Poppy's Corner, A Christmas Story By Steven Donnini

“Poppy’s Corner” by Steven Donnini

by Steven Donnini Copyright 2004

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Introduction

“Poppy’s

Corner”

is

a

24

hour

urban

Convenience

Store

located in an inner city neighborhood of Buffalo, New York. The store is small, with a counter, microwave, display racks for chips, snacks, overhead racks for cigarettes, soda, beer and wine coolers.

The front of the counter is

tightly packed shelving containing packages of everything from BC Powder to Kodak film.

After midnight, Poppy’s

store becomes the Mecca of activity for the night crawlers and lost souls from the old inner city streets.

I first walked into Poppy’s corner store on Niagara St. in Buffalo, New York in 1970. Buffalo night.

It was a warm oasis on a frigid

Poppy’s is the only neighborhood 24-hour

convenience store within many blocks, complete with a counter, display racks for snacks, chips, candy, magazines, beer, wine and soda coolers.

Hanging from the ceiling are

racks of cigarettes, Kodak film, BC Powder, and cigarette lighters.

I bought a pack of Camel cigarettes and haven’t

been back until now.

It hasn’t changed much in 30 years.

It’s still the after midnight Mecca for the night crawlers and lost souls from the old eastside city streets.

Poppy,

once a spry young Polish Jewish emigrant, is now house

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bound most of the time.

He supervises his many convenience

stores by phone.

OMAR Lotta, night shift store manager in his fifties has no illusions about life in the city after midnight.

He has

seen all kinds of people come into the store over the years and has developed his own way of dealing with problems. OMAR, “I learned that these animals would kill you for five bucks, or just for fun.

Now, when they take out a knife or

gun, I take things into my own hands. Beauty.”

I call it my Black

He holds up a black aluminum bat.

“It’s the

cornerstone of my urban pacification system.” Poppy hired single mom SALLY Amagone as night shift cashier to work with OMAR.

She has a well-developed sense of

morality and is easy going by nature.

Their shift starts

at 11:00 PM and ends at 7:00 AM. The Holidays are always the time when family history and new conflicts come to the surface.

SALLY, “My brother came

home for Christmas last year looking like a member of the Skinheads, complete with a shaved head and Swastika tattoos.

He was pierced everywhere, including his penis

where he has tattooed that reads: Up with White Power. When he tried to show it to everyone, Dad told him to leave, before he lost his manhood forever.”

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SALLY bets the agnostic OMAR, that before Christmas Day he will witness a real miracle and it will be acknowledged by a higher power.

For 30 year old MITCH Alveraz, a regular

at Poppy’s, its always difficult being around family.

But,

now things have gotten a lot hotter, because he ripped off drug dealers to cover his young wife’s hospital bill. MITCH, “I went to confession, the Priest said I was in mortal danger and that I better put my affairs in order.” AUGGY Bazyki, 32, is a childhood friend of MITCH and a Poppy’s regular.

They have grown up on the same street,

went to school together, and have been busted together many times for a few misdemeanor crimes and a petty drug possession, a marijuana joint.

AUGGY battles manic

depression (Bipolar Disorder).

AUGGY comes into Poppy’s

one night, desperate for money. demands money from SALLY.

He pulls out a gun and

OMAR quickly disarms him, to

discover it’s a life like plastic toy gun.

AUGGY can’t

afford to get arrested again, so OMAR lets him go, after all it was a toy gun.

AUGGY, “Poppy has been ripping me

off for years, it’s time I got something back.”

There are

always the store videotapes that Poppy’s likes to look at. Every time there’s an armed robbery in the store the insurance goes up, so they keep the tapes and don’t call the police unless there’s gunfire or someone gets

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assaulted.

AUGGY’S robbery attempt is one of those times

when it’s better for everyone to just forget it.

Then, one

night before Christmas, MITCH’S drug dealing friends come looking for him at Poppy’s.

“Two-Step” (Mora Edelstein)

enters the store for a pack of cigarettes. she looks like she stepped out of the 60’s.

Nearly fifty, She turned out

to be what everyone was warned they would become if they didn’t stop taking drugs.

After a stroke, caused by crack

cocaine use, left her right leg limp, everyone started to call her Two-Step.

Because, she had to take two steps to

keep up with everyone else.

Later, the drug dealers arrive

at Poppy’s. They drive by and fire their guns into the store breaking glass windows and wine bottles.

When the shooting was over

MITCH, SALLY, and OMAR are all hunkered down on the floor behind the counter.

Two-Step was gone, and there was a

blood trail going out the backdoor leading into the alley. OMAR calls Poppy to report the events of the night.

He’s

concerned that the store could loose its NY State Alcohol License because of the shooting.

They agree they must file

a police report. It is Christmas Eve, SALLY and OMAR have just started their shift.

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MITCH comes in for a pack of smokes.

SALLY asks, “So,

what’s your story for the Narcotics Anonymous group?” MITCH answers, “This is the way I tell it in group.

It was

a cold winter night and a Puerto Rican drug gang was after me, so I took shelter in Poppy’s Corner Store.

They came

to the store for me and drove by shooting bullets through the store-hitting TWO-STEP in the chest. straight through her lung.

Blood squirted everywhere,

that’s when I had my moment of clarity. to stop doing drugs.

It traveled

Then, I knew I had

I had to do something different,

otherwise like they say at NA, I was going to jail or the morgue, one or the other.

The Buffalo Police arrested me.

When I stood in front of the judge, I said that I was sorry that I had caused so much pain to my family and to TWOSTEP.

He asked me who TWO-STEP was, so I explained that

she had a stroke from rock cocaine. shooting.

I told him about the

He said it’s a miracle that she’s still alive.”

OMAR sums up the story… “I think SALLY was right about some things, at least the part about it being a miracle that TWO-STEP survived a bullet through her lung. MITCH, well, he has a tendency for creating misfortune for everyone around him.

Maybe a job in the health insurance

industry or a full time rehab counselor position would get him off the street.

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AUGGY

packs more mischief, pound for pound, than anyone I

know.

It’s not because he’s bipolar, although I’m sure

that doesn’t help matters.

He’s got no direction or

impulse control. TWO-STEP? I think things would have worked out differently if she had stopped using pot, crack cocaine and LSD.

At

one time, she wasn’t a bad looking girl. SALLY is right about me though, I’m a Scorpio and it’s hell when I can’t find someone to fight with.

Fortunately, this

time of the year there are lots of opportunities to fight with my family.

It isn’t that I don’t like my family, it’s

that I can’t stand to be around them for more than 3 hours a year or I get a sick feeling in my gut. Every once in a while someone like SALLY will surprise me. I don’t agree with most of her religious dogma, but she has a gift, an unexpected kindness that causes a lot of strange feelings in me.

I think it’s only right to have more than

one miracle in a Christmas story even if the people don’t deserve it.”

