Young Talk, April 2007

Not for SALE: Young Talk is FREE

No. 4 Volume 10 April 2007

•Know your rights •Stay in school •Wait to have sex

Sex education for primary schools

We are too young to marry!

I was misled into early marriage Some girls think that life with a husband will be better than life with their parents. But young marriage is very difficult. Here is a true story. Our neighbour’s wife convinced me to get married. She told me that her brother needed a wife, and I would make a good wife for him. He was 20 and I was 16. I was not promised anything. I accepted out of ignorance. I had never met the man. I didn’t know what job he had. He came for me and took me to his home. I left without telling my parents.

Below 18 years th girls and boys are e children. Their work is to go to school and help their families with house chores.

Say no to forced/ early marriage, it can lead to HIV/AIDS ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

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I did a lot of work. Life was very hard: waking up early, digging, cooking and doing all the housework alone. After sometime, my father came for me. I was so scared when I saw him. He said, “I want my daughter now!” I thought he was going to kill me. But he forgave me. We left the man’s place and went home. My mother counseled me. She talked to me about problems of getting married when you are still young. Now I’m back in school. I am in P6. and I am happy. Life at home is better than in marriage. I also avoid friends who are older than me. They can mislead. Girl, 17, Ikulwe PS, Mayuge

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Teacher wins mobile phone see page 2 YOUNG TALK IS FOR TEACHERS AND PUPILS IN P5, P6 AND P7

2 Young Talk, April 2007

Young Talkers from Ikulwe PS, Mayuge Town Council PS and Kyebando PS, Mayuge identified many reasons why some girls and boys marry when they are very young. Does early marriage happen in your community? What do you think causes it? Talk about it in your YT club.

Some girls marry when they are young because:

Some boys marry when they are young because:

• They are having sex • They get pregnant while at home • They lack money for school fees • They are performing poorly at school • Their parents die: you become an orphan • A stepmother mistreats them • Are misled by bad peer groups • They lack basic needs like food and clothes • Their parents abuse or beat them • They don’t have where to stay • They go to films often • They feel that they want to be independent • They do not go to school any more • They walk long distances to school • They sleep in the same room with parents • Their parents want grandchildren before they die • The parents want bride price • The father has many women so the girl decides to go away

• They have misunderstandings with parents • They are weak in class • They lack school fees • They have sex with girls • They are badly behaved • They are forced by culture • They want to expand the family • They need a wife to help him at home • They want to be respected • Poor parents can say they are finishing their food • A brother or friend has married • They want to be called fathers • They fear dying before having children of their own • They have become a burden to the village like being a thief • Their parents/guardian are tired of them -for example, if they eat a lot, are weak at school, sleep with girls or are disrespectful.

Early/forced marriage can lead to: • Early pregnancy and damage to reproductive organs • Dropping out of school • Early parenting which is hard because you are also a child • Destruction of your future • Feeling bad about yourself Early ge marria is not a to solution s problemld you cou g be facin at home

I escaped forced marriage My father almost married me off. But my relatives and teachers saved me. There was a false story that I had a boyfriend. The teachers asked me about it and I told them it was not true. The boy had asked me to be his girlfriend but I refused. I was reported to my parents. I tried to explain but my father did not believe me. He caned me 10 strokes and gave me an acre of land to dig in four days. He also said that I had to leave school to get married. I cried and begged him to forgive me. I still wanted to study. My uncles and teachers discouraged him from marrying me off. He forgave me. But he warned me never to play with boys. It is hard to avoid boys completely. I study with them! But I try so hard to avoid them. I’m happy I’m back in school. In future, I want to become a nurse. Girl, 15, P7, Ikulwe PS, Mayuge

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MY SISTER IS BEING FORCED INTO MARRIAGE WITH AN OLD MAN BECAUSE SHE LACKS SCHOOL FEES. WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE MY SISTER? Junju Musa, 14, P7, St Jude Malaba PS. She should report those who want to marry her off to the police or LC. Your sister can still get education under UPE. Also, she can do simple jobs to get money for the uniform, books and other needs.

What to do if forced into marriage Young Talkers in Mayuge told us what they would do if they were forced to marry: • Tell them that I don’t want to marry • Refuse and report to police • Say that I’m still young, in school and planning for my future • Go away from home to a relative's place • Convince parents when they are in a good mood not to force me to marry • Run to school and ask my teacher for help • Ask for an explanation why they are forcing me to marry • Ask them to give me land where to build first and the food to start with • Build my own house and leave them • Report to cultural leaders and the LC I. It is their work to help us What would you do if you were forced to marry? Talk with your friends about what you think could prevent forced marriage in your community.

for

teachers

Every teacher is a counselor - Monica Nakirya, Senior woman teacher, Ikulwe PS, Mayuge says: Through counseling I was able to help a pupil who was being forced into marriage by her parents and another who had run to a man. I

YOUNG TALK IS FOR TEACHERS AND PUPILS IN P5, P6 AND P7

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What forces young people into marriage? The group that worked on this YT

It is a girls' matter.

We can find the answer in YT.

Let me write your name first.

That is a good story.

Let's have a break.

Interview in progress.

talked to their parents. Today these pupils are in school because of her efforts to reach out to their parents. Bravo Teacher Monica! You win a cell-phone and a Tshirt from Straight Talk Foundation

3

The new story continues....

Young Talk, April 2007

And whether her husband got HIV from her or he contracted the disease on his own. Sara’s uncle tries to condemn Sofia that she is the one who passed on the virus to her husband. Sofia feels bad and wants to commit suicide. Sara tells her she cannot be sure she is infected with HIV unless she tested first.

