Breakable Bella (part 4)

Edward’s POV: I ran through revenge options in my head. I could break my promise and punch him. But he would heal too quickly for it to be worth pissing off Bella that much when he tattled. And if I did permanent damage she would never forgive me. I could set his Rabbit on fire. He loved that piece of junk. Bella said he built it himself and it took him forever. Is that too cold? No. He called my sweet, virginal Bella a whore for no reason. He had this coming. But fire is a little conspicuous. So I’ll have to settle for stealing and impounding. I’d hire a punk so they could not trace it to me. Besides, it’s not like I’m allowed to cross the border to his house. I pulled up to Bella’s house to drive her to my place. Esme got the crazy idea that baking was a good idea and needed a human to try her creations. What she was going to do with the extras, I had no idea. I heard a phone ring inside before I got out. I wasn’t intentionally trying to eavesdrop. It just kind of happened. “Hey Ang,” Bella said happily. “Oh my friend Jacob is good with cars?” she said after a pause. “Yeah, he built his own car,” she said softly as if she regretted mentioning him. I could imagine her biting her lip. “I spent hours sitting in that thing while he worked on it. It was better than the floor.” She sounded wistful. “Did I tell you about the time that Mike almost threw up in the back of it? Jake almost had a heart attack.” She laughed despite herself. “Well I’ll give you his number; he probably won’t charge much to fix it.” Crap. What am I going to do now? My selfish side wanted to impound it even more than before. To destroy any connection he and Bella had left. But doing so would destroy sentimental memories for Bella as well. And how would that be helpful when I was doing this revenge for her sake? This was for her sake, right? I drove around the block so it would seem like my arrival was better timed. The next day, I finally thought of a harmless payback for Jacob. I still had a few friends from my wandering days, though we had not talked in years. I decided to call up a rather mischievous one who would have no problem participating in a prank without asking for details. I asked him to mail me a few items with his scent on it. I would disperse the items in random places within the reservation (so my family was not likely to catch a whiff). I would have to throw them over the boundary or something without mixing my own scent with them. Then Jacob and his pack would freak out at the prospect of a new, non-vegetarian vampire, run around with no sleep, and be totally spooked for however long it took them to figure out that there was no danger. My friend was on another continent and would never actually come in contact with the wolves, so there was no chance of it backfiring on him. It was the perfect plan. ____________________ Bella’s POV:

Graduation came and went. I decided that I wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to my friends and family, so Edward was happy to put off my immortality for a bit. I thought 19 was a good enough age, and the Volturi probably would not bother me before then. They measured things in vampire years, after all. Plus, I was pretty sure that if I had some time, I could convince him to change me himself without the marriage condition. Edward suggested traveling for a while since I already had an alibi for the fall, and I was open to anything so long as we did it together. I had not talked to Jacob since that terrible night, and was trying my best to forget about him. Sometimes I faltered, like when I unthinkingly mentioned him to Angela three weeks ago when she needed a mechanic. My heart ached a little afterwards. ______________________ Edward’s POV: I was enjoying watching Bella sleep, like usual, when I realized that I left something at my house for her. It was an antique necklace that matched the engagement ring she refused to look at or acknowledge. They both belonged to my mother. I did not really understand Bella’s problem with worldly commitments, but I figured I should start small. I scanned the area for conscious thoughts before I could jump out of her window and get it. It was silly; the chances of someone seeing me in the dark, unblurred, for a fraction of a second was extremely unlikely. It was very late at night. But I did not like to take chances when I could help it. There was no one awake in her neighborhood. I let myself wander farther out of curiosity. Someone was driving through town. They were thinking about pina coladas. And getting caught in the rain. What the hell? This is what I get for searching out of boredom. I was about to close myself off to all thoughts when I got the most horrifying image from a different mind. It was even worse than the one Alice saw of me with a drained Bella. In this, Bella was mangled beyond repair and death was not coming soon enough for her. She was being tortured. I ripped myself away from the picture. I had to stop myself from crying out in pain so I would not wake Bella. Who would think such horrible things? Whoever they were, they were close, so I had no choice but to submerge myself back into the despicable thoughts. Mixed with Bella, there were images of James. The feelings behind them were clear. Love. Devotion. Revenge. NO! Victoria. I was such a fool to think that she had given up. That the return of the Cullens had scared her away. I had no choice but to call the person who owed me nothing. Less than nothing. I used Bella’s phone. “Please have opposable thumbs right now…” I mumbled to myself as it rang. My hand was trembling with rage and fear when he picked up. I tried to keep my voice low.

