Casey Watkins Student - Heritagehs - Narrative Draft 2

Watkins 1 Casey Watkins Ms.Wilson Period 3 February 28, 2019

I remember it like it was yesterday, my dad rushed into my room about half past 9 yelling “get up, get up!” Half asleep, I tried to shake myself awake. “What, what can be so important at 9 am??” I snap back. He gives me a look as though he’s contemplating about how early he woke me up then looks back at me and continues, “I need your help to plan a little something for our 20th.” Those words hit me like a wave of happiness. Shooting out of bed, I gleefully started to help organize and plan. I contributed as much helpful information as I could. Let me tell you the full story.

When I was about 8 years old my parents were going on their 20th anniversary. My parents have spent about 35 years together. The idea of love in my family started with the love between my parents who then loved my brother and I. My dad wanted that it would be memorable for our family and our friends. Knowing the beach is my mother’s all time favorite spot, we decided that would be where the surprise would take place. Hours were spent coordinating the day to be sure it was perfect. We planned who came, how we would get her there without her suspecting, where we could buy flowers and a buttercream cake that we could eat after the ceremony. My dad found a local flower and beach cake shop that could make a three layer anniversary cake. My dad then went to the shop for two weekends to collect rose petals for the day of the ceremony. I was in charge of hiding the marriage certificate until the day of the china wedding, which is

Watkins 2 another name for a 20 year wedding anniversary. My dad and I were able to find a photographer that we then arranged to come take pictures after and during the ceremony. After the two weeks passed, the day had come and we told my mom that we had planned a family photo shoot with a professional photographer. We left that morning and headed down to Oak island NC and my brother left from UNC Charlotte as well . When we arrived (after about four hours) my dad said he was going to meet up with the photographer to tell them which street we planned on going to to have the pictures taken, but really he was gathering the four buckets of rose petals and the pastor to guide the ceremony. He came back a few hours later and we put on dressy, coordinated outfits and headed for the point (the tip of the island). In the car my mom was unexpecting to what was about to happen but once we got out of the car she started to see rose petals along the sand. Walking past the dunes we could see a large group of what she thought were just strangers, but the group turned out to be family and friends with rose petals in their hands. I knew what was to come and i was so excited. They threw the petals up into the air and the petals danced in the wind, landing on the sand as if to kiss it. The smile on her face was contagious and almost as if her smile was to big to fit on her face. A loud “SURPRISE” was said and a few joyful tears from my mom were shed. I felt so happy when i saw her and i couldn’t help but smile. She went up to everyone there, who included my grandparents, her best friends from college and high school, other family members and greeted them with a hug. Then she turned to me and picked me up in a big hug. I had never felt closer to her. The ceremony started with everyone standing on the sides creating an “isle” for my parents to walk down. I was the flower girl throwing petals on the walkway while my parents followed after. My parents restated their vows and finished up with a kiss. I cringed because in my 8 year old mind that was still considered “cooties”. The photographer pulled me and my brother away for our individual pictures by the shore. Then, she gathered the whole family to sit near the dunes and we smiled, trying to pretend like the sand wasn’t piercing our skin each time the wind blew.

Watkins 3 We all loaded up into cars and headed back to one of our family friends who has a house on the beach. As we walked into the house an overwhelming smell of sweetness filled our noses and we couldn’t help but ask “what’s that wonderful smell?” Walking into the kitchen we could see a three layer, beautiful beach-themed cake. I looked at my mom and pieced together how amazing of a mother she was, but my mind began to wonder. I couldn’t help but be the first to get a piece, but when I took my first bite I got this waxy feeling in my mouth i’ll never forget. Trying to make light out of the situation my mom jokingly said, “At least it’s pretty.” And we let out a giggle. That night was so wholesome, with the feeling of love spreading to all in the house. It was almost as if someone had set off a bomb of joy inside every person. That night was the spark of light that I remember from my childhood and I’m so thankful to have been able to be a part. Because of that night i now feel more connected to my family and friends. This pushed me to try to let the love flow through me to all those around me. Love is a simple word with a complex definition, described many ways by many different people. For me, love is found in family memories.

Narrative Essay Rubric (Honors) Score: 45/50 W.9-10.3​. Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, well-chosen details, and well-structured event sequences.

Standard 3.a​. ​Introduction​ Engage and orient the reader by setting out a problem, situation, or observation, establishing one or multiple point(s) of view, and introducing a narrator and/or characters; create a smooth progression of experiences or events.

Exceptional (10-9) ❏

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Effectively hook the reader with a creative, original, and compelling hook Effectively sets out a problem, situation, or observation in a compelling and/or creative manner Establish an insightful, original, or creative point of view

Proficient (8-7) ❏

Hook the reader with a compelling hook

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Effectively sets out a problem, situation, or observation

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Establish an insightful point of view

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Introduce a narrator, characters, setting, and main idea

Emerging (6-1)

Not Evident (0)

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3.b. ​Narrative​ - ​Use narrative techniques, such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines, to develop experiences, events, and/or characters.

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Introduce a ​complex and/or creative narrator, characters, setting, and main idea

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Utilize ​two or more (teacher discretion) narrative techniques with purpose: dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, multiple plot lines, etc…

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Develop experiences, events, and/or characters and to clearly develop a purposeful theme

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Use ​purposefully narrative techniques such as foreshadowing, dramatic irony, suspense, and/or flashbacks in a ​highly effective manner​ ​to create an original plot structure

8.5

3.c​. ​Organization​ - ​Use a variety of techniques to sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole. 9

3.d.​ ​Language​ - ​Use precise words and phrases, telling details, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture of the experiences, events, setting, and/or characters.

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Utilize narrative techniques such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines

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Develop experiences, events, and/or characters in attempt to convey theme

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Use appropriately techniques such as foreshadowing, dramatic irony, suspense, and/or flashbacks

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Create a smooth progression of experiences or events that is logical and engaging

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Create a smooth progression of experiences or events that is logical, ​creative, and sophisticated ​and that uses ​highly engaging devices

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Use precise, detailed and ​sophisticated words, phrases, and sensory language​ to engage the reader ​and convey a​ ​vivid picture

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Use precise and detailed words, phrases, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture

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Provide a conclusion that reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved

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Provide a conclusion that reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved

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Extends the meaning and purpose to connect to the

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Extends the meaning to convey a theme

9 3.e.​ ​Conclusion​ - ​Provide a conclusion that follows from and reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved over the course of the narrative.

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audience ​and​ ​convey a complex and original theme