Straight Talk, September 2008

Remember the HIV basics

Straight Talkers,

•HIV is a virus. A person with HIV has the virus in all their body fluids but most concentrated in their blood, semen and/or vaginal fluids.

Do you want a job? If you are aged 18-21 and speak and write Lukonzo, Ateso, Kupsabiny, Lugbara or Madi, send

•HIV infection leads to AIDS. HIV cannot be removed from the body. Its multiplication can only be controlled by ARVs. •To prevent HIV, we need to change how we think about sex. For example, boys do not need sex, and if they start having sex, they do not need more than one sexual partner.

your CV to PO Box 22366 Kampala.

Vo

08

mber 20

9. Septe l. 14 No.

Read more HIV basics next month!

Teens with disability s t h g i r e v a h “People ignore me even when it is an important issue to the whole community. Nobody asks for my opinion. They think I do not reason because I move in a wheelchair.” Faridah Nandawula 19, S5, Masaka SS

Like Faridah, many young people are living with disabilities. They are often mistreated and denied what a child without a disability may get.

If so, remember those feelings before you laugh, tease or mistreat someone who is living with a disability. Empathise People with disabilities have rights to be respected just like you do. Take action and support them. Make a difference in their lives. Go out of your way to support them. They need empathy and not sympathy.

Sympathy is a kind of useless pity. In contrast, empathy is putting yourself in the shoes of others and trying to truly understand how they feel. Choose not to • tell jokes about them • stare at them • exploit them sexually.

Like any other child, a teenager with disabilities has a right to education, health, food, clean environment, to socialize and be listened to People with disabilities (PWDs) are human like you They love and want to be loved. It is important to treat them the way you would love to be treated. Make friends with them.

If you are disabled, you have a right to respect. Do not have self-pity. Be determined and study hard. Many disabled people have ha made it in life.

Aidat Nabukalu is deaf

We e are all different in some way. For more on disability, contact: -- she cannot hear at all -It could be because of tribe, class •NUDIPU, PO Box 8567, Plot yet she was the first runner up or economic income. Now think 530, Kisaasi Rd, Kampala. for Miss Uganda in 2004-5. She about a time when you were •Uganda Society for says she has an inner inspiration to treated badly because you are Disabled Children, PO Box attempt all those things that people different. How did it feel? Did it 16346, Plot 1 Kanjokya St, without disabilities try to do. leave you with bad memories, Kampala. anger or sadness?

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In the village, women who speak out are often said to be rumour mongers or behaving like "men". How can a woman make suggestions without being seen as too assertive and not womanly? Does your mother openly offer ideas? What happens? Tell us the story. What about your Dad? Is he a ruler or leader for you?

Send letters to PO Box 2236 6, Kampala.

“People call me ‘Kolobba’ and ‘Butcherman’ because I have a problem with my leg from polio. But I get love at home and my friends treat me well. I want to be a lawyer or teacher. I have sexual feelings like any other adolescent. I manage them by avoiding the person I have feelings for.” Nabwami Rosette, 16, S2, Misanvu SS, Masaka

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Straight Talk, September 2008

Teens with disability have dreams too Do to others as you would have them do to you. Include classmates with disabilities in games when possible.

“We are four children. My family thinks that because I am deaf, I cannot be useful. They do not want to waste money on me and do not give me what I need for school. My brothers and sisters get everything they need. ” Kwizera, 19, Masaka School for Children with Special Needs

Second, we can encourage adolescents with disabilities to enrol and stay in school. Government has secondary schools for students with disabilities, including.

Yes, life can be harsh for teens with disabilities. Uganda has about 1,200,000 disabled young people of whom only 10,236 attend secondary or vocational school. Negris Onen is Principal Education Officer for Special Needs Education at the Ministry of Education. He says: "Severely mentally-disabled teens are taught skills of day to day life like dressing up, brushing their teeth and toilet manners." There is also special support for those who cannot see. "In national exams, the blind get exams in braille, (raised dots on paper with which they read with their fingers). If they are not completely blind, they can have exams written in large letters." Adds Onen: "We also have voice recordings those who cannot write.

! Temporarily able of us most Did you know that y able"? ril ra po m "te ly are on is a Yes! Each one of uswaiting. in on rs pe disabled become At anytime we can ed bl sa di permanently or an through sickness accident!

If you are disabled, your teachers only have to contact UNEB in good time to let them know what kind of disability you have, and you get an extra 30 minutes to do your exam." If you have a physical disability, you can attend any school near you as long as you can hear and see. But notes Onen sadly, the poor attitudes of other students and teachers often cause young people with disabilities to drop out.