“Is this Bella or her psycho, overprotective beau who often calls me in the middle of the night?” “Jacob, help. I detected a vampire. It’s--” “We know. We’ve been smelling an unidentified vampire for weeks. There have been no deaths--” “This isn’t the same one.” I was becoming impatient. “How do you know?” “Because I planted items around so you would think that there was a vampire, and you would worry and not get any sleep because of rounds.” I did not have time for this. “Oh, Edward. Haven’t you heard about the boy who cried vampire?” Had he? If he remembered the tale correctly, all the sheep were massacred at the end. “It’s Victoria. Here,” I spit out. “Shit. Why didn’t you say so? We’ll take care of it. Where is she?” “Maybe 3/4 of a mile from Bella’s. She just passed the post office and is not going in a straight line.” “Alright. Take care of Bella.” I hung up and quickly scanned for her viewpoint. She was still weaving and moving slower than necessary. It made me anxious that I did not know why. But I was glad that it was stalling her. I tightened my hold on Bella’s waist. It’s not like we could fight in the house with Charlie here. I would have to leave her inside. Panic started to build but was cut off when I saw a black wolf tackle Victoria. I just had to hope that she would not bite them. Jacob arrived, wanting a piece of her as well. Literally. She was bewildered and I saw flashes of a different wolf in her mind, still and bleeding. After many more wolf attacks, I could no longer read her mind. Was she destroyed or did she get away? I scanned for her thoughts furiously. If the wolves did not do the job, I would have to call my family and put them in danger. Or could I handle her myself like I always wanted? No, the wolves most likely succeeded. They destroyed Laurent, after all. That’s why I called them. That and the fact that they were probably closer. I was interrupted by Bella’s phone. Jacob. At this rate, we should really put each other on speed dial. “Yes?” “Can you call Carlisle and tell him to come right away? We’re in the woods behind the diner. Embry’s hurt. Victoria is dead though. Well, more dead than before.” I was so relieved that it was finally over. “Yes. Thank you. Should I come too?” I really wanted to see Victoria burn. “Probably. Bring Bella if you want.” I was glad that we let the wolves defend all of Forks now from outsiders. Carlisle had insisted on it upon our return because he was worried about Bella. I called Carlisle and he left immediately. I looked at Bella sleeping and could not bear to leave her here alone. What if there was more danger remaining tonight? She would surely pull it toward herself. But a vampire bonfire is not the most pleasant shindig. I decided to wake her up anyway. __________________________ Bella’s POV: I was still mostly asleep as Edward helped pull on my jeans. I asked where we going, and he said the diner. I was too tired to ask why. Maybe we were going to

