The Day I Was Qualified

The day I was qualified Story and written by Kyaw Thein Kha 12th April, 2009 In the last a few weeks, I was invited to speak as a guest speaker to the children of youth outreach in their summer camp in Banieng area, Phang Nga province, south Thailand. I was thinking about what to tell the children as a guest speaker in summer camp. Then, the summer camp programme would last for two weeks. In the programmes, the guest speakers’ programme was added to tell the children something from 7 pm to 8 pm. When I received the schedule, I saw my name in three different places on the schedule. As I had to speak the children one hour, three times in the programme, I wanted to tell them about the days of my childhood so that they could have fan and learn the lesson from my childhood experiences. Finally, I decided to tell them about that. I published about what I told the children in the summer camp on my blog as a remembrance of my childhood. I lived with my family in a small township in my childhood. But, my native town was not so far from Rangoon (Yangon), the old capital city of Burma. Our little family was a happy one. It is not wrong to say “little family” because, in my family, there were my father, mother, and eleven siblings above me. I had one dozen siblings, including me. It is not to be surprised. My uncle, the brother of my father, even had fifteen sons and daughters. So, the two families could organize two football teams. As I’m youngest, I might have to pick up the ball when it went outside the played area. When I started to go to primary school, my teachers, my room-mates and their parents asked me, “Hey, Kyaw Thein Kha!” they asked, “how many siblings do you have?” I didn’t want to tell lies and I didn’t want to brag, too. I said, “Twelve.” Then, all my teachers smiled, my friends laughed loudly and their parents laughed heartily. Everybody can see each of my brothers and sisters in every class from primary to high school. Therefore, nobody dared to make a joke about me. If one of my brothers or sisters heard that someone was making me a joke, he/she would come to me in the spot immediately. We had the so-called unity among our siblings. Then, I want to tell you how much my family loved me. There was no day that I was not beaten by my father or mother or one of my brothers or sisters as a punishment. Hence, I had something to think about that – if I didn’t follow the principles of thirteen people, my parents and my brothers and sisters, in my family or if they enforced too many principles upon me. The thing that I knew was that I was clever. If I had to swear for that, yes, I would. But, I was looking for the solution why I was given punishment everyday on those days. The surest answer was that I did what they didn’t like. If so, I want to tell you what their principles are. 1. not to swim

2. not to play with fire (I would be given the strongest punishment if I broke those principles. The punishment would be given by my father). 3. must eat any curry that my mother cooked 4. not to bring the bad words from outside and not to say any kind of bad words 5. if I quarreled with others, I would not be passive and the one I quarreled with must not come to our house for any complain and, 6. must not steal others’ belongings. (Those are second class principles after the principles of my father. The punishment was that I’d be beaten with a small bamboo stick by my mother.) Note: The smaller one hurt me more. 7. not to go far away from home where I could not hear the voice of someone’s calling from home. (That was the principle that I usually broke.) 8. not to walk on all areas of the wooden floor of the house that my brothers or sisters cleaned and wiped. My feet to walk on the cleaned floor must be washed first and clean. If they saw my feet falls or feet press on the floor, I’d be beaten by one of my brothers or sisters who were assigned the duty to wipe the floor of house on that day. The principles no (1) and (2) were enforced by my father, no. (3) to (6), by my mother and no (8) and (9), by my brothers and sisters. The dining table in my house was a big one. We had to call the carpenter to make a dining table big enough for 14 family members. It was neither a long one nor square one like western style. It was made of wood and circle-shaped with four short legs that everybody can see, at least, a small one or a big one in every Burmese house in Burma. Although the table was made for 14 family members, no 11th brother and I were not allowed to eat at the table with my parents and other siblings as we were not qualified to eat with them together. In my family, no 6th sister was responsible to train all the younger ones how to obey the house disciplines and she was responsible to give eating permit with parents and elder siblings at the dining table. Even no 10th sister had just been given eating permit with parents and siblings in last a few months. Before those months, she put down the spoon with violence after she had taken the soup and curries from the bowls. But, now, she could gently take the spoons from the bowls and gently put them back into place. That’s the main reason why the sixth sister gave her eating permit. She (the 10th sister) behaved if she were an adult as soon as she was given the permit. The worst was that my mother promoted her to wear longyi. She (the 10 th sister) was not allowed to were longyi before. She had to wear skirts as a child. In Burma, only adults (girls) usually wear skirts traditionally. Now, the 10th sister was only thirteen years old. My mother allowed her to wear longyis. Since she was allowed to wear those longyis, the way she talked to the two of us (I and no 11th brother) was like a woman. I felt upset about that. Then, the worst was that she never played with the two of us anymore after she had been allowed to eat with parents and elder siblings and to wear longyis. I was not happy to see her style in my eyes.

