Breakable Bella (part 9)

The next day, Edward and I were lounging on his couch and the whole Charlie situation was still bothering me. Edward was sprawled out his back while I was perched on his lap. “Are there any prostitutes in Forks?” I asked skeptically. He sighed. “I know, I know. I really need to sleep with you. Point taken.” “Har har. I’m talking about female ones though.” “I doubt it. Maybe Port Angeles if you’re really lucky. Why?” he asked. “Don’t you think it’s weird that Charlie had a new box of condoms, before he even found your shirt and thought to give us a lesson?” “Maybe he was planning on the lesson anyway?” “Maybe, but that doesn’t sound like Charlie. He puts off awkward stuff like the plague, until he’s provoked. And then he didn’t give us the rest of the box; he took them with him upstairs.” “So..?” “So I think he’s..seeing someone.” “So you assume it’s a prostitute?” he laughed. “That’s not very nice.” “Why else haven’t I met her yet? He should have introduced us or mentioned her if she was important. So I’m offended either way. And isn’t that kind of hypocritical, talking to us about sex when he’s sneaking around with someone?” “But he didn’t tell us not to do it; he just wanted you to be safe. It was kind of sweet, really.” I thought for a moment. “Oh my God! The camping trip. He was probably really with her. Can you find out who it is?” “What? Why?” “Because I want to know. You’re good at following and all that.” “Sorry, dear. I only stalk you.” He leaned over and kissed my forehead. “It’s fucked up how that melts my heart, isn’t it?” “Yes, it is. And language, Bella.” He shook his finger playfully. “If I remember correctly, I think you said a similar word in the woods,” I countered. “That doesn’t count. I was intoxicated--” “By my very presence,” I finished with a smirk. He traced my arm with his cool fingers. "And are you not affected at all? By my presence?" he asked softly. I paused for a moment and tried to ignore the tingles in my body. “Nope,” I said with a self-satisfied smile. I got up and started to move past him but was suddenly pulled back onto the couch by a pair of iron arms. I giggled as he situated me to lie on top of him. I propped myself up so I was facing him. My finger lightly traced his lip. “Regardless.” I leaned in to claim his lips. It was sweet and hesitant and very much like that first kiss in the woods. But our love was deeper now, and it was quite palpable in the kiss. “I love you,” I whispered when I finally pulled away, though it felt redundant at the moment. He kissed the tip of my nose. “And I love you.” He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and continued to look at me like I was the only girl in the world. ______________________ Edward’s POV: Bella is so beautiful. Especially when I’m dazzling her and those big doe eyes. I

remember when I first met her, they were my only access to what could possibly be going on in her head, since I couldn’t read her mind or talk to her. Well, talk to her as much as I wanted, anyway. But right now, seeing love shining in those brown eyes is just as good as it would be if I could hear her think it. My happy Bella bubble was then burst by intruding thoughts. ‘God it’s like a freaking Hallmark card.’ Oh joy, Rosalie’s home now. Damn vampire hearing; it is so obtrusive. But it’s not like I don’t have to listen to her and Emmett’s X-rated talks (not to mention thoughts). So she could deal with some G-rated ones. Bella is such a sweet girl; I don’t see why they can’t get along. What am I saying? That’s the point. Rosalie is not a sweet girl. Never has been and she probably never will be. I love her as a sister but sometimes I just don’t feel like dealing with her crap. ‘Edward, I’d like to speak with you and Bella in my office.’ At least that person’s thoughts aren’t callous. Carlisle was thinking about changing Bella and when it would be. I hope that she waits as long as she can. There are still a lot of experiences she hasn’t had yet and I don’t want to rob her of them. “Carlisle wants to see us,” I said, breaking us out of our trance. “Oh.” She looked surprised as she climbed off me. __________________ Bella’s POV: I didn’t know what Carlisle wanted to talk about and that me a little nervous. Edward took my hand and we walked into the office. Carlisle was sitting at his desk and smiled at us. “What’s up?” I asked hesitantly. “I was just wondering what your plans were. I know you’ll be in Europe for a few months, then maybe you’ll go to college for a semester.” “Or we’ll just come back here,” I added. “So you’ll want me to change you sometime between your return and September, correct? Probably as late as possible before your birthday?” This is it. I was hoping to announce it with a little more tact or romance, but it is a bit late for that. The truth is that I don’t want marry Edward in the near future. But I want him to change me so badly. And what does it matter? I am going to be with him forever. I can live through wearing a white dress for one day. Sure, my mom will freak, and the town will probably say we are too young, and people will actually have to look at me-“Actually Carlisle,” I paused. “I decided that I want Edward to change me.” Edward shuffled next to me and looked a little uncomfortable, possibly guilty. “Bella, remember I wanted you to marry me first if I was the one to change you.” “I know.” He stared at me blankly for a moment before a glimmer of hope crossed his face. “You mean..” “I’ll marry you.” I gave him the best smile I could muster up. “Really?” His face glowed and then he was hugging me tightly and lifting me off the ground.