get pancakes or something. But he did not eat… He stopped my fruitless suspicions after he had started running. “Jacob’s pack killed Victoria.” That woke me up a little. “Really?” I was so relieved. “But why are we going to the diner?” “I kind of wanted to see for myself, and I did not want to leave you alone.” “See what for yourself?” “Well hopefully, nothing.” He had an odd expression on his face. I didn’t really get it, but we arrived shortly. The whole pack was there. Most were in their human forms but two were phased and keeping lookout. I smelled thick incense. It reminded me of something but I did not know what. Then I saw the fire with unusual smoke, and I knew. But I did not let my mind officially make the connection. A little ways off, I saw Embry on the ground with Carlisle crouched over him. A machine was helping him breathe. His clothes were torn and caked with blood. Jacob was next to him. “Jake, what happened?” I nearly shrieked. He walked over to us. “Embry and Jared were on their usual patrol. Jared found an item with a vampire scent on it and phased out of his wolf form so he could talk to Sam. Sam thought there was a third wolf on patrol but he was mistaken. Leah had taken a break to get some food.” “Leah’s a werewolf??” I was shocked. “Yes. Anyway, for once, Jared forgot about the buddy system. He feels terrible. Embry was the only one phased at the time, so we did not hear his distressed thoughts until we got Edward’s warning. We were afraid of Victoria getting away so we tried to hurry and finish her off first, but it look longer than expected.” Jacob looked down, ashamed. “It’s not your fault. Victoria was really skilled. You should be proud that you defeated her,” I insisted. Jacob did not look convinced. “Well he had lost a lot of blood despite healing quickly. And he was losing consciousness and having trouble breathing. Carlisle thinks he will be okay though, now.” I hoped so. I could not help but think this was my fault. I had brought Victoria on them, after all. __________________________ Edward’s POV: There was a long pause as everyone mulled over their thoughts. I was very aware of the dangerous glares I was getting from the entire pack. Bella, I assumed, was still reeling from the existence of a female werewolf. I had already known from Jacob’s thoughts. I was telling myself how stupid I was. Because of my distraction, Victoria had gotten through the wolves and if I had not been scanning for thoughts, she might

have gotten too close… I would have been an accomplice in the death of my own girlfriend…best friend…soul mate. Bella interrupted my horrific realization. “Did Victoria come here recently, before today?” she asked. “We’re not sure…We’ve been a little..distracted.” He glanced at me with reproach. “Distracted how?” “Edward here made us think that there was a vampire on the loose. Another one, anyway. I guess Victoria could have come relatively close to town without us noticing when we were so focused on the other scent and the areas that we found the scented items in. Oh yeah, the item Jared found, it was a fake,” he added bitterly. I knew that I did not deserve all of the blame for missing her previously, but I did deserve most of it. “I have an explanation for doing this, I swear,” I murmured to Bella. A pretty crappy one, I admitted to myself. “We’ll talk about it later,” she replied quickly. “I can’t deal with this right now.” She stole a glace at Embry. “Did you find out why she was weaving around like that?” I asked Jacob. I was lucky he was even talking to me. “We’re not sure. Maybe she picked up our scents that we had left when we were in our human forms, just walking around town. Thought they were fresh. Had she run into a lot of werewolves?” I shook my head. “None like you, anyway.” Bella turned to the bloodied Jacob. “Thank you, Jacob. For taking care of Victoria. For everything. I’m sorry I’ve treated you so badly. I didn’t know what the right thing to do was.” She went to give him a hug but he motioned to his stained shirt. “God, I don’t care, Jake,” she said as she wrapped her arms around him. Watching them hug like that…with such strong feeling…I suddenly felt very uneasy. She would go to Jacob now. She would forgive him for everything and blame me. I can’t let that happen. I can’t live --exist-- without her. I need to make a preemptive strike. “He called you a whore!” I accused barely after their embrace had ended. Bella’s head snapped toward me and her gaze was scorching. She then turned back to Jacob. “WHAT?” “I never said that out loud.” He fidgeted. “Yeah, he thought it. And he wanted me to hear it.” “When?” she demanded. I was silent. Maybe this was not a good idea. “When he came to threaten me so I wouldn’t leave any more crap at your house,” he explained. “You didn’t know about that, did you?” He smirked. “Then he lunged at me. Probably would have taken me out if it was not for my brothers stepping in.”

