Straight Talk, March 2009

Quiz

Remember the HIV basics • A baby can get HIV when it is

in the womb, being delivered, or breastfeeding. ARVs given to mother and baby around the time of birth reduce the chance of HIV infecting your baby.

• If you are going to be teenage parents, you MUST test together for HIV when you go for antenatal check up.

How did you spend your holidays? Did you stay safe? Send true stories to 22366 Kampala and win the novel The Color Purple. Get inspired!

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Early

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oys, so you have been in a hot and booming relationship. One day she comes to you in tears. Her only words are: "I am pregnant!" What would you do? Maybe you would give excuses: "It's not me… That's a big joke…" . Or you pose a slippery question: "How do you know I am the one?" The fact is: she is pregnant, and you are the one. Reality check. You are going to be a teenage dad, just like she will be a teenage mum. This is happening outside there, around you, everyday. Teenage pregnancy in Uganda is high: 25 out of every 100 girls get pregnant between the ages of 15 and 19. Boys, you wouldn’t want to be responsible for any of these. Neither do you want to get HIV, drop out of school or see the inside of a prison cell.

Use your beauty in a good way eb's Straight Talk talked about looking good. Headteacher Abibu F Siseka of Real College, Luwero,

added more: "Everyone in the world has something beautiful in their bodies, and it is not bad to be beautiful. But often when a girl is told that she is beautiful, she finds herself wasting time, even time meant for books, on making herself even more beautiful. Even some boys, when you tell them that they are handsome, develop the habit of having many partners because they feel on top of the world. HIV is very active, and if you misuse your beauty, you can end up in the HIV boat."

Thanks, headteacher! We love it when elders advise us.

This Straight Talk brings you true life stories from young people like you. Check this one.

I went into hiding

"Four months after we had unprotected sex, she told me she was pregnant. She asked me to marry her. But I was not ready. Her parents were also not ready to keep her. They were bitter and reported me to police. They said I had defiled their daughter. I went into hiding. My parents had to sell our only cow to cater for my transport into hiding. My parents tried to settle it with the girls parents. They disagreed. It was a difficult time and big lesson for me". Zakaria Majid, Kapchorwa

Straight Talkers, unwanted pregnancies never need to happen. Temptations will always be there. But you can resist and achieve your best life. Are you already a dad? What happened? How do you manage? Write to Straight Talk, 22366, Kampala.

When you make a girl pregnant, it's not just about the sex. It's about a child who will call you daddy and need to go to school.

Tough, stressful and confusing, but you can avoid and overcome it.

QUIZ: Girls are as intelligent as boys. So why are girls performing poorly? In 2008 half of all girls either failed or got Div 4 on their O-level exams! This is terrible. What is disturbing girls? Send true stories of what is happening to girls in your school to Box 22366, Kampala.

Win an ST cap.

What drives boys into sex?

We know that there are many reasons why boys get into early sex and become teen dads: curiosity, strong sexual feelings and peer pressure. But probably the toughest situation is when girls ask for sex. This is a reality,. It happens. Read on.

"She removed her blouse as if to say; 'Look at what you are refusing."

She wanted it

"I was sharing a room with a sister to my brother’s wife. One night she came to my bed, saying she was scared to sleep alone. I accepted. But she started touching me and asked if I wanted sex. Although our teacher had told us the dangers of early sex, I did not remember a thing until I finished playing sex. I have promised not to repeat it. I might make her pregnant, and my brother sends me back to the village. Simon, S2

You are the BOSS Some boys are pressured by

"My friends used to say sex is sweet," says A Mangeni, now 16. "So I found a nice girl, and one day when my parents were away, I asked her to come home. We had sex.” But boys, remember, you are the boss of your life. You are not following the commands of your friends! You are also the boss of your sexual feelings and your curiosity.

Many girls asked me

“I used to be in a boarding school. When I came home for holidays, many girls asked me to love them. For long I resisted.

Straight Talk says: It sounds too attractive to be refused when a babe asks for it. But you can refuse it. Sex is resistible. Here is proof. Read the next story!

Straight Talk says: Wow, Isaac, you struggled. And you are now OK. You win a cap.

friends who say they are "doing it".

Straight Talk says: To make it easier for you to keep your promise to yourself, stop sharing a room with her.

