Thriving Beyond Chronic Illness: Shared-intentional-healing Praxis
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SPECIAL REPORT
THRIVING BEYOND CHRONIC ILLNESS: SHARED-INTENTIONAL-HEALING™ PRAXIS by Malcolm F. Dayton, LPC, CHt ©2009
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LEGAL THIS PUBLICATION IS PROTECTED UNDER THE US COPYRIGHT ACT OF 1976 AND ALL OTHER APPLICABLE INTERNATIONAL, FEDERAL, STATE AND LOCAL LAWS, and all rights are reserved, including resale rights: you are not allowed to give or sell this Guide to anyone else. If you received this publication from anyone other than CoachingYourSelfHealing, you've received a pirated copy. Please contact us via e-mail at [email protected] and notify us of the situation. Please note that much of this publication is based on clinical and personal experiences and anecdotal evidence. Although the author has made every reasonable attempt to achieve complete accuracy of the content in this Guide, he assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions.
Also, you should use this information as you see fit, and at your own risk. Your particular situation may not be exactly suited to the examples illustrated here; in fact, it's likely that they won't be the same, and you should adjust your use of the information and recommendations accordingly. Any trademarks, service marks, product names or named features are assumed to be the property of their respective owners, and are used only for reference. Finally, nothing in this Guide is intended to replace common sense, legal, medical or other professional advice, and is meant to inform and entertain the reader. So have fun and learn with CoachingYourSelfHealing information.
Copyright © 2009 by MalcolmDayton, LPC, CHt. All rights reserved worldwide.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
YOUR COMPLEMENTARY COACHING SESSION .
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ANALYSIS .
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“YOUR” .
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“DAILY” .
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“SHARED” .
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“INTENTIONAL” .
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“HEALING” (beyond “being cured”) .
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“PRAXIS”
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PRAXIS GUIDELINES .
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8-STEP PRAXIS REVIEW .
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REFERENCES
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR .
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CONTACT INFORMATION
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YOUR COMPLEMENTARY COACHING SESSION The following report provides a detailed introduction to the foundation of effective principles and powerful tools that the author, Malcolm Dayton, LPC, Cht, has learned, developed and utilized in over 15 years of clinical work with individuals facing chronic illness. He has further honed his transformational approach by discovering what is effective in enhancing his own daily living while addressing chronic illness (asthma, immune deficiency, multiple sclerosis). Although Shared-Intentional-Healing™ (as described in this report) is a uniquely powerful activity to engage in your daily wellness arsenal, you can maximize your benefits and progress more rapidly by learning to systematically apply the broad range of Self Healing tools, techniques, and opportunities only available through Coaching Your Self Healing. If you would like to maximize your results, more quickly, you may participate multiple times each month in 1:1 coaching sessions: Sessions are tailored to your specific health and wellness situation, to your specific goals, and to your abilities. To experience how Your Self Healing Coaching will work for you, you may access your FREE Coaching Session (45 minutes in length) by clicking below:
Yes, Malcolm, I'm ready to discover the benefits of Self Healing Coaching NOW!
Sign me up now for my COMPLEMENTARY COACHING SESSION
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INTRODUCTION
Welcome to Coaching Your Self Healing (CYSH)! During your time with CYSH, you will have many opportunities to learn new and powerful, self healing tools which (when applied as you go through your daily living) will lead you directly to experience more happiness, health, well-being and ease; what I call, FULLIVING™ – that state of Being marked by THRIVING beyond chronic illness! How can I make such a bold statement? Because these are the same tools I've learned to apply over 4 decades to manage asthma, immune disorder, and multiple sclerosis. Moreover, these are the same skills I've taught hundreds of others with chronic illness over the recent 15 years of my clinical practice; and by applying these abilities daily, these folks too have learned to improve their daily living beyond chronic illness, to be FULLIVING™! Please take time to read through this report more than once. It is a rather quick read, yet so much of this information forms the foundation to your ongoing Self Healing as much as it also lays out the process for performing your sharedintentional-healing™ praxis. Do take the time to apply these principles to your own daily encounter with chronic illness. Skillfully applying the process described in this report, (together with the tools provided in the article series Empower Your Self to Heal Chronic Illness!), you will, at once, powerfully launch and accelerate your personal journey into Self Healing!
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Shared-Intentional-Healing™ Praxis One of the more powerful (and empowering) practices CYSH offers you is your daily Shared-Intentional-Healing™ Praxis (SIHP). This compelling activity provides various times throughout each day when you can stop the noise in your life and focus your attention (and intention) on FULLIVING™ for your Self, as well as for all the members of your CYSH community. At any of the scheduled times, you may take a break from the busyness of your day & take 5 to 15 minutes to send (& receive) shared, healing intentions in concert with all the other CYSH members. The details of “how to” participate in this shared activity are provided later in this report. Before jumping into the mechanics, however, we will first take a few moments to construct the foundation for your daily Shared-Intentional-Healing”™ Praxis. Doing so will assist you in better understanding and skillfully applying this empowering Self Healing approach. You may keep up-to-date on new or added information to this report by referring to the tri-monthly Your Self Healing Journey News (you receive as part of your CYSH membership), as well as by returning to the Coaching Your Self Healing blog
(http://www.CoachingSelfHealing.com/blog). Note: In this report, I use the word “self” in a capitalized form as “Self”. You may find a detailed account on this use of “Self” in the article Empower Your Self to Heal Chronic Illness, Part 1: Who is the "self" in Self Healing? For our purposes here, Self is that deep core of you; the essential being you were at birth, before defining yourself by the cultural identifiers thrust onto you growingup and beyond those you have used to create your place in the world.
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ANALYSIS of Your Daily Shared-Intentional-Healing™ Praxis “YOUR” First, this is truly YOUR activity. You may do this at whatever times you choose and on whatever days feel right for you. You may choose to participate once per day or more frequently on certain days. This is YOUR Self Healing program. You access the benefits by proactively participating in SIHP. FULLIVING™ benefits accrue as you routinely apply and participate in this approach. As you feel more comfortable and natural during your sessions, you may notice you are more relaxed and calm as you carry out the remainder of your day. Symptoms may seem less troubling, less intense, and easier to manage. You can notice an improvement in your general mood, and more felt-moments of happiness. The fact that you know you are participating not only for your own benefit, but the benefit of all other CYSH members will bring a smile to your face, and a meaningful sense of Self worth for giving so genuinely from your heart! You may also discover applying SIHP can help with the more difficult times you face. Imagine you have been participating in shared-intentional-healing™ sessions at about 1 session per day. Then, because of a virus or change in medications, you enter a more difficult period of heightened symptoms; perhaps leading to a drop-off in your participation. Two things to keep in mind here: 1. You may email me ([email protected]) to request other CYSH members keep YOU in our special intentions during the times we are Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 7 of 33
participating in SIHP each day. You do not need to provide identifying information, merely some information about your age, gender and what you may be going through at this time. This will assist other members to generate an image of who your are as we focus our healing intentions for you.
2. During these more challenging times, you may discover you can access even more energy and peace by actually increasing the number of times each day you participate in sessions. Please do test this out for yourself over time. This is not only your program, but the process itself is yours as well; that is, YOU define what intentional healing is for you, according to your history and experiences, your desires and goals. No person outside of you can clarify the means by which you define and measure healing progress; nor what results or goals are more or less important to you as you apply the skills you learn in the Coaching Your Self Healing program. The steps outlined later in this report are merely guidelines to assist you in participating in your daily Shared-Intentional-Healing™ Praxis. They serve as guides, suggestions to help you get started: You will find your own unique way to participate – the way that simply works best for you. So please do explore the process, play with it, and have fun! Whenever you do come across some variation that is particularly beneficial, please send it along to me ([email protected]) so I may pass it along to benefit other members in our CYSH community.
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“DAILY” You may choose among eight times each day to participate in this practice: 9:00 AM & PM EST, 12:00 AM & PM EST, 3:00 AM & PM EST, and 6:00 AM & PM EST. The eight times are provided in order for CYSH members from around the globe to participate at a convenient time in your time zone, as well as convenient to your schedule around the clock each day. Clearly, you may participate at any of the session times regardless of your location. If for some reason, you cannot participate during any of these times, please do email me ([email protected]) so I may be informed of any scheduling problems that I am not currently taking into consideration. My goal here is to develop a daily schedule that works for everyone around the globe (and around the clock each day). To start out, I would encourage you to set a reminder alarm a few minutes before your scheduled time – at least until you have formed a comfortable habit of participating in the sessions. I will be present and participate during at least two sessions everyday, and I will rotate through session times each day. That way, at least every four days, you and I will be attending together at the same time. Please understand, however, there is never any expectation for you to participate at any particular time(s), nor on any given day. When you participate depends solely on your inner comfort and your positive intention when you do take part!
