Self Love 6x9 Pb.docx

Self Love Learn How To Love Yourself, Gain Self Confidence And Start Living Your Life.

Written By

Sterling Preston 4th Edition - 2019

Perfect Self Copyright © 2019 Sterling Preston All rights reserved.

This document is geared towards providing exact and reliable information in regards to the topic and issue covered. The publication is sold with the idea that the publisher is not required to render accounting, officially permitted, or otherwise, qualified services. If advice is necessary, legal or professional, a practiced individual in the profession should be ordered. - From a Declaration of Principles which was accepted and approved equally by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations. In no way is it legal to reproduce, duplicate, or transmit any part of this document in either electronic means or in printed format. Recording of this publication is strictly prohibited and any storage of this document is not allowed unless with written permission from the publisher. All rights reserved. The information provided herein is stated to be truthful and consistent, in that any liability, in terms of inattention or otherwise, by any usage or abuse of any policies, processes, or directions contained within is the solitary and utter responsibility of the recipient reader. Under no circumstances will any legal responsibility or blame be held against the publisher for any reparation, damages, or monetary loss due to the information herein, either directly or indirectly

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Table of Contents Introduction ............................................................................ 4 Chapter 1 - Self-Love: What It Is? Why It Is Needed? ........... 6 Chapter 2 - The Importance Of Self-Love ............................ 20 Chapter 3 - Ways By Which You Can Indulge In Self-Love . 28 Chapter-4: The ways thru which you can involve yourself in Self-love..................................................................................55 Chapter 5 - Overcoming Struggles ....................................... 84 Chapter 6 - Laws Of Self-Love .............................................. 94 Chapter 7 – The Importance of Achieving Your Dreams ..... 98 Chapter 8 – Why Pleasing Everyone Else is a Fast Track to Unhappiness ........................................................................ 110 Chapter 9 – The Art of Saying “No” .................................... 115 Chapter 10 – A Hot Topic – Body Image ............................ 123 Chapter 11 - Tips To Practice Self-Love ............................... 132 Chapter 12 – Applying Self-Love At All Times .................... 146 Final Chapter – “I Love Myself.” ......................................... 151 Conclusion ........................................................................... 157

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Introduction Self-consciousness is an art which sometimes astoundingly directs you towards 'An alchemist' of your inside and this quest steers you towards 'self -Love' eventually. This is the reason that world have been deprived of all those best singers who didn't sing but buried along with their songs because they didn't know and love their selves consequently. For an instance, if i say you to enlist all those personnel to whom you love the most. Then analyses the time, you take to write your own name in this list. Now, to be very honestly, answer me a question," if you yourself are placing yourself in least priorities then how can it would be possible that others will love you on superiorities." Yes, it happens only because you don't know Yourself. To attain the others attention and love, first you had to love the man inside of you.

If you want to love yourself but you're feeling difficulty, then you're at right place. This book will lead you to love yourself and to be like shining start you really are thru a systematic way. The Now, it's time to start a most defining journey of your life. Before loving anyone else or obtaining anything productive you must be acknowledged with the self-love. By doing this you would be able to realize that overall preview of life is 4

Self Love brighter. You'll be optimistic, more confident, and hence will be more open to welcome love into your life. So, Relax and be ready to take a journey of self-discovery towards the destiny, ‘the ability to love yourself'.

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Chapter 1 - Self-Love: What It Is? Why It Is Needed? Before proceeding this book, first we people need to know that what is self-love is actually? Because if we people don't know that what's self-love and why we are trying to achieve it then you have no chance to attain your goal(destination) It's basically a regard, a feeling and affection which someone share for himself. There isn't any person in the universe who loves himself which is perhaps a good thing. Loving yourself in a healthy and natural way is far better than loving yourself in egoistic and arrogant way but somehow both have a sharp segregation line. Every man has at least one such thing which he doesn’t like about himself, but he must balance it by knowing your unique and creative plus point which only come out thru self-loving in natural way.

Self-Ranking and Self Love It's is almost a natural phenomenon of men's society that we have divided the community into a pecking order. No one wants to feel inferior than other classes but whenever they consider their particular class as inferior one then definitely, they their feeling of inferiority complex arose. It deteriorates to their sense of self love and thus they can't love their selves. However, this inborn instinct to comparing one another can assist or resist. It assists in a way that when we rank ourselves professionally, economically and even on the number of 6

Self Love achievements then we become able to opt our leaders, hunters and even servants of different species of animal Kingdom (human beings)

Why you need to love yourself. Until or unless you aren't familiar with the importance of selflove, you'll not be willing to put effort into loving yourself inevitably. So, for the sake of putting of your entire efforts into the art 'loving yourself', I'm going to talk about the crux that why it's needed to indulge in self-love which will direct you calmly towards our aim.

Improve your confidence Self-confidence is a most attractive quality a person can have, and it is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures. In our routine life, there are many challenges come upon you in order to check you that either you handle them or not in an appropriate way. Confidence isn't about egotism rather a gentle confidence surely come inside of you but shines thru your relationships, comrades and colleagues indeed. Confidence boosts up by loving yourself and it happens when you know and love your abilities. Before we proceed with the book and take you through the different steps of how to excel in the art of self-love, you need to be well-versed with some of the key dynamics pertaining to what self-love is all about. If you don’t have the first clue what 7

Perfect Self self-love is, and you have no idea why you are looking to achieve it, then you have no hope of ever arriving at that destination. If however you understand exactly what the topic is about, you are opening up your mind to achieving it yourself. Self-love is essentially the regard which someone has for themselves, basically the kind of feeling and the affection that you share for yourself. In order to help you ascertain whether or not you love yourself and if it is ample, I am going to share a questionnaire with you. It’s worth noting at this point that there isn’t one person on this planet who is completely and utterly in love with themselves, and that is probably a good thing – there is a fine line between loving yourself in the most natural and healthy way, and loving yourself in an arrogant way; every single person has something about themselves which they don’t like, and whilst that is normal, it’s important to balance all of that out with the things you love about yourself too, e.g. your shining plus points. Your job here is to dutifully and honestly answer the different questions, as this short survey will act like a real assessment of how much you truly love yourself and the kind of improvement that you really need. If you can identify your trouble hotspots, you can get to work on them much easier than if you have no clue where to start. 

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Do you hold yourself responsible for the troubles

Self Love you often face? 

Do you loathe who you are as a person?

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Do you regret who you are?

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If you were given a chance to be born again, would you like to be born as yourself?

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What is your definition of self-love?

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Do you tend to love others ways more than how you love yourself?

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Do you suffer from body image issues?

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Are you short on confidence?

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Do you take good care of yourself?

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Do you approve of yourself? Is the approval of others more important to you?

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Do you give yourself credit when you do well?

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Does the thought of failure make you feel less worthy?

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How would you rate your self-esteem?

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In terms of priority, how far down the list do you place yourself?

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Do you do everything for other people, and not 9

Perfect Self much for yourself? 

Have any of your past relationships been extremely successful? If not, why not?

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How many things about your personality do you love?

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How many things about your appearance do you love?

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If someone gives you a compliment, do you take it, or do you bat back with a deflecting comment? E.g., if someone says “oh you look really slim in that dress”, do you say “thanks”, or do you say “oh it’s because it’s black, black is slimming”?

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Do others treat you the way you wish they would?

These are some questions which will give you a fair idea of whether or not you love your own self. You do not need me to explain to you what the answers mean, because these are part of your personal journey; generally speaking, negative is bad, and positive is good, you don’t need to be a brain surgeon to figure that out. The questions in themselves are selfexplanatory and they will help you have a clear idea regarding how much work needs to be put in for the sake of loving who you are as a person. This is a journey which is worth every single step, so make sure you do it justice and be as honest as you can be, even if it is down to being painfully honest. 10

Self Love Basically, self-love is mainly pertaining to being honest about who you are and to be happy with your choices. You should not loathe your own personality, you should be accepting of who you are and with the right kind of changes, you will be able to enjoy your personality, and allow others to appreciate it too. Why do we need self-love? Now when I am sure that you understand better what self-love is, this is the perfect time to tell you about importance of selflove. The point is that you can only give 100% to that project which is very clear and understood it in depth. If you don’t understand the point of something, you’re not going to give it your level best. These are the basic reasons that compel me to talk about some of the major factors regarding why you need to indulge in selflove. Right reasons lead you to right results and give you the desired rewards you wish to attain at some level. When you have right reasons about the desired self-love you will advance towards success with rapid pace and this the destination we are targeting. 1. Increase your level of confidence When you understand the logic behind self-love, you will find reasons for it. Here is the advance step that excel your confidence sky high when you are in love with yourself. There

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Perfect Self are a lot of different challenges which life will throw in your way. Life is full of challenges and hurdles, only way to survive and win the race is to be confident and handle those challenges in appropriate manner. To be Confidence you do not have to be about persevering, gentle Confidence is to believe yourself, and this shines through to other people, be it in a relationship, a friendship, or in a working situation. A confident person is happier person, and a happier person is a more eye catching person overall. Loving yourself will make you confident and you will start feeling better. The rule is simple, love yourself, when you are successful in self love you will feel happier than ever and this ability will make you much more positive in your abilities. Confidence is needed in every aspect of life and by choosing to love yourself, you will be able to cherish the benefits of confidence in the up future. It’s correct that many incidents in life can hamper our confidence down a little, and this is absolutely normal, but it should only be as short as a short movie trailor and you must change the channel to recover quickly . 2.

Feel better

It is important that you must understand the fact that beauty comes in Cans I can, you can, we can. There are so many people who are fighting body issues are every day. This increases stress about their own body type, and it becomes 12

Self Love hard to love their own body. That is the reason why you need to learn the art of Self love and you will start a new journey to a much more positive world. Modern day Social media like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram doesn’t help us in this regard. We are regularly being bombarded with pictures of the ‘Super fit Body’ beach body, or the ‘perfect’ size 10 figure, but the bottom line is that nobody is perfect. Those images you see in social media and on the TV have probably been air-brushed, Photo shopped, or they use filters to enhance the beauty effect! Just a simple step can get you through this modern Media beauty war and that is Avoid comparisons at all costs. On top of this, just because someone has a so-called ‘perfect’ body, it doesn’t mean they are happy with who positions inside – you never know how someone is feeling or what they are going through until you have walked in their shoes! 3.

Better productivity

There is no doubt about the fact that when you choose to love yourself, you will find better productivity. Those who are contented in their own place and position, are likely to offer full focus and concentration to their jobs. This is the basic reason why people can improve productivity and enjoy their daily routine. Look at it this way, if you are not feeling well with your confidence, body issues, self-assurance issues, and you 13

Perfect Self basically don’t like yourself very much, are you going to wake up every day with a fresh mind and pride in your step, a will to tick off every item on your to do list? Probably not. If you can learn to love yourself then you are happier, and happier people are motivated, productive, and they achieve success in different aspects of their lives. 4.

Find reasons for Harmonious life

There are too many people who are fighting against issues of self-destruction and depression. When you can love yourself, you will feel how pleasant-sounding life will be. These little changes can trigger the right kind of reaction in your body and this is likely to bring in the much-needed positive change as well. We all need peace of mind and harmony and in order to achieve that, you will have to look out for reasons by which your inner soul is at peace. This is why you need to ensure that you can fall in love with yourself. Feeling contented is a delightful feeling; you do not need to be someone with very high success rate or anyone with extraordinary spiritual powers, you just need to be yourself. you can simply be happy in your own life and in your own skin, and feeling content is a tuneful way to live. Battling issues in your own mind about how you feel, as well as trying to defeat your emotions every day, does not make you feel poised or happy, however if you can attain a degree of self-love, you won’t have these issues to battle with. 14

Self Love 5.

Happiness

It the end, we all know very well that each of us wishes to be happy and relax. Learn the art of happiness in your life and enjoy a joyful life. If you cannot enjoy happiness in your life, nothing is ever going to work out and this will create a lot of disturbance for you.In simple words, happiness is not outside its inside yourself. You must select happiness because it isn’t going to fall into your lap without a little effort and a change of mindset. Happiness springs from your inner-self and you have to make sure that you can love your own self in order to give you the best possible chance to feel happy overall. When you are in love with the person who actually you are, it will help you choose happiness and this, in turn, can bring you a lot of exultation as well. You can never be happy unless you are pleased with your actual position. Whoever you are be contented in it because if you start dangerous comparisons you will also breed negative emotions such as greed, jealousy and anger. This is not a pleasant or helpful road to go down. 6. Self Approval When you have a powerful sense of self love, you learn to admire yourself. Your worries and things that bother you will disappear in the bright light of self -compassion and What used to bother you and make you feel uneasy evaporates in the face of true self compassion and acceptanc. Do you know one of the biggest reasons for failures in the world is that people 15

Perfect Self with different ideas and unique plans do not implement them because of they are worried about other people that what they will think about it. In the pursuit of happiness and love you do not need to list others above yourself. In a world where many people forsake joy based on what others think of them, you will be free and much more bright by the uplifting spirit of self love. Self love will give you a lifelong advantage and higher self esteem that is not dependent upon the approval and praise of others. These are some of the key pleasant surprises to put you on the right way towards achieving self-love, as well as helping you to understand the core concepts of self-love too. Only way to achieve some goals in this field is to test your skills, put an effort in and give your level best. Having said that, you are reading this book and you have got this far, so you must be committed to achieve that destination mark!

You are Not Alone One of the most important things that you must remember on your race to developing greater self love is that “You are not alone”. There are people all around you, some you may like to chat with, and others that you may simply pass by, who are struggling to love themselves more and treat themselves as worthy individuals deserving of happiness.

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Self Love Interestingly, when two people who are not good with their self-love, enter into a close relationship of any kind like (romance, social, business) those feelings of inferiority complex tend to increase. All those spouses who are not in love with themselves may find it difficult to show affection towards their partner, thus argue and anger prevail the house when partner is not up to the standards, they expect him/ her to be. In the Office or in ground, those who lack self love may underperform regularly, or choose to doggedly undermine and compete with others to validate themselves through success. Same is the case with social life, friends and colleagues with a lack of self love may regularly look towards each other for approval and supporting their silently hurt egos. This concept is capable to bring a very positive change in your lives and the lives of people who are around you, but the theory is difficult to understand as most of the people are captivated by their own feelings. The positive change is only one step away, you just must start loving yourself. The process is easy, you must realize that you cannot escape yourself. You can change your car, change friends, your house, friends or even your girl friend but the only thing you cannot change is to live with yourself. There is no escaping You as long as you are breathing. The art of Self Love may take time if you have started watching yourself from others point of view, as we all know that other

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Perfect Self judgments are harsh and negative most of the times to destruct your feelings. Sometimes harshly spoken words can affect your soul and if you accept them, they could affect you in long term. Don’t worry, start new chapter of self-love and erase all negativity created by others. The only thing that matters is You because you are responsible for your bright future and happy life. So, my advice to you before proceeding further with this book is to first change your mind that you really need to indulge in self-love.You must understand that nothing can change around you if you do not change yourself. This change will only come if your desire to love yourself is at its peak and you truly understand the importance of self-love. When you are successful in making your mind up, resolute and firm in your decision, I assure you that there is whole new world waiting for you. The world with success, happiness, and full of joyfulness. There will be no more hurdles in your way because you have started supporting the right person and that is yourself. Once you have made up your mind, the rest of it should fall into place automatically. So, read these points time and again until you can clearly understand why it is important for you to indulge in self-love; it’s perfectly fine if you need to go over certain sections within this book a few times before it really does click in your mind, because it’s not an exact science. Every single person has different thoughts, and the way you 18

Self Love understand things may not be same as some of the other people. Once you are clear with basic sections of this book and you understand them completely you can move on to nest chapters of this book. My advice is that you must give yourself the time and space required to take out the essence of this book. When this will happen, you will be clear in your mind about the benefits of that time you spend reading and understanding it. Learning to change your mind-set can feel difficult at the beginning but believe me its not a complicated thing, it is as simple as 1,2, 3. Having said that, with some simple steps we will be listing here, you will be able to improve and polish your skills. And you should succeed in loving yourself lot more than what you are used to doing in past.

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Chapter 2 - The Importance Of SelfLove Now when You know the reasons as to why you need to indulge in self-love, but here is a question that may raise in your mind that if self-love is so very important than why there is so much ambiguity in this regard? Why there is so much fuss about self-love. You must know the correct answer because if you don’t hold it in high regard, and you don’t understand the reasons for its importance, then you are not going to pay it too much time and attention. I know you are eager to know the answer and solve this query. Here is the solution, of all your questions about importance of self-love. I will be talking about the kind of importance that self-love has. Those who are capable of loving themselves can achieve a lot of great things, and you need to be able to open your eyes to these possibilities in order to be determined to move forward with your journey to self-love. If you can love another person, that should be sufficient, right? This is a question many people ask, but it’s really not simply about loving others. Why is there a need to love your own self? Let us take a look at the different ways you can benefit from being someone who loves themselves to the correct degree:

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Life becomes beautiful

Self Love A beautiful life is a dream that everyone wants to come true. As we all know nothing can be achieved without putting up an effort. When your focus is on making your life beautiful, you must put in the effort. There are people who get depressed at a little incident , and such people find it very difficult to adjust to different situations in daily life. When you are someone from a group of self-loving men who love their inner beauty, you will be able to feel the real peace of mind and happiness. You will be a changed person from someone who is constantly struggling and pulling themselves down. 2.