But one day my parents went to the village and Ieft me with my uncle. When he went to work, one of the girls came home. She said she had just come to watch ‘Kinegeria’. I was seated in a big sofa. She came and sat near me. When people started kissing on TV, she asked me if I have ever tried it out. I told her no and we tried it. Then we had sex. I don’t know why I did it. I just found myself doing it.” Muhamed, 17

Ok, boys, you will agree with me that at this time I almost said: 'Whatever, let's do it.' But I had learnt from Straight Talk radio that when someone is attractive, it does not mean that even the blood is. At that moment I pushed her out and called the askari to escort her to the girls' side. Okwi Isaac, Ngora

Whatever your reason for sex, be firm and think hard. The results of sex are much heavier than the reasons that push you to have it.

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She said I would not regret

"I went for a youth camp. One of exercises we did included boys and girls pairing up and looking each other in the eyes without blinking (shut and open eyes quickly). The first to blink lost the game. The girl I paired up with followed me later to my tent. For about 10 minutes she just looked around the tent. Then she looked at me and said: 'I just let you win in

Quiz:

made Has a girl or boy ever ur u? Tell us yo sexual advances to yo Straight Talk a honest story and win 22366, Kampala diary. Write to PO Box

Know your body: the sperm cell

Can a boy run out of sperm due to wet dreams? No! He can't. Each testicle (ball) produces about 2000 sperm cells per second, making about 400 million A sperm everyday. drop of Facts of life semen about •Pregnancy can occur the first this size contains time a girl or boy has sex. around 1500 sperm. Now you can imagine •A sperm cell can live for up what would happen if to 72 hours inside the uterus you had unprotected and fallopian tubes. So the egg sex. You are can meet the sperm cell and likely to become pregnancy can occur as long as a teen dad. three days after sex. •When a boy’s penis erects, there is a clear fluid (pre-ejaculate), that is not semen, which comes out of the penis. It contains sperm cells that can make a girl pregnant. So withdrawing the penis before ejaculation will not prevent pregnancy.

that exercise.' I asked why and she said she became shy. She also said she had seen a real man in my eyes so she came to find out.

Sex is in the brain. Erections do not mean you need sex. You are the boss of your body.

We sat there talking until 11pm. Then she asked if she could sleep in my tent since she was scared to go to the girls' side. I said NO. She insisted, saying if I had sex with her, I would never regret. I still said NO. Then she removed her blouse as if to say; 'Look at what you are refusing.'

Walk away from pressure

It can be tough to be someone who says “no” to pressure, but you can do it.

• Pay attention to your feeling s and beliefs. Stick to what is right. • Use your inner strength and confidence to stand firm and walk away.

• Stay away from peers wh o pressure you into doing wro ng things. • Get friends who share you r values. Then you can have mo re friends saying "no". • Help a friend who is having trouble resisting pressure. It is powerful to join another by simply saying, “I’m with you – let’ s go.”

Moses Okurut, Deputy Director, Naguru Remand Home

Beware of defilement

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n wooden benches arranged in rows behind a brownish building at Naguru Remand Home (a prison for young people) in Kampala, the children sit silently. Occasionally, they whisper to each other and smile. Some are dressed in coats and long dresses. Others are wearing torn, dirty clothes. These children are in prison. They are between 12 and 18 years.

Afterwards I was taken to court. I have spent one month and a week in Naguru Remand Home. Don't get close to young girls, even if they tempt you. The law is strong. You can't run from it." RT, 15 "On the day I was arrested I was home. My girlfriend of two months came to my house without a notice. Soon her father also appeared saying I was defiling her. I was arrested and taken to police then to Court. Finally I was brought here, where I have been for five months. Friends, avoid young girls. The law does not know if it is a girl who came to your house or tempted you in the first place." J, 17

The stories of why they are in prison include theft and fights. Many of the boys are there for defilement. Here they tell their stories.

I now fear God "I met a girl and we became good friends. She started coming to my home. One Sunday she came home. She said that she will not go back because her parents had chased her. I told her that was impossible. I had no money to support her.

We agreed to have sex “I was in S3 and my girlfriend had just finished S4. During Don't get leavers’ party we agreed to close to young Yes, they are beautiful. Students of Mulusa Academy, Luwero, take have sex. We decided to go time off to relax and share a light moment. girls, even if to my friend’s house. I do not they tempt know how they found us but completing my S4 this year. Friends, me of defiling her daughter. People you. I was arrested and taken to don't have sex with under age girls. started beating me. Even when I On Monday her aunt came with Luzira Upper Prison where I Wait until you have completed cried out that I did not know police and arrested me. I was taken spent two months. school.” RK, 17 why I was being to Kisungu Police Post where I The law I would be beaten, the crowd spent three days before being is so strong could not stop. I was The law completing my taken to Kibuye Police Station I did not know there could be I escaped death you can’t run lucky that police does not know "One day I was attending S4 this year but I where I stayed for a week. Later such consequences for sex. away from it officers took me to girl the if have wasted my I went to court. I have been If I'm released, I want to go to my pay phone in town. A you. seduced time. back to school. I would be woman came and accused the Police Station. here since October 2008."

