Lavender Magazine Issue 378

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November 20–December 3, 2009

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LavenderMagazine.com

Contents |

[ Minnesota's Gay-Lesbian-Bisexual-Transgender Magazine ]

LavenderMagazine.com New Lavender Digital Edition.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

36 On the Townsend Some Girl(s) • In the Heights • Corleone: The Shakespearean Godfather • A Christmas Carol

FLIP FOR

Use Your Black “Bar” Tab To Find

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40 Bar Advertiser Guide Find Your Way to Hot Spots 40 Bartender Spotlight Rumours/Innuendo: Amy 44 Lavender Lens Halloween: 19 Bar • Bolt Underground • Gay 90’s • Saloon 46 Leather Life “Leather Life”: A Valedictory, of Sorts 48 Bar Calendar Plan Your Bar Outings 50 News & Politics Obama Signs Federal Hate-Crimes Bill

CUISINE Photo Courtesy of House of Toi

On the Runway.

ZANG TOI TAKES FASHION INTERNATIONAL

Zang Toi (Left) and Kevin Quinn Photo by Stephen Stephens of Digital Crush Photography

COMMUNITY DIALOGUE 10 MMPA Awards Lavender Wins Eight Again 11 Queer As Folks Prins Takes Helm at District 202 • Open Arms Sports New Logo

ON THE RUNWAY

November 20–December 3, 2009

Cover Feature 14 Fashion

YOUR CHANCE TO WIN PRIZES EVERY ISSUE!

TICKETS TO BODIES THE EXHIBITION NORAH JONES THE FALL CDS

54 Off the Eaten Path Tiger Sushi II 56 Nutrition Dietary Supplements 58 Dining Guide Food for Every Mood

BACKTALK 61 The Network Business Services Directory 63 LavenderMagazine.com Calendar Plan Your Fortnight 66 Community Connection GLBT-Friendly Nonprofits 68 Classifieds Find Some Classy Stuff 70 Ms. Behavior Sick Of Vampires 73 Yellow Pages Advertiser Index What’s Where This Issue 74 Consider the Source Holy Cow! 74 Cartoon Trolín

CORRECTION In “Queer As Folks” on page 13 in the November 6 Lavender, Ballet of the Dolls was referred to incorrectly as Ballets Russes.

Men in Black • The Fall Collection • Around the World for Inspiration • Trip Down Memory Lane 20 Onward Style Revenge of the Nerds 22 Isn’t Fashion Fun Fashion Travel Tips 23 Lavender Lens The Affair 26 Holiday Gift Guide 18 More Suggestions

ROBBIE WILLIAMS REALITY KILLED THE VIDEO STAR CDS

WandaWisdom.com America’s ORIGINAL Podcasting Drag Queen Leave A Message, Get Famous! Always wondered what Wanda’s favorite ice cream flavor is? Maybe you’re having relationship troubles? Have a particular opinion you’d like to share? Now you can get answers to all your questions just by Photo Courtesy of Brian Roby picking up the phone and calling Wanda’s new listener voicemail! Simply dial 612-AIM-HOLE and leave your favorite podcasting drag queen a message for her to play on the podcast!

BigGayNews.com Top Headlines

ISSUE 378 November 20, 2009 World AIDS Day, Holiday Gift Guide, On the Runway

Next Up ISSUE 379 December 4, 2009 Holiday Dining & Entertaining, Holiday Gift Guide, Home & Yard Blvd.

New York Senate Delays Vote on Gay Marriage Bill AMA Votes to Seek Repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ Lawmakers to Examine Text of D.C. Gay Marriage Bill Salt Lake City Seeks Input on GayResident Protections

Get Your News in 12 Languages! Big Gay News now offers TWELVE foreign language newswires! You can get international GLBT news from hundreds of sources in twelve different languages. There is absolutely no other site offering this much relevant content. Visit http://biggaynews.com today! Sponsored by

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TICKETS TO JOHN TRONES CHRISTMAS IN THE CITY CONCERT

Your daily podcast of GLBT world news with host Bradley Traynor

NEWS & POLITICS 29 Big Gay News National and World News 30 Magnificent New Book About Matthew Shepherd Astonishes Interview with Judy Shepard

THE NEW LAVENDER DIGITAL EDITION

BAR SCENE

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Volume 15, Issue 378 • November 20–December 3, 2009

Editorial Editor Emeritus Ethan Boatner 612-436-4670 Editorial Director Russell Remmick 612-436-4671 Editorial Associate George Holdgrafer 612-436-4672 Podmaster Bradley Traynor 612-436-4669 Contributors Kolina Cicero, Meryl Cohn, Carla Continenza, Julie Dafydd, Chad Eldred, Heidi Fellner, Lawrence Ferber, Terrance Griep, Ed Huyck, Steve Lenius, John Michael Lerma, Jennifer Parello, Todd Park, Kevin Quinn, Sara Rogers, Darin Schwinkendorf, Vince Sgambati, Elizabeth Stiras, John Townsend, Carla Waldemar

Advertising Sales & Advertising Director Barry Leavitt 612-436-4690 Senior Account Executive Suzanne Farrell 612-436-4699 Account Executives Jonathan Halverson 612-436-4696, Michael Ladzun 612-436-4697 Sales & Advertising Traffic Coordinator Linda Raines 612-436-4694 Advertising Associate George Holdgrafer 612-436-4672 Classifieds Suzanne Farrell 612-436-4699 National Sales Representative Rivendell Media 212-242-6863

Creative Creative Director Hubert Bonnet 612-436-4678 Creative Assistant Mike Hnida 612-436-4679 Photographer Sophia Hantzes Cartoonist Rodro Lavender Studios Hubert Bonnet, Mike Hnida

Administration Publisher Lavender Media, Inc. President & CEO Stephen Rocheford 612-436-4665 Vice President & CC Pierre Tardif 612-436-4666 Chief Financial Officer Carolyn Lima 612-436-4664 Administrative Assistant Austin Lindstrom 612-436-4661 Founders George Holdgrafer, Stephen Rocheford Inspiration Steven W. Anderson (1954-1994), Timothy J. Lee (1968-2002), Russell Berg (1957-2005), Kathryn Rocheford (1914-2006)

Letters are subject to editing for grammar, punctuation, space, and libel. They should be no more than 300 words. Letters must include name, address, and phone number. Unsigned letters will not be published. Priority will be given to letters that refer to material previously published in Lavender Magazine. Submit letters to Lavender Magazine, Letters to the Editor, 3715 Chicago Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55407; or e-mail <[email protected]>.

November 20–December 3, 2009

Lavender Media Inc. 3715 Chicago Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55407 LavenderYellowPages.com 612-436-4660 phone 877-515-9969 toll free 612-436-4685 fax 612-436-4664 subscriptions 612-436-4671 distribution To advertise, call 612-436-4698

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BigGayNews.com

WandaWisdom.com

Entire contents copyright 2009. All rights reserved. Publication of the name or photograph of any person, organization, or business in this magazine does not reflect upon one’s sexual orientation whatsoever. Lavender® Magazine reserves the right to refuse any advertising. This issue of Lavender® Magazine is available free of charge during the time period published on the cover. Pickup at one of our distribution sites is limited to one copy per person.

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Community Dialogue >

Lavender Wins Eight MMPA Awards

November 20–December 3, 2009

Minnesota Magazine Publishers Association (MMPA) held its 13th Annual Excellence Awards Dinner on November 5. As usual, a Lavender contingent was on hand—along with some 400 other media members— for dining and celebration at the Metropolitan Ballroom & Clubroom Golden Valley. Reprising as emcee was Jason DeRusha, who covers the “Good Question” segment of the WCCO-TV 10 PM News He has been nominated for 10 Regional Emmy Awards, and won the 2004 Regional Emmy Award for Ongoing Feature Series. This year, MMPA awards were given out in 88 categories in areas of editorial, design, general, and overall excellence. We have the

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entire Lavender staff and our contributors to thank for our garnering a record-tying eight awards this year. For the 2008-2009 season spanned by the awards, Lavender won: Gold Best Editor’s Editorial or Letter (Special Interest, Under 60,000) “A Word in Edgewise” December 5, 2008 Gold Best Regular Column (Special Interest, Under 60,000) “Get Outta Town” Silver Best Digital Media (Under 60,000) Silver Best Media Kit (Under 60,000)

Silver Best Use of Visuals/Photography (Special Interest, Under 60,000) “Hostelry Affair” June 5, 2009 Bronze Best Single Cover (Special Interest, Under 60,000) April 9, 2009 Bronze Best Table of Contents (Special Interest, Under 60,000) February 17, 2009 Bronze Best Use of Visuals/Photography (Special Interest, Under 60,000) 5 Coveted Covers June 5, 2009

Queer As Folks |

Curt Prins. Photo Courtesy of District 202

> The District 202 Board of Directors named Curt Prins the new Executive Director of the organization for GLBT youth. He stepped down as Acting Board Chair to move into the position. He has served on the Board since 2005, and as Board Chair since February 2009. Prins is a 15-year veteran of the tech marketing and nonprofit world. He has been an active community volunteer in the Twin Cities, working with TogetherMinnesota, Project 515, OutFront Minnesota, Human Rights Campaign Twin Cities, and Faith Family Fairness Alliance.

LavenderMagazine.com

Prins Takes Helm at District 202

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Queer As Folks |

>

November 20–December 3, 2009

Open Arms Sports New Logo

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For the past 23 years, Open Arms of Minnesota has provided a vital service to those living with HIV/AIDS and other debilitating illnesses. What began in 1986 with one man cooking meals in his kitchen for a few people living with AIDS has expanded into a organization serving many clients, headquartered in a new, multimilliondollar building. It has a new logo as well, designed by IMAGEHAUS owner Jay Miller. No stranger to Open Arms, he helped create a logo that suits the widening array of services it provides. He said, “It better represents what they’re doing now, but it also embraces their heritage and past.”

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On the Runway

Men In Black BY ALLISON DENT

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TYLEDLIFE® founder Kevin Quinn and New York-based couture designer Zang Toi have been close friends for 20 years. They met as experienced fashion industry idealists in New York City and over two decades, both have grown into respected members of the fashion and retail communities.

In 2000, Quinn embraced his entrepreneurial side and founded styledlook®, an at-home wardrobe consulting business. In 2006, he founded STYLEDLIFE®—a high-end accessories and import music store in Minneapolis. Last month, STYLEDLIFE® moved into a 3,000 square foot flagship at the Galleria in Edina. Toi hopped a plane from the Big Apple to the MinneApple to celebrate STYLEDLIFE®’s growth with his long-time friend. Lucky for Twin Cities clotheshorses, he brought along his luxurious fall and Madrid-inspired spring collections as well.

November 20–December 3, 2009

Despite Toi’s longevity and success, his recent appearance on The Real Housewives of New York City as Jill Zarin’s favorite designer was a break that sparked his new brand recognition and increased mass appeal. Toi’s celebrity client list extends from Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas to Ivana Trump, Melinda Gates, Eva Longoria Parker, and Sharon Stone. Still, mainstream America doesn’t know Toi’s name. We sat down with him to find out a little more about the man in the black velvet kilt.

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Name: Zang Toi Age: 48 First fashion memory: When I was 7, I helped my mother pick out fabrics for her custom-made cheongsams [ed: traditional long dresses worn by Chinese women]. First fashion inspiration: Old Hollywood movies. Three words to describe your upbringing: honest, loving, and family. Biggest inspiration: Right now, it’s a place of my imagination that is sexy and mysterious. Best advice: My parents taught me the best work ethic. Fashion rules: I don't believe in fashion rules. It's always great fun to be rule-breaker! Alternate careers: If I weren’t in fashion I might have become a chef or a decorator. Signature color: I used to wear color, but after I decorated my apartment [ed: in black, white and silver], I started wearing all black. Dirt on Jill Zarin: I don't kiss and tell except that she’s an absolutely kind lady. Fashion designer Zang Toi (left), and STYLEDLIFE® founder Kevin Quinn (right). Photo by Mike Hnida

The Fall Collection

Look 16

BY ALLISON DENT

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oi’s adoration for fur and appreciation for Loro Piana cashmere is evident in his fall ’09 collection. Despite his luxurious materials, his collection celebrates layering and dark colors, two very wearable and Minnesota-friendly concepts that make his looks good for more than just sauntering down the runway.

Look 17

Look 22

Look 9

Look 11

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Look 12

Photos courtesy of House of Toi. Models: Deborah Fenker (Look 11, 12, 17), Celine Chua from Project Runway (Look 9, 16, 22).

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On the Runway

Around the World for Inspiration BY ALLISON DENT

Z

ang Toi and Kevin Quinn, who goes by KQ, both find themselves jumping into cabs, boarding planes or even, on occasion, climbing in a safari Jeep® in search of inspiration and adventure. Toi’s spring collection features jackets and cropped pants with the distinct proportion of Spanish matador costume. Toi, himself, prefers a black velvet kilt emblazoned with his initial as a daily nod to Scottish traditional dress.

SKETCHBOOK: “On every trip over the last five years, I have taken this custom-made leather Goyard Paris sketchbook. It is black with a crown, lucky number 13, and my initial ‘T’.” –TZ

Quinn, an avid traveler, has visited more than 45 countries. Along the way, Kevin has developed his “airport aesthetic,” his look of sunglasses, a scarf, and earplugs, to ensure quiet and relaxation.

PASSPORT: “My last passport required more pages,” says Quinn. KQ’s favorite trip from this passport? “The Sultanate of Oman. The country, its people, and its fashion left a lasting impression on me.” –KQ SKETCHES: “I do not take snapshots or collect souvenirs on my trips. My sketches reflect my inspiration.” –TZ

November 20–December 3, 2009

FAN: “I’ve named her Hawaiian Breeze and she helps me sleep no matter where I happen to be.” –KQ

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SUNGLASSES, AND EAR PLUGS: “It’s all part of my airport aesthetic. My time away is very precious and when I fly, I just want to unplug.” –KQ

CUSTOM-MADE LUGGAGE: “Luggage is highly personal and expressive of one’s style quotient. Sure, it has strong functional purposes, but in my opinion, function should always be married with fashion—especially in luggage! In essence, I’ve had luggage made to simplify my packing process, allow for easy transport, and express my personal style.” –KQ

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On the Runway

Trip Down Memory Lane BY ALLISON DENT

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hese two fashion industry veterans have triumphed through ’80s excess, survived ’90s grunge, and have weathered the current recession. Toi produces some of fashion’s most sophisticated pieces, while Quinn brings the Twin Cities a unique point of view on men’s and women’s accessories and their ability to transform fashion. We asked these men to share their insight as industry insiders from opposite ends of the fashion spectrum, ranging from Toi’s design to Quinn’s retail.

