Home

H 0 i ',t$ Vi h e n I

th i n k

o f b u r far m I think of the o1d far mhouse, fB56 It was white clapboar d the fir st Se ar v /e v i n t a g e , N e w Y o rk S ta te , l l v e d t he re , T h e l i g h t gr ey siding was put on later . It look ed ni c e the red and white trim. There was the barn my husband had jacked up and etraightened to p r e p a r e fo r o u r fu tu re h er d of cattle. Ther e was the pum phous e out back where the roater was pumped from the artisian well and made availwith

modern plumbing. There was the Northern Spy, able to us via our fairly above the house. Later our cows us ed thi s a p p l e o rch a rd o n th e h i l l l a n d f o r n i g h t p a stu re . Nostalgla pr events an accur at6 descr i pti on; I c a n s ee i t 1 n my ml n d rs eye better than I could ever hope to tel - l l t. W he n I th i n k o f o u r far m I see it in ter ms of all that c ontr i buted t o t h e fu l -In e ss o f o u r l i v es. It contalned ever ything. It r/as a m i x t u r e o f b u si n e ss a n d p l e a sur e. It wa6 a subtle com binatlon o f the tw o t h a t a d d e d u p to a ce rta i n char m not found today in the tr appi ngs of a modern dairy farm that shrieks at you from the blg blue sj-los as you pag6.

I a m fl l l e d w i th e motion as I r emlnj- sce. W e had so muchr i l y hus ft w a s a l i fe b a n d a n d f. filled with the joy of doing - - wo r k i ng s epa r a t e l y a n d to g e th e r -- b eing to6ether and being aloner yet n ev er s epar a t e i n o u r va l u e s a n d o u r aj- ms, &t least after the fir st coupl e of y ear s . A f t e r th a t th i n g s w ent along. City wom en can adapt, and m y pas t e x p e r i e n ce h a d b e e n th e rur al scene" I had never actually liv ed i n the c i t y e x ce p t fo r sh o rt p e riods some year s befor e, but my notion s w er e s o n e t i m e s ci ty n o ti o n sr or shall we say m y mother fs notlons -- ftU pper M i d d l e C l a ss? rtma ;rb e ; b u t mjr hear t wa6nr tr r upper br ackettl And ao I found m y s e l f i n tl i e co u n try se tting, not just adapting, but thr owing m y s el f into it. I fo u n d th a t I coufd expand my inter ests whi- ch in a c tual i ty h a d b e e n e xtre me l y l i mi te d . i s e n h a n ced wher e the view is longl v.,' her eyou r hom e C r ea ti vi ty has all you could posslbly lvant in the rrrorl-d. ltr/enot only had it. T h e r e i t w a s, sp re a d o u t befor e usr Unlim ited, it vr ent on fo r ev er : F r o m o u r fro n t p o rch w e could aee all of the beauty, it seemed, the w o r l d c o n ta i n e d -- th e va lley wi- th its fr agr ant clOvar . lgead ow sand T he v r hol e p a s t u r e l a n d ; th e w i 1 1 o v,'-1ined cr eek and the distant hills. w o r l d b el o n g e d to u sr e ve n the sunset. on the farm with six or seven guernsey coll/s' lVe V/e started life They bought thern from a fanner up in the country who loved thern dearly. l l e k new w e r e h l s ttch i l d re n rri j -n d i viduals each, r aised fr om calfhood. in*;matplv:rnd

loved

He told

us

all

about

-I

TO I

EDW IN

can rsnember --My memory ls filled I look at you

fisry I Can renember! with Joy as I think

of you.

A s a p o rt i n a stor m , As a rock that withetand.s many lashingo fn th e e u rf of tlm e. Y o u h a ve b e en m y l- ight - - - m y beacon;thr ough the y ear s . I se e th e sour ce of life A s f l o o k a t you, You have alvrays been there to listerr to my words Wh a te ve r th e y might be. In th e si l e n ce we ar e or r €r In our tears we are one, A n d l n th e j oy of each new d.iscover y, A s th e sto n e s ar e tur ned, We are one in truth a,s we see it together. I wlll always see the blue of the sky A s I re me mb er your eyes, And the sparkle d'f the merry streara we sat beside. The freshness of our thoughts and our words have l e ft n o r oomr for dlscor d. D e b a te h a s n ot been our pur poser Ou r l L ve s a re bound together in a per fect blend -- _ A b l o n d o f seeking tr uth,. We h a ve b e e n fr ee together A n d fre e i n our aloneness. l l o w co u l d i t be other wise? rn a l o n e n e ss r /e cr oss over into the ti- m er essness ca l l e d d e a th *- * rnto urhat we perceive ln the fabric of our own mlnds, Andr knowing Your the poet and the l-over of l-ife and what you have woven l_nto it, rt w l l l - sti l l be beautiful because your life i6. I w:ill miss you here Rut when I think of you f t w:i].l ease timers pai.nn And I too Tri1l ftnd joy As I shere rnv aloneness

