Varanasi

In the whole wide world - there is just one place, where by just being there….My body would stop to function – the place that can border my realms of thoughts....once I am there - My mind would terminate to think any further....I see the end of life there...Life seems so wholesome and I cannot just simply ask for more.... In mere words – the place is called – V a r a n a s I . . . . . . . .

Varanasi for me...is the epitome of my ideals of spirituality...I don’t seem to understand what connections I might have had with that place or what connections I do currently have with the city of Varanasi. Judgement is not going to be of any solace. So why burden myself with judging? Nevertheless, my limited mind tries to reason….Is it because the Ganges flows there in all its mighty? Is it because it is called "The Eternal City"? Is it because, it is the place that can verily wash the sins one does...? Is it because, Lord Shiva is believed to be present there....? If He is present only there...does that mean - He doesn’t exist anywhere else? Idle time paves in to analyzing and these are the multiple results of my imperfect reasoning.... I still do not comprehend why the city seems so dear to me? A typical day for me in the city is usually thus - Arising when sleep no longer holds my eyes closed.....Time is not a barrier...I have no mundane chores to do...My mornings could even begin way past noon - No one seems to question....A quick act of ablutions - I dare not call them, morning ablutions, for they are performed in no synchrony with time. I walk to the Ganges - see the shimmering ripples against the sun, shining up above...I

make

myself

warm

in

those

soothing

rays,

still

pondering

over

yesterday....I take a handful of water from the Ganges - make an act of offering it to the Sun God and throw the water back into the river....Did the Sun God accept my

offering? Did I really offer it? Did I do it, because I have yet another one did it....? No clue...Questions unasked. Shhh....! My trip to Varanasi this time was surely thought provoking....what do I gather from visiting the place every year? What is it so special about the place? On a mere mundane, physical plane - The views of the city are thus: Streets are so filled with dirt - I don’t relate to it. Crowds throng every available little minute place of the city - I don’t relate to it. People of different castes and cultures having their own gala time out there - I don’t relate to it. Adult movies are being screened at almost every cinema theatre - I don’t relate to it. Business goes on in full swing, with 'corruption' as the only motive - I don’t relate to it. People making the most even from out of a beggar - I don’t relate to it. Sweet shops and restaurants are found all over the city I don’t relate to it. Silk, one huge reason the city is famous for – shops that are covered in rich silk all over the place – I don't relate to it. Dirty animals playing in puddles of urine and mud – I don't relate to it. ‘Pan’ – yet another delicacy that is the city is extremely known for – strewn on every nook and corner – I don't relate to it. Umpteen number of shops selling religious items, pictures of gods and goddesses – I don't relate to it. Huge crowds having a dip in the Ganges – I don't relate to it. Boats filled with tourists wanting to know more and share more – I don't relate to it. Temples so filled with history and mystery throng the city – I don't relate to it, all, except one.

Vendor selling goods

Busy streets of Varanasi

What then do I find so attractive about the city? Which part of the city do I then relate to? The Ganges....? The Ganges is one of the most important rivers in India, having its roots deeply coiled into spirituality. It is believed to be the, in accordance with scriptures, the holiest of all rivers on earth. The mere sight of the river is believed to impart knowledge, splendour, name, fame, etc. Not only man, but the most smallest of creatures like insects too, aim to achieve salvation from the

Ganges. The main source of the Ganges River is the Gangotri Glacier. The Gangotri Glacier, a vast expanse of ice five miles by fifteen, at the foothills of the Himalayas (14000 ft) in north Uttar Pradesh is the source of Bhagirathi, which joins with Alaknanda (origins nearby), to form Ganga at the craggy, canyon-carved town of Devprayag. The river then continues to flow to Rishikesh, then to Haridwar (another city of esteemed importance in Hinduism), then to Varanasi and finally to Prayag (Also known as Allahabad).

