Shooting Star

Shooting Star by Angie M. Cresencio

I

“I know that you can’t give me your heart but at least let me help you carry your burden and let me be by your side.” That was what he said before he left me tucked in under my sheets in my room. Grief. I heard it clearly though it was quite unnoticeable. It touched his voice as soon as the words were spoken. He brushed away a lock of hair from my face before finally resigning and closed the door behind him. I listened for his foot steps to die away before sitting up. Without any warning, tears sprang out from my eyes. They kept on coming even though I tried very hard to stop them. My heart was pounding so violently that my chest hurt. My head hurt and it felt so heavy. My limbs ached everywhere. I couldn’t really point out where the pain was coming from. I silently sobbed in my bed while I huddled with this unfathomable pain. This was what I get for being too selfish. Now I knew why my momma always said that, “One can be greedy yet don’t expect to feel good about oneself”. I finally got the grasp of it. Jaden. He didn’t deserve to be hurt and to be treated like this. Stupid feelings! Stupid heart! Dummy! Fool! These words weren’t enough to describe how dumb I had been. I was even dumber since I couldn’t directly reprimand myself. Who was I fooling? I was the biggest pea-brained person ever alive ever since the birth of the earth... “Enough!” I shouted at myself. Realizing what I was doing, I jumped from the bed and headed through the door. But just when I thought I successfully did it, my right foot caught something that made me shove my face right at my door. “Shit.” I grimaced as another pain rubbed in my forehead. Just my lucky day. I inherited my clumsiness from my mother. I’m not always clumsy like my momma used to be but it surfaced during times like these. Unfortunate hand-me-down trait as I used to call it. I forced myself back to my feet again as I try not to stumble into anything again. I used the walls as my support as I made my way to the bathroom. I immediately went for the sink and splashed ice-cold water on my face. Then I lightly slapped my face with both hands. “Wake up. Wake up. Che-alli,” I whispered to myself as I looked into the mirror. A bronze-haired girl with pale skin and deep chocolate brown big eyes met my gaze. Che-alli. Just the sound of it made my lip curve a little upward. That’s what my poppa used to call me. That had been my pet name since ages ago. Che-alli for Cherubim Allison. Funny how they mistook me for an angel which I was totally not. My momma named me Allison for noble and exalted in French and German. A fitting name for the looks like mine and poppa she used to say. I admit I looked a lot like him. I got all my physical attributes from him except for my eyes which I got from momma. I remembered poppa’s face glowed as he called them the eyes of the observer. Now, my smile spread across my face. I could still see their love for each other. I wonder if I could find the same magic they found with each other. I sometimes wonder if I would be able to especially now with the things with Jaden. Darn! I remembered it again. I needed to get out from this suffocating air from time to time or I would really choke from it. With that held in thought, I fished my jacket and scarf out from my cabinet. I rushed to my door and stairs and finally to the main door of the dormitory. I stood just outside the gate when I took in a mouthful of air and let it filled my lungs a second longer than usual and released it slowly. Ah, it felt good. I could feel the cold wind on my face which was refreshing and it was easing the pain a little bit.

