Nirmam September Edition

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From: Radhika Shendye

Topics you can contribute on… …e-Magazine – For & By KCBs 

World / National / Local News, Happenings

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Website Watch (information about any websites you found interesting)

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Recipes, Restaurant Reviews

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Short Stories, Write-ups, Book / Drama / Film Reviews, etc.

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Jokes, Cartoons

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Photographs of tourist spots you have had visited, etc.

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Sports

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Any personal experiences you would like to share (However the scope is unlimited and unrestricted. *Conditions Apply)

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Any Professional topics

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Article on Career vistas, Employment opportunities, Investment arenas

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AND anything you feel that can be included for a pleasure reading

For this e-Magazine, any KCB located globally can contribute anything & everything he feels as a part of sharing information, knowledge, etc. For all the above topics, I invite your contributions! Your name will be mentioned for the same as 'Contributors'. This e-magazine will be handled majorly by me as a ‘Chief Editor’. However, as & when the contributions go on increasing, there will be scope for you to be appointed as Sub-Editor, Associate Editor, Consultant, etc. All this will be for FREE. Please send in your contributions to the Editor: [email protected] The e-Magazine will be emailed to the subscribers each month. Please do forward this to your KCB Contacts and help in spreading a word about the existence of this e-Magazine…

Gappa @ KCB Orkut Community in August 2008

Few selected topics only

recently visited Ireland and would like to share these snaps… Enjoy! Tanmayee Ranade

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market. One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe) He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river. As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, " Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, " No.“ She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all !!“ Finally, she came up with his Pentium machine and asked if it was his. The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said " Yes.“ The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?” The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!! Moral :If you're not up-to-date with technology trends , it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Hello Friends,

QUIZZING!!!

Through this brief article i will try and speak about the famous word “QUIZ”! The word "Quiz " is rumoured to have come into existence in 1971 when an Irish man by the name James Daly made a bet that he could introduce a word into the language within 24 hours . He then coined the word “Quiz" which was then a nonsense word and since no one knew what it meant, everyone thought that it was some sort of a test... ! Quiz is a game which has come in vogue in the last 10-15 years… especially among the younger generation but., the older generation is certainly not behind time when it comes to Quiz. Quizzes have become popular because participating in a quiz itself is most exciting , no matter what is the result of the quiz. many participants feel an intense feeling of satisfaction when they hit the nail on the head enduring a tricky trivia or question.. and also on the other hand manifest a feeling of smugness when the answer is the tip of your tongue but its not your chance ! Quizzing is not just about knowledge and stores of information in your mind.. but about timely and sharp reflexes, quick recalling power and having the right idea about a question asked. The most common misconception about quizzing is that it is the domain of the intelligent people but it's hardly true. One does not require anything extraordinary in his / her genes to be a good quizzer.. it's just open ears and open eyes that the "quiz" demands. So the motto about Quizzing is “Whether you Lose or Win a quiz, it does not matter, but never miss one!!" Go Quizzing !!!

From: Swanand Pethe

WHO SAYS ENGLISH IS AN EASY LANGUAGE? FILL IN THE BLANKS WITH YES / NO 1) __________, I DON'T HAVE SENSE. 2) __________, I AM STUPID. 3) __________, I DONT HAVE BRAIN.

Unconditional A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his Love… parents from San Francisco.   "Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me.“   "Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him.“   "There's something you should know the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us.“   "I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live.“   "No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us." "Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own.“   At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg. The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are. Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way. Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are. Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night, say a little prayer that God will give you the strength you need to accept people as they are, and to help us all be more understanding of those who are different from us!!!

It's a dog's life after isall... really surprised when he sees a dog

A butcher watching over his shop coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth. He takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, Please". The dog has money in its mouth, as well. The butcher looks inside and, there is a ten dollar note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog. So off he goes. The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to a level crossing; the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and it walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way. The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its left leg up and gets in it. The butcher follows the dog into the bus. Then the dog shows a ticket which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, so are the other passengers in the bus. The dog then sits near the driver's seat looking outside waiting for the bus stop to come. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. Then, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop. It opens the big Iron Gate and rushes inside towards the door. As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and heads towards the garden. It goes to the window, and beats its head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him. The butcher surprised with this, runs up, and stops the guy. "What in heaven's name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me!" to which the Guy responds: You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his key." Moral of the story: You may continue to exceed onlooker's expectations but shall always fall short of the boss' expectations. It's a dog's life after all...