H.0 [i _E All

o f my ri fe

r l iad been looking for a lior ne. As a ir ol r s e t h i s o n e w a s n o t u p to r ny meticulous expectations of lvhat a tt house stroi*a should be , but a 100 year oLd farmliouse trvasintitled to l ts i n fi rmi ti e s. After a glance or tb@ r v,' a6abl e to o v e r l o o h i ts g l a ri n g d efects, like the fr ont por ch that neeoed. r e - f l o ori n g a n d th e b roken clapboar ds that p a p e r u n d e rn e a th ,

showed the black tar -

Ivi y fi rst vi e w o f i ts inter ior was thr ough the par lor ur i nd o v r . ( v re d i d n rt h a ve th e key Twith us.) The fur nltur e, inher it ed f r o m E d rs l a st ma ml a g e r wasnf t exactly to m y taste. r cor .l l d L h e a r r n y mo th e r vo i ci -n g her caustic onj- nlons on this subject, It didnt t help. f

recalled.

rly last

e x r-: , e rie n c e lv it h

mo t h e r

s o in e e ig ; irt y e a r s

be for e , durin6 tny first rn a rria g e n wh e n s h e h a d a g a in lv o rk e d h e r via y j- nto my life. S he d ic rn t $ ii< e t h e f u rn it u re my h u s b a n d , G e o r g e , picked had to furnish?r t h e a p a rt rn e n t h e h a d f o u n d f o r u s t o m o v e in to on my return from F lo rid a . j S o p ile h a d t a k e n it u p o n ir e r s e l f to

ha ve it

rronnoa and if

she I

returned

to

the

rrrhan 1'g arrived lvas liillin6

vLas to

This

a n d a lie n

home froia two

bj-rds

lvorl< that

vlith

one

tiryle f rd left

i,iotirer in ol d

and his

. . shabby. _*1

to

6 \\-b#J+e-.J

lrq_d

fo

Itr ha

She hated :etrr:llv

s.linrr-shot-

Geor.ge trrroo

of

i-'si..1 this c o u ld r,las the earJl'fif t ie s for

s o me crFtlte--+}.d

e x -v rif e

spot.

t';hen they

i-deas azz put fhe6e-ideas

f

h a d c le a n e d

b e rn a d e t o lo o li

rue, no ru f in is lt in g .

ql"r .elr hr i

-- and iie re f v " as , v r i t h a le f t -o v e r f ro m h is l- a s t

trvas on t h e

a r va yf f had to. FnXea* lliith not too lrnuch rn o t le , v (, ! o t s - - - - {h is I"or tun ete

nigtrt.

li'l-orida

. t re rviro u s e -say- t h e 1

,4

an d l- ots

g re e t ed

f u rn it u re

be counted..

ny ne ',v husband, r n a r r ia ge. -

s t o re ,

I lHe

h irn o u t . ) ,

a h o iire s h o u l d .

t ry e re lra in t in g

f lo o r s .

r

brol''rn, lv id e b o a rc is I

c o v e re d

v rit h

a soft

gr e e n ,

o b l i t e r a ti n g a l l g ,{" t$ 9 "6} mEs"r 6:ie;htdovr n to last squar e- hea ded nai l . I c o r - rl d a l n o st h e a r/th e lover s of old far m- houses ss I r apid l y t'slurped"th"

'i:aint

that led to steps lirnlhinc" rr;q. left. rt

v

vrr+rrt

over

every

the

upsiairs

inchi;of hallvray

tkie dini-ng and

bedroolns

The brOelS1n bCfardS Were gone

T+ +^^, vuul( more painting

and

firin6,

rooni,

f6rever,

some rnlnd

al1

t lvelve

notivithstanding.

ii _0.ii_n rtnu Jd'*tuef l U he n I .

rYV(*.

t a g e .i ,/JIt gr e y t

ni

thi.nli of^ our

uas white was put

si dln g

fa{ n

I

t h in k

clapboard

the

on later.