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Poppy’s Corner

By Steven D. Donnini

Library Of Congress WGA Copyright Steven Donnini 2004

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Setting “Poppy’s Corner” (24 hour) urban Convenience Store Buffalo, NY.

The store is small, with a counter, microwave, display racks for chips, snacks, cooler for drinks (pop, beer, wine) and overhead racks for cigarettes. The front of the counter is tightly packed shelving and packages of everything from BC power to Kodak film. After midnight, Poppy’s store becomes the Mecca of activity for the night crawlers and lost souls from the city streets.

CHARACTERS Jack “OMAR” Lotta Fifty year old, Iranian night shift convenience store manager with no illusions about life in the city. SALLY Amagone 35 year old night shift cashier with easy nature and a well developed sense of morality.

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MITCH (Michael Alveraz) 30 year old Puerto Rican drug user, trafficker, store customer. He has a history petty crimes. AUGGY Bazycki He is a 25 year old store customer that battles manic depression (Bipolar Disorder). TWO-STEP (Mora Edelstien). A 35-year-old woman that looks like she stepped out of the 60’s. She’s become a spaced out crack head and frequent store customer.

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INTERIOR POPPY’S STORE NIGHT Midnight at Poppy’s Convenience Store, Omar is stocking the cigarettes over the counter. Sally is counting money for the safe drop. The store is decorated with Holiday lights and décor. OMAR The Holidays are here again. When I was a kid Iran it was fun but now. Forget it. SALLY I haven’t started shopping for my kid. Cole doesn’t seem to give a damn about Jenny. He calls and tells her he’ll pick her up a 5:00 and then he doesn’t show. He gets drunk with his friends at the restaurant he works at. He always preferred barfly friends to family. OMAR Family is highly over rated. I don’t know too many people that can honestly say that they would love to live next door to their family members. SALLY What about your Mom? She seems very sweet. Whenever she calls I enjoy talking with her. OMAR I love my Mom! But, I don’t want to live with her. SALLY Don’t you want to see your sisters at Christmas?

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OMAR Yeah. Well that’s a different story. It all depends on which one. We had a falling out when my older sister gave up Islam and became a Krishna Hindu. SALLY As in Hare Krishna? OMAR Like the ones wrapped with the pink cloth, selling the Hindu books about their Lord Krishna. She went to live in San Francisco in 1972. They must have got her in an airport or shopping mall. It’s communal, they all pray, eat and live together. She acts as if she’s stoned all the time. There’s a lot of preying, dancing and Curry. SALLY How did the rest of the family take it? OMAR Well, it was quite the sight table Thanksgiving Day. Half Christian. The other half is When sister showed up Hindu, tried not to look at her.

at the dinner the family is Islamic. my Mother

SALLY Sounds like a Norman Rockwell moment. OMAR There was my sister wrapped in pink from her shaved head to her dirty toes. My corn fed Christian Fundamentalists, had their own kind of hand signals to express displeasure. Their kids just couldn’t take their eyes off her.

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SALLY My brother came home for Christmas last year looking like a member of the Manson family. Complete with shaved head and Swastikas tattoos. He was pierced everywhere, including his penis where he has a tattooed “Up with White Power”. When he tried to show it to everyone, my Dad told the stupid fool to leave. OMAR I’ve been called a fool, but not a stupid fool. That’s got to hurt. SALLY Well, my Mom started crying and wouldn’t talk for the rest of the day. OMAR I meant the tattooing and piercing his penis. SALLY I’m sure it did. Yahweh bless him. OMAR How do you know Yahweh would bless him? SALLY I know you don’t believe in Jesus. I’ll make a bet with you that before Christmas you’ll be a believer. OMAR You’re on. What’s the bet?

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SALLY He will make his presence known and you will give me three nights off work. If he doesn’t, I’ll cover for you for three nights. OMAR You’ve got a bet. SALLY You will be a witness to a supernatural event. A miracle. OMAR All right! It’s snowing again. The last time it came down like this was in ’97. SALLY Yeah. That was some storm. OMAR That’s the winter I almost lost my eyesight. SALLY That’s scary. OMAR It was OK after a few weeks. But I had to wear blinders on my eyes the whole time. SALLY What happened?

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OMAR I was working in Poppy’s, Main street store, and this punk came in to rob me. I told him to go get a job and he stabbed me right here and thumbed me in the eyes. Then he took all the cash. (OMAR shows a scar on his stomach.) SALLY That’s why I don’t carry lots of cash. So, what happened? OMAR I learned that these animals would kill you just for fun. Now, when they take out a knife or gun, I take things into my own hands. SALLY What happened to your ear? (SALLY points to OMAR half missing ear.) OMAR One night at the Pelican Bar and I got drunk. SALLY Yeah and… OMAR I got in a fight with a punk and he cut my ear like this. The piece of ear fell under a table or something, we never did find it. The place was full of rats. (OMAR leans to her to show off the sliced off ear.)

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SALLY That’s OK you don’t need to show me. I used to work in the ER at Buffalo General. You wouldn’t believe it. Saturday nights the blood would get all over the floors. I’ve seen it all, knifings, shootings, car accidents and over doses. After two years, I had seen more than enough. (AUGGY walks in the door and shakes of the snow from his parker.) AUGGY Wow! Man, it’s winterized out there. This is why people go to Florida. SALLY Where have you been? Haven’t seen you in a while. AUGGY In the lock up. SALLY What did you do? OMAR Why ask? (AUGGY is walking around the store in circles.) AUGGY A bogus bust. But it’s 30 days of clean clothes, warm bed and 3 meals a day. Praise the lord. Give me a quart of Bull and a pack of Kools.

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OMAR looks at AUGGY with suspicion. OMAR You got cash? AUGGY stops walking and cocks his head back. AUGGY Just enough to get bye. SALLY with little concern. SALLY You don’t look so good. OMAR There’s crank on the street. (Goading) AUGGY You’re the man. (Angry) AUGGY pays for his cigarettes and beer and leaves the store. SALLY Why do you always ride him? OMAR These people are all the same. (His face expressing the apathy of the street) When they get into the rock cocaine. They’ll do anything. SALLY Bless them.

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OMAR I have to wait on them, but I don’t have to care about them. There’s all kinds of losers out there. Lazy losers, Stupid losers, smart ass losers and poor lotto losers. I want to be a rich lotto winner. SALLY They’re harmless. OMAR Harmless? Bullshit, they don’t know I have the anti theft, urban pacification system? OMAR lifts a black aluminum baseball bat from behind the counter, his arms covered with tattoos. SALLY Since, I’ve been here you haven’t needed it. OMAR When I first started working for Poppy, I was robbed every damn week. It was the same gang. Word travels fast when you’re a push over. After the first month I wised up. SALLY OH? OMAR One night a couple of balloon heads came in, they didn’t look good to me. So, before they had a chance to pull a gun or knife I asked them to leave. They gave me some lip…

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so I gave them some fat lip. OMAR swings the bat. SALLY They know we don’t have much cash in the till. OMAR $200 will buy enough rock for a day. SALLY Most of them just want to come in and get a pack of smokes. OMAR walks over to the door and opens it for TWO-STEP. SALLY What can I do for you? TWO-STEP A pack of Winston please. SALLY Isn’t it cold out there? TWO-STEP shakes off the snow like a dog. TWO-STEP Yeah. It’s a tight cold, with the wind and all. SALLY We’re expecting more snow tonight.

