Amanda Juzwick Student - Heritagehs - Narrative Draft 2

Juzwick 1 Amanda Juzwick Ms. Wilson 3rd Period February 27th, 2019 I walked through my front doors and threw my heavy backpack on the ground. I was relieved to finally be home after a long school day. As I threw myself onto my couch I heard my mom yell to me from upstairs. She told me I had to dogsit my grandparents dog tonight at around 5:00. I sighed and rolled my eyes because I didn’t want to go to my grandparents house, to just sit there and watch a lazy dog for hours. I have watched their dog many times before, and it's the same routine each time. Little did I know this time would actually be completely different. A few hours passed and it was almost time to go to my grandparents house. I quickly chewed down my dinner and got into comfy clothes; since all I would be doing is sitting around for hours. My mom told me to fix my attitude before I walked through their door and I responded with a long groan. As I walked through the front door my grandma greeted me, and as usual, told me what to do while they were gone. In my head I knew exactly what she was going to say: at 7:00 give him a snack, let him outside every hour and a half with a leash on, make sure the doors are always locked, and stay inside. I slowly sat down on their sofa and sunk into it. As they were leaving I was thinking in my head: “Could this night get any more boring?”. It was the first hour and all that was accomplished was letting the dog outside to use the bathroom. I moped through the house knowing I would have to do this same routine for possibly 4 more hours. As the hours ticked by I was increasingly getting more and more tired. All I wanted was to go home and finally go to sleep after this long exhausting day. Suddenly I hear

Juzwick 2 my phone ring. I thought to myself: “Finally, it must be grandma telling me they're on their way home”. As I looked down to my screen I smiled a smile of relief from escaping this boring job I was forced into. I answered my grandmas call, and all I could pick out was the nervous and anxious tone in her voice. Her words spewed out at one hundred miles per hour and I could barely understand what was being said. I asked if everything was okay, and said I couldn't hear her well. Then, for the first time during the phone call, her words made sense to me. My mouth dropped to the ground and a rush of fear came over me. My grandma was shouting that grandpa had passed out at their event, and hit his head outside on the concrete. I didn’t know if my grandpa was going to be okay, and I didn’t know the seriousness of the situation. So many thoughts were rushing through my head. Will this be the last time I would've seen my grandpa? What is my grandma thinking? Will she be okay living on her own? This was the first time I even thought of losing my grandpa. After all, he was eighty and had some health issues, but he constantly acted like he was in his sixties. The dog was moving sluggishly through my grandparents house as if he knew something was wrong. I started feeling extremely guilty that through the whole day I was dreading the task of watching a lazy dog. I hadn't even realized that I was lucky to have grandparents that were still alive, and for having a great relationship with them. Was this a sign that I need to stop taking advantage of great things that others can’t even consider doing anymore? After about 20 minutes of overthinking about how I had been living for the past years in my life, I heard a quiet knock at the door. Realizing my grandparents number one rule about me being at their house home alone was to never answer the door, I neglected to answer the door. A few seconds later, another knock reached the door. This time I figured this must be something

Juzwick 3 important, possibly my grandma. As I turned the corner to go towards the front door, I noticed a familiar face at the door. It was my mom, who looked as if she had just seen a ghost. When I opened the door, the first thing she said was have you heard? I replied with a quiet yes, and she walked right into the house. She told me that my grandparents were at the hospital and they could possibly take a long time to get home. I looked down at my phone to look at the time and it read 7:32, a few hours after I had even gotten there. I asked my mom how my grandpa was doing and if he was going to be okay, and all she replied was “I’m not sure yet”. The knot in my stomach grew increasingly tighter and I instantly felt bad about how I had been acting that day. The hours passed by and my anxiety began to slow down as we continued to receive multiple messages from my grandma saying that my grandpa was going to be okay, but he still was injured pretty badly. Once my grandma came home she looked tired and sorrow, for she had been through a long and tough night. I hugged her tightly, and ever since that day I had seen life completely differently. I realized I need to have a positive outlook on things- even if they seem terrible at the time. I also learned I can’t take things, in this case people, for granted.

Narrative Essay Rubric (Honors) Score: 44.5/50 W.9-10.3​. Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, well-chosen details, and well-structured event sequences.

Standard 3.a​. ​Introduction​ Engage and orient the reader by setting out a problem, situation, or observation, establishing one or multiple point(s) of view, and introducing a narrator and/or characters; create a

Exceptional (10-9) ❏

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Effectively hook the reader with a creative, original, and compelling hook Effectively sets out a problem, situation, or observation in a compelling and/or creative manner

Proficient (8-7) ❏

Hook the reader with a compelling hook

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Effectively sets out a problem, situation, or observation

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Establish an insightful point of view

Emerging (6-1)

Not Evident (0)

Juzwick 4 smooth progression of experiences or events. 9

3.b. ​Narrative​ - ​Use narrative techniques, such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines, to develop experiences, events, and/or characters.

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Establish an insightful, original, or creative point of view

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Introduce a ​complex and/or creative narrator, characters, setting, and main idea

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Utilize ​two or more (teacher discretion) narrative techniques with purpose: dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, multiple plot lines, etc…

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Develop experiences, events, and/or characters and to clearly develop a purposeful theme

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Use ​purposefully narrative techniques such as foreshadowing, dramatic irony, suspense, and/or flashbacks in a ​highly effective manner​ ​to create an original plot structure

8.5

3.c​. ​Organization​ - ​Use a variety of techniques to sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole. 9

3.d.​ ​Language​ - ​Use precise words and phrases, telling details, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture of the experiences, events, setting, and/or characters.

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Introduce a narrator, characters, setting, and main idea

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Utilize narrative techniques such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines

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Develop experiences, events, and/or characters in attempt to convey theme

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Use appropriately techniques such as foreshadowing, dramatic irony, suspense, and/or flashbacks

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Create a smooth progression of experiences or events that is logical and engaging

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Create a smooth progression of experiences or events that is logical, ​creative, and sophisticated ​and that uses ​highly engaging devices

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Use precise, detailed and ​sophisticated words, phrases, and sensory language​ to engage the reader ​and convey a​ ​vivid picture

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Use precise and detailed words, phrases, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture

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Provide a conclusion that reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved

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Provide a conclusion that reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved

10 3.e.​ ​Conclusion​ - ​Provide a conclusion that follows from and reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved

Juzwick 5 over the course of the narrative. 8

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Extends the meaning and purpose to connect to the audience ​and​ ​convey a complex and original theme

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Extends the meaning to convey a theme