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Providing so many times is meant solely as a way to coordinate our attention and energies in synchrony with other community members. There is no need to be concerned about the “right” time to participate. As already noted, your energies are better-focused on being-present, your comfort, and on positive intention. There simply is no “right” time; just the time that is right for you. Another advantage of having eight scheduled times each day is to provide flexibility for you to adjust your participation in response to changes in your symptom experiences. As noted earlier, when going through more difficult symptomatic periods that are disrupting to your routine, participating in additional praxis times (rather than focusing on symptoms) may assist you with limiting intensity and duration of the exacerbation – particularly by generating more relaxation and rest. Still another helpful way you may consider your praxis “time” has been clarified by Einstein, physicists and spiritual leaders through history. What they have shown us is that “time” is a construct (a “box”), and is not really “out there” at all: Indeed, if “time” exists, it can only be NOW. Such a perspective can be extremely nourishing when considering what Deepak Chopra, MD, and Wayne Dyer, PhD, call the “gap”. The gap is that experience in which you are “centered” in the “silent space between thoughts”. When in the gap, you are at that “level of Being which is your essential state”1: This experience of being-in-the-gap is timeless – ”the womb of creation”2. It is within this state of experience that healing occurs. As you perform your praxis each day, you will naturally and directly begin to experience the timeless-being of the gap firsthand. Once you recognize this experience, you will realize that whatever time of day you actually participate in Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 10 of 33
SIHP, you are doing it in the same NOW as all other CYSH members – even though your session “clock times” differ throughout the day!
“SHARED” Remember, the key here is that you are surrounding your Self with the one heartbeat of all the other community members. Your attention, your energy, and your intentions are SHARED by all – just as their energies and intentions are shared with, and for, you. It is this attitude of sharing-with, a wholehearted giving-to, that is key to this approach. It is very simple: As you give from your heart-of-caring, so you will receive! Be comforted in knowing that by simply participating once a day (after even a few short days), you will begin to feel more comfortable, more at ease, more at peace now than you may have experienced in years! AND you know you are contributing to the FULLIVING™ of others; that is, contributing beyond wellbeing into the very heart of healing! Trust me when I say, your peace and your giving heart provide a strong (and necessary) foundation on which to build healing for each of us . . . and of all of us together!
“INTENTIONAL” So, what does it mean to be INTENTIONAL? One of the most helpful reviews of “intention” is provided by Wayne Dyer, PhD.3 In Dyer's The Power of Intention (2005), he describes how we may “wish” for something to occur in our lives, but such wishing is only a beginning. We may also choose to take the next step beyond wishing, to “desire”: Desire results in taking action on the wish, and is proactively distinct from wishing: It is Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 11 of 33
with desire that we now straight-forwardly make the “ask” (as in “ask and you shall receive”). Still again, we can step-up the intensity of our activity even more (beyond wishing and asking); that is, we may frame our desire in terms of what we actually “intend to create”. Stop here for a moment, close your eyes . . . and feel the power in these words! . . . I INTEND TO CREATE. Period. And again . . . I . . . INTEND . . . TO . . . CREATE . We are very matter-of-fact about bringing the thing wished for, desired, requested, into experience. No doubt. No fear. Creating healing now is simply a given that occurs by way of you actively participating. Period. Such intention-to-create, by definition, requires both commitment and passion. With commitment, we are beyond “trying” to make the thing happen, and instead, move into what I call devotion-to-creating (from the original French devovere “dedicated by a vow”). With such devotion, we experience a much deeper, more profound state of being . . . an awareness beyond ego. Devotion-to-creating allows you to act beyond the “oughts” and “shoulds” of others, beyond your own doubts and fears, beyond obligation and guilt, and directly to the heart of being inspired (“drawing in of air”, “inspirit”); that is, you are drawn into relation-with the powerful and empowering Source that creates.
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It is by being inspired that you meet the paradox at the heart of “intending”. As you proactively intend-to-create, you naturally come to experience being committed, devoted and inspired; however, you actually create only inasmuch as you allow your Self to follow the flow of your inspiration naturally – that is, as you open your Self to receive: Therefore, as you intend to heal, you must also open to receive healing. As such, it is important you recognize healing happens as you “get out of your own way”, beyond intellect, desire, doubt and ego. How do we do that? How do we get out of our own way beyond ego? Very simply, you do that by allowing your Self to trust your healing! Please take a moment here to recall a time when you were injured in some way (maybe a cut or broken bone). Beyond receiving necessary medical assistance, what did you do to mend, to heal? Once attended to medically, it's likely that you never gave the actual processes of “healing” much thought – dying cells cleared away, new cells forming and eventually performing as if they had been there all along, as if nothing ever happened. Healing just occurred: your part was to trust the process, take good care of yourself, and allow it. Whether conscious or not, you simply trusted yourself to heal! It is that same trust you must have as you now commit-to-create intentional healing. Your whole Self system “knows” how and what needs healing, and in what specific sequence of steps healing must occur. Self does not need the agreement of intellect or common sense to proceed naturally with healing. Self has been carrying out that process every nano-second of every day of your life – simultaneously coordinating trillions of biochemical and energetic activities in every cell of your entire being. Heart beats, lungs breath, intestines digest, and your job is simply to get out of your own way and trust your Self to heal! Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 13 of 33
As you do, alongside this intense Self-trust and commitment-to-create (our vow), passion takes over and leads the way . . . beyond common sense, beyond doubting intellect, beyond beliefs, and even beyond perceptions. Such intense passion, emanating from your heart, is very simply, “agape” (selfless Love). In this state, you no longer experience others as separate, bounded, subject-object (I-It); rather, you share together in a living, boundless oneness-of-relating, honoring the encounter by giving your present and your presence to the sacredness of “I-Thou”.4
Map of HEALING INTENTION I WISH I DESIRE (ASK)
I INTEND-TO-CREATE . INCLUDES
I COMMIT-TO-CREATE
(I Vow = Devotion-to-creating)
I AM PASSIONATE (I am Inspired)
PARADOX OF INTENDING (I Allow; I Receive; I Trust My Self to Heal)
I-THOU (Agape)
Figure ©2009 by MFDayton
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It is this deep experience of heartfelt passion and selfless Love you are aiming to access directly (and share!) when you intend from the heart, when you are performing your shared-intentional-healing™ praxis. So once again, stop for a moment now to imagine: Imagine the tremendous healing power at your disposal when you step into your shared session each day with the intention-to-create healing! It means you are committing to heal, vowing to heal, trusting your Self to heal, by way of your impassioned heart: You are giving your presence to merge as one-heartbeat in synchrony and selfless love with all other CYSH members in this moment now! Therein lies the true power of your healing intention!
