Tom And I Written By Rose

Tom and I Love is a fantastic thing. It finds you in nice places, bad places, and places inbetween. I found love when I was in college. It was the summer of ’89, or I wanted to be, in reality it was the middle of the winter and it was ’97. I was in Paris studying art at the art college there. I never bothered learning its name; I just called the arty farty school. I was still secretly a kid at heart. The man I fell in love with was my best friend. We had met each other, grown up together and now lived together. Me and Tom were so close, but nothing could prepare us for the future, the decisions we’d have to make and the people we’d hurt along the way. I remember when I first met him all those years ago... “Hello” He said. I was five, starting primary school. A shy boy smiled at me, black currents smudged around his mouth and held out his hand for me to take. Looking back at it now I realize there was something there that day, but I was five for cripes sake I had no idea then. “Hello, my names Rosie” I grinned back and took his hand. He seemed astounded at the idea I was holding his hand but I think he was secretly pleased. He led me to the sand pit and we played all day. From that day onwards we were best friends, never leaving each other’s sides. He often stayed over at mine and me at his. When we got to secondary school people thought we were strange, a boy and a girl best friends. People often thought we fancied each other, but back then we didn’t. However I remember the day that would change our lives forever. Jess, my closest girly pal was having a party, everyone was invited. I dressed all nicely. I was year 11 by then so everything I wore was to impress. As I arrived I met tom’s eyes, he grinned at me and he came over. “Rosie Posey you look gorgeous!” He exclaimed. I don’t think I’d ever reached that shade of scarlet before! Me gorgeous? Please. He was being kind! I was wearing a simple black dress and my pendant necklace with some gorgeous satin boots. What was so amazing about that? He however looked divine in his white shirt and jeans. A real gentleman. “Right everyone spin the bottle!” Jess cried. I was buzzing; I’d never played spin the bottle before. I sat down next to jess and opposite tom. Next to tom was mike, and it was a well known fact he lurrrveeddd jess, so she was very pleased to be opposite him. We span the bottle. Various people got off with others, including mike and jess. When the bottle landed on me I was shaking. Who would I have to kiss? It was not widely known that I was lacking in experience in that department. The bottle slowed down andstopped on Tom. My best friend. I stared at him, and our eyes met. For a moment it seemed like we could not hear anyone else in the room. Suddenly however we were bought back to reality by a crashing sound; someone had spilt some drink over the cream carpets. Jess was fuming. “Out! Everybody out now, party over!” She screeched. I whizzed outside. As I started the long walk to my house I heard panting and footsteps. Tom had followed me. For a good while we walked along in silence. It was only when I was aware he was staring at me did I speak. “What?” I asked a cold tone in my voice, something I had not intended. His eyes dropped. “Rosie...I....Erm...” he spluttered, “I have to go, erm can you get home alright?” “Yes, I can.” I lowered my head so he could not see the tears brimming in my eyes. He put his hand on my chin and lifted my face up to him. Then slowly and softly he kissed my lips. It was so gentle and it felt so right, but it was over in a flash.

“This isn’t right.” He sighed and walked away. I stumbled home and cried myself to sleep that night. We never spoke again. Three years later Three entire years past and I had not spoken to him since that night. For many months afterwards I was haunted with that kiss. I went on to sixth form and then moved to Paris to study art. I was 19. On this particular day I decided on one thing; I was going to miss college. I felt dirty, tired and depressed as my boyfriend whom I had dated for two weeks had just broken up with me. He used me for sex 8 times, and stupidly I had gone along with it. I was now known as Rosie sex toy. I couldn’t face another day and so decided to head down to the river my favourite place in the whole world. The Seine through pariee is magical and I often spent my time down there drawing. So I packed my art things and started the short walk to the river. When I reached the edge it was practically empty. I picked my favourite spot and started to sketch. My hands glided over the paper and I was lost in my own world. It was only when a dog started to sniff around my feet that I was aroused from my calm state. “Sorry about Rufus, He’s a friendly dog.” I was shocked to hear a male voice and without turning I called back to him. “That’s okay; he just scared me a little.” I turned back to my drawing and was preparing to slip back to my own world when I felt a shadow towering above me. “That’s a very good picture,” he whispered. I was shaking with nerves. This man seemed interested in my drawings and yet I was about to screw it up in shame. Slowly I turned to look at him. The man smiled down on me. And then he spoke again. “It’s been a long time Rosie.” My mind was whirling. Standing in front of me was he. The man I had not spoken to for three years. It was Tom. What happened next has always been a blur for me. I remember standing up and walking away without looking back on him. I remember getting to my flat opening the door and tumbling through. I remember crawling to my bed and breaking down in tears. But that is all I recall. The next thing I recollect is waking up the next morning. At first I thought it was all a dream, but I know it was not. I phoned college and told them I was sick so that I did not have to face another day there. I walked slowly downstairs. I felt so numb. I felt so alone. I walked to the river. At first I don’t know why. And then it dawned upon me that I wanted to see him. I sat down on the bench and stayed there all day but he did not come. I went again the following day and was disappointed with the results. Each time I told myself it was so I could draw, but the only pictures I drew were hearts. On the seventh day I came I had never felt so sick and alone. It felt like the whole world was crushing down on me and no one knew where I was. College was threatening to throw me out as they did not believe my lies of sickness but I didn’t care. Why should I? I was alone. So alone. With a heavy heart I trudged home, unlocked my flat and curled into a ball on the floor. A few moments later there was a knock on my door. I stayed silent, praying that whomever it was they would leave but they were persistent. I took my time standing up and I quietly sauntered to the door. I opened. In front of me was Tom. Standing there dripping wet with pleading eyes, soft skin and red luscious lips. “Please,” he pleaded, “may I come in?” I nodded once, to frozen up to speak. He walked in and I closed the door behind him. For a long time we stared at each other to ashamed to speak. He was wearing a heavy black coat which he shook off and revealed a black suit. He looked very posh. I was still in shock to speak so I did not move. I could feel myself swaying and I felt sick. He took one step towards me and then another. I did not move. He took two maybe three more. I

did not move. He took another, and was standing in front of me. My eyes never left his. His hand gently moved up to my face and he stroked my cheeks. It was warm. His thumb wiped away the tears from my eyes. He lent down towards me and my heart stopped. And then they touched me. His lips gently caressing mine. I put my hands around his neck and kissed him back. And soon we were tumbling onto the floor amongst our coats we had dropped. In the months that followed Tom and I talked like we’d never talked before. He explained how he’d always loved me since he’d met me. I explained that I loved him too. We’re now happily married and living in a house with two kids, a boy and a girl. I’m happy, happier than I could have ever thought. It pains me to know that I had almost missed out on something so magical, so amazing. But Tom found me and I found love. True love. By Ro-ro X