The Ghats along the river Ganges

Ok - with this much of geographical knowledge, which I don’t trust to restore in my memory - is the Ganges River the most important aspect to me in Varanasi? Oh my god! The very name - V a r a n a s I - gives me a shiver down my spine.....The first sight of the Ganges is beautiful. You could see the vast expanse of the river - with the river bed on one side and steeped large steps on the other side, thus built by the people of the yore, to form ghats. These ghats could be used for multiple purposes Most of which, I don’t relate to....For example, the Hanuman Ghat is where the dhobi's wash all the clothes - I don’t relate to it. The Kedar Ghat is where people have a dip, as it is considered to be the 'most' spiritual spot in Varanasi - I don’t relate to it. The Assi Ghat is where you and I could meet for a cup of tea and some gossip - I don't relate to it. The Karnataka Ghat is where you find no one as there is no special reason why the Karnataka Ghat was formed. Some one from the Karnataka state would have had some few litres of paint, and thus came the Karnataka Ghat into existence - I don't relate to it. The Harishchandra Ghat is where the mortal bodies are cremated. Before I proceed any further – Finally, here is a something that I totally relate to! :)

The Harishchandra Ghat - This ghat is the closest to Hanuman Ghat - but that hardly matters - for life goes on in full swing at both ghats - without either of the activities interfering with each other. Even though the Manikarnika Ghat is the main cremation ghat, The Harishchandra is only of secondary importance. However, I have always visited more of this ghat, rather than the well acclaimed Manikarnika. A small lane leads one to the entrance of the Harishchandra ghat. A huge red building, made of simple bricks - houses all the wood that is meant for cremation. Of course, you could find piles of normal, cheap wood stacked in fairly neat rows from the very entrance. The ghat is mainly muddy and there are no steps that would walk you to the river. It is only the sand that forms a slope, which eventually touches the river. Sand or Ash? Both, I would say. Infact, more of the latter. There are shops that welcome you in the small lane. Welcoming? Well, these small shops have all the things that one would ever think of buying for a perfect funeral. Of course, limited to the expectations of normal Hindu customs and traditions. From a plank to gaudy coloured cloths; from ropes to huge garlands; from bamboo stretches to incense; from barbers to priests - Not one funeral need is left unattended.

Essential funeral requirements – Pots, incense, cheap silk cloths for covering dead bodies, flowers, etc., are all found in the alley that leads to the Harishchandra Ghat. The only ‘thing’ you would probably have to bring of your own is a “Dead Body”. All the remaining things are catered to. As you enter the ghat, walking over the thick, solid, damp sand; you could find flowers strewn all over the place. The smell of death engulfs the whole place. You eyes could moisten from the smoke of the funeral

pyres. You could see atleast about 4-5 dead bodies being cremated at a single time. With thick black raging fumes coming from all of them – the winds blow only with force to kindle the flames – or kindle the spirit?

Wood stacked for cremation

On the way – Procession in progress

There is usually a funeral procession where the relatives or friends of the dead, usually carry the body in a bamboo stretcher along the alleys, from home till the shore of the river. Also, the dead bodies are brought to the shore by auto rickshaws, or tricycle rickshaws. The dead bodies, that sometimes have to wait in a line to be attended upon are first dipped with all prayers into the Ganges and left on the shore for drying. The shore that is so filled with flower garlands and black ashes is the only place for drying the dead bodies. Only when the water from the bodies has mostly strained out – would they be considered for cremation. The sun shines bright in adding to the magnanimity of the occasion. While the bodies are thus dried, the wood is piled up ready to lodge the body or prepare itself for cremation – For it too will, along with the body be reduced to ashes. The amount and quality of the wood is directly proportional to the monetary stature of the relatives of the dead. The wood is usually weighed in huge scales so as to calculate the price of cremation. If he is able to

afford, wood is placed comfortably to as to cover the entire dead body. If he is unable to afford thus, at times – it can be a little gory to see the cremation, as during the process – pieces of the body would noticeably fall out, due to lack of wood to furnish it.

Bodies in queue waiting to be cremated . . .

The cremation ground looks like this at any time of the day!