He spun me around a little so I was facing Carlisle, and our eyes locked for a moment. Carlisle always had that knowing look. A look that told you that he could see all the way down to the depths of your soul. I never minded it before. At one point, it may have even been comforting. But right now it was very disconcerting. I had to hurry and get Edward out of there before Carlisle said-- or thought-- something to him that would give me away and make his smile disappear. Luckily my savior came in the form of a black-haired pixie. “Bella!” she sang loudly from downstairs, and in a moment she was in the doorway. “Can I plan your wedding? I was afraid ask before because you guys had not talked about getting married in months and I didn’t want it to be awkward.” “Of course, Alice,” I answered, smiling. It was a real smile; a relieved one. Because in one second.. “Oh I’m so excited! Let’s go look at samples,” she gushed as she pulled me (and also Edward since he had my other hand) from the room. Over the next two days, I was thrown into a world of tulle, flowers, and everything in between. The worst decision was upon me now. “Alice,” I complained with a moan. “I can’t eat any more cake!” “Sorry, Bella. But you’re the only human here to test it. And you have to try them all because I know you. You don’t want to cause a fuss so you would pick the first one you tasted if I let you and that is just a waste.” I groaned. “You could always bring some home to Charlie, but then you’d actually have to tell him what it’s for.” I cringed. I had not gotten around to telling my parents because quite frankly, I was afraid. “I don’t know what the big deal is,” she continued. “And as soon as you tell everyone, you can start wearing that pretty ring.” Ah yes, the ring. I had convinced Edward to show it to me later, after I made the announcement. The conspicuous nature was one reason for waiting to wear it, but also, the idea of a ring on my finger freaks me out. I can’t tell Edward that though. So I sit here in silence, stuffing my face with cake and rubbing my poor stomach. “Bella?” “Edward! Save me from the cake. Please,” I begged. He entered the kitchen and stared at all the half-eaten samples in front of me. “God Alice what did you do? She doesn’t have an endless stomach, you know.” “Yeah, yeah,” Alice placated. “How did it go at the hospital, with you viewing that surgery?” “Fine. Bella, can I talk to you outside?” “Sure, I’d love to get away from the cake.” I glared at Alice. “I like the red velvet, by the way,” I sighed. She laughed her musical laugh. “Very vampire.” Edward carried me outside since wedding talk. He set me down in out of hearing range. “I have to tell you something.” about to worry. Then he reached

I still felt nauseous from all the cake-- and front of a very tall tree and I assumed us to be His eyes had strong emotion in them and I was for my hand and continued.