I started my way to the park, my favorite place in this city. New Orleans. This place was not really what you could call your dream city but I loved it the same. Studying in Tulane University was one of the achievements I was truly proud of since I had been aiming to study here. My parents wanted me to achieve my dreams though I knew it hurt them when I announced I was leaving to live on my own. But they still supported me. God, how much I miss them. I could still remember when I first came here. I was like a stray cat yet I felt unusually at home. Jaden was my first friend and he helped me a lot. He helped me moved and get accustomed to the way of life here. Jaden. I really hurt him. What could I do to make the pain less painful? I really didn’t want to do this to him. I didn’t mean to mislead him. God! I love him yet it was not the kind of love he wished. I could feel the pain throbbing through me again. Just then a ball bounced in front of me. It brought me back to reality. I didn’t notice I reached the court at the end of the park. “Hey! Can you please pass the ball here?” a deep male voice said after me. I looked to where the ball rolled and found a beaten basketball near the lamp post. I picked it up and was about to throw the ball when I remembered I was not good at long distance throwing. So instead I walked to where I was standing before and threw the ball to the direction of the voice. Just then, I had a proper view of the man. He was a tall tanned boy with the most handsome face I had ever seen. I was dazed for a second. “Thanks!” That was what he said after catching the ball with his hands. His hands were strong and tanned yet he had long and slender delicate fingers. My eyes followed him as he ran toward five little boys who were too excited to get back to their game before the distraction. Then I saw him smile. Wow. What a beautiful smile. It seemed to draw me to him. Oops! What a minute missy. “I better go back,” I muttered to myself as I shook my head at my foolishness. I found the way that led back to the dormitory. I was taking my time going back and I noticed a shadow not far from the court. As I came closer, I noticed it was a little boy sitting alone on one of the tree roots. I suddenly felt the urge to approach him. I yielded to the strong force. “Hey, there! Can I sit beside you?” I said as I approached the boy. “Hmm,” he muttered as he nodded once. I noticed that he had a cute face with brown hair that made his freckles which scattered on his nose and cheeks more distinct. I saw him look at the court as the little boys gathered around the handsome boy. “Why don’t you join them? They are having a lot of fun,” I said as I watched his face. “Nah. I’m not good at sports …” his cheeks turned slightly pink as soon as his words were out. “Besides…I’m doing something here,” he said nonchalantly. Now I’m curious. I saw his eyes dimmed from green to a shade darker and his mouth turned slightly downward. Yet I tried not to be too pushy. “So…what are you doing here?” “I’m watching the stars. I’m watching for mom to pass by again.” “I’m sorry but I don’t think I get what you said.” “Look, there she is!” I looked up and I saw a shooting star crossing across the star filled evening sky. For the next hour, we talked about his family, school and astrology. He also told me how he lost his mother. He could still remember when his mom told him to look for a shooting star and to make a wish and she would be there to listen always. I got to know more about him and his cute but bizarre reactions. It was kind of unusual for a ten year old boy.

“You know what? I don’t know why I’m talking to a stranger…” he said as he looked straight into my eyes. Then with a broad smile, he added “…but I enjoyed it. Thanks.” “Well, I enjoyed it too little comet.” I grinned back. “I’m not little comet, I’m Keith. Nice to meet you even though it’s a bit late for that,” he mused as he extended his small hands. “I’m Allison but I prefer it if you call me Alli. And I’m so happy meeting such a smart boy.” I beamed at him while receiving his hand. “Well, I’ll be going now. See you again…if there’s a chance.” “I think it’s time for me to go back as well. Bye. Good night,” I said as I turned away. “Umm… Alli?” “Yes?” I looked back and saw how meek he had become. “Would you like to come to the art gallery near the Vines Café tomorrow--? T…that is if you don’t have anything to do…and if you like to of course.” After seeing the effort he made, how could I say no? “I would love to.” “That’s great! Then see you at 9:00 in the morning?” “Okay. See you tomorrow.” I walked to the dormitory without any trace of pain that I was feeling before. That had a good effect. I smiled at the encounter tonight. I kinda wished for a cute little brother like him. I changed into my powder blue pajamas and slipped under my sheets. Then, I realized how tired I was. It only took me a second before I fell into deep slumber. II “Alli!” I smiled as I approached Keith. He had been beaming since we entered the gallery. He was so cute in his khaki pants, pale yellow shirt and emerald green suspenders which matched his eyes. We looked at many paintings and sculptures in the gallery. Then, something caught my eyes somewhere in the corner. I stood in front of it. It was…magnificent. It was an oil painting of a beautiful woman in white dress pointing to the sky while sitting down on the grass. It was so beautiful. Grace and elegance radiated from the painting itself. Yet, no matter how beautiful it was, it made me so sad like my whole body crumpled from inside. My eyes flickered to the title. Shooting Star. Then I saw what the lady with long wavy brown hair was pointing at-- I was a shooting star. Then I noticed how sad her eyes were. Ah, the irony of life. The most beautiful things in the world were the loneliest as well. “…park. Well? Do you like it?” “Ah?...ummm… Yeah. It’s mesmerizing.” I totally forgot that Keith was beside me. Mesmerizing. That would describe the painting. Too bad I didn’t catch his explanation about the painting. “You think so?” I jumped from the deep voice that just joined us. I turned my head at the direction and saw him. The handsome boy, I mused. “Oh, did I scare you? I’m so sorry. It is just that when I saw Keith talking to you, I couldn’t stop myself from being intrigue.” He looked at me with sincere apologizing eyes. “Intrigue? Why? Keith is such a charming boy.”