Big challenge

For sure school can be tough for youth with disabilities. Faridah Nandawula, an S5 student in Masaka SS, was born with damaged legs. She told Straight Talk: "Students tell me that I make the

We can prevent ities most dischcarafbt built alw ays has a

wit Disability is never due to i of the Uganda Society for are jub Ka l Pau se. cau tific en es sci e most common disabiliti Disabled Children says, "Th palsy and epilepsy." ral physical disabilities, cereb ge. They sy are forms of brain dama Cerebral palsy and epilep brain lacks oxygen or is handled s laria or can happen when a baby' en the baby gets severe ma wh or th roughly during bir gitis. other infection like menin ldren abilities by protecting chi We can prevent 80% of dis d feeding children well, and an supervifrom malaria, immunising birth safely under medical making sure mothers give sion. you are , start your sexual life when ver at Girls, to prevent disability (ne it liver in a good health un in a position to always de by. Boys, take note too. ba r home) and care for you No self-pity ther cook, o "I help my m slash and wash clothes, t feel pity sweep. I do no e using lik for myself. I rumming and d , rs compute ant to be volleyball. I w person r e like any oth look who is able to es.” lv after themse , Kaliisa Gerald d e 18, S5, Bless , S S nt e m a cr a S Kimanya

so we can communicate with people who cannot hear. Sign language uses hand, head, face and eye movements to spell out words. It is interesting, can give you career opportunities and is taught at Uganda National Institute of Special Needs Education, Kyambogo.

dormitory dirty because I crawl when moving. The toilets at school are dirty. I put sandals on my hands when entering there. But my knees and clothes get dirty!"

• Kyambogo College School, Kampala (Mental retardation/ Blind) • Mvara SS, Arua (Blind) • Angal Secondary, Nebbi (Deaf) • Sir Apollo Kaggwa SS, Mukono (Blind) • Wakiso Special SS for the Deaf • Iganga SS (Blind) • Ngora School for the Deaf • St Francis SS for the Blind, Soroti • Kangole Secondary School (Blind)

How we can help

First, we can have empathy. Would you like to crawl around a toilet? Second, we can be helpful. For example, blind people often use a white stick to find where to go. If they for help to cross a road, let them hold your elbow and follow you. Do not push them ahead of you - that is very dangerous! We can also learn sign language

A

F

B

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Some sign language letters

Don't laugh, don't tease In Luganda and Ateso, words such as "kasiru" (Luganda) or "ebang" (Ateso) are used to refer to the deaf and dumb (those who cannot hear and as a result cannot speak). Unfortunately these words mean "fool". Furthermore, mothers often call their disabled children names like ‘Kisirani’, the Swahili/Luganda word meaning "misfortune". Naturally people are empathetic. But their culture and environment can make them harsh. Any child growing up where such unpleasant words are used will struggle to love, support or welcome disabled people.

You will look queer if you laugh at or mock people with disabilities. isability is seen as a bad omen to the family or community. People D with Disabilities (PWDs) are consid-

ered a source of shame. Most people are not comfortable relating with them. This influences people to avoid them and jeer at them. cultures determine how we Ourrelate with PWDs.

Treating people with disabilities in a nasty way shows that you have limited knowledge and awareness. It is not good to laugh or mock PWDs. They did not choose to be in that state. Instead assist them where possible. Monica Monge, Headteacher, Cornerstone Cor Leadership Academy for Young Women, Matugga. Cornerstone provides free education to 60 girls in A levels each year. If you are an exceptional young woman in S4 who is making a contribution to her community but cannot afford A levels, please apply. Write to Cornerstone, PO Box 9242, Kampala.

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Sex pests: a problem for disabled girls

S

exual exploitation and lack of information about sex and HIV are big problems for young people with disabilities, especially the girls.

you would never do such a thing. Sexually using girls with disabilities is wrong and undignified. You are a better person than that.

“Girls with disabilities are meant to believe that they should be grateful if anyone asks them for sex,” says Irene Mirembe, who works on HIV at National Union of Disabled Persons of Uganda (NUDIPU).

Betty Kwagala, a TASO counselor who herself has a physical disability, says that certain false beliefs make young people especially vulnerable to HIV.

A NUDIPU report says that "sex pests" often use females with disabilities at night while denying their links with them in daylight. "Some of these pests go to the extent of claiming that by having sex with them they are only helping them," notes the report with indignation. Straight Talk boys, we know that

Hey , lkers a T t h Straig er be a nev est"! "sex p

Wrong beliefs

"People assume wrongly that if someone has sex with a virgin, he will get cured of the HIV virus. This has put many disabled girls at risk since most people assume they are virgins.” Another problem is the wrong belief that disabled people do not have sex or sexual feelings. Says NUDIPU's Irene Mirembe: "Young people with disabilities are often left out from sex education because society thinks they do not have feelings or sex and so they can not get HIV. Yet everyone has sexual feelings and many young people with disabilities do have sex."