An optimistic outlook

You will see a positive change in your inner self When you are choosing to be one of self-loving people. Love the internal beauty which is present in your soul, you will feel how the optimism in you can improve too. Someone who accepts life with open arms and open heart can often reap bigger benefits of life with bigger and wide range of opportunities in future. We all know positivity is beautiful especially when you compare it with negativity. Life is always more beautiful than ever when its surrounded by positive minds and positive minds are fed only by positive thoughts. When your mind is positive before approaching any task in your life the job becomes easy to accomplish. History tell us that all those men who are positive and they are contented with who they are and are happy just being themselves can enjoy in almost all aspects

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Perfect Self of their life. As they say positivity breeds further positivity. 3. Less Stress and Problems People who enjoy self-love and compassion generally experience less stress, anxiety and other problems through their lives. When you are not sure about , who you are and low with self-love, it is easier to become anxious on your physical appearance, achievements, the amount of income you make, the reactions of someone else, or you possessed of other concerns and intricacies that arise during the day. Lake of selflove is one of the biggest reasons of anger, anguish and agitation. Those who lack self compassion often take things too personal because they are always judging, evaluating, or being hard on themselves. When the results are not in your favor due to any reason a stronger level of anxiety and stress occurs. People with low level of self-love may blame themselves for results and outcomes even if their actual words or actions had absolutely nothing to do with it. When you don't feel comfortable and satisfied with yourself, it becomes much easier to lash out at anyone who offends, upsets, or disappoints you in any way. As a fact lack self-love can make an individual perceive offenses or put downs that may not even exist. For example, while another person may be looking at you and thinking “ Her eyes are very beautiful ”, or “He is his smile ”, you may be worried about others gawking at your big nose on your face, or thinking that you look old in this dress or too skinny in the 22

Self Love same outfit that another adores. Greater self love helps you give your 100% in all aspects of your life. When you master the art of self-love you will feel a positive change in your daily perspective and how you treat others 4.

Great company

People who are well versed with the art of self-love are proven to be great companions. This will help you feel comfortable. When you are in the company of those who know how to love themselves you will feel better than before because they show you the best of everything. So, you want to be happy than choose them as friends because they are wonderful people with positivity enriched in their minds and souls and are ready to teach you self-love too. No one likes to spend time with boring people everyone loves to be around someone who is positive and really appreciates who he is. Being loved is great but who knows you better than yourself? 5.

Improved confidence

Confident people always perform better than all those who are not good to handle their personality in a correct manner. Just take it simply when you are confident and positive in your approach in your office and you are ready to take on any challenges. You will complete all assignments in time, complete tasks designated to you and everyone around you will also feel the effects of your positive and confident personality. Self-love is one of the major reasons of 23

Perfect Self confidence. Yes, there is a fact that you can not feel happy all the time but you need to force smile on your face and attempt to be positive, as a result your confidence will shine through your face.Those who have no body issues and are extremely happy with their inner-self are always going to enjoy the best levels of confidence; and whilst you might think it’s impossible to have no body issues or problems with yourself at all, it’s really about perspective. understanding that whilst you might not have the six packs or blue eyes, who cares? There are bigger issues on the planet than your falling hair or big belly! Deal with them in a confident manner and that is only possible if you love yourself. 6. Greater Success People who have accepted the gift of self-love by making a firm commitment to do so have greater success in their lives. They are much more successful than any of their co-workers who not well versed with the art of self-love. When you are good at loving yourself, you will experience high rate of success as it brings higher self-esteem and higher confidence levels. People who love themselves aren't afraid to run the extra mile to reach the victory stand, because they feel that they deserve it. When you trust your abilities and feel confident in your abilities you can do anything in your life and achieve any goals you set for yourself. The only difference between a successful man and unsuccessful man is that victorious people never give up. Failures and setbacks are a part of life and those who 24

Self Love continue their journey despite all these speed breakers are always supposed to reach the destination. This is what selfbelief can do to your confidence and self-belief is only possible if you love your-self. When you feel that you deserve the best in life, you are more likely to attain it. Going after success because you feel worthy has the power to totally transform your life. This also effects the lives of those who area around you and interact with you. 7. Pass it On Now when you are fully able to understand the paybacks of self-love you will be able to pass its to pass it on to others. Learning the lessons of self love will give a positive feeling that is reflected in the your surroundings wherever you are in office or home. Spreading this self-love cloud to others is quite easy to implement. You just need to be very kind to them, say kind hearted words to cheer them up, treat them fairly, and be motivated and a source of motivation for others. This is the transitional period, if you are successful in changing yourself with the help of self-love, you will see an increased rate of influence in your family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers. This is just the beginning of new happier, selfmotivated world around you. Unfortunately, if you lack selflove and compassion, there are chances that your parents or family members would have the same issues as well. Luckily you don’t have to pass it on to your children that follows you. Being parents of children or a guardian of youth, you must

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Perfect Self teach them the importance of having self love. Teaching children how to love themselves is extraordinarily critical in today's word. If you are successful in passing on this feeling of self-love into your children, I assure you that your children will be much more confident than their school mates. This feeling is never ending process it lasts forever. When they can understand their worth and capabilities they will seek for relationships and companies equally talented and confident young men who validate their sense of self-love. Their performance in difficult times and tough conditions would be better because they will value their personalities and have better control over their actions. The world can be harsh but children with better understandings of self-love can perform wonderfully well as compare to some of their companions who are not blessed with this great gift. These are the best ways by which self-love can benefit you. Yes, it’s true that this is not a gift which you can attain immediately , you will have to adopt hundreds of different things and techniques to master the art. But I assure you this is possible with the help of will power and giving yourself right amount of time. But, once you exactly know about your capabilities regardless of who you are , which position you are working at, your bank balance, and any other thing that is comparable to others, you start loving and improving your inner shine. Some of you may be a bit worried at this stage but no need to do so. Now we will 26

Self Love talk about the simple and systemic methods which will help you excel in the art of self-love and it is a guarantee. I Most of you would be eager to know the trick behind it. For now, the trick here is to know that you should not rush things too much; adopt proper procedures and adopt thing according to system. Be patient in all your actions because this will improve your abilities as a person. Before you proceed further in this book, just find a peaceful place and close your eyes for a moment and take a deep breath to inhale a lot of oxygen. Just think that you are awesome and all the positivity in the world is getting inside your body with that inhale. Now tell yourself loudly that you are awesome and believe in your own words. It may take some time for belief to sink in and you must wait for it to happen. Go outside, somewhere nobody is going drive a car or a cool place where you can do whatever you like, open your arms wide, look up to the sky and shout it! Tell yourself how amazing you are! Believe your words. Feel all that self-belief is increasing and self-doubt and worry seep away. Realize yourself that you are really important, amazing and unique in your own way. When you do so, it will set the right foundation for the rest of the steps to be executed into action. As I told you it takes time to belief yourself, but you must Give yourself the right amount of time to make the adjustment and let yourself fall in love with yourself. Adopt the things step by step and trust me, you will love both the effort and the final result. 27

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Chapter 3 - Ways By Which You Can Indulge In Self-Love Now that you know why self-love is so important, I am going to share the details of how you can work on self-love. When you are looking to improve how much you love yourself, there are a lot of different things which you need to do. Radical Self Love, and You With such a changing world that we live in that is so judgemental, competitive, and can even be cruel at times, radical self-love is necessary to be healthy in the various types of environments that exist on earth. Having radical self-love means that you love yourself no matter what is happening, what you have accomplished, or even if you have done something wrong. It is important to have radical self-love so that you are not dependent on someone else loving you and approving of you. It can be comforting to know that someone else cares and approves of you, but it is not necessary for you to love yourself. This is a fact that you must allow to get down in your system and your soul if you want to receive true happiness and grow in self-love in an incredible way. For anyone who has spent their lives neglecting themselves, they are not truly loving themselves. Behind closed doors and in the recesses of your mind, loving yourself in a radical way no matter what can seem scary, crazy, or even impossible at times. What is 28

Self Love wonderful about radical self-love is that if you have always struggled with your self-esteem, it can dramatically transform the way you see yourself and the rest of the life you have. Take the step to love yourself radically, come into control, and change your life forever. The Power of Reinvigorating Yourself When you are trying to grow a stronger sense of self love, looking your best at all times makes you feel better. The fact is people who love themselves enjoy taking good care of their bodies. They do now wait until they are nearly falling out from being overburdened for weeks, months,and even years on end. Take good care of yourself means watching out for your health, working out to stay in shape, and eating foods that nourish your body instead of weighing it down. There are a great number of people that take time to take care of other people and tend to their families, but never spend any real time on themselves. If you are struggling in the area of self love, this is not an action that you want to continue to take. Not taking care of you means that you devalue yourself on some level. There must be balance in order to be happiness. It is nothing wrong with caring for others, but there comes a time when you must care for yourself as just as much as you care for other people. You have a responsibility take care of you and pamper yourself sometimes, or you will start to feel neglected inside and look neglected on the outside. Never cheat yourself out of good and fair treatment, because you will

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Perfect Self know. When you cheat yourself by not honoring your body and taking care of it, it causes you to have low self esteem and affects self-love- whether you know it immediately or not. You are a person too and you are just as important as anyone else, and always remember that. There are many ways that you can start pampering yourself and reinvigorating yourself today. Here are some ways that you can show yourself a little more love and boost your sense of awareness: 

Take time to relax. Too many people never give themselves ample time to relax and recover from the day's duties and stresses. If you want to treat yourself better, you must take the time out to relax everyday. Relaxation makes you healthier, and more apt to face the day struggles and the new day ahead of you with a fresh perspective.

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Give yourself a breather. Did you know that taking the time to breathe is significant for you health? It is easy to take shallow breaths throughout the day instead of taking the time to breathe deeply. When you breathe shallow breaths, you can forget to deeply breathe and make yourself tired and less active in many ways. When we become anxious for any reason, you are more likely to take short breaths. In fact, it can make you feel more tired, even if you are not. You can start by breathing in for ten seconds, holding the breath in for ten seconds,

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Self Love and then slowly release it for a final ten seconds. Aim to breathe down into your abdomen when you are completing this exercise. Doing this on a regular basis throughout the day can help you stay distressed and calm, even when circumstances may dictate otherwise. 

Meditate daily. Meditation is a very powerful way that you can relax yourself, free your mind of thought pileup, and avoid becoming overstressed.When we do not give ourselves time to properly think and clear the mind, it can result in higher levels of stress that can't be damaging to our sense of self love and overall stability. Science has proven that stress is one of the chief causes of creating disease and disorder in the human condition. With this revelation, the importance of meditation for stress relief cannot be understated. Some people prefer to pray or chant doing meditational periods, while others simply prefer to sit in the silence. No matter what your choice method is for meditation, engaging in this process on a regular basis can help you maintain a clear mind set and place things in better perspective.



Perform exercise daily. A stagnant body can lead to stagnancy in the mind. When you are trying to reprogram your thoughts for self love, it is beneficial to keep your body agile. When you engage your body and mind and physical activity,

the results can be

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Perfect Self astounding. On your path to higher self love, participating in a consistent exercise routine can truly help you remain healthy for life. 

Aromatherapy can help you. The art of aromatherapy has been used for thousands of years by cultures all over the world. With the help of the most compatible scents of the moment, you can manipulate your emotions

and

alter

your

mood

immediately.

Aromatherapy as one of the ancient are that allows you to affect your body by using powerful scents. You can use lavender and chamomile to help yourself rest better at night as well. If you like energy, scents like cinnamon, cypress, sage, peppermint, and spiced apple can

perk

you

up. Bergamot, rose,

jasmine,

frankincense, sandalwood, myrrh, and lemon verdana can ease the pangs of depression and anxiety. 

Try showering or bathing. Relaxing in the bath and using Epsom salts or aromatherapy candles can be a powerful way to relieve yourself and pamper your body. While you are bathing, playing relaxation music or instrumental tunes can help you feel better, no matter what has transpired throughout the day. While some may feel comfortable soaking in the tub for hours, it is not necessary to reinvigorate your body. You can also use your shower to do a similar method. One way of doing so it's a shower for a third of the time in hot to

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Self Love warm water. For about 30 seconds, switch to a colder temperature of water. After this period is up, switch back to the warm water setting for a few minutes. Repeat the process. This switch uniquely provides a light shock to the system that can be comforting and de-stressing. By altering the temperature of the water back and forth, you can literally awaken your body and refresh yourself in a powerful way. 

Get some fresh air in nature. If you are struggling with any type of negative emotions, taking a walk to get some fresh air can be a great way to relieve your stress. Remaining indoors can be especially debilitating to people who are depressed, grieving, and sad. As a matter of fact, these feelings can cause you to stay indoors and shy away from going outside and encountering other people. However, this method is the opposite of healing. You can perk yourself up by gawking at the beauty of nature and simply walking outside and interacting with others.



Reward yourself. Often we are quick to notice how others are doing well, but we are less than likely to applaud ourselves. It is important to take the time to reward yourself here and there if you want to feel better and show yourself some love. The reward does not have to be expensive in order to be effective in your life. You may want to treat yourself to a special dinner, a glass of

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Perfect Self wine, or you may decide to do something major for yourself, like visit the spa or massage parlor. When you achieve long term goals, you may want to even go on a fun vacation, or buy yourself a luxurious gift. Purchasing a special gift for yourself for a job well done can do wonders for making you feel super, because you are taking the time to acknowledge yourself in a noticeable way. When you do this, it can make you feel better for every stage of goal accomplishment. The methods of indulging in self love does not stop here. Next, I am going to give you a systematic list of things you need to work on, as this will help you improve who you are as a person and the kind of benefits which you can reap by being a much more positive and confident person as a result. 1.

Always start Positive

The way you start your day is really important. You have to be sure that you are putting the right emphasis on starting your day on a positive note. When you begin your day on a fresh note, it will help you be much more confident about the rest of it. So, you have to make it a habit to start everything on a fresh and positive note, kissing goodbye to the troubles of yesterday before you close your eyes in the previous evening, and being thankful for opening your eyes that morning. Every morning when you wake up, you need to think of a positive thing, an affirmation of sorts. When you start with a 34

Self Love positive thought, it infuses the right kind of understanding in you. The right thought can take you to places, and whilst some of us find it hard to have a great first happy thought, over time if you practice it then it will become much easier. In such cases, you will need to work on it hard, but nothing good ever comes of things that fall into our laps easily; things we work hard for are always worth it. Think of any kind of memory which brings you happiness. Chase that thought and let the feeling sink in. When you let this happen, you will be able to see how a good thought attracts a really good day. On top of this, positive affirmations over time will help you see things in a more positive light overall, so when you encounter a slightly irritating problem during the course of your day, you will be able to overcome it with a shrug, rather than a melt-down. 2.

Morning yoga

Morning yoga is a fantastic way to start the day and focus your mind for the hours ahead. Yoga is one of the most beneficial exercises you can do, and it is sure to yield the right kind of output if you work hard at it. In recent years, yoga has grown in popularity as a transformational method for developing stronger health,wellness, and full body release. There are a lot of people who have opted for yoga, simply deciding to give it a try, and when they did so, it brought in a healthy change in a lot of aspects of their lives, including increased flexibility, 35

Perfect Self better heart function, more energy, great concentration, and a more positive outlook on life. You will find people honing their body, whilst also cleansing negative toxins and harmful energy at the same time. When you devote an hour to yoga, it will help you understand your inner mind. When you want to love yourself, you will need a calm mind and peaceful surroundings, which is what makes yoga so perfect. Many also consider yoga to be a deeply spiritual activity that allows you to build deeper connections with yourself. To start with, try some basic yoga lessons, and when you have become well-versed with it, it will help you improve the overall circulation in your mind, as well as in your body. When you want to love yourself, you will first need to have a healthy body, because you can’t focus on the positives in life if your body is not running smoothly. With an unhealthy body and an unhealthy mind, you won’t be able to indulge in the right kind of love. However, if you focus on health and wellbeing, within a month or so, you will be able to enjoy the key differences in your life. 3.

Healthy eating

You should also make it a point to go for healthy eating, because this will help your overall health and wellbeing, the way you feel on the inside, boost your energy, and basically make you feel a whole lot better about everything. When you 36

Self Love are looking to love yourself, your health assumes gargantuan importance, and you have to ensure that your diet is designed to give you the best starting point. When you are feeling good about your health, your overall image and positive outlook are going to improve significantly, you only have to try it for a week or so to feel and see the differences. If needed, you could consult a dietician for help and advice, and even check out some healthy tips on efficient eating – the Internet is packed with handy advice and tips on this. With the right kind of dieting and regulated healthy eating, you will be able to get the perfect body shape for you; it is however important to note that what is the perfect shape and size for you, might not be for someone else – avoid comparisons! Whilst I do not believe in body shaming, but it has been seen that those who have a perfect body figure are a lot more confident overall. Confidence and self-love go hand in hand and this is why you need to focus on getting the perfect body shape for you, which will do wonders for your own personal image, and wellbeing. 4.

