Corporate Ninja Infiltration Guide

Corporate ninja’s Guide to

infiltration WINDOWS

The hotly competitive covert tactical realignment operations industry demands operatives who know their way around—and in! Remember these handy tips when planning to drop by unannounced.

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ROOFTOP

Requisition “Nighthawk” CACR silent helicopter from Logistics. Note: This model cancels all sound made within. Say what you have to say before you board the chopper.

Scale glass curtain-walls using SlickStick™ suction cups. Glass cutting techniques available in Ninjalistics Operations circular Op01-20050314A “Watch Out for Seven Years’ Bad Luck!”

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FRONT ENTRANCE

Not dramatic, but efficient and a good test of disguise skills. Capture, seduce, or inveigle your target’s co-workers to obtain entry codes, keycards, fingertips, and retinas.

AIR CONDITIONERS

A true ninja can strike the whirring blades with bare hands, stopping them and opening access to air ducts. Consult Human Resources for insurance restrictions and, if needed, disability policy.

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SEWERS

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Tried and true. Sewer work does not ordinarily qualify for hazard pay, but dry cleaning can be expensed normally. Before returning to the office, contact Operations for Cleanup Review & Counsel. Copyright ©2009 Ninjalistics. By Allen Varney. Photo by Oisin Prendiville (Flickr: Prentio2), released under a Creative Commons license. For further ninja-related help, visit www.ninjalistics.com