November 20–December 3, 2009

How has the fashion industry changed since you first started? Toi: The lightning speed of the industry has greatly affected the retail sector. With the ever-changing trends that the fashion magazines impose, consumers are often left confused. Quinn: Trends’ longevity is limited in today’s hyper-swift market. It is unusual for trends to last even eight months. Ten years ago, the average lifespan was at least 18 months. As a fashion retailer, it is important to identify trends and adapt continuous change in your business model and for your customer base. How has the recession impacted your business and the fashion industry overall? Toi: I personally hope the recession is a necessary cleansing process and that consumers will bounce back. Quinn: The recession and business downturn have helped our guests truly understand our commitment to their personal style rather than conspicuous consumption. It has been our friend, believe it or not. What does luxury mean to you? Toi: Luxury simply means valuing quality over quantity. Quinn: Luxury is not just a product; it is more a feeling or an emotion. Luxury is time for friendships, for family, and for yourself.

How has dressing changed over the past 20 years? Have people gotten lazy? Toi: Yes, to a degree some people have gotten lazy, but there are still many of us who enjoy dressing for the occasion. Quinn: Americans invented the “sportswear” fashion phenomenon, but society has taken this casualness to a degree I find disappointing. Respect for dressing and one’s presentation is an important part of success. This is the premise of my wardrobe consulting service, styledlook®.

What are some of your favorite destinations? Toi: I love places that are filled with beautiful women and handsome men like the ruggedly handsome cowboys and ranch hands of Montana or the exotic beauties of Africa. Quinn: My life is about dualities. While I am a hotel aficionado, I adore small-town America. I love the simplicity of the American lifestyle in a small town. Fashion exists everywhere.

Which is more important in creating a distinctive outfit: garments or accessories? Toi: I am huge believer in individuality, so it depends on each person’s style and preference. Quinn: When you talk about the basic “uniform,” it always starts with clothing. I feel strongly that accessories make an outfit distinctive and best expresses one’s personal style. Who remembers a great turtleneck? How do you feel about the rising popularity of high-low fashion? Toi: I love the pairing of high-low pieces. There is absolutely nothing wrong with pairing Levi's jeans with an alligator Hermès Kelly bag and one of my cashmere-silk cardigan wrap-set with mink border. Quinn: It is democracy of fashion, and I find it intoxicating and exciting. It gives consumers the opportunity to make their own decisions and has opened the door to allow more people to feel fashionable. What foods, activities, or traditions inspire you? Toi: French cuisine and table settings are gorgeous. Japanese food and its packaging look perfect and provide beautiful inspiration. Quinn: My dear friend Zang is a foodie. When I visit him in New York, we only eat at the finest restaurants and everybody knows him. Me? I could have a bagel and LAFFY TAFFY and be happy. Photo by Mike Hnida

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On the Runway > Onward Style

[ by Sara Rogers ]

Revenge of the Nerds Hot picks from MOA® Trend Specialist Sara Rogers Get out your pocket protectors because geek-chic cardigans are on the checklist for fall. Worn shrunken, chunky, classic or striped this season, cardigans are the perfect transition piece to make over your summer favorites into winter wear. One caveat – steer clear from buying extremely baggy styles or you’ll end up looking more fuddy-duddy than fashionable.

SHAWL COLLAR MARTIN + OSA / LEVEL 2, SOUTH (S214) The shawl collar adds sophistication and drama to a basic wardrobe staple. This purple Martin + Osa style allows you to button up for the work day or let loose and layer for a cozy weekend look.

CHUNKY KNIT UNITED COLORS OF BENETTON / LEVEL 1, SOUTH (S152) Sturdy, knit styles are the perfect remedy for Minnesota’s colder temps! The fitted shape and versatile color of this cardigan would look great worn over almost any color button-up, plus the easy zip-up closure also makes this a must-buy.

DESTRUCTED MARTIN + OSA / LEVEL 2, SOUTH (S214) This relaxed woven is a great option if you’re looking to jump on the cardigan bandwagon but prefer more casual, sporty styles. The raw edges and jersey fabric are a perfect mix of comfortable and cool.

STRIPES

November 20–December 3, 2009

METROPARK / LEVEL 1, NORTH (N108) Channel your inner Harry Potter in this striped sweater option from Metropark. The crest-style patch appliqué is an excellent added detail in addition to hand-warmer style pockets perfect for carrying all your potions.

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BUTTON PLAY AMERICAN APPAREL / LEVEL 1, NORTH (N186) Definitely not meant for wallflowers, this double-breasted cardigan from American Apparel is a great twist on a basic look. Made out of 100% fine jersey cotton, this funky style is also available in numerous other colors including basic black, Sahara brown and charcoal.

Onward Style is Lavender’s exclusive column written by Sara Rogers, MOA® Trend Specialist. Sara has worked in the fashion industry for more than 20 years as a model, fashion specialist, wardrobe therapist, and television host. As the Trend Specialist and Personal Shopper for Mall of America®, her “office” spans 4.2 million square feet and more than 520 stores, providing her with extensive resources to research what’s hot in retail trends.

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On the Runway > Isn't Fashion Fun

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[ Kevin Quinn ]

STYLEDLIFE® is on the cover with Zang Toi this month! Inside this issue of Isn’t Fashion Fun, the story on our travel schedules has inspired me to share a few fashion travel tips for how a little preparation (and a few key items) can make your next sojourn stress-free and happening.

For the organizers among us, nothing says "prepared" like a modern passport cover for your most important travel document.

Travel is a constant in many people's busy lifestyles. For me personally, I embrace it (and sometimes curse it) and have found a rhythm that works. Travel is a key part of many Lavender readers personal and professional lives too. Here are my suggestions and tips to make the travel experience personal and pleasurable:

Tunes can define and enhance any travel experience. Take a new CD for that rental car drive down Hwy 101. Best CD we have heard this year? No question, the new Ocean Drive. Absolutely fierce!

Sunglasses are instant COOL whether going to Puerto Vallarta or Alaska. Most modern? Big frames.

STYLEDLIFE® candle: We personalize our "look", why not personalize your temporary "space". Add aromatherapy to your hotel room and after you check-in, "check-out" from daily stress with our modern Tobacco/Vanilla soy candle. It's heaven!

November 20–December 3, 2009

It's a minimal touch but a maximal style statement. Add colorful luggage tags to your bags. Carry-on or checked.

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Y-3 travel bag? Coolest brand ever. 'nuff said.

Travel safely, travel happy and travel stylishly...and don't forget to take photos! Live your Best Life....your STYLEDLIFE! Kevin P. Quinn

Mandarina Duck suitcase. Sleek, modern and affordable. Stand out in a subtle way with this revered, yet low profile Italian brand.

Isn’t Fashion Fun™ is your monthly go-to resource for fashion expertise on how style-related topics play into your wardrobe and vis-à-vis your busy life. Isn’t Fashion Fun™ is brought to you by the fashion leader STYLEDLIFE® and the wardrobe experts™ of styledlook®, the premier at-home wardrobe consulting company with clients nationwide. Got a big event or hot date coming up and don’t know what to wear? No worries—we’re here for you. What’s the best accessory gift or music CD for a special someone? Yes, we can dial you in on that, too. Email us your fashion/wardrobe dilemmas to . Live your best life… your STYLEDLIFE!

Lavender Lens | THE AFFAIR

Photos by Mike Feltault Photography

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November 7 & 8 Minneapolis Convention Center

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HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

TANGLETOWN GARDENS

HIV Pendant

This fashionable, sterling silver gift benefits a great cause. All proceeds from this pendant designed by Anna Sheffield, benefit the Covalent Immunology Foundation (CIF), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit. It was founded to raise awareness, and support the research of Dr. Sudhir Paul, currently developing a prototype vaccine to prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS. Pendant design was inspired by antique hand-stamped coins incorporating the CIF logo. Either on chain ($89) or silk ribbon ($55). To purchase, go to <www.bingbangnyc.com>.

Not just plants, but also books, tools, arrangements, and canned produce from its own fields to please all winter long. Unique items in stone, wicker, metal, and ceramic. A sample of the cornucopia: classic candelabra for twilight tête-à-têtes; bronze bearers ($59 each); candleholders ($2.99 each); preserves ($7.50); tools ($22.50 each); centerpiece ($79). 5353 Nicollet Ave., Mpls. (612) 822-4769 <www.tangletowngardens.com>

THUMBS UP MITTENS These colorful, one-of-a kind, adult, fleece-lined mittens, with decorative cuff buttons, are handcrafted from recycled wool sweaters by an ingenious mother-daughter team. Daughter Megan Woods, of Boston, Massachusetts, and mother Karla Hardy, of Skandia, Michigan (a seamstress for more than 40 years), together have created this superbly soft and wonderfully warm collection. They are sold (retail $75/pair) through boutiques and trunk shows, as well as on <www. thumbsupmittens.com>.

I AM NOT A PAPER CUP

I am, in fact, a clever and eco-friendly matte-finish, doublewalled porcelain mug with a silicone lid. I hold about 8 oz. I am dishwasher-safe and reusable. I’m packaged attractively in a see-through box, and also priced attractively at under $20, at gift shops, major stores, and online. From DCI, makers of a wide range of other unique home and kitchen items. I’ll be a hit. Try me.

November 20–December 3, 2009

ALPHABET PHOTOGRAPHY

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A unique gift opportunity: a customized piece of artwork for that special person, using any inspiring phrase or meaningful word spelled out in a multitude of iconographic images and shapes. Can be tailored to fit any occasion—birthdays, anniversaries, holidays—and any age group, from babies to nonagenarians. Choose your word, and pick from hundreds of images. Also: posters, custom frames, calendars, and more. Check them out at <www. alphabetphotography. com>.

GORDON BROTHERS 2008 ICE WINE

This unique desert wine offers a fun gift alternative to traditional reds and whites. Gordon Brothers Family Vineyards in Washington State produces an exceptionally delicious ice wine made from 100 percent Gewürztraminer grapes. Aromas of floralinfused honey and gently crushed roses carry seamlessly through to the palate, where the fragrances are joined by flavors of apricots, nectarines, blood oranges, and generous nuances of citrus zest. $37 gets the wine packaged with a beautiful 375 ml. frosted glass. Visit <www.gordonwines.com>.

Lavender Lens | THE AFFAIR

Photos by Mike Feltault Photography

LavenderMagazine.com

November 7 & 8 Minneapolis Convention Center

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HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

MINNEAPOLIS INSTITUTE OF ARTS GIFT SHOP

WALKING THUNDER: IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF THE AFRICAN ELEPHANT CYRIL CHRISTO AND MARIE WILKINSON • $60 SLUM DOGS OF INDIA ELOISE LEYDEN • $16.95

These represent only two of Merrell Publishers’s many fine books on animals, gardens, art, and architecture. Photographers Christo, Wilkinson, and Leyden have followed their subjects—the lofty and majestic, the humble and lowly—with the love and concern due all Earth’s creatures. Peruse the catalog at <www.merrellpublishers. com>. Available at fine bookstores near you.

TASSIMO Tassimo brews premium coffeehouse-quality beverages, including four distinct coffee blends from Starbucks®. An expanding T DISC new lineup includes coffee, real milk, cappuccino and latte, espresso, crema, tea, and hot chocolate. Distinct technology reads the “T Disc” barcode, calibrating to deliver a perfect first-cup experience, every time, in 60 seconds. At select specialty and department stores, or <www. tassimo.com>. MSRP range $129.99 to $199.99.

The Minnesota Institute of Arts Louvre gift shop celebrates The Louvre and the Masterpiece exhibit with objets historic, playful, profound, and unique. Pictured: French for Le Snob, by Yvete Roche ($16.95); Fleur-de-lys finial ($26.50); Fragonard guest soaps ($22.50); Joyeux Nöel Eiffel Tower ornament ($22.50); “Dreaming of Paris” mask ($24.50). Lavishly illustrated exhibit catalog—not shown—only $35. Minneapolis Institute of Arts, 2400 3rd Ave. S., Mpls. <www.artsmia.org>

PARIS PHOTOS ~ PARIS WALKS PETER J. O’TOOLE ARTIST BOOK PRESS • $65

The 135 black-and-white photographs and hand-drawn maps in this gorgeous volume will immerse you in the City of Light. O’Toole’s luminous prints have a timeless quality and depth that have garnered awards, causing both the Walker and Minneapolis Institute of Arts to include it in their museum shops. The book is a paean to Paris, as well as a collaboration between O’Toole and his partner, Tim Schultz, who created the walking guides. The accompanying bilingual text rounds out a superb production.

VIVABOX Vivabox presents a two-layered experience

November 20–December 3, 2009

combining the recipient’s freedom of choice with your personal touch. The first layer is a themed sample gift to tempt the recipient; the second, your gift card he or she redeemed from Vivabox’s menu. You choose a theme—you know his or her preferences. He or she opens the box, and enjoys the sample gift, then visits the website, and picks a gift with his or her card. Voilà! Check for themes, prices.

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NEVER TRUST A THIN COOK: AND OTHER LESSONS FROM ITALY’S CULINARY CAPITAL ERIC DREGNI • $22.95 OUR NECK OF THE WOODS: EXPLORING MINNESOTA’S WILD PLACES DANIEL J. PHILLIPON • $19.95

Two of many first-person volumes from the University of Minnesota Press. Readers of Dregni’s In Cod We Trust will delight in his gastronomic two-year adventure in Modena, Italy. Closer to home, Phillipon has gathered some 57 short pieces drawn from Minnesota Conservation Volunteer; fascinating, for armchair and hands-on naturalist alike. Browse complete catalog at <[email protected]>.