Journals

It is extremely important to ensure that you can write daily journals. When you inculcate this habit, it has a lot of perks. Maintaining journals are going to help you immensely as you will be able to explore more about your strength and 37

Perfect Self weakness, and identify any points which need extra work. If you don’t have a clue where to start with your journey towards self-love, identifying areas to work on in this way is the best starting point. With the right idea about what the strength and weakness are, you will be able to enjoy the real concept of self-love. When you are writing journals, you should mainly reflect the different events of the day. When you are reflecting on the events, it will help you know the possible areas of concern; write down how you felt, what you thought, and how you think others saw you – this will show you where you can concentrate your efforts. When journals are true and reflect the main events of your day, it will help you cherish the things that have happened and the things that should not have occurred. With the right insight into all these details, you will be able to improve your overall outlook and perception towards life. Don’t beat yourself up about things that have happened and the way you felt as you’re writing it however, because the point of this exercise is to look over and improve, not give yourself a hard time. I have seen countless people whose journals helped them in documenting the whole journey of falling in love with themselves. Let your journal be the reason for finding out the key things you love about yourself, whilst also showing you the 38

Self Love areas to target your efforts towards. Sometimes, the best habits will help you become a better version of you. 5.

Self-help books

Reading is a great thing. You need to understand that self-help books can give you a new perspective on life, whilst offering you help and advice at the same time. There are a lot of us who are battling hard to find the best ways to fall in love with ourselves, and when you are trying to understand the core concepts of self-love, you will need to go through some of these books for a little background information, and a few new ways to focus your attention. There is no dearth of self-help books, you can find them in all genres and so you need to make it a point to pick the ones which you will enjoy reading. Do not waste your time reading books which you won’t enjoy. You can learn a lot of lessons from the best books, and it’s not hard to find them either; check out the internet for the greatest range. So, go through these lessons and learn about how they can help with some of the key concepts. You should ideally go on a journey of self-evaluation first of all, as this will give you a clear picture of how you need to change and what you need to do to adapt to the changes. With every book you read, do not just skim the content. Your goal needs to be to absorb the lessons in an apt manner and to implement them in a timely way too. 39

Perfect Self 6.

Good company

When you are with people, it brings in a lot of changes. So, your aim should ideally be to make sure that you can surround yourself with good people. When you are with like-minded people, it will help you be sure that you are thinking the right things. Think about the people in your life who you always laugh with, the ones who always make you smile – these are the ones you need to focus your time with. Now think about the ones who drag you down, the ones who make you tired simply by being around them; these are negative people, and these are the ones you should limit your time with. There is a famous saying, that a man is known by the company he keeps. Of course, when you are spending too much time with someone, their opinion is going to matter a lot and it will influence who you are as a person too; for that reason, you need to surround yourself with people who make you feel good. These people will give you the much-needed direction in life. Do not rush when it comes to choosing the people you are with. When you are happy and surrounded by the right people, you will be able to enjoy the right company, and so the love you have for yourself is going to improve by leaps and bounds. 7.

Forgiving yourself

I believe that one of the hardest things which you can do is forgive yourself. There are so many of us who are so busy doing a lot of things, and not everything is going to work out, 40

Self Love or happen as you had planned – you need to have clarity and understanding of this fact. Be mindful of everything you do, and if you find that you are being too hard on yourself, you should forgive your inner-self immediately. Forgiving oneself needs the right kind of support. If you hold onto old grudges against yourself, how are you going to benefit in the future? How will that make you feel good? It won’t! When you know that brooding over old matters is not going to help you out, you can begin to identify the old issues that are dragging you down, forgive yourself, and get over it, moving onto a brighter and baggage-free future. Regrets, missed chances and troubles are going to take you nowhere. So, you have to learn how you can forgive yourself, Sometimes, doing the simplest of things can help you forgive your mistakes. Here are a few tips you can always implement. • Remember that when you want to move ahead and achieve something, you will first need to lock the doors on your past. Make the decision to not let your past define you in any way today. •

Do not hold on to old stories that carry no meaning. You

need to start afresh when the need arises. As you create new memories, you can start telling a different story that will change how you view yourself from this day forward. • Forgiving yourself requires a lot of patience and skill. You

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Perfect Self have to be sure that you can forgive not just others, but yourself too. • Self-love emanates from the need to forgive yourself for the things that may have happened in the past. Turn the page in your life, and be willing to see the beauty of the present moment. When you are willing to let go of all the things that may have impacted you in the past or can impact in future, then you will be able to move on. 

Realize that you probably did the best that you could at the time. When you know how to do better and realize it is the right choice, then you can do better.

Remember that here are things you have no control over, and rather than holding grudges for these, you should forgive yourself. With these simple tips, you will be able to forgive yourself and so you can be at peace – you owe yourself this for your future. 8.

Be expressive

Remember, you need to freely express yourself, because if you keep everything pent up inside, you’re not going to be able to feel free to either be productive in life, or to love yourself either. There is a pressing need to unleash the truly creative side of yourself, and as an individual, you may have a lot of creative skills. The idea is to truly find out which is your best skill and once you are aware of what your passion is, you

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Self Love should spend time on these skills. When you are indulging in your creative hobbies you will be able to freely express yourself and this is going to help you be yourself; on top of this, you are cultivating happiness, and we know that being happy is key to feeling good about yourself. When people are at ease and are happy with how they are spending their time, it is going to help them enjoy themselves. In order to love yourself, you need to be happy and when you are giving time to your hobbies, you will surely enjoy the whole thing so much more. As you can see, it is all linked into one single chain, and you need to express and enjoy yourself in an apt manner. 9.

Seek happiness

Remember that you have to create your own happiness. Happiness isn’t something which will always come to you, or something which is given to you. There will be a lot of times when you will need to find out how to be happy. You should not try too hard because happiness has to come naturally to you. Ideally, when you think about happiness, what is it that you truly feel? Do you think that happiness is a feeling which is really important in life? Are you aware of some of the ways by which you can create your own happiness? These little things are extremely important and you need to pay heed to it. When you are willing to seek happiness, you will be able to slowly 43

Perfect Self cherish the pleasure which will emanate out of it. Here are some simple pointers for you to understand the true dynamics of how you can seek happiness. • Happiness is a choice. When you make the choice that you want to be happy, you will be able to seek it. No matter what happens in life, you can still choose to be happy and pursue joy daily. •

Happiness is also a mindset thing. First of all, you need to

train your mind and make it happy. Learn how to train your mind and find out the best ways by which happiness will reach out to you. • Happiness is all about being comfortable in your own skin. Do not fret about who you are and the kind of life you have lived. When you are happy about these aspects, it will help you be a lot more free-minded, and therefore happier too. • Happiness can be created when you are willing to make the most of life. Consider this life as a gift and make sure that you cherish it to the fullest. When you are happy about the life you live, it will allow you to be happy about the whole thing, 10.

Self-introspection

The next thing which you need to do is opt for selfintrospection. You need to reflect on the beauty of the inner mind. Self-introspection doesn’t necessarily mean that you

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Self Love are going to think of all the bad things that have happened to you. When you are looking to spend some time on selfintrospection, you should try and ponder about the different roads of life. Self-introspection can be one of the healthiest exercises and this is why you need to make it a point to devote ample hours to it. When you are performing self introspection, these are the steps you need to follow. •

Think of how your day went and the possible problems and good points.

•

Now, spend some time basking in the glory of happiness that the day has to offer.

•

Believe that there will be better tidings in future for you.

•

Think of the areas where you need some development and make a list of how you wish to change it.

•

Make a goal sheet wherein you will list down what you expect from the next day and so on.

•

Think about the alternative possibilities of the day, and what may have happened if you’d done something differently. How do you feel about those alternatives? If you like them, how could you achieve them next time?

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Perfect Self •

Every day, repeat this exercise and ideally, your journal should be written based upon these details and analysis.

With the right and systematic self-introspection, you will be able to get the drive to love yourself. Loving yourself is kind of an exercise which is going to take a lot of time. I have seen umpteen people improve their life simply by spending the right amount of time on their own self, and this means being patient, and not expecting too much too quickly. Don’t become downhearted if it doesn’t happen overnight, this is a journey which is going to take effort and time, but it is one which is worth it. Self-introspection can aid in improving your overall outlook a great deal. Some of us do it the wrong way and so you need to be skilled enough to find out how to handle it in the way it is supposed to be. 11.

Travel

Traveling is considered to be one of the best hobbies and pastimes. When you spend your time traveling, you should be able to enjoy the pleasure it will generate. By choosing to travel, you can unleash your inner feelings, connecting with the sound of your inner soul. With the right synchronization, you will be able to cherish the bliss of your mind. With the perfect travel plans, you will be able to find what you truly seek, whilst also seeing some amazing sights at the same time! 46

Self Love Seek the right things and chase the right goals in life – this should be your mantra. Every time you travel, you will be able to enjoy the kind of pleasure that it will give you. There is no dearth of places where you can go, and you can go alone or even travel in groups. Whatever you decide, you should go with the flow. When you go all alone, it will help you rediscover your inner-self. With the right discovery, it will help you find out who you are and this can give you more incentives to opt for self-love. If you head off in a group, you can meet new friends and boost your self-worth and social life at the same time. Try to plan various solo trips and visit a wide variety of places. You don’t always have to go to an exotic place and experience a lavish experience. It is of utmost importance that you travel to the kind of unexpected places that will let you have a brand new perspective towards your life. It is not about the destination, sometimes the journey matters more than anything else. When you are traveling, try to interact with others and know their story. The more you will know about them, the more blessed you will feel. This will make you start looking at the world around you with a new pair of eyes, and you will feel more comfortable and will start loving yourself all over again. Every time you would come back from a trip, you will realize that you are a brand new person. The change will be positive and soon you

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Perfect Self will get addicted to the idea of traveling and finding yourself all over again. Why do you think that people head off backpacking, and once they return they are already planning their next trip? Travel is contagious and it is addictive – the world is huge, and it is full of amazing possibilities and experiences; once you feel proud of yourself for doing one thing, your self-worth is boosted, you will feel happy, and this kick starts that whole circle of self-love we have been talking about. 12. Be grateful Every night, before you go to the bed, don’t forget to count your blessings. You can’t fall in love with yourself if you always crave for the things you can never have. Instead of seeking for the kind of materialistic things that could be washed away with the passage of time, try to count the things that really matter in your life. You should make yourself understand that unlike things, people can’t be replaced. If you have the company of good people in your life, then that should matter more than the collection of any other thing. Instead of collecting things, start collecting long-lasting memories. Create the kind of moments that would stay with you for the years to come. Spend more time with your friends and family as it will make you experience happiness in its most unadulterated form. Try to thank the universe for giving you 48

Self Love such a great life. If you have good health and can afford all the basic amenities, you should consider yourself blessed - there are millions of people in the world who don’t have access to food, water, or shelter. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have and how you can get a few things that you like, try to be grateful for what you already have, and thank the universe for it. It doesn’t matter if you are religious, spiritual, or atheist, everyone can see the universe. Thank the force for being in your favor. Thank the God that you believe in for giving you such a beautiful life. The secret of happiness is to be grateful. The more you thank the people and the greater force, the closer you will be to your share of happiness. You will realize how great your life is and you will stop taking it for granted. You will find you would rather fall in love with your life, and you will be happier for the long haul. 13. Stop looking for perfection One of the main things that stop us from being happy is that we always try to look for perfection. Most of the people these days are not able to love themselves because they don’t accept themselves the way they are. If you want to be comfortable in your own skin, take the following suggestions seriously. 

Stop comparing yourself to someone else. Everyone has their own journey and you can’t get jealous of someone

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Perfect Self else, just because they got everything faster or better than you. Comparisons breed unhappiness, bitterness, jealousy, and a whole host of other negative emotions which do us no good whatsoever. 

Not everything that glitters is gold. People might let you know that they have a great life, but the chances are that they could be feeling terrible from inside. Never compare your choices with others. Every human being is different and can’t be compared to anyone else. Nobody really knows what goes on behind closed doors.



Make peace with your own body. You might not like your skin, your height, your voice, or anything related to you, just because people around you might have said something to you when you were a child. We live in a society that has given us a false blueprint of perfection. You need to stop changing yourself in order to look or sound in a particular way. Stop worrying about what people think of you and never go with the standard rules of society; everyone’s idea of beautiful of different, what you deem to be amazing could be someone else’s idea of boring!



Moving on to our next point - no one in this world can define beauty. It is a subjective term and the perception of beauty might change from one group of people to

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Self Love another. They say that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. The next time you see your own reflection in the mirror, instead of looking at your flaws, try to see the kind of things you like the most in you. If you can’t see anything at first, then look a little deeper. Stare a little harder or even get a better mirror. Because there is something beautiful in every one of us and you only need to notice it. This could take time, because we are pre-programmed to see negatives, simply because that is the way we have developed over time, but as you look harder and look for longer, you will start to see the glittering positives much easier. 

There is no such thing as perfection. Everyone around you is flawed – including you, and you know what, that is absolutely fine! The most beautiful things in this world are always broken and even if you are imperfect, it doesn’t mean that you are not beautiful. Don’t hide your imperfections or cover your flaws. Wear them gracefully and never be apologetic about them. Your imperfection makes you who you are and never try to change yourself to please someone else. Never try to fit in or act in a certain way because you think that is how perfection should be.

Forget about attaining perfection and be as much natural as you can. Don’t hide with the layers of masquerade that you

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Perfect Self might wear to have a perfect image, accept that there is nothing wrong with being who you are. If someone doesn’t appreciate you, then it is not your problem. Stop bringing a change in you only to please someone else. You are who you are and that should be more than enough – sing it loud and sing it proud, “I am what I am!” 14. Find happiness in your company If you want to love yourself, then sooner or later you need to find peace in loneliness. You can’t expect anyone else to truly understand you before accepting who you are. It is always a good thought to surround yourself with the people you love, but every once in awhile, you need to make some time for yourself. Maintain your own space and don’t let anyone else invade it. Every day, do something for yourself. It could be either reading a thoughtful book, watching your favorite series, or even taking yourself out for a dinner date. There is no harm in spending some time with yourself, because that is exactly how you would get to know you. The process of getting to know yourself is often harder than knowing someone else, as you might protect your inner self with various layers. People are just like onions and in order to know who you really are from the core, you need to peel yourself one layer at a time. You’ve got to do it by spending some time alone in order to know who you really are, and if 52

Self Love you find it hard to spend time alone, then do it in baby steps, and don’t dedicate large chunks of time to isolation. On top of this, don’t depend on someone else to make you happy. Always be open to the idea of love, but stop chasing your fairytale romance to get your happy ending. If you are meant to have your “forever and for always”, then it will come to you at its own pace. Don’t allow anyone else to play with your feelings, and instead be strong and confident. There are a lot of people out there who find it hard to remain alone. You might need to take it one step at a time. After a while, you will certainly get addicted to your own company and will soon realize that loneliness can let you achieve sheer bliss at times. Never hesitate to be alone and stop chasing for people or things. If it’s meant to happen, it will take place on its own course. Meanwhile, you can always find happiness by being alone. 15. Don’t let your life get monotonous Attaining self-love is one thing, but retaining it in the long haul is a completely different story. In order to make sure that you fall in love with yourself every single morning, you need to keep reinventing yourself. Life can become monotonous at times and you might start losing your charm. Convert your mundane life into something magical and keep experimenting with yourself to retain that sheer bliss in your life.

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Perfect Self When was the last time you did something for the first time? You need to really ask yourself this question to figure out how badly you want self-love. You need to crave for it and in order to get it, you are required to make an effort. Don’t just drag yourself through life, live each and every bit of your life to its best. Always be excited to live and welcome every morning with a smile on your face. Be grateful to have your own company and keep reinventing yourself with the passage of time. Have no regrets and create everlasting memories on the go. This might sound difficult to do every single day of your life, but it doesn’t have to be something huge every single time, it can be as simple as trying to cook a new dish for dinner one night, or starting a new book that you always wanted to read, but never got the time. Small baby steps add up to huge leaps. Now when you already know how to find self-love, we are sure that the road won’t be that bumpy. Concentrate on every aspect that was discussed earlier in this chapter and give it a thought. You are not supposed to rush. Take it one step at a time in order to fall in love with yourself in the most effortless manner.

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Self Love

Chapter-4: The ways thru which you can involve yourself in Selflove Until now you came to know that why self-love is important. Now, I'm going to tell you that how you'll get involve yourself in it and in meantime when you'll be looking at how much you love yourself then there are multiple things which you need to know.

Revolutionary Self-Love, and you. In a revolutionary world, which is so subjective and competing, and where competition is sometimes so cruel that it becomes so compulsory to indulge in self-love in different kinds of environments on earth. It means love yourself apart from it that what you have achieved, what you have lost and what has been going on, even if you've done anything wrong. Yet, it's sometimes soothing to know that someone else cares of you but love for your own self doesn't mean for you. So, it must be very compulsory for you to love yourself in an unbelievable way by diving into your own soul in quest of yourself if you want to feel true happiness. It's a very interesting thing about revolutionary love is that if you have always struggled with your self-respect, it will entirely transform your life. 55

Perfect Self

The power of Resurrect yourself: Whenever you have a powerful sense of loving yourself, it will lead you to feel better taking care of your bodies. You will definitely manage your diet in order to nourish your bodies properly. There are number of people who manage time for their families and other relations, but they don't take any time for their selves. They spend whole of their lives in taking care of others by under looking their own-selves. Please! Don't do this, don’t cheat yourself. You must at-least regard yourself, your body in order to upgrade your self esteem Because if you'll not go with it then you'll lack self-honoring which

will

result

deformation

of

your

body

which

consequently affect your habit of loving yourself. There are multiple ways thru which you can start pampering yourself and resuscitate yourself today. Here are some tricks which will help you to upgrade yourself and about affection for yourself. 