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“HEALING” (beyond “being cured”) Clearly, what we intend to create during each praxis is HEALING; your healing, healing for other members, my healing, and our healing together as one. Yet, do you really know what you mean when you say “I intend to heal”? Whenever we take time to reflect on the notion of “healing”, typically one of the first things that bubbles up into awareness is some hope of being “cured”. Given the difficulties and challenges we can face in just making it through even the most simple of daily activities, “cure” can be so very inviting! Indeed, given the opportunity, who of us wouldn't want to be cured of a chronic illness? And cured NOW! Yet, by seeking to “be cured”, we can become entrenched in even more intense challenges and symptom exacerbation! . . . How could that be? What could possibly be wrong with hoping for a cure? There is nothing wrong with hoping, dreaming, goal setting. Indeed, these activities can provide momentum, power, purpose, and direction to an otherwise difficult day. Yet, the moment we turn our attention to “being cured”, our focus immediately comes to rest on that which we desire to be “cured of”, to “get away from”; and it is here we become derailed. It's like the age-old challenge to “not think of a blue elephant”: We must first conceive such a beast before we cannot think about it. So too with “cure” – We must first converge our attention and energies even more intensely on the illness and the symptoms we wish to cease. Clearly, this activity takes us in the opposite direction from the relief and health we are
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seeking! In fact, it is the same process described by Cheri Huber in one of her more remarkable books entitled That Which You Are Seeking Is Causing You To Seek (1990). Take a moment now to think about her title in relation to “The cure I am seeking is . . . ” In short, to focus on cure heightens our experience of dis-ease! To clarify even further, when we focus on such moving-away-from-activities, we have no clear vision of what it is we are moving toward! Without such clarity, our odds of failing escalate exponentially. Success happens only as we also move toward clearly-defined desires and goals. A simple, yet powerful example is this year's 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing. Was that “giant step” successful because the leaders at NASA focused energy solely on how to create escape velocity to “get away from” earth – or also on how to get onto the moon? Another helpful example is wanting “out of” a job. I'm sure you know of someone (perhaps yourself) intent on getting away from the daily grind of his/her job. Yet, when s/he did successfully leave that employment, inevitably and much too soon, the same situation landslides into the daily grind of the next job. Repeating old patterns of struggle is a very clear sign of actions based on moving-awayfrom goals: This is a key principle to apply to all aspects of your daily living. The reason this occurs with the get-me-outta-here script is that whatever change may happen, generally does so from “without”. At best, we change scenery: It's the old grass-is-greener scenario – which is really no change at all. The inherent problem here can be even more perilous, as we see when we take a closer look at the wording “being cured”: We tend to redirect our attention from within (our source of creative power) to some force outside that causes the cure for us (whether that be by way of a physician, a healer, natural substances, Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 17 of 33
medications, treatments, or God). On some level, we tell ourselves, if I could figure out what was happening to get into this situation (i.e., chronic illness), I would be able to figure out how to get out of it; but (and here's the rub) since I can't, I begin to believe less and less in my innate healing power, and more and more that such power must lie outside of me – with an outside force greater than me (whether medical, natural, or spiritual). Please be clear on this point: This is not to underplay the importance of qualified medical professionals to your progress. The same is true of the importance and value of your spirituality and relation-with God, Source, Higher Power. The point to take away here is that you can only access the benefits of such healing relations when YOU are first centered and strong in your own being – when you approach your Self as a sacred Thou! Therefore, in the situation where you reflexively turn over your power to heal (to an outside agent), understand the ensuing damage you risk to your sense of Self. Not only are you diminishing belief in your inherent strength and healing power, you are also at risk of allowing others to determine what is best for your wellbeing (perhaps even against your deeper, intuitive knowing); all of which only serves to further undermine Self-esteem and the tremendous power that comes from believing in your Self. Even our religious upbringing can paradoxically weaken our beliefs regarding the possibility of cure. We learn at a deep level that “cure” lies only in the realm of the miraculous. Such an orientation can weaken belief in the possibility of “me being cured now”. In fact, when being completely honest, many of us feel the odds of “me being cured now” are as slim or slimmer than winning a million dollar Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 18 of 33
lottery. And when it does not happen, we're faced with the more daunting issue of how I must somehow be “flawed”. Clearly, such underlying attitudes provide no foundation on which to construct change, much less the dramatic change required with the desire to “be cured”. [Here, I recommend another Huber book: There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate (2001)] In the end, when focused on “being cured”, you may not only become separate from your innate healing power within, but you risk the ultimate medical mistreatment; becoming an object to be worked-on mechanically! From here, it can be a rapid slide into the role of “victim”, whereby you relinquish your responsibility for choosing altogether (i.e., intending-to-create) how it is you truly desire to be! In short, you risk losing the creative power of intention required to give birth to healing. By the mid eighties, I had been on daily prednisone for over a decade to control severe bouts of status asthmaticus and recurrent pneumonia. Because the deleterious side-effects of prednisone included adrenal insufficiency (an impaired stress response), I knew in my heart-of-hearts, one key to my well-being lay in recovering my atrophied stress axis by discontinuing daily prednisone. For years, I pleaded with my pulmonary specialist to assist me in tapering off and relearning how to live prednisone-free. Together, we did make a few unsuccessful attempts, only to recycle back into another respiratory infection and still higher doses of prednisone. By this time, his posture was that I needed to remain on daily prednisone “for the rest of my life”: My posture was to fire him. Fortunately, and in short-order, I began working with an internist, who over the next two years, laid out a plan to become prednisone-free – which we did together successfully. Two significant points must be clearly recognized here:
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1. You must believe in your innate healing power; and if you do not currently, this then becomes your launch pad for your healing journey – relearning to empower your Self to heal! 2. You are not in this alone: You require the good works of others, in alignment with you, to successfully heal. As such, you need to be very selective in picking those others with whom you relate to enhance your medical well-being. If you are feeling your medical support is sapping your power and authority, they probably are; but you don't throw the baby out with the bath. This is not about releasing physicians, this is about being in a healing relationship-with your medical professional(s) of choice! Additional cultural biases arise with a focus on “cure”. Any true change with regard to chronic illness implies a change “for the better”: That requires us to believe with certainty that such change can and will bring improvement. After more than fifteen years working with individuals with chronic illness (including my Self), it is the rare individual I've encountered who truly believes (from the core) “I will be cured”; We wish for cure, certainly; but believing with certainty “I will be cured” . . . rarely. An origin of not believing in “being cured” lies in the way we traditionally use the term. One problem in particular is that “cure” is not a “now” concept -- that is, something I trust to experience now; rather, we tend to use “cure” in a futureoriented manner of hoping-for-something-to-happen or (at-best) asking-for, maybe praying for, cure to happen. Yet, it is not in the future that you and I create anything; and this is particularly relevant to healing: We only create in the NOW. Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 20 of 33
Finally, even greater issues arise when we attempt to determine precisely what we mean by the term “cure”. As one example, are you cured when there is “an end to the disease process”? . . . or could that be “remission”? Does “cure” mean a “return to full functioning” (i.e., as I was before the process started)? Is that even possible? Consider the case of a disease process that has already resulted in disfigurement or amputation: What does “cure” mean in those situations? Does “cure” mean “symptoms are gone”? If so, are we then cured when medications relieve or mask the symptoms altogether? Do you understand the quagmire here? It is for all these reasons above that few people are ever truly “cured” of anything; even if we do allow for those who have experienced “miracle cures” (which are certainly the exception, not the norm). Yet, when you and I consider “my situation now”, we need to have the strength of certainty that improvement is not only possible, but immanent! So, if not “cure”, then what? You already know the answer: And the answer is “healing”. In the end, if “cure” is anything, it is a future-oriented, disempowering, mechanical phenomenon at the physical level. In contrast, “healing” is an ongoing process (in this moment) of whole-Self transformation. Consider, when we truly and proactively “heal”, we are creating (now) from the very depths of our core within. We are intending-to-create with all the intensity and power of commitment, passion, and agape that arises in creative transformation. It is this innate source of inner power to which we must first Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 21 of 33
return “as little children” in order to initiate healing! We mask nothing when healing now; rather, we take an active and response-able role in bringing peace, joy, and love directly into our daily lives and the lives of those we touch . . . NOW, this moment, and in as many moments as we allow! It is from this strong, shared, intentional, healing foundation that we live with the most power any human being can possibly experience. . . in alignment with, in IThou relation-with, in the selfless Love that is the very Source of all creation! This process of transformational healing envelops and extends beyond cure at any level; and, unlike “cure”, it is not some static condition at which we arrive (by the grace of some outside, benevolent authority). Rather, such transformational healing, is an ongoing process of BEING-a-certain-way . . . in strength, in power, in wisdom, in loving relation-with (not only Self, but Source, God, Higher Power)! Let this, loving, empowered healing be the deep transformation you intend – your moment-to-moment, empowered healing transformation from core within!
“PRAXIS” We finally come to the term PRAXIS. Clients often ask why I use “praxis” rather than something more familiar, like “practice” or “exercise”. My answer is very simple and straight-forward. First, we can quickly dispense with the term “exercise”. Do you really want to “exercise” intentional healing each day – or would you rather just skip having to exercise any more than you already know you need to do? Enough said.
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Now, imagine I invite you to “please make sure and practice your intentional healing each day”: How do you feel then? For me, it brings up that I must not be very good at it, especially if I need to be practicing every day. Consider now how you feel when I invite you to “skillfully apply” the intentional healing process in comfort. Doesn't “skillful application” feel much more empowering than “practicing”. Since “praxis” means “skillful application”, isn't it much more inviting to approach your intentional healing sessions with skill? . . . And you will as you become more comfortable applying the process each day. Other folks also ask if shared-intentional-healing™ wouldn't be better considered an “experiment”, much like Lynn McTaggart's The Intention Experiment (2007). I can see how the notion of an “experiment” carries with it some sense of intrigue, but “experiment” does not accurately represent the experience that is sharedintentional-healing™. First (as we learned in our discussion of “intentional” above), when we participate in Shared-Intentional-Healing™, we are, as a matter-of-fact, intending-to-create healing. Such activity cannot be an “experiment” or we lose the certainty required for healing change. Rather, we set out to generate an experience-ofrelating that is powered by being committed, empassioned and selflessly loving! You can likely identify such a committed, passionate, selflessly loving experience from some time in your life – whether in love, among family, through an impassioned hobby, in seeking some goal, or perhaps, spiritually.
As you already
know, such an experience is not something we wish-for or hope-for or need to wait and see what happens: It is simply a loving, relating-with experience we already know how to have. We just be it and do it.
