Sms For All...

Exams - socha na tha, Classes - kabhi kabhi, Question papers - na tum jano na hum, Copying - yaarana, Maths2 - asambhav, Maths1 - mission impossible, Environmental sciences - pyar mein kabhi kabhi, 1st semester - kuch to hai, 2nd semester - yeh kya ho raha hai, Distinction - kal ho na ho, 1st class - raju bangaya gentleman, 2nd class - dil mange more Fail - phir milenge

What was GOD’s First Reaction when he made a Negro(African)? Socho… Dont know.. Oh! shit jal gaya!! One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani. She told stupid “This was a missed call”

when sum1 touches u & u don’t feel it, its IGNORANCE. When sum1 touches u & u feel it, its LOVE. but when nobody touches u but u feel it, then its KHUJLI;-)

When a girl falls down She is helped by so Many people But When a boy falls down Everybody laughs

When a girl licks Her lips She is thirsty When boy licks His lips He is tharki When a girl smiles She is considered cute When a boy smiles He is flirt Still people say This is men’s world

Judge: why r u arrested? Sardar: for shopping early? Judge: well, that’s not a crime, anyway how early were u shopping? Sardar: before opening the shop…..:p

Life while doing M.b.b.S 1sr 2nd 3rd 4th 5th

yr: yr: yd: yr: yr:

yahoo i’m in Medical college kahan phans Gaya? Help me severe Migraine, sometimes Pagalpan bhi aah soon it’ll b over finaly it’ll b over

House job: i did it Job : i love myself W8 a min ! Something is missing . . . . Ohhh !!! Meri “jawani”:(

Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business? Student: “Father in law”.

Morning

6am To 12pm Noon 12pm To 4pm Evening 4pm To 8pm Night 8pm To 6am Baki Time Tang Mat Karna Kam Karna Hota Hai

Child 2 dentist doctor..!!! Kya dard k baigar bhi daant nikalay ja saktay hain ?? Dr: nahi Child: ager main nikal k dikhao Dr: nikaloo Child: he he he he he he

One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani. She told stupid “This was a missed call”

Teacher To Student: Can You Define Who Is LECTURER? Student : A LECTURER Is A Person Who Has A Very Bad Habit Of Speaking When Someone Is SLeeping

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that is because we aren’t married yet.

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG, is HONEST. A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE. A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.! Full form of maths M=mentally A=admited T=teacher H=harassing S=students

Done>>>Three ants find an elephant asleep. One says,”We’ll kill him!” Other one says,”We’ll break his legs!” 3rd one says: “choro yaar bechara akela hai aur hum teen..!!”:-)

The 1st Advice Of Father To His Son When Son Got His Driving License Made, Is “Remember 1 Thing Son If U’re Going To Hit Anything, Make Sure Its Cheap”

Man 1: “I m Always Delighted When People Stick Their Noses In My Business.” Man 2: “Why, What Do You Do?” Man 1: “i’ve A Company, Make Tissue Papers …” ;->

Have a horrible day without water in ur bathroom,

while soap in ur eyes. Oh!sorry, dis msg is not 4 u. Its only 4 those who do not take bath everyday… Man:Doctor ! My Son has swallowed a key. Doctor: When ? Man:Three Months Ago Doctor: What were you doing till now? Man: We were using duplicate key

7 Angels came 2 Me & asked 4 the most Inteligent, Smart, Nice, Sweet, Noble and Well Groomed Person. So I gave Them Your Address . . . . .. Dekha kesa Ullu banaya Un ko!:D

Taste this SMS Did u feel da taste of ginger? No? Sure? Well….. BANDAR KYA JAANE ADRAK KA SWAAD!!

Open with Love… If I disturb U I am Sorry! But I need To Say I… Love… Disturbing you…

Man : How old is your father? Boy : As old as me. Man : How can that be? Boy : He became a father only when I was born

An old rich man marries a young girl. Interviewer ask to girl-

aap nay in main shadi ke liye kya dekha? girl- ek to inki income, aur doosre inke din kam.

Kash koi “exam result” ka insurance kara deta, Toh har exam ka pehle premium bharwa dete, Pass hote toh thik hai, Varna insurance claim karva lete…

Dil badal na dena sim ki terha Mohabbat low na krna battery ki terha Pyar kam na krna balance ki terha Hamesha meri zarurat mehsus karna charger ki terha

What will Himesh say to magnify a picture..? ? ? ? ? ? ? Zara Zoom Zoom… ;-> Attitude of girls: When a boy sends dirty sms she laughs for 10 minutes, forward dat to her friends n then replies the boy. “i dont like that kind of sms ok?” Why Did Lady Throw Out Her Mother-In-Law? Because Baba Ramdev (Yoga walay) Said “Apni Saans Ko Bahar Nikalo..

