She Magazine March 2009

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We Take Leadership to Heart

Cardiac Program Medical Directors and Leaders from left to right top: Dr. Alan Blaker, Dr. Daniel Fox, Dr. Ian Smith, Dr. Rajesh Malik, Dr. Peter Hyman, Dr. Fred Krainin, Dr. Anil Om and Dr. Thomas Lewis From left to right bottom: Dr. Jamie Holland, Dr. Christopher Cunningham and Dr. Gregory Jones

The Distinguished McLeod Cardiac Care Team In a region where cardiovascular disease is one of the most feared killers, McLeod and its unparalleled team of cardiac care physicians stand ready to protect and defend. Within our ranks are nationally respected researchers, surgeons who have pioneered procedures such as valve repair and replacement, vascular surgery and those who have some of the best clinical outcomes in the country. This highly experienced team led development of the area’s first chest pain center at McLeod, and was the first in our region to use drug-eluting stents that reduce the chance of blockages reoccurring in heart arteries. They are prepared to provide the most important heart care in the world: yours.

McLeod Heart & Vascular Institute www.McLeodCardiac.org

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2/23/09

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“A Doctor’s Confession to the City of Florence…” And why, despite all, I still do what I do… Dear Friend, Confessions are tough. Real tough. But, sometimes a confession can set the record straight, and I want to give credit where credit is due. Before I talk about my confession, though, let me say a few other things first. Let me start by explaining the photo in this letter. You know, when I meet people in town they usually say, “Oh, yeah, I know you, you’re Dr .Strickland, I’ve seen your ad with that picture of you and the little boy.” Well, I’m the guy on the left. Ten years ago something happened to me that changed my life forever. Back when I was freshman in college, I injured my back while water skiing. The pain in my low back and leg was so intense that I couldn’t even walk, and sometimes I needed help getting out of bed. I was afraid that I’d lose the ability to even walk if the disability continued. After months of prescription drugs, that did more to disrupt my life than ease the pain and numerous steroid injections, I was told that surgery was the only option. Little did I know what would happen. I lost a semester in college (6 months of my life), and was not better. But there’s more. A friend of mine convinced me to give a chiropractor a try. The chiropractor did an exam, took some films, and then “adjusted” my spine. The adjustment didn’t hurt, it actually felt good. I got relief, and I could walk without pain again. It worked so well that I went to chiropractic school myself. Now for Branton, who is the little boy in the photo. About two years ago he was plagued with ear infections and chest congestion. He took many medications and even had to have tubes in his ears. Imagine, a little boy not being able to play outside with his friends, he was afraid of getting sick. After we started to adjust him, the ear infections and congestion started to improve immediately, and now, his problems are only occasional. He is able to run

and play like kids should be able to. That seems like a small thing, but it makes a huge difference to him.

It’s strange how life is, because now people come to see me with their carpal tunnel syndrome problems. Also they come to me with their headaches, migraines, chronic pain, neck pain, shoulder/arm pain, whiplash from car accidents, backaches, ear infections, asthma, sinus/allergies, numbness in limbs, athletic injuries, just to name a few. Here’s what some of my patients had to say: “I had headaches almost everyday of my life for years; Dr. Strickland put an end to that in a few adjustments!” - (D. Kirkland-Florence. SC) “I suffered with chronic pain for over 25 years. I tried numerous different treatments including medication, physical therapy, and even surgery. A friend of mine told me about Dr. Strickland. With his help, I am now able to sleep through the night. Thanks to my friend and Dr. Strickland” (H. Davis, Timmonsville, SC) “I couldn’t sit, stand, or even lie down without pain. After a couple of visits, my low back and leg pain are gone!” (K. Turner-Florence, SC)

Several times a day patients thank me for helping them with their health problems. But I can’t really take the credit. My confession is that I’ve never healed anyone of anything. What I do is perform a specific spinal adjustment to remove nerve pressure, and the body responds by healing itself. We get tremendous results. It’s a simple as that! Being a chiropractor can be

tough, because there’s a host of so-called experts out there. They tell people a lot of things that are just plain ridiculous

about my profession. But the studies speak for themselves, like the Virginia study that showed that 99% of patients who saw a chiropractor were satisfied with their results. That’s just incredible! Seventy-five million Americans no longer have health insurance, and those who do have found that their benefits are reduced. That’s where chiropractic comes in. Many people find that they actually save money on their health care expenses by seeing a chiropractor. Another way to save, studies show that chiropractic can double your immune capacity, naturally and without drugs. The immune system fights colds, flues, and other sicknesses. So you may not be running off to the doctor as much. This is especially important if you are selfemployed. And, an entire week of care in my office may cost what you could pay for one visit elsewhere. You Benefit from an Amazing Offer- Look, it shouldn’t cost you an arm and a leg to correct your health. You are going to write a check to someone for you health care expenses, you may as well write one for a lesser amount for chiropractic. When you bring in this article (by April 1, 2009) you will receive my entire new patient exam for $27. That’s with x-rays and a thorough health evaluation….the whole ball of wax. This exam could cost you $250 elsewhere. And, further care is very affordable and you’ll be happy to know that we have