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Moreover (as I suggested above), there is palpable transformation that occurs within each of us as we gain comfort participating in shared-intentional-healing™. This transformational experience happens through your participation, and it will happen for you – no need to experiment; just simply participate. Moreover, at the heart of it, the notion of “experiment” does not accurately reflect the research to date on “intention” and “healing”. As an example, a 1997 review of research on “Intercessory Prayer for the Alleviation of Ill Health” by Roberts, Ahmed, Hall, & Davison reports ". . . individual studies suggest a positive effect of intercessory prayer." But, since they viewed other reports in which the results were equivocal, they conclude no “. . . further trials of this intervention should be taken”.5 Regrettably, they miss the point. The fact that studies DO exist reporting a positive correlation between intercessory prayer and the alleviation of ill health, is precisely the reason more studies should be undertaken! Edison found hundreds of approaches that were equivocal before discovering a singular lighting solution: Thank goodness he did not conclude any further trials were unnecessary before arriving at that solution! When it comes to this uniquely intimate subject of healing, Eric Leskowitz, MD, (in a review of the book Healing, Intention, & Energy Medicine (2002) by Wayne Jonas, MD) explains how such conflicting conclusions like Roberts etal come about. Dr. Leskowitz notes, when he is in discussions with his allopathic medical colleagues regarding “. . . inexplicable phenomena like energy healing or intercessory prayer, . . . a sort of allopathic fear reflex kicks in”.6 Conclusions become tunnel-visioned and skewed against even the possibility of such correlation existing anywhere at any time. Hence, no further trials . . .
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You may, however, verify for yourself such positively-correlated research does indeed already exist, by reviewing the studies in Jonas' book (above). In addition, Marilyn Schlitz, PhD, provides a brief outline of just some of those “positive correlation” studies that highlight the “interface of science, spirituality, and medicine”.7 If you would like an even more in-depth review, I refer you to Consciousness & Healing: Integral Approaches to Mind-Body Medicine (2005) by Schlitz, Amorok and Micozzi, as well as the more recent (2008) Holistic Nursing: A Handbook for Practice, 5th edition by Dossey & Keegan. In sum, although experimental research has certainly not provided the final answers on the relation between intention and healing, the research to date is most certainly beyond the “equivocal” suggested by those reflexively reacting from allopathic fear. Those studies completed to date which do display a positive correlation between intention and healing are already providing a strong, practical foundation of powerful techniques and approaches that go far beyond “experimenting”, and straight to the heart of skillful-application in daily living: Shared-Intentional-Healing”™ is just one such approach you may access today and everyday . . . simply by participating in your daily praxis. With the above foundation in mind, we can now move on to . . .
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PRAXIS GUIDELINES Having considered in some depth the foundation on which this method rests, we may now turn to the guidelines describing “how to” participate in your daily Shared-Intentional-Healing™ Praxis. Before you approach your first intentional session, please read through the description and suggestions below. Remember, these opportunities are for YOU, to BENEFIT YOU! Again, there is no "right way" nor "wrong way" for you to participate: You simply participate in your own best way. Therefore, as noted previously, the description below is solely meant as a guided outline to assist you in jump-starting your participation – sharing with you some ideas that have already worked well for others in our Community.
For this to be beneficial for everyone, please do your best to allot at least 5 to 15 minutes for each intentional session. If you are already seasoned at sitting in quiet, you certainly may choose to go longer (e.g. :30), and you can trust there are other CYSH members continuing in synchrony with you.
To start out, let your sessions be for shorter periods of time: You will experience a natural increase in length of participation without having to think about it or plan for it. This is not a race, nor a test of endurance. This is a nourishing of Self and a cultivation of your best healing intentions. Be gentle.
In the beginning, it can also be helpful if you imagine sending out your healing intentions in a particular direction around the globe, and returning to you from the opposite direction. This way, as you imagine, can assist you in creating a Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 26 of 33
“flow” with regard to directing intentional healing to all others around the globe. As you become more adept, you will very naturally be able to generate healing images radiating from your whole being, equally in all directions. You will become aware there is no particular “up/down” in space-time: There is just “everywhere here” that is always at the center of the universe – as you are at all times, and as is each member.
Finally, please know you may also invite your friends and loved ones to share with you in these sessions. If they cannot participate with you, ask them (at minimum) to set their healing intention for you, and send it like a gift to you each day: This can be helpful to them as well, knowing they are actively supporting you with their selfless, loving healing.
So, let us begin with a session description. I have broken it down into 8 separate action steps below:
1. First, make time to just sit and be comfortable (nothing “to do” now). Loosen any tight clothing.
2. Begin breathing slowly until you relax into a comfortable, natural pace. This is a time for gentleness: Simply allow experience to happen, and follow experience moment-to-moment as you proceed.
3. Slowly scan your entire being from head to toes, inside and out. If you notice any part of you in tension, just allow it to relax naturally and dissolve with each out-breath. Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 27 of 33
Note: It may take you 2 or more breathing cycles to notice the muscles in a particular area begin to relax. There are times as well, when you may just need to continue on with your scan, trusting that the area will release as you proceed. Again, this is time for gentle following.
4. Once relaxed (as much as may be possible for now), INVITE your Self to allow and receive healing intention and healing love.
Note: This may not feel natural or normal within; and like a child, the knee-jerk reaction may indeed be to rebel. You are merely sending an invitation; nothing more. As you repeat this intentional healing invitation each day, you will soon begin to notice that you are indeed looking forward to this opportunity.
5. You are now comfortable, relaxed, and intentional within. It is time now to image all the other CYSH Members with whom you are sharing this time. Know they too are seeking to generate healing for your challenges, just as you are for theirs. Depending on your beliefs, it is here that you may also invite, connect with, your source of spiritual power (God, Source, Higher Power, Buddha) to participate with you.
6. Spend the next minutes imagining a Circle of Intentional Healing Energy flowing into you from all the others and out from you to all others. Allow it to be easy, natural, like the earth’s flow of water circulating from sky to earth and back to sky; simply relax into this flow. Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 28 of 33
Note: It may help to imagine your healing intentions emanating from about 2 finger-widths behind, and about 3 finger-widths below, your navel: This site (known as the “lower dan tien” or “hara”) is considered the physical center of gravity, around which you are in perfect balance.
From this point, you can imagine healing intention flowing up your trunk, through your neck and head, and out the top of your head to the other CYSH members.
The healing intention returning to you can be experienced as coming into you at the same center of gravity point from which you started.
Important! Do not attempt to localize your intentions to any one region within (brain, heart, liver, etc); the reason being that a given illness process occurs across and between physiological systems (even though we may talk as if it is "isolated" to one system). It is best to imagine your entire Self within a cocoon or bubble of flowing, healing intention – everywhere within you at once. You may experience color, warmth, safety. Luxuriate in your experience. Enjoy the moment.
During this intentional time, it can also be helpful on a given in/out cycle of breath to silently express "I send out Loving Healing": On the next in/out cycle, silently express "I receive Loving Healing", and so on.
In addition, if your mind wanders off task (& it will), just gently return to the flow of loving, healing intention. Remember, this experience is all about being gentle. Enjoy the process. Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 29 of 33
Continue in this state for as long as you desire, and is easy, comfortable and natural. With practice, your will naturally be at ease for longer periods of time during each session.
7. When complete, express gratitude to your Self, as well as to all others sharing in this moment with you! Sit in this experience of gratitude for a few moments.
8. Savor the nourishing peace you have generated!
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8-STEP PRAXIS REVIEW 1.
SIT in comfort;
2.
BREATHE slowly, rhythmically;
3.
SCAN (head to toes) to relax further still;
4.
INVITE SELF to allow healing intention;
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RELATE-WITH all other CYSH members & Spiritual Power;
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SEND/RECEIVE intentional healing; “I send out Loving Healing” /
7.
Sit in GRATITUDE;
8.
SAVOR the nourishing peace!
“I receive Loving Healing”
I genuinely look forward to your daily participation, and to sharing this powerful healing process with you. I would love to hear your experiences with your praxis. Please do feel free to email me ([email protected])
My mission is to Coach You Well! Sincerely & Caringly,
MALCOLM Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 31 of 33
REFERENCES 1
Chopra, Deepak (1994): The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success – A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams, p76.
2
Chopra, Deepak (1999): A Deepak Chopra Companion: Illuminations on Health and Human Consciousness, p94.
3
Dyer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DC-FPorUW7g&feature=related
4
Buber, Martin (1971): I And Thou
5
Intercessory prayer: http://www.cochrane.org/reviews/en/ab000368.html
6
Leskowitz: http://wholistichealingresearch.com/42books12
7
Schlitz: http://xnet.kp.org/permanentejournal/sum05/evidence.pdf ©2009byMFDayton
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Malcolm Dayton, LPC, Cht is a Licensed Counselor with more than two decades coaching individuals and families facing chronic illness. He is also certified in MindBody Medicine and Hypnotherapy. Malcolm's Coaching Self Healing program is unique in that he calls on his own lifelong journey with chronic illness (multiple sclerosis, asthma, immune deficiency) to assist you in accessing your, unique healing solutions. Very simply, Malcolm walks his coaching! His coaching program is truly "integral"-- that is, healing solutions are practical in focus and applied comprehensively, incorporating all dimensions of your experience; from symptoms to wellness, from relations within self to social relations, from the physical to spiritual--a truly ecological approach to Self Healing. You learn to be FULLIVING™ – to thrive beyond chronic illness! Malcolm's mission is to Coach You WELL!
CONTACT Malcolm Dayton, LPC, CHt email: [email protected] phone: 970-689-4247
Yes, Malcolm, I'm ready to discover the benefits of Self Healing Coaching NOW!