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TWO-STEP I need to warm up a bit, before I go home. OMAR Stick around we could use the company. So, What’s up with Yahweh? What about Jahovah? SALLY Yahweh is the real name of God. The J in Jehovah didn’t exist until 200 years ago. TWO-STEP Bless you. People should use a person’s real name. OMAR (Pointing at TWO-STEP) You’d think that Yahweh would have taken better care of her. SALLY The Lord works to teach everyone about compassion. TWO-STEP I don’t blame Yahweh for my disability. OMAR How’d you get so messed up? TWO-STEP It wasn’t me that caused it.

SALLY

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It’s the way it is. We all have a place in Yahweh’s grand plan. OMAR Yahweh is into selling cigarettes and beer? I’m supposed to be stuck in this place from 12 midnight until 8 in the morning, because Yahweh wants me to learn something? SALLY Yeah looks that way. TWO-STEP When I was in the hospital after the stroke, I saw angels. OMAR Right, I saw Santa Claus standing on the street begging for money. SALLY So, you don’t have to see everything that way. TWO-STEP Some other people see Angels and believe they are real. OMAR I can see this conversation is going to evolve into a Bible Story. Maybe it will be put into a future version of the Bible.

SALLY

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You don’t have to believe in Jesus. But he is the only way you’re going to go to heaven. OMAR I thought I had found heaven when I met Rita. TWO-STEP You can’t find heaven through another person. OMAR You just said that I could find heaven through Jesus. SALLY Jesus was the Son of Yahweh. Other people are just people. OMAR I have been bathed in the blood of the lamb, just like you. SALLY Oh? OMAR When I was 13, my oldest sister was drawn into a group of Christian Fundamentalists. SALLY So, what’s so bad about that? OMAR

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My parents are old school Islamic, they thought it would be good for me to get away from the gang I was hanging with in. OMAR They enrolled me in an Islamic youth camp. SALLY Was it a good experience? OMAR I ran away after 3 days. I just didn’t get it. The whole thing was about getting from one meeting to another. It’s all gibberish to me. If Allah really cared about me, things would have been different. TWO-STEP I’ll pray for you. OMAR No thanks. I’ll do my own praying. I’m afraid you’ll screw it up. SALLY Jesus is always there when you’re ready. OMAR So, are Jack Daniels and Disneyland? TWO-STEP I used to feel that way. SALLY

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I think we need some music around here, to lighten things up. OMAR Oh Jesus, not the Mormons. I’d rather listen to the Hare Krishna’s. How about, the Pope Sings Album? SALLY turns on CD of Christmas music. TWO-STEP I like it. OMAR I’ve got to change the security tapes. OMAR takes a box of VHS tape and walks into the back room. SALLY I think his family has hurt him. TWO-STEP My family is still in town. They call me all the time wanting money to help support Mom. SALLY Oh. TWO-STEP It’s hard enough to take care of myself. SALLY Yeah, me too. TWO-STEP

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I still feel guilty. SALLY My Mom’s in a nursing home. The other day an old man tried to get in bed with her. She’s a double amputee. She called for help. The nurse came to her rescue. Thank Yahweh. TWO-STEP I thought that I was going to be placed in a home by the state. SALLY Why is that? TWO-STEP Well, I was using rock. I’ve been arrested more times than I can remember. SALLY Did you think about quitting? TWO-STEP The last time the judge said I was going to jail or to rehab or placed in a state home for the insane. SALLY So, you choose rehab? TWO-STEP Yeah, it was so hard on my brain. I got some rock from another inmate. They told me I had a stroke.

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But I think they just wanted to slow me down with some other drugs. I blew a gasket. OMAR walks back into the store from the back room. OMAR Have you tried the new scratch off game from the Lotto? TWO-STEP Nope. OMAR It’s just a buck. Try one. It’s called “Big Pig”. If you scratch three little pigs you win. TWO-STEP All right. OMAR pulls out a roll of playing cards and tears one off. He hands one to TWO-STEP. She eagerly scrapes away the soft silver covering from the card on the countertop. TWO-STEP I’m a winner. It says so right here. Three little pigs. OMAR (Incredulous) Let me see that. He looks at the card for some time.

OMAR

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Looks like your $35 dollars richer. Sign the back and I’ll give you the cash. SALLY Great. I haven’t seen a winner yet. You’re the first. TWO-STEP That calls for a celebration. SALLY What’s your pleasure? TWO-STEP I’ll take café mocha, and a sweet roll. OMAR Want to try your luck again. SALLY Do you want the sweet roll heated? TWO-STEP Sure. SALLY puts the sweet roll in the microwave. MITCH opens the front door and enters looking edgy. OMAR Hi. What’s happening man?

MITCH

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I’m stressed out. MITCH waves OMAR to him as he walks to the back of the store. OMAR Yeah? MITCH Come here. SALLY Hi there. OMAR So? MITCH These guys are out to kill me. OMAR What the happened? MITCH I told you about my wife getting sick. OMAR OK. I remember. That was a while ago. MITCH Well I didn’t have any health insurance. She didn’t want to go to county hospital so I had to do a deal. It was woman stuff, you know. The surgery was $40,000.

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OMAR What are you talking about? MITCH These guys needed someone to deliver a package and collect money in Detroit. So, I did it and got ripped off. I came back empty handed. OMAR Oh shit your screwed. They’re going to kill you. MITCH I gave them back $10,000. But that isn’t going to do it for them. They want it all. Now. OMAR Where did you get $10,000? MITCH That’s confidential. My wife has been answering the phone and listening to what they’re going to do to her if I don’t pay. OMAR Who is it? MITCH Recco is the one that I’m most afraid of. He’s killed guys before. OMAR Can you send your wife out of town for a while?

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MITCH She said that if she leaves, it would be for good. OMAR Maybe that’s not so bad. She got you into this in the first place. MITCH You know how much I love her. OMAR Be realistic she is 25 years old and you’re too old. MITCH I know, but I love her. You know what it’s like. OMAR Women want two things from older guys like us. Sex and Security. That’s all. The love thing is all about what we want and they play to it. MITCH I believe she loves me. OMAR For woman love is a matter of convenience. Let me buy you a beer. OMAR walks behind the counter and opens a bottle of Rolling Rock and hands it to MITCH.

