The Care And Feeding Of Fabulous Animals

The care and Feeding of Fabulous Anlmals !{hole ribrarles^have been w:rltten on t}re care and feeding of doraestl"c animals, end tir""" are doubtless sfuollar books fon the beneflt or vlid animais 1n captlvlty and cCInsequ_ ently r:nable to lbok out fon trrenseives; but eo far ae c&n r ascertainr no one has descrlbed. *- p"opir d.let for sueh animals as the unleorn, the grtffl.n, or trrl-wi"iua-i."""*-rJiasusr as r have alyay-s beei rona or *"i*"1sl-partleularly ln t5e form of steaks and chope--r have rrnd.entaken lo deaL wrtir tne subjeot s e t d o w n a t th e h e a d o f th i s-ar ticlgi q. thst, shour -a-nrghtrnare) cr anyone who neads thls ehance to ipernepi in fr"g iri*""ii wlth any such anlmaL on hl-s nanaJr-o" ,iro"*.likely, on his chest, he wlrl lcrow how to about t"""ir"e l* it wlth_go kind.ness. r am sure that of you ar"e so hardxeanted as to thlnk of T_one treatlng it otherwlse. The Unicortr T h l s i s th e a n l ma r g o u. eee d,epicted on the Br ltlsh coatof-arms as reanlng up to eiamine a *io*., as a }lon was selzed- with the same ,roiioo. at the same moment -otrrer. rt te har"d, to say whlch looks sur"p::5.sed.to see trre Ton.e The r:nleorsr is the one who looks rrke-.-f,J*Ju, but wtth a horn growlng stralght "oot"ilrirrg out or iriJ forehead.-'since he seems to belong to the-horse ramrry, you rnlghi toy offenlng hlm an armful of hay, orr better". strrrr"a couple- of -quarts of oatso As he evldently prefens to sta;d on his hl;d-lege, I suggest that you serve hls food orl the rnant"fpf"cel -n..* Diificu:.tiEI-may be expected, how€ver, in adrsinistening . mash, whlah Ls a d e l i c a e y o ffe re d , h o n se s w h ose ar e capr lclous. The mash is usually n:_lxed.nn ; u"ifiJir'fr.om "pF"ir ils which a horse has in tirklng 1r" But a wrieorn, by reason of his ::ilfll::1ly nornt cannot get his hoad v_"ry-far lnto a bucket. I have thought of using. e speeiar uucteC, il;h sllt d.olrn the side to eccor*modate -tne irgrn, but the t"o"ui" " r,rith sl;eh a contrivance lg that the mash would. iri r,rn out the uniconn eourd. e a t i t r b e s l d e s r n a k l n g a n u n t l d . y * " *before *-o'the ""p"i.-'r suggest, thereforer that r9u pioe*re_a rarg,e s5r:rlnge, .such as is used. by v e t e r i n a r i an s- (b y-w h l ch r rnean ir oo6"- ao"tor s, not to be c on f r : s e d w i t h ,,o cto g 6 n a ri a n s, who have- iittt* o"' r r oii:.r r g to do wit h a n i m a l s.) 0 n se co n d th o ught;l- r r oiltr *o, you had betten not t n y p u m prn g b n a n ma sh i n to *hls' *;;h rf he sho'uld exhale at the urong mornent, you wlth a syr inge, lrould. experlence so&e *l{fi::ltv 1n washing ttre-unan mash i,ul of your halr, and. would have to send your suit to the crea""rsJ rns_tead., Just poun the bnan mash"into-J-fan, and trre *nicorn nill do tne rest. The Cockatrice

tl"-*.'.cockatrr.ceas a *eati:re wlth ;t: ;;-;' ;;;pilr; ff;i.ll"iol t*"":::",1fI ^Il::*:-:::, t ;ii: -+i;"a* i; t,i' alllJ"J:J";, "ifi "l;' ffi IIrXi _f; ff :*n + ; *:"j ^ ::$ i. i; r. oi iI" J,rl,ffi.i'?f;:.l fl:: ::g^1 ln??. *^:r-l:^g":! 11":.. 1: "? tr^1i " a" otEe,,-p;;"il#lli.II 3tlT,l"'i, ti:r:l::: *i:^ fl::ro:ltl":::f_1:*:Iib::

coekatnlce,

it

will

be as well

to keep on good ter m s wlth lt.

-2'ml}kr butl und.er no cincumstancesr e89sr You may. offer j-t on its ancestny. Also it wh ic h i t m f l i r t co n str" u e a s a reflectlon its nost wlth cotton- Ilne is ? , r e 1 1t o r e me mb e r th a t i t l l kes to don I t ask me why. T h e c o c ka trl e e l s n o re l e tLon to the &SPr .anothen deadly creeture which Queen (or perhaps then $x-Que91)_ cleopatr"a bit h e rs e l f w i t h l n o n e o i S n l *e sp bar er s plays whieh- is.the olly Thr.easp Ls to be dlscase I ever heard of su-ch a happening. people who are glven what 1s iohilh iinguishea from t3:e aspen, never be m lstaken lt should A l so, io E r e n r p l l n g tre ra b l e ti te . the wlthstandlng not harmless, which 1s relativety io" aspirinl in fialror slmllarity The FlYing