Time to relax: There are many people who take their selves for relax in order to give their mind rest but irregularly. So, if you want to expect some fresh perspectives and outcomes

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Self Love

from yourself then take proper rest to your mind and body. 

Replace deep breaths with solo shallow breaths: sometimes it happens that you take a shallow-breaths after spending whole of a fatigues and stressed day but replace that breathe with some deep breathes. Hold your breath up to abdomen for 10 seconds then release it for 10 seconds and so on. Repeat this action severely in order to give a proper refreshing time to your mind and body.



Meditate daily: Science has proved that stress leads to anxiety and disorder. And meditation is a powerful and useful way to relax your mindset and soul throughout which will be purified from all kind of ambiguities and amalgamations respectively. You may choose your own way to ruminate yourself but do it regularly and properly by fulfilling all the prerequisites of it. It will definitely benefit you.



Do your exercise daily: A well-known proverb is that a sound body have sound mind.

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There is also not any doubt in the fact that physical exercise exhausts negative hormones from mental of human body. So, exercise is very crucial for upholding of body and mind equilaterally. 

Aromatherapy can help you: This is an ancient art of Handling of your feelings thru multiple and specific kinds of fragrances of flowers, oils and herbs, etc. It has been used from many thousands of years by various cultures all over the world. You can use lavender and chamomile to help yourself rest better at night as well. If you like energy, scents like cinnamon, cypress, sage, peppermint, and spiced apple can perk you up. Bergamot, rose, jasmine, frankincense, sandalwood, myrrh, and lemon verdant can ease the pangs of depression and anxiety.



Try Showering and bathing: Relaxing your body via taking bath or taking shower can be powerful way to relief yourself and over indulge your body. You may play instrumental music during taking bath for relaxing your mental. There may be some people who

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Self Love feel comfort whilst resting in water tub for revamping of their body. One way of doing so it's a shower for a third of the time in hot to warm water. For about 30 seconds, switch to a colder temperature of water. After this period is up, switch back to the warm water setting for a few minutes. Repeat the process. This switch uniquely provides a light shock to the system that can be comforting and de-stressing. By Consistently changing the temperature of the water up and down, you can literally awaken your body and refresh yourself in a strong way. 

Get some fresh air: Nature is cheaper than any other therapy where one can feel soothing. You may notice that by having a round of nature, your all mental fatigues evaporate because due to remaining indoors you may feel more stress upon your mental and body as well. You can revive your mind by gazing upon nature and walking outside simply.

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Reward yourself: Probably, it may happen with you several times that you are in hurry to check reaction of others upon our work. It is important to take reward regardless from this that from which side it comes. Either it comes from other side or from your own side. Yes! You may regard yourself by eating your favorite dinner or dish and by taking anything of your choice. 59

Perfect Self 1.

Positive Starts: The style in which you start your day plays a pivotal role in your life. There must be an optimistic, fresh and healthy initiative by saying good bye to yesterday's troubles and worries. Thank on reopening of your eyes after night in the morning. So, whenever you'll make it your regular habit it will affirm you some positive vibes inside of you. Think about any good memory which gives you happiness and makes better thoughts eventually. So, in this way you will be able to attenuate the negative feelings which most of the time become the reason of many problems.

2.

Morning Yoga: Yoga means addition - addition of energy, strength and beauty to body. It has been said by Yoga teachers that Your body can do it, it's your mind you need to convince. Yoga helps to stabilize the function of heart, to enhance the flexibility of body, more concentration upon your work and to make positive outlook. By dedicating an hour to yoga on daily basis will help you to love yourself because with the help of it we use to listen our inner mind. But it needs all those circumstances and situations which are being opted for yoga. A month of its exercise will help you to feel better change within yourself and you'll start loving yourself.

3.

Healthy eating: You should make it your permanent habit to eat healthy food in order to meet all

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Self Love parameters for wellbeing of a good body. A perfect and good body posture will lead to self - confident personality consequently. Whereupon, confidence and self-love go hand in hand. Therefore, it's too much important to focus on beautiful body shape to accomplish your own wellbeing. 4.

Journals: it's very important to write down your journals (personal Diaries) on daily basis. It will assist you to encompasses your short comings and all weak areas. This useful habit also helps you to encircle all of your strong spans. If you don't know that from where to start this journal and how to manage its sequence towards the journey to self-love, then start identifying the areas to work on this way and that will be best initiative point for you. With the help of these journals you will be able to enlist all your daily schedules which will enable you to know your strong and weak areas. In this way, you will be succeeded to have true concept of self-love. While writing journals you should write down all of your routine jobs and events thoroughly. It will help you to know that what you have planned, what you've expected, what should happen and what was happen. Finally, this journal will lead you to figure out the areas upon you have to concentrate on the way to loving yourself. I've saw countless people whose habit of writing diary(journals) cooperates them to love their 61

Perfect Self self. So, the purpose of this helps you to ponder yourself which will enable you to love yourself not to give hard time on your own self. 5.

Self-help books: Reading is just like conversation whereupon books talk but good books listen as well. Good friends and good books are all about the ideal life. We shouldn't just make it a good hobby to read books, but we should also try to avoid wasting our time in reading useless books. Try to read such books that can teach you a lot of lessons. Internet is abandoned with the excess of such books so you can switch to there in order to find out beneficial books. The important point is to apply the lessons you learn from these books upon your life.

6.

Good company: It's an innate habit of human beings that a man acquires all of the behaviors and mood swings thru his environment and the people with whom he uses to come interact usually. It's therefore said, A man is known by the company he keeps. So, try to adopt good company so for that you can inhale positive attitudes from them. You will feel happiness in the company of Good people because they

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direct you towards your real goal, the way to love yourself. 7.

Forgive yourself: we are recurring make multiple number of plans but often became fail to accomplish all of these plans. Resultantly we criticize our self which isn't a good habit m. because if you'll be keep proceeding on criticizing yourself upon misdeeds of past then how you will be beneficial in the future. Try to overcome this habit with the help of certain preceding tactics

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Move forward by locking the past's doors so for not let your past allows to define you.

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Don't hold on some conventional and old stories. Don't follow them blindly rather keep yourself motivated, move forward and make your own story of life by your own pen.

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You must realize that not just others can forgive you, but you can also forgive yourself and definitely it demands a lot of patience

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Realize that you did your best by putting all your efforts at that time. This realization will help you in the future to opt choices. Because when you'll be master in realizing your choice right than you can perform better jobs.

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Perfect Self 8. Be Expressive: It's also a very crucial * that express

yourself fully in the world without caring of any outside resistances. It means to let this world know all about your built-in capabilities or your innate creative gifts. For this purpose, you have to start loving your hobbies which will enable you to love yourself. And finally, this all will leads you to the true happiness. 9.

Seek Happiness: happiness doesn't find you but it's you who find it always. Here are two questions for you. Is happiness important for you? Are you aware of some ways to find it out? So, here are some simple hints to understand the dynamics of how your ca seek happiness.

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it's an option or choice which wholly depends upon your own mood swings

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It's all about your mindset. First, train your mind to how to absorb happiness from surroundings. Teach your mind to learn the way thru which true happiness will reach onto your mind.

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It doesn't depend upon your status in the society or upon your caste. Don't be upset upon whatsoever societal rank you've. When you are happy then nothing matters, and you are free from all these kinds of aspects.

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Self Love 

It can be created even when you're willing to make the most of the life. Consider it as a gift and enjoy it by loving yourself.

10. Self-Introspection: When you are keep going on inspecting of your inner mindset, you shouldn't just ponder your shortcomings but also try to make different parameters of your life. Self-introspection could be a healthier exercise. When you're carrying out this exercise you need to know these steps 

point out all problems and good points by

thinking upon them 

Spend some time in inculcating or finding out

happiness the day you must spend. 

Believe in that there will be better opportunities

for you in the future 

Enlist the areas in which you want to make

development and wish to alter it. 

Make a To-do list of goals from today onwards

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Also think some suitable alternatives and how

you fed and achieve those alternatives 

Repeat this exercise everyday

Now that we know how amazing self-love is, let us try to tackle some sensitive concerns that we might have, i.e. our own shadow. Let’s see if you can get through this and leave your baggage behind to embrace your happiness. 65

Perfect Self Loving yourself may not be that easy for some of us. It is easy to give you all this advice, but doing it is the hardest part. Changing your daily routine and outlook in life takes time and courage. For some it doesn’t work at all. Like what the saying said: No great things will be achieved without enthusiasm. Negative thoughts, habits and beliefs should be thrown straight to the garbage can. In this chapter you will learn more about it, and we will help you see that adversity can be overcome. You need to be the first person to know what your imperfections are, your weakness and limitations; these are the factors which affect our way of thinking, our character and how we love ourselves. Some of this factors but not limited to are the following: Appearance generally is how we look physically. This is how we judge ourselves, and that affects your overall personality. You feel good when you look good and bad if you do not like what you see in the mirror. That’s why most of us spend a lot of time, effort and money to enhance how we look. Improving how we look is a good and positive approach. However, before we start in self beautification, we should learn to internally see our own beauty from the within. No matter how much we improve the way we look, if we choose to look at it differently it will never be enough. How confident are you with your looks? Do you love 66

Self Love your body? Do you think that your colleague or a friend looks better than you? Appreciating is good, but remember to appreciate yourself as well. Our flaws, imperfection and impairment does not matter if you appreciate yourself. Your perception in life matters the most. Social status is how you are being classified in society. This is your rank, achievement and family influence. Various factors can affect one’s social status, the likes are: race, ethnicity, skin color, gender, age and religious belief. Social power or dominance is very evident in different group sector. All of this can contribute to the way you feel about yourself. Our status confirms the value of our hard work. It is also a good motivator on how we behave in society. Due to its importance it is considered big chunk in our pie of fully attaining self-love. Social rejection and oppression can cause us to have a lower capability to enhance ourselves. It will attack your self confidence and self esteem to deal with everyone around you. Knowing how important your status is, is a good beginning in starting your new-found self-love. If you can give that love first to yourself, society is just a factor in this world. Later on we will give some example of how to deal with this struggle. Relationships with others are important to us. We all know what relationships are and how important they are for 67

Perfect Self us a human being. In society, we seek to be accepted. In a relationship you wanted to be loved and cared for, but you need to be the person that other person needs as well. A good relationship can give us strength, hope when we seem to be in the dark and love even if we have nothing more to offer. A good relationship with another person motivates us to love ourselves. On the other hand, a bad relationship can ruin our own personality. It will leave a scar and shatter us; a bad relationship will lead you away from who you are, detach you from your life and the things that you love, and sometimes unknowingly away from your dreams. Relationships with our family, spouse or friends is our basis of who we are right now and who we will be in the future. A strong relationship with others is substantial in seeking happiness, so find that happiness in yourself first, and then you can share it with someone who can give you a moral boost towards happiness. Perception. Your perceptions of yourself, others, situations, and the life that you live had the power to make or break your sense of self love and confidence. Where one sees a glass ceiling, another may see a boundless sky. One of the trickiest truths about perception is that whatever you are exposed to has the power to change your mind. However, if your perception of life not benefit you, you have the power to alter it until it does. 68

Self Love What you see and understand about life affects what you do. The key factor is always your perception, which is your ability to examine what you are seeing around you and process it in a particular way. Perception is far more critical than you think when it comes to self love and the pursuit of happiness. Two siblings can grow up in the same household and choose completely different paths to fulfillment. Two kids can grow up in the same neighborhood and one becomes a doctor or lawyer, while the other pursues a lifetime of crime. Two students can attend the same college and be exposed to the same temptations, while one graduates and another flunks out. Two people can read the same book, and one may forget about it, while another takes action and revolutionizes their life with the information. What do you perceive? Life experiences. Whilst life gives us a lot of learning and achievements, we cannot disregard the fact that it also leaves us with pain and scars. Good experiences can be a source of self confidence and help us find more meaning to life. It can aid us in overcoming obstacles and pressure in life. According to some psychologists, remembering negative memories is human nature. Quite true right? Our negative experiences carve in our head that a single word can trigger it every day. Our own character is made of it, and for some who have experienced drastic and unimaginable experiences, they choose it to define themselves; from the way they look

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Perfect Self physically, how they interact with other people and how they see themselves. Sometimes those negative experiences are all they have to survive. Not all are the same in accepting negative experiences and positive experiences. There are a few who cannot determine the difference. The person who has self-love can overcome this struggle and will be able to find happiness, not because he/she had experiences but simply because he/she chooses to be happy. These statements are examples of how negative perception can affect you, and how you can overcome it. “How can I love my fat body? I hate it!” This struggle is top of the list. Obesity and being overweight is a condition where a body gains excessive fat and you are not alone in this battle. Most people, fat, thin, or in-between, have issues with their bodies. When you look at yourself in the mirror and you hate what you see, you are ashamed of yourself. It’s either you’re too fat or too thin. You’re legs are short or you don’t have curves, etc. We cannot change our physical appearance overnight, by meditating, or by prayer; it needs work and yes, it is a long run. If you want to be happy, you need to drop those self pitying and negative beliefs in your head. A person who loves him/herself accepts his/her imperfections and knows his/her

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Self Love strengths. We can start by altering our perspective. There are some great tips in the next chapter which will surely help you. For now, here are some tips to overcome and help you show your inner beauty. 1. I am beautiful! - Mantra. Don’t just say it. Believe in it, because it is true. Try looking at yourself every morning naked in the mirror and recite that mantra. If you have doubts in believing in it then find good things about yourself, and say it aloud! “I am a beautiful creature with hands to use and legs to take me to places today!” “Another beautiful day to use my awesome brain. Oh, I’m so smart and lovable.” It may be unstylish but who cares. If it’s about you, it is worth it. Have the courage to embrace yourself and what you are made of. 2. Dress code. Yes, we have to adhere, but this is not to stop you from wearing what is in trend today, this is to make you feel comfortable about yourself. You do not want to ruin your day just because you can’t fit in a dress or pair of pants you just bought. Buy clothes that fit you and underwear too. Dress in your own style and size. 3. Health is wealth. When you choose to have your lunch in McDonalds or Burger King today think about yourself first. What your body needs isn’t what your 71

Perfect Self appetite desires. Those fast-foods are very convenient indeed, that’s why they are successful! When you eat something, think about yourself, of what is truly good for you. 4. Move. As we know how important exercising is, let me just emphasize that this is not you burning fat to be sexier (though that would be great, wouldn’t it?). Exercise at least 30 minutes a day, believe me your body needs it more that you know. All you might be seeing is your imperfections, and you think that exercising is a long process that you’d rather not do, because it won’t work, or at least you think it won’t. In case you forgot, you’re a human being and aside from your external parts, you have internal organs that needs attention as well. If you can’t bring yourself to join the gym, start with walking. Make sure you do it every day for an hour. Our physical appearance is the first thing we notice about ourselves. Learn to accept and love yourself first. Walk in the street feeling lucky that you are alive. Do not lose that confidence when someone looks at you or throws some nasty glance at your imperfections. Everyone has one. It is the ones who love themselves most who will win the day, and sleep well at night. Arguments Against Self Love 72

Self Love Many individuals face blocks to self love by the experiences that they had in life, or the negative opinions of others that were ingrained in them. As a result, these individuals tell themselves that they are unworthy of self love on some level. Many of these arguments are a result of the words and ideas that you choose to accept.

If you are not careful, these

arguments against self love can become excuses and destructive beliefs that can hold you back from progress in life and inner peace within your heart, soul, and mind. When the person who makes you feel bad is it was someone important to you, the blows to your self esteem are very real. Although you may have allowed these negative encounters and memories to bother you, you can make the decision to not let it destroy any more of your life and self worth. You can learn to love yourself again, and you can do so unconditionally. “I was abused as a child and was told, I deserved it. “ Most victims of childhood abuse fail to attain self-love. Some psychologists reviewed that most of them think or believe that they deserve it. It is not surprising because when the act of abuse is current, you were probably yelled at that you are a bad kid or what you did is wrong or you were told not to do it - that you deserved it. In a child’s understanding they believe it, because they love the abuser; it could be their parents or guardian, and as a child all we want is to please these people to gain their love and attention. We also believe that they are hurting us because they love us. 73

Perfect Self Let’s get a thing straightened out first. What is abuse? A corrupt practice or custom: unjustly. By the meaning of the word itself it should figured. Being abused is never your fault. The abuser may have found happiness or contentment in abusing. It may be physical or verbal. Abuse is abuse. It is their problem not yours to deal with. You do not deserve to be a punching bag, you do not deserve to take all those condemning words because they are angry or impatient. It wasn’t out of love or affection. It was not done to discipline you. An abuser may be your parents, sibling or guardian. You are expecting love and caring from them so you think it is the right thing to do, that they have the right to inflict harm on you. Sadly, those people were not thinking about your welfare when they were doing the act of abuse. If these people really care and love you they could never do those things. No matter what reason they have, or reasons they want you to believe that you deserve it, it’s just not true, because before they do anything they have a choice, a choice to hurt you or love you they choose to harm you. That is not love, that is not caring. As a victim you also do not have a choice to change your past or start a new life. You only have one so you cannot change it. You may not change your past but you can always work on your ending. Why not try new things? If it’s too hard for you go out, then

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Self Love start with yourself. 1. Read books that tell about how a person overcame life after being abused. 11 Minutes of Paolo Coelho is about a prostitute and how she retained her selfesteem and end up confident about her future. 2. Attend meeting of people who had the same experience. Do not be ashamed of your experience, be proud that you been through a real rough experience and be thankful that you are alive. 3. Find your dreams. Your life doesn’t end after the stormy night. Even if you want it to or not, the sun will always shine - look forward to it and own your future. Be brave and follow your dreams. You might be asking ‘how can I start? Do I have what it takes to be happy?’ You can answer that question by yourself. Start loving yourself and appreciating life. You might think life is unfair for you. It is true. Life is unfair. Because life doesn’t care what you think or what will happen to you. It is you who will be responsible for it. Stop telling yourself that you deserve being abused. You will only deserve it if you think you do and continue agonizing yourself for the rest of your life. Be thankful. Always. This is the key to moving on. “I do so much to please others and they do nothing in return.” This statement is proof of low self-esteem and a lack of self75

Perfect Self love. It is true that we need to get others’ approval and acceptance to boost our own confidence, that having someone trusting you can be a good motivator to do better. However, before we move to that step we need to ready our self first. Do not expect anything from anyone. They do not owe you anything. We might have given them the moon and stars from the sky but you cannot expect them to give you the sun. You give because you are capable. You have something to offer to them and they accepted it. By giving you do not expect anything in return. Learn to be compassionate. Be grateful that you were able to provide and help. Here are some tips to divert your attention in pleasing others: 

Sports. If you’re into one, good. If not, then this the time to start. Just a simple sport that you can do like tennis or even chess, it doesn’t have to be a professional thing, it doesn’t have to be huge, just something you like and enjoy. In sports you need to win but you do not need to please your opponent. Most athlete have a good sportsmanship. If you play good and fair you gain their respect. It is also a good diversion and reason for you to be social.

