Prompt 1

As the sun rises each workday, many people have their morning rituals. Shower, breakfast, brushing teeth, watching the news, reading the paper, checking facebook. Donna's morning ritual consists of pushing the snooze button on her alarm clock a few times, shower, brush her teeth, dress and head out. She does this as quickly as possible. It usually takes less than half an hour. Pretty impressive, huh? She has a reason for this. Technically, four reasons. First, "Joe Mamma's Coffee Shop". Donna doesn't care for coffee, but they have the best tea and pastries. The second, third and fourth reasons Donna rushes out the door are the three employees she encounter at Joe Mamma's. It's worth the price of tea, just to get a show every morning. Donna finds an open parking meter and deftly parks her new hybrid between two SUVs. She carefully exits the car and tip toes towards the door of the coffee shop. The streets in this part of town are made of bricks. High heels and uneven surfaces do not mix. Donna maneuvers to the relatively flat sidewalk. She looked up at Joe Mamma's. "It's amazing", she thought "that this used to be a candy factory." Indeed, this particular building had many different incarnations: Candy factory, Hardware store, pharmaceutical warehouse. It's bricks are crumbling and the windows have years of caked-on grime. The bottom floor smells of coffee and pastries by Joe Mamma's. They constructed a small patio that has 4 small tables outside and there are about a dozen small bistro tables inside. The interior walls are also made of brick and the air conditioner works intermittently. "Hey! Morning, Steve" Donna calls out as she walks in the door. Steve waves at her with a smile, then turns back to the gentleman trying to read the paper and enjoy his coffee. She caught only the end of the conversation "So, that's why I totally think that guy wasn't acting alone. How can one guy kill 8 people?" "Um, a semi-automatic?" the patron replied. he stood up and tucked the newspaper under his arm. "I gotta go to work. " "The usual?" Donna turns her head to see the beautiful cashier smiling. Melody's smile is never absent. "Am I that predictable?" Donna asks with a smile. "Yeah, give me the usual" She leans against the pastry display as she waits for her tea. Steve wipes down the table he just drove a customer away from and approaches her. "Hey, um, Donna. Do you want to do lunch today?" Steve whispers. "Well, I'm meeting another friend for lunch today" she replied. Donna meets her oldest friend for lunch once a month or so. "Ah, that's cool. They can come too" Steve playfully punches her in the arm. "Um, okay. We planned to go to the Noodle Bowl. Is that cool with you?" she inquires, hoping he would be allergic to wheat. "Of course! That rocks. It's just the three of us, right? No one else?" Steve asks as he looked around the coffee shop. "Yeah, just the three of us" Donna assures him. "Jesus fucking Christ! Whose job is it to clean the bathroom?" Donna cringes at the foul language. Mort is the Napoleonic owner of Joe Mamma's. At 5 feet 5 inches and about 250 pounds, he's like a bowling ball on a rampage. "This entire office could use a good douching!" Donna cautiously peers into the back office. "Hey, Mort. How are ya today?" she asks. The best way to keep Mort happy is to ask questions about him. "I'm doing okay." He never addresses Donna by name. That's because he can't remember it. "I'm really busy right now" he mutters as he looks across his desk for an excuse. COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOO! Donna looks around for the source of the noise, as Mort reaches into his pocket. Of course! His cell phone. "See? Super busy. See you later." He pushes a button on the phone and it stops taunting him "This is Mort" Donna closes the office door behind her. She heads out the door to work. "See you at the Noodle Bowl" Steve reminds her "Twelve o'clock?" Donna let out a huge sigh "Yeah, sure noon is fine. See you there" Under her