affordable family plans. You see I’m not trying to seduce you to come see me with this low start up fee, then to only make it up with high fees after that. Further care is very important to consider when making your choice of doctor. High costs can add up very quickly. Great care at a great fee… Please, I hope that there’s no misunderstanding about quality of care just because I have a lower exam fee. You’ll get great care at a great fee. My qualifications…I grew up in the Pee Dee and love it here. I’m a graduate of Palmer College in Davenport, Iowa. Throughout my career I have wanted to return to the Pee Dee Region and thankfully I was able to join Dr. McKay and Dr. Skipper. I am happy to be back where I belong and doing what I love, helping people through chiropractic and natural healthcare. I’ve been entrusted to take care of tiny babies to pro athletes that you may know. I just have that low fee to help more people who need care. My assistants are Debbie, Jessica, and Leah and they are really great people. Our office is both friendly and warm and we try our best to make you feel at home. We have a wonderful service, at an exceptional fee. Our office is called ADVANTAGE HEALTH & WELLNESS CENTER and it is at 507 West Palmetto St. (We are across from Montessori School, 1 block from the Venus Pancake House). Our phone number is 843-669-1010. Call Debbie or Leah today for an appointment. We can help you. Thank you. -Dr. Craig Strickland P.S. When accompanied by the first, I am also offering the second family member this same examination for only $10. P.S.S. Can you imagine not having to wait at a doctor’s office? Well, your time is as valuable as mine is. That’s why we have a no-wait policy. You will be seen within minutes of your appointment.

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Florence Wellness & Weight-loss Center J. MARSHALL DENT, M.D., BARIATRIC PHYSICIAN, BARIATRIC ASSISTANTS, JEAN DICKENS & PATRICIA POWELL AND CERTIFIED PERSONAL TRAINER GEORGE MCELVEEN

under the direction of

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I’ve lost 88 POUNDS! Ashley McDaniels tells her story.

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HER STORY... My mom was the motivation for me to start a weight-loss program. She picked up a She Magazine and told me she wanted me to try the Florence Wellness & Weight Loss Center Program. I was ready to do anything it took to take the weight off. As a stay-at-home mom with two small children and a husband that works out of town a lot, I was depressed all the time. I didn’t have the energy to do everything I wanted to do with my children. Furthermore, I was tired of having to go shopping at certain stores just to find the clothing size I needed. I hated going out with my husband because I thought I didn’t look good enough for him; I thought people were talking about me being big. At 248 pounds, I started Dr. Dent’s Once-A-Month Program, which is a low-carb, highprotein plan. I exercised at least three times a week, but the hardest part is not having any sweets. I love chocolate! However, not having it for a while, I got used to not having it. To me, losing weight was more important than eating sweets. Going to the doctor once a month helped motivate me and keep me accountable. Everyone at the Florence Wellness & Weight Loss Center is so nice and they really do care about me and my health. Once I started losing the weight and could see the results on the scale, I was so proud of myself. Going places and having everyone tell me how good I look is the greatest accomplishment I could ever have. The best thing, however, about losing weight is I have so much energy now. I can almost keep up with my children like a mother should. Plus, I can go shopping anywhere I want to. My advice to others is if you’re not happy with how you look and feel, call Dr. Dent and schedule an appointment. It will be the best call you’ve ever made. It changed my life in so many ways. Now, I weigh 160 pounds and I feel great! In seven and a half months, I’ve lost 88 pounds and 42 inches off my body. It’s just amazing!

before

Ashley McDaniel is a 24-year-old, stay-at-home mom with a five-year-old son and a seven-year-old daughter. She and her husband of six years live in Johnsonville.

after

J. Marshall Dent, M.D. is now certified by the American Board of Bariatric Physicians, making him 1 of only 10 Board Certified Bariatric Physicians in SC.

Complete Women’s Health Care

See Dr. Dent’s article on pg.130

10

J. Marshall Dent, M.D. Member of North American Menopausal Society • Member of American Bariatrics Physicians

410 South Coit Street • Florence • 665.5055

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Celebrate Your AGE! Special Features

In Every Issue

76

Lindsay Martin King

14

Letter from the Editor

78-79

Dr. Anna Katherine Gibson

16

She mail

80

Kim Puckett

82-83

Mary Hayes Bryant, Ed.D

25

Style File 84

Nancy Baxley Jordan

28

Beauty Buzz

86

Martha Davis

32

She’s Closet

88

Anne Poston McNair

41

The World According to Sobie Soles Dixon

90

Suzanne “Suzi” Jones

92

Frances B. Drew

42

The Sir-Vey

94

Mary Long Streett

46

Shop Talk Genesis Cosmetic Laser Center

96-97

Sarah Layton

98

Jimmie Rogers

51

Wee She Morgan Lindsey Rolfe

57

In His Own Words John Isgett

62

67 72

Contributing Writers 18

Paige Sanderson Getting Old Is Only You-KnowWhat If You Let It Be

22

Melodie Griffin You’re How Old?

26

Allie Atkinson I’m Just as He Would Have Me to Be

Chicks of the Month The Staff of Small Smiles Dental Clinic in Florence Chick Lit Purse Strings Joe Page, CPA, with Gatchell & Page, LLC

100

Art & Soul by Sharman Poplava

30

Sandra Honaker The Great Forty-Eight

104

There She Goes

34

Jumana A. Swindler Time Marches On

120

Wings for the Spirit by Sherry S. Page Atkinson

36

Sharon Bixler Ageless Eyes

122

Campus Chick Megan Rogers

124

Women At Work Jana E. Longfellow

128

Annie at Home

132

Who’s That Girl? Ashley Herb

44

Anna Kathryn Pitts Still Twenty-Something

48

Ouida K. Page, RN, LPC Finally, My Turn

58

Rebecca J. Blair Finding New Meaning to “...And Many More”

60

Latrelle P. Fowler, RN, PhD Starting Over at Any Age

64

Marti Miller Marching On

118

Leigh Clary Abdou His Timing

126

Cookie Cawthon Boogie Shoes and Boat Paddles

Medical Experts 52

Carol Adams, PhD

102

Growing Old Gracefully: What I Learned From my Mother

The Generation Gap

130 54

Curt B. Charnes, MD Thyroid Gland: The Tiny Titan

68

Dr. Ed Lee Treating Varicose and Spider Veins

Lea Pritchard-Boone, PhD

J. Marshall Dent, III, MD The Upside of Menopause

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She

She Magazine • March 2009 • 13

M e l ia a Flowers Berry Publisher/Editor [email protected]