Do not cause her death

We lost our only cow My 17-year-old son impregnated a girl. He was in S4. I was disappointed. I was charged one cow and sh200,000/-. I felt pain paying. J P Eilot, 47, Kumi

very year about 300,000 females in Uganda try to get rid of a pregnancy by aborting. Many girls die.

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As the boy who impregnates a girl, you may end up causing her death. As Afuwa Sulair told our Lusoga ST radio show: "Sometimes boys suggest the abortion due to fear of being charged with defilement." show the Grace Ayikoru, 18, told STF's Lugbara radio following sad tale: d out that "I had a friend who aborted. When she foun from her. g hidin kept d rien she was pregnant, her boyf the only When she finally got him, he said he was not y. bilit onsi resp take not d man in her life so he coul ld walk on. He said she was like a road every man wou despite the t abor to ded deci She cried herself sick and her. gave good advice her friends ght it The boy gave her drugs for aborting. She thou lowed swal She e. hom his from would be wiser to abort the medicine at night. The boy had told the family he had a guest. In the morning when they came to see the visitor, ? they found a dead body. This caused problems between the two families. The girl’s death was very shocking."

The diary of a young positive Jane, 19, was born with HIV. She started ARVs in 2007. She volunteers in an office and is an evening student. Last month, Jane argued with her boyfriend Charlie and was hospitalised with pneumonia.

Dear diary,

I’m feeling better and am back at work. I'm taking antiobiotics (drugs used to kill bacteria infections) to help my breathing. Of course I’m continuing my daily ARVs. Guess what? Charlie took me for an outing and we ate pork. I felt great.

I met Charlie at a support group for youth with HIV. I had just found out that I had HIV. I was thin, stressed, sick and in denial (refusing to accept your situation). He came up to me and said: "You do not have to feel so low". To his friends he said: "I think that can be the girl for me." The group has really helped me. When I saw young people who were positive but happy and dancing, I thought: "I can be like them. I can be happy and even dance better than them." Charlie has known that he has HIV since S4. Personally I wouldn't date an HIV negative boy. You wouldn't be so comfortable. You wouldn't be settled or open to him. I am working on the Caravan show. Us youths with HIV do skits, dances and poems. It's really good. I’m a talented actress. I act a rich student who has a relationship with a teacher. We encourage youth with HIV to take their drugs. I talked to 70 students at Taibah. When I said I had HIV, they were moved, scared and touched.

the opening of the uterus, is so tight that it cannot allow a condom to pass through it. The cervix has to be tight so that the when a baby is growing in the uterus, it does not fall out! The female condom cannot go past the cervix into the uterus. It is also made with special rings to keep it in place. The condom lies inside the vagina until you remove it with your finger.

Dear

Syfa 6 Bo x 22 36 P. 6 POO.Bo x P22A36 A L M KK AA M P A L A

One testicle

Virginity and circumcision

Can I lose my virginity by being circumcised? A Kato, 17, S4, Lubiri, ST Club, Kampala Circumcision is the removal of the foreskin. Virginity is lost the first time a person has sex. Therefore circumcision does not take away your virginity. Keep your virginity. If you are thinking of circumcising, feel free to approach a trained health worker to assist you.

Being far does not mean being out of touch with us. Students of Amolatar SS smile after receiving copies of Straight Talk.

Condoms and HIV

Relatives and in love

I fell in love with a boy who my parents say is my relative. We do not want to leave each other. What can we do? Ataro S, 16, S3, YY Okot Memorial College, Kitgum Go slow on the relationship with this boy. It is good your parents told you. Ask them how you are related and explain to the boy. Do not have sex with him. Sex with a relative is called incest. It is not acceptable. You have same family genes. But you can still be friends.

Wet dream and sex

Kampala SS ST club members enjoy Straight Talk. Their message to all Straight Talkers is: Abstain, Be faithful or use Condoms. Too much menstrual flow

Why do I release more blood than others during menstruation? J Namakula, 13, S2, High Standard SS, Kiboga The amount of blood you release depends on your age, size and body make up. Some girls like you will have a heavier flow than others. Though it may look like a lot, the average amount of blood is only about 2 tablespoons (30 mililitres) for an entire period. You will need to change pads 3 to 6 times a day, with most frequent changes

Science Corner: CD4 cell ST’s young positive Jane had a CD4 of 600 before she fell sick in Feb. Her count is now 400 even though she takes ARVs.