Sign me up now for my COMPLEMENTARY COACHING SESSION
Be Well And THRIVE Beyond Chronic Illness Now !
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THRIVING BEYOND CHRONIC ILLNESS: SHARED-INTENTIONAL-HEALING™ PRAXIS by Malcolm F. Dayton, LPC, CHt ©2009
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LEGAL THIS PUBLICATION IS PROTECTED UNDER THE US COPYRIGHT ACT OF 1976 AND ALL OTHER APPLICABLE INTERNATIONAL, FEDERAL, STATE AND LOCAL LAWS, and all rights are reserved, including resale rights: you are not allowed to give or sell this Guide to anyone else. If you received this publication from anyone other than CoachingYourSelfHealing, you've received a pirated copy. Please contact us via e-mail at [email protected] and notify us of the situation. Please note that much of this publication is based on clinical and personal experiences and anecdotal evidence. Although the author has made every reasonable attempt to achieve complete accuracy of the content in this Guide, he assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions.
Also, you should use this information as you see fit, and at your own risk. Your particular situation may not be exactly suited to the examples illustrated here; in fact, it's likely that they won't be the same, and you should adjust your use of the information and recommendations accordingly. Any trademarks, service marks, product names or named features are assumed to be the property of their respective owners, and are used only for reference. Finally, nothing in this Guide is intended to replace common sense, legal, medical or other professional advice, and is meant to inform and entertain the reader. So have fun and learn with CoachingYourSelfHealing information.
Copyright © 2009 by MalcolmDayton, LPC, CHt. All rights reserved worldwide.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
YOUR COMPLEMENTARY COACHING SESSION .
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“HEALING” (beyond “being cured”) .
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YOUR COMPLEMENTARY COACHING SESSION The following report provides a detailed introduction to the foundation of effective principles and powerful tools that the author, Malcolm Dayton, LPC, Cht, has learned, developed and utilized in over 15 years of clinical work with individuals facing chronic illness. He has further honed his transformational approach by discovering what is effective in enhancing his own daily living while addressing chronic illness (asthma, immune deficiency, multiple sclerosis). Although Shared-Intentional-Healing™ (as described in this report) is a uniquely powerful activity to engage in your daily wellness arsenal, you can maximize your benefits and progress more rapidly by learning to systematically apply the broad range of Self Healing tools, techniques, and opportunities only available through Coaching Your Self Healing. If you would like to maximize your results, more quickly, you may participate multiple times each month in 1:1 coaching sessions: Sessions are tailored to your specific health and wellness situation, to your specific goals, and to your abilities. To experience how Your Self Healing Coaching will work for you, you may access your FREE Coaching Session (45 minutes in length) by clicking below:
Yes, Malcolm, I'm ready to discover the benefits of Self Healing Coaching NOW!
Sign me up now for my COMPLEMENTARY COACHING SESSION
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INTRODUCTION
Welcome to Coaching Your Self Healing (CYSH)! During your time with CYSH, you will have many opportunities to learn new and powerful, self healing tools which (when applied as you go through your daily living) will lead you directly to experience more happiness, health, well-being and ease; what I call, FULLIVING™ – that state of Being marked by THRIVING beyond chronic illness! How can I make such a bold statement? Because these are the same tools I've learned to apply over 4 decades to manage asthma, immune disorder, and multiple sclerosis. Moreover, these are the same skills I've taught hundreds of others with chronic illness over the recent 15 years of my clinical practice; and by applying these abilities daily, these folks too have learned to improve their daily living beyond chronic illness, to be FULLIVING™! Please take time to read through this report more than once. It is a rather quick read, yet so much of this information forms the foundation to your ongoing Self Healing as much as it also lays out the process for performing your sharedintentional-healing™ praxis. Do take the time to apply these principles to your own daily encounter with chronic illness. Skillfully applying the process described in this report, (together with the tools provided in the article series Empower Your Self to Heal Chronic Illness!), you will, at once, powerfully launch and accelerate your personal journey into Self Healing!
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Shared-Intentional-Healing™ Praxis One of the more powerful (and empowering) practices CYSH offers you is your daily Shared-Intentional-Healing™ Praxis (SIHP). This compelling activity provides various times throughout each day when you can stop the noise in your life and focus your attention (and intention) on FULLIVING™ for your Self, as well as for all the members of your CYSH community. At any of the scheduled times, you may take a break from the busyness of your day & take 5 to 15 minutes to send (& receive) shared, healing intentions in concert with all the other CYSH members. The details of “how to” participate in this shared activity are provided later in this report. Before jumping into the mechanics, however, we will first take a few moments to construct the foundation for your daily Shared-Intentional-Healing”™ Praxis. Doing so will assist you in better understanding and skillfully applying this empowering Self Healing approach. You may keep up-to-date on new or added information to this report by referring to the tri-monthly Your Self Healing Journey News (you receive as part of your CYSH membership), as well as by returning to the Coaching Your Self Healing blog
(http://www.CoachingSelfHealing.com/blog). Note: In this report, I use the word “self” in a capitalized form as “Self”. You may find a detailed account on this use of “Self” in the article Empower Your Self to Heal Chronic Illness, Part 1: Who is the "self" in Self Healing? For our purposes here, Self is that deep core of you; the essential being you were at birth, before defining yourself by the cultural identifiers thrust onto you growingup and beyond those you have used to create your place in the world.
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ANALYSIS of Your Daily Shared-Intentional-Healing™ Praxis “YOUR” First, this is truly YOUR activity. You may do this at whatever times you choose and on whatever days feel right for you. You may choose to participate once per day or more frequently on certain days. This is YOUR Self Healing program. You access the benefits by proactively participating in SIHP. FULLIVING™ benefits accrue as you routinely apply and participate in this approach. As you feel more comfortable and natural during your sessions, you may notice you are more relaxed and calm as you carry out the remainder of your day. Symptoms may seem less troubling, less intense, and easier to manage. You can notice an improvement in your general mood, and more felt-moments of happiness. The fact that you know you are participating not only for your own benefit, but the benefit of all other CYSH members will bring a smile to your face, and a meaningful sense of Self worth for giving so genuinely from your heart! You may also discover applying SIHP can help with the more difficult times you face. Imagine you have been participating in shared-intentional-healing™ sessions at about 1 session per day. Then, because of a virus or change in medications, you enter a more difficult period of heightened symptoms; perhaps leading to a drop-off in your participation. Two things to keep in mind here: 1. You may email me ([email protected]) to request other CYSH members keep YOU in our special intentions during the times we are Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 7 of 33
participating in SIHP each day. You do not need to provide identifying information, merely some information about your age, gender and what you may be going through at this time. This will assist other members to generate an image of who your are as we focus our healing intentions for you.
2. During these more challenging times, you may discover you can access even more energy and peace by actually increasing the number of times each day you participate in sessions. Please do test this out for yourself over time. This is not only your program, but the process itself is yours as well; that is, YOU define what intentional healing is for you, according to your history and experiences, your desires and goals. No person outside of you can clarify the means by which you define and measure healing progress; nor what results or goals are more or less important to you as you apply the skills you learn in the Coaching Your Self Healing program. The steps outlined later in this report are merely guidelines to assist you in participating in your daily Shared-Intentional-Healing™ Praxis. They serve as guides, suggestions to help you get started: You will find your own unique way to participate – the way that simply works best for you. So please do explore the process, play with it, and have fun! Whenever you do come across some variation that is particularly beneficial, please send it along to me ([email protected]) so I may pass it along to benefit other members in our CYSH community.
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“DAILY” You may choose among eight times each day to participate in this practice: 9:00 AM & PM EST, 12:00 AM & PM EST, 3:00 AM & PM EST, and 6:00 AM & PM EST. The eight times are provided in order for CYSH members from around the globe to participate at a convenient time in your time zone, as well as convenient to your schedule around the clock each day. Clearly, you may participate at any of the session times regardless of your location. If for some reason, you cannot participate during any of these times, please do email me ([email protected]) so I may be informed of any scheduling problems that I am not currently taking into consideration. My goal here is to develop a daily schedule that works for everyone around the globe (and around the clock each day). To start out, I would encourage you to set a reminder alarm a few minutes before your scheduled time – at least until you have formed a comfortable habit of participating in the sessions. I will be present and participate during at least two sessions everyday, and I will rotate through session times each day. That way, at least every four days, you and I will be attending together at the same time. Please understand, however, there is never any expectation for you to participate at any particular time(s), nor on any given day. When you participate depends solely on your inner comfort and your positive intention when you do take part!