Tuesday Taylor General Manager

we are

13

Advertising & Graphic Design [email protected]

Dresden Tucker Graphic Design [email protected]

Leigh Clary Abdou Production Manager Advertising & Design [email protected]

Heather Frick Intern [email protected]

Ashley Rogers is a resident of Marion and a Graphic Designer for She Magazine. She is a Francis Marion University

Ashley Rogers Graphic Design

Alumni and holds a B.A. in Visual Arts with a specialty in Graphic

[email protected]

Design. Ashley loves all types of art, but has a particular passion

Beverly Kelly Ray Gasque

for painting. In her spare time she enjoys spending time with - Executive Assistant

her family. She and her husband, William have two beautiful children, Brock William (22 months) and Lexi Brooke (7 months).

- Distribution Manager This month's cover was painted in watercolor and inspired

She

by the celebration of age. It’s all about embracing your age and being

mail

confident in who you are.

E m a i l t o : e d i t o r @shemagazine.com Mail to: 609 North Main Street • Marion, SC 29571 Call us: 843.423.2393 office line • 843.423.9837 fax line

take us home For a copy to be placed in your mailbox, send a check or money order for $38 to the above address for a year's subscription.

She Magazine is published monthly and distributed at over 500 locations throughout the Pee Dee. She Magazine reserves the right to refuse any advertisement or content we deem inappropriate for the publication. Contributions are welcome and can be sent via e-mail or snail mail. Please include name, address and contact number. You will be contacted if we decide to print your submission. Content must be received by the 10th for the following month's publication. Letters to the Editor are welcome; however, they may require editing due to space limitations. The design, editorial and photo content in

She Magazine and may not be reproduced without written permission by the She Magazine is a registered trademark.

copyright of publisher.

She is

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Celebrate your AGE! MARCH 2009

from the editor We have been taught that it isn’t polite to ask a lady her age. Well, to this, I say, “Rubbish!” It’s time to not only admit our age but to CELEBRATE IT! This month, She Magazine becomes seven-years-young! To celebrate our birthday, we are celebrating yours! A few months ago, I sent out the call for women who are happy with their age and many responded willingly; others, kicking and screaming, were nominated by their friends. The result is one of She’s most exciting issues ever published. For this month’s feature stories, we gathered twelve fabulous women ranging in ages from twenty-something to ninety-six for a photo shoot. We had a blast! That project took almost two hours as group shots and individual shots of each woman were taken with them posed in CELELBRATE YOUR AGE! T-shirts that we had made just for this special issue. Although I’ve learned many things in the seven years as Editor of She Magazine, one central thing I’ve learned is that most women (myself included) do not like to have their pictures taken; therefore, I realized I was asking a lot of these women. Nonetheless, I was amazed at the spirit in which each one participated. Collin Smith’s studio was truly vibrating with the energy of these twelve women. From the youngest to the oldest, the beauty of each woman radiated from inside out. The fun didn’t stop there! We took our CELEBRATE YOUR AGE! Tees “to the street,” as we found over 100 women to adorn them and pose for a picture. You’ll find many of these within the pages of this issue, along with their real age and how they feel about the number of candles on their birthday cake. (For even more real-age photos, visit our website at shemagazine.com and look for more in future issues of She.) Since I have taken this issue so boldly where a lot of women would rather not go, it’s only fair that I get a little personal about my own age. When I began publishing this magazine, I was thirty-six years old. In many ways, I have grown up within the seven years that we are now celebrating. I worked my way through the later part of my thirties and embraced my fortieth birthday with many of you cheering me on. Now, it’s hard to believe that I’m forty-three and She is seven. Where has the time gone? I am inclined to agree with my friend, Jumana Swindler, who writes in this issue that time is in fast-forward. When I think about my age, I can honestly say that I’m not bothered about getting older. I just wish there was a nicer way of saying “getting older.” With all the politicallycorrect ways of saying practically everything, why hasn’t someone been forced to come up with a more polite way of saying that? Maybe we can call it, “becoming not so young”? Anyway, the truth is, I really am okay with “becoming not so young.” In fact, like many women my age and older are discovering, this a wonderful time of life. My teenage years were not the easiest of times for me, so I certainly would not want to go back there (except for a few “do-overs” if I could). I spent my twenties raising three precious babies – all three born in less than four years – and being a stay-at-home mommy. Needless to say, while I would not trade that time for anything in the entire world, I was tired – very tired! My early thirties were the toughest years of my life as I went back to work as a single mom. At thirty-six, I took on the mammoth task of launching She Magazine. The first five