“Edward, you promised,” she scolded. “I didn’t touch him.” This was as lame of an excuse as Jacob’s. “But you would have,” he chimed in. “So I’m guessing that since he could not hurt me, he settled on the genius plan that led to tonight. In his defense, he thought it would just cause stress and make us lose sleep.” “I couldn’t let him get away with that,” I murmured. “Let him win.” Bella turned to address only me. “This wasn’t a game to me! I wasn’t driven by revenge, spite, jealousy, or damn testosterone. I loved you. I loved both of you. I stopped loving him for you. For you and me. You were supposed to be the mature, responsible one!” Loved. Past tense. Agony. She looked at me to say something but I could find no rebuttal. By now she was crying relentlessly. “Embry almost died, all because of your stupid game. And you would not even have cared because it would have been one less werewolf to smell. You just care about yourself and maybe me. The whole world could explode around us and you would not even blink.” “That’s not true--” “I don’t believe you. I don’t trust you. And I sure as hell can’t marry you or be eternally 19 with you.” I had frozen into a block of ice. So she turned and walked away after giving me a heartbreaking look. I expected a smirk from Jacob. At least some form of mockery. But he seemed frozen as well. We both came fighting to win and neither of us did. But from the look on her face, Bella seemed to lose the most. ___________________________ Bella’s POV: The one speck of luck I had was that Charlie did not wake up when I had to go through the front door. In addition to sobbing, I spent the rest of the night debating which was worse: the night Edward left me, or tonight when I left him. I did not remember getting an answer by the time I finally gave into the emptiness of sleep. / Hurt myself again today And, the worst part is there's no one else to blame / I was sprawled out on my bed the next morning, completely miserable. Or maybe it was afternoon. It didn’t matter. Time would continue to move fast. I would be old before I knew it. / Ouch I have lost myself again Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found, Yeah I think that I might break I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe /

I suddenly wished that I had amnesia so I would not know what I was missing. Oh what I would do to forget. Memories swirled in my head: being carried to the nurse after my blood typing disaster, hanging onto him in Italy as tight as I could, the silly banter before he asked to drive me to Seattle, Romeo’s lines being whispered in my ear, him distracting me with his lips before the baseball game-There was a knock on the door. I barely heard it over the blare of the stereo. I considered ignoring it, then finally dragged myself to go open it. Then I wished that I hadn’t. “Jacob?” I was tempted to kick him out before I even let him in. But what did I have to lose? And I did owe him for Victoria. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” He was more solemn than I had ever seen him. I nodded and stepped aside. We sat down in the living room. I looked at the floor. “I’m sorry. This isn’t Edward’s fault. I started everything. I did everything I could to drive you apart. I asked you to the party right in front of him to make him jealous. I thought the brochures would make Charlie forbid you from seeing him, but I was an idiot to think that would stop you. I was about to just tell Charlie what happened, but then I realized that you would move in with him and then I would never see you.” “And I’m so sorry that I called you a… I didn’t mean it. I don’t know what I was thinking. I wasn’t. I just wanted to get a rise out of him. To get back at him for stealing you, when you were never mine to begin with.” He laughed without humor. “It was irresponsible of me, to put it lightly. My pack could have gotten hurt. It would have been a replica of last night. Or we might have killed him and then what? I would never be able to look you in the eye. A war would be started over my petty game. So I’m no better than he is. I would have reacted the same way he did… probably worse.” “I expected to feel happy after it finally happened, your split. But last night, I felt sick. Just because I can’t find happiness, it doesn’t mean that I should rob others of it. You guys love each other so much. Should be together. I hope I can find something like that one day. Even if you had chosen me last night, it would have been wrong. I know that now. I never had the chance; I see the way you look at him. You were right when you said you were Sam and Emily.” I must be dreaming. “Well that’s all. I hope things will work out for you two. And I hope we can be friends again sometime.” He walked by my shocked self, pausing to lightly kiss my cheek. Even if I had been thinking clearly, I would not have protested. It was too sweet. Despite my daze, I managed to hear the door shut behind me. _____________________ Edward’s POV: I sat outside her house all night like the vampire stalker I am, but I couldn’t