Horse

The flylng horse, sometlmes knolrn as Fegasus, is no more n o r l e s s t h a n i h o rse -e q u L p p e d with a pair . of wings which through (llke the yodng-:manln the song) to ""11 ""rUf*-f.i* Accor dinglyt g " " a i e st-o f esse. a l r th " with t he if ? flylng begln to yand and your back land !n some-day horse should. nristake of make the donrt eit, to sotaeihing for arorind look Hig pr oper diet lgt of f e n l n g h i r a th e co rrve n ti o n a l hay or oats. A n d i f you- know what makes an air planeoi c o u r i ", b l rd se e d . yo u mo st- often see the r epr esentatj- on of w h e re S 6 r- "n a - r i e a l I i ifyirrg horser you witf r:nderstand. that his proper drink ls not w a t e r , bu t g l a so l e n e . If you put hlm in a stable, it should be one ulthout a As such a stable w111 ro o f , f r b m wi :l ch h e ca n ta ke ofi fr eely. be v i r y e x p en si ve to h e a t, Y o u w111 be well advised to take This w1i} be y o u r f i y l n - S h o n se to F l o rl d .a for bhe winter . iie ry e x f e n l l ve , to o , a s yo u w 111 have to f1y down. If you thtnk you can f1y d onrr on tire honse and save moneyr you are ?rxrong. IIe has a reputation for throwtng people_wllo t1V to rlde hlm. You wlll have to charte:: or buy a srflall plane that can be th::ottled. dowri to the honsets flylng speed, and tcw him S o me o f t]:is expense can be r etnie' r ed, afte beh l n d b y t h e b rl d l e " attt"aetlon. If you get tl:.ene, by settl-ng hlm up as a tourlst people w111 pay to look at anythlng so ordinary as fLshr they pay tc view a horse with wlngs. You should., wfff certalnly howeven, locate near the entnance to the stater so that you has money" while he still can contact your tourlst If you need more information about tiae flylng horse, I suggest that you wrlte me encloslng a stamped and selfad.dressed envelope, sending it to the malI box someone who probably for"get to mail it. who nill ?he Hydra $orne peraons may Euppose (f f tney have thought about lt at all) that Hydra is the plunal of Hydrant; others that and llydra ar6 male and femaler orr perhapse husband Hydrant and wife. A1 1 t h e se su p p o sl tl o n s

a r e incor r eot.

-3The Hydr"a ls a creature with more head,s than an old.-time sermono so if you have a little in your homer you must d o _ a e o t h e r p e o p l e d o ra h o h a ve a $ydra tot or llitr e mouths- to feed,, and look about for something both eheap and filll;t;:say oatmsali r h a v e a l so a va g u e i mpr ession ihat it is ( 5r shbuld r but r mey have gitlun {ax' .th*y-are?} rol{ of-pl-cktls, thls fr:om hearing lt sald th"at hyd.rangeas jtre a sour soll. a stnong boy naraed Hencules got lnto a ftght ulth a l{ydra once. His stor:y r*as that as fast as he cut off one head, i*o more gre w - l n j - t s p l a ce . rt i s o n l y chanltable to suppose thai this was how it seemed to him, after nervlng hlmself for the eneounter with coplous draughts of Falernian wlne, which must have had qulte a ktck in lt; judging fnom its pla6" itr lLtenature. of tne !{ydra ls attested by the large numben ^ T!"_popularily of antlcles that have been nimed after it, lft; g&Br hyd.rogen hyd.raultc brakesr and hyd.romatlc transmlssions. $ o i t i s q u l te 1 i ke l y th .at you w111 become gulte fond. of xlun Hydrar fnd it of. you, but, let us hope, only tn the capaclty of the provlder: of nations nather than of- the rallons thensllves-. The Phenlx fhe Phentx ts a neaLly beautLful blrd., and would be an ide a l h o u s e h o l d p e t, u e re i t not for one fiult, whlehhas undeslrable cons€su€nces. ft has no patlence whateve:r. I11 the nesting season, after laylng en egg, it tdll not take the time to slt on the nest and hatch-the egE-Eft6--Its body heat, e s o t h o r b l r d e d o . I{o , i t ca nr t welt, i*a so sets flr e to the n9st, and then, like a ni.nny, slts on-it and it is consurned in the bonflre. True, the esg explodes-, and out pops a brand-new phenlx; but if you_havo F"pt v?y" phenlx in tire- house, ti:e house may have burned up along i.ritn ihe nest. hr9 a plenix, see that 1t has only flr:eproof *^*-fi_-*-Ir" m a f e r l e r s f or a n e st. A l a o , y ou can get it lnsur e&, agalist flne. r nemembe:rhaving seen-advertiEements oi a.-prrunr* rnserance company. you tsilr arso d.o well ;; ;;"ip-fJr" home wlth an autornatle sprinkle:: system. You and your friends w111 get nuch entertalnment natching a p h e n i x t : r yl n g to se t fi n e to dn aebestos nest, although, owlng to the birdrs shontness of temper, you ru"lll have to listen to somo pnetty bad language. r * , * *

Thene are other fabulous creatures, suoh as the Rod, whlch for e ocr6 reeson bas come to be as"o"l*i*a ortr.- nyel-l"t why you wl11 p::obably never own on€o contlnue? A n y g u esti o n s?