Lapuran Berkaitan Dengan Kewaja Di Nst 2008

Kewaja director Yahya Yusof having a counselling session with a group of pregnant girls. — Picture by Amirudin Sahib

Teenage pregnancies are on the rise and many mums-to-be are estranged from their families. However, AUDREY VIJAINDREN learns that there are shelters willing to provide a family environment in which to bring a child into the world PREGNANCY is a scary experience for any unwed mother, but more so for a teenager. In dealing with feelings of fear, anger, disappointment and confusion, many pregnant teenagers resort to the easiest and fastest way out of their predicament — abortion. Unaware that there are other options, young girls choose to handle the problem on their own, under frighteningly dangerous conditions, sometimes in the back room of clinics. Are they evil? Are they killers? No, they are just frightened teenagers looking for a way out of a scary predicament. Cindy and baby. — Picture by Sobri Sudin

What they don’t know is that there are many shelters willing to help them get through this experience, give them a second chance at life and give their babies the right to live. For instance, in a small housing area in Gombak, a married couple is housing pregnant teenagers who have nowhere else to turn. The couple clothe and feed them, and, more importantly, they provide the emotional support needed to get single girls through pregnancy. When the New Sunday Times visited Kursus Asas Pembangunan Integriti Wanita Dan Moral Insan (Kewaja) last Wednesday, there were 60 pregnant teenagers living in the houses. Most were students between the age of 16 and 23. “Many of the teenage girls who come to us are at the lowest point of their lives. They don’t know where to

turn to and whom to talk to. “In the past six months alone, we have taken in 164 pregnant women. Some as young as 14, others as old as 40. “Most walk into our centre on their own but some are brought here by their boyfriends or parents,” said Kewaja director Yahya Yusof. “When we started in 1996, we had 101 girls. But every year since then this number has increased. It is not a disease and it is not an epidemic. Teenage pregnancy is a social disaster. “Some of the girls come to us because their parents are too embarrassed to keep them at home. This is a hiding place so the parents tak malu (are not shamed). But, some girls are here because they come from broken homes and can’t afford to pay the medical bills.” For whatever the reason the girls end up in Kewaja, they are cared for and their babies are brought safely into the world. “We encourage the families to keep the baby after delivery, but if they want to give the baby up for adoption, then we try to find suitable families.” He said many teenage girls were easily coaxed into having premarital sex because they were naïve. “Society should not only blame the girls. Most of them are in this situation because they were told they had to prove their love to their boyfriends. They were cheated. None of these girls wanted to be in this situation.” Kewaja, Yahya said, was a place teenage girls could go to instead of sitting alone in a room, waiting to go into labour. “When a teenager gets pregnant, she starts thinking of the worst-case scenario. She starts wondering ’who wants me?’, ’how do I keep this a secret?’.” He said some girls tried all sorts of ways to abort the babies themselves. “They take over-the-counter medications not meant for pregnant women in hopes of aborting the baby. But these ways backfire as the babies are born deformed and disfigured.” He said it was important that these young girls were with people who knew how to handle their situation from an objective and mature point of view. “There are many things that can go wrong in a pregnancy; teenagers need as much help as they can get, emotionally and physically,” he said. Kewaja is not the only shelter that houses pregnant teen-agers. Pusat Jagaan Birthright is another. It provides counselling, medical and legal aid, and assistance for single, unwed mothers. “We are neither condoning nor encouraging unwed pregnancy. But, if the mistake has already happened, these girls need to know that they have a second chance at a normal life. “Our priority is to take care of the mother-to-be and the child. The shelter is in Klang and the location of the

home is only disclosed to parents and immediate family,” said Eileen Sim, administrator of Pusat Jagaan Birthright (one of the services under Grace Community). At the shelter, each mother-to-be is provided a caregiver. The caregiver is someone with experience in motherhood. “The caregiver follows the mother-to-be for her prenatal check-ups and provides emotional support. The mother-to-be can call her whenever she needs someone to speak to. To date, the shelter has successfully aided 60 unwed mothers between the ages of 15 and 25 from various races and religious backgrounds. More than half of the babies were given up for adoption. “We encourage the mothers to carry the baby to full term, to keep and raise the child. “But, in the end, the decision is left to the mother. If she does not want to raise the child, we will match the baby with suitable parents.” The shelter, Eileen said, was a loving home environment. “The girls live in a big house with all the comforts of a home. There is a full-time worker who cooks, cleans and takes care of the girls. “The living conditions are comfortable and the girls are taught to take care of the house through daily activities like cooking.” Eileen said Pusat Jagaan Birthright had the facilities to take in more girls and hoped more pregnant girls would take advantage of this shelter to give their babies a birth right.