years of growing She took so much of my time and energy that my life outside of it was almost non-existent. To say that my thirties nearly wiped me out is putting it mildly (trying not to sound whiney – I am among friends; however, so may I indulge?). I entered my forties too tired to care about the number of candles on my cake. For the most part, I was so stressed and overburdened with the demands of building a new business and raising a family that I had begun to just exist. I started to see each new day not as a blessing but as a hurdle to jump. I totally lost myself in the enormity of it all. After turning forty, however, I finally did start to realize that this disregard for my own well-being could not continue. I was mentally, physically and emotionally drained. Spiritually, I was empty. I was so overwhelmed with everything that I was not even spending the time in God’s Word that I needed so badly and that He wanted of me. Slowly, I started the process of reclaiming myself. I knew that my first priority had to be to make time for my Lord and Savior in my life again. From that, I began to feel a renewed strength. I began walking again and eventually going to the gym. I hired more employees and learned to delegate responsibilities. I learned that I didn’t need to do everything and be in the office every minute of the day and that even though I always wanted to set an example of working alongside my employees, it was okay to take time off when I needed to. I learned that while I should strive to never miss a deadline, the end of the world will not come if I do. At forty-three, I’m beginning to (as my children would say) “chill a bit.” With so much of my life spent in fast-forward, I’m excited about slowing down now. Watching my daddy die this past year has opened my eyes to what we hear and say so often but cannot totally grasp – life is short. Now, my children are practically grown. My sons are in college and Haley will graduate from high school this June. My duties as mother are not over (thank God), but the hard work of raising little children is behind me. Though I miss those days enough to cry on any given day, the place where we are now is wonderful and exciting. I get to watch the payoff of a job maybe-not-so-well-done, but one that with – thanks and credit be to God – has produced two incredible young men and a young woman who are ready to now embark on their own lives. I get to watch (sometimes from up close and sometimes from a distance) as they find careers, a spouse and their own purpose in life. Then, someday (in the not-so-near-future, please, please), I will welcome grandchildren and get to spend the time with them that I wasn’t allowed to spend with my own children while being a working mother. In some ways, I guess life does give us do-overs. The thing I wish I had realized in my younger years is that it really is to our advantage to try as best we can to make the right choices as we go along. Guilt over things I should not have done and regret over things I wish I had done have plagued much of my life for the past fifteen years. Now, I’m learning to accept God’s forgiveness and I’m learning to forgive myself. Little by little, I’m beginning to embrace Romans 8:28,“And all things work for good for those who love the Lord.” I’ve been able to see that God is capable of taking even my mistakes and turning them into something good. I’m excited about my life again. I’m starting to do many of the things I have put off for “the right time,” for so many years. Just this week, I hired a contractor to build that screened-in porch I have wanted for so long. When spring comes, I plan to spend time on it, swinging and reading and (sit down for this one, Mother,) just relaxing. I’ve written a couple chapters in the novel that I have longed to write but could never get inspired to begin. I’m finally at the point where I can actually enjoy being at the helm of the magazine that I love. Surviving the grueling years of building a new business, I can breathe now and I feel a renewed sense of excitement and creative energy. Personally, I’m embracing who I am without excuses and can laugh at myself for all the silly little things that make me who I am – my fears, my forgetfulness, my likes and dislikes. I have an iPod filled with music that I love – forties big band and movie scores. Yes, movie scores – that’s what happens when you embrace your age; you embrace who you are without shame. To prove my point of no shame, let me also tell you that I love talk radio (I’m addicted to Sirius’ Doctor Radio), I can eat soup every single day for lunch (and I sometimes do) and at forty-three, I can (and do just to make my daughter laugh) moonwalk. Thank you for sharing the last seven years of my life with me as readers of She Magazine. It has been quite a journey and this is just the beginning. There is still so much to explore and discover and I look forward to bringing something fun, new and exciting to you each month in the years to come. Now, please don’t think it rude of me to ask, but how old are you? CELEBRATE YOUR AGE! . . . It’s a woman thing!

Celebrate “Personally, I’m embracing who I am without excuses and can laugh at myself for all the silly little things that make me who I am – “

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 15

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2/25/09

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She mail

Dear She, I love She Magazine! I’ve been reading She since it began. You’ll have to laugh at my method for reading it, though. As soon as an issue comes out, I grab one – quickly! I bring it home and refuse to read it! To explain, I have two children (six and four, whom I love with all my heart) and I don’t like to begin reading and get interrupted. I wait until they take a nap before I read to avoid the interruptions they bring. Then, I have to pace myself so I don’t read it up before the month is out. It’s misery to be finished by mid-month and have to wait until the next issue comes out. When I picked up the issue in which Melia wrote about losing her dad, I had to read it immediately. I was so anxious to know about him and afraid at the same time that I already knew. I cried when I read the story. I

am so amazed at how God is so good to us – especially through times such as this that we know are inevitable. I thoroughly enjoy reading She and Melia and the staff of She Magazine do an awesome job with inspiring the readers and keeping us on edge. Thanks again for such a wonderful publication! Angie Clements Eaddy, Lamar, SC

Dear She, First of all, I want to say ho w much I enjoy She Magaz a great magazine and I lov ine! It’s e all the articles and storie s. The story about Melia Berry and he r father, however, really tou ched me. I was always considered my dadd y’s little girl (even though I’m going on 42years-old). That was fine with me because I treasu red being his little girl. I lost my father this past May, but it still seems like yesterday. He was diagnosed with acute leukemia in February and died on May 28th. I don’t think I’ll ever comp letely get over it, but I hav e to go on with my life because I know tha t’s what he would want me to do. When my daddy was on his dying bed, he told me (as he always had) that I would always be his Baby Girl. I will always tre asure that moment, but I didn’t have to be told that because I kn ew it. My response to him was that I knew that I didn’t have any choice in deciding who was going to be my father, but I was ver y thankful to the Good Lord above for choo sing him. When my father passed aw ay, I was beside him and I take anything for that mo wouldn’t ment. Don’t get me wron g; it hurt, but I wouldn’t trade it for anythi ng. He was there when I came into this world and I was there wh en he left. There is no do ubt in my mind where Larry Yates is at thi s moment and I know tha t one day, I’ll see him again in Heaven. Again, thank you for your story. It gave me someon e to relate to. You can always imagine what it will be like to lose a parent, but no on e knows unless it has happened to them. Sincerely, Lisa Spigner, Florence

We at St. Paul United Methodist Church Christian Child Care Center and Mother’s Morning Out in Florence absolutely LOVE She Magazine. We are always anxious to see each upcoming issue and find pictures/articles of people we know. We also love the wonderful and helpful faith-based articles and stories. Our resident creative genius, Mike Flowers, came up with the idea of a She Board to welcome our parents, teachers, members and others into the Christian Education and Child Development Center. Thank you for all you do to contribute to the Pee Dee area! Roxann Wrightson - Director of Children’s Ministries & Mother’s Morning Out - St. Paul United Methodist Church