breath she mutters "Today is going to be a doozy" Steve lives in his car and refuses to have a phone- so the government can't track him. His prevailing theories are mainly about the government covering up stuff about 9/11, however, he has some awesome, just plain crazy theories about everyday items. Donna had only been to lunch with Steve once before and it went like this: "Dude, we don't need Iodized salt" he said as he leaned forward towards his lunch companions. "Iodine just makes humans less aggressive and more docile" Donna tried not to roll her eyes as Steve looked right and left for someone listening. "The fucking government wants to control us" he whispered anxiously. He suddenly lightened up and starting talking like a normal person "That's why I bring" he reached into the abyss that is his backpack and pulled out a curious looking grinder "my own salt!" Steve declared proudly. "Sea salt, I grind it myself" Steve held the utensil over his plate and salted his pasta. "Want some?" he gestured to his companions. "um, no thanks. I'm good." Donna said trying to contain her hysterical laughter. She knew he would not appreciate it. According to Steve, the fluoride in toothpaste is also a complete conspiracy to keep people docile. Steve once went on a rant in a busy downtown park: "Look at this seemingly harmless tube of bubblegum flavored toothpaste!" Steve cried as he held the tube over his head. "Do you want to protect your children from harm?" He pointed at a nice preppy blonde pushing a stroller "You! Ma'am! Do you want to raise happy, healthy self-reliant children?" She tried to ignore him, but he continued "Then keep the fluoride out of their system!" He raised his voice louder "Fluoride is poison!" After the "Fluoride is poison" speech, Steve's manager at the coffee shop, Mort put his foot down in a closed-door meeting. "Goddammit, Steve!" Mort starts to berate him as he paced back and forth across his office. "You could at least take off your uniform before ranting to the entire city!" Mort pounds his right fist into the palm of his left hand. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" without waiting for a response Mort continues "Jesus Christ! Do you know how this looks for us?" Again, not waiting for an answer "Steve, you know I like you, but you have to stop this craziness-" Steve cut him off "Do you think I'm crazy?" Steve gasps as he looks up at Mort. "Yeah. Yes, I do think you're crazy, Steve" Mort puts his hands on his waistline "Sometimes you're a cool guy, but today you are a crazy motherfucker. Get the hell out of my office until I can decide what to do with you" Mort points at the door. Steve stands up, incredulous. "Mort, I don't know if we can get along with me knowing you think I'm crazy." Steve walks to the window and peeks out through the blinds. "What are you looking at, Steve?" Mort asks carefully "Nothing!" As he steps away from both the window and Mort. Mort took a step towards Steve. "Steve, are you going to cool it with the conspiracy theories? You're freaking out Melody" "Nope. I am who I am and I will say what I believe" Steve crosses his arms on his chest. "Then, get the hell out of here. You're fired!" Mort relishes firing people. "I don't ever want to see your sorry face around here again." after Steve storms out of the coffee shop and let the door slam behind him Mort shouted "Melody! Have you seen my bacon?" An attractive young woman peers into the manager's office. "What Mort? Your bacon? No. Should I have seen it? I'm sure I can find it" she bounces back into the shop. Mort leaves his office and finds Melody crouching behind the counter, pushing paper coffee cups out the way. "What are you doing?" Melody's actions are always curious to Mort, but she's great

with customers, so he keeps her around. "She isn't bad to look at either", he thought. Indeed, Melody has an exotic look- dark hair, dark eyes, olive skin. Mort forgot what he was doing "What do you do to keep that figure?" He immediately realized his mistake, but being a proud man, he decided to roll with it "Sports?" He tried to ask innocently. "I'm on the tennis team and I used to run cross-country track" she bites her fingernail "That is, until I injured my hammy" She points at the back of her bare leg. "Does she have any idea what she's doing?" Mort wonders silently. "Tennis" she continues "is my passion! I wanna be Serena Williams someday. No, Venus. um, whichever is doing better right now. I can't remember." She giggled and shook her head. "Our tennis team is going to State! I completely forgot to tell you before, thanks for reminding me. I need next weekend off. That's cool, right? Mort?" Mort's brain processed a little slower than a high school student. "Um, sure. Steve can cover it" Mort blurts out before realizing what he had done earlier in anger. "Shit. I fired Steve" Melody nods her head. "I know. You did the right thing. He was kinda crazy." She pats Mort's shoulder. "But I know something that might cheer you up" Mort looks into her playful eyes. "Oh yeah?" He can't help but think dirty thoughts. "Mort, you are a pervert" he said to himself. "Yeah! Steve is packing up his belongings in his car. It's parked on Robinson. I'm sure it will take him a little while. Maybe you can go get him back." Mort's too stubborn and hard headed to go un-fire someone and that's exactly what he tells Melody. "Let me do it! I love to give good news!" She hops up and down and clasps her hands under he chin "Pleeeeeeeease?" How can a man resist that? "Okay, sure." Make sure he knows I'm looking for his replacement and if he makes one" Mort holds up one finger "crazy move, he's outta here!" Melody squeals with delight. "Awesome! Be right back" She throws her apron on the counter and bolts out the door. Mort heaves a huge sigh "Now, where's my bacon?"***END OF FILE***Nervous and suspicious: conspiricy theory Steve. Steve lives in his car and refuses to have a phone- so the governemnt can't track him. His prevailing theories are mainly about the government covering up stuff about 9/11, however, he has some awesome just plain crazy theories about everyday items. 1. Table salt. "Dude, we don't need Iodozed salt" he said as he leaned forward towards his lunch companions. " Iodine just makes humans less agressive and more docile" She tried not to roll her eyes as Steve looked right and left for someone listening. "The fucking government wants to control us" he whispered anxiously. He suddenly lightened up and starting talking like a normal person "That's why I bring" he reached into the abyss that is his backpack and pulled out a curious looking grinder "my own salt!" Steve delared proudly. "Sea salt, I grind it myself" Steve held the utensil over his plate and salted his pasta. "Want some?" he gestured to their plates. "umm, no thanks. I'm good." she said trying to contain her hysterical laughter. She knew Steve would not appreciate it. 2. Toothpaste. The flouride in toothpaste is also a complete conspiricy to keep people docile. Steve once went on a rant downtown: "Look at this seemingly harmless tube of bubblegum flavored toothpaste!" Steve cried as he held the tube over his head. "Do you want to protect your children from harm?" He pointed at a nice preppy blonde pushing a stroller "You! Ma'am! Do you want to raise happy, healthy self-reliant children?" She tried to ignore him, but he continued "Then keep the flouride out of their system!" He raised his voice louder "Flouride is poision!" After the "Flouride is poision" speech, Steve's manager at the coffee shop, Mort