Lavender Lens | THE AFFAIR

Photos by Mike Feltault Photography

LavenderMagazine.com

November 7 & 8 Minneapolis Convention Center

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HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

Mug of the Month Club • Ralph Nuara Pottery This is one gift-of-the-month-club you just may TIGER BRIEF • JUNK DRAWERS Custom-made banana hammocks for 20 bucks? Crafted right here in Minneapolis, the Junk Drawers Tiger Brief is hand-sewn from all-new, recycled, and repurposed materials. Eco- and fashion-friendly, these cotton lycra crotch cozies make a perfectly sassy stocking stuffer. $20. http://miniurl.org/briefs

want to give yourself. Ralph Naura’s Minneapolismade mugs are individual works of art, and his yearlong Mug of the Month Club is an outright steal at $360. Best of all, the combination of mugs and glazes is customizable—up to you. Mugs are leadfree, nontoxic, food- and dishwasher-safe. http://miniurl.org/mugs

Robot Wine Rack Paperdoll Woodshop

What better way to keep your spendy vintages secure than under the watchful eye of an angry turquoise robot? Think your new handcrafted wooden wine steward isn’t classy enough to cradle your cabernet? Just pop on his debonair detachable mustache for a look that’s sure to please even the snobbiest of wine snobs. Movable arms. Comes with felt discs to protect surfaces. Allow one week to custom-make order. $39.50. http://miniurl.org/robot

Caramallows • Calabasas Candy Company

Can you think of anything more decadent than handmade buttery vanilla caramels wrapped around pillows of dense fluffy marshmallow? Calabasas Candy Company is known for its truffles, but this unbelievable taste-treat sensation will have the sweet tooth on your list singing your praises. $8. http://miniurl.org/candy

November 20–December 3, 2009

FOLLOW THE SPARROWS PRINT • ASHLEY G

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Ashley G’s artwork is beautiful, whimsical, and completely enchanting. Follow the Sparrows is my favorite pic, but her body of work is broad, and full of something for most everyone. She even will create custom portraits of individuals and couples. Each print is signed and titled, then shipped in a protective sleeve in a bend-proof fiberboard mailer. $20. http://miniurl.org/print

The Blimp Laptop Sleeve •Brokesy I can’t think of a better gift for the techie who has everything than a kitschy, custom-made laptop cozy. I fell in love with the blimp, but from multiple choices, Brokesy will customsize each sleeve to fit your particular measurements. Sleeves are padded, and lined with stain-resistant fabric. Allow two weeks to complete custom orders. $85. http://miniurl.org/lapto

Big Gay News > [ Written & Compiled by Bradley Traynor ]

NATIONAL NEWS

AMA VOTES TO SEEK DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL REPEAL The American Medical Association (AMA), the nation’s largest professional group of doctors, has agreed to support the effort to repeal the military’s ban on openly gay service members. It said the law creates an ethical dilemma for gay service members and the doctors who treat them. The organization also voted to declare that bans on same-sex marriages contribute to health disparities for gay couples and their children.

ACTIVISTS URGE OBAMA AND DNC FUNDING BOYCOTT Americablog’s John Aravosis and Joe Sudbay have organized a boycott against President Barack Obama and the Democratic National Committee (DNC), recommending people withhold funds until he and the party uphold campaign promises to the GLBT community. Aravosis said on his website, “This campaign is temporary, and is only meant to help some friends, President Obama and the Democratic Party, who have lost their way.” The petition asks readers not give to Obama or the DNC until “the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) is passed, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) is repealed, and the so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) is repealed—all of which President Obama repeatedly promised to do if elected.”

WORLD NEWS

According to the Canadian Press, Sweden’s Lutheran Church has ordained its first openly lesbian bishop. The move comes just two weeks after the church gave clergy the right to perform same-sex wedding ceremonies. Eva Brunne was ordained as a bishop in a ceremony in Stockholm. She told the Associated Press, “It is very positive that our church is setting an example here, and is choosing me as bishop based on my qualifications, when they also know that they can meet resistance elsewhere.” She is in a registered same-sex partnership, and has one child. Brunne is believed to be the only openly lesbian bishop of a major Christian denomination.

LavenderMagazine.com

SWEDEN’S LUTHERAN CHURCH ORDAINS FIRST OPENLY LESBIAN BISHOP

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November 20–December 3, 2009

News & Politics

[ by John Townsend ]

MAGNIFICENT NEW BOOK ABOUT MATTHEW SHEPHERD ASTONISHES An Interview with Judy Shepard Photo by Hubert Bonnet

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O

n October 7, 1998, Matthew Shepard was pistol-whipped and tortured maniacally by Aaron McKinney, while Russell Henderson aided and abetted, tying Shepard to a fence post near Laramie, Wyoming. After he was found, the world kept vigil until the 5’ 2”, 105 lb., 21-year-old gay college student died in a Fort Collins, Colorado, hospital on October 12. The two murderers insidiously posed as friendly gay men to lure him into what would become the iconic hate crime of our time. The historic nature of Shepard’s murder surely has made millions of people— who never would have thought about the subject—aware of the profoundly psychotic potential of homophobia. The downside is that it has made him seem larger than life, not a real person who actually lived and struggled as we all do. In response to the myth of Shepard, his mother, Judy Shepard, has written the staggering The Meaning of Matthew: My Son’s Murder in Laramie, and a World Transformed. If you ever wanted a book to help anyone—a parent, a friend, a coworker, or even yourself—to understand what it is to be gay in a society that still traffics in homophobia, this is the one. A milestone, it’s a real page-turner. The Meaning of Matthew is a great work that integrates Judy Shepard’s deep feelings about her son; her view of his choices, gay politics, homophobia, and society; and coming to terms with death. It not only delves into how Matthew Shepard perceived being gay, but also how his parents processed it, and society’s role in all of it as well. When I recently spoke with Judy Shepard, I found her to be a dynamo for progress in human rights. You wanted to describe the Matt who you knew, not “Matthew Shepard,” the political icon the rest of the world has come to know. For you, he was simply “Matt.” The reason I wrote the book is because I felt the public only knew him as Matthew, but he was always Matt to everybody else. I was a little worried that he was becoming very one-dimensional and all too perfect, and not really a real person. I just felt it was important that everyone who knew him as the iconic Matthew got to know him as the very human Matt. A revisionist history, a falsification of the record about your son’s murder, has been cropping up. You

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November 20–December 3, 2009

...

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[Interview with Judy Shepard]

address it in your book. It was also exposed by the theatrical journalism of the Tectonic Theatre artists, whose The Laramie Project: 10 Years Later, An Epilogue—a play they researched in Laramie and wrote—was read publicly at more than 150 theaters simultaneously in October. There has been a movement to change what happened to Matt into not a hate crime, but to make it into something like a robbery and/or a drug deal gone wrong, which is really confusing to me, because all you have to do is go back to the trial transcript, and you can see by both boys’ confessions that it was far more than that. They admitted to pretending to be gay. How I read it is that these guys actually lured him into that situation, and donned a gay facade to manipulate him. That’s exactly right. They singled him out, because they assumed he was gay, and that’s how they befriended him, and for anyone to think that they did anything different, especially when the two boys said that that’s what they did, just seems so goofy to me. Are you finding that people in Laramie are speaking up about this falsification, this revisionist history? The University of Wyoming produced one of the productions of The Laramie Project: 10 Years Later, and it’s created quite an amount of discussion within the City of Laramie. I find it ironic when so many who oppose hate-crimes legislation will scream “terrorist!,” and jump the gun to strip the rights of anyone suspected of terrorism on paltry evidence, even though they’ll complain that hatecrimes efforts try to read the mind of the perpetrator. Yet, that’s exactly what the ones who scream terrorist are trying to do. However, I would say they more often than not tend to misread the mind of the ones they suspect to be terrorists. I think that’s true. You never hear them talk about wanting to repeal the hatecrimes legislation that already exists protecting race and religion. How did Matthew’s rape in Morocco, which you address in the book, shake his confidence? I think it’s the same for any victim of sexual assault. They lose confidence in their own being. Their self-esteem is damaged, often beyond repair. And there’s a large amount of guilt. I think Matt blamed himself for allowing that to happen.

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LavenderMagazine.com

November 20–December 3, 2009

...

34

[Interview with Judy Shepard]

Of course, as we know, there’s nothing he could have done to stop it. The men jumped him. Sure, but I think the guilt is a natural reaction. You just think there’s something you did or didn’t do to stop that. But I think every rape victim goes through that. So many movies, video games, etc. have come to be drenched with violence. We now have so many images of callous machismo—weaponry, action, destruction, rather than dialogue. Your thoughts on the saturation of violence. I think it’s the media, because the day Matt was killed, what we kept saying was if it bleeds, it leads. I think that we just talk about it so much that it becomes part of our everyday psyche, and we are no longer shocked when it happens on individual levels. Mass levels, of course, but on individual levels, I think our society has become so jaded about violence, emotional and physical, that we pretty much just don’t pay attention anymore. Your husband, Dennis, had to wear a bulletproof vest to Matt’s memorial service. And there was the emotional violence of Fred Phelps’s clan of the Westboro Baptist Church, chanting hateful, evil things about Matt so loudly that the sound of it carried into the Episcopal Church where the service was being held. That was quite unexpected. We did it [the vest] at the request of the police in Casper. They were concerned about the haters, for lack of a better word, trying to make a statement. Of course, nothing happened. You mention Catholic-sponsored actions against the death penalty outside the trial of Aaron McKinney possibly influencing the jury. The Mormon Church orchestrated opposition last year to Prop 8. Catholic bishops were consulted about the recent House health care bill. You are a Christian yourself, an Episcopalian, but what are your thoughts on religious intrusion into political affairs? They certainly have the right to express their personal opinion, but to bring church doctrine or their congregations along with them—to me, it’s a violation of what we hold dear: the separation of church and state. I think the evangelical movement in general has, or had then, created an atmosphere that made it seem OK to marginalize the gay community. I think there’s a large part of that still happening. Conservative politicians and the religious right wing—I think they influence the

...

[Interview with Judy Shepard]

THE MEANING OF MATTHEW: MY SON’S MURDER IN LARAMIE, AND A WORLD TRANSFORMED JUDY SHEPARD HUDSON STREET PRESS $25.95

LavenderMagazine.com

people that look to them for guidance. I think that’s kind of sad. A lot of parents of GLBT kids, who seem to accept their kids, don’t really take a public stand for them. Even when Matt was alive, it seems like you took a stand for him, as you still do. I think their most important role is to be there for their children in their own family ranks—to support their kids—and among their friends. Any kind of situation where you can further knowledge about the gay community is invaluable, and as parents, we are in social situations all the time where we have the opportunity to address people’s prejudice or ignorance about the GLBT community. That’s what we should be doing. Making it personal makes it real, and changes people’s minds. I’m only this public because I was thrust into it, but if this had not happened, I would have been involved as a mom at PFLAG. It is very important for friends and family to talk about their gay family members in a very educational, positive way. World AIDS Day is coming up on December 1. In your book, you write that you found out about Matt’s HIV status after he’d been beaten so brutally. The HIV status then seemed comparatively minor. What are your thoughts on HIV/AIDS? I’m concerned that young people can think that, because there’s treatment, there’s a cure or even a prevention, and that they’re now practicing unsafe sex again. The [infection] numbers are on the rise, and that concerns me greatly. You formed the Matthew Shepard Foundation within two months of his murder. You came to a quick resolve. We’ve created a website at <www.matthewsplace.com>, which addresses young people between the age of 12 and 20. It’s a resource list of places that are safe to help gay kids or kids at risk in general. We try to be very positive, very encouraging about their futures being safe and discrimination-free. We do education projects; produce and publish our own educational programs; and do lectures for schools. It’s about keeping the dialogue going.

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Arts & Entertainment > On the Townsend

[ by John Townsend ]

SOME GIRL(S) / THROUGH DEC. 5 / PILLSBURY HOUSE, 3501 CHICAGO AVE. S., MPLS / (612) 3750300 / <WWW.WALKINGSHADOWCOMPANY.ORG>

November 20–December 3, 2009

Brian Balcom is among our best local directors for dealing with issues of the erotic. His stagings of some of Trista Baldwin’s sexually drenched plays, as well as Noah Haidle’s fantastical satire on child sexuality, Mr. Marmalade, have been remarkable. So, we should have known it was only a matter of time until we would see him take on the always-unsettling Neil LaBute, whose Some Girl(s) is a perfect Balcom vehicle. Balcom calls the play “an examination into the ignorance of a man’s actions, and his comprehending the consequences as he’s faced with the wreckage of his love. Guy [Clarence Wethern] travels around the country to make amends with four old girlfriends, but discovers the wounds he inflicted are much deeper and more substantial than he realized. It’s a brutal look at one man’s romantic behavior and the destruction that he’s left behind.”

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Some Girls. Photo by Elise Rosen

IN THE HEIGHTS / DEC. 1-6 / ORPHEUM THEATRE, 910 HENNEPIN AVE., MPLS. / (800) 982-2787 / <WWW.HENNEPINTHEATRETRUST.ORG>

In the Heights won the 2008 Tony for

Best Musical and the Grammy for Best Musical Show Album. It’s a breakthrough for a broad mainstream audience, with a blend of Latin music and hip-hop in an urban neighborhood setting. During the current

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...

[On the Townsend]

national tour, ensemble performer Wilkie Ferguson has been struck by its intergenerational appeal, even though one might suspect its contemporary sound might negate that. Indeed, the show encompasses three generations of music. It also reflects the economic struggles very much on the minds of the public today. Ferguson says, “The quality of the music, Andy Blankenbuehler’s choreography, and the story that’s being told really opens people’s eyes. It’s telling the story of part of the community that I don’t think has had a voice in Broadway theater, so I think it’s great for a contemporary show to give voice to these people who haven’t been represented. I’m African-American, and most of the cast is Latin or of Latin descent. It was a big challenge for me, because I didn’t grow up with that tradition. But the story is universal.”