“I’m not going to pressure you into marrying me anymore. There are no more conditions for me changing you. I’m already going to be able to keep you forever. I shouldn’t be greedy and ask for an unneeded title as well. And we’re too mature for this leverage game. Games have not worked out so well for us in the past… What we have is real and that’s what matters. I love you, Bella. Always.” “I love you too.” I reached up to kiss him briefly. “I really do. I’m just..not ready to--” “I understand. And it’s okay. We have plenty of time,” he assured me. “Did you talk to Carlisle?” I guessed. “He just mentioned that you looked a little apprehensive. I figured out the rest.” I nodded. “Thank you,” I whispered. “No problem.” “Alice will be mad,” I worried. “Well there will be a wedding eventually, right?” I nodded. “So she’ll just have to wait a little longer.” He shrugged as if Alice wasn’t going to freak out. But Alice would just have to deal. This was the right thing to do. I could feel it. “I’m sorry for offering to marry you when I wasn’t ready.” I looked down. “That was pretty cruel. I just wanted you to be the one to change me. And then you looked so happy.” “Don’t worry about it. I’ve been pressuring you to get married since I got back, even if I haven’t mentioned it lately. I should have respected your previous discomfort with the matter. And I certainly should have noticed it in Carlisle’s study and during this planning, but I was probably in denial.” “It doesn’t matter now.” “You know, you’ve been telling me to be less controlling and I always say I’m trying, but this is the biggest step I’ve made toward that so far.” He smile was slight but proud. “I know, I’m very proud of you.” I squeezed his hand. “I’m proud of us. We’ve been so understanding lately..it’s almost eerie,” I laughed. “Well we all have to grow up sometime.” He touched my cheek. “Even century-old vampires.” When we went back inside, Alice had already seen that the wedding was canceled. And she did freak out. But then I told her that she could throw a birthday party for me before we left for our trip, and that appeased her some. At least she could still order that cake. And since she needed her fix of fancy, it was probably going to be a dinner party or something..well at least the human guests would have dinner. As long as it didn’t turn into a disaster like last time, I really didn’t care. It’s amazing what perspective can do for you. Days passed and I still had not talked to Charlie about his mystery girl. But it was the weekend again now, so while Charlie was “camping,” at least I would be having another “sleepover.” Unfortunately for me, it was a bona fide sleepover this time, with no boys. Everyone in the family except for Alice and Rosalie was hunting and would spend the night outside, not too far from here. They could have easily come back home

for a bit, but they were having family bonding or something. Whatever. I could suffer through painted nails and bad horror flicks..as long as they did not feature zombies. But I did not feel like hanging out with Rosalie; she made me nervous. Luckily she had gotten bored and drove off somewhere. My phone seems to be having a seizure. Oh, a text from Edward. Usually he calls.. I looked down at my phone to read it. ‘What are you wearing?’ WTF? I am 95 percent sure that this is a prank by Emmett. But even if it isn’t, this reply applies. ‘You wish.’ I’m just not that kind of girl. Plus, Rosalie hates me enough when I’m not having “accidental” phone sex with her beau. Well actually, messing with her would be fun, but I don’t feel like dying and leaving poor Edward alone. My phone buzzed. ‘Tease.’ Huh. This sounds more like Edward. Well I guess there is only one way to find out. Emmett would surely stop playing if I had found out. ‘Those irritable grizzlies not warm enough for you, Emmett?’ My phone buzzed faster than I was expecting, but this time it was an incoming call. I didn’t expect the voice I heard, despite the caller ID. “Do you often have phone sex with Emmett?” an exasperated angel asked. “Do you often have phone sex?” I laughed, shocked. I thought he stole your phone as a joke.” Alice raised her eyebrow and I shook my head. “Oh. Umm, he did.” “And you sat right next to him while your brother used it to talk dirty to me? Wow, and I thought you were a good liar.” “Better than you,” he countered. “Wow, what an accomplishment,” I teased. “I’m hanging up now,” he huffed, embarrassed. “Fine,” I laughed. What has happened to my old fashioned Edward? “What was that about?” Alice laughed. “You don’t want to know,” I mumbled. “Fine,” she sighed, disappointed. “It’s time to paint our toenails now, anyway.” Alice was applying my top coat when she paused and her face froze. Oh no, what now? She was off the couch in a movement so fast that I didn’t see it. My feet plopped down on the couch, already missing the lap they had previously been on. “It’s Jasper. I gotta go find him.” And then she was gone without another word, leaving me in the empty living room. How odd. I hope Jasper is okay. And I hope Edward won’t be mad. They were not supposed to leave me alone. I looked around for something to entertain me while my nails dried. Unfortunately,

