175541_informal.docx

Here is a letter written in (very) colloquial English. Redraft it in appropriate formal English. Pay attention, in particular, to the following issues: (1) Dead wood – does the letter contain useless words and phrases that can simply be cut out? (2) Terminology – is the terminology used appropriate for the context? Are there more precise legal terms that can be used? Is terminology used consistently? (3) Phrasing – is the phrasing used appropriate for the context? Consider whether more formal phrases should be used. (4) Tone – is the tone of the letter suitable (see notes above)? (5) Conventions – have the conventions relating to the beginning and ending of the letter been followed? (6) Organisation/structure – could the topics covered in the letter be placed in a more logical and reader-friendly order? Budi & Partners Depok Indonesia

Benjamin Ward Foreign Investment Corporation Singapore

Hi Benny It was really great to see you when you came in for a chat on Tuesday about putting up a new JV co with some Indonesian business men. We think the way you trust us is awesome and totally justified, because we're pros and never kiss and tell. Like I said before, probably a PT is the way to go for the type and size of business you're talking about. I mean, basically the way it's done is, like, not that difficult. Anyway you told me to go right on ahead and get the company made. I'd better let you know we got the ten juta you paid upfront. So this is where it starts getting official. I started out this morning by taking a peek online at the official records at the Ministry and found the name you wanted for the biz – “Really Awesome Electric Gizmos” – is available just now (no surprise there, huh?). So you can use that name. Basically you said the whole point of the biz is to sell electric gizmos direct to people over the internet. We went over the actual nitty gritty details of how the legals are done in this area and we found out its pretty complicated as you guys are foreigners. The President of Indonesia makes up the thing called the Negative List – and in your case, it is pretty negative. Under this list, if you want to sell things off the internet using a biz in Indo, you will have to put a lot of cash into the biz to get it started. I remember that you said you didn’t want to put up a lot of cash up front so I did some thinking and another way of doing it is to have what they call “Nominee Shareholders”. Strictly speaking, the Investment Law in Indo says you are not supposed to do this, but I think if we don’t tell anyone, it shouldn’t be a problem. I could hold the 51 shares in the PT on your behalf and the

businessmen you had been talking to will have 49. Like I said up the top, you totally trust us so this should be a problem for you Benny as long as we all keep quiet about it. Like I told you on Tuesday, it’s probably a good idea to have something called a shareholders’ agreement. Thats where you and the Indo businessmen agree big stuff about the biz – not just the day to day stuff but a lot of what ifs? too. Like, for instance, what happens if there‟s a disagreement between you about how the co is run, what happens if one of you wants to sell his shares, what happens if one of you drops dead. The big scary stuff. Just taking care of your interests. Anyway we can talk about this more once the PT is registered. I’ll tell you when that is done. Call me if there is anything you need to know. Otherwise I'll be in touch once the PT is done. Budi