I wanted no 11th brother to get eating permit. The reason was he always gave me a favour as his younger brother when we played together and he let me go along with him wherever he went to play. Another reason was that Pa Pa Thi, an Indian woman who sold the cracker in the head of our street, often told that the way my brother spoke was like an adult. But, 11th brother didn’t eat rice by one hand after another as he was always gazing and listening what parents or elder siblings were saying at the dining table when he was often allowed to eat at the table. Then, he could not finish the rice in his plate until the others finished. He ate with one hand after another in hurry when he noticed that others were going to finish eating. He put a handful of rice that was more than enough amount with his mouth. Then, the grain of rice blocked his throat. That’s the problem with him and the reason why he had not been given eating permit at the table. When we had meals, our mother piled curries in the plates of each of us. The two of us carried our own plates and ate food in the front of our house from which we could clearly see the street people passed by in front of our house. We could see some other children, playing with rolling stone balls. When we saw someone passed by our house while we’re eating, we just called them out and greeted them. That happened whoever passed by our house. We came out of those behaviors when my mother shouted and scolded us whenever we did so. Sometimes, we ate lunch, gazing at the playing children, eating, gazing, eating and gazing! We could not finish eating until our parents and siblings finished eating in the kitchen. Then, the 6 th sister came to us and fed rice to each of us with her hand and she helped us finish our food by this way. One day, my uncle, the brother of my father, and his son who lived in the other town visited our house. The 11th brother and I were happy, thinking about playing with our cousin. My mother once told me that our cousin was a few months younger than me. We played together with our cousin. But, when the dinner time came, my uncle said, “Hey, my nephews! Why don’t you eat together with your cousin at the time of his visit to you?” The two of us (my brother and I) were happy to hear what our uncle said. It is interesting to listen what the older people were saying at the dining table. We’re also happy to listen about that. Then, one hour before eating dinner, the 6th sister said a word, “Humm…, I’ll observe the two of you this time. If you can take food from the bowls and eat smartly and neatly, you’ll be permitted to eat with older people later from now on.” She said that words in whisper behind my uncle and cousin. My mother also said to the two of us, “Today, I cook three type of curries – fish curry, duck eggs and Indian style vegetable and bean soup as we have guests in our house. I’ll pile fish curry in each of your plate, but you have to take egg curry and vegetable soup from the bowls by yourselves. I’ll lay the bowls of curries on the table. I’ll not help you to take the curries from the bowls. Take them yourselves. But, you are to take only a half of an egg each. Don’t have to eat more than a half of the egg.” She left those words before we ate at the table together with older people. I had never had such experience of taking food by myself before that time. But, I had to be careful that time. The dinner I ate on that day was more excited than the ones that I had ever eaten on the other days. The dinner was also an exam, testing the qualifications of the two brothers if we should be allowed to eat at the table or not. We started to eat dinner at 6 o’clock. The topics that my uncle and father were saying were also interesting. But, I had to be careful to finish eating in time. Simultaneously, I had to check the face of 6th