“Yeah, he is. But he doesn’t usually talk much as well as hanging out with anybody except me.” Maybe he saw the puzzled look in my face. “Oh, forgive my manners. I’m Keith’s brother, Eric.” Then he offered his hand. “I’m Allison,” I said as I shook his hand. God, I hope he didn’t notice my hand was shaking. “But she prefers to be called Alli,” Keith said with a triumphant smile of knowing something about me that his brother didn’t. “Okay. So, I see how fond he is of you. To express my gratitude, let me invite you to a drink in the café. I’m sure Keith will love that.” I saw something in his brown eyes yet I was not too sure what to call it. “Yeah. Alli, you should really come. My brother rarely treats anyone,” Keith said as he was absolutely enjoying the company of his brother. “Well, I suppose you wouldn’t take no for an answer.” “You bet!” Keith answered while playfully elbowing his brother to lead the way. I really couldn’t remember the rest of the snacks. All I knew was Keith had done all the talking while his brother answered his questions and I pitched in to talk once in a while. Eric asked me a few questions and that was all. But what was still in my mind was Eric’s strong structure. I could see him clearly now. He had a more handsome face than what I saw last night. He had soft brown hair and thin lips. His eyes were like hot chocolate yet they were sad. So sad. “So, this is it,” Eric said after a while. The brothers had walked me up to the park. We had reached where we would have to separate. “Yeah. I’ll be going this way. Well, thanks. I really enjoyed it.” “You’re welcome. You come anytime to the gallery and we can hang out again,” Keith was still beaming as he uttered the words. “Keith, why won’t you go to the court and I’ll meet you there,” Eric said. Keith looked a bit wary for being sent away yet he still nodded and waved at us while he ran to the court. “So what will we do now?” Eric turned his attention to me. He had this playful air around him. His eyes twinkled in a mischievous way. My heart rate was increasing. I worried that he might have heard the loud banging of my heart. He slowly approached me while I retreated back. I could swear my breathing stopped when I felt the wall behind me. He placed his hand on the wall beside my face. Oh no! I was in a critical point. “W…what are you doing?” “What do you think it is?” he flashed his naughty smile as he played a lock of my hair in his hand. His other hand reached to my nape as he drew me closer to him. I couldn’t think anymore. My body was malfunctioning. No! no! no! I pushed him on time as hard as my strength could take. “What’s the problem with you?” He was obviously pissed with my rejection. “I should be asking that!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Oh, come on. This is what you want, right? You have been staring lustily at me since the beginning.” I couldn’t stop myself. It was like my hand had a mind on its own. I slapped him hard on his face. He was dumb-founded by the time I realized what happened. “Well, I’m sorry if you misread my intentions. It was a mistake meeting you.” I lashed steely at him as I stormed away. III The nerve! How could he do that? To think that I had been dazzled by him. Stupid. I had been in the library for an hour yet I only finished half of my assignment. Thanks to that jerk. I needed to concentrate. C-o-n-c-e-n-t-r-a-t-e. Argh! I couldn’t do it. I better get another distraction.