I’m a 25-year-old avid reader of SheMagazine. Not only are the articles wonderful, I love the artwork and I’m always happy when I’m page-shopping through the advertisements. They’re the best local ads around! - A huge fan of She, Tracy Yon, Florence

We’d like to hear from you! Send an e-mail to [email protected] or mail us at 609 N. Main St. Marion, SC 29571

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 17

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2/24/09

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GETTING OLD IS ONLY You-Know-What IF YOU LET IT BE

If

by Paige Thomas

I had told my mother that she should celebrate her age, I

maybe you only left your home state!); but, what a memory!

probably would have been able to publish my own Maxine greeting card

Celebrate it and perhaps put it in a journal or other keepsake

(you know, the outspoken Maxine who loves to tell it like it is about life

book. This will create another memory and celebration for your

happenings – at least from her point of view). My mother told me for the

children or other family members.

last ten or so years of her life that it was . . . well, you-know-what . . . get-

My thoughts are already wandering to that first hayride. Do you

ting old. She said that becoming forgetful was demoralizing and having a

remember those? Do kids still have them? That would have been my first

bony neck was embarrassing. Let’s not mention not being able to drive. I

chance at a real date; but, I chickened out at the last minute because I had

thought that was all ridiculous and I had to tell her every day why I

no idea what to expect. I wonder how my life might have been different

thought so.

had I gone?

Nonetheless, now, I’m beginning to agree with her. How are you

With your memories, remember to laugh. Learn to laugh at

supposed to celebrate these kinds of changes in your body and mind?

yourself, your mistakes, your blunders and all the changes your mind and

Already, I tend to have lapses in memory. My knees don’t want to straight-

body will make as the years roll by. We all like to have someone who

en back out and days that I feel so tired, I don’t have any drive. I’m sup-

understands and there is someone out there who shares that most recent

posed to be happy that this gets worse?

ache, the hair that is turning gray or the mind that experiences too many

Lately, I’ve found myself feeling very ancient, too. I work with

senior moments. Invite them to lunch and laugh!

mostly young women in their twenties and thirties and the things that are

Along with your laughter, as we grow older, don’t take yourself

going on in their lives are bringing up memories – old memories. Two of

too seriously. We are taught to do that when we’re young – to be focused,

the “girls” are expecting and as I have listened to the trials and tales, I find

to choose a school, a career, a mate. This seems to work well for a while

myself thinking, “Yes, I remember those days – twenty-five years ago.”

on that treadmill of life that goes steady and fast.

At times, I’m around students, too, and they are talking about

Over time, however, it seems to slow down – and even at times,

classes and exams and studying. I reminisce about those days – thirty

seems to crawl at a snail’s pace. We don’t have all those goals and deci-

years ago. My youngest son just graduated from college and I think about

sions to work towards that we did when we were young. Life is slower,

that accomplishment in my own life. Again, that was a long time ago. There

less eventful. Don’t sweat over it! Enjoy! Rest! Relax! You earned it! Finally, I want to make a suggestion that you make special plans

was a time when I wasn’t old enough to remember anything that far back. Now, it seems like all my memories are from way back in history. When we lived those times that we now just remember, we cel-

for your next birthday (if you haven’t already). My mother made a big deal

ebrated all these events. How do we celebrate them now and what they

out of birthdays when I was

meant to us as we get older? Well, I hate to organize it for you, but I came

growing up and I think it helped

across a website a few weeks ago called eHow. A person can actually get

me to know that I was special

paid to write an article on how to do something – any normal life event

and celebrated by others. Take

that perhaps would benefit from instructions. If it gets hits by readers,

some time to plan a special cel-

money is deposited into a personal PayPal account. I thought I might try

ebration of you. In these times that we now

it for this month’s She topic. Let’s see.

First, begin by celebrating that you are alive.

live, an attitude of celebration is a perfect

Depending on your beliefs, the alternative may not be such a good deal.

antidote to the feelings that could oth-

Then, start celebrating some of those milestones. Have you ever sat down

erwise overwhelm us. There is much

and made a list of the major events in your life? We’ll start with the day

in the world at large and in our

you were born, the day you started school, the day you graduated, the day

little corner that we simply

you got married or the day you had children. As you begin, it can actual-

have no control over.

ly bring up a lot of other memories that you cherish and want to remem-

Live every day – at any

ber.

age – in celebration of This can be a lot of fun as you start to fill in the gaps between

who you are and share

the major milestones. Remembering your first crush, your first date or

the memories. I hope to

the dress you wore to the prom (and the accompanying 70s hairdo).

hear your stories!

Throw in there the first time you left the country on a trip or cruise (or

Paige lives in Florence with her husband, Joey and two her Sheltie pups, and works part time at the Center for the Child at Francis Marion University.