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Providing so many times is meant solely as a way to coordinate our attention and energies in synchrony with other community members. There is no need to be concerned about the “right” time to participate. As already noted, your energies are better-focused on being-present, your comfort, and on positive intention. There simply is no “right” time; just the time that is right for you. Another advantage of having eight scheduled times each day is to provide flexibility for you to adjust your participation in response to changes in your symptom experiences. As noted earlier, when going through more difficult symptomatic periods that are disrupting to your routine, participating in additional praxis times (rather than focusing on symptoms) may assist you with limiting intensity and duration of the exacerbation – particularly by generating more relaxation and rest. Still another helpful way you may consider your praxis “time” has been clarified by Einstein, physicists and spiritual leaders through history. What they have shown us is that “time” is a construct (a “box”), and is not really “out there” at all: Indeed, if “time” exists, it can only be NOW. Such a perspective can be extremely nourishing when considering what Deepak Chopra, MD, and Wayne Dyer, PhD, call the “gap”. The gap is that experience in which you are “centered” in the “silent space between thoughts”. When in the gap, you are at that “level of Being which is your essential state”1: This experience of being-in-the-gap is timeless – ”the womb of creation”2. It is within this state of experience that healing occurs. As you perform your praxis each day, you will naturally and directly begin to experience the timeless-being of the gap firsthand. Once you recognize this experience, you will realize that whatever time of day you actually participate in Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 10 of 33
SIHP, you are doing it in the same NOW as all other CYSH members – even though your session “clock times” differ throughout the day!
“SHARED” Remember, the key here is that you are surrounding your Self with the one heartbeat of all the other community members. Your attention, your energy, and your intentions are SHARED by all – just as their energies and intentions are shared with, and for, you. It is this attitude of sharing-with, a wholehearted giving-to, that is key to this approach. It is very simple: As you give from your heart-of-caring, so you will receive! Be comforted in knowing that by simply participating once a day (after even a few short days), you will begin to feel more comfortable, more at ease, more at peace now than you may have experienced in years! AND you know you are contributing to the FULLIVING™ of others; that is, contributing beyond wellbeing into the very heart of healing! Trust me when I say, your peace and your giving heart provide a strong (and necessary) foundation on which to build healing for each of us . . . and of all of us together!
“INTENTIONAL” So, what does it mean to be INTENTIONAL? One of the most helpful reviews of “intention” is provided by Wayne Dyer, PhD.3 In Dyer's The Power of Intention (2005), he describes how we may “wish” for something to occur in our lives, but such wishing is only a beginning. We may also choose to take the next step beyond wishing, to “desire”: Desire results in taking action on the wish, and is proactively distinct from wishing: It is Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 11 of 33
with desire that we now straight-forwardly make the “ask” (as in “ask and you shall receive”). Still again, we can step-up the intensity of our activity even more (beyond wishing and asking); that is, we may frame our desire in terms of what we actually “intend to create”. Stop here for a moment, close your eyes . . . and feel the power in these words! . . . I INTEND TO CREATE. Period. And again . . . I . . . INTEND . . . TO . . . CREATE . We are very matter-of-fact about bringing the thing wished for, desired, requested, into experience. No doubt. No fear. Creating healing now is simply a given that occurs by way of you actively participating. Period. Such intention-to-create, by definition, requires both commitment and passion. With commitment, we are beyond “trying” to make the thing happen, and instead, move into what I call devotion-to-creating (from the original French devovere “dedicated by a vow”). With such devotion, we experience a much deeper, more profound state of being . . . an awareness beyond ego. Devotion-to-creating allows you to act beyond the “oughts” and “shoulds” of others, beyond your own doubts and fears, beyond obligation and guilt, and directly to the heart of being inspired (“drawing in of air”, “inspirit”); that is, you are drawn into relation-with the powerful and empowering Source that creates.
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It is by being inspired that you meet the paradox at the heart of “intending”. As you proactively intend-to-create, you naturally come to experience being committed, devoted and inspired; however, you actually create only inasmuch as you allow your Self to follow the flow of your inspiration naturally – that is, as you open your Self to receive: Therefore, as you intend to heal, you must also open to receive healing. As such, it is important you recognize healing happens as you “get out of your own way”, beyond intellect, desire, doubt and ego. How do we do that? How do we get out of our own way beyond ego? Very simply, you do that by allowing your Self to trust your healing! Please take a moment here to recall a time when you were injured in some way (maybe a cut or broken bone). Beyond receiving necessary medical assistance, what did you do to mend, to heal? Once attended to medically, it's likely that you never gave the actual processes of “healing” much thought – dying cells cleared away, new cells forming and eventually performing as if they had been there all along, as if nothing ever happened. Healing just occurred: your part was to trust the process, take good care of yourself, and allow it. Whether conscious or not, you simply trusted yourself to heal! It is that same trust you must have as you now commit-to-create intentional healing. Your whole Self system “knows” how and what needs healing, and in what specific sequence of steps healing must occur. Self does not need the agreement of intellect or common sense to proceed naturally with healing. Self has been carrying out that process every nano-second of every day of your life – simultaneously coordinating trillions of biochemical and energetic activities in every cell of your entire being. Heart beats, lungs breath, intestines digest, and your job is simply to get out of your own way and trust your Self to heal! Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 13 of 33
As you do, alongside this intense Self-trust and commitment-to-create (our vow), passion takes over and leads the way . . . beyond common sense, beyond doubting intellect, beyond beliefs, and even beyond perceptions. Such intense passion, emanating from your heart, is very simply, “agape” (selfless Love). In this state, you no longer experience others as separate, bounded, subject-object (I-It); rather, you share together in a living, boundless oneness-of-relating, honoring the encounter by giving your present and your presence to the sacredness of “I-Thou”.4
Map of HEALING INTENTION I WISH I DESIRE (ASK)
I INTEND-TO-CREATE . INCLUDES
I COMMIT-TO-CREATE
(I Vow = Devotion-to-creating)
I AM PASSIONATE (I am Inspired)
PARADOX OF INTENDING (I Allow; I Receive; I Trust My Self to Heal)
I-THOU (Agape)
Figure ©2009 by MFDayton
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It is this deep experience of heartfelt passion and selfless Love you are aiming to access directly (and share!) when you intend from the heart, when you are performing your shared-intentional-healing™ praxis. So once again, stop for a moment now to imagine: Imagine the tremendous healing power at your disposal when you step into your shared session each day with the intention-to-create healing! It means you are committing to heal, vowing to heal, trusting your Self to heal, by way of your impassioned heart: You are giving your presence to merge as one-heartbeat in synchrony and selfless love with all other CYSH members in this moment now! Therein lies the true power of your healing intention!