Rosalie chose that time to emerge from her coffin. With me all by myself in the house, a lone appetizer. Yay. I heard her car pull up and decided it was too late to make a run for it. “Bella?” I turned reluctantly. “Yeah?” “Can I talk to you for a minute? We’re not often alone.” Ah, don’t eat me! I smell better than I taste. Well not according to Edward but-“Sure, Rosalie. What’s up?” I tried to sound pleasant like she was. She sat down on the couch a safe distance away. “I hear you want to be changed before you’re 20.” I nodded. “Are you sure you want this..life? It’s not easy.” “I’m sure. I want to be with Edward forever.” “And that’s sweet, it is. But..don’t you want kids?” “Not really.” “But isn’t that kind of life’s purpose?” Was she serious? Not every human wants kids. “No, I think your purpose is whatever you want it to be.” She frowned. “Not everyone was born in the early 1900s, Rose.” It sounded more defensive than planned. She was suddenly glaring at me. “This is why I don’t like you, Bella! You’re so stupid. You’re so caught up with yourself and your little Edward that you fail to see the big picture. You’re hopeless.” And with that, she was out of sight. I did manage to hear the door slam, though. What the hell? I felt like a baby but I picked up my phone anyway. “Bella?” “Hey,” I said with a solemn voice. “Are you okay?” “Not really,” I decided. “Are you hurt?” “No.” “I’ll be there in 10.” “Sorry,” I mumbled to the dead line. I went to sit on the porch to wait for him and looked at the sky. What was Rosalie’s problem? She never had a sound reason to hate me to begin with. I thought we were making progress when she apologized after Italy but it was clearly just a façade. Damn ice bitch. I’m not going to let her make me cry. Not going to cry. Finally, the one person I wanted to see was here. “Bella. What happened?” I shrugged. He put his arm around my waist and I leaned into him. “Where’s Alice?” “She had to go find Jasper.” “What about Rosalie?” “I don’t know. Worshiping Satan probably, or robbing a baby carriage.” He sighed. “She talked to you?”

“If you can call it that. She just doesn’t understand that not everyone wants to pop out a kid. I never dreamed of procreating, sorry.” He hesitated. “Rose really wanted to start a family. It’s the thing she hates most about being a vampire.” “I never took her for the maternal type,” I muttered. He chuckled. “Yeah, me neither. But I think if she had a kid..she’d be different.” “Did you ever want kids?” I asked cautiously. “When I was a human? No. I was only thinking of war at the time.” “And now?” I whispered. “I just don’t see me as a daddy type. And I can’t be one, so I guess that works out.” I wanted to tell him that he’d be a great dad, but I thought that it might make him depressed. “But I hate taking this away from you, too,” he added sadly. “Really, I don’t mind. Kids are always sticky with jam or..goo and I don’t feel deprived at all. You’re everything I want.” I kissed his cheek. “You sure?” I wanted to tell him that if it was his kid I wouldn’t mind so much, but I thought that would also make it worse. “Positive.” He nodded. “You’re all I need as well,” he said with conviction. We sat in comfortable silence for an immeasurable amount of time. “I wonder if any amber alerts are out yet,” I teased. Edward smiled but it faded rapidly. “It’s no excuse for how she’s treated you, but she’s had a hard time. At the end of her human life especially.” I looked at him curiously. “It’s something she’ll have to tell you, when you’re closer.” “I guess I’ll never hear it,” I sighed. “I think things will work out somehow. Let’s go inside.” He offered me his hand to help me up but I just looked at it wearily. “What’s wrong?” “I don’t want to run into Rosalie again.” “She probably won’t be back until later, and we’ll be in my room.” Before I could help it, the tears I had been holding back rushed out. He was sitting next to me and holding me against his chest in an instant. “Bella? What is it?” “Why doesn’t she like me? I didn’t do anything. I want your family to like me! They’re going to be stuck with me forever. We shouldn’t have to avoid each other like this. I can’t do that.” He kissed the top of my head, not knowing what to say. “I get that she’s jealous that I’m human and thinks that I should stay one, but it’s my choice if I want to give that up. It’s worth it to me. She has no right to call me stupid for wanting that.” “She shouldn’t have called you stupid; that was wrong. But there are many..trials that come with being a vampire. For example, your ‘hit list’ is not so far from what could really happen. New vampires are very dangerous and you might hurt someone,” he said sadly.