Once the body is dried, it is then deprived of all its belongings except of course the white cloth that is finally tied to. The flowers that decked it, the gaudy shawls that covered it, the ropes that bound it – It is finally freed from all clutches the world can still tie it to! It is then solemnly placed on the wood amidst intonations by the priests. The final rites are then performed by the closest male relative and then the body is set aflame. The relatives move back as the fire begins to rage more intensely with such a heat that no man can bear….leave alone the dead body! At brief intervals, a man comes to provoke the wood, so that it lights up well and all parts of the body are completely burnt.

It is quite possible to see pieces of the hands or legs falling up – with yellow coloured liquids emerging from them. There is however, no pungent smell – as the smell of fire eats it all. However, the smell of the fire is for sure not the usual one you would smell – There is some amount of stress you can feel as the smell covers up the air…a feeling that cannot be understood. Is the mystery of life? Does that smell convey the meaning of death? It is a mixture of everything…The smell carries with it the nature of the deceased. It is a very diverse one. You have to smell it for you to essentially know it. Dare, I say – is it the smell of death? Or of new life? I leave it to you to personally experience the disturbance – The Trauma of Fire.

In the process – the process called “Death”!

Ashes being thrown into the Ganges.

The ashes of the cremated are then gathered in bamboo baskets by the locals and mixed with the Ganges. The river bed hosts more than mere mud. It hosts the sins, in normal terms of thousands who have sought refuge here to redeem themselves. The point of the slope of the Harishchandra ghat, where the river meets the bank is

usually so filled with ashes, garlands, bamboo planks, broken pots and ropes. It presents a much disintegrated view of the whole process of cremation.

The onlookers of the cremation could be relatives of the dead or the ones who are waiting patiently for their chance or photographers getting the camera’s view of the dead or tourists who look with awe and fear at this “Cremation Ghat” or random people like me or children, who when the ashes are thrown finally into the Ganges would come to collect coins that were on the dead body. However, no worry – Death is just another business – Yes, so it is in Varanasi. . . . All said and done – this was the only thing in Varanasi that I could completely relate to. After watching a complete funeral – the absolute dissolution of human life – You are totally left with a feeling of detachment and sometimes, with thousands of questions. You feel like a tiny speck – totally small and with identities fully lost. You feel the ultimate reality of life and the sole existence of God. In absolute vacuum, all you realize is the presence of one undamaged truth. I would then hire a “Kanhaiyya” – my boatman who has thus been regularly rowing me across the river, whenever I have visited Varanasi. In Hindi – I would casually tell him, “Chalo Yaar Kanhaiyya, meri naiyya par kaarade…..” Meaning – Oh dear Kanhaiyya, help me get across to that side of the river – However, what needs to be brought to light is the hidden meaning – which of course, any spiritual aspirant would know of – “Kanhaiyya, of course referring to the Lord Almighty, help me cross this ocean of life and death and get to the other end – The other end being “You”. I surrender thus to You, as You row me across all trials and tribulations this mundane life has to throw before me. I seek refuge in You alone”. One small sentence can mean this and so much more…….all remains unsaid, yet heard! Kanhaiyya would row me across the river in a very slow speed and get me to the other end of the Ganges, which is more clean and convenient for bathing purposes. I

would thereby spend a lot of time rowing on the Ganges – admiring the different views of Varanasi. Surely, the sight one has of all the ghats put together – this probably is the most common picture anyone would see – when Varanasi is being referred to.

Once, I reach the other bank, I would waddle in the waters for about 3 or 4 hours. When my body would have become totally numb I would then almost be floating out of sheer exhaustion. While, in the river – my thoughts would travel far and wide and I would have lived many lives and died many deaths………I had time to analyze a lot of things and at the end of everything – I would feel so charged with energy and vibrations. My body would be hot – I would begin to have this feeling that I am not the body – That I am surely much much more than the mere body…..just being caged in this body for a particular purpose and then, my restlessness would again soar to great heights – I would really feel caged – wanting to let my spirit free – I knew I was asking for the final mergence in Him – fumes from the dead bodies could still be seen from this side of the Ganges – I still would feel so helpless – not knowing what to do – not precisely knowing what I wanted……but life felt complete and perfect at that moment………… Kanhaiyya would come and the very sight of his boat nearing my end of the shore – I would have dried up and dressed……What a difference…..At the other end of the Ganges – they dry the body up and undress it – and here, I dry it up and dress it! There are still many more queries that lie unsolved….. I would go back to my room – put away my wet clothes – and proceed then to the most renowned temple of Varanasi – The Viswanath Temple. The only temple that holds my attention. The temple is of most importance to the Hindus, especially to the Saivaites, being primary amongst all the Shiva Temples in the world. The Shiva Linga present in the temple is also one of the 12 Jyotirlinga’s in India. It is a very small linga, black in colour, about the size of a human head, that protrudes and the