CORLEONE: THE SHAKESPEAREAN GODFATHER / THROUGH DEC. 13 / GREMLIN THEATRE, 2400 UNIVERSITY AVE. W., ST. PAUL / (651) 228-7008 / <WWW.GREMLIN-THEATRE.ORG>

David Mann is a first-rate Shakespearean director and actor. He’s also an accomplished playwright. Now, he has melded one of his favorite films with his favorite playwright. He also directs his script. Mann shares, “I am constantly amazed at how the story of The Godfather mirrors Shakespeare. The tragedies of Shakespeare often depict the fall of a particular man as a result of his own ambition, greed, or inadequacy: Hamlet, Macbeth, Richard II, or Lear. The Godfather is essentially the tragedy of Michael Corleone [Ryan Lindberg], a man whose personal ambition and fear bring the ruin of his soul. When this story is heard in Shakespearean verse, it makes complete sense.”

November 20–December 3, 2009

A CHRISTMAS CAROL / THROUGH DEC. 31 / GUTHRIE THEATER, 818 S. 2ND ST., MPLS. / (612) 377-2224 / <WWW.GUTHRIETHEATER.ORG>

38

Perhaps you’ve heard that the Guthrie’s 35th annual revival of its holiday specialty now only runs 90 minutes. Though you like that, perhaps you’re afraid it won’t have the same wonderful feel to it. But fear not. Barbara Field, who penned the adaptation you’ve enjoyed in years past, also has written this new one. Peter Michael Goetz plays Scrooge—he’s a Guthrie veteran and titan, as well as a Lavender Best Supporting Actor (Polonius in Hamlet at the Guthrie in 2006).

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LavenderMagazine.com

Bar Advertiser Guide |

Bartender Spotlight | [ by George Holdgrafer ]

06

15

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19 BAR

03

CAMP 490 N. Robert St., St. Paul (651) 292-1844 <www.camp-bar.net> An upscale but casual spot with great video, dancing, cabaret, and the friendliest staff in town!

04

05

08

408 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. <www.gay90s.com> Gay 90’s Upper Midwest’s Largest Gay Entertainment Complex. Serving reasonably priced menu in main bar Wednesday-Sunday. Dance Annex Awesome DJs deliver latest in dance, techno, and hot gay anthems for your dancing pleasure. Happy Hour Newly remodeled. Open longest hours of any local GLBT bar. State-of-the art sound/video. La Femme Show Lounge The Ladies of La Femme present the Twin Cities’s best female impersonator show Wednesday-Sunday. Men’s Room It’s a guy thing (ladies beware!). Hot men in a sizzling scene. Best male dancers. Retro Bar Just what its name says. Fabulous DJs reprise the best of the ’70s through ’90s.

November 20–December 3, 2009

07

40

09

10

515-513-501 Washington Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 338-4214/(612) 338-0896 <www.minneapoliseagle.com> <www.boltbar.com> Minneapolis Eagle Gay-owned & operated for 11 years. Home of famous Friday 3-for-1 Happy Hour & Sunday afternoon Beer Bust. Bolt Best video bar in Twin Cities. Huge selection of music/comedy video clips & Show Tune Sundays. Best patio in town. Bolt Underground Industrial & carnal nightclub hidden beneath the city. Join us for CHAMBER every Thursday night.

rt

St

.

RUMOURS INNUENDO

SALOON FIRE BAR

11

TOWN HOUSE PIANO LOUNGE 1415 University Ave. W., St. Paul (651) 646-7087 <www.townshousebar.com> Town House Fun neighborhood bar with a great mix of men and women. Karaoke. Drag shows. Piano Lounge That’s entertainment! Friday: Karaoke (Twyla). Saturday: Lori Dokken & Friends. Sunday: Karaoke (John). Monday: Men’s Night. Superior

WI

WI

•

CLUB METRO

Wisconsin

Amy

WHAT Recipe: Blood Bath 1 part Red Wine (Preferably Cabernet) 1 part Chambord 1 part Cranberry Juice Mull orange slice, lemon slice, lime slice, and cherries in pint glass. Fill with ice, add ingredients, and shake. Pour and enjoy.

WHEN Fri. • 9 PM-2 AM

THE FLAME

Rumours/Innuendo 213 E. 4th St., St. Paul (651) 225-GLBT (4528) <www.rumours-stpaul.com>

WHERE

J.T.’S BAR & GRILL 1506 N. 3rd St., Superior (715) 394-2580 <www.jtsbarandgrill.net>

WI

WHO

235 Main St., Somerset • Somerset (715) 247-3373 <www.clubmetrosomerset.com> 1612 Tower Ave., Superior (715) 395-0101 <www.SuperiorFlame.com> WI

AMY

TICKLES 1032 3rd Ave. NE, Mpls. (612) 354-3846 <www.ticklesbar.com> Live Piano Music. Full-Service Menu, Happy Hour, Sports on 4 Flat-Panel TVs, Pool, Darts.

LUSH

MINNEAPOLIS EAGLE BOLT BOLT UNDERGROUND

08

be

830 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (612) 332-0835 <www.saloonmn.com> Saloon Long regarded as Minneapolis’s cutting-edge dance club, with friendly staff and discerning customers. Fire Bar & Grill Enjoy fabulous cocktails by the glow of the fireplace in an elegant ambience.

GLADIUS

990 Central Ave. NE, Mpls. <www.lushfoodbar.com> Video Bar. Eclectic Live Entertainment, Mixing Artists. Eat. Drink. Be LUSHious.

03 R o

St

213 E. 4th St., St. Paul (651) 225-GLBT (4528) <www.rumours-stpaul.com> Rumours Hottest dance club with fabulous DJs, plus shows featuring variety of the best local talent. Innuendo Casual, intimate “Cheers” ambience for quiet conversation, Happy Hour, and community organization shows/fund-raisers.

GAY 90’S MEGABAR

1111 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (612) 332-9963 <www.gladiusbar.com> The New York Chic of Minneapolis. Most elegant space to drink in Twin Cities. 06

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7t

Grand Ave.

BRASS RAIL LOUNGE 422 Hennepin. Ave., Mpls. (612) 332-RAIL(7245) Now open. Completely remodeled piano lounge featuring variety of entertainment. Nightly drink specials 7 PM-2 AM

.

University Ave.

Selby Ave.

19 W. 15th St., Mpls. (612) 871-5553 Shoot pool or play darts at your neighborhood bar—the Twin Cities’s oldest GLBT establishment.

02

Minnehaha Ave.

11 26th Ave. S.

Lake St.

01

Univ

Larpenteur Ave. Larpenteur Ave.

▼

09

05

ng

Dale St.

ve. 1st A

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hi

Snelling Ave.

W as

04

Ave. 10 3rd E N e. Av l tra Hennepin Ave.

THE MAIN CLUB 1217 Tower Ave., Superior (715) 392-1756 <www.mainclubsuperior.com>

WHY “Great drinks, with the personalities of an awesome staff….Besides that, who doesn’t like a great pair of dimples?”

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November 20–December 3, 2009

Lavender Lens | HALLOWEEN October 31 19 BAR

November 20–December 3, 2009

Photo by George Holdgrafer

44

BOLT UNDERGROUND

Photo by Sophia Hantzes

GAY 90'S

Photo by George Holdgrafer

THE SALOON

Photo by George Holdgrafer

Bar Scene > Leather Life

[ by Steve Lenius ]

“Leather Life”: A Valedictory, of Sorts

B

November 20–December 3, 2009

ack on June 9, 1995, one of the features of the first issue of Lavender Magazine (then called Lavender Lifestyles) was the first edition of this “Leather Life” column. Since then, for almost 15 years, it has appeared in all but a few issues of Lavender. The magazine recently decided to change the editorial direction of the Bar Scene section. So, the column you now are reading will be the last every-issue installment of “Leather Life.” Henceforth, it will appear quarterly. With so many items still on my “future columns” list, I am surprised, and somewhat saddened, to see the column’s frequency being reduced. But I am thankful for much. Because of this column, I have met many fine people, and had many great experiences, the memories of which I always will cherish. I am very grateful to Lavender for giving

46

me the freedom to write what I wanted to write, and for not editing me too much. I have enjoyed having the support of everyone who has been a part of Lavender over the years, including editors, art directors, office staff, ad sales reps, and fellow contributors. Special thanks to George Holdgrafer, who has been with the magazine from its beginning. My deep gratitude to Lavender CEO Stephen Rocheford, who always has had the good sense to know that a publication, if it is to survive, must be run as a self-sustaining business, not a social cause. That, I think, is one reason Lavender is the longest-running GLBT publication in the Upper Midwest. I always have been proud to have my column appear in its pages. Thanks to everyone at Leatherpage.com for linking to Lavender’s website, thereby including me in their fine slate of leather writers. Thanks to my partner, Bill, for reading

each column moments after it has been written, and offering helpful critiques. Thank you to everyone in the leather/ BDSM/fetish community—individually for being who you are, and collectively for creating such a vibrant community and culture that have given me so much to write about for all these years. “Leather Life” always has been your column—I’ve just been the one who happened to be writing it. Finally, thanks to you, the person reading this column. Whether you’re leather, BDSM, fetish, or none of the above; whether you’re G, L, B, T, heterosexual, pansexual, or refuse to be labeled; and whether you picked up the magazine, and flipped to this column, or pointed your browser to Lavender’s website, and found the column there— thanks for reading. I’ll be back with another edition of “Leather Life” sometime next spring.

Bar Scene > Bar Calendar For club addresses, phone numbers, and Web sites, see “Bar Advertiser Guide” on page 40. For events not at bars, see .

Booby Trap

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 26

Bolt Underground

Therapy Thursday Thanksgiving Dance Party: DJs Storm & Flo

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22

Sneak Preview Featuring

Gary Collins

The Men of Seduction

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 27

5 PM. Tickles.

7 PM. Club Metro. Somerset, WI.

Post Turkey Day Amateur Dance Contest 11 AM. Déjå Vu, 315 Washington Ave. N., Mpls.

Drag 9-1-1 9 PM. Rumours. Mia Dorr 9 PM. Tickles. Dragged Out 9:30 PM. Town House. 27th Annual Blue Moon Ball

November 20–December 3, 2009

The Main Club. Superior, WI.

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9 PM. Rumours.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 20

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 25

Jimmy Martin & Dee Noah 8 PM. Tickles. Winter White Party: DJ Mew 9 PM. Gay 90’s. Babes in Toyland Imperial Court of Minnesota

Gary Collins 5 PM. Tickles. Lure: DJs Shiek, AJent Orange, Monica Farr 9 PM. Rumours. Mia Dorr 9 PM. Tickles.

Benefit for Toys for Tots

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 28

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 21

9 PM. Gladius.

North Country Bears Bar Night

Minnesota Vixxen Fund-raiser

Pre-Thanksgiving Dance Party:

8 PM. Bolt Underground.

7 PM. Innuendo.

DJs Storm & Flo

Jeff Olson

Remembering Mr. Marcus Benefit

9 PM. Rumours.

8:30 PM. Tickles.

7 PM. Minneapolis Eagle.

DJ/Producer Mark Picchiotti &

North Star Gay Rodeo Association

Jeff Olson

BeBe Zahara Benet

Fund-raising Show

8:30 PM. Tickles.

10 PM. Saloon.

9 PM. Innuendo.

“Get Bent” Drag King Show

Babylon

Elegance

10 PM. Rumours.

Spin. 10 S. 5th St., Mpls.

9 PM. Town House.

[ by Todd Park ]

OBAMA

Signs Federal Hate-Crimes Bill

I

promised Judy Shepard when I saw her in the Oval Office that this day would come,” President Barack Obama said just before signing the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act into law on October 28. With the President’s signature, accidental activists Dennis and Judy Shepard witnessed the devastating loss of their son transform into triumph for countless millions. The legislation honors the memory of Matthew Shepard, a Wyoming college student brutally murdered in an act of hate violence in 1998, and James Byrd Jr., an African-American man who was dragged to death in Jasper, Texas, the same year. The passage of this landmark legislation took the combined efforts and influence of more than 300 civil-rights and social-justice organizations, plus more than a million e-mails, faxes, and phone calls from committed individuals. It was a testament to perseverance on the part of activists nationwide, sending an unmistakable message to Capitol Hill that hate-

November 20–December 3, 2009

HRC PRESIDENT JOE SOLMONESE PRAISED OBAMA FOR SIGNING THE ACT INTO LAW, CALLING IT A “HISTORIC MILESTONE IN THE INEVITABLE MARCH TOWARD EQUALITY.”

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crimes legislation was long overdue. Prior to the enactment of this law, federal hate-crime statutes offered limited protection, covering only certain federally protected activities such as voting. The classes of people were restricted to race, religion, and national origin. The newly enacted legislation expands protection to crimes motivated by bias against a person’s sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, or disability. It also permits the gov-

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November 20–December 3, 2009

... ernment to provide grants and assistance to state and local authorities investigating and prosecuting hate crimes. By giving the Justice Department the power to investigate and prosecute bias-motivated violence, the act ensures that local law enforcement will have the resources it needs to address hate crimes. According to the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), 86,582 hate crimes have been reported since the introduction in Congress of the first hate-crimes bill on November 13, 1997, with 13,528 of them based on sexual orientation. Many biasmotivated crimes go unreported, misleading people into thinking the problem is not as severe as it is, further underscoring the depth of the situation and need for this legislation. HRC President Joe Solmonese praised Obama for signing the Act into law, calling it a “historic milestone in the inevitable march toward equality.” Emphasizing the message of both perseverance in civil-rights progress and grassroots involvement, Judy Shepard, Executive Director of the Matthew Shepard Foundation, stated, “We are incredibly grateful to Congress and the President for taking this step forward on behalf of hatecrime victims and their families. But each of us can and must do much more to ensure true equality for all Americans.” OutFront Minnesota Anti-Violence Director Rebecca Waggoner-Kloek noted that in 2008, a 185 percent increase in violent bias-related crimes took place. In the reported crimes, almost 40 percent of the victims required medical attention. While pointing out that over the past three years, attacks have been progressively more brutal, she called the passage of the federal hate-crimes law “fantastic!—it is the first time we’ve seen such commitment at a high level to safety for everyone.” In the end, the importance of this legislation is about quality of life, of community. When the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act was signed into law, it improved all our communities, not just some of them. It exposed the law’s opponents, and restored rationality to the spotlight. Ultimately, it revived the American dream for a great many people who had been intimidated for far too long by bullies motivated by hate and fear. But now, as the tide is turning, the President’s vision is that, as put it, “No one in America should ever be afraid to walk down the street holding the hands of the person they love.”