“But for her to say that I should have babies? Obviously I’d have to have them with someone else. What kind of sister is she? Does she not care about your happiness at all?” “Rosalie knows that I want you to have a fulfilling life. If you wanted to start a family with someone else, I’d still be your friend if you would let me be, so I could be around you. Rose knows that, so I’m not mad at her for that.” I broke away from his arms. “That’s stupid,” I muttered. “It’s not stupid. I can’t give you children, Bella. That’s a big hole in our relationship.” “I told you I don’t care!” “Not now anyway.” “Why do you keep looking for these excuses to keep me human? Do you not want me around forever?” My heart broke just by forming that question. “Don’t ever say that, Bella. Of course I want you. I just want you to be happy.” “I am happy. I will be happy.” He sighed and we sat there for a long minute. _________________ Edward’s POV: How can I tell her what I’m thinking? It’s a jumbled mess, even to myself. I want to keep her forever, but I don’t want to steal away her life or her soul. But I’m selfish enough to do it if she asks for it, and I’ve already promised. “I’m not going to refuse to change you if that’s what you want. But Bella, I wanted to talk about your..timeline.. This probably is not the best time but I have not been able to bring it up.” “Timeline?” she asked wearily, wiping away tears. “I’m worried. I’m worried that you won’t be ready in a year. When you cried over that CD Jacob gave you, I realized that. You said that you cried because you were ‘moving on from this life.’ I was wondering if you would wait longer for me to change you. You could spend more time with your family--” “What about the Volturi? Have you forgotten about them? What if they just show up one day and I’m still human?” “Alice will see them coming. I could change you before they showed up, or I can hide you.” She glowered at me. “No hiding.” I did not respond so she continued with her excuses. “What about my age? 19 is bad enough. What age were you thinking?” “I don’t know. 22, maybe. Or after you finish college if you want to go.” “That’s too old. You’re only 17.” “Why does it matter? Are looks that important to you, or are you just worried what people with think when they look at us? Because who gives a damn about them? Besides, a five year age difference is minimal compared to some couples.” “You’ll change your mind by then. You will realize all the things that are wrong with me and want to get out.” I sighed. “That’s absurd, Bella.” “Well that’s me. It’s one of my flaws.” I chuckled despite myself. “Do you have any other reasons for changing next year?” “I’m pretty clumsy and unlucky, if you haven’t noticed.” She nudged me playfully. “It’s a miracle that I’ve lived this long.” I winced at that. “I’ll make sure you’re fine.” “You can’t prevent all things. Lightning, car accidents, disease--”