Teacher says to student, In Algebra A=B & B=C. It means A=C. Now give relevant example. Student: Sir, I love you & You love your daughter, It means that I love your daughter Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium? Sardar: BA

Professor:For sodium? Sardar: NA Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA & 2 atoms of NA combined? Sardar: BANANA

susti ki intiha, Boy:papa aik glass paani de do Papa:khud le lo Boy:plz de do naa Papa:Ab manga tou thappar maronga Boy:Thappar marnay ao tou paani lete aana:-)

Hitler says, “There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary” Sardar says:Ab bolne se kiya fayidah? “Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na”:D

Wife:What is 10 years with me? Husband:A second. Wife:What is $1000 for me? Husband:A coin. Wife: Ok give me a coin. Husband:Wait a second

Employer: ?In this job we need someone who is responsible.? Applicant: ?I?m the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.?

Wats d height of hope?? It is: sittin in d exam hall, holdin d question paper in hand n tellin ur self “dude,dnt worry. Exams wil get postponed!”

Biwi(Ghusse Main): Tumhare Dimagh Main To Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai..!!

Husband (Pyar Se): To Phr Itni Dyer Se Kha Q Rahi Ho?.??

Wife came home with a goat. Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?” Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!” Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon”

Girl:Me tumse shadi nahi ker sakti isliye ye lo apne love letters or mere mujhe wapis karo! Boy bari c basket samne rakhte howay, Is me se jo jo tumharay hain nikal lo! Soldier:Sir, we are surrounded! Major:Excellent! We can attack in any direction now!

A man sees a fat man sitting in a train cabin. Taunting, he asks: Is this cabin for elephants only! Fat man humbly replies: No!Even monkeys like you can sit!

Pundit:-Tumhare jeevan me 6 larkian ayengi. Bow:Wow, kia bat hai. Pandit:Ziada khush hone ki baat nahin hai. 1 ghar wali or 5 betiyan hain Once there was a mirror which used to kill “LIERS” FRENCH:I think I don’t smoke (killed) AMERICAN:I think, I love Iraq(killed) PATHAN:I think (killed)

Impact of Movies: Teacher :- Who is Mahatma Gandhi? Student:- He is the one who helped Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend!

Doctor: Ye syrup 2 spoon subha, 2 dopahar, 2 raat ko, 3 din tuk lena hay Pathan:apna dawai apna pas rakho hamara ghar me itna chamach(spoon) nahi hy. Devils went to Court to Prove that he is The Most, Cruel & wicked Guy on Earth. But he Failed, He Came Out Angrily & Asked, Yaar ye “KAMALESH BHAI” kon hai? Wife:Please bike taze na chalao mujhey dar lag raha hay. Sardar: Agar tujhy bhi dar lag raha hay to meri tarah ankhein band kar lay.:P

Baap: Itne kum marks..?? 2 thappar lagne chahiyen.!! Beta: Han papa! mein nay to us kameenay mastar ka ghar bhi dekh liya hay…!!

Boy 2 God: Give me a pocket full of money, A job & a big vehicle full of girls. God replied:your wish is fullfilled & He became a bus conductor of KOlkata

university point.:p

Human brain is the most outstanding object in world. It functions 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. It functions right from the time we are born, and stop only when we enter the examination hall.

The devils challenged the angels to a game of cricket.

We have got all the cricketers, said the Angels. Devils:No problem, we have got all the umpires.

1 pathan aero plane me pilot say headphone cheen leta hai. Pilot says! yeh kia ker rahe ho? Pathan says: Ticket ka paisa hum bhare aur gana tum akela suney:p

Sardar:Begum aaj chicken bohut maze ki bani hai kia koi khaas masala lagaya hai ? Sardarni:Nahi bus zara murghi jal gai thi wo main ne BURNOL laga di thi.

Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya, He did translation: 1.Main aam admi nahi hon I’m not a mango man 2.Sarda or garma fruit hain. Colda & hota r fruits 3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay English comes 2 me also 4.do ro do chaar. give and give four. 5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay I belong 2 green pur thousanda:)

A sardar had a child after 3 month of marriage. He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise howa? Wife replied:tumhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua? sardar:3 months. Wife: or meri shadi ko ? Sardar: 3 months

Wife: or bacha kitne month k baad? Sardar:3 month. Wife: total kitne hue? Sardar: oye 9 months & start dancing Balle Balle;->

If dentists make films,?the names will be *Daant ho na ho *Jaanam brush karo *Aa ab clean karen *Kabhi teeth kabhi gum *Humara daant aapke paas hai!:-)

Sardar 2 friend: Guess how many coins I have in my pocket? Friend:If I guess right, u give me 1? Sardar:Oji, I will give both of them

Sardar darvaze pe GUN liye khara tha Wife: y r u standing here? Sardar: Sher k shikar pe ja raha hon Wife: To jao na..! Sardar: Kase jaon baher KUTTA khara hai

1 sardar airhostess se, “Aapki shakal meri biwi si bohut milti hai!” Hostess ne zordar thappar us k mun pe mara.. sardar forun bola:”Adat bhi bohut milti hai”

))))) ( c ‘o ‘:.,-’ ))))) ( c ‘=o ‘:.,-’ ))))) ( c ‘===o ‘:.,-’ ))))) ( c ‘=======o ‘:.,-’ Naak aesi ho jaye gi agar msg karna chora to.:-)

. ‘ 12 ‘ . 9 !/ 3 ‘ . 6 . ‘ . ‘ 12 ‘ . 9 !_ 3 ‘ . 6 . ‘ . ‘ 12 ‘ . 9 _! 3 ‘ . 6 . ‘ still awake? Time to sleep, GOOD NITE + SLEEP TIGHT + SWEET DREAMZ!!!