LavenderMagazine.com

[Obama]

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Cuisine > Off the Eaten Path MO. FU. ASPARAGUS STICKS

DARKENED EDAMAME ROLL WONTON C GOMAE

BAM BAM ROLL

TIGER SUSHI II November 20–December 3, 2009

[ by Heidi Fellner ]

I

t hasn’t been a year since I wrote about Tiger Sushi II, and ordinarily, that shorter time frame would preclude the restaurant from further scrutiny within the same publication. However, my editor and I decided to make an exception, and I’ll explain why. Tiger Sushi II features such an extensive, creative sushi selection that I would encourage lovers of virgin seafood to pillage the menu with reckless abandon. However, at least one dear and sheltered soul among our friends always shies at the mention of raw fish. Those unrepentant food atheists, along with any strict vegetarians, would be left at many sushi restaurants with a skinny California Roll or a plate of limp tempura. Owner Lisa Edevold Mann knew such limitations would not

serve her Lyn-Lake neighborhood, so she filled out the menu since our last review. The result is almost worthy of a new designation as “Tiger Sushi III,” and definitely a second column. Beginning with the Crazy Shrimp appetizer ($6.95), our entire meal catered to a much broader clientele. Fat, happy shrimp are sautéed in a rich, sweet garlic sauce, then tossed with carrots, red onions, and scallions, and served over sliced oranges. The dish originally was available only off-menu as an employee meal, but became so popular that the staff begged for it to be listed for paying customers as well. It’s paired with a clean, balanced Spanish Albarino ($8/$30) to draw out the sauce’s spice. Next, Edevold Mann proudly presented two hearty, vegetarian-friendly sushi rolls, each of which paired surprisingly Photos by Mike Hnida

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KYURI DIP

TON CHIPS

(From left) Pomegranate Empress, Tiger Hottie, Cool Geisha.

every week. Ours happened to be Pomegranate Empress, which went down like candy. I would do a disservice to Tiger Sushi II if I did not recap one point from my previous column: If you have faith in your chef, and already have tried many Tiger Sushi II specialties, just ask Chef JR Malibirin to make you something new and fabulous. This veritable “food psychic” always seems to get it right. On my most recent visit, the kitchen surprised me with an off-menu, impromptu Hokkaido scallop dish topped with crab, drizzled with a Japanese mayo/ sour cream sauce, and served on a bed of ginger asparagus, all courtesy of Malibirin. Our dessert that evening was also extemporaneous, with cheerful fried bananas and a rich mango sauce. With both entrée and dessert, my dining partner and I sipped Watari Bune Sake ($17/$71), a rare treat— the delicate rice it is made from barely was saved from extinction after the war. Let’s hope my readers now will excuse my return trip. If I go back again in four months, only to write “Tiger Sushi II, III…,” you shall have every right to be indignant. Of course, if you’ve eaten there, you already understand the compulsion.

TIGER SUSHI II 2841 LYNDALE AVE. S., MPLS. (612) 874-1800 <WWW.TIGERSUSHIUSA.COM>

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well with light and fruity Bouchard Pinot Noir ($7/$26). Bam Bam Roll ($9.95) is a feast for the senses, with a center of crunchy tempura veggies—sweet potatoes, asparagus, basil leaves, and jalapeños—surrounded by avocado and rice, and topped prettily with minced inari. The roll rests on a fragrant sauce of pureed pineapple, but it is especially excellent when dipped in soy. It is substantial enough to make a small meal if, and only if, you’re able to resist the other temptations on the menu.

One particularly tantalizing roll is the decadent Darkened Edamame ($18.95)—which can be made completely vegetarian while retaining its charms. It features shrimp tempura, crab, cucumber, avocado, and gobo, kicked up with spicy garlic mayo and a drizzle of chili oil, and topped with super white tuna and garlicky edamame. Edevold Mann told me it ultimately may be nicknamed the “Better than Sex Roll,” and after tasting it, I understand completely. For those who want more of an entrée, JR’s Black Miso Cod ($13.95) more than suffices. Marinated a day-and-a-half in creamy miso sauce, ginger, garlic, and lime, it is cooked to flaky perfection, and served over fresh greens. In the wintertime, however, Minnesotans probably will shift their eyes to the Udon menu. Beef Udon ($12.95) is simple comfort food made from scratch, and that dish no doubt will be what I send my friends to fetch the next time I get the sniffles. Tiger Sushi II now has a drive-up/takeout menu for dedicated patrons who need good food fast. Simply call, place your order, and describe your vehicle. When you pull up to the “Tiger Takeout Zone,” someone will run out to your car. A fuller, restaurant-wide happy-hour menu is a welcome development for the Uptown crowd. As well, late-night Thursdays offer an exclusive treat: the aptly named “Tini” Martini ($1), with a different flavor

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Cuisine > Nutrition

[ by Darin Schwinkendorf ]

DIETARY Supplements I want to talk about a popular topic that has brought forth many questions in my young nutritional career: dietary supplements. They are somewhat controversial in the nutrition world. Some nutritionists believe in them, while others do not. I, for one, believe in the use of some dietary supplements. However, many of them on the market today make outrageous claims backed by essentially no scientific evidence. Not only could this be a potential waste of money for the consumer, but also it raises safety issues, as limited research usually indicates little safety data. I have been exposed to a broad range of dietary supplements over my high school and college years, especially in the athletic arena. Let’s just say that most people believe everything they read and/or hear, regardless of any glimpse of proof to back up the claims. I am writing here to tell you about the five top dietary supplements I would recommend taking.

November 20–December 3, 2009

1 MULTIVITAMIN/MINERAL SUPPLEMENT

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Face the facts. Most of us do not eat healthy enough to get adequate amounts of each and every vitamin and mineral with diet alone. A daily multivitamin/mineral supplement provides those missing micronutrients, with no negative effects. They are also quite cheap. You do not need any fancy brand—a Target or Walmart brand will work almost just as well as the more expensive ones. This is a no-brainer.

2

FISH OIL Fish oil provides those essential omega-3 fatty acids that are absent or limited in most people’s diets. If you have read my

past columns, you should know that omega-3 fatty acids quickly are becoming the next “wonder-nutrient.” They are said to benefit just about any health parameter you can think of, including heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. The science is still young, but it is there. Any brand will do.

3

WHEY PROTEIN POWDER This is for those who need extra protein (e.g., avid exercisers, individuals eating little meat, etc.). Whey is one of the purest forms of protein, and its amino acid profile closely matches that of the human body. This means the human body can utilize it more efficiently than other sources of protein. Whey protein is great to mix with yogurt, oatmeal, or just about any other food with that “creamy” texture. When you compare the price of whey to that of meat, it is quite inexpensive. I recommend cheaper brands found at grocery stores, Costco, and Sam’s Club over the more expensive ones (e.g., GNC).

4

RESVERATROL Resveratrol is another one of those “doall” types of phytonutrients gaining much popularity in the scientific world. Although research is still young, resveratrol has been shown to aid heart health and increase longevity. I prefer to get mine the natural, old-fashioned way (i.e., wine), but for those who dislike wine or do not drink, a resveratrol supplement may be worth a try.

5

VITAMIN D Vitamin what? Yes, Vitamin D. Although it has been put on the back burner since initial discovery, it gradually has proven itself as one of the most critical vitamins. Unfortunately, this is also one of the more common nutritional deficiencies, especially in northern climates where the sun only shines a few months out of the year. Your body produces Vitamin D naturally when exposed to the sun, but we northerners do not get enough sun exposure to get our fill. Additionally, little Vitamin D is present in foods to satisfy our demand—with the exception of some dairy products. Science suggests that Vitamin D may help prevent heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and debilitating bone diseases such as osteoporosis. Given the relative lack of this vitamin in our northern climate, it may be a supplement to keep an eye on. These are my top five dietary supplement recommendations for the general public. However, certain habits or disease states may require alternative or additional supplements (e.g., Vitamin C for smokers, glucosamine for arthritis, Vitamin B12 for the elderly, etc.). In general, I am for a healthy diet providing all the nutrients you need. Yet, I also know we live in the real world, and rarely can get 100 percent of our nutrient needs with diet alone. Additionally, more than 100 percent of these nutrients most likely will do no harm to the body, so just make sure your body gets enough of each. Remember, lots of claims with little scientific evidence and little government regulation flood the dietarysupplement market. Do your own research before wasting your hard-earned money for nothing.

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Dining Guide Listing | AVERAGE PRICE OF A TYPICAL ENTREE $ LESS THAN $15, $$ $15-$25, $$$ MORE THAN $25

Our Guide to the Metro Eateries Featured in This Issue Lavender Magazine’s Dining Guide is your resource to GLBT-friendly restaurants. We recommend calling restaurants before visiting to confirm information. All bars, restaurants and private clubs have been smoke-free since Minnesota became the 20th state to pass a statewide smoke-free law on October 1, 2007. However, many restaurants may have a designated outdoor area for smoking. Lavender’s cuisine section and updated dining guide appears each issue. Please direct questions about the directory and cuisine advertising to [email protected].

BLACKBIRD $$ American Casually classic comfort foods, thoughtful beer & wine list. Lunch, Dinner, Weekend Breakfast 815 W. 50th St. Minneapolis, MN 55419 (612) 8234790 Mon – Fri: 11 AM – 10 PM • Sat: 8 AM – 2 PM, 5 PM – 10 PM • Sun: 8 AM – 2 PM

CECIL’S DELI $ Deli/Bakery We specialize in box lunches & deli trays! Anything on our menu can be made to go, just ask. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner 651 S. Cleveland, St. Paul (651) 698-6276 Deli: Mon – Sun 9 AM – 9 PM Restaurant: Mon – Sun 9 AM – 8 PM CROWNE PLAZA NORTHSTAR HOTEL $ -- $$ Bar/Grill Enjoy dining at either the Café Northstar or the Krona Lounge. Café Northstar: Breakfast, Lunch • Krona Lounge: Lunch, Dinner 618 2nd Ave. S., Minneapolis (612) 338-2288

THE GRANDVIEW GRILL $

November 20–December 3, 2009

American Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pancakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches. Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch 1818 Grand Ave., St. Paul (651) 698-2346 Mon – Fri: 6:15 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 6:15 AM – 3 PM • Sun: 8 AM – 3 PM

The Grandview Grill. Photo by Hubert Bonnet

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IT’S GREEK TO ME $ Greek Family-owned & run for over 25 years, we’ve treated generations of diners to our authentic menu & warm Greek hospitality. Dinner only weekdays, Lunch & Dinner on weekends 626 W. Lake St., Minneapolis (612) 825-9922 Tues – Fri: 4:30 PM – 11 PM • Sat: 11 AM – 11 PM • Sun: 11 AM – 10 PM KINDEE THAI $ Thai This isn’t your traditional everyday Thai restaurant. Lunch, Dinner 719 S. 2nd St., Minneapolis (612) 465-8303 Mon: Closed • Tues – Thurs: 11:30 AM – 9 PM • Fri: 11:30 AM – 10:30 PM • Sat: 11 AM – 10:30 PM • Sun: 11 AM – 9 PM THE LOUISIANA CAFÉ $ American Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pancakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches. Breakfast, Brunch, 613 Selby Ave., St. Paul (651) 221-9140 Mon – Fri: 6:30 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 6:30 AM – 3 PM • Sun: 8 AM – 3 PM

MANHATTANS $$ Classic, unpretentious American food Manhattans – great eats, great drinks, great service, great atmosphere. Dinner 800 LaSalle Plaza, Minneapolis (612) 339-3600 Mon – Thurs: 4 PM – 10:30 PM • Fri – Sat: 4 PM – 11 PM

MIDORI’S FLOATING WORLD CAFÉ $ Sushi, Tempuru Sushi, tempura, noodles, traditional, contemporary, home-styled specials, beer, wine, sake. Lunch, Dinner 3011 27th Ave. S., Minneapolis (612) 721-3011 Mon: Closed • Tues – Wed: 11:30 AM – 2 PM, 5 PM – 9 PM • Thurs – Fri: 11:30 AM – 2 PM, 5 PM – 10 PM • Sat: 12 noon – 2 PM, 5 – 10 PM • Sun: 4 PM – 8 PM

NEW UPTOWN DINER $ American Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pancakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches. Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch 2548 Hennepin Ave. S. Minneapolis (612) 874-0481 Mon – Wed: 6 AM – 3 PM • Thurs – Sat: 24 Hours • Sun: Close at 6 PM

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New Uptown Diner. Photo by Hubert Bonnet

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...