19

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You’re HOW old? BY MELODIE GRIFFIN

P

Practice saying this after me (looking very, very shocked):“You’re HOW old? That can’t be right! I always thought you were, well, younger than that!” Good. Keep practicing for when you see me next time, in my older and wiser condition. It will make me feel better. Lordy lordy, Melodie really is forty. And by the way, if any of you use the phrase “Lordy Lordy” in reference to my birthday, I will be forced to inflict bodily harm. I always knew that this birthday was inevitable, but just how in the world did I get here so fast, pray tell? Just yesterday, I was jumping up and down with glee over my brand new “Baby Alive” (which, I might add, did not adequately prepare me for motherhood). Just yesterday, I was carving pumpkins with my Daddy, in awe of his patience and skill. Just yesterday, I was sweet sixteen and equally mortified and overjoyed by the fact that my mother showed up at my school dressed as a clown. Just yesterday, I was bawling my eyes out at every mile marker on the way to college and twirling with glee the very next day at my thrilling new life. Just yesterday, I was student teaching, then a college graduate, an exuberant bride, then a joyous, overwhelmed mother. Always a daughter, always a sister, always a friend, and always a God-follower along the way. One artist I enjoy named Jill Phillips sings about this proverbial age in her song, “The Middle” and I quote: “If I was old I might have it together; Or if I was young that would be my excuse; But either extreme seems so easy to be;And I’m somewhere in the middle.” Sing it, sistah! Regardless of how I got here, the fact remains that I am here. So what am I gonna do about it? I’ll tell you one thing I’m not gonna do. I’m not gonna sulk.There are some real benefits to being this far along in the journey. MORE FRIENDS (and more wisdom about what true friendship looks like!) Yes, I have more and more friends with each addition of candles on my cake. They just keep on coming! I was perusing a list of e mail addresses the other day, thinking of each individual and how I know them. I smiled with the memories that gushed in and silently thanked God for the treasure of friends. Each day, I add more and more friends to my Facebook and it’s always so much fun to flip through that Rolodex of Relationships! And speaking of that popular networking site, my sister-in-law cracked me up the other day when she was mentioning the stark difference in the advertisements she sees on her page, versus those on her teenage son’s page. While he is receiving ads for gym memberships, she gets ones for anti-aging cream. Sigh. I’m glad they let us old people use it, anyway. MORE FUN I was speaking with an acquaintance of mine the other day and she was sharing with me how much she is enjoying her age. She says that she actually knows who she is now and feels quite comfortable being her! Kudos! While my childhood, teenage, college, and young adult years were full of fun and laughs, I have to admit that the times just get better as the years pass. Hey, if nothing else, we collect more and more funny stories along the way and can spend our time giggling about things in years gone by. Oh my, did I just reference “the good ‘ole days”? MORE FAITH As I look back over these quick forty years, one thing is certain. God has always been FAITHFUL to me. He has NOT always done things the way that I have chosen (colossal understatement) and what a good thing that is! He is Sovereign. I am not. He sees the big picture. I do not. He takes all things and works them together for my good. He is faithful. He can be trusted. That is not going to change just because I enter a new set of tens on my age bracket! I will leave you with the words to the song “I Am” by the great lyricist Nichole Nordeman. Her words convey the feelings in my heart quite perfectly. “Pencil marks on a wall, I wasn't always this tall.You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed. You watched my team win, You watched my team lose. Watched when my bicycle went down again. And when I was weak, unable to speak, Still I could call You by name. And I said, ‘Elbow Healer, Superhero, Come if You can.’ You said,‘I Am.’ Only sixteen, life is so mean. What kind of curfew is at 10 pm? You saw my mistakes and watched my heart break. Heard when I swore I'd never love again. And when I was weak, unable to speak, Still I could call You by name and I said ‘Heartache Healer, Secret Keeper, Be my best friend.’ And you said,‘I Am.’ The winds of change and circumstance blow in and all around us. So we find a foothold that's familiar, and bless the moments that we feel You nearer. When life had begun, I was woven and spun.You let the angels dance around the throne. And who can say when, but they'll dance again when I am free and finally headed home. I will be weak, unable to speak, still I will call You by name. Creator, Maker, Life Sustainer, Comforter, Healer, my Redeemer, Lord and King, Beginning and the End. I Am. Yes, I Am.” Melodie Griffin recently moved all the way from the Pee Dee to the Midlands of SC due to a family job change. She travels the country to speak, sing, and share hope.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 23

24-25

2/24/09

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Page 1

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I’m Just As He Would Have Me To Be “The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.”

- Madeleine L'Engle

by Allie Atkinson I’m certain that most of you know by now that I’m a high school teacher. During my past fourteen years of teaching, I have discovered something special regarding the field of education. This is not a very scientific sociological study but is based merely upon my own meager observations. Here it is: Teaching will do one of two things to you in terms of age. It will either keep you really young or it will make you very old. Think about the teachers that you know. It’s true. My husband’s first grade teacher still looks exactly as she did when he sat in her classroom. I frequently have students react with surprise when they find out that I’ve been teaching as long as I have; so, I guess that it holds true for me, as well. I hope that it will continue to be true for the duration of my career. I look out over the bright young faces of my students occasionally with a sense of wistfulness. I wonder if I had it to do over, would I be willing to go back to that time in my life. I had a blast in high school! But first, a little background . . . I was an extremely awkward child – and I’m being kind in saying that. I was never told that I was cute or pretty because I wasn’t. I wore glasses from the age of five; I mean thick, Coke-bottle glasses. But wait, it gets worse. In kindergarten, I also had to wear a patch over my left eye in order to strengthen my right lazy eye. I also had pasty white skin due to the fact that I have Irish ancestors and was severely allergic to pollen to the degree that I would have an asthma attack when outside for prolonged periods of time. Add in my unruly mousy-brown hair and I was pretty pitiful. I was also smart and a smart-aleck, which made me unpopular. I was a know-it-all – if I bothered to speak at all due to my painful shyness. So, back to high school . . . Luckily, age was kind to me. By the time I was fourteen, I began to be less goofy. I decided that I could miraculously see and no longer needed glasses except to read. I finally got my hair under control and learned how to manage it. I was thin and athletically-built, if not athletic. We moved to a new town and I was ready to emerge as a butterfly. I essentially re-invented myself at that point. I began to read teen magazines religiously for fashion tips, makeup tricks and advice. I started the ninth grade with a self-confidence that was completely new to me. As I said, I had a great time in high school. I believe, however, that I’m so much more now. I don’t really know how to explain it, but I am more of me. The confidence that I have now is so much better than what I had back in school. In fact, I wish desperately that I could go back with the “me” I am now. How I would love to be able to better bear the snickering and criticisms that are so much a part of the adolescent experience. With that being said, no, I wouldn’t go back. I love being in my midthirties! I like the fact that I’m comfortable now in my own skin. Sure, I’d like to be ten pounds lighter like every other woman in America; but, my doctor and I are the only ones who know that number anyway, so who cares? As long as my clothes fit well and I’m healthy, who really cares? Instead of worrying about the scale, I’ve going to the gym and working out. Due to the increased muscle, I’ve put on five pounds. My husband, however, says I look like I’ve lost ten. So, again, who cares what the magic number is? I love the fact that I am who God made me to be. I’m not a size three and never will be. I’m happy at the size I am. I’ve finally learned to style the unruly hair of my youth. I wear clothes that are stylish but also functional and comfortable. I love sensible shoes and know that heels are not really my thing. I have really cute flats and I’m blessedly tall enough to not care. My curves may be a bit smallish here and largish there, but they’re mine and anything more or less would probably look funny, anyway. I really like the quote above by Madeleine L’Engle. She states that you never lose all the ages that you have been. I agree with that statement. I will – no matter what my age – always have a little bit of that timid, awkward child within me. I’ll also still have the more confident, blossoming teen to remember. I’ll still have the self-assurance that I have now – even when I’m a little old woman. I pray that God will continue to improve me and refine me until I am just as He would want me to be. In the meantime, I also pray that I’ll continue to remember that no matter my appearance, I am fearfully and wonderfully made in His image – and just as He would have me to be.