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Socialize. Not social media. Go out and meet new people from different parts of the

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Self Love world or different professions. Get involved in a charity event or bible reading, or group travel. All that stuff is there, just look and you will see. A wide world awaits you, and it’s fun to meet new people because they will be interested in you, and you in them. 

Travel. We mentioned this before, but traveling is one best therapies for a weary heart. Get out and go to places you have never been to. If you have time and a budget go out of town, perhaps go to the beach. Look in every place you visit, observe the people there, and see that everyone is living. People do not care where you’re from or what you do. They are living, and so are you. Look into that ocean and see how huge it is and how small you. Your worries are too small for you to stop believing in yourself.

Broaden your expectations. Erase all those expectations that we have created because others have experienced it. You are responsible for yourself and you do not depend on someone else to give you happiness. People will not greet you good morning every day, they will not listen to every word you say, and they will not accept all your opinions. There’s a lot of things that we expect from 77

Perfect Self others but what do we really have to expect? Nothing. Set an expectation for yourself, on how you think and react to others. Be positive, it is yourself that you should have expectations with, so accept yourself for who you are. Please yourself and do things that make you happy. If pleasing others makes you happy and content, then go and give. Be compassionate. If you want real happiness, do things out of love and kindness and never expect anything in return. “My dad said I wasn’t smart enough to amount to anything, so why try?” Words are very powerful in building your confidence. If you had a parent or guardian who was guilty of putting you down in any way, it can be much harder to feel love for yourself even after you grow up or lessen contact with the person. Perhaps it was an adoptive parent who scolded you and made you feel incapable of being successful, and it affected the way that you perceive yourself. While reading this, you can fill in the blank with any person in your family or someone that you looked to for approval and confirmation from,but you never received it. Nevertheless, the devastating effect remains the same. Words that you believe in can affect how you think about yourself and how you respond to your everyday life. Words are also used to abuse us. We may not notice it but verbal abuse is very rampant, and it can be from some stranger passing by, our boss and most of the time from our family; whatever guise, 78

Self Love it can be very damaging. It’s true that physical abuse can be seen, i.e. you can see a broken arm, and it will heal, however you can’t see the wounds from verbal abuse, because your heart doesn’t bleed outwardly. In a family, a father figure is a symbol of strength and power. In a basic family, the father has the authority over anyone in the household. If this figure crushed your confidence in the past or present, then most likely your confidence and feelings of self love very low in the present. Archetypically, a mother figure is supposed to be nurturing and encouraging to her child. If your mother was the type of person that put you down or was never there to build you up, it can affect your mental health and sense of self worth later in life. Absence of one parent, or both parents can also have a startlingly damaging effect on a neglected child. Some people grow up to be elderly folk who have never gotten over being abandoned, and this affected how they loved themselves for decades. You might not do anything good for yourself thinking that you are not good enough. You are that person who just does what he/she is being told and keeps quiet when someone criticizes you. You may continually repeat the same negative words and phrases over to yourself, consciously or subconsciously. Your feelings of inadequacy may even come up in your dreams. When you allow someone's hurtful words to affect you, It shows that you have a high regard for other people’s opinions.

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Perfect Self You believe in other people’s words, everyone's except your own. For that person who can criticize someone, especially their child, (or someone they were meant to uplift and protect), it shows that the person does not have a real love for themselves. Closely examine your family tree for insight. Do other members of your family have to deal with heavy criticism from relatives? Have you witnessed the process in action regarding other members? A critical attitude can also be inherited from observing the process in action. It is also possible that their parents or someone else in the family did the same thing to them, so the person adopts the negative habit of verbally abusing someone to literally “force them” to behave differently. It may have made them strive to do better in their lives, but that doesn't mean that it will affect you in the same way. In fact, two people can experience the same type of verbal abuse, but each one can react differently to it. He or she might be the ruin of his own self, and that reflects how he interacts with others. We cannot change them. The problem is with them not with you. What we can do is to forgive them and move on. It may sound bit challenging, but is doable. It will take time and effort but everything we want in this world we actually need to work hard for it – nothing is free. Believe this however, you are breathing and by that reason alone you should be thankful. Since you are alive, why not make your life worth living by simply loving yourself? 80

Self Love It is essential for you to develop self-love in order to live your life happily. With the procedures presented in this book , a person who had this experience can overcome the negativity he or she had experienced before. This can be a realization for you to find a new path and start building a good relationship with yourself. Later on, you can be the exact opposite of what others said you are supposed to be. Did they call you a loser? Say that you were a Nobody? You don't have to be a loser, and you are somebody important! Those are just words and will remain as it is until proven true. And your perception of the truth and circumstances are mutable, and can change at any given time. Even if it is any truth to the words that were said, you must always remember that you have the power to change yourself. Don't make the mistake of being “stuck in time” with words of the past. What was true 5,10, or 20 years ago does not have to be the truth of the moment. What was said in the past does not have to be resurrected in your life today. When a person lacks self love, it can feel like what was said way back then is still true today. A young man who was criticized as a child for being out of shape may still feel like a chubby kid inside, even though he has the frame of a model or bodybuilder now. The girl who felt like an ugly duckling as a kid may still see her former self even as others pass by her and gawk at her supermodel features or stunning shape. The Ivy League IT graduate with a job making more than $100,000 a

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Perfect Self year may still feel like he is not smart enough in some way because of what a negative parent said, over and over again. A man who grew up thinking that he would never be successful may presently have a good, stable job, owns his own home, and is raising a healthy family may still feel like he is not a success because of the harsh words spoken by his father or mother many years before. To start getting on you can try this things: 

Walk. Walking is good habit not just for your body but also for your mind to think. Assess yourself. Ask yourself a lot of questions. Do not be afraid. Think deeper and find out what it is that you really want to do. Find your strength. Do not stop until you have answers to your question. Do this for an hour a day.



Do one different thing in a day. Doing something new can help you discover things about yourself as well, like watching a movie alone, asking your childhood friend out for a movie, visiting a haunted house anything that is possible and legal.



Follow your dreams. Do what you want, do what you’re good at, and indulge in your passions.

Pain is good, and quite healthy as well. It confirms that you are alive and normal. How to go through with it? Self-love. Be thankful of what you have. The more you are thankful, the more you will appreciate life. The more appreciations you give 82

Self Love in your life, the better you feel every day. Let go of the things that you cannot change and the things that you cannot have. That doesn’t mean your value is less, it just means it is not good for you.

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Chapter 5 - Overcoming Struggles In previous chapter we come interact with the struggle in attaining self-love and how we will deal with it to achieve it eventually. 

Accept yourself and be compassionate.

In our daily life, we never have the control over the things around of us like we cannot change the behaviors and approaches of people towards us. We cannot change our outlook i.e., skin/eyes color, hair style, natural body language etc. The only thing which we can perform at our own end is to accept all of the outward stimulus. Accept all of the unpleasant events or rude behaviors you have received from the other people. Accept all of your past moments and move forward by keep an eye upon your own course of actions and these should be sublime and hearttaking. Be compassionate to yourself and give other people your attention and affection. 

be thankful

After passing thru your touchy past, finally you're in the present moment now. So, be thankful to God for every happening you knew yourself and found all of the happiness. 84

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Don't forecast your whole of the day on the basis of a single erroneous bad luck in the very start of the day. Be positive and keep it in your mind that your whole of the day is ahead still. So, make your determination upon this stance that it was a just single conflict, but I’ll finalize this day pleasantly. You may also do it by your good ethical conducts even you may alter the destiny of the time with the help of your tiny deeds. Everyone around of you have its own exposure of struggle in order to survive. You may have seen fat and ugly people with smiling faces all the time. You may also have interacted with such people who were abused in the past but now they are spending a perfect life. Thus, conclude from this that happiness doesn't depend upon your externa appearances rather it's all about how badly you fall in love with yourself. 

You may abolish depression

Depression is the enemy of self-esteem. It is a factor which devastates your comfort zone even if good things are happening to you. So, try to demolish the

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depression because this element will tear up your self-confidence and life. Identify the source of the depression. This act may be one of the best things that you can do to develop a higher level of self-love. Because some people don't bother to undergo in this process which results the lack of healing your wounds Bad things may happen with everyone in normal life. But to retain yourself in the state of depression, is your own choice. Your longer stay in the vicinity of the depression will enhance the vicinity of your mental disorder. Be brave and come out if this stage because this stay will leave its bad consequences upon your senses. So, try to demolish the depression otherwise it will fix your self-esteem and self-love consequently. 

Resolve relationship hostility

Whenever you will build some concrete vessels of your egoistic behavior around you by not forgiving others upon their mistakes. Then It will construct bitter sense of surroundings ourselves which will result in creation of extra tensed environment all the time. You may simply go forward by

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Self Love forgiving and if someone did wrong with you indirectly, then just inform them that how their particular action affected you. If you'll try to dig out the reality that why these kinds of sentiments come up in your personality, then re-check your own sphere of companions. Because certain times, it happens that these certain negative nodes shift from your bad company inward of your behavioral outbreaks. These relationships remain the threat in deteriorating your nature and switching it as hostile approach towards other relations. So, try to get rid of these kinds of relations and be gentle to others so for that you can involve yourself into self-love. And consequently, the people who loves themselves never prefer to the people who possess the core of hostility inside of their souls.

Counselling to overcome issues and self-love: Its beings said about counselling that if it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle. There are numerous people who used to find rays of hope every day. If you are being affected by some bad experiences in the past, then a qualified psychologist may assist you to come out of that state. These intuitive professionals can help spiritually in trapping and overcoming the bad effects of bad experience i.e., physical, sexual or verbal abuse. Sometimes, it may also happen that affection of people for their selves become excessively low, due to any of the serious 87

Perfect Self and consoling casualty i.e., death of any beloved or serious injury etc. Many people suffer from PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) in this context. These kinds of factors may also become the reason in decreasing one's love for oneself.

Clear it out, & break loose in self-love Clearing exercise may enable you to restart your self-love and it will help you to get rid of from all unnecessary bad feelings. You can write a letter to your offender to let it all go; you may write there the things, you always want to tell; you may ask for reasons why they make you upset and how they affected your life and why it's important to tell them and make your mind feel free. Some of the people may choose to send it to their offenders but most of the people may burn it after tearing it. But even then, if you'll repeat this action then it will be helpful in cleansing of your emotions.

Gain spiritual grounds: If you make your such mind that your existence isn't meaningless. It has some worth and made for some special purpose. This feeling should inspire you to indulge in selflove. If you understand that there is a divine power (God) who created you in order to accomplish some mission from you and that creator loves you instead of all your flaws, sins, shortcomings etc.

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Self Love There is another great thing about the self-love is that, it comes from your inner side, you build it, own it, embrace it and it's you who carry benefit from it. Remember one thing that you deserve your own love not of any-one else and you're already being loved by the creator of the universe.

The power of a positive friend circle: There is an old saying that birds of a feather flock together. A quote by Rohn, " You're the sum to total of the 5 people that you have around of you" It means a man is known by his company and defined completely by his 5closest people. This world is full of negative and positive minded people. There always remains a difference between the positive and negative individuals. Negative minded individuals always complain you or gossip with you while positive people always indicate you your opportunity to move forward in the course of your life, they will help you in every thick and thin and they will oppose you when you'll be going to a wrong way. These are true and real people you need to have around of you. So, if there is deficiency of positive people within your life circle then it's time to extend this circle. You may feel difficulty in this process but it's too much important to achieve self-love. Who makes you feel better?

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Perfect Self While creating the bank of close friends, you may include those people who make you feel good. To get desired results through this technique, you need to draw three columns by giving headings of Positive people, Negative people and Undecided people. In the first column, you may assemble the name those people whose existence ensure your happiness and good luck. In second column of Negative people, put the names of those individuals who make you feel bad by always raising their fingers on you or on your feebleness’s. In 3rd column of Undecided, you may enlist all of those names about whom you've some ambiguities either to put them in 1st or 2nd column. Now, add the people of positive column into your close place by deducting the Negative people entirely from your circle of friends. And re-evaluate the individuals of Undecided column by extending exposure of interactions with them. You may find some more individuals to enlist them in the column for the sake of healthier life.

We all encounter struggles in attaining self-love, but knowing and acknowledging will surely make a difference; go and do this to experience self-love to its fullest. o

Acceptance. Things happen all the time, with or without us doing anything. We cannot control

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Self Love it, such as how we look, brown or white skin, fat or thin. On top of this there is time, we can never compete with time, for once it’s done there is no way to go back. We also have people - we cannot do anything if there are just people who do things they aren’t supposed to, things which hurt us. The only thing that we can do is to accept, accept your flaws because it is a part you. It is part of that beautiful person you’re building yourself to be. Accept bad experiences not just because you can’t do anything about it but because it happens to you, and the past will remain in the past; you will be moving on to your future with a true love for yourself. Accept the fact that someone, a person you love wounded you - it did hurt, but it doesn’t kill you. You are alive right now and starting to love yourself, your whole self and giving that person your kindness and forgiveness. Your compassion will be you loving yourself. o

Be thankful. After the stormy night you are still here, breathing like everyone else, and be thankfully that you can see yourself in the mirror, that you have a chance to live your life

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Perfect Self for yourself. Be thankful that after your ideal life you found great abundance of happiness. After the long search of love, you finally found it in you. o

Be compassionate. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself for all your flaws, all your beliefs and all the past that had happened. Treat yourself

with

your

utmost

love,

compassionately. You will always go back to where you start unless you choose to be happy. o

The best is yet to come. Some of the erroneous truths that people who lack self love have is that their finest days are already behind them.

Every day we struggle; it could be with a simple heavy traffic, and because of that you were late for work, causing your boss to scold you. How you take it and react is significant. If you treat it like it’s a bad day then it will be truly a bad day. Why not be thankful instead? Thankful that you were able to come to work after what you had been through. It was rough but you need to move on. Your day is just starting. Make it a goal that if your day starts with a conflict, that you will end it with a good impression. After being late, treat your boss to a coffee or ask for beer after work with a colleague. You can simply give alms to the street kids if that works for you. Make yourself feel better. Go to the gym or meditate. Sing 92

Self Love while taking a shower. Do not forget that these simple things can make you feel better. Laugh with a friend. Say hello to your colleague inside the elevator. It won’t hurt you, and instead it will surely make you feel better. Remember your perception is what is important. At the end of the day it will still be you who will decide if you want to be happy, or stay in that negative ground. Everyone has their own struggles in life. If you look at everyone around they have a lot to tell about their experiences as well. Sometimes it will be surprising to see how a successful person with a happy family was once a victim of abuse. Don’t you find it interesting to see that fat lady seems very confident in herself, and laughs all the time? Life and people are mysterious, or maybe not; perhaps they just found the secret to be happy.

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Chapter 6 - Laws Of Self-Love How do I love myself? We must ask this question to ourselves. We used to fall in love often, forgive the people on their mistakes but we don't forget ourselves upon our own mistakes. Though it's a different to indulge in self-love because sometimes you fail to accept yourself in your purest form and might start searching the ways to escape. Some of you may try to set yourselves in somewhere else to run from this difficulty but in that case, you may get infected by self-loathing. Always remember that we cannot run from our own self rather we can change our company in order to inhale happiness and to attain self-love eventually. Understand the laws of self-love and initiative your journey. Here are some progressive steps which will make you enable to love yourself.