[Dining Guide]

PARASOLE RESTAURANT HOLDINGS Visit one of our many fine restaurants throughout the Twin Cities area: Manny’s Steakhouse, Chino Latino, Salut, Pittsburgh Blue, Figlio, Muffeletta, Good Earth and Burger Jones www.parasole.com

PARK TAVERN BOWLING & ENTERTAINMENT CENTER $ American 50 years of dining & entertainment – award winning food, groups up to 300. Weekend Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Late Night Daily 3401 Louisiana Ave., St. Louis Park (952) 929-6810 Mon – Fri: 10:30 AM – 12:30 AM • Sat – Sun: 9 AM – 12:30 AM

ROAT OSHA $$ Thai Uniquely crafted authentic and American influences. Decor that invites conversation Lunch, Dinner 2650 Hennepin Ave. S., Minneapolis Sat: 11 AM – 11 PM • Sun: 11 AM – 10:30 PM

Roat Osha. Photo by Hubert Bonnet

November 20–December 3, 2009

SAWATDEE – WASHINGTON AVE. $ Thai The 1st and only authentic Thai restaurant for over 25 years. Lunch, Dinner 607 Washington Ave. S., Minneapolis (612) 338-6451 Daily 11 AM – 9:30 PM

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SUSHI TANGO $$ Japanese Exciting and eccentric mix of Japanese cuisine and Uptown attitude. Lunch, Dinner Calhoun Square, (612) 822-7787 Mon – Wed: 5 PM – 1 AM • Thurs – Sun: Noon – 1 AM TIGER SUSHI $ Asian Fusion A bold fusion of flavors and cultures take you beyond traditional sushi. A hip vibe & exceptional chefs. MOA location: Lunch & Dinner 11 AM – 9:30 Daily (952) 876-9410 Lyn-Lake location: Daily Dinner, Weekend Lunch 2833 Lyndale Ave. S., Minneapolis (612) 8774-1800 Mon – Fri: 5 – 10:30 PM • Sat: Noon – 10:30 PM • Sun: Noon – 9:00 PM

The Network

Astrology__________ Barbers___________

Attorneys__________ Beauty & Relaxation_ Tiger Sushi. Photo by Hubert Bonnet TOAST WINE BAR AND CAFÉ $ Wine bar with Italian influence Neighborhood wine bar serving pizzas, cured meats and small plates. Dinner 415 N. 1st St., Minneapolis, MN (612) 333-4305 Tues – Thurs: 5 PM – 11 PM • Fri – Sat: 5 PM – 12 AM • Sun: 5 PM – 11 PM WILDE ROAST CAFÉ $ American Homemade, comfort food, outstanding desserts, beer, wine, espresso drinks. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner 518 E. Hennepin Ave. Minneapolis (612) 331-4544 Mon – Sat: 7 AM – 11 PM • Sun: 7 AM – 9 PM

THE WOODBURY CAFÉ $ American Fresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pancakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches. Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch Bielenberg & Tamarack, Woodbury, MN (651) 2098182 Mon – Fri: 7 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 7 AM – 3 PM • Sun: 8 AM – 3 PM

Chiropractors_______

ZEN FUSION RESTAURANT $ Asian Contemporary Authentic pan-Asian food with a contemporary French twist. Lunch, Dinner 3016 Lyndale Ave. S., Minneapolis (612) 822-8896 Sun – Thurs: 11 AM – 9 PM • Fri – Sat: 11 AM – 10 PM

Automotive_________

Zen Fusion Restaurant. Photo by Hubert Bonnet

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Computer_______ Sales & Services

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The Network

Event Planning______ Help Wanted_______

Financial Services___ Home Services______

November 20–December 3, 2009

Funeral Services___

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The Network Calendar | [ LavenderMagazine.com ]

Home Services______ Home Services______

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 21 A Christmas Carol. Join the Guthrie for its 35th annual production of Charles Dickens’s classic story of finding the joy of Christmas. Not to be missed is Peter Michael Goetz, returning for the ninth consecutive season as Ebenezer Scrooge. Through Dec. 31. Guthrie Theater, 818 S. 2nd St., Mpls. (612) 377-2224. <www.guthrietheater.org>.

A Christmas Carol. Photo by Michal Daniel

Out of this World. Join the Minnesota Freedom Band for a night of music and fun. Not only will the energy be cosmic, but also the band will be joined onstage by Lori Dokken and the Calliope Women’s Chorus. 7 PM. University Baptist Church, 1219 University Ave. SE, Mpls. <www.mnfreedomband.org>.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 24. IBEW Holiday Lights in the Park. Join this growing tradition, as the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers (IBEW) lights up Phalen Park nightly. Enjoy the spectacular array of more than 50 larger-than-life holiday-themed light sculptures and animated displays, and help raise funds for local charities. 5:30-10 PM. Through Dec. 31. Phalen Park, 1615 E. Phalen Dr., St. Paul. <www.ibewpros.org>.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 27 Mu Daiko. For the past 12 years, Twin Cities taiko ensemble Mu Daiko has journeyed through the roots of Japanese drumming, and brought that rich history to audiences. Through Dec. 6. The Southern Theater, 1420 Washington Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 340-1725. <www. southerntheater.org>.

In the Heights. Winner of four Tony Awards and a Grammy Award for Best Musical Show Album, In the Heights is making its Minnesota debut. Join a community on the brink of change, and full of hopes and dreams, as they sing, dance, and gyrate their way across the stage. Through Dec. 6. Orpheum Theatre, 910 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (800) 982-2787. <www.tick etmaster.com>.

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TUESDAY, DECEMBER 1

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The Network

__________ ... Home Services______ Insurance

[Calendar]

In the Heights. Photo by Joan Marcus

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 4 Afton Village Holiday. Celebrate the holidays in the quaint and picturesque town of Afton, as you enjoy complimentary horse and wagon rides, ice skating in the park, strolling carolers, Santa, and other activities for the kids. To top it all off, visit the unique shops and restaurants that Afton offers. Dec. 4, 5:30-8:30 PM. Dec. 5, 9 AM-5 PM; Dec. 6, 9 AM-4 PM. <www. Aftonholiday.com>.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 5

Pet Products & __________ Services Insurance__________

GLBT Book Sale. Join Quatrefoil Library for its annual Used GLBT Book Sale. With the weather becoming colder, nothing can beat snuggling up with a good book. With selections of paperbacks and hardcovers starting at just a dollar, this is a deal that shouldn’t be passed up. 1-4 PM. Quatrefoil Library, 1619 Dayton Ave., Ste. 105, St. Paul. (651) 641-0969. . Project 515 + Lush = Fun. Join Project 515 and Lush Food Bar, as they put on a fun evening of appetizers and drinks (perhaps a Five-fiftini). Project 515 Executive Director Laura Smidzik will give a short speech about everything the organization has achieved in the past year. 8-11 PM. Lush, 990 Central Ave. NE, Mpls.

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6 1850s Holiday Party. Ever wish to party like it was 1850 again? Enjoy refreshments, entertainment, and tours, while seeing what life was like. 12:30-3:30 PM. Ard Godfrey House, 28 University Ave. SE, Mpls. (612) 813-5300.

November 20–December 3, 2009

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 13

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Psychotherapy______

Ordway Circle of Stars 2009 Gala: Beauty and the Feast. Join Ordway in a unique and special night out. Experience the theater as it was meant to be—upclose and personal—as you enjoy exquisite food and entertainment. Mix and mingle with the cast of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, and attend the final dress rehearsal. This black-tie event will help raise funds to support the Ordway and its educational programs. 5 PM. Ordway Center for the Performing Arts, 345 Washington St., St. Paul. (651) 282-3006. <www.Ordway.org>.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 15 Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. The classic tale of finding hidden beauty inside is coming live to the Ordway. Watch as the hideous beast is transformed into a prince through the power of love. Through Jan 3. Ordway Center for the Performing Arts, 345 Washington St., St. Paul. (651) 224-4222. <www.Ordway.org>.

The Network TICKETS ON SALE

TICKETS ON SALE Dreamgirls. Direct from the world famous Apollo Theatre in New York City, the dream of making it big in this rags-to-riches story of a 1960s Motown girl group comes to Minneapolis, complete with onstage joy and backstage drama. Jan. 12-17. Orpheum Theatre, 910 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (800) 982-2787. <www. ticketmaster.com>. Mamma Mia! The best-selling, Abba-filled musical is hitting the stage. The feel-good show tells the story of a mother, a daughter, and her three possible fathers. What could possibly go wrong? Mar. 9-14. Orpheum Theatre, 910 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (800) 982-2787. <www.ticketmaster.com>. The Wizard of Oz. The Yellow Brick Road is leading to Minneapolis, as Dorothy and her faithful friends take a trip to the great and powerful Wizard. This production is bound to blow you away from the moment the tornado touches down, and takes you to the dazzling art deco Oz. Mar. 26-28. Orpheum Theatre, 910 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (800) 982-2787. <www.tick etmaster.com>.

Home Services______

Real Estate______

ONGOING Ongoing Brett Favre’s Christmas Spectacular: The Immaculate Interception. Retail stores have told us it’s that time of the year again: Christmas in November (minus the other holiday that doesn’t matter, because you don’t spend thousands of dollars on it). In the holiday spirit, Brave New Workshop is back with its wonderful Christmas tale, and Minnesota-style, it stars Brett Favre! (Not really, but we always can dream.) Through Jan. 30. Brave New Workshop, 2605 Hennepin Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 332-6620. <www.bravenewworkshop.com>.

Grease. The rockin’, free-wheeling musical that took the world by storm in the ’70s is back, ready to have a new generation fall in love with “bad boy” Danny and “girl next door” Sandy. Direct from Broadway, this version includes songs from both the original play and the 1978 movie version for the first time. Through Nov. 22. Orpheum Theatre, 910 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (800) 982-2787. <www.hennepintheatredistrict.org>. The Great American Trailer Park Musical. Campy doesn’t even begin to describe this musical, set in an exclusive mobile home community—Armadillo Acres—in Florida. All hell breaks loose when a stripper comes between an agoraphobic housewife and her tollbooth-collecting husband. Making this musical complete is a chorus of Greek trailer park divas. Through Nov. 22. Illusion Theater, 528 Hennepin Ave. (612) 399-4944. <www.aboutmmt.org>.

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Brett Favre’s Christmas Spectacular: The Immaculate Interception.. Photo Courtesy of Brave New Workshop

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Community Connection Community Connection brings visibility to local GLBT-friendly non-profit organizations. To reserve your listing in Community Connection, call 612-436-4698 or email advertising@ lavendermagazine.com.

Addiction Info & Treatment

Hazelden Providing comprehensive treatment, recovery solutions. Helping people reclaim their lives from the disease of addiction. P.O. Box 11 15251 Pleasant Valley Rd Center City, MN (800) 257-7800 www.hazelden.org

AIDS/HIV Information & Treatment

Aliveness Project, The Community Center for Individuals Living with HIV/AIDS -- On-site Meals, Food Shelf and Supportive Services. 730 East 38th St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 824-LIFE (5433) www.aliveness.org HIM Program One of the Red Door Services of the Hennepin County Public Health Clinic. 525 Portland Ave. 4th Floor Minneapolis, MN (612) 348-9100 www.himprogram.org www.StopSyphilisNOW.org www.CrystalClearMN.org www.inSPOT.org/Minnesota MAP AIDSline MAP AIDSLine is the confidential statewide toll-free HIV information and referral service. 1400 Park Ave. Minneapolis, MN (612) 373-AIDS (metro) or (800) 248-AIDS (statewide) [email protected] www.mnaidsproject.org Park House Day Health / Mental Health Treatment Program for Adults Living with HIV/AIDS. 710 E. 24th Street, Suite 303 Minneapolis, MN (612) 871-1264 www.allina.com/ahs/anw.nsf/page/ park_house_home U of MN Research Studies Looking for HIV+ and HIV- individuals to participate in research studies. 420 Delaware Street SE Minneapolis, MN 55455 612-625-7472 WEB ADDRESS

November 20–December 3, 2009

Art Galleries

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Minneapolis Institute of Arts Enjoy Masterpieces From All Over The World And Every Period Of Human History. Free Admission Daily! 2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN (612) 870-3000 www.artsmia.org

Education

Minnesota Online Highschool Get ready for college and life with a supportive, online, public school that fits you 1313 5 Street, SE, Suite 227 Minneapolis, MN 55414 Phone: 1-800-764-8166 x 111 Fax: 1-866-586-2870 Website: www.mnohs.org

Events

Minnesota AIDS Trek Annual Bike Trek To Benefit Top Shelf, AIDS Care Partners, Camp Benedict, UCLA Vaccine Program. 3017 York Ave. N. Robbinsdale, MN (763) 522-8067 [email protected] www.aids-trek.org Red Ribbon Ride Four-day Bike Ride in July Benefiting Eight HIV/AIDS Service Organizations in Minnesota. 4457 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN (612) 822-2110 www.redribbonride.org

Fitness

YWCA of Minneapolis Healthy Me. Healthy Community. Co-ed, full-service health clubs. Locations in Downtown, Midtown and Uptown 2808 Hennepin Avenue South Minneapolis, MN 55408 (612) 874-7131 www.ywcampls.org

Health Services

GLBTCALLITQUITS.COM If you're ready to quit smoking, we're here to support you. 1-866-434-9736 Rainbow Health Initiative A coalition reducing the impact of tobacco use through mini-grants, education, and community events. 41 N. 12th St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 252-1222 www.rainbowhealth.org

Historical

Minnesota Historical Society The best of Minnesota comes to life with fun, hands-on exhibits and signature programs. 345 Kellogg Blvd W., St. Paul, MN (651) 259-3000 www.mnhs.org/historycenter

Media & Communications Minnesota Public Radio Providing in depth news coverage, classical music and emerging artists on our three regional services. (651) 290-1212 www.mpr.org

Radio K 770 Radio K is the award-winning student-run radio station of the University of Minnesota 330 21st Ave. S. 610 Rarig Center University of Minnesota Minneapolis, MN 55455 (612) 625-3500 www.radiok.org

Performing Arts

Ballet of the Dolls Resident Company of Newly Renovated Ritz Theater. Twin Cities first year-round dance-theater program. 35 13th Ave. NE Minneapolis, MN (612) 623-7660 www.balletofthedolls.org Brazen Theatre Plays, Musicals, Cabaret and Other Entertainment for Adventurous Audiences. See Individual Ads for Venue (414) 248-6481 www.brazentheatre.org

Guthrie Theater Come On In! Performances, Classes, Dining, Tours. 818 South 2nd St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 377-2224 www.guthrietheater.org Hennepin Theatre Trust Orpheum, State and Pantages Theatres Twin Cities’ best live entertainment: Broadway shows, music concerts, comedy, dance and more! Minneapolis, MN (612) 673-0404 www.HennepinTheatreDistrict.org Illusion Theater Nationally Renowned For Developing Artists and New Work While Sparking Conversation About Challenging Human Issues. 528 Hennepin Ave., #704 Minneapolis, MN (612) 339-4944 www.illusiontheater.org Jungle Theater Professional theater producing contemporary and classic works in an intimate setting in the Lynlake neighborhood. 2951 Lyndale Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN (612) 822-7063 www.JungleTheater.com Minneapolis Musical Theatre “Giving Voice to the Human Experience” New and Rarely-Seen Musicals. 8520 W. 29th St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 605-3298 www.aboutmmt.org

