The Politically In Correct Guide To Sex

so hard for men to stay hard. To ensure your ‘hidden persuaders’ are being manufactured to maximum efficiency, enabling you to stay on top (or any other position you prefer), ensure that you eat at least two of the aforementioned foods on a daily basis and regularly take a vitamin/mineral supplement. It would be easy to underestimate the power of your ‘hidden persuaders’, but that would be a mistake. You’ll probably never get close to someone you fancy if you ignore such important components in the mating game. Even worse, ignore the pheromones factor and probably no one will ever fancy fucking you. Scientists have experimented with synthetically manufactured, female moth pheromones. In trials, zillions of male moths swarmed into their laboratories. The moths were driven crazy with frustration as there were no female moths in the vicinity. It was a fatal attraction as the male moths were scientifically wiped out with a blast of electricity - the point of the exercise. Sows (female pigs) who have never seen a boar (male pig) in their life and who may not be within a thousand miles of one, instantly adopt the prone position when the artificial-inseminationoperative sprays a male pig pheromone in her vicinity. Similarly, if you waft a female pig pheromone in a male pig’s vicinity they will instantly get turned on, raise a huge stiffy and commence grunting. Human males are no different to pigs in this respect - getting instantly turned on by a fleeting pheromonal whiff. Many feminists will say that men are no different to pigs in most other respects, as well. Including the grunting. When a bitch is on heat (don’t mean your wife, sir), dirty dogs rush to her residence even when the pooch lady is hidden from view and locked in the house. The unseen hormonal secretions are instantly ‘sensed’ and instinctively responded to by every barking mad doggy romeo within a hundred miles. It works with animals and it also works for humans: male, female, and lovers of the love that once upon a time, dare not speak its name. Faggots, in other words. 11

(C) IQ Inc. 1997. 2007. 2009.

By Professor Ruud Organ. BW. LF. (Hons). Certified Swedish Sexologist

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Professor Ruud Organ. BW. LF. (Hons). Certified Swedish Sexologist

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Professor Ruud Organ. BW. LF. (Hons). Certified Swedish Sexologist

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FOREWORD I’d like to put in on record that I believe in equality. The more female persons that approach me in bars, take me out to dinner, phone me for a date, the better. They can even open doors for me if they like. However, despite considerable media coverage suggesting the contrary, most people fail to practice sexual equality. Paradoxically, women least of all. So if you are not a faggot, transsexual, transvestite, dike or Tom, we all have to make an effort to chat up the opposite sex or we end up alone and without. This book clearly demonstrates the politically incorrect, chauvinistic, unsophisticated, thickheaded manner in which men view women - so it was obviously written by a male. But before she tears this book up and throws it in the trash-can, the female gender might be interested to discover how easily the male sees through her transparently obvious behaviour patterns. Via her superior intellect, she can then use this information to compensate by way of reversepsychology. In the interests of equality (and to give the male gender even more information in the battle of the sexes), a mini-survey was carried out by the author concerning the subject of sexuality and relationships as viewed from the female perspective. The results appear within. The author would like to offer his thanks to all the people who assisted in the writing of this important study on human and animal sexuality, by filling out the questionnaires.Also, thanks to the select band of women and young girls who understandably fell in love with the author over the years - even the lousy lays and ones with odd shaped tits. Sorry I didn’t mention I was only researching a book, but it was all in the interests of social science. Prof. Ruud Organ. BW. LF. (Hons). Certified Swedish Sexologist. 6

CONTENTS FOREWORD by Professor Ruud Organ. BW. LF. (Hons). Certified Swedish Sexologist. Chapter One: HOW TO ATTRACT THE OPPOSITE SEX Chapter Two: HOW TO MEET PEOPLE AND WHERE Chapter Three: POLITICALLY-CORRECT HUGGING Chapter Four: LONELY HEARTS ADVERTISEMENTS AND WHAT THOSE BULLSHIT DESCRIPTIONS REALLY MEAN Chapter Five: AN INSTANT GUIDE TO LONELY HEARTS ADVERTISEMENTS Chapter Six: BREAKING THE ICE Chapter Seven: FALLING IN LOVE AND OTHER PHYSIOLOGICAL EFFECTS Chapter Eight: THE FEMALE PERSPECTIVE AND HOW THE MALE CAN IMPROVE HER LOT Chapter Nine: POLITICAL-CORRECTNESS AND THE QUESTION OF ORGASM Chapter Ten: APART FROM HER OWN WAY, WHAT DOES THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES REALLY WANT?