sister. She must not show any unsatisfied signs on her face. I had had a strong determination about that. Then, we’d be permitted to eat at the table forever. I took a half of an egg smartly from the bowl as the elder brothers and sisters did. But, I felt as if my fingers were about to be shaking as I had never had such a chance to eat so. My brother ate faster than me. When I checked his plates, he had already taken the half of egg in his plate. I didn’t notice when he did so. My cousin was eating food non-stop that he had already finished one plate of rice and took one more plate of rice. As for me, being careful so that the rice was not strewn in the edge of and outside the plate, I was so excited. At the mean time, my cousin picked up the spoon from the bowl of eggs curry, trying to take another half of egg. “Mom…!” I shouted suddenly, and asked, “Are the guests also allowed to eat only a half of egg?” When I said so, my cousin was scared and the spoon, holding in his hand, fell off. I thought I had the right to say that. If he ate another half of the egg, there would be no egg for the 1 st sister and 3rd brother as they had not come back from outside and not finished their dinner yet. I thought that I could show my love upon my brothers and sisters. I checked the face of 6th sister. I could see no sign on her face, embarrassing or anger or something like that. Her face was serene like normal. I thought that she would be thinking like this: “My younger brother said so as he worried for his brothers and sisters. He thinks for his elder brothers and sisters.” I expected that I had surely been qualified because of only this matter. But, the situation did not become as I expected. Two hours after the dinner had finished, I was brought to the kitchen and was beaten with a bamboo stick by my mother for not giving a favour to the guests. Hence, I got a lesson that I have to give a favour to the guests as they are more important than the hosts. I was not clever. I felt more sadness for failing in the exam at the dining table rather than failing in the exam tested in classroom. The day I was qualified I was very lonely as I didn’t have to eat happily together with my siblings although I had twelve. When I was beaten in the kitchen, they didn’t said to mother to stop beating their younger brother. Nobody tried to stop mother beating me. I and 11th brother had only one chance. That was to sleep together with mother putting our hands around her when we slept. I felt sad, thinking about my situation. And another thing that I felt sad about was that, in school holidays, we had to sleep with mother in the bamboo hut behind our house after lunch. If we slept after lunch without playing, we’d be given five pyas, the Burmese currency, (one hundred pyas is equal to one kyat) when we got up in the evening. Then, the two of us held five pyas in each of our hands and ran to the snacks shop nearby our house to buy a bean ball for five pyas. When father knew that, he scolded mother for giving us pocket money on school holidays. As I was a child and youngest among twelve siblings, I could easily feel heartache. One day, I was beaten by my father for refusing to eat the curry made of soya bean. Our father rarely beat us. So, when he beat me, I felt sad seriously that I tried to suicide myself. There was a lake nearby my house. We got the water for drinking from that lake. My plan was to jump off into the water. It was not possible to

tell about that to 11th brother. He’d not agree with me to do that. So, I discussed about that with Aye Naing, one of my playmates and best friends of mine. He also didn’t agree with me. I wanted to die as I felt disappointed and sad, thinking my situation in my house. So, I prepared to suicide myself. In one evening when it was gradually getting dark, I packed my sweater in a plastic bag because, as I thought, it was windy in the lake and the water was also cold. I wanted to jump off into the water, wearing the sweater I had ever worn. And I had often heard about the people who drowned and died in the water. I had seen the dead bodies of those people in the mortuary as I and Aye Naing once slipped from the houses to see the dead body of a drowned man. We went to the back of the hospital in my town, approaching the fence of mortuary that was behind the hospital. We could see a man who was taking out the long coiled intestine from the dead body and the dead body was laid on a bench, wearing thin shirt that was torn off. I and Aye Naing saw that through the glass window of mortuary from the fence. So, I decided to die, wearing my nice and little sweater. In that evening, I ate dinner faster than my brother. All my parents and older brothers and sisters were in the kitchen, eating dinner. I was waiting for the moment when my brother would go to the kitchen to drink water. When he went to the kitchen, I suddenly took the plastic bag in which I folded my sweater, rushed from the house and ran in high speed to the lake. It took for about