What Does It Really Mean To Be Androgynous.docx

What Does It Really Mean to Be Androgynous? Sophie Saint Thomas

© Lucas Ottone - Getty Images Yeah, you've probably heard it used to describe certain fashions-but do you really know what it means? Androgynous is a term most people don't know the full definition for. Here's how it's most commonly used, and what it refers to. What comes to mind when you hear the word “androgyny?” Maybe it’s a celebrity, like David Bowie or Ruby Rose, who dresses and presents themselves in a way that toes the line between masculine or feminine. If so, you’ve nailed it-the word comes from the 14th century and is a combination of “andr,” for man, and “gyne,” meaning woman. The term “androgynous” isn’t used often these days within the queer community, it’s mostly used within the fashion world, or you see it popping up to describe a pop star. “Androgyny is a way of presenting yourself with both masculine and feminine characteristics,” explains Kelly Wise, PhD, a New York City-based sex therapist. While androgynous is more of a fashion term these days and not so much a term used within the queer community, it speaks to the societal pressure to look a certain way. For instance, gender isn’t just a binary of male and female, but includes trans folks (someone whose gender assigned at birth by a doctor does not match their gender identity), genderqueer folks (someone whose gender fluctuates and has different gender identities at different times) and non-binary folks (someone who doesn't identify on the gender binary, or solely as one of those two genders). Likewise, sexual orientation doesn’t just include straight and gay, but encompasses those who are bisexual (attraction to your own gender and genders other than your own), pansexual (attraction to people regardless of their gender) and queer (an umbrella term within the LGBTQ community).

“There’s pressure if you don’t fit within the gender binary, to become that middle ground,” says Liz Powell, PhD, a LGBTQ-friendly sex therapist. “You can’t present as someone who fits within the gender binary because then people get confused.” I relate to this as a bisexual and queer person-despite being bisexual and having a girlfriend, I’m very “high-femme,” meaning I’m a queer person who presents and engages in traditionally feminine clothing, make-up, and activities like spa days. Sometimes when I’m mistaken for straight I wonder, if I looked more androgynous, would that happen less? “Androgyny was a term initially created to describe people who didn’t fit within the expressions of gender that were expected of them, but it doesn’t necessarily speak to their internal gender identities,” Powell says. “I have a good friend who does not identify within the gender binary, who dresses exclusively in long dresses and wears makeup. So their presentation is very clearly along femme lines, but that femme-ness does not make them cisgender.” Androgyny as a style choice-something anyone can play with-can be fun. But it’s still important to maintain the distinction between how someone chooses to look or dress, and how they identify on the inside. Expecting a certain presentation-like for femme-presenting people to dress “girly,” or masculinepresenting people to dress “manly”-is harmful. “To me, a very limited way of thinking about androgynous is how gender neutral-clothing is almost always men’s clothing,” Powell says. “The idea is that it’s okay for women to wear men’s clothing, it’s okay for them to want to present closer to men, but anyone who was assigned male at birth and wants to wear dresses or makeup, or look more generally femme, that’s a problem.” It shouldn't be, because anyone should be allowed to explore their style, and I can’t be the only one who finds men in makeup hot. So explore and encourage yourself and others to enjoy androgynous looks-just remember it’s not a term often used within LGBTQ circles because we have our own terms and phrases, and it’s a bit outdated. And just one more friendly reminder: The way someone dresses doesn’t define their gender or orientation. Follow Sophie on Twitter.