Transparent Butterfly It comes from Central America and is found from Mexico to Panama. It is quite common in its zone, but it not easy to find because of its transparent wings, which is a natural camouflage mechanism. A butterfly with transparent wings is rare and beautiful. As delicate as finely blown glass, the presence of this rare tropical gem is used by rain forest ecologists as an indication of high habitat quality and its demise alerts them of ecological change. Rivalling the refined beauty of a stained glass window, the translucent wings of the Glasswing butterfly shimmer in the sunlight like polished panes of turquoise, orange, green, and red. All things beautiful do not have to be full of colour to be noticed: in life that which is unnoticed has the most power.

Plzzzz… ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS! • • •

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Is there another word for synonym? Why do we press harder on remote control buttons when we know the battery is dead? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called a cargo? Why do we tend to raise our shoulders when we're out in the rain? Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? What is the speed of dark? Where can you buy those little plastic ends to put on your shoe laces? If you are cross-eyed and dyslexic at the same time, would you see okay? How many times do you use a disposable razor? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? When you have your picture taken with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland, does the guy inside the costume smile for the camera?

A small story… A giant ship’s engine failed. The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure out how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a young. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars. "What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!" So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill.” The man sent a bill that read: For tapping with a hammer …………………. $ For knowing where to tap …………………. $ 9,998.00

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For over 5 years now, I have been running & formulating emagazines, newsletters as 'Editor'. I am a ‘Freelance Writer' in The Economic Times, Education Times, Times of India & some private professional magazines / journals on topics viz. Economics, Business Laws, Commerce, Budget & Careers. More than 150 published write-ups in the span of 7 years all over India. I exist on more than 70 Websites globally. Academically, I am M.A (Economics), PG (Finance & Banking) from Symbiosis B-School, AMFI, DIT from C-DAC, GCIPR. I am currently serving for an Asset Management company in Pune as a ‘Mutual Fund Analyst’. Apart from my full time service, I m involved in Career Counselling. I am tabala player having participated in Group Singing Competitions as 'Supporting Musician' and performed stage shows in Mumbai and Pune on the occassion of Shri

So, how was this First Issue of the e-Magazine? Satisfied? Unsatisfied? Happy? Disappointed? Since this was the very first issue, launched in just a matter of few days and short notice, there were very few contributions received from you. I have tried my best to make it an enjoyable reading experience for you. So I hope you will give due consideration to this aspect. I appreciate & thank the contributors for their prompt response to my appeal to send in some material! I hope the presentation style gave you a pleasant reading experience! Let’s make this magazine an integral part of our internet life (virtual life)… Please do forward this e-Magazine in your KCB contacts (preferably), so that this helps in spreading a word about the existence of this initiative, of which we all are a part of! I hope to gather more email IDs as part of the subscription to this magazine in the days to come and let’s have an extended reach of this magazine in October. Since this is the launch issue, I would request you to preserve this forever as a future reference! Feel free to tell me about this initiative, your suggestions, feedback and how & in what way you can contribute to make the magazine a success every subsequent issue. Thank you for your appreciation & wishes! Ganapati Bappa Moraya!!!

- Editor

Disclaimers The launch of this monthly e-Magazine (being called as “Nirmam”, Kokanastha Chitpavan Brahmin monthly e-Magazine) is a private initiative and is not in anyway currently associated or related to the official ‘Chitpavan Sangh’. This e-Magazine does not invite monetary subscriptions whatsoever and is delivered free of cost to people who have given their assent specifically or through reference to receive this publication. These will be termed as ‘Subscribers to the e-magazine’. This e-magazine is just a self initiative taken by the Editor complimented with the collective effort & support of its readers & contributors. This e-magazine is a platform provided for information & knowledge sharing. Any decisions (monetary or otherwise) taken relying upon the advices or guidance given by the Panelists through this forum will be sole responsibility of the decision maker and not of the Panelists or Editors. Circulation of this e-magazine should be primarily and preferably restricted to Kokanastha Chitpavan Brahmins or any other Marathi speaking Brahmins class only. No responsibility or claims or litigations shall be entertained by the Editors at any cost. Violation of any Copyright under law shall be the sole responsibility of the contributor and not of the Editors. The views expressed here are solely those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of any group or organization that he or she may or is affiliated unless clearly stated or the Editors. The Editor reserves the right to accept, reject, edit the full or part of the contributions received as may deem fit.