Park Square Theatre Creating entertainment that matters; transporting you to unique worlds through exceptional talent and masterful stories. 20 West Seventh Pl. Saint Paul, MN (651) 291-7005 www.parksquaretheatre.org Theater Latté Da Exploring And Expanding The Art of Musical theater Under The Artistic Direction of Peter Rothstein. Minneapolis, MN 612-339-3003 www.latteda.org Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus An award-winning chorus that builds community through music and offers entertainment worth coming out for! 528 Hennepin Ave., Suite 307 Minneapolis, MN (612) 339-SONG (7664) [email protected] www.tcgmc.org University of Minnesota Theatre Arts and Dance Educating artists and audiences through a diverse mix of performances on both land and water. U of M Theatre 330 21st Ave S, Minneapolis, MN (612) 624-2345 www.theatre.umn.edu

Pets

Animal Humane Society Buffalo: (763) 390-3647 Coon Rapids: (763) 862-4030 Golden Valley: (763) 522-4325 St. Paul: (651) 645-7387 Woodbury: (651) 730-6008 www.animalhumanesociety.org

Minnesota Opera America’s Most Exciting Opera Company Now Has a New GLBTA Group “Out at the Opera!” 620 N. First St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 342-9550 www.mnopera.org

Politics & Rights

Minnesota Orchestra Led by Music Director Osmo Vänskä, the Minnesota Orchestra, one of America’s leading symphony orchestras. 1111 Nicollet Mall Minneapolis, MN (612) 371-5656 (800) 292-4141 www.minnesotaorchestra.org

OutFront Minnesota Delivering programs / services in the area of public policy, anti-violence, education and training, and law. 310 E. 38th St., Ste. 204 Minneapolis, MN (612) 822-0127 www.outfront.org

Northrop Presenting world-class entertainment in the heart of the Twin Cities. 84 Church St. SE Minneapolis, MN 55455 Business Office: 612-625-6600 Ticket Office: 612-624-2345 northrop.umn.edu

Midtown Global Market An internationally-themed public market with over 40 independent vendors offering the finest selection of produce, meats, delicacies, prepared foods, grocery items, unique gifts and services from around the world. 920 E. Lake St. Suite G.10 Minneapolis, MN (612) 872-4041

One Voice Mixed Chorus Passionate about building community and creating social change by raising our voices in song. 732 Holly Ave. Ste. Q Saint Paul, MN (651) 298-1954 www.ovmc.org [email protected] Ordway Center for the Performing Arts Serving our community through hosting, presenting, creating performing arts and educational programs enriching diverse audiences. 345 Washington St. St. Paul, MN (651) 224-4222 www.ordway.org

Human Rights Campaign Advocates for all GLBT Americans, mobilizes grassroots action, invests strategically to elect fair-minded individuals. P.O. Box 50608 Minneapolis, MN www.twincities.hrc.org www.hrc.org

Public Market

Religious & Spiritual

All God’s Children Metropolitan Community Church All inclusive, welcoming Christian church founded by and for GLBT people and their allies. 3100 Park Ave. Minneapolis, MN (612) 824-2673 www.agcmcc.org Edina Community Lutheran Church Upbeat, growing congregation committed to inclusion, justice, peace, community and proclaiming God’s YES to all. 4113 W. 54th St. Edina, MN (952) 926-3808 www.eclc.org

Community Connection Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Church Take a Spiritual Journey With Hennepin’s Faith Community Through Worship, Education, Fellowship, Service, and More. 511 Groveland Ave. Minneapolis, MN (612) 871-5303 www.haumc.org Mayflower Community Congre-gational United Church of Christ An open and affirming, peace with justice church welcomes you. 106 E. Diamond Lake Rd. (I-35 & Diamond Lake Rd.) Minneapolis, MN (612) 824-0761 www.mayflowermpls.org Mount Olive Lutheran Church Ours is a welcoming parish, rich in music, liturgy and opportunities to serve the community. 3045 Chicago Ave. Minneapolis, MN (612) 827-5919 www.mountolivechurch.org Plymouth Congregational Church, Minneapolis A Beacon of Liberal Theology. Progressive Christianity, Traditional Setting & Service, Social Action, The Arts & Music. 1900 Nicollet Ave. at Franklin Minneapolis, MN (612) 871-7400 www.plymouth.org Spirit of Hope An Independent Catholic community At our table, all are welcome. Mass at 5 PM Saturday evening. Fr. Marty Shanahan. Worship at: St. Anne’s Episcopal Church 2035 Charlton Rd Sunfish Lake, MN www.spiritofhopecatholiccommunity.org St. Mark’s Episcopal Cathedral Wherever you are on your faith journey... St. Mark’s Welcomes You. 519 Oak Grove St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 870-7800 www.ourcathedral.org

Social Organizations Imperial Court of Minnesota P.O. Box 582417 Minneapolis, MN www.impcourtmn.com

Student/Campus/Alumni

Minnesota GLBTA Campus Alliance A statewide alliance of students, staff, faculty, alumni, and community members uniting for campus change. 2136 Ford Parkway #131 St. Paul, MN (612) 730-8541 www.mncampusalliance.org

Travel

Palm Springs Bureau of Tourism America's Gay Oasis is Beautiful Palm Springs. www.palm-springs.org Visit Minneapolis North Convention & Visitors Bureau We take pride in helping individuals find the ideal location for events & celebrations. 6200 Shingle Creek Parkway, Suite 248, Minneapolis, MN 55430 763.566.7722 / 800.541.4364 www.visitminneapolisnorth.com

Women’s Services

Womyn Unlimited Minnesota A Minnesota based non-profit grassroots philanthropic organization by, of, and for a diverse community of women. Rose Hart (612) 250-0119 www.womynunlimitedmn.org

Youth

District 202 District 202 provides social, cultural and educational opportunities for GLBT youth ages 21 and under. www.dist202.org

St. Luke Presbyterian Church We’re a Joyful, Compassionate Commmunity on a Spiritual Journey, Seeking Justice and Peace. Join Us. 3121 Groveland School Rd. Wayzata, MN (952) 473-7378 www.stlukeweb.org University Lutheran Church of Hope Reconciling Congregation - All Are Welcome. Social Justice Opportunities. Strong University Links Questioning Encouraged. Great Music. 601 13th Ave. SE Minneapolis, MN (612) 331-5988 www.ulch.org Westminster Presbyterian Church A Covenant Network Congregation, Working Toward a Church as Generous and Just as God’s Grace. Nicollet Mall at 12th St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 332-3421 www.ewestminster.org Wingspan Ministry + PASTORAL CARE + EDUCATION + WITNESS + ADVOCACY + Outreach of St. Paul-Reformation Church to the GLBTQA Community. 100 N. Oxford St. St. Paul, MN (651) 224-3371 www.stpaulref.org Man2Man An Interactive Seminar Where Guys Talk To Each Other About Sex, Dating, and Being Gay/Bi. University of Minnesota Minneapolis, MN (612) 626-7187 www.epi.umn.edu/m2m

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Sexuality

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Classifieds Employment

Employment

Home Services

Real Estate

ALEXANDER’S PAINTING is a full service company, including light carpentry. We offer the highest quality of work at affordable rates. Please call Alex for your estimate. (651) 246-2869. Current Affairs Electric, Inc. Full Service Electricians, Personalized Service, Affordable Rates, Prompt Response. License #CA05093, Bonded, Insured, Commercial, Residential. Twin Cities Metro, MN. Sahir: (612) 817-9213, Carl: (612) 220-6273. www. currentaffairselectricinc.com.

WEST BLOOMINGTON TOWNHOME $365,900, 2 BR, 2.5 BA, quiet, open, FP, with vaults. Southern exposure w/ wooded rear deck. New SS appliances, close to bus. (612) 518-0676. Full info at www.OakPointeCurve. com/L.

House Cleaning TWO FACULTY OPENINGS in the Dept. of Social Work at the University of WisconsinEau Claire, beginning August 23, 2010. Appointments range from Clinical Instructor to Associate Professor, depending on qualifications. MSW from a CSWE-accredited program with two years of fulltime post-MSW social work employment required; Ph.D. required for appointment as assistant or associate professor (ABDs must complete by June 1, 2011). Priority deadline is December 15, 2009. Visit our website: http://www. uwec.edu/acadaff/jobs/faculty/index.htm for application procedures or call 7(15) 836-4435. UW-Eau Claire is an Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity employer.

Events

The Maids Home Services gives you the healthiest, most thorough housecleaning, guaranteed! Supervised teams, bonded, insured, environmentally safe cleaning products are why Nobody Outcleans The Maids.® Free estimates (952) 929-6243. www. maids.com. CLEANING MASTER INC. - 12 years experience. Homes, offices, clinics. Daily, weekly, bi weekly, event or monthly. Thorough, professional, responsible & honest. BBB member. (612) 521-9658.

Psychotherapy ROSS AALGAARD, MDiv, MSW, LGSW. Transforming mind & spirit. Individual, couples, family, group therapy at 1200 Marquette Ave, Minneapolis. Contact (612) 332-7743 x235, [email protected]. Visit: www.westminstercounseling.org.

Rentals-Residential GORGEOUS LOFT, AMAZING DOWNTOWN VIEW - 2 BR, 2 BA in GLBTfriendly building on Eat Street. Featuring: custom granite, SS appliances, surroundsound, fireplace, W/D, balcony, free DSL, outside common, heated parking, storage. Near bus and Greenway. $1950/mo. Call, (708) 790-4083.

Roommates Bedroom for rent in private home, South Minneapolis. Furnished. Includes cable and house privileges. Available now. Smoke, alcohol & drug free. $350/month plus $350 deposit. Call Wayne: (612) 823-5440. Share 3 BR quiet S. Mpls home with 2 guys. Carpeted upper bedroom, busline, hardwood floors, cable, internet, laundry, Nice walkable neighborhood. No smoking/pets. $300 + 1/3 utilities & deposit. (612) 866 2339. ROOMMATE WANTED - Share 3-story home in Bryn Mawr. Private room, updated kitchen & bathrooms, 3rd floor workout/ studio, summer outdoor living area, off-street parking, cable & internet. Available 12/01/09. $500 +. (612) 377-9670. Roommate wanted for home in Nokomis area. Clean, hardwood floors, fireplace, new washer, dryer & stainless steel appliances, cable and internet. House is on busline and close to light rail, park and tennis courts. Avail 12/1. Bedroom - $450/month. (612) 801-5645.

Spa Services The Tranny Factory @ The Spa. Complete Makeovers for Men becoming Women. [email protected]. (612) 986-4929. Private-Supportive-Affordable makeup-nailswardrobe-hair-waxing.

November 20–December 3, 2009

Therapeutic Massage

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Health/Fitness

Psychotherapy

501 FIT. Strength with Class. Improve your life. Fun, Effective and Affordable Strength Training Classes. Try “1” Class for FREE! 501 Washington Ave. S. 3rd Fl., Minneapolis, MN. (612) 767-4415. www.501fit.com.

IRENE GREENE, MSEd, Psychotherapist: 24 years experience. Individual, Couples Counseling, Mediation. Life changes, relationship, gender, sexuality, parenting, anger, anxiety, depression. Coming Out, Sexual Abuse, DID Groups. Sliding fee. Professional, nonjudgmental, confidential. (612) 874-6442. [email protected].

GOT ME? I’ll do your body good. Swedish, Deep Tissue, Shiatsu & Tui Na. Downtown location. In/Out. Call anytime. Kurt, CMT: (612) 338-3329. FULL BODY DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE. Relax & Unwind from Head to Toe. Private S. Mpls Studio. Music, Candles, Jacuzzi, Full Bath. In/Out Calls. 7 days. 10am - 10pm. (612) 388-8993, Keith. STRONG & RELAXING hands, resulting in bodywork at its best! Bruck, MT, DC in South Minneapolis @ (612) 306-6323. EXPERIENCED LICENSED MASSAGE THERAPIST: Downtown Minneapolis Location: Swedish, Deep Tissue, Sport, Reflexology Massage: 8am-10pm daily: Call: 612-353-4408 for an appointment. FULL BODY MASSAGE. Warm relaxing atmosphere, Minneapolis. Hour Massage $60.00. Shower Available. (612) 219-6743. 7 days a week, 10 am - 10 pm. Therapist: 5'10, 167#, 32 waist. BEHAVIORS MASSAGE - Graeme Sterling - Integrated massage/bodywork. Rejuvenate your body - Relax your mind. Promoting healthy lifestyles through massage for over 8 years. New Franklin Mansion private studio. 10% off 1st visit. (763) 807-6686.

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LavenderMagazine.com

Ms. Behavior© | [ by Meryl Cohn ]

Sick Of Vampires Dear Ms. Behavior: My girlfriend, Cara, is obsessed with vampires. She watches a vampire TV show and a teenybopper vampire movie over and over. I think she has a sexual fetish about the whole thing. I wish she’d turn her energy toward me, or at least spend her time looking for a job, or pitching in around the house. She’s defensive about it. Sometimes, when we’re running late to go out and meet friends, because she’s watching her movie (again), I complain. But then, Cara just refuses to go out at all, and I end up having to go alone. I secretly suspect that she does it on purpose, so she can stay home, and watch more. It seems like some sort of addiction, but I don’t even know if that’s possible. What do you think? —Sick Of Vampires

November 20–December 3, 2009

Dear Sick Of Vampires:

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OK, maybe watching vampire movies isn’t a hobby that you want to cultivate, but try not to act too critical of Cara’s obsession, if only because your disdain just will make it easier for her to pull away. This doesn’t mean that you should support her habit—don’t bring her snacks or rub her toes while she watches the bloodsucking videos—but try to achieve an attitude of neutral detachment. At first, detachment is hard to grasp. It doesn’t mean doling out punishing silence, but rather, going on with your life, avoiding throwing dishes, or setting fire to your hair to get the attention of the person who is absorbed otherwise. It sounds like Cara really is using the movies and television to separate herself from her life right now. And, yes, it’s crappy that she’s shirking her responsibilities, and using vampires to escape. You haven’t mentioned how long Cara has been caught up in her obsession, but regardless of whether her attraction to vampires is a fetish, it sounds like she’s avoidant and depressed.