Says Jane: “I want to get it back to over 600. I want to be like my friend Betty whose count is over 1000 and her virus is undetectable. My virus is still detectable!” SO what is a CD4? The CD4 cell is a type of white blood cell (WBC). WBCs are responsible for identifying and destroying germs that cause illness. But when HIV enters the body, it looks for CD4 cells and uses them to make more copies of HIV, destroying them in the process.

So the very cells that are meant to destroy HIV are instead destroyed by HIV! A normal adult has between 600-1500 CD4 cells in every ml of blood. The higher the CD4 count, the better the immune system performs. When a person has HIV, the CD4 cells eventually become too few to do their job of protecting the body against infections. And when they are fewer than 200-300 per ml of blood, the person needs ARVs. That is why it is important for HIV positive persons to know their “CD4 count”. People with HIV are considered to have normal CD4 count if the number is above 500.

when you period is heaviest. This is usually at the start of the period. Visit a doctor if the bleeding is really too much. That would be when it is pouring or with clots or lasts for more than 6 days or leads to you feeling faint.

Female condom

Is it true that if you use a female condom you may die because it may enter your uterus? C Awori, S3, Dabani Girls’ SS, Busia Absolutely not. The uterus is a closed organ. The cervix, which is

I am 16. I had a wet dream twice. My elder brothers told me to have sex with the girl I dreamt about to prove I am normal. I am confused. Wekwanya F, 16, St John’s College, Mbale Your brothers are misleading you. Probably they want to feel comfortable with their own behavior by having someone doing what they do. Wetdreams are a sign that your body is functioning well. They are also a sign that if you have unprotected sex, you will make a girl pregnant. Do not let your brothers lead you into risky behavior. Dr Edith Nakku – Mulago STD Clinic

Quiz:

Is it true that condoms reduce the chances of HIV entering someone but do not give complete protection? R Munyezinga, 19, S6, Kasese HS When used correctly and everytime you have sex, condoms give good protection against HIV. Before use, check the condom to ensure it is not expired. But abstinence offers the best protection against HIV, STIs and pregnancy. Abstinence means not having sex.

I have one testicle yet I see my friends with two when we are bathing. I am worried I may not be able to produce children after my studies. Wambi G, 20, S6, St Peter’s College, Jinja Dear Geoffrey, one testicle can produce healthy sperm cells too - about 200 million a day! And you only need one to fertilise an egg. Do not worry. You will have children when you are ready for them. Visit a health worker for more explanation.

I first became pregnant in 2003 when I was 11. I would want to go back to school. But I have little hopes since I am pregnant again. SN, 17, Soroti What do you think Sarah can do to go back to school or make her life better?

Write to SN and advise her.

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n 2008, we asked yo u to Modern SS, Mbirizi, wh help a student of Mayira o wanted to know wh y girls sometime abor t their pregnancies. Thanks for answering this difficult questio n. abor t because they: wi You said that girls sometimes sh to continue with stu dies; fear to be ‘second hand’.; are pregnant due to ra pe; fear being laughed at; do no t want to lose their bo yfriends; and fear embarrassing pa rents or being chased from home.

Winners!

are: • K Anderu, Mun i Gi School, Apac •A Bwam rls’ SS, Arua •D Ogwal, PAG Comprehensiv e ba SS, Busia • Bile M, Am le, Maliba STC, Kasese •Gladys E, Dabani Gi olatar SS •Mugabe A Catherine, Howard HS rls’ • D Obok, Amolar SS , Busia • M Nakasiri, Nsangi SS,Wakiso.

Remember, it is health y injections to prevent

for sexually-active gir ls to use pills and pregnancy.

Publisher: Straight Talk FOUNDATION Plot 4 Acacia Avenue, Kololo, P. O. Box 22366, Tel: 0312-262030/1, 0414530088 Kampala (U) Fax: 0414-534858, E-mail: [email protected] Web: www.straight-talk.or.ug; Executive Director: Cathy Watson, Director Print: Teopista Agutu, Director Programs: Susan Ajok, Editorial Manager: Edith Kimuli, Editors: Gilbert Awekofua, Martha Akello, Jackie Abongowath, Deo Agaba, Chief Designer: Michael eB. Kalanzi, Designers: Gb Mukasa, Allan B. Dentine, Funded by DANIDA, DFiD, SIDA