I got up from my seat and went directly to a shelf. I reached for my favorite book which was place two shelves higher than my head so I had to be on my toes. Just when I got a hold on the book, another hand got a hold of it as well. The hand was strong and tanned. Obviously, it belonged to a man who was much taller than me. I took a small step backward when I jerked at the surprising closeness of our bodies. By reflex, I looked up to the stranger and I saw the last face I would want to see. I froze. My mind and heart were in confusion. His handsome face and the warmth of his body were overwhelming. I realized I had been holding my breath all this time. “Oh,” he said as he realized it was me. That snapped me back to reality. I gave him a menacing stare. Then I turned my back abruptly away from him. I rushed out to get away as soon as I could. But he grabbed my arm from behind that made me face him. “Wait… Here. You can have this first.” He tried to give the book to me with one hand and his other hand still holding my arm. “No thanks. I don’t need it anymore,” I said coldly as I wheeled around. “Wait…” he turned me to face him again. He looked straight into my eyes. His eyes were drowning me inside them. They were suddenly naked with sincere emotions. “I’m sorry.” I didn’t expect him to apologize. He caught me off guard. His eyes were so sincere, so true that I couldn’t deny him of what he wanted. “Okay. You’re forgiven. Now, please let go of my arm. It is starting to hurt.” That was all I could say. He let go of my arm. When he didn’t reply, I looked at him. He had this “is-it-true” expression on his face. “It’s true. I forgive you.” I repeated. “Is that all?” “What do you want? I’m not someone who likes to keep grudges.” “Whew…That’s a relief. To tell you the truth, I’m bothered by my conscience on what I did. I’m so sorry. Keith won’t keep his mouth shut until I won’t apologize as well. God! It was stupid. I’m sorry.” “No more sorry’s please. That’s already three of them.” Then a faint smile touched his lips. God! He was gorgeous. “O-okay. Then let me make up for what happened.” His expression was a fusion of pleading and commanding. I really couldn’t get this guy. He seemed so torn apart at the same time in command. “How?” I tried to sound indifferent while slowly walking to my table. “Well…I know this place. I think you’ll like it there.” He followed me back. “ummm…” I looked at him. Maybe I would give it a shot. Just this once, I thought. “…okay, you’re on.” “Then, let’s go?” “Not now.” I glanced at my wristwatch. “I’ll have a class in about fifteen minutes. Sorry.” By now, I had gathered my things. “Oh? Then, how about tonight?” he said, showing me that same naughty smile he had while leaning on the table toward me. “I know I have told you that I don’t keep grudges but I can always make an exception.” I shot him a warning look. By then he laughed. His laughter sounded like music. I must be nuts. It was unnerving. It took all my courage to shoot him a dangerous look. “I-I’m sorry. You look like you’re about to snap my head off. You are really…um, interesting.” Uh-oh. If I were momma, I would have blushed by now. Luckily, I couldn’t blush. I didn’t know what to say to that so I walked toward the exit. He overtook me.