( / ; ) ( / SO rahe ho KYA? (@ ; ( (@ GHOORO MAT ( I ; ) ( ì AANKHEIN KHOLO ( ì ; ) (é DONO KHOLO (é ; ) (é CHALO sms karo

Captain:Naujawanon come forward. Sardarji does not move. Captain: You did not move forward, why?

Sardarji: oji you sair 9 jawanon, I was the 10 in line!

Do u know whats A B C D E F G? A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ? Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again.

Repeat these lines at least 2 hours everyday after Namaz outside the mosque & u will b a millionare within few Months. “Allah k naam par dey de baba”

Four guys 1 from Harward: 1 Oxford 1 Texas & a Sardar from Pujab university 1 common question: What is the fastest thing in world? Oxford:Light Harvard:Thought Texas:Blink of an eye Sardar:It’s loose motions, because last night I was lying in my bed & before I could blink,think or turn on the lights, it was over!

Load shedding k fawa’id: Generator,UPS & Candle walon ko rozgar ki farahmi. Mobile charge na hone se balance & time saving. Public service sms brought 2 u by KESC. Happy “Summer Season” with Great offers 1.Vapsano Gorom 2.Ghamachi 3.

4.Chandi fata

Roddur

5.Pachpache Gham 6.Mota mota Masha and Long time load shading. enjoy it & Keep crying.

Subh ka har pal Zindagi de aapko, Din ka har Lamha Khushi de aapko, Jahan gum ki hawa chu ke bhi na gujare, Khuda woh Jannat si Zamin de Aapko.

The Beauty of Life does not only depends on how happy you are... But also how happy others can be... Because of You!!! Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice; It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thingto be achieved HAVE A NICEDAY

Best traffic advertisement of the year: Lord Ganesha sayscare for ur head, not everyone gets a replacement like me....! So wear helmet..!

Height of Kanjoosi A Bania's house has caught fire & he is giving miss calls to the Fire brigade! How do you fit 30 marwadis in a Maruti 800 ? Throw a 100 rupee note inside

When sumbody who's deeply in Love with u, tells u that u r Cute, B'ful and Angellic! I agree, thats true, Believe me I swear....Cos LOVE IS BLIND....

In Future If I Become Rich………… I Will Built One Super Delux Mental Hospital And Because You Are My Best Friend.. I Will Give You 100% Discount. It’s My Promise To You Yamraj took God to the Tour of Hell. There Gandhi Ji was dancing with Princess Diana. God: Why did u give Gandhi a very joyful Punishment. Yamraj: Its not a Gandhi's Punishment, its Diana's Punishment... It takes 15 Trees to produce the amount of paper Wich is used by us in writing our Exams... Join me in promoting the noble cause of Not writing EXAMS..Say No To Exams!

A successful man is one, who makes more money, than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Pak PM came to india askng kashmr. our PM askd laloo 2 talk. aftr talk pak pm ranaway. our pm askd him,wat did u say? laloo said TAKE KASHMIR I GIV U BIHAR FREE Master: Kaka teri umar vich Mahatma Gandhi ji B.A. kar chukke si. Student: master ji tuhadi umar vich Bhagat Singh faansi chad chuke

SANTA: Gun leke darwaze pe ruka, wife:kya hua? SANTA: Sher ka shikaar karne ja raha hu! Wife: To jao na. SANTA: kaise jau, bahar kutta khada hai !

Sardarni : Oji.....Sunte Ho...Utho.... Utho.... Raat nu ......2 baje ji Sardar : Kyu Uthaya Menu? Sardarni: Aap Nind Ki Goli Lena Bhul Gaye the

Frndship doesnt hpn wid spl people, people bcm spl aftr becoming friends. Moral? U wr born ordinary, i made u special, o bas bas! thanx di koi lod nahi.

Nurse-aapke judwa bete hue hai, Santa-ye toh hona hi tha wo program hi aise dekhti thi, KBC-2 INDIAN IDOL-2, NAACH BALIYE-2, AWAAZ PUNJAB DI-2,v Dhoom-2.....

MUNABHAI: ye govt drinking or driving saath dono kyo nai karne deti? CIRCUIT: simple bhai, kyunki speed breakar aayega to gilas gir sakta hai na BHAI.

Teacher asks Santa, "What does your father do?" Santa: He runs PWD Teacher: You mean public works Department? Santa: No,I mean Pakorian Wali Dukan

Do U know Why Boys Eager to go COLLEGE:C-Come, O-On, L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each, G-Girl, E-Equally…… Thats why boys go to college