partner. It is cool to have one partner. Godfrey Walakira, Clubs Coordinator - Straight Talk

Often, men decide the timing and frequency of sex and condom use sometimes through force or violence. In these cases, women may not have the power to protect themselves.

Condoms: I have to protect my life "I can walk into the shop without fear to buy a condom. It is about my life, so I have to protect myself. I have to be open with my boyfriend and he has to respect my decision." Apio Robinah, 16, S3, Lwala Girls- Kaberamaido

Who should buy them? "It is the boy to decide whether we use a condom or not. He has the authority. If I decide, he may think that I am a prostitute. I cannot risk buying a condom, people may think that I am crazy." Ezatiru Josephine, Yumbe SS, Yumbe

This shows focus and a very organised social life. This reduces the risk of getting diseases like HIV/ STDs. I encourage boys and girls to have one partner." Denis Mubiru, 17, S6, Kitante Hill School

Straight Talk Club activity: Check your gender attitudes Are women and men, boys and girls created equal? What do you think? Answer the following questions from the Gender-Equitable Men (GEM) Scale and find out. Did you know that young men who think of girls as equals have healthier and more satisfying relationships? Realising girls and boys are equals is a sign of empowerment. Agree with the statement? Circle 1 point. Not sure? Get 2 points. If you don’t agree, score 3 points. When you've finished answering, add up your points and see how gender equitable you are! 1-4 low 5-9 high 1. It is the man who decides what type of sex to have. Agree Not sure Disagree

You just do it. Agree Not sure

Disagree

5. Women who carry condoms are 'easy'. Agree Not sure Disagree 6. Changing nappies, giving the kids a bath and feeding them are a mother’s responsibility. Agree Not sure Disagree 7. It is a woman’s responsibility to avoid getting pregnant. Agree Not sure Disagree 8. A man should have the final word about decisions in his home. Agree Not sure Disagree 9. There are times when a woman deserves to be beaten. Agree Not sure Disagree

2. A woman’s most important role is to take care of her home and cook for her family. Agree Not sure Disagree 3. Men need sex more than women. Agree Not sure Disagree What if the boy turns up without the condoms? What happens? Get to feel confident about buying condoms. This alone can spoil your protection plan and expose you to HIV. Girls too have the authority and right to buy and learn about condoms or use them.

CONDOM TIP: Talk about condoms before going far in your relationship. If you cannot talk about condoms, avoid sex until you are ready.

4. You don’t talk about sex.

A higher score means more equitable gender attitudes!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Points Scored

Total

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4 Straight Talk, August 2008

Dear

SYFA 3666 2236 Boxx 22 O. Bo P.P. O. L M P A A KK AA M P A L A

Thinking about my ex I broke up with my girlfriend because of her insecurities. I have tried loving someone else, but don’t have much interest. I still think about my ex all of the time. What can I do? Matsiko David, Kabale Trinity College, Kabale David, You are still in love with your ex. Sit down and talk with her. Tell her how you feel and let her tell you why she is insecure. Come up with the solutions both of you. Tempted to have sex I was tempted by my neighbour into sex. She died in 2000 supposedly of AIDS. Do I have AIDS even though I have never had any symptoms? KF, Namungoona HS, Kampala KF, one may live with HIV for a long time without AIDS. Symptoms appear when HIV turns into AIDS. However, the only way to know whether one has HIV (the virus that

causes AIDS) is through testing. Consider taking an HIV/AIDS test to clear up your worries. He is HIV-positive I have been in a relationship for five years. I have just found out my boyfirend is HIV-positive. Should I leave him? I still love him very much. NL, Bulisa SS, Mubende It may not be easy to just leave. You and your boyfriend should talk to a counsellor about how to move forward in your relationship. If you had unprotected sex, you may need to have an HIV/AIDS test. Septrine and HIV results Is it true that after taking tablets like septrine you can test HIV negative when you are really positive? G. Timon, Nganwa HS, Kabwohe Bushenyi No. You will still test HIV-positive. Septrine only reduces opportunistic infections like malaria and diarrhoea. It does not cure HIV/ AIDS. First sperm and pregnancy Is it true that the first produced sperms cannot make a girl pregnant? Nalunga Esther, 16, Sserwanga Lwanga Memorial SS, Kalangala Every sperm can make a girl pregnant. The strongest sperm will fertilise a girl’s egg during her

Straight Talk Club members, Busiu Central College, Mbale

What are boy/girlfriends for? In ST July we run a quiz: What are boyfriends and girlfriends for? Thanks to all those who wrote in! Ten of you are winners!

help your boyfriend by advising him to avoid behaviours and practices that can put any of you at risk of early sex. Namagembe Annet, Dokolo Progressive Dokolo Elisha and Annet are the star Straight Talkers for August. You win a T-shirt and ruler each.

“Girlfriends and boyfriends are there to help each other in trying times. If someone is in need, the other can help academically by sharing knowledge. This can lead to good performance.” Eriku Elisha Bugambe SS, Hoima.

Other eight writers win T-shirts: Akankwasa S, Bugambe SS, Hoima, Orishaba B, Ruhama SS, Magezi I, Sserwanga Lwanga SS Kalangala, Masaki N, Kyotera College, Ratib STAR CLUB: A, L Omuga Sserwanga SS, Yumbe, Lwanga Odongo D, Memorial School Dokolo ST club wins Progressive, two balls: A Muhindo football and a Ruth, netball Mutanywana SS, Kasese

ovulation period. Never played sex I have never played sex because my brothers ended up in jail for rape. What problems am I likely to face when I marry? Matege John St. Peters College Buweera Bwenge, Jinja John, you have no problem. It’s good you’re not having premarital sex. You will have sex when the right time for you comes. Bicycles and virginity Can a girl lose her virginity when riding a bicycle? Muyinda A, 17, Busembatia No. A girl loses her virginity when her vagina is penetrated by a man’s penis during sex. Sex demand I have a boyfriend who always demands sex. I don’t want it because I don’t know his HIV status. I don’t want to lose him. What can I do? Nafuna Violet, 19, St. Benedict HS, Tororo Stand firm and tell him that you are not ready. If he loves you, he will be patient and wait. You are still young to think about sex. Focus on your studies Marriage after O level I have a boyfriend four years older than me. He is a businessman and wants to marry me after O levels. I love school, but I love him too. What can I do? I am so confused. Tuheirirwe Shallon Ruhaama SS, Ntugamo Do not let your boyfriend confuse you. Let him know that you want to finish your studies then get married. If he loves you, he will wait for you and respect your decision. Counsellor: Stella Magomu, Hope After Rape

ADVISE & WIN... I am 18, in S6 living with my stepfather. Since my first day in S6, he has been so rude to my mum that he even locked her outside for two days. Whenever I try to help mum, he threatens to stop paying my fees. I am worried about mum’s safety, yet I do not want to leave school. Please advise me. I am confused. ABC, Sserwanga Lwanga Memorial SS Kalangala Send your advice to Straight Talk. P.O.Box, 22366, Kampala and win exciting prizes!

“Stay safe and take care of your lives,” says Okecho James Jones, Uphill College, Mbuya.

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