“Hey! I’m sorry. I was just kidding,” He said while still suppressing a laugh. Just then he looked like as carefree as a child. “I didn’t mean to laugh at you.” “It’s fine…really- it’s just that I need to hurry to my cl—shit! It’s raining!” I looked up while I wrinkled my nose. “Now, that’s a first,” he mused. “What?” I raised him an eyebrow. “That’s the first time I heard you curse. It’s funny it doesn’t sound like a curse at all.” There it was again, the same torn face. He was smiling yet it didn’t reach his eyes. “Well, that sure sounds weird.” I was trying to change the mood. I didn’t really like seeing him like that. “God! How am I supposed to go to class?” The rain was now pouring outside. “Well, I could give you a lift.” He beamed at me and this time, his eyes twinkled. “You brought a car?” “Nopes. But I have something more special.” Then he showed me his leather brown jacket. “Ha! Funny. So, are we going to fly with that?” “Oh, come on. You don’t want to be late do you? Beggars can’t be choosers.” He held the jacket on top of his head while motioning me to join him on the space he provided for me inside his arm. “Well? Do you have a choice?” This time, he raised his eyebrow at me. He looked boyish yet masculine. “Well, if you put it that way. You’re on!” I gave him my brightest smile. We crossed the street while finding shelter from his jacket. I held my things closer to me as we plunged on another street. Then, we stopped for a while inside a building’s lobby while we dried ourselves for a bit. “We still have four blocks more. You ready?” he said as he placed his jacket on his head again. “Roger.” We made our way laughing across two more streets in the rain. We stopped for another building’s lobby after two blocks. “God! That was fun!” I said in between my laughter. “You bet,” he was laughing with me when I saw his eyebrows frowned a little. “Hey, are you going to be okay with that?” I followed his eyes. I saw that my dress was wet from the rim up to my midthigh. “Don’t mind me. I think you should look at yourself instead,” I said while I motioned him with a nod. He looked at himself in front of the mirror in the lobby. He was wet all over except for his upper torso which the jacket covered. “Oh.” Then we laughed again. “Come on. We still have six more minutes,” he said as he looked at the clock in the lobby. We made it in the campus one minute before the time. We tried to dry ourselves with our hands. Then I turned to him. “Thanks.” I smiled at him while still trying to squeeze the water from my dress and a little from my hair. He looked at me stunned. I wonder why! At that moment, I felt like blushing which I know I couldn’t. He reached for a light green handkerchief from the inside pocket of his jacket. He wiped the water from the side of my face. He looked so warm and caring. Then suddenly he jerked as he met my eyes. “I’m sorry about that. Here. You can borrow this to dry yourself.” He handed me his handkerchief. I opened my mouth to speak when the bell rang, covering all the other sounds.

He got his cue. “See you at the park tonight at seven.” Then he waved and ran out of my sight before I could utter a word. IV “Where are you bringing me? And why do I have to be blind folded?” I demanded from him. I didn’t really like surprises. Aside from my undying curiosity, I didn’t want to dress inappropriately. I just hope I had the right dress. It took me one hour to choose my dress. I picked my aqua blue dress with small daisies lined beautifully across the hem. It also accented my eyes and hair color. I also picked my black ballerina shoes to match my black stud earrings. “Relax. I told you it’s a surprise. Besides, I’m here. You don’t have to worry,” I could almost picture him smile as he reassured me. I had been complaining about the blindfold since the beginning. “I think that’s the reason why I need to worry more since you already attacked me once.” “Har har. Funny. Just relax okay?” He said. Then I heard a creaking sound. It was like a key opening a heavy door. He led me forward. Then he stopped me before I could take my sixth step. He was easing the knot on my blindfold. “Okay. You can open your eyes now.” I looked around the place. It was a planetarium slashed observatory. We were in a big dark circular room where the stars and constellations illuminated the place. In the middle of the room, there was a high pedestal where the biggest telescope stood. “Well, what can you say?” I looked at him. “It’s awesome!” “Then, what are we waiting for? Let’s go.” He grabbed my hand as he led me to the stairs attached to the pedestal leading to the telescope. He looked tall beside me. At that time, he was a boy and he was so handsome. His face glowed. I couldn’t stop staring at him. My heart beat faster and I felt an overwhelming warmth and happiness around him. As we got to the top, a realization struck me. I felt dizzy. God, am I in love with Eric? This time, he faced me. He smiled his gorgeous smile. I felt the world spin and all I could see was him. “Alli? Are you alright?” “Y…yeah.” That’s the first. I mused. He called my name for the first time. It felt so right. His deep velvet voice still lingered in my mind. “Okay. Then, look here.” He led me to a chair and placed the lens of the telescope on my eye. He sounded boyish. Carefree and excited. So afar from the gallery encounter. “What am I looking for?” “Just wait. You will see it in a moment.” I kept scanning the sky from the telescope. Then I saw it. A shooting star. It was more beautiful at close proximity that what was usually seen by the naked eye. “Then look up there.” Eric placed his hand on my shoulder as he pointed at the ceiling, now opening to reveal the beautiful star filled night sky. I could still see the shooting star trailed away in the sky. A second later, the sky was filled with hundreds or even thousands of shooting stars diving across the sky. It was dazzling. It was the first time I saw a meteor shower. I stood up beside him while still gazing at the star show. “It’s breathtaking,” I said to him. “Yes, just like you are,” He said to me while holding my eyes with such compassion in his eyes. He leaned forward and bowed his head close to mine. Gazes still locked in place. I was melting in his eyes as dark as chocolate. His lips met mine and he kissed me. This time, I was sure. I was in love with him. With that admission, all things fell into place. With one shooting star leading the way, I could see the meteor shower of my life. That shooting star showed me the way to this new experience and to him.