put his foot down in a closed-door meeting. "Goddamnit, Steve!" Mort started as he paced back and forth across his office. "You could at least take off your uniform before ranting to the entire city!" Mort pounded his right fist into the palm of his left hand. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" without waiting for a response Mort continued "Jesus Christ! Do you know how this looks for us?" Again, not waiting for an answer he continued with his rant "Steve, you know I like you, but you have to stop this craziness-" Steve cut him off "Do you think I'm crazy?" Steve gasped as he looked up at Mort. "Yeah. Yes, I do think you're crazy, Steve" Mort put his hands on his waistline "Sometimes you're a cool guy, but today you are a crazy motherfucker. Get the hell out of my office until I can decide what to do with you" Mort pointed at the door. Steve stood up, incredulous. "Mort, I don't know if we can get along with me knowing you think I'm crazy." Steve walked to the window and peeked out through the blinds. "What are you looking at, Steve?" Mort asked trepidatiously "Nothing!" Steve said as he stepped away from both the window and Mort. Mort took a step towards Steve "Steve, are you going to cool it with the conspiricy theories? You're freaking out Melody" "Nope. I am who I am and I will say what I believe" Steve crossed his arms on his chest. "Then, get the hell out of here. You're fired!" Mort relished firing people. "I don't ever want to see your sorry face around here again." after Steve stormed out of the coffee shop and let the door slam behind him Mort shouted "Melody! Have you seen my bacon?" An attractive young woman peered into the manager's office. "What Mort? Your bacon? No. Should I have seen it? I'm sure I can find it" she bounced back into the shop. Mort left his office and found Melody crouched behind the counter, pushing paper coffee cups out the the way. "What are you doing?" Melody's actions were always curious to Mort, but she was great with customers, so he decided he'd keep her around. She wasn't bad to look at either, he thought. Indeed, Melody had an exotic look, dark hair, dark eyes, olive skin. Mort forgot what he was doing "What do you do to keep that figure?" He immediately realized his mistake, but being a proud man, he decided to roll with it "Sports?" He tried to ask innocently. "I'm on the tennis team and I used to run cross-country track" she bit her fingernail "That is, until I injured my hammy" She pointed at the back of her bare leg. "Does she have any idea what she's doing?" Mort thought. "Tennis" she continued "is my passion! I wanna be Serina Williams someday. No, Venus. umm, whichever is doing better right now. I can't remember." She giggled and shook her head. "Our tennis team is going to State! I completely forgot to tell you before, thanks for reminding me. I need next weekend off. That's cool, right? Mort?" Mort's brain processed a little slower than a high school student. "Umm, sure. Steve can cover it" Mort blurted out before realizing what he had done earlier in anger. "Shit. I fired Steve" Melody nodded her head. " I know. You did the right thing. He was kinda crazy." She patted Mort on the shoulder. "But I know something that might cheer you up" Mort looked into her mischevious eyes "Oh yeah?" He couldn't help but think dirty thoughts. "Mort, you are a pervert" he said to himself. "Yeah! Steve is packing up his belongings in his car. It's parked on Robinson. I;m sure it will take him a little while. Maybe you can go get him back." Mort was too stubborn and hard headed to go un-fire someone and that's exactly what he told Melody. "Let me do it! I love to give good news!" She hopped up and down and clasped he hands under he chin "Pleeeeeeeease?" How can a man resist that?

"Okay, sure." Make sure he knows I'm looking for his replacement and if he makes one" Mort held up one finger "crazy move, he's outta here!" Melody squealed with delight. "Awesome! Be right back" She threw her apron on the counter and bolted out the door. Mort heaved a huge sigh "Now, where's my bacon?"