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” I asked, near panic. “Sorry. Just saying.” I bowed my head and ran my hand through the disheveled hair. “We’ve forgotten the most important reason for my speedy timeline,” she informed. “What’s that?” There was no question in my voice. “Sex.” “Oh. It’s quite an accomplishment that we forgot for a few minutes,” I said seriously. She nodded. “I don’t think sex is worth eternal damnation, love.” “Speak for yourself,” she laughed. She traced my arm with her warm fingers. “I’m fine with waiting a year, but not longer.” I sighed heavily. “We’ll talk about that part later. I’m sorry for springing this all on you now.” “It’s okay. We needed to talk sometime.” “So if we figure out the sex thing, you’ll wait a few more years?” “I don’t want to make any promises, but possibly.” I stood up and pulled me into a hug. “Thanks,” I said, relief strong in my voice. “You know you can always talk to me about anything, right Edward?” she said against my chest. “I know. I was just worried that you would cry or claim that I don’t want you, so I was putting it off.” She laughed softly. “Well I had already done both of those things earlier tonight so I guess you had nothing to lose.” “I always have something to lose, Bella,” I murmured as I held her tighter. I was very aware of that. “You’ll never lose me,” she whispered. “Promise.” Oh how I wanted to be certain. We held each other until she suddenly pulled back. “Hey. Speaking of sex, you’re in trouble,” she informed me. I must have looked confused so she pulled out her new phone and held it pointedly in her hand. “Really, Edward?” she smirked. Oh. Shoot. “I uh..missed you. And to be honest, it really was Emmett’s idea. Though he doesn’t know I actually did it.” “I knew it! But I’m no Rosalie, so don’t pull that crap again,” she ordered. “I’ll be good, promise.” I kissed her hand then led her back inside. _______________ Bella’s POV: I awoke to an empty bed and was a little worried. But then I smelled the food once I got to the hall. I hurried to the kitchen, managing not to trip the whole way. Almost. “What are you doing, Edward?” “I’m cooking you breakfast.” “But how? You don’t eat. No offense, but I don’t want to eat a science experiment.” “Does drinking before noon sound more appealing?” “Good one, heroin addict.” “Touché.”

He set the plate on the counter and I went over to inspect it. “Food Network,” he explained. “Well you could have just said so. Now you’ve put our fragile recoveries at risk.” “I don’t mind that. I don’t think I could bear to let go of my special heroin.” He ruffled my hair and grinned at me. I smiled back before glancing at the stove. “Edward! Your boiling water is burning,” I gasped. “What?” He rushed over to turn it down and I burst out laughing. “Sorry. Couldn’t help it.” “Is it really burned? I wanted to try poached eggs.” “I-- uh, no..it’s not burned,” I mumbled guiltily. He gave me a questioning look and I shoved some bacon in my mouth. I hoped it would work like that “Chew it over with Twix” commercial. Luckily he shrugged and continued on with the eggs. “Is anyone else home?” I asked Edward. “Yes,” a distinctly bitchy voice answered behind me. I didn’t bother turning around; instead I continued to devour my plate. Maybe if I didn’t move, she’d leave, like a wild animal. I sure as hell was not going to make eye contact. I wasn’t sure that she was out and away from the house until Edward spoke. “I’m sorry. I’ll talk to her today.” “Don’t bother,” I sighed. “Everyone else likes me; I’ll live.” “I have to. I’m mad at her too, for making you cry.” “Don’t go spreading that around, please. That’s probably how she gets her kicks. You know, in between skinning puppies.” He sighed. “Thanks for the breakfast. It’s really nice,” I said, trying to salvage the mood. “You’re welcome.” “Oh I have good news,” I remembered. I had slept on a decision I made late last night. “What is it?” he asked hopefully. “I decided that we can go to Washington State in the winter. It might be for just a semester if I still want to be changed at 19. Or it might be longer, if I want to wait.” “That’s great,” Edward said with enthusiasm as he took me in his arms. “You’ll like college.” “And the best part is Angela and Ben are going there too. I had forgotten that. So I can stop trying to wean myself off Angela. I’m going to call her later today to hang out. I’m sad that I’ve wasted several months not seeing her, but I plan to make up for it.” “That’s a wonderful idea.” Edward kissed the top of my head and released me so he could continue playing chef. There was just one question in my mind now: Would I really be able to move on after one semester?