V It had been a week since that night. I met with Eric and Keith thrice in the gallery and I had been alone with Eric twice. This must be what he called the happiness caused by love. Ah. Such a wonderful feeling. Yet, I was still at a loss. I didn’t know what we were. There was no confession or declaration of love or anything close to that. Suddenly, I felt a shrill run down my back. Usually, bad things happened whenever I had the shrill. The day passed by just like the normal routine. Two classes in the morning and another two in the afternoon. Nothing tragic really happened so that made me relax for a bit. Then at the corner of my eye, I saw him. Jaden. I totally forgot about him that I cringed inward out of guilt. Just then, our eyes met. I was sure of it. Yet he looked away after that. He was avoiding me. Oh, God! No! I tried to follow him to the back of the campus. This was our rendezvous where we usually hang out. Memories flashed back and that made me smile. “Jaden! Wait up,” I called to him. He stopped near the swing where we usually sit on. I caught up with him by then. “Hey. I have not seen you for more than a week. What have you been up to?” I asked. He just looked at the ground. I was sure he had on a pained expression. Oh, God! “Jaden? What’s wrong?” Still there was no answer. But I noticed when he clenched his fist. I tried to touch him on the arm. “Jaden?” “Alli, please don’t do this.” I stopped. My hand was suspended in the air. I looked at him. We just stood staring at each other. It was just for a moment yet it seemed like forever. What happened to us? The atmosphere between us was heavy and full of pain. The sense of ease and laughter between us seemed ages ago. “Alli. I think I better not see you for a while.” He first broke the ice yet I was not happy with what I heard. “W… why?” I asked as I forced to swallow my tears. “I… I saw you and hi… no, I mean. I just need time to forget you.” “Ja—” “It’s okay. I know it already yet I have blindly pursued your love. I’m stupid. I know yet I—” I could see him strained as he forced back the tears in. “Oh, Jaden. I’m so so—” “Please don’t. You don’t have to apologize. You were never mine in the first place so there’s no reason for you to pity me. More there’s no reason for me or you to cry over this.” He turned his back on me. I could see the tension formed around his shoulders and neck. Then he relaxed and inhaled. He faced me again. “Good bye for now. I promise to be back without feeling this crap anymore.” He forced an uncomfortable smile and walked away. My knees gave up on me. My eyes betrayed me. I couldn’t control the gushing of my tears anymore. I had hurt him. I had hurt him badly. My momma’s words rang again and again inside my head. “One can be greedy yet don’t expect to feel good about oneself.” If I would have known earlier how much pain it would cause, I would not have been selfish in the first place. VI Another week passed without another word from Jaden. I should give him time. That was all I could give him. I already cried my eyes out and I have failed doing a lot of things for a while. “What’s the problem? You look down and you have been tripping a lot lately.” I met two worried eyes.