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MITCH Thanks. SALLY You’re not going to drink that in the store? OMAR It’s cold out. Give the guy a break. SALLY The sign says, No alcohol Consumption, No Guns, in this store. OMAR I don’t see any open bottle. SALLY If a cop sees him, you’re in trouble, not me. OMAR So what? SALLY So, Poppy told me, don’t ever let anyone drink beer or wine in the store. OMAR Poppy isn’t here. Right? MITCH I don’t see him.

OMAR

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Give it a rest, it’s the Holidays. TWO-STEP He’s right, it’s Holiday time. Let’s party! SALLY Not me. OMAR opens the cooler. OMAR What do you folks want to drink? TWO-STEP B&J tropical wine cooler. MITCH Give me a Bull. OMAR What if your new friends from Detroit show up? MITCH I’ll slide out the back. SALLY I’ll have a Yoo-Hoo. AUGGY walks in the front door. OMAR Didn’t expect you back so soon.

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AUGGY It’s dropped 10 degrees. SALLY Join the party. AUGGY Don’t mind if I do. OMAR What’s your pleasure? The drinks are on the house. AUGGY pulls out a gun from inside his old army coat. AUGGY Give me all the money in the cash register. SALLY Oh my. OMAR What the are you doing? AUGGY I mean it. Get over there and put all the cash in a bag. OMAR No way.

SALLY

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OK. Just don’t point that thing at anyone. It could go off. AUGGY You all think I’m crazy and you’re right. OMAR Don’t give him a dime. AUGGY Do you want me to shoot you? SALLY No. You don’t need to do that. I’ll give you the money. OMAR No don’t. Poppy will fire us. SALLY Do I care? AUGGY I’m in a hurry. Don’t screw around. OMAR We know you. The police will be looking for you. AUGGY Poppy has been ripping me off for Year’s. It’s time I got something back. SALLY

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What are you talking about? AUGGY You charge 20 cents more than anywhere else for a pack of cigarettes and 50 cents more for beer. OMAR Tell me where you can go around here for a beer and cigarettes in the middle of the night? AUGGY So what? What’s the difference? It’s still a pack of cigarettes. OMAR But, when you want them bad enough you pay more. AUGGY So it’s all about taking advantage of me because I need them. MITCH That’s called Capitalism. Put people down, hold them down, and charge them more for a simple pleasure. TWO-STEP Yeah. We have nowhere else to go at this time of the night. So, while Poppy sleeps we pay more. OMAR The point is, this is Poppy’s store. MITCH

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Then why are you giving stuff away? SALLY It’s the holiday season. OMAR See you can’t show a little Holiday sprit without it getting you in trouble. AUGGY I still want the money. OMAR Go ahead shoot me. AUGGY So you want me to shoot? SALLY Please put the gun down. I’ll get the money. OMAR I’m the store manager, I say, no way. MITCH Shoot him in the butt. AUGGY Why would I do that? MITCH That way he won’t die. AUGGY

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I’d rather shoot him in the foot. MITCH No too messy. OMAR How would you both like to meet Black Beauty? AUGGY What’s that? MITCH It’s the baseball bat he keeps behind the counter. AUGGY I’m getting sick of all this bullshit talk. Hand it over. SALLY There’s only $28 in the register. TWO-STEP Jesus, that’s hardly worth getting in trouble over. AUGGY Everybody just shut up. SALLY Don’t get upset. Now there’s always another way to get what you need.

OMAR

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If you’re going to shoot me, go for it. AUGGY I know how to use this. OMAR I bet it isn’t even loaded. AUGGY Here see. AUGGY points the pistol at the floor and pulls the trigger. The hammer clicks, but nothing happens. OMAR See, I told you. SALLY I knew you didn’t want to shoot anyone. SALLY reaches into her purse and takes out a $20 bill. OMAR No. Don’t give him anything. SALLY He’ll pay me back. Right AUGGY. AUGGY Sure. When I get my check on the 15th. OMAR He’s what I call a Mama Moocher. TWO-STEP

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He’s just trying to get by. MITCH I say let Black Beauty do the talking. As long as I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you with a gun. Hit him! Knock some sense into him. OMAR No body is going to hit anybody. I don’t want the hassle. We don’t want a trip to the Emergency Room. Give me that gun before you get yourself killed. AUGGY hands OMAR the gun. AUGGY I didn’t really want to hurt anyone. The phone rings. SALLY picks it up. SALLY Hello! Hi Poppy it’s kind of late for you, what’s up? It’s a slow night because of the snowstorm. How’s the family? OMAR He’s just checking to see if someone is here. SALLY Don’t worry, everything is fine, have a good night. SALLY puts the phone back on the wall mount.

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TWO-STEP That old man knows where every penny is. MITCH Is he a Jew? OMAR I think he’s from Armenia or Serbia. All I know is that he’s been good to me. SALLY Why do you care where he came from? MITCH Just look around at all the stores, the owners are Jews or Pakistanis. TWO-STEP What about the Koreans? There are lots of them that own shops too. AUGGY Yeah. They got lots of money from selling that knock off stuff. OMAR Why don’t Puerto Ricans own shops? AUGGY I wasn’t going to hurt nobody. SALLY So, what are we going to do? OMAR

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He’s harmless. SALLY But, Poppy looks at all the store tapes. OMAR I’ll explain that he was just kidding and that it was a plastic gun. SALLY Aren’t we on tape now? OMAR Why the change of heart? SALLY Well, he had the gun pointed at us, now he doesn’t. OMAR Yeah. So let’s just pretend everything is OK. There’s no sound recording. Poppy didn’t want to pay more for the microphone to be installed. AUGGY Sorry, I didn’t mean for you all to get in trouble. OMAR The only person that’s in trouble is MITCH. MITCH What?

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OMAR Tell them. MITCH I don’t want to. OMAR MITCH has a Puerto Rican drug gang looking for him. That’s why he can’t go home. MITCH It’s a little misunderstanding. OMAR Mister wise guy here got ripped off by some drug guys in Detroit and now the guys that own the stuff are going to kill him if he doesn’t come up with $30,000. Is that about right? SALLY So, now you’re a drug dealer? MITCH Fuck No. I was just moving it for enough money to pay for my wives surgery. They ripped me off. TWO-STEP If they see you here they’ll kill all of us. AUGGY

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Oh Yeah! MITCH How would you know? OMAR Because he’s a fuck up too. MITCH They won’t want to be seen. SALLY So, You’re going to hide until they kill your wife? OMAR Of course, that’s what he is doing. SALLY Send her to Puerto Rico until things blow over. MITCH She won’t go. She would never leave her mother alone. Besides, these guys don’t forgive or forget. TWO-STEP Don’t you get tired of the hassle? AUGGY Every day.