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“HEALING” (beyond “being cured”) Clearly, what we intend to create during each praxis is HEALING; your healing, healing for other members, my healing, and our healing together as one. Yet, do you really know what you mean when you say “I intend to heal”? Whenever we take time to reflect on the notion of “healing”, typically one of the first things that bubbles up into awareness is some hope of being “cured”. Given the difficulties and challenges we can face in just making it through even the most simple of daily activities, “cure” can be so very inviting! Indeed, given the opportunity, who of us wouldn't want to be cured of a chronic illness? And cured NOW! Yet, by seeking to “be cured”, we can become entrenched in even more intense challenges and symptom exacerbation! . . . How could that be? What could possibly be wrong with hoping for a cure? There is nothing wrong with hoping, dreaming, goal setting. Indeed, these activities can provide momentum, power, purpose, and direction to an otherwise difficult day. Yet, the moment we turn our attention to “being cured”, our focus immediately comes to rest on that which we desire to be “cured of”, to “get away from”; and it is here we become derailed. It's like the age-old challenge to “not think of a blue elephant”: We must first conceive such a beast before we cannot think about it. So too with “cure” – We must first converge our attention and energies even more intensely on the illness and the symptoms we wish to cease. Clearly, this activity takes us in the opposite direction from the relief and health we are
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seeking! In fact, it is the same process described by Cheri Huber in one of her more remarkable books entitled That Which You Are Seeking Is Causing You To Seek (1990). Take a moment now to think about her title in relation to “The cure I am seeking is . . . ” In short, to focus on cure heightens our experience of dis-ease! To clarify even further, when we focus on such moving-away-from-activities, we have no clear vision of what it is we are moving toward! Without such clarity, our odds of failing escalate exponentially. Success happens only as we also move toward clearly-defined desires and goals. A simple, yet powerful example is this year's 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing. Was that “giant step” successful because the leaders at NASA focused energy solely on how to create escape velocity to “get away from” earth – or also on how to get onto the moon? Another helpful example is wanting “out of” a job. I'm sure you know of someone (perhaps yourself) intent on getting away from the daily grind of his/her job. Yet, when s/he did successfully leave that employment, inevitably and much too soon, the same situation landslides into the daily grind of the next job. Repeating old patterns of struggle is a very clear sign of actions based on moving-awayfrom goals: This is a key principle to apply to all aspects of your daily living. The reason this occurs with the get-me-outta-here script is that whatever change may happen, generally does so from “without”. At best, we change scenery: It's the old grass-is-greener scenario – which is really no change at all. The inherent problem here can be even more perilous, as we see when we take a closer look at the wording “being cured”: We tend to redirect our attention from within (our source of creative power) to some force outside that causes the cure for us (whether that be by way of a physician, a healer, natural substances, Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 17 of 33
medications, treatments, or God). On some level, we tell ourselves, if I could figure out what was happening to get into this situation (i.e., chronic illness), I would be able to figure out how to get out of it; but (and here's the rub) since I can't, I begin to believe less and less in my innate healing power, and more and more that such power must lie outside of me – with an outside force greater than me (whether medical, natural, or spiritual). Please be clear on this point: This is not to underplay the importance of qualified medical professionals to your progress. The same is true of the importance and value of your spirituality and relation-with God, Source, Higher Power. The point to take away here is that you can only access the benefits of such healing relations when YOU are first centered and strong in your own being – when you approach your Self as a sacred Thou! Therefore, in the situation where you reflexively turn over your power to heal (to an outside agent), understand the ensuing damage you risk to your sense of Self. Not only are you diminishing belief in your inherent strength and healing power, you are also at risk of allowing others to determine what is best for your wellbeing (perhaps even against your deeper, intuitive knowing); all of which only serves to further undermine Self-esteem and the tremendous power that comes from believing in your Self. Even our religious upbringing can paradoxically weaken our beliefs regarding the possibility of cure. We learn at a deep level that “cure” lies only in the realm of the miraculous. Such an orientation can weaken belief in the possibility of “me being cured now”. In fact, when being completely honest, many of us feel the odds of “me being cured now” are as slim or slimmer than winning a million dollar Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 18 of 33
lottery. And when it does not happen, we're faced with the more daunting issue of how I must somehow be “flawed”. Clearly, such underlying attitudes provide no foundation on which to construct change, much less the dramatic change required with the desire to “be cured”. [Here, I recommend another Huber book: There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate (2001)] In the end, when focused on “being cured”, you may not only become separate from your innate healing power within, but you risk the ultimate medical mistreatment; becoming an object to be worked-on mechanically! From here, it can be a rapid slide into the role of “victim”, whereby you relinquish your responsibility for choosing altogether (i.e., intending-to-create) how it is you truly desire to be! In short, you risk losing the creative power of intention required to give birth to healing. By the mid eighties, I had been on daily prednisone for over a decade to control severe bouts of status asthmaticus and recurrent pneumonia. Because the deleterious side-effects of prednisone included adrenal insufficiency (an impaired stress response), I knew in my heart-of-hearts, one key to my well-being lay in recovering my atrophied stress axis by discontinuing daily prednisone. For years, I pleaded with my pulmonary specialist to assist me in tapering off and relearning how to live prednisone-free. Together, we did make a few unsuccessful attempts, only to recycle back into another respiratory infection and still higher doses of prednisone. By this time, his posture was that I needed to remain on daily prednisone “for the rest of my life”: My posture was to fire him. Fortunately, and in short-order, I began working with an internist, who over the next two years, laid out a plan to become prednisone-free – which we did together successfully. Two significant points must be clearly recognized here:
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1. You must believe in your innate healing power; and if you do not currently, this then becomes your launch pad for your healing journey – relearning to empower your Self to heal! 2. You are not in this alone: You require the good works of others, in alignment with you, to successfully heal. As such, you need to be very selective in picking those others with whom you relate to enhance your medical well-being. If you are feeling your medical support is sapping your power and authority, they probably are; but you don't throw the baby out with the bath. This is not about releasing physicians, this is about being in a healing relationship-with your medical professional(s) of choice! Additional cultural biases arise with a focus on “cure”. Any true change with regard to chronic illness implies a change “for the better”: That requires us to believe with certainty that such change can and will bring improvement. After more than fifteen years working with individuals with chronic illness (including my Self), it is the rare individual I've encountered who truly believes (from the core) “I will be cured”; We wish for cure, certainly; but believing with certainty “I will be cured” . . . rarely. An origin of not believing in “being cured” lies in the way we traditionally use the term. One problem in particular is that “cure” is not a “now” concept -- that is, something I trust to experience now; rather, we tend to use “cure” in a futureoriented manner of hoping-for-something-to-happen or (at-best) asking-for, maybe praying for, cure to happen. Yet, it is not in the future that you and I create anything; and this is particularly relevant to healing: We only create in the NOW. Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 20 of 33
Finally, even greater issues arise when we attempt to determine precisely what we mean by the term “cure”. As one example, are you cured when there is “an end to the disease process”? . . . or could that be “remission”? Does “cure” mean a “return to full functioning” (i.e., as I was before the process started)? Is that even possible? Consider the case of a disease process that has already resulted in disfigurement or amputation: What does “cure” mean in those situations? Does “cure” mean “symptoms are gone”? If so, are we then cured when medications relieve or mask the symptoms altogether? Do you understand the quagmire here? It is for all these reasons above that few people are ever truly “cured” of anything; even if we do allow for those who have experienced “miracle cures” (which are certainly the exception, not the norm). Yet, when you and I consider “my situation now”, we need to have the strength of certainty that improvement is not only possible, but immanent! So, if not “cure”, then what? You already know the answer: And the answer is “healing”. In the end, if “cure” is anything, it is a future-oriented, disempowering, mechanical phenomenon at the physical level. In contrast, “healing” is an ongoing process (in this moment) of whole-Self transformation. Consider, when we truly and proactively “heal”, we are creating (now) from the very depths of our core within. We are intending-to-create with all the intensity and power of commitment, passion, and agape that arises in creative transformation. It is this innate source of inner power to which we must first Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 21 of 33
return “as little children” in order to initiate healing! We mask nothing when healing now; rather, we take an active and response-able role in bringing peace, joy, and love directly into our daily lives and the lives of those we touch . . . NOW, this moment, and in as many moments as we allow! It is from this strong, shared, intentional, healing foundation that we live with the most power any human being can possibly experience. . . in alignment with, in IThou relation-with, in the selfless Love that is the very Source of all creation! This process of transformational healing envelops and extends beyond cure at any level; and, unlike “cure”, it is not some static condition at which we arrive (by the grace of some outside, benevolent authority). Rather, such transformational healing, is an ongoing process of BEING-a-certain-way . . . in strength, in power, in wisdom, in loving relation-with (not only Self, but Source, God, Higher Power)! Let this, loving, empowered healing be the deep transformation you intend – your moment-to-moment, empowered healing transformation from core within!
“PRAXIS” We finally come to the term PRAXIS. Clients often ask why I use “praxis” rather than something more familiar, like “practice” or “exercise”. My answer is very simple and straight-forward. First, we can quickly dispense with the term “exercise”. Do you really want to “exercise” intentional healing each day – or would you rather just skip having to exercise any more than you already know you need to do? Enough said.
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Now, imagine I invite you to “please make sure and practice your intentional healing each day”: How do you feel then? For me, it brings up that I must not be very good at it, especially if I need to be practicing every day. Consider now how you feel when I invite you to “skillfully apply” the intentional healing process in comfort. Doesn't “skillful application” feel much more empowering than “practicing”. Since “praxis” means “skillful application”, isn't it much more inviting to approach your intentional healing sessions with skill? . . . And you will as you become more comfortable applying the process each day. Other folks also ask if shared-intentional-healing™ wouldn't be better considered an “experiment”, much like Lynn McTaggart's The Intention Experiment (2007). I can see how the notion of an “experiment” carries with it some sense of intrigue, but “experiment” does not accurately represent the experience that is sharedintentional-healing™. First (as we learned in our discussion of “intentional” above), when we participate in Shared-Intentional-Healing™, we are, as a matter-of-fact, intending-to-create healing. Such activity cannot be an “experiment” or we lose the certainty required for healing change. Rather, we set out to generate an experience-ofrelating that is powered by being committed, empassioned and selflessly loving! You can likely identify such a committed, passionate, selflessly loving experience from some time in your life – whether in love, among family, through an impassioned hobby, in seeking some goal, or perhaps, spiritually.
As you already
know, such an experience is not something we wish-for or hope-for or need to wait and see what happens: It is simply a loving, relating-with experience we already know how to have. We just be it and do it.
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Moreover (as I suggested above), there is palpable transformation that occurs within each of us as we gain comfort participating in shared-intentional-healing™. This transformational experience happens through your participation, and it will happen for you – no need to experiment; just simply participate. Moreover, at the heart of it, the notion of “experiment” does not accurately reflect the research to date on “intention” and “healing”. As an example, a 1997 review of research on “Intercessory Prayer for the Alleviation of Ill Health” by Roberts, Ahmed, Hall, & Davison reports ". . . individual studies suggest a positive effect of intercessory prayer." But, since they viewed other reports in which the results were equivocal, they conclude no “. . . further trials of this intervention should be taken”.5 Regrettably, they miss the point. The fact that studies DO exist reporting a positive correlation between intercessory prayer and the alleviation of ill health, is precisely the reason more studies should be undertaken! Edison found hundreds of approaches that were equivocal before discovering a singular lighting solution: Thank goodness he did not conclude any further trials were unnecessary before arriving at that solution! When it comes to this uniquely intimate subject of healing, Eric Leskowitz, MD, (in a review of the book Healing, Intention, & Energy Medicine (2002) by Wayne Jonas, MD) explains how such conflicting conclusions like Roberts etal come about. Dr. Leskowitz notes, when he is in discussions with his allopathic medical colleagues regarding “. . . inexplicable phenomena like energy healing or intercessory prayer, . . . a sort of allopathic fear reflex kicks in”.6 Conclusions become tunnel-visioned and skewed against even the possibility of such correlation existing anywhere at any time. Hence, no further trials . . .