help it. I hate leaving her unprotected even though I hurt her more than anyone else can. I did not want to go home anyway because I would have been chastised as soon as my family found out from Carlisle what happened. He had been too busy last night to yell at me. Listening to her cry herself to sleep was not an easy experience. It made me hate myself even more, and I thought I was at the limit of self-loathing before. I haven’t moved an inch. So I got a front-row seat to Jacob’s monologue. I would have been touched if I was not so devoid of human emotion right now. Empty. Cold. Basically Jacob’s stereotype of a vampire. But how could I be anything but when my reason for existence no longer wants me? I did not even feel angry when he kissed her cheek. I was just a spectator. Worst of all, judging by her music choice, it seems that she is blaming herself for my mess. I was never really defending her honor; I was defending my ego. My claim on her. If I really cared about her, I would not have retaliated. She would never stop caring about Jacob. She wants the best for him. I should have been the bigger person and tried to get along. There has to be something I can do. If Jacob of all people can be noble, I can too. I finally turned my phone back on and called Alice for ideas. I got quite an earful when she picked up. _______________________ Bella’s POV: I had been mourning for two days when it hit me. What was the point of all this? Edward would probably buy half of Paris, make me an entire book of compositions, tell me that he was sorry a million times, grovel at my feet for days, or all of the above. And I would forgive him because I love him and we are both hopeless without each other. It was inevitable. And it had meant enough to Jacob to apologize and try to fix things. He didn’t usually bother with things like that. Sometimes it really doesn’t matter how something happens; it just matters that it does. I don’t always have to be the damsel. I grabbed my keys and was gone before Charlie could ask where I was going. I knocked on their door lightly, knowing that they would be able to hear. I was expecting Carlisle or Esme to answer, but it was my angel who opened it. We stared at each other for a few moments in silence. His eyes had a century’s worth of sadness in them. I felt mine blaze with determination. And I didn’t care that his family was probably gawking from the next room. I threw myself into his arms and he was so surprised that he actually staggered a few steps back. He was clearly a drug for me too, because all was right with the world as soon as our lips met. Emmett’s chuckling finally wedged us apart a little. “Oh you crazy kids,” he teased. I could not help but smile. “I’m so sorry. I promise to act my age from now on,” Edward vowed as he smoothed my hair. “Okay, but don’t get too into it. I don’t want you to break a hip.” I kissed his

cheek. “I really did have a plan,” he laughed as he released me. “I know, but I didn’t feel like wasting any more time. I feel like I overreacted a little.” “No, you were right. I was being careless and immature, self-centered..” “Okay, okay, I know. My point is, we can’t let these things get in our way. I love you and I want to be with you forever. I’m sorry that I ever questioned that.” “I’m sorry I made you question that,” he murmured. I squeezed his hand. Our audience cheered and I blushed deeply. Things completely recovered between Edward and I. He even gave me a key to his house on the off-chance that they locked it (since breaking and entering was not easy for all of us). It was more symbolism than anything. I spent most of my time there and while Charlie was not very pleased, what could he say? I was moving out at the end of the summer to a supposed internship on the East Coast. I was grown. I still slept at my house to keep him from having a total heart attack, but of course, Edward stayed with me. I would kind of miss my room at Charlie’s, I had to admit. By some miracle, Charlie never even noticed that we had broken up for a few days. I was glad; he did not need any more reason to doubt Edward. Jacob and Edward had been hanging out once a week for the past four weeks or so. The first time they went out, I nearly hyperventilated. When they returned in one piece, I was amazed. I asked where they went but neither would tell me. As long as it was not a strip club, I suppose. And now that Edward and Jacob accepted each other, I could hang out with Jake a lot more without feeling bad. Today I was going to a party at La Push. It was a late engagement party for Sam and Emily. Or maybe a pre-wedding party. I wasn’t sure. After I was dressed, I added the antique choker that Edward gave me when we madeup. He said it was his mother’s and that it would look beautiful on me. There was deep emotion in his eyes that did not match his casual words. But he said nothing more so I let it go. It made him happy when I wore it, and it matched my dark jeans and fancy empire-waist top quite well today. I was never one for skirts but I knew the werewolf clan would understand that better than anybody. Much better than Alice. I did not particularly enjoy parties, especially when they were mushy and I had to go alone. But even if Edward had a desire to go, he couldn’t. Things weren’t quite that friendly, even though he apologized to the pack and was getting along with Jake now. I had several gifts with me. The first was for Sam and Emily. It was a clock, the kind you set on your mantle, with wolves carved into the stand. I managed to find it at an antique store. Then I had the gift for Embry that Edward asked me to deliver. He wanted to give him a gift after what happened when he tried to stop Victoria, and Jacob mentioned that he had been craving an iPod. After both were delivered, I weaved in and out of the groups of people and balloons to search for my other friends. I spotted Jacob across the living room. He was glowing as he ran over to me. He pulled me to a more private corner of the room. “Bella! I met a girl. The girl.” “Wow that’s great, Jake! When?” I had seen him just last week. “Yesterday.”