SALLY

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What if I told you there’s a way out of all this? OMAR Here comes the fish people story. TWO-STEP Let her talk. SALLY Jesus was born to save you from all this. AUGGY And you read this in the Bible? SALLY Yes, at church Bible study. OMAR It’s only a story some guys John, Isaiah and Ezekiel wrote. AUGGY I wonder what they were smoking. MITCH Christmas is about getting people deeper in debt. SALLY You must be one of those liberals that believe government should take care of you or that the credit card makes you use it. MITCH

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I’ll tell you, Ezekiel can’t get these gangsters off my ass. OMAR The Church changes the good book every few years. The New Revised Fundamentalists Version number two. TWO-STEP Everybody is afraid that Yahweh doesn’t really exist. So we can’t live up to what we are told is right. Personally I like the Baptist. It’s simple you do it their way or you burn in hell. MITCH Look at you. Do you think if there was a Jesus that he would have healed you? TWO-STEP It was that hospital that did this to me. They’ve got some powerful drugs there. They can kiss my ass. SALLY Jesus can save you from a life of torment and an eternity in hell. OMAR Then why are you here in the middle of all this?

SALLY

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I don’t know. But, I know you’re going to hell. AUGGY I’m an expert on that. MITCH I went to confession and the Priest said I was in mortal danger and that I better put my affairs in order. AUGGY Minga! You’re going to hell for sure. SALLY Not if he takes Jesus in his heart. Ah, The Catholic Church is all about rituals. OMAR So, all the Catholics, Jews and Arabs are going to hell. What a bunch of bull shit. SALLY Well yes. I’m afraid so. TWO-STEP It’s going to be hot and crowded. Based on what I’ve seen. OMAR Look, the only thing that matters is that you have enough cash to get by. Not having money is hell.

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SALLY Believe what you want now. But when the end comes you’ll change your mind. My Dad was a life long atheist and in his final moments, he accepted Jesus into his heart. TWO-STEP We will all cover our bets at that point. MITCH Do you know where I can stay for a few weeks? AUGGY You know what I’d do? MITCH What? AUGGY Run to Puerto Rico and hide. The gangs don’t like to go there. OMAR He’s right. If you go to Puerto Rico they won’t find you. MITCH I know an artist that was selling weed in the city for $2,000 an ounce. He was making so much cash that he couldn’t put it into a bank. So, he bought six acres in Puerto Rico. Over the years he transported backpacks of cash to his concrete bunker in the hills overlooking a US Navy gunnery range.

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OMAR Go to the DEA and tell your story and see if they’ll help. MITCH Like a snitch? AUGGY You may have to shop your story around. MITCH If the DEA doesn’t like your story, then take it to the District Attorneys Office, or the FBI, DIA, CIA, or the Homeland Security guys. Then take the best deal. OMAR I’ve heard that you get relocated and set up. Even paid cash. You just can’t talk to anyone in your family, ever. MITCH That won’t work with my wife. She’s a blabbermouth. AUGGY If you can’t trust her, why did you marry her? MITCH I didn’t know. SALLY You need some family therapy.

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MITCH We tried that. I couldn’t get a word in edge wise. All she talked about was her problem with her father. And how controlling I am. SALLY She was just, you know venting. OMAR Yeah, I went to therapy, after my first divorce. SALLY There see, I’m sure you have changed. AUGGY How many times have you been married? OMAR 4 times. SALLY I think I spoke too soon. OMAR I learned they all had things in common. SALLY Go on, what? OMAR They all had the same name. Rita. I have a thing about the name Rita. The Rita’s looked alike and after a while they all sounded like my mother.

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MITCH They’re all named Rita? OMAR opens his wallet and shows the photos of his Rita’s and children. OMAR Here look for yourself. SALLY This is news to me. Let me see the photos. OMAR Their mostly my kids. SALLY Are these photos in order? OMAR Yeah, I do that so I can keep track. MITCH You must have to pay a bundle in support. OMAR That’s mostly over now. I maybe the only man who didn’t learn anything from getting divorced. SALLY (looking at photos) I can’t tell them apart. OMAR On my 45th birthday, all the Rita’s got together and took me to court.

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MITCH Oh man! That’s the worst. OMAR Well, the judge gave them my business to divide between them. So, I had to sell out to my partner. SALLY What kind of business was it? OMAR A concrete construction company. MITCH What a kick in the nads. OMAR They’ve gone through all the money, in the last few years. SALLY So, that’s why you’re working here. OMAR Low overhead. I find it’s best to fly below the radar when it comes to ex wives. SALLY See you have learned something from these women. OMAR Self preservation comes to the rescue. TWO-STEP

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I hear you. MITCH That’s why I don’t want to get divorced. AUGGY I haven’t found the right woman. SALLY She will need to be a special lady. TWO-STEP I’ve got just the right woman for you. AUGGY No way. TWO-STEP You haven’t even seen her. How can you say that? AUGGY Well. I want her to find me. Besides I learned early on that women are like ducks. When they hang out together they look alike. No offence. TWO-STEP So, put a want ad in the personal ads. OMAR A wannabe-armed robber looking for a 25 year old, tall, beautiful, woman with steady job.

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SALLY That’s not nice. Kindness matters. MITCH Let me take a shot at it. 35-year-old professional bachelor, looking for romance with a woman of means. AUGGY I like that one. Women like romance. SALLY That’s misrepresenting yourself. AUGGY Everybody does it, in the beginning, at least for the first six months or so. OMAR I hear that. Rita #1 was a compulsive gambler. I didn’t know until we went to Vegas. SALLY Wow. So was my ex. He’s a very smart guy. Just ask him, he’ll tell you all about his Law Degree from NYU. He fizzled out after he got the diploma. OMAR We went on our honeymoon in Vegas. She never left the casino. MITCH How much did she loose? OMAR

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$19,000. SALLY Cole lost a bowling alley in a card game in Atlantic City. AUGGY How can you loose a bowling alley? SALLY Very easily I suppose. I wasn’t there at the time, but his two brothers were ready to kill him. So, they burned down their restaurant for the insurance. MITCH I like the dog tracks in Florida. OMAR That’s fast action man. MITCH I always come away with something. SALLY This Lotto is the same thing. AUGGY What would you do if you won the Mega pot? SALLY I’d buy myself a new house in Sarasota, Florida. OMAR

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I can’t afford to win. MITCH Oh yeah, the Rita’s. SALLY I would walk on the beach everyday at sunset. MITCH What about your family? SALLY I’d take my kid and leave the rest behind. MITCH That’s cold. SALLY I just feel better when their not around. MITCH I know, nobody cares. SALLY I know your right. I should care more about them. But the make it hard to love them. MITCH I know what you mean. My cousin Greco went out bar crawling last Friday. On the way home he stopped to take a rest on a bus bench. It was below freezing and he passed out. Saturday morning the cops tried to waken him, but he was frozen to the bone.