remaining part of the linga that is submerged inside the ground. However, what you see outside is a very small structure. Summed together – every Hindu would dream of visiting Varanasi atleast once in his life time to have a dip in the holy Ganges and to have a glimpse of Lord Viswanath.

The golden temple tower of the Viswanath Temple

The Main Shiva Linga inside the sanctum sanctorum

The temple reverberates with vibrations – inexplicable, unimaginable. No amount of adjectives can virtually express the vibrations at the temple. I usually would be on time for the evening rituals. It is, but customary for the priests to perform “aarti” (Waving of camphor lamps in a prescribed fashion) to the Linga twice everyday. Once in the morning – which I have never had the chance to attend – and once in the evening at about 1930 hours. This evening ritual is called “The Saptharishi Aarti” – which means, the Aarti would be performed by 7 most important priests of the temple. With one of them being the Main Priest, the remaining 6 and yet 10 others who would remain inside the sanctum sanctorum while the aarti is being performed. I would usually reach the temple by around 1900. Atleast, some 500 people or even more attend this ritual every evening and it is indeed very fortunate to be viewing this aarti. The sanctum sanctorum is a very small room, in the shape of a perfect square. In one corner of the room, there is yet another small silver square – fenced by golden rails – inside which at a small depth is the main Linga. One has to bend down, in the position of touching his toes, to actually touch the linga’s head. If the railings are absent, which happens, only when crowds are scarce – you could kneel

down and touch the linga. The linga is always submerged in water, milk and varieties of flowers. With people constantly bathing the linga with water from the Ganges – it is but natural for it to be in a small water body. Moreover, Lord Shiva is referred to the one who likes to be bathed always, in more understandable terms – “Abhisheka Priya” – The one who loves to be constantly given a ceremonial, ritualistic bath. The small silver room has 4 doors – 2 of which are used as entrances and 2 as exits – enabling crowds to have darshan of the lord with ease. The flow of devotees is as perennial as the flow of the Ganges. All the 4 doors are sealed by 1900, from when – the room is cleaned and cleared up for the main puja. The water is removed from the silver square and the lord is dried up……. (remember, who else is dried up?). At around 1915 people are made to be seated on all the 4 doorsteps. The huge silver doors are very small and hardly 2 people can be seated with fair comfort at each of the 4 steps. So, that totals to 8 people having a first hand view of the aarti. Well, as He has always willed thus – I have always been one among the 8 to have a first hand view of the aarti. The priests are already inside by then – and the puja begins as soon as the initial crowds that begin from the door step are handled…..god knows how many people throng behind to have a view of this aarti. Since, I have always been seated in front – I have absolutely no clue how many people would really be viewing this aarti. The ceremony begins with the ringing of the bells. Traditionally, bells are rung usually, as an invitation to any divine being in the proximity. It shows that there is some religious event that is going to take place and is like an invitation to those divine beings in close vicinity. Once the bells have been rung – the 16 priests begin to chant mantras and slokas – in a very unique fashion that is probably exclusive to this temple alone. The small room – the sanctum is already filled with the sweet smell of a variety of incense. There were atleast about 100 incense sticks burning from all the 4 corners of the room. The whole room is filled with the aroma of incense, flowers, milk – a variety, I dare to explain! The main priest, who is seated closest to the linga, then begins to give a ceremonial bath, beginning with milk. He would pour atleast some 100 litres of milk before he can proceed to the next. The next being rich creamy curd – that has more cream than curd or more curd than cream…….It is such a feast – of course to the eyes! The

priest then oils the linga. The finest oils – I guess! The linga has a special lustre as the oil flows over it…a sight to see! He then puts a paste of the richest texture to massage the linga, thereby also cleansing it. The paste – god really knows what it is made up of, also gives a very pleasant smell. If the smell from some little quantity of the paste can penetrate through the aroma from so many strong incenses…… Words! Give me words to explain the splendour of the scene….! The ceremonial bath is almost over with this paste and finally, the linga is cleaned with a lot of water. The Abhisheka is almost for about 30 minutes and with the clock ticking

to

2000

hrs,

the

sounds

of

the

intonations

also

changes.