“I’m okay. I’m just tired. And it’s that damn hand-me-down trait I’ve told you about.” I tried to smile yet I think I failed in that as well. But I needed to make this work. Even just this one. I must try. “Eric? I know it’s too soon but I love you and I’ll promise to be with you forever.” That was bold of me. I tried to smile at him yet his face turned stern. I couldn’t read his eyes. I froze. “Eric?” My heart started to beat faster. I tried to touch him yet he shoved my hand. “Did you really mean that?” His voice was raised a note higher. I hesitated but I nodded. “I hope you didn’t say that. Now, it is the end. Good bye.” He turned around and walked away. Now, what was that? I tried to catch up with him but he was just too fast. I couldn’t believe this. Bombs had been dropped on me one by one. Stupid. That was who I am. Stupid and Pathetic. I couldn’t think anymore. Rage got the most out of me. I dashed forward and gave him a taste of my knuckles. I hit his arm. “Ouch. What was that for? Crazy bitch…” he blurted out while caressing his right arm. That’s what you get when you make a fool out of me, I thought. “I should be asking that. Jerk!” I sneered at him. “I say I love you and you say good bye? Are you mentally retarded? I demand an explanation right now.” “You’re such a pain. But well, that means the play is over. You just ended it by saying I love you,” He said with distaste in his mouth. I swear I would have killed him if it weren’t for his eyes. I had seen similar eyes somewhere before. But I couldn’t remember. His eyes, the windows of his soul, contradicted his words and action. He left again but at that time, I didn’t dare follow him. Suddenly, I felt empty like I just had lost something very important. But I couldn’t cry. My tears had been dried up. I was just hollow inside. Everything seemed hazy. I only had vague memories of crossing the street, passing the café and entering the gallery. When I came out to my senses, I saw the painting in front of me. Shooting Star. My feet may have brought me here. I looked at the painting again. My eyes darted from the title to the star, to the hair of the lady and lastly to the lady’s eyes. Right. They were the same. It was the same as Eric’s. How could I miss it? I was so deep in thought when someone bumped into me. The impact was startling that I lost my balance and I landed on the floor. When I looked up, a pair of green eyes bore deep into me. My brain was slow to register Keith’s face. Keith! But I was too slow. He was already running toward the park. I scrambled back to my feet and followed him. I finally found him. He was in his usual place by the tree roots near the court. He buried his face on his knees as his shoulder shook. “Keith, what’s wrong? You can tell me,” I said as I sat beside him and placed my hand on his shoulder. He still didn’t reply. I carefully lifted his head so that he could face me. His eyes were filled with tears. He hugged me tight as I hugged him back. It broke my heart to see him like this. After half an hour of stifled sobs and comforting pats, he started talking. He accidentally found a picture of his mother together with another man. For weeks, he tried to ask his father about it yet he only got either a cold shoulder or a pissed look. This morning when I was talking to Eric, he approached his father again who was drunk at that time. He got his father talking and got his answer. Yet it was like being poured with ice-cold water he told me. “Alli…h…how could mom do that? She got herself killed in a car accident while running away with a stranger.” Tears were forming in his eyes again while he was hugging himself from the harsh truth. “Shhh…” That was all I could say as I patted his hair. There was no justification on what his mother did. “Al…all this time. Now I know why brother hates mom. My brother knows all this time. That’s why he is like this.” “What do you mean?” I asked as I recalled the encounter earlier.