five-minutes run to arrive at the lake. When I arrive at the bank of the lake, I started to think, seeing the faces of my father, mother, brothers and sisters in my mind. I started to feel sad and I cried. Then, I wore my little sweater and went to a small wooden bridge, connected to the two bamboo poles. I stood up on the bridge on which the people in our street collected water, then, I jumped off into the water, closing my eyes tightly. I felt heartache as I didn’t have a chance to die although I wanted because the water reached only up to my knees from the bottom of the lake. It was in April when it was summer time with strong heat of the sun. The water in the lakes and brooks had already been dried because of the strong heat of summer. I opened my eyes to check if I was dead. As the water was shallow, I was not dead. In the mean time, my mothers and brothers cried out from the bank of the lake. My brothers came down to the bridge and pulled my hands along the way to the bank. Then, I was brought up to the house. Mother was crying along the way back home. I saw Aye Naing behind me. He might tell about my plan to all my parents and brothers and sisters. (But, later, I was proud of having such a good friend like Aye Naing. I thanked him so much.) Father scolded all brothers and sisters when we all arrived at home. Mother also was scolded. All my tears broke out of my eyes as I felt sad so much. Sixth sister also cried, putting her arms around me. She said, “Oh…my younger brother, have we ever made you feel hurt?” I saw the sign of sadness on all the faces of father, mother, brothers and sisters. Eleventh brother said, in the face of almost crying, “If you are dead, whom do I have to play with?” I didn’t say anything. I kept on silence. I felt sad again because the whole family felt anxiety and sad about me and because of me. My father said, “Son, come to dad”. Then, I went out of the sixth sister’s arms and went to father. When I arrived at my father, he put his arms around me. In normal situation, I would not dare to even approach my father. He rarely smiled. He always talked with serene

face that we all were afraid of our father. But, for now, I saw the signs of anxiety and sadness on his face simultaneously and I felt that his voice was full of sympathy. He said, “My son, tell me what you want.” I told dad what I had ever longed most in my life. “I want to eat with older brothers and sisters at the dining table,” I said. “Then, what do you want next?” Dad continued, “you can ask me for what you want.” I didn’t say anything more as I had told father what had ever wanted in my life. Then, father asked 6th sister, “Well, A Nyo, how much pocket money did you give to Phoe Kyaw and Phoe Zaw in the last school year?” (Phoe Kyaw is my nick name and Phoe Zaw is the nick name of 11 th brother) Sixth sister answered, “Thirty five pyas each, dad.” Father said, “Well, give the two of them ten more pyas in the next school years, ok?” I had been praying so that the school opened quickly as I’d get forty five pyas everyday in the next school year. I was very happy to hear what father said. Father continued, “Son, you don’t have to do like this again later. If you want something, you have father, mother, sisters and brothers. Tell all of us what you want frankly. For now, the whole family felt unhappy and worried about you because of today’s situation. If others feel unhappy because of one, that’s not good, do you understand what I say?” I said nothing, except saying, “Yes,” nodding my head. I kept silent as I was wrong. On the next days, the sixth sisters arranged a small table and she ate with me and 11th brother. Eating, she taught us not to let the rice reach up to the middle joints of the fingers, not to have “shu…shu..” sound when we drink soup with a spoon, not to be heard the sound when we re-place the spoon at the bowls of the curry and not to let the rice straw over the edge of the plates and not to let them fall off around the eating area. After two, three days, the two of us could learn how to eat rice smartly and neatly. From that time on, the big dining table in our house had been full with fourteen family members. It was the day that I and my 11 th brother had been qualified and it was also one of the happiest days of my childhood. Thanks! Kyaw Thein Kha http://kyawtheinkha.blogspot.com (Burmese Version) http://kyawtheinkha-en.blogspot.com (English Version)