It

t h e o ld year

f irs t lo o k e d

f a rmh o u s e ,

f856

The light

we l-lv e d . t h e re .

n ic e

v iit h

vin-

t h e re d

and whi-te

rn

The r e pr e p a r e

it

l',ras the

barn rny h u s b a n d lia d ja c k e d

for

future

our

herd o f

to us via

, Sn y d p p le

orchard

on the

t h is

and the

l.and bel-ov r t ire h il-l

l an d

p r e ve n ts f

t han

an accurate co uld

Vthe n I the

ever

of of

above the

descript io n ---1 .

hoire to

think

fu llness

fairly hill

our

our

a rt is j-a n

mo d e rn p lu mb in g .

availa b le

our

u p a n d s t ra ig h t e n e d

tell

to

' I ' h e re wa s t h e p u mp h o u s e

c a t t le .

b a ck where the vuater was p u mp e d f ro in t h e

ou t

to

of

T h e re v / a s t h e l t i o r t h e r n

house,

for

1 , v e 1 1a n d m a d e

Later

p a s t u re ,

n lg l: t

c a n s e e it

in

cov/s used

our

I io s t a l g i a

rn y in in d rs

eye better

it .

farm I

lives.

s e e j-t in It

t e rms o f

c o n t a in e d

a ll

that

e v e ry t h i4 g .

It

contributed tvas a mixture

ft v / a s a s u b t le c o mb in a t j-o n o f t h e tv r o t h a t of bu sin e ss and pleasure. q r lr lo r l ,r - n *n o certain charm rO t f O u n d . t O d a y in t h e t O d p p n n g S , , . O $ ; a . ' m O d d r n q

d a i- r y I an d I;

t-/

fa r ln that

shriehs

am filled

vrith

It

v/as a life

an d tog e ther ou r

va lu e d After

at

y o u f ro m t l" ie b ig

b lu e

as you pass,

s ilo s

einotio n

a s f re min is c e ; . . l' v ' e ] ra d s o mu c h r n l y h u s b a n d wit h t h e jo y o f d o in g -- wo rle in g s e p a r a t e l y filled a n c l b e irrg a lo ire r y e t n e v e r s e p a r a t e i r r togethe r

-- being c o u o le o f . .y g g r s . t h e f irs t and our airns --- a t L e a s t a f t e r t' l /d b that thin$s went a lo n g . Uit y v , ro me nc a n a d a t rt , a n d rn y / e x i l e r i e n c e

rural ecerer ha d be e n enthe qh n nt f nr ..:r -leriocl s6me year g

I

had never

b e f O re ,

a c t u a lly

liv e d

in

the

city;except

b Ut rn y n O t j_ O n S We re S O met i r n e S C i t y

no ti on sr or shall !.re say rl1y mo t h e rf s n o t io n s --u p . p e r mid d le c la ss n a y b e , hr r * M \r lr r oqn* V /asntttrupner br a Cf t e t rl A n d S O f f O u n d my s e lf in t h e C O U n t r y b u b t liro i' rin g rn y s e lf in t o it . I f o u nd t h a t I hot just adaritinilr s ettin g r h a d b e e n e x t re me ly l i m i t e d . C r ea tivity is enhanced I ' rh e re t h e v ie v , r is lo n g ; v rlt e re y o u r h o i a e h a s yo u couldl,rossibl-y lniant in t h e v lo rld . lle n o t o n ly h a d it . T'here it v"ast

co u ld - exp and iny inberests .all-

s pr e a d

out

,..orclrwe T'h.evaIXfl h i l l s.

before

usr

W*"ffift

vrh ic h in

a c t u a lit y

Uiilii'rri-t e d , I t lv e n t o n f o re v e r: l' ro m o u r f r o n t . . i f l r o he:rr f.v- i fi rGA A i .rl 6d - 11"€ w orl d con tained yno ff ''blre

-a;&ii>ev,.2;riL:^{ the

vrillolv

lined

creetrr and the

The v,rhole rnrorld belon $ e d t o u s --€ v e o t h e s u n s e t . 'uijestarted on the fana vritir si-x or seven guernsey life

bought

the,"n frorn a farner

' j 'he y l \ie r e liis

children,

k n e w e a ch one i-ntimately

ull in

the

indi-v id u a ls aird lo v e d

country each,

vrho loved

colrusr trI/e

tlterii dearly.