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SALLY I remember that. Was he Puerto Rican guy the newspapers called “The Stiff”? MITCH Yeah. At the wake he looked like his father. OMAR Jesus, just like a frozen Margarita. MITCH You think Puerto Ricans are low lives? OMAR You said it not me. I prefer bottom feeders. MITCH That’s discrimination. OMAR I love Puerto Rican women. What do you think all the Rita’s are? MITCH There’s nothing like watching a Port Rican woman eat a mango. SALLY You don’t have to explain.

OMAR

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The men are another thing altogether. They’re all fucking drug dealers or addicts. SALLY It’s easy to find fault with them. MITCH When I was a kid I wanted to become a doctor. My mom had high hopes. AUGGY You have to go to school to be a doctor. MITCH I like school, but I didn’t want to take tests. AUGGY Bull shit, you were always in trouble. MITCH Yeah, but you were the one that flooded the school and I got blamed. AUGGY That wasn’t my fault. I was just trying to get a drink of water at the fountain. The water was off, so I turned it on under the fountain and got a drink. The class bell rang so I went to my seat. I didn’t know it had a leek.

MITCH

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An hour later the water was 2 inches deep down the hallway into the Dean’s office. Mr. Shavonie thought it was me, so I was expelled from his class. AUGGY You’re forgetting the time when you almost electrocuted me? (Talking to the group.) We had to remove my power line to get at a broken tree limb down. (Talking to the group.) MITCH I was standing on the ladder cutting The tree. He was holding the rest of it. AUGGY I thought you had it. MITCH He walks off, and the limb falls against the fuse box on the wall. One of my nads was fried. It swelled up to a baseball. AUGGY Sorry man. I needed to use the head. MITCH That’s why I don’t hang around with him anymore.

SALLY asks TWO-STEP.

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SALLY What are you doing for Christmas? TWO-STEP We celebrate Hanukah. I haven’t been invited home in years. They think I’m a hooker. SALLY to the others. SALLY What about the rest of you guys? AUGGY I don’t make long-range plans. MITCH If I live that long, we’ll go to my sisters house in the Batavia. SALLY That’s nice. MITCH It’s the tomb of the unknown repairman. SALLY What do you mean? MITCH Everything is perfect. SALLY What’s wrong with that?

MITCH

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Everywhere I sit, I’m afraid I’m going to drop your food and make a mess. SALLY If I had a nice house, I’d do the same. MITCH The other thing is that her husband is a “Honey Do Boy”. SALLY Guys are supposed to help. MITCH He calls her Honey. Honey can I do that? You know. OMAR Rita #3 didn’t ask me to do a thing around the house. But, she would call me in the middle of a business meeting and ask me where the frozen pizza rolls where. Before I married the Rita’s, I was always forgetting my girl friends name. SALLY So, how do you keep track of the kids? OMAR Omar is my son with Rita #1. Babe and Little Rita are the twins from Rita #2. Omar Jr., Beth and Billy are with Rita #3. Sam and June are with Rita #4. Omar, Babe, Rita, Omar Jr. and June are my children. The rest are split between Jeff, Larry, Ramon,

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Billy Sr. and Vern. SALLY There are too many men for the number of kids. OMAR Ramon can’t have kids. Rita #1 has been married twice after me. MITCH What happened to Ramon? OMAR He was in a motorcycle crash and smashed his manhood against the gas tank. MITCH Ouch! Common mistake. OMAR Ramon’s a Moma Mucher. He hangs out at home and watched South Park all day. He gets 20% disability from the head injury he got in the Navy. He’s a real sweetheart. The phone rings. SALLY answers. SALLY Yes, he’s standing right here, hang on, MITCH it’s for you. MITCH answers the phone. MITCH Hello.

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SALLY picks up the newspaper and starts reading. SALLY The new Mayor, he’s a Capricorn. TWO-STEP My last boy friend was a Capricorn. SALLY Where is he now? TWO-STEP He was too much of a cheapskate. He didn’t like to buy me things because he said that I was too hard on stuff or I would loose it. I guess he was right in some ways, but not always. In the end, he lifted all my mothers silverware. SALLY Those Capricorns are a lot of trouble. They always think they’re smarter than the next guy. Meanwhile, they’re doing stupid things. I’ve never met a good one. OMAR What’s the problem, MITCH? MITCH They’re coming here to get me. I need to hide.

OMAR

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Sit down behind the counter and don’t get up till I tell you to. MITCH walks around and sits under the counter. MITCH You don’t think they’ll look for me here? OMAR What kind of idiot would stay here? SALLY What’s you’re birthday? MITCH May 1st, 1975. SALLY You’re on the cusp of Capricorn, aren’t you MITCH? TWO-STEP I’m an Aquarius. SALLY You are kind of spaced out most of the time. TWO-STEP I guess that’s true. OMAR What am I? SALLY

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Scorpio. OMAR Rita #2 said I was too negative. SALLY She is right. Every Scorpio I know likes to pick a fight. You can’t help yourself. OMAR I just need lively conversation. What’s the best match for me? SALLY If you want to fight, then find another Scorpio or a Capricorn. AUGGY I’m an Aries. What about me? SALLY You’re hardheaded and very aggressive. OMAR That’s a bunch of crap. Ask anybody. SALLY See, you’re picking a fight. OMAR What about you?

SALLY

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I’m a Leo. You can tell a Leo by the big hair, clothes, cars and diamonds. MITCH pops his head up from behind the cash register. MITCH My Mom was Haitian and into all this black magic Santeria. We had chicken feet hanging all over the house. People would come to her with request for spiritual protection. One time a woman that had recently moved from Haiti need protection from a man that was stalking her. Mom got out all her candles and made a small man out of chicken feathers and cloth. The woman came to our apartment, my Mom chanted and sang. They put a spell on him. I asked what kind of spell it was. She told me the man would loose all his hair and power. He would become impotent. I think she was a Leo. OMAR I told you to keep down. That stuff is creepy. But I know it works. Rita #1 was into witchcraft. I came home from work and she was covered in black makeup, the windows were covered, and there was a strange smell. SALLY That’s the work of the Devil.

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MITCH creeps up again from behind the counter. MITCH That’s one thing I believe in. I’ve seen the evil spirits. I was in San Juan visiting my best friend Roberto. We were smoking weed in the back of his bakery. From behind him appeared a spirit woman with a baby. She was thin and wasted. She asked for bread. I said yes. The next day the same woman came to the store caring a baby and begged for a loaf of bread. Roberto gave her what she needed. He believed that he would have been tormented forever if he had refused her. SALLY She must have been an Angel. She was there to teach him about compassion. OMAR turns to MITCH. OMAR Down! She was a Spirit Witch. There’s a She Devil Pakistani that works the corner during the day. She shows up about 8:30 every morning for rush hour. When I’m leaving the store I see her pushing a stroller. It’s where she keeps her stash. All the stuff she shoplifts goes under a life size baby doll in the stroller.

