Xp3: Middle School Small Group Dialog

XP3: MIDDLE SCHOOL SMALL GROUP DIALOG

XP3 THE BATTLE WITHIN: Middle School Small Group Dialog [FOR STUDENT PASTORS] Remember to e-mail your leaders every week with the small group questions attached. This will allow your leaders to review the material before they sit down to lead discussion. Use the e-mail to encourage your leaders and celebrate their successes. Encourage them in their key role of leading students to truth. To give your leaders an idea of what we will be discussing over the next three weeks, copy and paste the following description into your e-mail to help convey the main goal of this series.

E-mail for Small Group Leaders THE BATTLE WITHIN Each one of us faces a battle within, a battle that may go unseen by those around, but inside there is major brawl. It’s a battle with temptation. And depending on the temptation and its hold on your life, it may be a battle that seems impossible to win. In this series, Andy Stanley takes a look at the temptations Jesus faced in the desert, and identifies the driving forces behind the temptations we all face every day. Because once you realize what the pull is behind the temptation, you can find the confidence to follow Jesus’ example and respond as He did. Week One: The Main Event (include date) Bottom Line: In every single temptation you face, there is always more at risk than you think. In the sport of boxing, the main event is the big fight, the moment where everything is on the line. But for most of us, we are oblivious to the truth that in every temptation we face, there’s a lot at stake as well. When face to face with temptation, the choice feels insignificant sometimes. There are times when it feels like no one will notice, or it’s not really a big deal. But in looking at the temptations Jesus faced, we realize just how much is at stake—not only in His life, with the temptations that were before Him—but in our lives as well, with the ones we face every day. Week Two: In This Corner (include date) Bottom Line: Every time you’re tempted, your confidence in God is at stake, not just your self-control. When facing temptation, it seems like it’s always about the choice, the decision, the temptation. But it’s always about more than that. It’s not just your reputation or your innocence that’s at stake—it’s your confidence in God. The lure of temptation makes us question whether we can really trust God to come through for us, to be there for us, to provide for us. We begin to think He’s not in our corner, that He’s not looking out for us. But what if we began to see Him there? What if we realized that whatever is luring us away really has nothing to do with what we think it’s about, and there’s a deeper issue, a trust issue, at work? It might completely weaken the pull of that temptation, and it might help us get to the heart of what is really going on. Week Three: Fixing the Fight (include date) Bottom Line: We are tempted to believe we know how God works and how we think we can work Him. In the boxing world, sometimes things aren’t always what they seem. Sometimes the winner is known before anyone walks into the ring. Sometimes the outcome is pre-determined by a person who has manipulated things behind the scene. Sometimes a fighter takes a dive. Sometimes a boxer throws the fight. And if each one of us were completely honest, sometimes we try to work things as well in our fight with temptation. And who or what we are manipulating isn’t the temptation, it’s God. Week Four: Hook and Jab (include date) Bottom Line: We are tempted to pursue the right thing the wrong way. Temptation doesn’t always have to be about doing something bad. In fact, sometimes it’s not the end result that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but how we plan to get there. It’s the shortcut, the path, the compromise. And in this fight, this struggle with temptation, sometimes the punches we throw and the ones thrown at us are simply about pursuing the right things but in the wrong way.

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A product of The reThink Group, Inc. © 2009 Andy Stanley

XP3: MIDDLE SCHOOL SMALL GROUP DIALOG

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THE BATTLE WITHIN (1): THE MAIN EVENT Bottom Line: In every single temptation you face, there is always more at risk than you think. Scripture References: Matthew 3:16-17; Matthew 4:1-3 Temptation—everyone’s favorite topic. But don’t panic yet! You’re goal this week is just to introduce the topic in such a way that students can feel comfortable acknowledging the reality of temptation in their own lives. WARNINGS: Temptation is a tricky small group topic. The purpose of this series is not to get your students to confess personal struggles to the group, but to help students begin to think openly about the dynamic of temptation and the significance that it has on their faith. Most of the “specifics” in this series are deliberately handled in a self-reflective manner rather than asking students to share out loud because we believe that conversations about specific struggles are best when student initiated or when done in one-on-one settings. As your students work through this topic, it may be a perfect time for you to schedule some of those one-on-one conversations you’ve been meaning to have. Create meaningful conversation. Adjust questions as needed, and don’t feel like you need to answer all of them.

