Jaden Ray Narrative Draft 2

Ray 1 Jaden Ray Ms. Wilson First period Feb. 28 Finding Myself It started in October, the day before Halloween. I ended my relationship with my boyfriend. We dated for 10 months, and the relationship was healthy until the last few months. We went through a lot of issues, and our arguments always seemed to end up breaking me down and building him up. He struggled with a lot of anger, and he thought he could get what he wanted without talking about it. I realized that he was the reason I was in such a bad place, so I broke up with him. After breaking up with him, I was not happy for a very long time. I knew I needed to change something in my life. In November 2017, I started to learn more about myself. I learned that I was bisexual. When I looked at myself, I knew something was missing. I realized that I liked girls the same that I liked boys. I had never known anyone was felt like this way too, so it was hard to me to tell myself it was okay. I did a lot of research, and saw that there were a lot of people like me. There was a whole community that show support, love, and pride. I started to accept myself and soon I was able to admit to myself I was bi. Even though it was better that I accepted myself, all I could think about was if other people would accept me. I feared losing friends, and never thought I would tell my family. I didn’t want to because we don’t have anyone in my family that has ever talked about it in a good way. I feared that my family would have a hard time accepting me, and wouldn’t want me to be. When I did tell my friends, some of them were very accepting,

Ray 2 yet others didn’t like it and left. I understood that not everyone was going to accept me, and I was okay with it. The hardest loss was one of my best friends. I was very scared to tell her, because I wasn’t sure how she would react. When I finally told her, she seemed so happy for me and excited. The next day, she ignored me and didn’t sit with me at lunch anymore. She wouldn’t answer my texts and started talking about me behind my back. I learned to ignore people that did that, but it was hard to accept that my best friend didn’t like me anymore. For a while after that I was alone, until I found two friends that helped me so much. Liana and Brianna were my people. They were right off the bat so loving and nice. Liana was a main part of my life, and always helped me when I was down. After Bri and Li helped me with being happy and loving myself, I finally told my mom. I told her in a terrible way, but she was very surprised. At first she didn't know what to say, but then she was frustrated with me. She didn't believe me for a very long time. She thought I was just saying this, and didn’t understand what it was. We didn’t have a very good relationship for a while, and that was very hard for me because I am always so close with my mom. She is the one person I can always go to, and it wasn’t like that for a while. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I told her, but even though it was hard, I had to be okay with her not understanding. After a few months, I met my first girlfriend. We worked really well together for a long time, but towards the end we fell out of love, and decided we work better as friends. When we started dating, that was a big stage for my mom and I. She was so nice about it and I finally felt like we had our relationship back. Throughout dating Alex, I felt a love I had never received before. It was a different relationship than I had ever had. It had more love and understanding

Ray 3 than I had ever seen before. My mom saw this and saw how happy I was, so I believe she accepted me because of this and wanted me to be happy. It took a lot to get there, and to accept it. I went through a lot of self doubt, a lot of losing friends, and it took a very to long time to be able to say that I was bisexual. I had to go through a lot to find myself, and I had to learn many hard lessons.When I look back on my life, I always see this as my biggest growth. While going through this, I learned to accept myself, to not live by others approval, and I became a better version of myself. I found friends that accept me and are good people. My family is so loving, and I am closer to my mom than ever. I have changed for the better, and it was all worth it.

Narrative Essay Rubric (Honors) Score: /50 W.9-10.3​. Write narratives to develop real or imagined experiences or events using effective technique, well-chosen details, and well-structured event sequences.

Standard 3.a​. ​Introduction​ Engage and orient the reader by setting out a problem, situation, or observation, establishing one or multiple point(s) of view, and introducing a narrator and/or characters; create a smooth progression of experiences or events.

Exceptional (10-9) ❏

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Effectively sets out a problem, situation, or observation in a compelling and/or creative manner

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Establish an insightful, original, or creative point of view

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Introduce a ​complex and/or creative narrator, characters, setting, and main idea

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Utilize ​two or more (teacher discretion) narrative techniques with purpose: dialogue, pacing,

8

3.b. ​Narrative​ - ​Use narrative techniques, such as dialogue, pacing, description, reflection,

Effectively hook the reader with a creative, original, and compelling hook

Proficient (8-7) ❏

Hook the reader with a compelling hook

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Effectively sets out a problem, situation, or observation

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Establish an insightful point of view

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Introduce a narrator, characters, setting, and main idea

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Utilize narrative techniques such as dialogue, pacing, description,

Emerging (6-1)

Not Evident (0)

Ray 4 and multiple plot lines, to develop experiences, events, and/or characters.

description, reflection, multiple plot lines, etc… ❏

Develop experiences, events, and/or characters and to clearly develop a purposeful theme

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Use ​purposefully narrative techniques such as foreshadowing, dramatic irony, suspense, and/or flashbacks in a ​highly effective manner​ ​to create an original plot structure

8.5

3.c​. ​Organization​ - ​Use a variety of techniques to sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole. 8

3.d.​ ​Language​ - ​Use precise words and phrases, telling details, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture of the experiences, events, setting, and/or characters.

reflection, and multiple plot lines ❏

Develop experiences, events, and/or characters in attempt to convey theme

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Use appropriately techniques such as foreshadowing, dramatic irony, suspense, and/or flashbacks

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Create a smooth progression of experiences or events that is logical and engaging

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Create a smooth progression of experiences or events that is logical, ​creative, and sophisticated ​and that uses ​highly engaging devices

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Use precise, detailed and ​sophisticated words, phrases, and sensory language​ to engage the reader ​and convey a​ ​vivid picture

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Use precise and detailed words, phrases, and sensory language to convey a vivid picture

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Provide a conclusion that reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved

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Provide a conclusion that reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved

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Extends the meaning and purpose to connect to the audience ​and​ ​convey a complex and original theme

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Extends the meaning to convey a theme

8 3.e.​ ​Conclusion​ - ​Provide a conclusion that follows from and reflects on what is experienced, observed, or resolved over the course of the narrative. 8.5