Me & My Pal - Blog.docx

I grew up in small nondescript colonies of a Industrial Township. Used to play seasonal games, when cricket was on air, we used to play, if hockey was being played we also used to play with bamboos cut to size, which was abundantly available in the Paper Industry. Similarly we used to play football, volleyball, khokoo…sukha-gilla, gulle-danda… I used to tag along with fella, who had immense influence of me. He was my neighbour, dark, sturdy but was ever sportive and big brother’s attitude to help and take care of me. With him I had the comfort to venture around, discover places, cycle around. We had feelings of being …

..with a million dollar friendly smile. My 1st playtime with him was with empty cigarette packs....which were graded and rated according to brands. I mastered the game under his guidance. I saw a hero in him when he even didn't yawn to a scorpion bite. He taught me the art and science of climbing trees. He taught me the finesse of catching fish,climbing rocks,exploring nearby forest. He was my inspiration to take up fitness seriously. The last period of my school was the longest due to the excitement to play with him . No inhibitions. No plastic smiles. No financial barriers. Time took us apart. He stayed there and i moved in search of my destiny. Once in a while he peeped in my thoughts but life never gave a chance for 20 years. Again..went there.to meet him.with anxiety. He became lean.all muscles torn out.kept his flawless smile intact. But addressed me SIR. I realized..yes time has taken my friend away from me. Tried to comfort him but in vein. I think just after 2 or 3 years. .got the news of his demise. My friend who helped me in the process of my transition from a boy to a man is no more. ISHU ( eshwar ) is my 1st friend in life..and wish i was there in my past and spend those unconditional and undemanding moments with him again.

Time teaches us..

Gossiping, bitching and general nastiness between girls tends to start at school. We've all been bitched about and we've all bitched about someone. It's never a nice feeling to find out what someone else has said about you behind your back, despite this we tend to get sucked back into it. I know I'm guilty of it, I had the wrong friends in my life and when I was around them I turned into another person, someone I didn't like. Afterwards I felt really guilty about it, but guilt wasn't good enough, it had to stop. Saying something bad about someone else doesn't make you feel better, it just instills doubt in your mind and makes you question yourself.

Why do we waste time on bad friendships if all they do is bring us down and make us feel bad? If we're entitled to choose who our friends are, why aren't all our friendships good ones?

With this in mind, I weeded my garden. I got out my secateurs, pulled on my gloves and pruned away the crappy friends. I dug out the deep-rooted weeds that had been choking me, taking all my energy and turning me into someone I didn't like. I also took time to nurture the few friendships I truly valued, which turned out to be the small and perfect number of six very beautiful women. Just six. As for the rest, well, cutting them off mentally was the easy part, the hard part was telling myself not to feel guilty about it. I stopped returning calls, texts and emails and mentally snipped our friendship cord. It only took a few months to start feeling a difference and it was a feeling of white, crisp, cleanliness.

Focusing on my six great friends created trust and security in my life. I knew they wouldn't be upset if I was busy and couldn't see them, I knew none of them would ever say a bad word behind my back and I would never say a bad word behind theirs. When we got together we would talk about positive, meaningful things like how our life-dreams and aspirations were coming along and we would laugh about fun, fond memories. We would never judge, criticize or berate each other, but would always be honest, after all if your new pants don't sit well on your hips, you need a trusted friend to tell you. Focusing on these six women made me happier than I'd ever been. It still does.

I had to make another big change too, this one had to do with me. I began trying my absolute best to give nothing but love and support to other women. If I had nothing nice to say, I didn't say anything at all. If I felt jealous, I looked at myself and asked, 'Why? What's going on with me that I want what someone else has?" My beef isn't with another woman, it's with myself. Maybe I'm upset because she has time to go to the gym every day and I don't, so, I need to make time to get to the gym.

I don't know about you, but as a blogger I've had a lot of negativity come my way. Not just from the occasional internet troll, but from girlfriends who look down on blogging or scoff at it and make

underhanded remarks about it not being a 'real' career or a viable source of income. Quite simply put, "Ain't nobody got time for that." If you can't support me and my chosen path, I can't support our friendship and that's not fair on either of us, so, step off, Fonzy. Hit the pavement! Get outta here! Shoo!

The impact positive relationships with other women can have on our lives is profound because women understand women. To have another woman listen to you in a time of difficulty, without judgement or fear of gossip, to have her understand and respect the gambit of emotions running through you, is invaluable. To have another woman support you and believe in you, tell you that you can achieve your dreams in life and you are beautiful and intelligent, is invaluable.

As women we have a deeply entrenched desire to put others first, heck, even when we cook dinner we give others the better-looking portions of food or the bigger share. When it comes to our friendships, it's time to put ourselves first. Enough is enough. Life's too short to waste any time or energy on negativity, be it in the form of friends, gossip or anything else you can think of. Instead, cut out all the weeds and other junk taking up space and reclaim it for something positive. Reclaim it for you.

I have been thinking a lot about friendship lately. About those friendships that us women have with women. The true, real and dirty friendships.

The ones where those that reside in that tight inner circle see us and all of our parts.

Our truly true selves. Vulnerable. Naked (both figuratively and physically).

They see us at our worst. When we have broken down and are lying on the floor without a hope in the world. They know when to allow us to break down. To cry. To let it all out.

And they know when to set us straight. To deliver us some hard truths that only these true friendships are capable of. Delivering truths knowing that the words will not sting but that they will be felt with the best intentions of kindness, love and reality.

And they see us at our best. When our worlds are full of joy.

They know us. They know what brings us the absolute, most happiness.

At times they may know us even better than ourselves. These women. The ones that reside in our inner circle.

And while sometimes this inner circle alters. Sometime it’s shape grows or shrinks. Sometimes it’s members swap out. That is just life in it’s constant flow.

There is a comfort in knowing that this inner circle is there for you – in all of your days. In your best ones. In your worst ones. This circle has your back. To support. To cheer you on. To offer a warm bed and a hot cup of tea at any time of the night. To answer your call or your text. To send out loving vibes when there is just a sense that they are needed. Words are often not needed. Just a look. Just a feeling.

I feel grateful for this inner circle. These strong women that reside in mine. They lift me up. They help make me who I am today. And tomorrow and everyday. They are a part of me and I am a part of them. This kind of friendship, this kind of love is what makes the world such a beautiful place.