Sara complains to her mother about the mistreatment they got at the well. Her mother explains that people still feared to talk about AIDS and that the silence was very dangerous. The next day as Sofia and Sara are digging, they start discussing why Sofia got married very early.

The empty compound Back at Home What’s wrong with everyone? They are so mean and unfair.

They all looked at us and started shouting...

Remember what we told you yesterday

le Do not judge peopve ha whose spouses died of AIDS accuse It is not good to ing ct someone of infe the other with HIVlution Suicide is not a so to anything h many Early and sex wit one to e people can caus get HIV u have You cannot tell yost te HIV unless you

Why? What happened? People are still afraid of this disease they don’t want to face up to it. Why Mama?

DICTIONARY • Murderer - A person who has killed another • Spouse - husband or wife • Suicide - killing yourself • Tricked - plan where one deceive another Next day... They are scared and they don’t want to realise that silence is dangerous...

Did you get pregnant?

Yes, he wouldn’t use a condom. Then my family forced him to marry me.

I loved my in-laws and they loved me. And now I’m kicked out as if I am a murderer. What is the point of living?

I was tricked into having sex. He forced me.

How come you got married so early?

People who have AIDS should be careful not to give it to others.

Sara, it’s not so easy. I know he had so many girlfriends, but I had other boyfriends before my husband.

Please don’t say that. We want to help and your daughter needs you.

People always accuse the wife, no matter what.

But it must have been him.

And they could be right

What if I get sick and leave her and the new baby as orphans?

Sofia, your children are part of our family, too. And you don’t even know you have AIDS, anyway. My teacher says people can take a test at the health centre. YOUNG TALK IS FOR TEACHERS AND PUPILS IN P5, P6 AND P7

P.O.

STF

My father is forcing me to get married. But I still want to study. What can I do? Adokorach Apsa, 16, P7, Anaka Central PS, Amuru Apsa that is sad. You need to tell your father about the importance of education. If he does not accept, involve other people who value education that he can listen to. There is a man in my village that always tells me to drop out from school and marry. What is the best answer for him? Gakuru Saveri, P7, Kaburasaazi PS, Kisoro There are many answers you can give. Like, you are young, you are studying, or you are not interested. But the best answer is saying “NO” and sticking to it. You need to inform your parents/guardian who can support you, about this man's plans. I have a friend who is an orphan. Her stepmother tells her to have sex with men to get money to help the family. How can I help her? Pande Esther, P6, St Jude Malaba PS, Tororo Your friend should not accept. She should look for support from other people and let them know about what she is going through. Please, advise her not to accept, no matter how much pressure is put on her. She is responsible for herself and not other people. She can do some little work to earn some money to assist her. Also tell her to report to her father or teacher about it. A YT Club reads a Young Talk issue with their patron Mr. Turinawe Moses

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DEAR Young TALK

How can I help a friend if she is pregnant? Koyi Elijah, 13, St Mulumba, Kyebando PS, Mayuge You can assist your friend in several ways: advise her not to abort. Advise her to go for antenatal services. Do not isolate her. Encourage her to continue with school after giving birth. What can we do if we find problems like being forced to marry or when old people force us to have sex with them? Nakandha Daphine, 11, Ikulwe PS Mayuge Daphine, no one should force you to have sex or get married. If they force you then they are committing a crime. Tell them firmly that you are young and not interested. Tell other responsible adults whom your parents will listen to, like teachers or people you trust in your village or town. Ask them to help you.

I love Young Talk. A Young Talker from Mayuge district No. If you wear a sweater, it does not mean you are pregnant. It can be that you are feeling cold or you are sick. One may put on a sweater

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If you share knickers with a girl suffering from AIDS, can you get infected? Kyomuhendo Annet, 14, P7, Bunjojo PS, Kibiito la pa m B0X 22366 Ka Fort -Portal. HIV is acquired through blood and sexual fluids. It is never advisable to share knickers with another person. It is unhygienic. You may get other infections such as Henry pubic lice. Please stop sharing Nsubuga knickers immediately. Counsellor

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4 Young Talk, April 2007 also because she is pregnant, and she does not want people to know. My friends have girlfriends. They tell me I should have a girlfriend too. How can I avoid these friends? Okecho George, P6, 12, Akaba PS, Nebbi Thanks for refusing to listen to your friends' wrong ideas. You may not avoid your friends but you need to tell them what is important for you. If you find that being with those friends will lead you to do things you do not want to do, then do not move out with them. You can do this by not escorting them to some places and not involving yourself in certain conversations. Is it true that a boy of 13 can make a sugar mummy of 40 pregnant? Amusolo Josephine, P7, 14, St Jude Malaba PS Yes, as long as the boy can have wet-dreams, he can make any girl/ woman pregnant. He can also get HIV/STDs. To avoid this, wait to have sex and say NO to sugar mummies. Send your questions to Dear Young Talk, P.O.Box 22366 Kampala

hool, Go to School, Stay in Sc complete your studies

What makes girls grow faster than boys? Tendo Justine, 11, P6, Revival PS, Matugga, Kampala Boys and girls grow differently because of the different hormones. People grow faster due to the food they eat, their genetic make up, the circumstances they are going through, health status and so on. It is not true that girls grow faster than boys. I have asked this question because I’m confused. My parents and teachers say that if you wear a swea-ter, it means that you are pregnant. Is it true? Amu-mpiire Sharon, P6, 14, KCC Primary School, Kamwokya

ur education. UNICEF cares about yo ucation is very Wherever you are, edur right, go for it! important. It is also yo

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