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You may, however, verify for yourself such positively-correlated research does indeed already exist, by reviewing the studies in Jonas' book (above). In addition, Marilyn Schlitz, PhD, provides a brief outline of just some of those “positive correlation” studies that highlight the “interface of science, spirituality, and medicine”.7 If you would like an even more in-depth review, I refer you to Consciousness & Healing: Integral Approaches to Mind-Body Medicine (2005) by Schlitz, Amorok and Micozzi, as well as the more recent (2008) Holistic Nursing: A Handbook for Practice, 5th edition by Dossey & Keegan. In sum, although experimental research has certainly not provided the final answers on the relation between intention and healing, the research to date is most certainly beyond the “equivocal” suggested by those reflexively reacting from allopathic fear. Those studies completed to date which do display a positive correlation between intention and healing are already providing a strong, practical foundation of powerful techniques and approaches that go far beyond “experimenting”, and straight to the heart of skillful-application in daily living: Shared-Intentional-Healing”™ is just one such approach you may access today and everyday . . . simply by participating in your daily praxis. With the above foundation in mind, we can now move on to . . .
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PRAXIS GUIDELINES Having considered in some depth the foundation on which this method rests, we may now turn to the guidelines describing “how to” participate in your daily Shared-Intentional-Healing™ Praxis. Before you approach your first intentional session, please read through the description and suggestions below. Remember, these opportunities are for YOU, to BENEFIT YOU! Again, there is no "right way" nor "wrong way" for you to participate: You simply participate in your own best way. Therefore, as noted previously, the description below is solely meant as a guided outline to assist you in jump-starting your participation – sharing with you some ideas that have already worked well for others in our Community.
For this to be beneficial for everyone, please do your best to allot at least 5 to 15 minutes for each intentional session. If you are already seasoned at sitting in quiet, you certainly may choose to go longer (e.g. :30), and you can trust there are other CYSH members continuing in synchrony with you.
To start out, let your sessions be for shorter periods of time: You will experience a natural increase in length of participation without having to think about it or plan for it. This is not a race, nor a test of endurance. This is a nourishing of Self and a cultivation of your best healing intentions. Be gentle.
In the beginning, it can also be helpful if you imagine sending out your healing intentions in a particular direction around the globe, and returning to you from the opposite direction. This way, as you imagine, can assist you in creating a Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 26 of 33
“flow” with regard to directing intentional healing to all others around the globe. As you become more adept, you will very naturally be able to generate healing images radiating from your whole being, equally in all directions. You will become aware there is no particular “up/down” in space-time: There is just “everywhere here” that is always at the center of the universe – as you are at all times, and as is each member.
Finally, please know you may also invite your friends and loved ones to share with you in these sessions. If they cannot participate with you, ask them (at minimum) to set their healing intention for you, and send it like a gift to you each day: This can be helpful to them as well, knowing they are actively supporting you with their selfless, loving healing.
So, let us begin with a session description. I have broken it down into 8 separate action steps below:
1. First, make time to just sit and be comfortable (nothing “to do” now). Loosen any tight clothing.
2. Begin breathing slowly until you relax into a comfortable, natural pace. This is a time for gentleness: Simply allow experience to happen, and follow experience moment-to-moment as you proceed.
3. Slowly scan your entire being from head to toes, inside and out. If you notice any part of you in tension, just allow it to relax naturally and dissolve with each out-breath. Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 27 of 33
Note: It may take you 2 or more breathing cycles to notice the muscles in a particular area begin to relax. There are times as well, when you may just need to continue on with your scan, trusting that the area will release as you proceed. Again, this is time for gentle following.
4. Once relaxed (as much as may be possible for now), INVITE your Self to allow and receive healing intention and healing love.
Note: This may not feel natural or normal within; and like a child, the knee-jerk reaction may indeed be to rebel. You are merely sending an invitation; nothing more. As you repeat this intentional healing invitation each day, you will soon begin to notice that you are indeed looking forward to this opportunity.
5. You are now comfortable, relaxed, and intentional within. It is time now to image all the other CYSH Members with whom you are sharing this time. Know they too are seeking to generate healing for your challenges, just as you are for theirs. Depending on your beliefs, it is here that you may also invite, connect with, your source of spiritual power (God, Source, Higher Power, Buddha) to participate with you.
6. Spend the next minutes imagining a Circle of Intentional Healing Energy flowing into you from all the others and out from you to all others. Allow it to be easy, natural, like the earth’s flow of water circulating from sky to earth and back to sky; simply relax into this flow. Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 28 of 33
Note: It may help to imagine your healing intentions emanating from about 2 finger-widths behind, and about 3 finger-widths below, your navel: This site (known as the “lower dan tien” or “hara”) is considered the physical center of gravity, around which you are in perfect balance.
From this point, you can imagine healing intention flowing up your trunk, through your neck and head, and out the top of your head to the other CYSH members.
The healing intention returning to you can be experienced as coming into you at the same center of gravity point from which you started.
Important! Do not attempt to localize your intentions to any one region within (brain, heart, liver, etc); the reason being that a given illness process occurs across and between physiological systems (even though we may talk as if it is "isolated" to one system). It is best to imagine your entire Self within a cocoon or bubble of flowing, healing intention – everywhere within you at once. You may experience color, warmth, safety. Luxuriate in your experience. Enjoy the moment.
During this intentional time, it can also be helpful on a given in/out cycle of breath to silently express "I send out Loving Healing": On the next in/out cycle, silently express "I receive Loving Healing", and so on.
In addition, if your mind wanders off task (& it will), just gently return to the flow of loving, healing intention. Remember, this experience is all about being gentle. Enjoy the process. Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 29 of 33
Continue in this state for as long as you desire, and is easy, comfortable and natural. With practice, your will naturally be at ease for longer periods of time during each session.
7. When complete, express gratitude to your Self, as well as to all others sharing in this moment with you! Sit in this experience of gratitude for a few moments.
8. Savor the nourishing peace you have generated!
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8-STEP PRAXIS REVIEW 1.
SIT in comfort;
2.
BREATHE slowly, rhythmically;
3.
SCAN (head to toes) to relax further still;
4.
INVITE SELF to allow healing intention;
5.
RELATE-WITH all other CYSH members & Spiritual Power;
6.
SEND/RECEIVE intentional healing; “I send out Loving Healing” /
7.
Sit in GRATITUDE;
8.
SAVOR the nourishing peace!
“I receive Loving Healing”
I genuinely look forward to your daily participation, and to sharing this powerful healing process with you. I would love to hear your experiences with your praxis. Please do feel free to email me ([email protected])
My mission is to Coach You Well! Sincerely & Caringly,
MALCOLM Http://CoachingSelfHealing.com/qualification Page 31 of 33
REFERENCES 1
Chopra, Deepak (1994): The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success – A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams, p76.
2
Chopra, Deepak (1999): A Deepak Chopra Companion: Illuminations on Health and Human Consciousness, p94.
3
Dyer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DC-FPorUW7g&feature=related
4
Buber, Martin (1971): I And Thou
5
Intercessory prayer: http://www.cochrane.org/reviews/en/ab000368.html
6
Leskowitz: http://wholistichealingresearch.com/42books12
7
Schlitz: http://xnet.kp.org/permanentejournal/sum05/evidence.pdf ©2009byMFDayton
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR Malcolm Dayton, LPC, Cht is a Licensed Counselor with more than two decades coaching individuals and families facing chronic illness. He is also certified in MindBody Medicine and Hypnotherapy. Malcolm's Coaching Self Healing program is unique in that he calls on his own lifelong journey with chronic illness (multiple sclerosis, asthma, immune deficiency) to assist you in accessing your, unique healing solutions. Very simply, Malcolm walks his coaching! His coaching program is truly "integral"-- that is, healing solutions are practical in focus and applied comprehensively, incorporating all dimensions of your experience; from symptoms to wellness, from relations within self to social relations, from the physical to spiritual--a truly ecological approach to Self Healing. You learn to be FULLIVING™ – to thrive beyond chronic illness! Malcolm's mission is to Coach You WELL!
CONTACT Malcolm Dayton, LPC, CHt email: [email protected] phone: 970-689-4247
Yes, Malcolm, I'm ready to discover the benefits of Self Healing Coaching NOW!
Sign me up now for my COMPLEMENTARY COACHING SESSION
Be Well And THRIVE Beyond Chronic Illness Now !
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