Think self-Love. It's a well-known fact that we can change everything with our power of thinking because it's our thoughts which becomes our actions later. To achieve positive thoughts, you may practice meditation, you may start by writing journals etc. This world has both good and bad people. There is always some good in bad and some bad in good. So, try to focus on positive chunks to move forward and to the attain the pavement of self-love. 94

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1.Do self-love Try to find happiness in having less by bridging up minimalistic approach of life. Because sometimes having less could be prove more at times. Start taking care of your body by taking proper and precious diet to gain good health. Do proper exercise in order to maintain physical fitness. Practice meditation to purify your mind from all kinds of negative germs. Though, it wouldn't be so easy in real life. You may get bore by practicing it every day but try to keep proceeding by reminding yourself that why you have initiated it and give your body an energetic momentum.

2. Absorb self-love When you will start loving yourself already then you may start buying only those things for yourself which looks compulsory for you. Instead of buying yourself materialistic things, surround you with such things which don't have their expiry date. For an instance, you may learn any new language, you may learn singing, or you may seek to play musical instruments. Develop your passion and evolve yourself accordingly with the passage of time. Try to priorities yourself while attending some ceremonies. Go out and come back with loving lasting memories. There are multiple approaches to love yourself. Try to surround yourself 95

Perfect Self with positive people. When you'll fit yourself in the core of uplifting environment to absorb optimism and self-love.

3. Retain self-love As you would start absorbing self-love. After the stage of absorbing the self-love, there may come a point when you may start devaluing your choices after receiving recurring complaints. Because after absorbing self-love, the most difficult thing which you may experience is to retain it due to the complaints of the people that you don't give the time to them. In these circumstances, don't alter your routines. Don't change your mind, your schedules of yoga and meditation etc. Don't make any immediate schedule that can disturb your ability to retain self-love.

4. Exist in self-love In a radical world of uncertainty, don't remain outside of your own self preserving self-love because its deficiency will disguise you. All the great things come from within, is an incredible insight you must have to love yourself. Don't go to and froe in the ocean of ambiguity rather try to exist in the state of self-love. This act will surround you with a concrete sphere around yourself in order to keep you separate from all negative streams.

5.Feed self-love It may sound awkward in listening to feed to self-love. It's a journey, not a destination. Up till now, you may get succeed in 96

Self Love attaining and existing in self-love. Now, you may feel it in your soul in every vain of your body completely. The more you'll feel the self-love inside of you, more fortune you'll consider to yourself. Take care of your body, your skin, your hair, your face, your nails by moisturizing, massage, and dying etc. in order to feed your-self-love. A Buddha said that no one in this entire universe deserves our love than ourselves. These five laws will assist you to achieve the finest form of selflove.

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Chapter 7 – The Importance of Achieving Your Dreams The art of achieving self-love lies in making yourself happy. Have you set any dreaming goals in childhood or anytime in the past? Have ever dreamed about becoming a pilot, a doctor, a nurse, an engineer, a footballer, or about writing a book or for a tour of Thailand, etc. Well, if you want to love yourself, then you need to focus on you and your dreams. All of those dreams with which you ever countered and even you labelled them, 'Forgotten' or 'Unachievable' Nothing in this world is impossible. It just depends upon how badly you wish for that. If you want something, you'll work hard for it. It chances you to achieve itself. When you want something; all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. 

Seek Success without defining yourself by failure

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Some people feel it difficult to get indulge in self-love because they define themselves by failure rather their success. There isn't any substitute of self-love. There are some people who work a lot and even they become successful in achieving plenty of the successes and assets, but they fail to fall in self-love. These kinds of people are known as overachiever or workaholic. A workaholic is a person who works compulsively. While the term generally implies that the person enjoys their work, it can also alternately imply that they simply feel compelled to do it. These kinds of people often use to surround their selves with the sheet of work in order to disguise the true feelings that they have about themselves and their lives. But one thing regarding self-love is very clear and concise and it cannot be bought, sold, or negotiated by anyone. The sad thing about it that there isn't any such stream of work that can do to develop self-love because when you surround yourself with work and do not deal with the problem. Consequently, you may look successful

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apparently, but you'll feel unhappiness inside of you until or unless you'll not undergo with self-love. There is an excess of such people who earn far less than overachievers and workaholics, but they look happier that them because they fall in love with themselves. Unfortunately, it's just due to negative philosophy of people which is mixed into their blood that there are many successful people who achieve their successes without getting indulge themselves into self-love. People who love themselves always emits the rays of positivity while people who lacks the feeling of selflove, always see the negative aspects of the things. One of the biggest differences between optimistic people and pessimist people is what they decide to focus on. So, always choose to see the positive perspectives of the life. 

How your achievements help you to attain complete self-love

. Achieving your goals is actually an accomplishment. The accomplishment of your dream and goals thru

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your strong nerves and it make you really proud on you which lead you to feel in self-love. . When you achieve something m, then open the doors for future opportunities to alter into your life. . There is not any better feeling than knowing you've chosen your dreams. These feelings emit happiness, and these are the key to self-love in happiness itself. 

Clarify your goals now!

Remind your goals, you may set in the childhood and reconsider those goals wither you have rejected it or not. It may happen that dreams you'll set for yourself, is no longer useful for you now. Your school dreams may become irrelevant in the age of 40. Reinenforce all of your senses and re-evaluate you all of your dreams. You may set in the past and clarify yourself all of them by enlisting all of them. Now, your goals are crystal clear and here it's the systems order to accomplish your dreams and to welcome Self-love. So, whenever you want to achieve any of your dream then follow this sequence which is in ascending order. 101

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

What is it!

Firstly, you need to clarify your aims by thinking on it again and again. And if you've more than one goal then enlist all of them in ascending order by placing your utmost desired dream at the top and so on. 

How to achieve it?

One thing should be very clear into your mind that nothing in this world is impossible or unachievable. So, step out and keep proceeding your journey by making a complete master plan after having a complete analysis of ground realities. For example, If you don't have resources to accomplish your dreams then strive hard to make resources. After fulfilling all requirements of resources move forward but don't ever think to leave it. 

your feelings on achieving your dreams?

While moving forward in the quest of your dream, make an imagination cloud where you can see your own happiness and proud on achieving your dream. Just keep that screenshot in your pocket all the time while proceeding towards your destination. And 102

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whenever you'll feel desperate on the way to your goal have a glance over this screenshot in order to inspire yourself. 

what's your first step?

After accomplishing above mentioned three steps successfully, now it's time step in the practical field or on the road to success. At this stage, recharge yourself with full confidence but not let your pessimistic feelings to come into your mind. The more you'll have the light of self-love the clearer and smoother will be your journey. 

How much time you'll take to achieve your goals?

To ponder upon this statement, you may ask two questions from yourself about your dream. . Is it a quick process? . Is it a long journey? Always be realistic about the time frame of your journey. How much time it will take you reach at your destination. While doing this, keep one thing into your mind that don't rush because if you'll do it then you'll fall and get demotivated which will dishearten

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you. While during the whole of your journey, the supplements of self-love will feed you to remain inspire. 

Re-evaluate in the midpoint of the process

At the midway of your journey, you may pause your efforts for a while. Reconsider your goal and reevaluate yourself either you still want to crave for it. If you are still self-determined, then proceed forward. 

The gift if clarity

This point demands a hat of regard because it's very important to clarify your dreams for the sake of successful and happier course of life ahead. Because what you really want in a profession is more important than simply finding the work. So, take as much time you want to take in order to clarify your goals as it's very much necessary to elucidate your vision. Whenever you will not perform this task in the starting of the journey, you'll waste your time and energies as well in confused ways. So, don't hesitate

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to design your goals that really reflect your inner desire. As Stephen Kellogg says that It's better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than at the top of the on you don't. 

Using S.M.A.R.T goal setting

Set your goals according to your own level and caliber because when you get fail in achieving your goals, then you feel embarrassment and resultantly you starts hating yourself. Setting of small goals, is one strategy to overcome this factor. At least, It will be far better than to become desperate in the mid of the way than to leaving it in the mid of the way. So, try to utilize S.M.A.R.T terminology to achieve any of your goal. What's SMART. It's acronym if S Specific M Measurable A Attainable R Relevant T Timely 

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Your goal shouldn't be vague or unclear. It shouldn’t too general rather it should be so clear and specific that we can easily plan a map for our journey. 

Measurable

Whenever you decide to plan your goals, then make predetermined set of ways to measure your progress. In this way, you'll be able to check your progress in future. It will also enable you to resume your journey if it will be struck away. 

Attainable

Use cognition reasoning to design goal while finalizing your dreams. Consider all of the ground realities and outward stimuluses i.e., temperature, environment etc. and all available resources i.e., labor, time etc. It's will help you to determine either this goal is attainable or not. 

Relevant

It's a very basic step in the process. In setting your goal ponder upon these questions first. . The reason to opt this goal .

Either

it's

matchless

style/interest/personality

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your

life

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. Feasibility of your capabilities either you may achieve it or not. . Why you're choosing this goal either you're selecting it for yourself or for someone else. 

Timely

It's a key to accomplish your goals. Set a time frame to attain your destinations. It must not too much short, not too much lengthy, rather according to actual timescale required to accomplish that goal. By using the technique of SMART, we may concisely prepare ourselves in attainment of goals. As Michelangelo says that the greater danger for most of us isn't that aim is too high and miss it but that it's too low and reach it. 

You must preserve

Scott Reed says that this one step-choosing a goal and sticking to it- changes everything. Sometimes, people have the similar ideas and caliber but their will power to preserve is the main factor that varies the level of success.

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Many times, winner of the race or achiever of solid success aren't the smartest people but the people who strived hard to achieve it without taking care of obstacles come in their way. 

On goal accomplishment

Achieving a goal or dream, is a quick track to selflove. One of the best ways to boost your self-worth is to figure out all of your dreams, make their list, and start accomplishing them. More you'll achieve your dreams, more you'll be fall in love with yourself. Upon reaching on your destination, you may ask these questions from yourself . Do you feel bliss on achieving? . Do you feel proud on yourself? .

Did

attaining

your

goals,

arise

sense

of

accomplishment . Did you improve your life or others’ lives? 

Importance of rewarding yourself

Don't wait for others to reward you rather reward yourself when you accomplish a goal. It doesn't matter how small it's, just do yourself a favor and give yourself a reward. Reward yourself by celebrating it. 108

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Don't ever forget to acknowledge yourself about your achievements before switching to next goal. This thing will invigorate you.

Proper goal setting is a skill that will benefit you in many areas of your life. If you are able to create goals that are based on a certain amount of factors, you can find a way to reach them much more easily and also determine if a goal is properly set. The advantage of setting solid goals cannot be ignored if you want to achieve success and accomplish tasks that benefit you, your loved ones, and even society. Fortunately, you can follow a tried and proven system to expedite your plans for success. “The greater danger for most of us isn’t that our aim is too high and miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” Michelangelo

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Chapter 8 – Why Pleasing Everyone Else is a Fast Track to Unhappiness Are you a people pleaser? Many of us feel happiness when we please someone else. We feel good on having a glance of blissful smile. Through it's a quite normal and an admiral trait but it's really wrong to make this practice every day. To test yourself that either you're a people pleaser or not, ask following questions from yourself. Pleasing someone else is okay sometimes, but if you find yourself doing it all the time then you are damaging your self-worth, and you are placing all your love onto another person, leaving none left for you. Self-love is about recognizing your own needs. Does this person do the same for you? Do they sacrifice absolutely everything to make you smile? Probably not. This doesn’t mean they don’t care about you, it simply means they have balance, because they recognize that they need to do things for themselves too. It’s unhealthy to throw everything you have at someone else, and over time, it’s human nature for the other person to start expecting this treatment from you, and when you back off a little because you need to, perhaps you really do need to do something for yourself, they’re going to be wondering what happened. It’s about balance.

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Self Love You will say yes upon these questions if you'll be people pleaser. . If someone's mood is bad, then you'll feel that it's due to you . You'll apologies for everything even you aren't sure either it's your fault or not. . Your partner's mood affects your mood strongly . You would literally do anything to please someone even indulging yourself in difficulty; a situation which may make you unhappy . You're never sure of how you feel yourself Pleasing someone else for all the time, is a damaging exercise for your self-worth. Because if you're placing all of your love into others, leaving none for yourself. Self-love is all about recognizing your own needs. If you're trying to please someone else but in response, he's doing nothing. Then it doesn't mean that he doesn’t care about you but it's all about 'Balance' For an instance, if you've a partner, who's taking, taking, taking & taking and you are keep giving, giving and giving then you've entered into a damaging and unhealthy state/situation. You must have an equal give and take policy to make both parties feel important. To be loved, you need to love yourself first as self-love comes from inside otherwise someone else will take total and utter benefit and advantage of you.

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Focus on valuing yourself

Any situation in life needs to be balanced and in order to have healthy relationships and friendships. You must regard yourself as you regard others. Manage the time boost up your confidence level. You may get involve yourself in following situations



Take an evening class and learn a new skill

Try to spend your sometime in learning some skills and it isn't necessary to have its link with your qualification. Something you enjoy like musical classes.

Take time in nature Try to spend some time in the lap of nature because to go for a walk in a natural environment is a very beneficial hobby. Nature cleanses and purifies your mind and body both.

Get sporty Playing sports is an awesome and incredible way to nurture your self-worth. So, do any game on regular basis.

Focus on your career Put all of your efforts and attentions into your job and cultivate your career which enhance your opportunities and will open doors to boost yourself love.

Participate in something that pleases you 112

Self Love In order to meet its requirements just remember the word 'balance'. Always balance your life through ways we tell you. Be positive and participate in all those activities that please you and make you feel better.

consider why it's important Before doing something else, examine yourself by asking these questions. . Why I’m doing this for him . Is it really compulsory? . Either I’m doing this due to my internal kindness or to receive praise myself. . Will it hurt my feeling if I didn't find my expected response? . Either I'm doing this due to fear of rejection or due to fear of disapproval? Once you gain insight, you can make smarter and healthier decisions for yourself that will positively affect all of your interactions.

Focus on Valuing Yourself More often than not, too many people value the opinions of others over their own. If you focus on valuing yourself at all times, you can release the need to want to please others so 113

Perfect Self much. Some excellent questions to ask yourself is “Do you think your opinion is valuable? Why, or why not? Were there circumstances in your life that made you feel as if your choices, desires, and opinions did not matter?” It is possible that you may be scarred from those experiences and wrongfully coerced into thinking that what you think does not matter, therefore you do not matter. Placing all of your energy into pleasing others is the wrong way to validate your self love. Any situation in life needs to be balanced, and in order to have healthy relationships and friendships, you need to value yourself as much as you value the happiness of the other person. For this reason, if you find that you are constantly trying to please everyone else over yourself, you need to take a little time out from relationships. Take the time to value yourself, and to boost your confidence; find the things in your life that you enjoy Depending on how you answer these questions, you can learn a lot about yourself and your intent. The more emotional the connection, the more like it is that you are doing it to validate yourself and falsely expand your sense of self love and worth. Once you gain insight, you can make smarter and healthier decisions for yourself that will positively affect all of your interactions.

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Chapter 9 – The Art of Saying “No” Let’s move forward from our previous chapter that was basically putting all the effort for others and doing so much for them, we now need to understand the benefits of saying “no”. We will learn easy steps about “how to say no” Saying “no” and its consequences. Majority of people feel embarrassment while saying no to others because they think after this people will start judging them. Most of them are afraid about the consequences like people will think bad of them and they will not be able to face them with confidence again. Well, the good news is that there are many situations where it is totally possible say “no”, and totally just too. What do you think is the most difficult word to say? I am asking about pronunciation, it is about feelings. Well the word is “NO”. Saying no to other people who you are used to say yes to can be creepy even painful sometimes. You will be surprised to know that a lot of people are filled with anxiety and hypertension at the thought of saying no to something or someone with confidence. This feeling often comes when we focus on others values than ourselves. However, this is opposite of self-love.

If we continue yes sir routine than sooner or later, we are going to burden ourselves with a lot of un-wanted responsibilities. This process leads us to stress, and stress is 115

Perfect Self unhealthy, damaging, and can have some serious results. If you need a little evidence, stress can: 

Lead to depression and anxiety

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Affect negatively your sleeping patterns

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Loss of appetite

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High blood pressure

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Increase your cholesterol levels

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Render you useless in social situations because you simply can’t think straight

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You can’t hold on to situations because you cannot focus

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Subtle variations in mood and brings you down

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Affects your matrimonial life and this could be the last ship drowned

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Big reason of mistakes

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Increases your heart rate leading to heart diseases



Can increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke



Basically, stress can be fatal in its most severe forms

A person who is lacking in self-love is more likely to become a victim of stress, this is just a common fact. If you concentrate on what others think about you rather than yourself and your own feeling, you are going to stress yourself out. You could get stress at workplace, then take all that bad feeling with you to your home where your spouse is waiting for a happy jolly man and what she receives? a stressed, fed up man that consequently leads to some serious issues. Your home life is 116

Self Love affected by it because your spouse and children think that they are not important. This is where your blood pressure touches the upper limits and can be fatal. Risk of stroke or heart failure and most of the times depression that leads to other problem as well. Standing Up for Yourself If you want to show yourself love you must stand up and stand tall for yourself. Be firm in your attitude because there are situations that can hamper your will power. Support yourself by saying no, learn how to say no and when to say no. if it is extremely difficult for you to say no, this may be a habit throughout your life span. Just look back in the past and think about all the times where you may say no, but you did not. As a result, you will feel depressed, angry and upset with the others secretly. Most probably you will be angrier with yourself than others. If you are on the above-mentioned root than there are chances that other people may have attain what they demanded from you and did not get what you whish to. Want to know the reason? Its simple because you always say yes to their all requests, demands and feelings. You did not value your own feelings, self-worth and emotions. If you are still thinking, “why didn’t I just say no” there are chances that you did not back yourself up. You did not support your own self because

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Always remember one thing that your opinion, values, wishes, dreams and needs are just as much important as others demand of you. If there is a difference at any stage between your values and that of the others than you have all the right to say no at any-time. At some point you must value yourself and love yourself. it will be easier if you learn how and when to say no. the situations may vary but the result will always remain same. Here are some of the situations, including but not limited to: 1. Saying no to a sails man who tries to sell you something and you are not interested, or you do not have time. 2. Saying no to children, relatives, even parents when you want to 3. Saying no to superior officer when you disagree with the decision and you are on right 4. Saying no to spouse when your opinions are different 5. Saying no to a friend even though you may have been with her or him every time she needs to

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Self Love The list very long but if you lack self-love, you will not feel good while saying no. this will make you uncomfortable with everything you do in life. just value yourself and support your opinion as you value others. Best Ways to Say “No” If you are worried about others while saying no or you think too much before saying no than the following lines are for you. We will learn the polite, likable and professional way of saying no. just follow these simple steps and you are done. 1. Start positive When you have decided to say no to anyone, and you are confused start the conversation in a positive way. Like “I respect your opinion but” ... or “this idea is great! It’s just that” … by saying these words you will get the necessary time to compile your feelings and say no. 2. Let me Think About it please… This is another say to get some time and to say no in a professional manner. The person demanding from you will understand by your approach that you are not willing to do what he desires, and his ego will not be hurt as well.