CHALLENGES & HOPE

Teenagers who cannot see or hear may not even know that there is a virus called HIV. Adolescents with disabilities may never have heard about being assertive and managing sexual feelings.

Sexual feelings are normal

Just like any adolescent, teenagers with disabilities have sexual desires. Those feelings do not mean you have to have sex. Sex feelings start in the brain. You can be the boss of those feelings. I manage my sexual feelings by reading books and listening to the music of Mesach Semakula. Nobody at home treats me badly because I am blind. I want to become an engineer," Proscovia Nantayi, 17, Misanvu SS, Masaka At Yeffe High School, Mukono, students told Straight Talk about their friends and schoolmates with disability. Some had shocking stories.

SHOCKING!

In another school I had a classmate with a short arm. When she performed poorly in mathematics, the teacher would say: “That is why God gave you one and a half hands.” Sometimes he would promise to break the arm that was normal. The girl dropped out of school because she could not stand it any more.”

Straight Talk, September 2008

A sex pest in action! Girls, shout, scream and use your stick or crutch to strike the man. You can also vomit or spit to disgust the man. Communities, come to the defence of such girls. Imagine, a blind teenager who has never seen a condom: condom instructions are not in braille. The good news is that PIASCY is now in braille for blind youth. Also, at Gulu Youth Centre, Straight Talk now gives sex and HIV education to adolescents who are deaf. "We find that they have had no opportunity to express their emotions or stress because they can't speak. They suffer quietly in fear of going to health centres," says GYC chief counselor Denis Akena, who taught himself sign language. Adds Charles Arum, another

Speak out for PWDs Straight Talkers, help teens with disability get HIV/sex education from a senior woman teacher, PIASCY, Straight Talk or NGO near you. Speak out if a disabled youth being abused. The most-at-risk are the physically and mentally-disabled girls who are left alone at home in the day. Tell the LC or police if unscrupulous people use them sexually. By the way, boys are too sexually abused.

GYC counselor who knows sign language: "They need a lot of HIV awareness but they are also very determined."

A nurse uses sign language to explain the importance of delaying sex to a boy who cannot hear well.

WOW, MEXICO! Two Straight Talk staff attended the world AIDS meeting t. in Augus t We learn that we must do more to control HIV in urban A cartoon ofin Mexico, Africa. adolescents Latin The a country in great str uggle ith w a s! ic er Am st continue va so wealth but al poverty.

We refuse to mistreat disabled youth Namuyomba Betty, 17, S3 Editor: Such a teacher should be dismissed. We stay with a deaf boy whose mother has neglected him. Neighbors do not want him to play with their children. They say that their children may end up deaf. Yet that is not true. Mukae Moreen 17, S5. Editor: You are right. Deafness is not contagious. Educate your neighbours.

One evening I was going to the market. I met a group of boys gang raping a lame girl. The girl was crying helplessly. She could not fight back. I got a stick and hit the boy who was on her. They ran away and left her crying. Karugaba Kennedy, 18, S5. Editor: That is good Kennedy. That girl needed PEP to protect her from HIV. Shame on those boys.

A friend of mine got paralysed from the waist down to the legs. But she gets all the love that she needs and this has helped her continue with her studies. Let's avoid discriminating people with disabilities because we are all equal. Neumbe Sylvia 21, S5. Editor: Thanks for those fine words. Maybe you could train as a special needs teacher.

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Straight Talk, September 2008

Dear

SYFA P. O . Bo x 22 36 6 K A M P A L A

Ndagire Sumaya, S3,

Neumbe Sylivia and Najjuma Shamim, S5, Yeffe High School in Seeta, Mukono. They read this ST before we printed it and advised us.

Your questions answered by Beatrice Bainomugisha, STF Counselor,

Pores in condoms

I heard that the condom has tiny pores through which the HIV can enter. Is this true? Amin B, 15, Comboni Comp College, Moyo No, Amin, it is not true. Condoms are made to guard against HIV and other STIs and pregnancy. They do this prevention well for those who follow instructions and use them every time. They do not have pores through which the virus can pass.

Dad and me

My dad got a new wife after separating with my mum. Since then he does not want to take me to school. This term I was lucky because some friends of his advised him to bring

me back. But he sent me to school without anything, not even soap. What can I do? AE, S4, Masindi High School My dear AE, sorry about your situation. Two things seem to be happening: First your father seems to have a negative attitude towards you resulting from his separation with your mother. Secondly you seem to have a negative attitude towards your dad and his new wife (your step mother). The two of you need to talk things over and sort out your feelings. Get family friends to guide a talk between you and your father.

I told her and she said she had a boyfriend. I cannot get her out of my mind. It is over a year now and I have been patient but there is no sweet success. Editor, I love her. KD,19, Kinoni Integrated SS, Masaka KD, it is common to love someone who does not love you. We know it hurts, but one full year is too long for you to hope that she will return your love. She loves someone else. Would you like to have your lover loving two people? Turn your thoughts away from her. Do not become a nuisance to her or yourself. Give yourself time to get over her.