AUGGY

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Very clever those Pakistani Devils. SALLY What if there are devils waiting for you when you die? AUGGY I hope they’re sex crazed little nymphets. MITCH All those Playboy Bunnies and Hustler center folds. That’s where they go, straight to hell. SALLY You may have noticed that those rags are not out in this store. I’ve put them under the counter so the kids can’t steal them. AUGGY walks to the store window and peers out to the street. AUGGY I think your friends are here MITCH. OMAR walks over to the light switch and turns off the lights. OMAR Everybody hit the floor and don’t move an inch.

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Gunshots are fired into the store. The window breaks and SALLY cries out. SALLY Yahweh help us. The lights are out. Broken glass and bags of snacks are on the floor. OMAR Is anybody hit? SALLY I’m here, I think. AUGGY I can’t move. OMAR The window’s got a few holes in it. MITCH? MITCH I’m here. OMAR TWO-STEP? Are you OK? AUGGY take a peek and see if they’re gone. Sally is she next to you? SALLY No.

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AUGGY crawls to the front window and looks out from between the signs taped to it. AUGGY I think they’re gone. I can’t see anybody. OMAR I’m going to turn on the lights. But don’t get up until I say so. OMAR crawls to the light switch and turns the lights on. OMAR Can you see anybody now? AUGGY It’s all clear. SALLY Where’s TWO-STEP? She must have stepped out the back door during the shooting. MITCH I think she’s been hit. Look there’s a blood trail out the back. SALLY We need to call the Police. OMAR I don’t know if I want to file a Police report. I’m going to call Poppy.

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OMAR walks to the telephone and calls Poppy. OMAR Sorry, to call you so late but we’ve had another shooting in the store. What do you want me to do? Poppy gives him instructions. OMAR Nobody in the store is hurt. Just a few bullet holes in the window. OMAR listens to Poppy. OMAR Ok. I’ll call you in the morning. OMAR hangs up the phone. SALLY What did he say? OMAR Well, he doesn’t want me to call this in to the police. SALLY But, TWO-STEP has been shot. OMAR We don’t know that for sure. MITCH I see blood drops all the way back here.

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SALLY What if she dies? What then? AUGGY walks to the door. AUGGY I don’t want to talk to the cops. I have some outstanding business with them. If they check me out, which they surely will, I’ll be in deep shit. I’m out of here. AUGGY opens the door and looks around before walking out to the street. OMAR What a piss ant punk. OMAR walks to the back room and retrieves a broom and starts sweeping up the mess. SALLY What’s wrong with you people? OMAR Look, Poppy doesn’t want to loose his state alcohol license. If you have more than four shootings in a two-year period, your license goes up for review. And, they suspend it during the review period, which could take six months. It also means you can loose your insurance. At least, you get put in a high-risk pool and pay through the b-hole. SALLY What about TWO-STEP?

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OMAR That’s the hazards. Don’t stand in front of a stray bullet. I told everyone to hit the floor, she should have. SALLY She couldn’t bend her legs, to get down. OMAR You can’t save every low life that walks in the door. SALLY goes to the coat rack on the back wall and walks to the front door. SALLY If you’re not going to do anything, then I am. OMAR Where do you think you’re going? SALLY Out there to find her. She could be out there bleeding to death. SALLY leaves the store disgusted with OMAR. MITCH What if she finds her dead? OMAR Let’s not get ourselves all worked up over that retard.

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MITCH I don’t think my services are needed. I’ll be moving along. OMAR Oh no. You started this shit storm, so you’ll stay until it’s finished. MITCH How can you blame me? OMAR It was your playmates that came to by to visit you here. You’re staying until I say you can leave or I’ll let Black Beauty persuade you. MITCH I’m still here. What if she’s dead? OMAR You’re going to explain everything to the police. MITCH No man. That’s not cool. OMAR Why did you have to say anything about the blood spots? MITCH Well… OMAR Don’t answer that.

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MITCH She’ll go to the emergency room and they’ll patch her up. OMAR Or, she’ll bleed to death or freeze. All we can do is wait here if she comes back. MITCH I’m sorry. You could have pushed me out the door. You saved me; they would have found me and popped a cap in my head for sure. OMAR What makes you think that they aren’t coming back? MITCH Turn out the lights. OMAR If they come back I’m going to make a deal. Your head for a new glass window. MITCH You wouldn’t do that. OMAR Go over to the window and watch out for them. MITCH I feel like a moving target at the state fair.

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OMAR Stop whining. This is like being back in the Nam. OMAR continues sweeping the store. MITCH Here comes SALLY. OMAR Is she alone? MITCH Yes. SALLY opens the door and enters the store. MITCH What happened? Did you find her? SALLY Yeah. She’s in the Operating Room at Buffalo General. They’ll file a police report. MITCH Man what a mess. OMAR Feeling a little guilt? MITCH Of course I do. SALLY The nurse I talked to said she wasn’t expected to survive the surgery.

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OMAR What happened? SALLY A bullet went through her chest. We need to call the police. OMAR OK. I’ll call them. OMAR puts down his broom and walks to the wall phone. OMAR MITCH this is your fault. I’m going to have to banish you from the store. MITCH Can I go now? OMAR Stick around, you’re going to have to explain everything to the police when they get here. SALLY Poor woman just couldn’t get out of the way. OMAR is talking to the police. OMAR I need to report a shooting at Poppy’s Corner Convenience Store.

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MITCH I’m screwed. SALLY Police Protection Program maybe? OMAR hangs up the phone and turns to the counter. OMAR They’re on the way. A homicide detective will be here soon. They asked that we shut the store and don’t touch anything. SALLY We should have called the police when it happened. OMAR Does anyone know where AUGGY can be found? MITCH Yeah. I know. OMAR He’s not going to be happy about the attempted armed robbery charge we’re going to file. SALLY I’m more concerned about TWO-STEP. OMAR What’s her real name? MITCH I don’t know.

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SALLY I asked the nurse in the emergency room. It’s Mora Edelstein. MITCH She’s sure had a streak of bad luck. SALLY If she makes it through the surgery we’ll have to help her. OMAR The state helps her now. I need to call Poppy. OMAR returns to the wall phone. MITCH I didn’t want this to happen. God help me. SALLY I’ve been praying pretty much since the bullets started to fly. MITCH It didn’t help TWO-STEP, sorry I meant Mora. SALLY There’s always a plan to life. When it’s over that’s it.

OMAR hangs up the phone and turns to the others.