ra i-s e c l f rr: in c a lf h o o d '

e a c h u n c o n c t it io n a ll; t .

distant

He

I ie t o l d - u s

HOI,I E All cou l- d caII id e a s

of

Home. A s a ho,-Ue qt h is i.nfdrmities.

to its

o ve r lo o k

its

floorj.ng

and the

glaring

broken

a g la n c e

After

defec L s ,

a 100 year

but

lih e

the

clapboards

o ld

I

f a rmh o u s e w a s

t wo I

or

p o rc h

f ro n t

wa s a b le

that

showed the

that

a p la c e

for

u p t o my me t ic u lou s

one tvas not

be,

lvhat a house should

e n ti tle d

h a d b e e n lo o k in g

se e me d , I

it

my life,

of

to

needed re-

black

tarpaper

un d e r n e a th. l "l y first ( We d id n ,tt

vievr of

her

voicin g I in to

caustic

to

r e tur n e d

store,

the

home from vrorh that

r l ved

Thj-s ti-me I

hacl left

n e w h u sbahd and his old sha b b y to say the least. m y ho u se should awa y.

l Vith not ea r ly

hear

my m o t h e r

d id n t L

h e lp . vrorked her

for

it

George,

u s t o mo v e l n t o

u p o n h e rs e l-f g re e t e d

way had on

to have it

G e o rg e v rh e n h e & r -

S h e h a t e d G e o rg e a n d s h e wa s t k l l l l n g t h re e ,

a c t u a lly

ho u s e

i-n Florida

if

f

h a d s o me p re -c o n c e iv e d f put

spot.

be counted.

-- and here I was vrith rny f ro rn h is la s t u r a m i a g e - -

a le f t -o v e r

lvas o n t h e

v ra s t o

a ll

n o t io n s id e a s

a bo u t

what

pe r f e c t i c l n

of

had to.

I

pa in t

I

ber

f ro m E d r s

my h a s b a n d ,

f u rn it u re

f u rn it u re

I'lother I

It

he had foudd

n ig h t .

one sling-bho t ,

?wo bj- r ds with

the

and a lie n

c o u ld

\'Jhen she had again

So she had tahen

from Florida.

m y r etur n

of

lik e

the apart me n t

furnish

I

s u b je c t .

t h is

wln d o l .

in h e rit e d

T h e f u rn it u re ,

rnarriage,

S he didntt

t h e p a rlo r

wa s t h ro u g h

t o my t a s t e .

oplnion s . , a r

my first

r ny l-ife. to

us)

vrasnrt exac t ly

recalled

p icke d

i-n t e rio r

have the key vi it h

m arriage,

la st

its

much mo n e y (E d t s

too

be ma d e t o

could

this

when they

fifties

e x -wj-f e lik e

lo o k

lv e re p a in t in g

h a d c le a n e d

h im o ut ) a n d l o t s

a h o n re s h o u l-c l.

f lo o rs .

T h ir: w a s t h e

F o rt { I n a t e

mer Do r€-

for

fi nish j- n g. ll'h e shabby, erating

alt

of

brown,

the

flaws

wj. d e b o a rd s r'16ht

f

down to

c o v e re d

wit h

the last

a soft

g ree n r i . o b l i t -

square-headed

nail.

I

co u ld a lmost hear the ecrea n s o f t h e lo v e rs o f o ld f a rmh o u s e s a s I r a p i d paj-nt over e v e ry in c h o f t h e d in ln g ro o ln , a II t w e l v e 1y tr slu r ped.rrtlie steps

that

led

to

the

upstairs

The b ro wn vias missed. and took more painting lrrnakine .dotl^ but u. reh a d lo t of farmers. dairy V/e were by a fo rrn e r alm o st destitute

No thin g .. . It

and vlhen we came in o u r boots outside B.Y'e e nfloors.

hallvray

and bedrooms notl'rithstanding.

lv e re S o n e f o re v e r. and a some mind-nranipulation fixing, h n ma ^ rrY ' It was hard for one wiro had been made b o a rd s

spouse to

frorn milking

ttre ba c h d o o r.

lvith

s t a rt

over

a g ; a in ,

covr-dung on our

V J e d id n rt

v ra n t t o

b r; t v r e d i c l ,

feet

s p o il

lve left our new