Heritagehs - Narrative Draft 2

Max Mathues

Mathues 1

Ms. Wilson 3rd Period 2/27/2019

Who is going to be there? What should I take for a balanced workload? How are people going to act? Is anyone going to like me? All of these questions raced through my head. I was a quiet person, keeping to my own unless I knew someone well, and unfortunately, I didn't know anyone at Heritage High. I had been a good student throughout school so far, making lots of friends and keeping my grades up. The only difference between the past and my would-be future is that in the past I had stayed with the same group of people for years, only to separate from them now and have everything change in high school. High school was going to be an entirely different experience. When I arrived at high school, the first thing I noticed was how massive it seemed. With its thousands of kids and seemingly countless hallways, I thought it would be easy to meet people, similar to the way I was before. What I didn't realize at the time was that everyone had already been in their own friend groups from middle school, as most everyone that attended heritage high had also gone to the heritage middle school. On top of this everyone seemed to mask who they really are, putting on a show for everyone else of what the others wanted to see. Because of my struggles to meet people I then found myself struggling to focus and do well in school. I believe there may have been several reasons outside of school that I found myself having a hard time, with a lack of ability to manage my time being at the forefront. I had several baseball commitments outside of school, a job that wanted more hours from me than I could

Max Mathues

Mathues 2

Ms. Wilson 3rd Period 2/27/2019

handle at the time, and homework and projects from school to top it all off. I was in an endless loop of exhaustion and despair, not thinking I was able to do everything and at the same time not wanting to give anything up. All of the activities in my daily schedule may not have been as big of an issue if I wasn't also struggling at school. After a semester I still hadn’t made progress in either my academic life or my social life, going from mostly A’s and some B’s to some B’s and some C’s. Around my second semester of my freshman year, I told myself that things needed to change and I needed to find some way to better myself at school. My dilemma was then that I couldn’t conceivably add anything else to my daily schedule. I was stumped, waging a mental battle over what was more important to me; baseball, school, social life, or work. It was at this time that the problem solved itself, a baseball injury preventing me from playing for an extended period of time. I used this time to do more volunteering for the homeless, try some new clubs at school, and put myself out there for other people to finally see who I was, and am to this day. Due to these measures to make friends, in tandem with the several more hours I had every day, my grades improved some, and I was happier overall in school as well as at home. In hindsight, I should have made changes to my lifestyle earlier in my life to prevent this from ever happening, but I think the experience helped me grow by teaching me to adapt to any situation and make friends in the process, whether the situation is an injury or moving schools. I overcame my struggle with school and my grades started rising again, still not up to my standard but still improving, and at the same time I now have many more friends at the school I am comfortable being myself around. Even though the personal journey that I went on was not

Max Mathues

Mathues 2

Ms. Wilson 3rd Period 2/27/2019

something that I would have preferred, I do think that it grew me as a person and even got me interested in some new things. Through the clubs I joined in an attempt to make friends I gained an interest in technology, leading me to start tinkering with electronics and eventually building a few computers, and even making me want to pursue a career in computer engineering. There were some costs of these changes however, like not having as much time for some activities I did prior to high school unless I make some extra time during my day, like baseball, or going on runs and bike rides with friends. Overall I think my life has changed for the better in the last year or so, and I am a much different person than I was. My endless loop of fatigue and stress finally had come to an end.

Narrative Essay Rubric (Honors) Score: 43.5/50 W.9-10.3​. Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, well-chosen details, and well-structured event sequences.

Standard 3.a​. ​Introduction​ Engage and orient the reader by setting out a problem, situation, or observation, establishing one or multiple point(s) of view, and introducing a narrator and/or characters; create a smooth progression of experiences or events.

Exceptional (10-9) ❏

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Effectively hook the reader with a creative, original, and compelling hook Effectively sets out a problem, situation, or observation in a compelling and/or creative manner

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Establish an insightful, original, or creative point of view

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Introduce a ​complex and/or creative narrator, characters, setting, and main idea

10

Proficient (8-7) ❏

Hook the reader with a compelling hook

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Effectively sets out a problem, situation, or observation

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Establish an insightful point of view

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Introduce a narrator, characters, setting, and main idea

Emerging (6-1)

Not Evident (0)

Max Mathues

Mathues 2

Ms. Wilson 3rd Period 2/27/2019 3.b. ​Narrative​ - ​Use narrative techniques, such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines, to develop experiences, events, and/or characters.

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Develop experiences, events, and/or characters and to clearly develop a purposeful theme

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Use ​purposefully narrative techniques such as foreshadowing, dramatic irony, suspense, and/or flashbacks in a ​highly effective manner​ ​to create an original plot structure

8

3.c​. ​Organization​ - ​Use a variety of techniques to sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole. 8.5

3.d.​ ​Language​ - ​Use precise words and phrases, telling details, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture of the experiences, events, setting, and/or characters.

Utilize ​two or more (teacher discretion) narrative techniques with purpose: dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, multiple plot lines, etc…

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Utilize narrative techniques such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection, and multiple plot lines

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Develop experiences, events, and/or characters in attempt to convey theme

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Use appropriately techniques such as foreshadowing, dramatic irony, suspense, and/or flashbacks

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Create a smooth progression of experiences or events that is logical and engaging

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Create a smooth progression of experiences or events that is logical, ​creative, and sophisticated ​and that uses ​highly engaging devices

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Use precise, detailed and ​sophisticated words, phrases, and sensory language​ to engage the reader ​and convey a​ ​vivid picture

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Use precise and detailed words, phrases, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture

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Provide a conclusion that reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved

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Provide a conclusion that reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved

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Extends the meaning and purpose to

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Extends the meaning to convey a theme

9 3.e.​ ​Conclusion​ - ​Provide a conclusion that follows from and reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved

Max Mathues

Mathues 2

Ms. Wilson 3rd Period 2/27/2019 over the course of the narrative. 8

connect to the audience ​and​ ​convey a complex and original theme