1. What is was your absolute favorite food growing up? Pretend someone put that food in front of you and told you not to eat it for thirty minutes. How could you talk yourself into thinking it would be okay to eat it before the time was up? 2. What are other ways that people tend to talk themselves into doing things they know they shouldn’t do? 3. What normally goes through your head when you are being tempted? 4. What are some common temptations for students at your school? 5. Can you think of some long-term consequences for someone who gives into those temptations? 6. How could giving into some of those temptations end up hurting not only the person who gives in, but other people in that person’s life as well?

7. If I said that temptation and trust are linked, would you agree? How are they related? 8. How can a person resist temptation when it happens? (ex: Stop. Think it through. Pray. Remember what God says. Ask a trusted adult or Christian who you trust.) 9. What is something you learned today?

CLOSING CHALLENGE: Remind your students that temptation is really all about our trust or lack of trust in God. Using index cards, have your students write out the phrase: “Temptation, you will not steal my future, you will not steal my faith.” Ask them to put their card in the place where their temptation is strongest, and where they are sure to see the card regularly.

www.xp3students.org

A product of The reThink Group, Inc. © 2009 Andy Stanley

XP3: MIDDLE SCHOOL SMALL GROUP DIALOG

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THE BATTLE WITHIN (2): IN THIS CORNER Bottom Line: Every time you’re tempted, your confidence in God is at stake, not just your self-control. Scripture References: Matthew 4:1-4; Deuteronomy 8:3, 11-14, 17 Most of us evaluate the temptations in our lives based on the immediate consequences and the probability of getting caught. After all, it usually comes down to what makes the most sense for me. But what if we really believed that there was a God who was bigger, and smarter and more capable than ourselves? How would it change the way we view temptation if we acted like the most rational and logical thing was to submit to God rather than leaning on our own understanding? Your goal this week is to help students see how every temptation is an opportunity to trust God or trust only in themselves. Create meaningful conversation. Adjust questions as needed, and don’t feel like you need to answer all of them. 1. What do you remember about our talk last week? Did anyone recognize a temptation they might not have recognized, or respond to a temptation in a different way because of what we talked about last week?

2. Temptation is always a test of our faith. What does that mean? 3. If temptation is a test of your faith, why does God care so much about the way you respond to temptation? 4. Knowing how much is on the line, why do you think Christians still give into temptation? 5. Think of one area of your life where it is difficult for you to really trust God. In your mind answer the following questions: a. Does God care about this particular thing in my life? b. Do I think God is big enough to take care of this area of my life? c. Can God be trusted to take care of this area of my life?

6. Which question(s) did you feel most uncomfortable answering “yes” to? (Leader: see the closing challenge) 7. How does remembering God provided manna to the Israelites in the desert for 40 years remind us that God can be trusted to provide for our daily needs? 8. What can you do this week to help you begin to trust God more? 9. What is something you learned today?

CLOSING CHALLENGE: Listen closely to your student’s answers to question #6. You may want to write them down. This week spend some time praying specifically for each student in the area they identify as most challenging for them (trusting that God is big enough, that God is trustworthy, or that God really cares). You may want to send your students a note with specific Bible verses to help them in this area, or just let them know that you are praying specifically for them.

www.xp3students.org

A product of The reThink Group, Inc. © 2009 Andy Stanley

XP3: MIDDLE SCHOOL SMALL GROUP DIALOG

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THE BATTLE WITHIN (3): FIXING THE FIGHT Bottom Line: We are tempted to believe we know how God works and how we think we can work Him. Scripture References: Matthew 4:5-7; Psalm 91:12; Exodus 17:2-3 As a continuation of last week’s theme, we are still talking about how temptation is related to our trust in God. But this week, we are looking from a specific angle—our temptation to manipulate God. Your goal this week is to help students explore the many ways that we are tempted to manipulate God, and make God much smaller than God actually is. This week has the potential to help many students understand why they may have felt frustrated with God in the past— because they were looking for God to be far less than who He actually is and fit in the box they have for Him. Don’t miss the potential this week to help students examine the way they pray and communicate with God. Create meaningful conversation. Adjust questions as needed, and don’t feel like you need to answer all of them. 1. If you had to explain temptation to someone, how would you define it? 2. Why do you think we get tempted to do things that we know aren’t going to be best for us in the long run? 3. Have you ever chosen to make a bad choice because you were fairly confident that you could get out of the consequences?