“My brother hates women. He just plays with them. But he’s been hurt too much…” Tears were now streaming out of his emerald eyes. “He has been like that since the beginning?” Disbelief was in my voice. “No… H…he changed after Lizie and him broke up. That’s the name of his first girlfriend. He said she was unfaithful to him. Though I really don’t understand what that means. B…but my brother changed after that. That’s why I hate mom as well.” His eyes were dry by now. Now I understood everything. I couldn’t just let this end. I needed to clarify something. So I talked Keith out of hating his mom and told him instead to help his brother. He was more than willing to help. For the next hour, we planned for the evening surprise. We parted feeling like we became each other’s accomplice. That was a fulfilling feeling somehow. VII “Keith, where are you taking me?” Eric demanded from his little brother. “It’s a surprise. You’re not supposed to complain. You should be excited. Besides, I told you, it’s a surprise,” Keith reprimanded his older brother as he pulled Eric forward. “Wait a minute. Why are we in the observatory? Keith…Is there something you’re not telling me?” “Hey! That is not fair. It is supposed to be a surprise. It is not bad so don’t accuse me of being a liar,” Keith said defiantly while crossing his arms across his chest. I giggled quietly as I peaked from inside. Keith was a natural. I loved the little kid. I heard Eric laugh. “Okay buddy. You win. Now, let’s get this over with,” Eric said as he patted Keith. That was my cue. I crawled back inside to my position while waiting for them. I heard the door creaked as it opened. I saw their shadows. I heard Keith instructed his brother to walk to where the spotlight was. Eric followed him. Now, I saw a handsome guy being where he was supposed to be: in the middle of the spot light! He was like a god. I was dazzled again. On my cue, Keith left the two of us alone. I turned on another switch which lighted the grand piano I placed not far from the pedestal. I could clearly see the startled look on Eric’s face. It made me smile. He was still so charming. I walked to the piano wearing my navy blue fairy dress. I called it a fairy dress since I felt like being a mystical being whenever I wear that dress. I needed all the good luck charms tonight cause I wanted this night to be special. I positioned myself on the piano seat. Then I looked at my only audience. Surely he didn’t expect to see me. I smiled at him and I started playing a soft melody. I was glad to have poppa’s passion for music. I looked at Eric again. He seemed to get his composure back. I smiled at him again. “I know you don’t want to see me anymore but I want to give you my first and last gift. Please do enjoy this.” I started to play “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t love you” by Belinda Carlisle. I loved the song and it was just the message I wanted to say to him. I sent him a telepathic message saying, ‘This is what is in the core of my heart’. Then I began singing the two stanzas I loved in the song. It's been building up for quite sometime Something had to break But to just end it all like this Would be the worst mistake I know I don't wanna live without you I know exactly what you mean to me And I believe that inside, we still hold the key I wouldn't be here if I didn't love you I wouldn't be here if I didn't care

I wouldn't waste your time or my time in a love that's going nowhere With this, I ended my song. I stood up facing him. I held my breath before speaking. “So, I guess this is it. Let’s make it a clean break up. Turn me down properly, okay?” I tried to smile. It seemed awkward yet I did it. I gave him my brightest smile. He just stood motionless for a while. Then he uttered, “Okay.” He walked toward me. God! I couldn’t take this anymore. I turned around. I couldn’t face him anymore. If I ever see his face again, I may not want to let go. This is for the best, I told myself. “Please turn this way,” he whispered so quietly I barely could hear. I faced him again. I tried to smile but by then his hand was on the side of my face. My smile wavered. I stifled the tears yet it came gushing out of my eyes-- unable to stop. I tried to break free from his grasp yet he held fast. “Please…Let me—” I stopped. I felt dizzy. “I…I’m not your mother or your first girlfriend…” my lips trembled. My chest was heavy. Breathing became a labor. “I know,” he said as he caressed my face. I looked at him and he kissed me. “W…why?” I muttered. But before I could say anything else, he kissed me again. Then he hugged me tight. His arms around my waist while his hands interlocked. Then he smiled. “I know.” He repeated. Now looking at me, his face turned serious. “You are very different from them. I’m—I’m just afraid. I’m sorry. I was being a coward.” He rested his chin on top of my head and tightened his embrace. “You have been honest with me since the very beginning. From the moment you slapped me until tonight when you are opening your heart to me.” I looked at him feeling as puzzled as ever. “I decided to trust you. I want to give this a try. I. want. to. share. the. rest. of. my. days. with. you.” “Oh. Good,” I said as I lay my head on his chest. The ceiling above us opened up at the exact time I set it to. Let this be forever. I wished as a shooting star passed by. END.