“Umm..isn’t it a little soon for you to call her THE girl?” He laughed with real amusement. I must have looked confused. “I never told you about imprinting, did I?” he asked softly. Imprinting? I shook my head. “I think I was afraid before to explain about Sam and Emily. I did not want you to be too shocked by the weirdness.” “It takes a lot to freak me out these days, Jake.” “True. Well,” he continued in a muted tone, “werewolves have soul mates that they discover if they see them. Their bond is very strong. Like on the level of you and your bloodsucker.” He nudged my shoulder and gave me a goofy grin. Now there was an analogy that I could get. “That’s awesome. I’m so glad you found someone,” I said with real meaning. Finding love like that was very lucky. “Me too. Now you can believe me when I say I’m not pining after you.” He winked and I laughed. “So when can I meet her?” “Promise not to be jealous?” “No promises,” I grinned. “Well her name is Aubrey and she’ll be driving down this weekend. She lives half an hour away, it really sucks. But we installed webcams and we chatted on them for hours today. She has kind of sandy blond hair and big green eyes. They have flecks of brown in them. I’ve never seen anything like her. She…” I had never seen Jake so excited. I was glad that Aubrey could give him everything I couldn’t. “-- came down here to visit her sister, Meg. She’s not as pretty as Aubrey but who is?” I nodded throughout his spiel but then I had to go. I had my own soul mate to obsess over. I drove over to his house and let myself in. It seemed like the rest of his family was out as I climbed up the stairs. Edward must have taken a shower; his bronze hair was still a little wet and he had just his pants on. I came up behind him in his room but he didn’t turn. Maybe he liked pretending that being surprised was possible, so he could feel normal. Or maybe he just really liked it when I kissed the back of his bare shoulder and stretched up on my toes to kiss his neck, grabbing his arm to keep me steady. He reached around and grabbed my waist so he could pull me in front of him. He kissed my neck and on the other side, his hand lingered on the choker. He always seemed more gentle than me when he kissed my neck. But I could see why; one slip of his teeth… But this was the last thing on my mind at the moment. Actually, my mind was almost blank. This was most likely due to a combination of his scent and kisses. I grabbed his face and attacked his lips, being too careless as always. But he humored me this time. His hands slid up and down my sides and I shivered. I swore that I felt him smile against my overworked lips. “Tease,” I murmured against him. “The original.” But two could play that game. I placed my hand on his stomach right below his belly button and stroked sideways until I reached his hip. He growled and I

giggled but the sound was muffled by his lips. I moved my hands to his chest and traced my hands very lightly over every inch while he picked me up and set me down to sit on his antique desk. He kissed my collarbone and stroked my leg from ankle to thigh. I tensed automatically. I played with his belt loop with one hand and dug my nails into his back with the other. In the moment it took to reattach our faces, I saw that his eyes were pitch black. I fastened my legs tight around him and I was not the only one having trouble breathing. He pulled my hair to the side almost roughly and leaned over my shoulder so he could kiss the back of it. I grabbed his shoulders as tight as I could as he moved back to my lips. I claimed one of my legs back and bent it so I could use my foot to stroke his thigh. His hold on my hips tightened slightly and he made a delectable sound. His hold was almost too tight but I would not dream of telling him to let go. I wanted him even closer but I was not sure if that was possible. I grabbed the low waistband of his jeans by slipping my fingers under it a little and making a fist. I don’t know where the game stopped and the lust started. But it was finally too much for him and he was suddenly out of my grasp in a blur, leaving me breathless and alone in his room. And more frustrated than ever.