The linga is then dressed with garlands. Blessed are those flowers that are plucked to adorn the almighty! The final decking up is when the ‘Naga’ or the snake, is brought and placed on top of the linga, thereby forming a support to hold more garlands. The Naga is a huge silver structure, with a 5 hooded snake as the crown of that structure. Only the 5 snakes are seen, the rest being so well decorated with flowers. The lights are then dimmed and there is a huge drum that is brought in and played in accordance with the ringing of the bells. Each of the 16 priests has a bell that are rung in a particular fashion, in a certain rhythmic style and there is no error at all, with the beat or the sound of the bell. By now, long silver rods with inbuilt lamps that number up to atleast a 100, are brought and are placed on the silver square; thereby forming the shape of the diamond – of course, the crest jewel that adorns everything is the Linga. The linga, covered with garlands, headed by the Naga – and the diagonally lit up lamps – the sounds of the bells – the chanting of the Vedas – the drums – and the very sight of the lord – Life seems complete. I was really unable to bear the vibrations emanating from the room…….As the time passes, the priests chant the mantras with more vigour and force, thereby creating an aura of inexplicable energy. Mere decorative words cannot fulfill my expression of that moment. I wish time stood still… The room completely dark with only some hundreds of small lamps lighting it – the linga – the sounds of the bells – the drumbeats - the flowers – the smell of incense – the main aarti, with fire rising from it, as though to rule the entire space – I wish my spirit would just set itself free and merge with the lord…..

It is indeed a rude shock when around 2030, all these things come to a close and people rush in to touch the linga. First of all – you are brought down to reality! ….. and as I entered the sanctum to touch the linga – I did feel strange vibrations – I knew He was with me – guiding me and guarding me in all that I do….I could not stay there as long as I wanted to, because the unruly crowd was forcing its way inside the small area. As I left the temple to find my way back home…my legs failed to give me company. My heart was longing to have yet another darshan of this aarti….tears were my only companion. An unending surge of tears welled up my eyes. With no one to question why they ever come out – the only answer being – Sheer Joy! I could not relate to anyone outside the temple as I went back home. I was in a total different world. As I stumbled back home…I decided to find equanimity with the Ganges. At that point of time, the river was the only companion I could relate to and wanted to share something with.

As I see the river from amidst huge walls, in the Hanuman Ghat - The moonlight was shining proudly on the still Ganges. The boats were parked calmly on the shores. Money makers, all silently nestled in their respective homes. Everything seemed so immobile. The city seemed to be resting after tending to the ever wanting crowd of people. The Ganges seemed orphaned, except of course – the only ones who gave Her company were the dead. The fire in Harishchandra Ghat still continued to burn, and now with even more force and strength. What a view that was from the Hanuman Ghat….the fire was high up, soaring into the open space, in all fury…It is indeed true, that the “Fire in Varanasi, never ceases to burn”……..The evening winds only made sure they blew very well.

It was a sight to see – Huge flames on the shore of the silvery Ganges – Where on one side, Life seemed to be sleeping – And on the other side, Death was awake burning to nothing! I felt in perfect harmony with the divine. This is what I call the final destination of life – Death or Varanasi? I still don't decipher. However, my views and feelings towards this strange city – that projects itself to everyone in a multi faceted fashion – are never ending and I want to be there more and more….is all that I know of. What would I do there? Clean the streets? Be a priest? Work in a bank? Play the role of a journalist? Guard the wood that needs to be burnt? Kindle the dead, as they burn? Or be the veritable dead one?