Adult > Classifieds So, what can you do? Well, because you can’t prescribe Lexapro or Wellbutrin on your own, you can try to get Cara to a therapist. If she’s too immobilized to go, at least attempt to get her into couple’s therapy with you, which is sometimes a back door into individual therapy. If all else fails, try biting Cara’s neck to get her attention.

Massage YUM!!! Very Sexy, Attractive, Affectionate, Talented! ••• Warm Soothing Bubble Bath ••• Incredible Full Body Massage ••• Lots of Uninhibited XXX Fun ••• Peppermint Hot Towel Treatment •••• Get Pampered and Have Fun! Kevin, (612) 229-0001.

HI GUYS -- 5'9", 175# hairy-chested masseur gives great sensual erotic massage. Pro-trained, intuitive, responsive. Many repeats. Noon10pm, 7 days. Gene, (612) 749-7726. Thanks!

Before you book your next male massage appointment, make sure to read the reviews at www.MassageM4M. com/Minneapolis to find the best male massage therapist. See photos and browse over 1,000 male massage therapists online.

Dear Ms. Behavior: I’m in my first year at college. I still am seeing my boyfriend, Rafe, who lives about an hour away. Lately, his father, John, e-mails me, and sends me messages on Facebook. I feel like the guy is flirting with me, and I always have liked him. How can I find out if this is real? I don’t want to ruin things with Rafe if his father only is playing with my head. Should I just come out and ask him what he has in mind? —Joe

No, you shouldn’t ask Rafe’s father what he has in mind, because if he says, “Nothing—what do you mean?” you’ll feel like an idiot, and if it’s something else, like, “I want to lick your body from head to toe,” you can’t do it. Technically, perhaps, you could sign up for licking, bondage, blow jobs, or whatever tawdry act Rafe’s padre might be conjuring in his mind (or at least in yours), but it would be inadvisable. If Rafe’s father really means to seduce you, he’s enacting aggression toward his son, and you’re just the vehicle for that. In terms of your responsibility, pursuing Rafe’s father is probably the sneakiest and crappiest thing you can do to Rafe. If there’s only one take-away from this column, at least remember this: Whether you believe in monogamy, God or Freud, Passover or Hell, or karma or Martians, it is always a mistake to sleep with your boyfriend’s (or girlfriend’s) relative. If you really need to ask why (and surely someone will), it’s because it’s confusing, melodramatic, and twisted. No matter how hot it may seem, it’s ultimately profoundly disturbing. Of course, such behavior is the foundation of cautionary literary myths and icky incestuous reality shows, but in your own precious little life, you don’t want to go there. © 2009 Meryl Cohn. Address questions and correspondence to <[email protected]>. She is the author of Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton Mifflin). Signed copies are available directly from the author.

LavenderMagazine.com

Dear Joe:

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Adult > Classifieds

November 20–December 3, 2009

Adult Chat

72

Yellow Pages > Advertiser Index Communications

1-800-GayLive .............................. 71 Déjà Vu .......................................... 72 Dream Girls ................................... 69 Hennepin Avenue Adult Boutique......................................... 69 Interactive Male ............................ 70, 72 Megaphone .................................. 72 Squirt-PressNet .............................. 72

Radio K .......................................... 67

Apparel & Accessories A Treasury of ................................. 23 jb hudson JEWELERS .................... 3 STYLEDLIFE -styledlook................. 21

Optical

DeskTech ....................................... 61

University of Minnesota-Anxiety Research Department ................... 62 University of Minnesota-Infectious Diseases......................................... 37 Vader, Kathy.................................. 65

Duluth-Superior

Home Services

Pet Products & Services

The Flame Nightclub .................... 13 Glensheen Mansion-The Historic Congdon Estate ............................ 13 The Main Club .............................. 13 Sheraton Duluth Hotel .................. 13

A-Z Electric ................................... 63 Bauer Floor Covering ................... 64 Bluestem Construction .................. 62 Bretts True Quality Homes ........... 63 Elegant Expressions ...................... 63 Good Stuff Moving ...................... 63 Halet Remodeling & Renovations ................................... 62 Hopkins Carpet One .................... 35 Jeff’s SOS Drain & Sewer Services ......................................... 33 MAGIC Painting Company ......... 63 Matt’s Tree Service ....................... 63 Personal Pride Construction ......... 64 R. Davis Construction, Inc. ........... 64 Ryan’s Tree Care .......................... 63 Sage Building & Remodeling ...... 63 Skalski’s Woodworking Co. ....... 63 Soderlin Plumbing, Heating & Air Conditioning ......... 63 Solum Fine Flooring ...................... 63 SOS Homecare ............................ 62 The Tile Shop ................................ 33 Todd the Plumber .......................... 63 Twin City Heating and Air............ 60 Universal Windows Direct ........... 63 Your Style Tile & Granite ............. 64

Animal Humane Society ............. 29 Cat Nap Inn .................................. 64 Pampered Pooch Playground ...... 64

Computer & Internet

Events Lavender First Thursdays .............. 19

Arts & Entertainment Ballet of the Dolls .......................... 36 Bodies The Exhibition ................... 38 Hennepin Theatre Trust ............... 39 Illusion Theater ............................. 38 Lavender Night at the Theatre ..... 39 Park Square Theatre .................... 39 Trones, John ................................... 19

Financial Boyer, Daniel................................. 62 Moltaji, Roya ................................. 7 Palm, Karen ................................... 9 ROR Tax Professionals.................. 7 Wells Fargo Bank ......................... 9

Floral & Garden Automotive

Tangletown Gardens .................... 35

Hagen’s Auto Body ...................... 61 LaMettry’s Collision ...................... 7 Morrie’s Mazda ........................... 8

Funeral Services

Bars & Clubs Bar Advertiser Guide ................... 40 19 Bar ............................................ 51 Brass Rail ....................................... 44 Camp ............................................. 50 Club Metro .................................... 49 Gay 90’s ...................................... 42, 43, 75 Gladius .......................................... 48 LUSH Food Bar ............................. 50 Minneapolis Eagle/Bolt ............... 46 Rumours/Innuendo ....................... 51 Saloon ........................................... 45 Spin ................................................ 53 Tickles ............................................ 52 Town House ................................. 47 Zeno ............................................... 53

Beauty & Relaxation Anew Aesthetic Medical Center . 23 Barbers on Bryant ......................... 61 City Looks Salons.......................... 61 Garden of Eden ............................ 27 Homme by Maric Group ............. 23 Juventus MedSpa & Laser Center .................................. 39 SKIN Medical Spa ....................... 17

Beverages Budweiser ...................................... 76 Miller Lite ....................................... 41

Catering Crowne Plaza Northstar Hotel.... 2

Funeral Consult ............................. 62 Johnson Hannah, Barbara ........... 62

Gifts Eye of Horus.................................. 61 Fantasy Gifts ................................. 21

Grocery Stores Wedge Co-op ............................... 57

Health, Wellness & Recovery 3 Bears Chiropractic .................... 61 Avenues of Health ........................ 32 BioScrip Pharmacy ....................... 5 Burns, Steve ................................... 8 Carrillo, Dr. Thomas P. .................. 65 Christian, Dennis V. 64 Complete Body ............................. 17 Fitness Together ............................ 52 Frederick, Ron ............................... 65 Heffelfinger, Kate .......................... 65 Heteroflexible Therapy................. 65 HIM Program ................................ 12, 34 inSPOT ........................................... 31 Laser Body Sculpture .................... 17 Latitudes-Meridian Behavioral Health ........................ 8 Mayfield Chiropractic .................. 9 Minnesota AIDS Project ............................................ 4 North Suburban Eye Specialists . 11 O’Hara, Paul ................................. 65 Pride Institute ................................. 52 QuitPlan ......................................... 60 Stechmann, Dr. Fred ..................... 65 Stolz, James................................... 65

Insurance American Family Insurance.......... 31 Baldwin, Davina ........................... 64 Wagner Insurance-Financial Services ......................................... 64 Whitesong, Therese ...................... 64 Wolfson, Steve .............................. 64

Jewelry Custom Jewelry ............................. 21 Max’s ............................................ 27 T Lee Fine Designer Jewelry ........ 19

Legal Bohn & Associates ........................ 61 Cloutier & Brandl .......................... 19 Dean, Jeff ...................................... 5 Dunlap Law Office ....................... 12 Heltzer & Burg .............................. 29 Hoffner Law Firm .......................... 7 Moshier, Becky ............................. 9 Pierce Richards Law Office .......... 61 Terry, Slane, Ruohonen ............... 7

Specs Appeal................................ 17

Organizations The Aliveness Project .................... 27

Real Estate & Rentals Batterson, Budd............................. 32 Bowman, Jennifer.......................... 65 Calfee, David 65 Launert, Malinda .......................... 13 Leviton, Ann ................................... 65 Marquette Place and One Ten Grant.............................................. 10 McGee, Michael .......................... 33 Minneapolis Grand Apartments . 5 New Home Store Realty .............. 35 Richardson, Beth ........................... 9 Rossom, Lynn ................................. 65 Ruzick, Amy & Johnson, Kay ....... 34, 65 Stevenson, Scott ............................ 11 Walker, Nancy ............................. 65

Restaurants Blackbird ....................................... 58 Bon Vie Café ................................. 62 Cecil’s Deli .................................... 59 Crowne Plaza Northstar Hotel.... 2 It’s Greek To Me ........................... 58 KinDee Thai Restaurant ................ 59 Louisiana Café .............................. 62 Manhattan’s Restaurant & Bar .... 53 Midori’s Floating World Café ..... 57 Paisano’s Pizza and Hot Hoagies ......................................... 62 Parasole Restaurants..................... 25 Park Tavern Bowling & Entertainment Center .................... 57 Roat Osha ..................................... 59 Sawatdee Thai .............................. 58 Selby Avenue Restaurants............ 62 Sushi Tango ................................... 59 Tiger Sushi ..................................... 57 Toast Wine Bar & Café ................ 57 Uptown Diner/Calhoun Grill/ Louisiana Café/Grandview Grill 58 W.A. Frost ...................................... 62 Wilde Roast Café ......................... 58 Zen Restaurant .............................. 57

Sports & Recreation Above The Falls Sports................. 33

Travel & Accommodations Mortgage Gleason, Pat .................................. 52 Lozinski, David ............................. 34

Crowne Plaza Northstar Hotel.... 2

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Adult

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Backtalk > Consider the Source

[ by Julie Dafydd ]

Holy Cow! M

appears to be a rather large Holstein. No problem, so far. You see, where my brother lives, it’s kind of like Venice Beach meets the 4-H. It’s not at all unusual to see people rollerblading with their goats, jogging with potbelly pigs, or babbling incoherently to a gaggle of geese So, I’m not fazed. But then, I see this woman—and her cow—go into a model home. You know, the kind they decorate really nicely to distract you from the fact that the mortgage will probably bankrupt you, or at best leave you with enough money to maybe put a couple of beanbags on layaway. My first thought was: I wouldn’t really mind being abducted by aliens. Chances are it would get me out of doing my homework, and I have to think that light years convert to massive frequent-flier miles. Maybe they take a few specimens, and ask a few questions, such as: • Why did they allow Kathy Bates to do a nude scene in About Schmidt? • Is Michael Jackson’s This Is It out on Blu-Ray yet? • Where might we get tickets to see our fellow alien, Lady GaGa, in concert? Geez, I have to learn to focus. Remember: cow, expensive furnishings, nasty carpet stains. So, what should I do? I have to assume it’s unwise to start trouble with someone accompanied by a thousand-pound pet. For all I know, it could be trained to attack. One false move, and I’m Bossy’s in-between-meal snack.

Or it could be one of those radical farm animals—the kind that will stampede your house if they even suspect you own as much as a pair of leather shoelaces. Besides, there could be any number of logical explanations. This is the country, after all. Maybe cattle can become licensed real estate agents. I’ve certainly met plenty who are full of bull…well, who were bovine-like. It could be that this woman just bought the house, and is doing the required walkthrough, accompanied by her keen-eyed, cud-chewing assistant. Or, maybe she is considering buying the house, and brought along a psychic cow: One moo for “The house has good vibes”; two moos for “Do you remember the movie Poltergeist?”. Of course, it’s equally possible she’s the lunatic leader of the lawless Guernsey gang that has been stomping through model homes from here to Wisconsin. But whom to call? The police? The animal shelter? State board of real estate brokers? Land O’Lakes? After much thought, I did what seems to be the standard new-century response in such should-I-or-should-I-not-get involved situations. I caught it all on my video cell phone contraption. Now, where’s that number for TMZ? Well, hell, why not? And, of course, consider the source. Bye for now. Kiss, kiss.

November 20–December 3, 2009

any situations in life are clear-cut. You know exactly what to do. Let’s say, for example, you’re a professional athlete. Your job, which is basically part-time, essentially involves a lot of standing around, scratching, and spitting. For this, you are paid on average $1.5 million a year. Of course, no one should endure such oppressive conditions. That poor Brett Favre! You have no choice other than to go out on strike. Hardly a tough call. Or, say you’re the leader of a major world power. Things aren’t going all that well, though. There may even be talk of replacing you with a fellow named Gump. It’s probably just the ploy of embittered partisans. But the Democrats are rumored to be working on a plan as well. Again, an easy decision. With renewed resolve, you plant your feet firmly in, uh, the sand on the Hawaiian vacation. Unfortunately, many other situations aren’t so black-and-white. I found myself in such a circumstance just the other day. Actually, the situation was black-andwhite—at least the cow was. Here’s what happened: I leave the standard note for my college professors: “Have been abducted by aliens, again.” Then, I dash off to my brother’s house in Stacy for what I hope will be at least a few hours of peace and quiet. So, there I am, becoming one with a lounge chair, when I see this woman walking what

Boss, I don’t like this at all!

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I protest!

What would happen if one of my fans mistook me for the inflatable Trolín?