Unwed Cindy has no regrets keeping her baby WHEN 19-year-old Cindy (not her real name) first missed her period she brushed it off, thinking it was just stress. But when she didn't get her period the second month, she knew she was pregnant. "I was at my friend's house when I took a pregnancy test. I was very nervous but I didn't want to panic. When the test turned out 'positive', I was in shock. I did a second test and it gave the same result." Cindy was working as a sales girl in a shopping centre when she met Alan (not his real name). They dated for over a year and were making marriage plans. "I was convinced he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. So, when I found out I was pregnant, I was not so worried. I was sure Alan would marry me and we would live happily ever after. I was wrong. "When I confirmed my pregnancy at a clinic, I called Alan to share the good news. I told him we should speed up our marriage plans as I was pregnant. The voice on the other end was not as excited as I had

thought it would be." Alan said he was too young to be married and had no intention of settling down yet. He suggested Cindy have an abortion and offered to pay for it. "I was disappointed he didn't want to get married. But when I heard his suggestion to abort the baby, I was furious. I realised that Alan was not the person I thought he was. I cut all ties with him and told my parents about the pregnancy. "To my surprise, they were very supportive. My brother had heard of Pusat Jagaan Birthright and suggested I go there." When Cindy spoke to the New Sunday Times last week, she had just delivered a beautiful baby boy. He is now just over a week old. "I have not yet named my son. I can't decide on a name. But, this I know. I made the right decision in keeping my child. I can't imagine what I would have done if I had listened to Alan. "Now, each time my son smiles, I am reminded that I am stronger than I think. I don't know how I'm going to support him, but I know that I am not alone and that there are people out there willing to help."

Clinic route to dealing with unwanted pregnancy FROM the outside, it looks like any other clinic one would go to be treated for the common flu. However, unknown to many, this clinic, located in a busy street, in Petaling Jaya offers "extra services" to its regular patients and those who are recommended. According to a "patient", this clinic performs abortions. He has used its services for this purpose. Abortion is illegal in this country yet some private clinics, such as this one, do perform them, likely for the extra money. The "patient" had confided in a friend that he and his pregnant girlfriend could not afford to have a child at the time and wanted to abort it. "We were taken there by my friend, who was a registered patient of the clinic. When we arrived, my friend told the nurse at the counter that we wanted to see the doctor to discuss the possibility of an abortion." He said the nurse told them that they would have a wait awhile as there were other patients in the clinic at the time. "After 30 minutes, the nurse took us into the doctor's room. My friend waited outside. "We told the doctor that my girlfriend was four months' pregnant and that she wanted an abortion. "The doctor asked us questions, including whether anyone else knew we were there." The doctor told him that it could cost them about RM600 and that he could perform the procedure three days

later, which was a Saturday. He said the doctor asked them to come at 4pm as the clinic only opened from 10am to 2pm that day and he could perform the procedure after closing hours. "We agreed. We asked the doctor whether it was safe to do it at the clinic and when we should pay him. "He assured us that the clinic was well equipped to have the procedure done there and that he was very experienced," he said, adding that the doctor took blood samples from his girlfriend. He said he discussed it with his girlfriend and they felt quite comfortable with the doctor, whom he described as "very professional". He said he had also asked the doctor if there were any alternatives to an abortion, but was told that after nine weeks of pregnancy, aborting the child was the only option. "We went to the clinic that Saturday. I was asked to wait outside, while they took my girlfriend to a room located behind the doctor's consultation room," He said he waited for about an hour before the doctor emerged from the room. "The doctor told me that the procedure was carried out without any problems and that my girlfriend was resting. "I went to see her and she told me that it had been very painful. She said she could not see anything as she was shielded by a white cloth." He said his girlfriend rested for about an hour before the doctor came into the room again. "She appeared fine after the procedure except for some pain, which the doctor said was normal. "The doctor advised her to go home and get some rest. He said she could return to work on Monday and to come see him immediately if she had bleeding." He said the doctor gave his girlfriend some medicine, and told them that the foetus would be disposed of "sensitively" and that they had nothing to worry about. "The doctor asked us to see him again for some follow-ups a few weeks later. "We went to see the doctor about two weeks after the procedure. After some tests, he told us that my girlfriend had recovered well and that she was fine." He said it had been more than a year since the procedure and his girlfriend had not encountered any problems since.