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OMAR Poppy isn’t too pissed. It’s happened so many times in the past. He said, it was just a matter of time, when it would happen agian. He’s cool about it. But, he’s very sad about TWO-STEP. I meant Mora. I told him she is a Jewish woman. MITCH Isn’t there a Jewish heaven? OMAR There’s got to be, if we’ve got one. The Jehovah Witness people say there’s only room for 144,000 people. MITCH They should know, they are the only one’s going door to door counting the saved souls. SALLY That’s not what they’re doing. They’re just trying to convert people to their religion. OMAR I agree with MITCH on this one SALLY. They’re out there counting saved souls. SALLY I’m not listening. MITCH What are we going to say to the Police about when things happened tonight?

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OMAR We can’t fudge that, because they’ll know what time TWO-STEP, I mean Mora checked into the hospital. Plus, there’s a time code on the VHS tape. When can I call her TWO-STEP again? SALLY Never. It’s demeaning. OMAR I know, but she never complained. SALLY She has low self-esteem. MITCH What does that mean? SALLY You wouldn’t know, because you don’t have any ether. OMAR Let’s not fight. We need to all have the same story for the police. So let’s get it together. What’s your story to the police? SALLY OK, we were standing in the store trying to get AUGGY to give up the gun when bullets started flying. OMAR

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No. That sounds like AUGGY shot TWO-STEP. Besides there’s the surveillance videotapes. SALLY No more TWO-STEP. OMAR But, she was TWO-STEP when it happened. MITCH It’s my turn. Try this. We were drinking a beer when a gang of drug dealers came by and shot up the place. OMAR You can’t say anything about the beer because Poppy will get in trouble with the State Alcohol Control. Jesus, can’t you people think. SALLY Did you ever consider that this place could be a danger to the community? OMAR We just give people what they want, the rest is up to them. MITCH OK, so I won’t tell about the beer. How’s the rest of it? OMAR It doesn’t matter, your going to screw it up anyway.

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The stage goes to black out for a wardrobe and set changes. It is Christmas Eve. SALLY is at the cash register. OMAR walks in carrying a broom and dust pan. OMAR Well here we are on Christmas Eve and we’re all alone. Why don’t you call it quits and go home to your kid? SALLY I need the money, with Christmas gifts and all. OMAR I’ll cover for you. Go ahead. SALLY Ok. But, I owe you. MITCH walks in the front door. MITCH Merry Christmas to all. OMAR What are you doing out? MITCH They ran me out of the house. All the relatives are in from out of town. What a pain in the ass. I was just smoking and eating cookies. They said I was too noisy and the place was filling up with smoke, they took a vote and asked me to leave. OMAR

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It’s only for a few days. MITCH I was getting wacky anyways. MITCH walks around the store looking for a snack. SALLY When is your probation up? MITCH I’m doing well, no drugs. The NA group is a trip. You wouldn’t believe the stories. And, guess who is going there? SALLY Everyone in the neighborhood? MITCH I can’t use his name. OMAR Anonymous right? MITCH I’ll give you a hint. He was in the store the night of the shooting. OMAR AUGGY is in NA? I heard he was taking anti-theft and domestic violence classes. SALLY What’s your story for the NA group?

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MITCH This is the way I tell it in the group. It was a cold winter night and a Puerto Rican drug gang was after me. I took shelter in Poppy’s Corner Store. They came to the store for me and shot bullets thru the store, hitting TWO-STEP in the chest. It traveled straight thru her lung. Blood squirted. I had a moment of clarity. And, I knew I had to stop. I had to do something different. The police arrested me. When I stood in front of the judge, I said that I was sorry that I had caused so much pain to my family and to TWO-STEP. He asked me who TWO-STEP was, so I explained that she had a stroke from rock. Now she can only take two steps at a time. He said it’s a miracle that she’s still alive. SALLY I won. OMAR The Lotto? SALLY No. The bet. Remember that night of the shooting, I bet you that Yahweh would show you a miracle. OMAR The devil was on the loose that night. SALLY You have to give me three nights off. You promised.

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OMAR You’re dreaming. MITCH Some higher power was in this store. I could feel it. Somehow I have to make amends. That’s one of the recovery steps. The front door opens. TWO-STEP slowly enters the store. SALLY How are you? TWO-STEP I’m fine. It only hurts when I breathe. OMAR We’re worried about you. TWO-STEP The tube in my lung will come out next week. Here look at how big it is. TWO-STEP lifts up her blouse revealing her drainage tube. MITCH Wow, that must hurt. OMAR Horrible. What’s that green stuff?

SALLY

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It’s drainage, her lung is draining. I know about these things I worked as a nurses aide. TWO-STEP covers herself. TWO-STEP Got a pack of Kent Ultra lights? SALLY You shouldn’t be smoking. You’ve only got one lung. TWO-STEP I shouldn’t be alive either. OMAR You didn’t duck when I told you to. TWO-STEP I can’t bend this leg. So, I couldn’t. SALLY It’s over and done with now. So let it go. TWO-STEP Poppy said I could get free cigarettes for a year because of what happened. SALLY Oh great. OMAR 2 packs a day for 365 days. That’s over $3,650 bucks. MITCH

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Free cigarettes. That’s value plus, man. SALLY Well as long as we can keep our priorities straight. OMAR Take the next three days off. Yahweh or one of his friends was here the night of the shooting. Get out of here before I change my mind. TWO-STEP Sally would you please look at my dressing before you go? SALLY comes to TWO-STEP lifts her blouse and looks at the dressing. SALLY Looks OK to me. SALLY walks to the coat rack. She puts on her hat scarf and coat. SALLY You guys are too much for me. I’m taking a pack of these Grandma’s Soft Cookies. Bill me. I’m leaving. Merry Christmas. TWO-STEP Merry Christmas. MITCH Cheers. OMAR

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Don’t leave without a hug. You never know when one of us could be taken to the Holy Land. Or die in our sleep. MITCH What if you were having a dream that you were dying but couldn’t wake up? TWO-STEP That’s when you need to take Jesus into your heart real quick, just in case it’s the end. OMAR walks toward the audience onto a spotlight. The main store lights go out. The Holiday lights stay lit. OMAR I think SALLY was right about some things, at least the part about it being a miracle that TWO-STEP survived a stray bullet. Mitch, well he has a tendency for creating misfortune for everyone around him. Maybe a job in health insurance industry would do the trick. AUGGY packs more mischief, pound for pound. It’s not only because he’s bipolar, although I’m sure that adds to it. TWO-STEP has become what everyone in the 60’s was afraid would happen to them if they didn’t stop smoking pot and taking LSD. SALLY is right about me, I’m a Scorpio and it’s hell when I can’t find someone to fight with. Fortunately, this time of the year there are lots of opportunities with my family. It isn’t that I don’t like my family or people in general, it’s that I don’t always agree with them.

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But, every once in a while someone like SALLY will surprise me. I don’t agree with most of her religious dogma, but she has a gift, an unexpected kindness that causes a lot of strange feelings in me. And I think it’s only natural to have more than one miracle at Christmas. FADE TO BLACK

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