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Perfect Self 3. Simple no is better than all other excuses If you don’t have time or you are not interested at all then a simple no can make you feel good with no worries. Just say no when you don’t want something to be done because if you say yes at that time it can cause serious issues later damaging your peace of mind. Simple no and feel relax. Most important thing is saying no and staying firm on it. It doesn’t mean you have to be angry or make faces. You can say no with a smile as well. Others will realize that your decision is firm, and they can’t change it so they will definitely leave surrender without hurting you. if someone is still asking for yes you can ask him some questions to understand his intentions. You have the right to say “no” at any stage you want. What comes after saying “no”? We are human beings and being humans, we have limitations. Everyone has flaws in his life. people who are not blessed with self-love feel guilty about many different things in their life, many of which they have or haven’t done. You need to read this chapter if you feel guilty at saying “no” to anything even though you feel in your heart that you are not wrong to do so. Please pay attention to the content of this chapter and you will start feeling better. To be a good self-lover you must understand yourself. You must know your positive and negative points. Every human

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Self Love being has weaknesses so do you have. Self-love means understanding your strengths and weakness and respecting your limitations. If your boss is piling up too much work or he is asking you for over time its not your fault it’s their fault. By saying no, you don’t become an inferior or lesser human being. It doesn’t mean that you are at wrong side. It means you like yourself the way you are, and you respect your limitations. When you start appreciating yourself with all the positive and negative aspects of your personality, then you are on right path to self-love. Saying “no” does not make you a lesser human being, and it doesn’t not mean that you are wrong, it means that you are appreciating yourself, and you are understanding your limitations. Self-love isn’t all about appreciating our plus points, it’s about understanding and appreciating your flaws too. Take a very good care of your health, because no one can do it better than you. We have discussed briefly in this book why health is directly proportional to your happiness. Healthy diet and daily exercise are necessary to keep your body healthy and clean. But what would you do to feed your brain and keep it stress free? It’s simple just believe your abilities and trust yourself. As I said limitations are there but self-believe and trust leads you to the ultimate glory of self-love and mental satisfaction. your limitations are also there to keep you safe,

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Perfect Self e.g. when you are at office and about to pack up and suddenly boss appears from nowhere and asks you put some extra effort and time to another example is that your eyes are closing and you are dead tired your friend asks you to take care of her kids while she goes out for dinner with his husband? These are the best opportunities for you to sit back, take a breath, and smoothly say no to prove that you are also as much important as anyone else can be. “No” Is a small word to say but it has a lot of power to keep you calm and value yourself with all your limitations. Start saying no and cultivate your levels of self love. A small word, two letters, it takes seconds to say, but it packs a punch, and is one of the most powerful words you can utter if you want to value yourself and cultivate your levels of selflove.

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Chapter 10 – A Hot Topic – Body Image We have covered important aspects of body image and selflove in previous chapters, but it’s time to go in depth because it really is very important ingredient to self-love recipe. Body image is one of the most debated topics in self-love learning therapies. Since the world has transformed into a global village, we all love to be updated with modern fashion and outfits. Being up to date is good but trying to b like all those media stars and personalities creates depression. There is not a single day in your life when you don’t watch a celebrity with great looks and amazing body image. The trouble begins when we start comparing our own body image with media stars. The pressure to be perfect is felt by all of us at some stage of or life. We all are made to be different, and that is the beauty of this universe; if we all are have same body postures, same colour, same weight then life would be extremely boring. Health and well being must be the top number in your priority list like eating organic foods and a lot of work outs, but you must understand the importance of accepting your self with all your qualities and a valuing it. In order to live a healthy life, you need to follow these rules:

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Fruits and veggies an integral part – it’s a proven fact that people with more organic food like fruits and vegetable live a healthier living than their other colleagues. Take necessary quota of vegetable and fruits on daily basis. This will boost your health by providing the vitamins and minerals required for a healthy body. A healthy body contains a healthy mind and a healthy mind is the essence of self-love.

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Plane your diet charts – when something is in your control you can deal with it the way you like. Plane your meals by writing them and strictly following them. Make menu after confirmation from specialist and never violate it. By strictly following menu you can overcome over eating routines and live a healthie, happier life.

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Have a healthy eating buddy – find someone from your list who wants to boost his overall health and outlook, work together to get ideal results. Just keep one thing in mind that you don’t have to compete with him, you need to help each other, this could be a BarB-Q night or a chocolate bar invitation. Allow yourself a day off, in moderation – never

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Self Love push yourself to extreme, because this could result in fail or something in appropriate. Give yourself a treat after a long, busy schedule, this will help you organize your thoughts and relax, resulting in lifting your value in your own mind. This does not mean that you forget all the hard work you did to maintain your self-respect. Follow the rules and enjoy a happy start of self-love.

Exercise to feel good – sweat and weight loss is not the only purpose for exercise, basically the exercise is one of the best ways to gain happiness. Don’t exhaust yourself in gym, enjoy exercise instead. Try yoga, try workouts in outdoor gym for an hour or two every few days, try Pilates, or even dance class, which is fun and sociable at the same time, basically enjoy your exercise. Try to play team sports, this is also a source of enhancement of self-worth. As an active team member, you can boost your personality, thus giving yourself a chance to grow further in self-love. A healthy life style is an integral part of self-love, because you can’t love yourself if you feel lethargic and don’t feel good when you see yourself in mirror. This chapter is all about body image, and whilst its correct that you should love yourself when you see in mirror. If you don’t like what you see in mirror than you must put your all efforts to change it into a shape that

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Perfect Self is loved by you and that must be your ideal. Body image and the media. Now, when we’ve discussed being healthy and treating your body like the temple it deserves to be, but we also need to pay a lot of attention to the fact that there are several outside factors which can affect the way you feel about your body. The job of the media is to create fantasy, and most of the times its nothing more than that specially in the case of super models and celebrities. Media life is always very colorful because of the celebrities and stars who are always best on screen because of the access to personal trainers, tailored clothing, top notch rejuvenation treatments and some of the best adornments and enhances effects that you can buy with money. No doubt they are millionaires with a very colorful media life, but have you ever asked yourself about their personal life? these people might be super stars with a lots of bank balance and luxury life, but it doesn’t mean that they are happy inside. Sometimes people act well but they don’t have a lot of self -love. Most of the celebrates you see on media and websites go through one to two hours of makeup done by a professional before they even go in front of camera. When the shoot is over, most of the plush celebrities do not even look like the image of themselves that they put out to the world! If you want a clear view of their life just put yourself in their position. If someone was regularly picking what you wear, and

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Self Love constantly thinking that you could be thinner, or pointing out your cellulite to the world, would you love yourself or feel overly confident? Probably the answer would be NO. The problem starts when we many folks unfairly judge themselves to the same standards without the team celebrities have. Athletes have professional trainers who customize their workouts, and, many have to workout for hours a day and the constantly follow strict diet plans to just to stay in shape. The point of this section is that media is cruel. All of us buy those magazines and visit those sites but comparison should end here. This is one of the most famous reasons why a lot of celebrities break down under media pressure while they are expecting to retain a spotless image all the time. Be thankful for all the gifts you have. Be thankful that you are not a celebrity, be thankful that you are not judged on everything you wear and whether you are looking potentially ordinary at some point of your life. Maybe females find it a little more obviously hard than guys, but that’s not to say that males out there don’t feel the pressure. The desire to be thinner, super fit, more muscles is just as prominent in the masculine world, as it is for the women out there. The bottom line is self-love all the way. Learn how to love your body? One of the most important fact we need to know is that selflife is directly linked to the body-image. There are potentially dangerous conditions which can develop if we seriously dislike

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Perfect Self out body image. You can be a victim of eating disorder like anorexia and bulimia when a body image issue becomes serious. This is the reason why you should avoid this at all costs. Body dysmorphia is also something many of us suffer from to some degree without even realizing. Of course, this can be worse in those who have a real problem with body image, and this is when what you see in the mirror does not correlate with what is true and real. The only way that you can truly learn to live your body is to accept who you are and approve of yourself. For many who lack self love, this can be the hardest step to complete. Although you can do many things to alter your body image in different ways, you still have to acknowledge and appreciate who you are right now, so you can still develop self live and feel comfortable in your own body. The funniest thing about accepting and approving of yourself is that you will start to develop a sense of confidence that others will notice. Do you have a body image problem? Because the way we see ourselves in terms of the physical is so vitally important, we should look into the degree to which you may have a problem with your physical appearance. This is not problem with everyone, and some people simply go through a normal degree of dislike or neutral feeling when it comes to how they look. There aren’t many people who are

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Self Love 100% happy with what they see in the mirror, but they are able to see the positives rather than the negatives, and deal with their flaws. Answer these questions honestly: 

When you look in the mirror, do you feel disgust?

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Do you like any parts of your body?

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Do you feel shy looking into mirror?

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Are you constantly on a diet which fails?

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Do you make an effort with your appearance on daily basis?

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What feeling come into your mind when you look at yourself in mirror?

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Do you compare your appearance to someone else and feel bad about yourself? To know the answers of these questions you just need to be positive and forget about negative aspects of your body image. If you are regularly on fad diet that fails, that is going to harm your confidence and hence going to chip away your levels of self-love. This is the main reason why body image such an important part of learning self-love. Nobody is perfect, but provided you are healthy and you have a body which you can look at and think ‘I’m okay’, you are on the right bus.

We should mention that many people think that those who are overweight or underweight are the only ones who have body image issues, but that’s simply not true. There are many 129

Perfect Self slimmer people who don’t like what they see either, but nobody really pays that much attention; why? Because for some reason society has the idea that slim is perfect – not the case! Healthy is the key here, healthy body and healthy mind. What is perfect? Everyone’s idea of perfection is different. Think about it logically – you probably had a crush on a celebrity when you were younger, perhaps you had posters on your wall. It could have been a boy band singer, or it could have been an actress, but did your friends all have a crush on the same person? Probably not! They probably had a crush on someone else and you looked at the object of their lust wondering what they were seeing. Everyone is designed to find different things attractive, and this is the wonder of life in many ways. When you accept and appreciate, you will start to love yourself much more, without comparing yourself to what you think is perfect. If you have the idea that blonde hair, blue eyes, and a size 10 figure is perfect, then you won’t feel happy with yourself if you are a brunette with brown eyes. Having said that, the person you are destined to fall in love with may be a true brunette fan, whereas you can’t understand why he doesn’t love blondes. Do you see where we’re coming from here? Perfection is not a label, it is not something which is prescribed – bread is bread, it has a label because it is bread, perfection is not that simple, it is fluid, and it has a difference

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Self Love depending on every single person you ask. Kick out of your head the idea of perfection, and understand that nobody thinks the same thing as you do, and watch yourself begin to learn to love the person you are – flawed and all.

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Chapter 11 - Tips To Practice SelfLove Now when you know how to love yourself and what track is good to take you to next level of self-love and contentment with yourself. Here are few simple tips that will ease you to attain and practice self-love. By following these easy steps, you can help yourself with self-love without any trouble. 

Try to get up early morning. Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Yes, its correct by getting up early you can take advantage of extra time you have. When others are sleeping, you can go outside and watch a sun rise. This helps you meditate, complete your work in time, spend time with your dog and do lot more work without disturbing anything at all. When you tick things in your to do list in time it creates a sense achievement, and this will breed self-worth and eventually self-love. Set your alarm and soon you will realize the difference in getting up.

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Your early morning mood decides the fat of your day. When you get up in the morning you must tell yourself a good thing about yourself. One good advice to start your day is to stay away from technology, by checking your cell phone or watching TV. Instead

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Self Love give yourself some love and constantly remind yourself that you are someone special. We have become far too much familiarized with the touch of our phone every single spare second that we don’t have time to think about yourself. Using too much social media like Facebook, twitter and all these apps fail us n terms of becoming social with those actually sitting around us. Similarly, this takes away our personnel alone time, which we need in order to grow into well-shaped human beings, who love ourselves completely. 

Everyone has negative thoughts but don’t make it pattern. Never realize yourself that good things only happen to good people and don’t develop a pessimistic approach towards life. fight against your inner circle to maintain a positive approach towards life. you must understand that things are never going to be perfect always, and you need to make peace with it. If you immediately go down the negative route, every single mishap will become a drama, and you will drag yourself down to unhappiness and self-loathing. If however you can treat every mishap as a road bump, and find a creative solution to it, you’re more likely to feel upbeat at the end of it, and proud of the way you dealt with it

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Relationships are not harmful but chose your 133

Perfect Self partner wisely. When you don’t feelgood with someone or you have to compromise your ego and you are losing an integral part in a relationship, then you need a change either in your relation or your partner. Never let anyone else make you sad all the time and come out of every toxic relationship. You need to believe that you deserve better and that you don’t need anyone else to be happy. Instead of finding your reason for happiness in someone else, you need to find it in you. Of course, this isn’t all about romantic relationships either, because toxic friendships can be just as harmful. A friend who doesn’t have your best interests at heart, and who tries to either incapacitate your happiness or make you feel like a lesser human in comparison, really has no place in your social circle. Surround yourself with those whose presence make you happy and those who support you, whilst offering the same amount of support to them too. 

Celebrate every single achievement . Celebrate every single win that you made doesn’t matter how big or small it could be, but make sure you treat yourself after winning every battle or completing anything significant. Every achievement is something to be proud of, so smile about it and give yourself a treat as a

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Self Love reward. Your levels of self-love will increase with every small achievement, and this harps back to our chapter on making your dreams come true. These don’t have to be big dreams, they can be small milestones towards a bigger achievement, but the important thing is that you are not stopped and moving forwards, and not going backwards. Stay close to those kinds of people who makes you happy. Stay close to those people who make you happy and you feel relax in their presence. Make sure you grow with them and have a healthy relationship with them in future. Your aim should be less but good people, instead having a bunch of folks whom you can’t relate to. When you feel you have people with no more common things or people who bring your confidence down its time to make a decision to leave them and never feel guilty about it. Just embrace the good memories, smile about them, and move on with love in your heart. 

Come out of your comfort zone and experience the magic of life. Believe in your abilities and assure yourself that you are not a box and you have more than four sides. Don’t let anyone or anything define. youEvery occasionally, push your limits and do something out of routine. If 135

Perfect Self you do something you were scared of, the feeling of accomplishment will be immense. You will finally realise that there is some truth in the ‘I can do anything’ I love to , and that will outgrowth you on to do other ‘out of your comfort zone’ things in the future. Before you know it, you’ll be taking on the world and love yourself for it! 

Work for your dreams. If you won’t follow your dreams, you might have the kind of regret that would ruin your whole life. Read back over our chapter on realizing your dreams, and get to work on ticking off that bucket list. Take some time of and don’t over-exhaust yourself. We are bombarded with noise every single day, whether that is from television or checking mobile phones every ten seconds, always being available on social media or emails. Cut your ties and take a break because it will help you spend some time with yourself. Initially turning off your wi-fi will create panic but when you realize the importance of yourself and the time you spend alone, all this feeling will decrease slowly. Don’t worry however, as that feeling will slowly abate if you stick it out, and you will be free to declutter your mind from those comparisons and petty dramas you see on your timeline, and instead you can focus on

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Self Love the way you feel, the small things in life, and you will soon realise that they are actually the big things.

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when you can’t laugh at the same joke over and over again, then you can’t let the same thing make you sad several times. If you have lost a loved one in your life, then don’t let that thought change your personality. Getting disheartened is natural but don’t let that phase take over the better part of your life. you must understand that even grief comes as a phase and has five stages denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance. Move from denial to acceptance at your own speed but don’t let it make you depressed.