Allie Atkinson is a French teacher at Marion High School. She lives in Marion with her husband, Philip, and daughter, Abbie.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 27


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Can the right cut and color really take years off your looks? Two readers say,YES! Cynthia A. Hickey and Angie Evans at

Stuart Laurence Salon before

Highlights and Haircut by Amanda Weaver When Angie came to the salon, she had very long hair. The length was far below the center of her back. The bottom fifty percent of the length was previously permed, previously colored brown and the bang was teased out. The previous haircut was roughly layered causing lines in the silhouette. During the consultation, it was decided to use a combination of soft blonde and rich caramel highlights. Again, our vision is to use extremely small sections when highlighting so as to produce a very natural end result. Angie had limitations as to how much length we could remove. We agreed on cutting less than four inches off the overall length. The bangs and layers around the face were dramatically softened to enhance her facial features. Bangs were combed straight to the side to produce a new, edgy fringe. Angie, who usually wore her hair curly, now has the option of a long natural look. The new look is modern and updated. Our goals for Angie as she becomes more accustomed to her new style are to embrace a slightly shorter length. This would give her even more movement and rekindle a soft and sexy appeal that she may have forgotten she has. Go, Angie!

AFTER

Angie Evans

Note from Angie: “I can’t thank She Magazine and Stuart Laurence Salon enough for this experience. Otherwise, I don’t know if I would have ever changed. I’ve had the same hairstyle for about twenty-five years. (That’s a long time for anything these days.) Although it was time for a change and it’s taking some getting used, I like my new hairstyle more each day. Every woman likes to be told she looks younger, right? Thanks again for the great opportunity.”

before

Color and Highlights by Stephanie McNama Haircut and Style by Jessica Clay of Stuart Laurence Salon in Florence.

AFTER

When Cynthia came to the salon, she had a red pallet for us to work with. In addition, the new growth (which naturally is seventy-five percent grey) had been previously colored.The resulting color was pink and maroon. During the consultation, it was decided that a lighter chocolate brown base color and caramel highlights were the solution. By using whisper-thin pieces, we could break up the base color and produce a beautiful silhouette. The new hair color complimented her skin tone and made her eyes sparkle! Cynthia’s previous haircut was brought to a severe point in the back. In order to eliminate the severity, we shortened her hair to shoulder length, which give gives her movement and excitement when she walks. The layers were soft and round. Versatility was the key. The end result was a style that is current, age-appropriate and can be styled straight or curly. Yea, Cynthia! Note from Cynthia: “To She Magazine, thank you for such a fun day! I enjoyed being my age but looking a lot younger. All the ladies at Stuart Laurence Salon were wonderful and friendly (even to a little redneck like me). I’ll definitely go back. They are great. Thanks for the gracious opportunity. I felt like I was on

Cynthia A. Hickey

What Not to Wear. My before pictures look pretty lame, but the after pictures are great! I pray none of the before pictures broke anyone’s camera! To my dear brother, Jerry, thanks for nominating me for this opportunity. It was the most fun I have had in a long time!”

E-mail your beauty questions or suggestions for a topic that you would like to know more about to [email protected]. Include “Beauty Buzz” as the subject.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 29

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30

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THE GREAT

YÉÜàç@X|z{à by Sandra Honaker

\

I love being 48 and not just because it means I’m not 50

ping and turning were only for the faint of heart.) Any

set goals, and not just to have intentions. Without goals

yet. Forty-eight is actually a great age in and of itself.

ski trip that ends with my hips and other major bones

our lives can become unfocused, but goals are by their

First of all, it has a lot of multiples, so I have a lot of lucky

unbroken is a success. I can only go up from here.

very nature hard to achieve, so it’s nice to have a good

numbers: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 12, 16, 24 and 48. Even though I

It probably sounds like the secret to happiness

reason to push a little harder. I have a goal, for example,

don’t play the lottery, I like having lucky numbers. My last

at 48 is to have low expectations, and that’s partially

to be able to run a marathon by the time I’m fifty. I have

age, 47, was a prime number, divisible only by itself and 1,

true, but not in a defeatist sort of way. At 48, though, I’ve

goals concerning my writing and my time I spend with my

so my lucky numbers were extremely limited. Being 48

learned to put down expectation baggage that I should

family and my studies. And since I also have patience,

makes me luckier by default.

never have been carrying in the first place, and I have the

something I never had when I was younger, I have confi-

Okay, now that I’ve totally outed by weirdness

wisdom now to feel no regret about it. It’s in the last few

dence that I can keep plugging away until these things

about numbers, let me say that being 48 is also great

years, for example, that I’ve become content with the

happen. Putting aside other dreams has not meant an

because it becomes an acceptable qualifier for everything

way I look. I’ve finally realized that if I’ve never had that

end to my dreams, but an enrichment of them.