4. Have you ever made a poor choice and then assumed that God would bail you out of trouble? What’s the danger in assuming what God will or will not do? 5. If God doesn’t bail you out of a situation, does it mean that He doesn’t care about you? Why or why not?

6. Last week, what did we say was connected to our ability to resist temptation? 7. What do you think it looks like to cooperate with God? Do you think you have ever done that? What do you think it looks like to manipulate God? Do you think you have ever done that?

8. What might prevent you from deciding to cooperate with God rather than trying to get God to act the way you think He should? 9. When you try to get God to give you what you want, or act the way you think He ought to act, how does it affect the way you pray and the way God can relate to you? 10. What is something you learned today?

CLOSING CHALLENGE: This week’s talk is closely related to the way we talk and interact with God. It’s a great time to discuss the way that we pray, and exactly what we are hoping for when we talk to God. You might challenge your students to write down their prayers for an entire week and try to see whether they are listening to God, surrendering to God or trying to manipulate God to get what they want.

www.xp3students.org

A product of The reThink Group, Inc. © 2009 Andy Stanley

XP3: MIDDLE SCHOOL SMALL GROUP DIALOG

www.xp3students.org

A product of The reThink Group, Inc. © 2009 Andy Stanley

XP3: MIDDLE SCHOOL SMALL GROUP DIALOG

XP3

THE BATTLE WITHIN (4): HOOK AND JAB Bottom Line: We are tempted to pursue the right thing the wrong way. Scripture References: Matthew 4:8-10; Matthew 28:18-20; Deuteronomy 6:10-12 When it comes to temptation, there are some things that are just obvious “wrongs.” There are some things that we know not to do. But often, we face temptation in areas related to goals and ambitions that are normal and healthy—and we are tempted to pursue the right thing in the wrong way. This week your goal is to help break the “rationalizing” process behind these cycles of temptation. This is going to take a big picture perspective. Use some time before small group to think about how you may have seen integrity rewarded and dishonesty lead to frustration. You may want to share a story from your own observations. Create meaningful conversation. Adjust questions as needed, and don’t feel like you need to answer all of them. 1. What are three things that you want out of life in the next three years? (Have everyone share) 2. Think about the goals and ambitions of the person on your left. What are some “shortcuts” that might help him or her get what they want—but might not be entirely good choices? 3. What might make a person choose to take a “shortcut” to get to one of these goals?

4. If you choose to take a shortcut, what are you saying about your trust in God? Have you ever thought a shortcut and your trust in God were connected? What could you miss out on if you always choose to do things your own way instead of trusting in God?

5. Listen to this statement: “You’ll never accomplish the will of God by abandoning the principles of God. And you’ll never maintain the blessing of God if you abandon the values of God.” Do you believe this? Have you ever had an experience where you saw this was true? (As a leader, this might be a good time to share a story of how you have seen this work out in someone’s life.) 6. How will this series change the way you think about temptation? 7. What’s one thing you want to do the next time you face temptation? 8. What is something you learned today? What is something you don’t want to forget about this series?

CLOSING CHALLENGE: The mantra for this week is simply this: “Don’t trade what’s important for what’s immediate.” What if every student just committed this statement to memory? Can you imagine how it might effect their daily decisions? Try having your students repeat this line several times. You might even make it a new “favorite quote” in Facebook, or part of your e-mail signature for a while just as a way to remind them over the next few weeks. Also, e-mail the XP document to your students this week and/or print it out and hand it to them. Later in the week, follow up with each student to see if they have had a chance to get to the heart of their temptations, and see if they need help thinking through anything.

www.xp3students.org

A product of The reThink Group, Inc. © 2009 Andy Stanley