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Chapter Eleven: THINGS TO AVOID WHEN MAKING LOVE Chapter Twelve: SEX AND GROWING OLD Chapter Thirteen: THE POLITICALLY INCORRECT SOCIAL & SEXUAL DICTIONARY Chapter Thirteen: REPRISE THE ‘XXX’ BONUS CHAPTERS IN THIS BOOK ARE INTENDED SOLELY FOR RELEASE IN THE SEXUALLY SOPHISTICATED AUSTRALIAN MARKET Bonus Chapter One: NEW SCIENTIFIC DEVELOPMENTS Bonus Chapter Two: POLITICALLY-CORRECT SEDUCTION Bonus Chapter Three: TRUE LIFE INTERNATIONAL CHAT-UP LINES AND INTIMATE OVERHEARD CONVERSATIONS Bonus Chapter Four: POLITICALLY-CORRECT FARTING Bonus Chapter Five: REVENGE FARTING Bonus Chapter Six: REVENGE FARTING - PART TWO Bonus Chapter Seven: YOUR QUESTIONNAIRE PROFESSOR RUUD ORGAN’S STUDY INTO SEXUAL TASTES IN THE HUMAN AND ANIMAL SPECIES 8

At the back of this book, is a questionnaire. Please fill it in with details of your most secret sexual fantasies, dreams, experiences and desires. Please help Professor Organ break down the frontiers of carnal knowledge and exponentially expose person-kind’s most powerful psychological and physiological drives. In the cause of science, we beg you to bare all. Published by IQ Inc. International licencing enquiries: [email protected] www.iqincmedia.com

Cartoons by: Mac & Monica. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, except brief extracts for review, without the written permission of the copyright owner. The authors and publishers have made every effort to ensure that the information contained within is as accurate as possible. However, no liability can be accepted for any injury, loss or inconvenience caused to anyone using this book. ISBN: 978-974-7313-84-0 UK Pressing: 1997. First Thai Pressing: September 2007. E-Book: 2009.

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Chapter One - HOW TO ATTRACT THE OPPOSITE SEX Stage One in the art of attracting the opposite sex - or same sex if you bend towards homosexuality - is to make sure that you look and feel good. This ensures that when the unclothed person you eventually feel and take a good look at, won’t be turned off when they see you equally bereft of garments. If you are male, it will raise your confidence as well as other parts of your body. If you don’t look attractive, your chances of successfully getting close to your preferred gender will be much reduced. It may be politically-correct to state that you don’t mind what people look like, but that is basically bullshit. In surveys, the majority of people stated that they favoured The Guardian and The Economist as their daily newspaper. However, sales figures point to the Sun, Mirror and Sunday Sport as the most popular reads. So even if you move in politically-correct social circles, if you don’t look good people won’t even start a conversation with you let alone try and get inside your pants. And, if we are honest, sex is the most fun you can have without laughing. Albeit, the way some people make love is no laughing matter. Almost any body-conditioning programme will assist you to look (and feel) better, so exercise and start getting every single part of your body - nudge, nudge - rock hard. Stage Two in the art of attracting the gender of your choice is to do everything in your power to ensure that your ‘pheromones’ are being manufactured efficiently. These are hormones which sexually attract mates. Gay men know them as ‘fairymoans’. You can increase your body’s pheromonal production by adding certain foods and supplements to your diet: apples, spinach, avocado, ginger, tomatoes, prawns, strawberries, almonds, pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds, dark chocolate, watermelon, honey, ginseng, butea superba (a herb). Considerable clinical evidence confirms that zinc and vitamin E supplements taken daily will add to male potency, so it won’t be 10

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