She loves someone else

Washing the vagina

There is a girl I love in our school.

PEP: No more HIV after rape!

Enough is enough. Let’s have no more HIV after rape. Straight Talkers, if you are forced into sex, do not sit in fear that you have been infected. Go straight to a health unit and ask for PEP. This stands for Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP). These are ARVs which prevent the HIV from taking root in your body. Go as fast as possible, preferably within the first 24 hours after the rape. Make PEP your priority. Then go to police. Under government policy, PEP is free at Mulago, district hospitals and health centres with ARVs. You can also get it at Naguru Teenage Centre, Joint Clinical Research Centre, Gulu Youth Centre and TASO.

If I wash my vagina with soap, will

How to tell my girlfriend I have HIV

I am HIV positive and I have a girlfriend who is HIV negative. We go to different schools but when we meet she pressures me to have sex. We have never had sex before and I do not want to infect her. Now I have resorted to dodging appointments that we make to meet. I love and trust this girl. I do not want to lose her. My mother tells me I should tell her my HIV status but I am confused, I do not know how to start. Please help me. I am worried. AR, 17, Dokolo Progressive School AR, you are so great! You have true love for your girlfriend and would hate to infect her. Your mother is right. Open up and disclose to your girlfriend that you have HIV. Being open will set your mind free and prepare you for your girlfriend’s reaction. Visit a counselor together to help with the disclosure.

Write in and win OR discuss in your club

sex with men like those in 27-45? Straight Talkers, help the L Midadi, 16 students of Mayira Modern SS, Why do boys use us for a short Box Mbiriizi. Best letters to PO time? J Nanyonyo,16 22366 Kampala win prizes. I humbly want to know if I play sex Mayira SS, we will visit you in for only one time can I 2009! get AIDS? Why do girls remove pregnancy when Y Najjuma, 16 they are still studying? H Namuli, 15 Why do I have rash near my vagina when I am still a virgin girl? D Namutebi, 17 If I use a condom, can my virginity break? Z Nalunkuse, 16 Why do girls leave their level and have

New youth working for YOU at Straight Talk We are proud to announce our new host for the English Straight Talk radio show. (Charmaine has gone to campus. Good luck, baby!) The new presenter is Ivan Tendo, 20, is a first year at Kyambogo University, studying guidance and counseling. He says: “I was in a relationship but it ended when I realised my feelings for the girl were not romantic though we are still friends. Also, pursuing my ambitions left me little

it affect me? Ayamo P, Kamod Township SS, Soroti The vagina has the ability to clean itself if it is not interfered with. The non-smelling normal vagina discharge is what helps to clean it. If you wash it with soap (especially medicated ones like dettol, mekako, asepso, protex), you risk destroying the positive bacteria which keep the vagina safe from infections like candida. So Ayamo, do not use soap inside the vagina and do not push fingers inside your vagina to wash it. They too can cause infection.

time. I am a gospel artist besides my work at Straight Talk. My radio show is on 17 stations so it is a big responsibility. Please listen, write in and tell me how I am doing. ” We are also thrilled to announce that Princess Nuru Kisitu, 22, is now helping to answer your letters. Princess is also studying counseling and guidance: She says: “I have been in a relationship for two years. We are abstaining and always advise each other on how to get over difficult circumstances. I am new to Straight Talk but enjoying it.”

LUB STAR ST pC rehensive,

m Rackoko Co ks for your n a Th PADER: es. rs and stori e w s n a a’s condom m ing you Oba We are send m Youth Centre gu t’s a book and Kit in 2009. Tha u will visit yo mise. pro CALLING MUKURA MEMORIAL KUMI Hi, Francis Omesa. We got your letter. Thanks. We will check with your post office to find out why your Straight Talks are delaying. YFRIEND R GIRL/BO ST O F H C T A W NOV LET TERS IN t L awrence, S f o a J Kunihir nge, you win Kamwe our book for y Obama’s agree. Open letter. We on and honour ati communic the key. are

STRAIGHT TALK FOUNDATION: Plot 4 Acacia Avenue, Kololo, P. O. Box 22366, Tel: 0312-262030, 0312-262031, 0414-530088 Kampala (U), Fax: 0414-534858, E-mail: strtalk@straight-talk. or.ug, [email protected], Web: www.straight-talk.or.ug Director: C. Watson, Communication Director: T. Agutu, Editorial Manager: E. Kimuli, Editors: G. Awekofua, M. Akello, D. Agaba, J. Abongowath. Designers: G.B Mukasa, M.eB Kalanzi, A.B Dentine Funded by DANIDA, DFID, SIDA, Printer: The New Vision