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Create a list of your achievements and things that you are grateful for in your life. Whenever you feel depressed, read the list out loud to realize how great you are! Stick that list where its always within your eyesight. It could be on fridge, on desktop, on your door or anywhere in reach. You need to regularly tell yourself how great you really are, listing down the points that make you unique and adorable. If you are kind and you make good desert, write it down! If you are generous and a good football player, write it down! Feel free to add anything you love in that list. Write down everything you love about yourself and that’s the 137

Perfect Self beginning towards self-love but only thing you need to remember is you must believe in those words.

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Express your thoughts in creative way. You can paint your thoughts with the help of paint and brush. you may sing them or write them down in a poem. Learn musical instrument and create a soundtrack for your entire life. discover who you are by spending more time with yourself. Arts can help you a great deal. Getting yourself busy in creative arts will not only reduce negativity around you, but also give you a fantastic way to express your feelings in a creative, enjoyable way. Writing a wonderful therapy, as is painting or dancing. You could put your talent to good use and perhaps paint your house walls, create a picture or sing a birthday song for yourself.

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Be realistic be happy. Always be realistic about your life and expectations. You must understand that there is not a single person in this world who could be happy through out his life. There are chances that you will receive your share of un-happiness and trauma and would be sad for days, months, or even years. But you can not let that one thing ruin your whole life. be positive in your approach with clear prospective and let

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Self Love every occasion in your life happen, deal with it, assess it and overcome the difficulties with passion. What comes up, must come down, and the same can be said for your emotions and the amount you love yourself. Only thing you must remember is that no feeling stays forever, whether it is sad or happy. Never feel sad because of an event, be positive and happiness will come your way with the passage of time and effort you put in. 

Stop waiting for things to happen, make an effort and make them happen. Hard work is a key to success. If you want a thing to happen to you and you are totally depending on luck, that might never happen. But if you work hard for something, with all your available resources, and planes, there are greater chances that one day you will achieve your goals. And when you achieve something, celebrate it, this will skyrocket your self-love levels.

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Don’t seek approval for your actions from someone else. Comparisons and needing validation from others is a sign of poor confidence and a lack of self-love. You need to understand that you are good enough in yourself, and you don’t need any approval from anyone else for that. Of they cannot see it is not your fault. If someone doesn’t like your presence or

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Perfect Self doesn’t love you, its his loss not yours, No need to apologies for that. 

Be happy with what you see in mirror. Beauty is a subjective term, and everyone has its own description of beauty. If someone fails to see beauty in you, its not your fault. Do not compare yourself with anyone else, just believe in yourself that you are beautiful in your own self. Everyone sees beauty differently, and what one person describes as ‘beautiful’ is what someone else describes as ‘ugly’. Be contented with what you see inn mirror and stick with it. Never let body image ruin your life.

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you can do anything when you set your mind to it. Don’t fix yourself in a box. You will be amazed to see your strength, when you expand your thoughts. Be realistic plane your life events. If something goes wrong, make a plane B for that. One day you will achieve everything with believe. If you fail because of a reason out of your control, then it wasn’t a failing, it simply wasn’t meant to be, but at least you tried! The fact you put yourself into the line for the good things in life to happen means that you were determined and focused, and for that reason alone you should love yourself and your persistence.

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Learn the art of waiting. Be patients, and that is another factor that leads you towards happiness. Patience doesn’t come so easily, you might need to put extra effort to understand resolution. Put in your level best, and patience will bring you fruit. Don’t feel bad and never lose hope if you don’t see results strait away, wait for it to happen because all good things take time to happen.

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No one can replace you. You are unique because no one can replace you in this world. It is high-time you start valuing yourself, and understand you are literally irreplaceable. Never allow any one to take you for granted. Don’t wait for someone to admire you, if someone can’t see good in you, just move on. Be a role model and enjoy your life. never look back or have regrets about your past. Try different things in your life and enjoy every bit of it. Put your effort in to make your life beautiful, believe that your dreams will come true one day. Would you want your children or your grandchildren to go through life not loving who they are? Of course not! Be a role model and show them that self-love is the way to go, allowing them to also meet their potential, at the same time as you. 141

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Express Yourself

One of the most empowering ways that you can develop self love is to Be unique in your style...and Show It Off. God has given you by birth right to be yourself, and no one can take it from you. People who have strong sense of self and understand that they are unique, have greater levels of self-love. Embrace your personnel look and style and be proud of it. There is only one of you now,and there will only be one of you for eternity.Express yourself in your own style, don’t copy others, because it creates a sense of comparison, and comparisons are not good for self-love.

Being bold means can mean a lot of different things to different people. Some folks prefer a simpler look that allows them to blend in with the crowd. Others prefer a more upscale style of dress or prefer to adorn themselves casually everywhere that they go. Other people like to express themselves in extreme ways that make them stand out among the crowd. No matter how you choose to express yourself, do so with love and regard for yourself and who you are. Be who you are and wear what to like. No matter what others say about it. Some people dress exactly the way that they feel

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Self Love while others hesitate to wear the things that they really want to wear, style their hair in a specific way ,and be who they really are because they fear the judgment of others. Never limit yourself because of the fear that what others will comment about it, because It is important to remember that no matter what you want to do with yourself, it is your right as a person to be an original. The only person who is holding you back is no one else but You. You may be surprised to find out that people are not be as turned off or turned on by the way you choose to appear as you think. Don’t curse yourself or be ashamed of your personality. Only thing that matters is that you need to make yourself happy, disregard of what others say about it because they are not priority. If they don’t like you its not your fault, it’s their problem. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind”. Bernard M. Baruch Try Something New for a Fresher You. Many of us are not able to understand their true powers and strength because they are too busy in their nine to five routine that they don’t have time for surprises. Be different from time to time and experiment with your schedule, this simple step will lead you

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Perfect Self to new world of pleasant surprises that you never know before. Why not go and try this simple things: •

Be weird. Be different. Sing while driving a car. Wear a dress with your running shoes. Shave your head. Be crazy. Be you.

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Join communities that enhance your skills. Many times we have desire to learn new things or develop new skills but we don't take the time out to do it for ourselves. Attending a workshop, or taking a short course in cooking, or learning a new language can help you expand your horizons and grow as a person.

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Travel alone. Travel to a beautiful island with strangers. Go to a club or anywhere you know. There are likely places in your own home town that you have never been to. Try visiting a local restaurant, go to a cinema, or even attend a concert.

Find peace in

yourself. Appreciate nature and the beauty of life. Go out and see the world. 

Go to whirlpool bath, fly in a mini aircraft, or enjoy a mini shopping spree. Indulge yourself, and enjoy doing it. Check in to a five-star hotel and get the treatment that you deserve.

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Spend time with your friends and enjoy it. When life becomes boring and overloaded with work, a good outing with your buddies can help. Remember to go out

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Self Love not to forget your pain, but to know that you have other people who care and love you as you are. 

Spend a vacation at beautiful beach with your family and loved ones. Spend time with those people who value you. Never de-grade yourself by spending more time with those who are have no real connection with you.

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Try different adventures. Take risks because this will boost your confidence. Try para gliding, rock climbing, or even sea diving. Doing something that requires courage and velour can ignite a spark in you. Do something that is out of routine, this will boost your inner self and you will start valuing yourself. Don’t just rely on life to take you with you, only dead fish go with the flow. Be proud of all your wins and work for your goals with zeal and zest. No one can love you more than yourself. Life is for living, because there is always time for you to rest when you are dead.

We all get just one life to live – and only one life to love! Make it count.

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Chapter 12 – Applying Self-Love At All Times Now when you know different ways to attain self-love, you are ready to implement it in your daily life. here is simple self-love recipe for you to enjoy it every day. They say that you need to do a thing seven times to make it a habit, so I am presenting your 7 days’ challenge to Self-Love. No need to worry if you miss an ingredient or two because it always needs courage and stamina to achieve great things. Just be patient, and always ready to restart again from where you left. If you don’t feel good, just take a break, and start again with new energy. Everything has a pattern that you need to follow, deliberately or un deliberately. In order to land a plane, the pilot follows a certain pattern even he can’t see what is ahead, but he is confident because he is on the right track. A pianist follows certain notes and timing to produce a love melody. A teacher follows a lesson plan. When a weaver asks if she can weave freestyle, she refuses because she knows she will not be able to create a beautiful piece. The traffic flow, the ray of light, the wind blows every event in life in a certain pattern. You are right now in a certain pattern of your life. The things happening today are the result of the pattern you followed. It may be how you respond to a question, how you react to a situation, and how you take things. Your actions and feelings 146

Self Love are a result of these pattern you choose. Now that we know how patterns work, it’s time to create our own pattern to apply self-love in your daily life. In this three simple step plan you can improve your self-love: Accept.

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Accept all your weaknesses and

yourself. All your slip-ups. Everything that is you originally. Fall in love with yourself unconditionally. You forgave yourself and learned. You give yourself a chance to experience life. You wanted to be happy. How to: 

Reward yourself everyday.

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Admire yourself. Appreciate.

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If things are not going the right way assure yourself that it is okay.

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Work out.

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Eat healthy diet.

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Meditate.

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Smile, laugh. Keep good feelings whole day. This is you indulging self-love, and taking responsibility for your own happiness. Having the boldness to 147

Perfect Self show these wonderful things in you to others is you owning yourself. How to: 

Arrange party for family, friends or colleague. Share that good feeling.

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If you find yourself in a bad situation and it is not that impacting, let it go.

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Be helpful be friendly.

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It is okay if someone accidentally hits your car with his bike.

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It’s okay if the waitress got your order wrong. Let her correct it instead.

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Do one welfare to your colleague everyday .

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Help one person a day.

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If you feel anger is in your throat, take a deep breath. If you are standing, sit, of you are sitting, lay down.

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Know your strength and weaknesses. Be aware of your feelings. Appreciate your good work. If something goes wrong, find another way to fix it. Don’t just stick to one failure to ruin the whole dayLet it be part of your awareness that you have

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Self Love that in you. Use your strength to overcome the outcome. o

Explore your real self. Try different things every day. Do one thing that you want. This is you expanding yourself and seeing the world. This is you experiencing greater happiness and showing it off.

How to: 

Watch a movie alone.



Eat in a five star restaurant.



Join a group of people you have been avoiding because you think they’re much better than you.



Go to

a music concert without any

company. 

Take a risk and try something new.



Change your dress that according to your dreams.



Wear that best dress you had been saving for your date.



Walk yourself home instead of driving.

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Perfect Self 

Help someone who is not being helped by anyone else.



Attend a prayer meeting.



Try hiking or bike race .



Read a novel or fantasy book.

Choose at least two in each number from these examples and do it religiously in the next seven days. You can even add more. You can make a list of your own and follow it. Challenge yourself. Make it a habit. Make it your own pattern until you can’t end the day without doing so. Until self-love becomes comfortable, until self-love becomes you.

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Self Love

Final Chapter – “I Love Myself.” We are on the final chapter. After your journey in finding, knowing and fighting for self-love. It is time to check if you attained your goal! After reading and implementing this book into your life, you will ask yourself that do you really love yourself? If the answer is “Yes” then how will you prove it? What are your facts? You checked your journal and saw that you did all that you wrote and reminded yourself to do. The result seems to be positive. when you reach one goal don’t stop and move on towards the next level. Reaching your goal is actually not the end of it, but the beginning of a life full of self-love. When you realize that all the things that you wanted before, like attention from others, material things, and constant sleepless nights to party, are nowhere in your plan tomorrow then you’re on the right track.



Go to your bed early and leave your bed early too when you do not need to go to work. Sleep early because your body needs that sleep to be healthy and getting up early because you need to give yourself extra time to start your day. You are excited about the upcoming events in the day. You want to take a proper care of yourself because you are on next level of self-love and you enjoy every moment of your life. 151

Perfect Self 

Spare some time for yourself and don’t feel ashamed for it because this is not wrong. This time will give you some support before depending on others to lend it.



Be proud of yourself, whenever you see yourself in mirror, see yourself as better person than yesterday. Appreciate your appearance and feel no shame on previous mistakes.



Involve yourself in healthy activities. Go to gym to work out and run every day. Join a yoga class or enrolled to a dance class. You meditate daily. Plane your diet and eat healthy foods. You want to burn that extra weight and shape your body into a healthy life style. You improve yourself every day and feel good about it.



You wanted to look best every day. You take care of yourself. You make sure that you are always in good presentable condition. You keep yourself neat and clean. You buy dress every now and then and not just on special occasions.



Keep a clear schedule for your daily life. you manage your

time

wisely

and

manage

your

budget

meticulously. You make sure you don’t exhaust yourself and you know your limitations. You know your desires and you have enough for them. You know what you need and put extra effort achieve it.

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Self Love 

You are planning for next picnic party or holidays. You wanted to explore new places you are eager to learn new things every day.



You

surprise

the

people

you

love.

You

can

communicate well with people and understand their point of view about life. you are interested in real conversation with others. 

You have no problem to spend whole day with yourself, infect you enjoy your company. You can sit all day and enjoy study. You are satisfied with yourself. You can meditate and enjoy YouTube. You cook special recipe for yourself and you are not worried about going anywhere on Friday or Saturday night.



You know your rights and practice them. Basically, you want to do something meaningful every day like supporting a good cause, taking part in some charity, or volunteering yourself for some good cause like blood donation. You forgive very easily because there are bigger things to follow than being involved in hating and revenge.



You are free to make your decisions without any interception from others. You are not bound to please other people. You decide what to do and when to say no.

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Perfect Self 

You are motivated to go to work every day. Your progress at work is improving and is visible. Positive Change in your behavior is noticed by others.



You say what you like and what you dislike. You explain yourself when needed. You choose sensible words for every topic, in your statuses in Facebook, twitter, and Instagram. You are well aware of yourself without any extra effort. You are not bothered if others don’t agree with your point of view.



You are free to express your feelings your own way even when others put you down. You discard their negative words and still prosper towards positivity.



You always accept constructive criticism and you have filters for negative, meaningless words. You always criticize back without feeling hurt. You always forget ill meaning words said about you and you are always ready to move on.



You set small goals and little targets for yourself. You work hard for them and you are patient to wait for them until you are successful. You know you deserve success.



You believe in yourself. You block all event that happened in past and are a hurdle to your bright future. You change yourself to different situations accordingly and don’t stick to a negative point or downfall for too

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Self Love long. You believe that your future is better than your past. 

You like adventures. You don’t feel hesitant to take risks. You do what you want, and you are not afraid of results. You expect the best results, but if the things go wrong, you are not



You are willing to take risks on achieving your dreams. You do what you want, and you are not afraid of the outcome. You are just expecting the best. If things turn out bad, you are not traumatised. You forgive yourself and move on.

1214353A lot more that you might be surprise about, self-love is continuous, it doesn’t stop after reaching your goal. I’m sure by now you are amazed how truly loving yourself can change your life forever. How unbelievable it is to find that unconditional love. It is not within anyone else but in you. All the love that you’re looking for, all the love that you deserve is in you. What else can you be asking for? In self-love there is more. This love is progressive and balanced. The more you desire it, the more you sense completeness, happiness and contentment. Loving yourself comes naturally for you now. Your goals from here are clearer, and you are working hard on achieving them. Happiness is in you and you wanted to explore it more. You are ready to face the world in whatever shape and curves you 155

Perfect Self might find in it. The desire to love oneself is the quintessence of the virtue of love.

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Self Love

Conclusion What an amazing journey that was! Congratulations for completing the book so soon. We are sure you must have had a great time reading this thoughtful guide. Too often, it doesn’t take the entire world to make us happy. The journey to attain self-love starts and ends at the same place – yourself. Whilst you might have started this book doubting that you would ever complete this journey, thinking it was an impossible goal, you should now see that the journey towards self-love can be completed, provided you are keen and eager to complete it. Nothing is ever easy in life, and this particular goal is certainly one which takes a lot soul searching and hard work. In this book, you were able to understand the significance of self-love and got to know more about the kind of things that one should do in order to attain self-love. We’ve gone through some struggles in attaining self-love based on life’s factors. We also discussed the laws of self-love that will make you experience this emotion in its best way with the help of our insightful tips, we are sure you will be able to practice self-love without any trouble. We even take the 7 days’ challenge in applying self-love in our daily lives. Lastly, we assessed ourselves to see if we did achieve self-love, and how this love enveloped us in so much greatness and happiness. Simply reading this book and briefly pondering the ideas 157

Perfect Self herein is not enough to change the quality of your life and to truly become more self compassionate. You must take the time to complete the exercises in this book so that you are able to grow and self-love everyday. Put into action the tips that you can have learned so that you can start improving your life and raising your level of self-love today. Self love is the greatest love of all, but surprisingly, not everyone out there can understand its power. Self-love can heal the deepest of scars and can bring a positive change in every individual. Life is short and you should make it count, by living every bit of it at its best. One can’t really find happiness and contentment in chaos. Let go of the things you don’t want in your life anymore and try to discover yourself in the most unimaginable way. Remember, you are born not to please anyone. All you can do is love yourself and that should be more than enough. Be limitless. Be who you are and fall in love with yourself with every passing day. It is certainly the best feeling in this world. If you’ve got to the end of the book and you don’t feel like you have completed your journey, don’t worry. This isn’t easy, as we’ve said time and time again, and it will take you a considerable period to actually complete it. Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s, and simply work through every step slowly and completely until you feel ready to move onto the next one. 158

Self Love Life is a journey in itself, but the journey to self-love is one which will make and complete your life in its entirety. Good luck!

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