I do, especially anything I do badly—skiing, for example.

tiny, willowy figure in the first 47 years of my life, I’m

That’s the best part of being 48, in the end, is

I am the world’s most pathetic skier. I go down the

surely not going to develop it now, no matter how many

what I know now that I didn’t before (like I don’t really

mountain in a permanent wedge--at an angle to boot--so

miles I run. It is totally logical—and not defeatist—to

care if I end a sentence with a preposition). I have the

slowly that everyone else passes me: small children,

assume that my thighs are large because they are genet-

knowledge of experience on my side, and in my experi-

wind-milling snowboarders, shuffling zombies. Even at

ically programmed to be so, and I no longer have to carry

ence I can truthfully say that each decade has been bet-

that speed I occasionally fall, in a slow-motion sort of

around the hope that I could be, and should be, physical-

ter than the last. The forties have been more fun than

way. Yet I can get by with this ineptitude because I can

ly perfect. I’m okay with only being okay physically, and I

either the twenties or the thirties, and that knowledge

exclaim with all confidence,“Yes, I ski as slowly as a shuf-

no longer have to subscribe to the always false hope that

makes me look forward to the fifties. I’ll bet those years

fling zombie, but, hey, I’m 48!” Those within hearing

physical perfection is around the corner if I just buy this

will be a blast!

range will pat me on the back and tell me that’s quite

more expensive product or cut another 500 calories

good, allowing that to be out there at all at my age is

from my diet or read a particular magazine’s top ten

achievement enough. There is an unspoken connota-

guide to being the perfect me. Or worse, have some

tion that if I had merely started skiing earlier, I might

expensive and dangerous procedure done that will sup-

have been an Olympic contender one day.

posedly take away ten years. The face I see in the mirror

(Actually, I did start skiing in my teens, but I

is definitely older, and sometimes I do wish I had just

only started truly learning to ski in

rubbed the moisturizers into my neck more often, but

middle-age. When I was in my teens I thought such

it’s not bad. And the face is still me. Now that I’m free from the burden of perfec-

as

tion, I can focus on other things, set other goals that have

stop-

nothing to do with the way I look. In fact, that’s another

details

bonus to being 48—it really is middle-age. I can no longer lure myself with the promise of endless time, and although that sounds scary, limited time becomes an excellent reason to

Sandra Honaker lives in Marion with her husband Pat and her daughters Morgan and Alex.

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32

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Date Night! A

C

B

E

AGE OF ENBRIGHTENMENT

D

Add fresh, youthful, brilliant color to your closet this spring! A Bohemian Dress in Carny by Wish FLOSSIE MAE’S, HARTSVILLE

C Diane Von Furstenburg Safari Wrap Dress HEYWARD + HANNA, FLORENCE

B Multi-colored cardigan and shell by Madison BELK, FLORENCE

D Buddha Bag LULU’S, HARTSVILLE E Madison Sling Back Heels in Hot Pink BELK, FLORENCE

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 33

The Sleeping Beauty March 13, 14, 15 • Florence Little Theatre March 21 • Center Theater • Hartsville

The Florence FLT Box Office will be open for ticket sales the week of the performance • Tickets in Hartsville may be purchased from Burry Book Store, Hob Knob Gourmet, Lulu’s and Minnies’ Giftique

South Carolina Dance Theatre

To purchase tickets online, visit www.scdancetheatre.org. 843-669-3991 • www.scdancetheatre.org • [email protected]

TOUCHING Wilson Senior Care has been

LIVES

committed to quality healthcare for over 30 years and is one of the leading providers for Short and Long-Term Care throughout the Pee Dee Area.

Medford | Oakhaven | Morrell Nursing Centers www.wilsonseniorcare.com (843) 393-9925 Received Five Star Ratings by Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services

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Time

MARCHES ON Sincerely Yours, by Jumana A. Swindler

T

This month's She theme happens to be "Celebrating Your Age." Well, I would if I could, but time seems to be passing so quickly, that I really can't remember how old I am anymore. Passed the mid-forties by nearly four years now, I seem age-conflicted, somewhat chronologically confused since I can act like a kid when the mood strikes, hike with the stamina of a teenager (especially after dropping some LB's this past year) and yet sometimes still may feel weary, old and worn after only three days at work instead of five during these longer, pre-spring weeks. My hair boasts of white streaks (between "blendings") which I sometimes prolong as a sign of distinction -- just to create the perception that I am aging with wisdom and grace - at least around the temples. I also have memories about things that don't exist anymore, like eight-track tapes, manual typewriters, and mimeograph paper for old mimeograph copy machines. (Remember those? I used to offer to make copies of work sheets for my teachers, just so I could smell, and yes, even inhale the flavor of those messy things.) Today, however, my younger work colleagues often use me for reference on things that occurred "back in the day," as they say, like in ancient times before DVR's, cell phones, IPods, key-less entries and Splenda. A friend of mine has a theory. And, quite frankly, I think she’s on to something brilliant, although not scientifically validated.“Have you noticed how time flies lately? How we just seem to be zooming through life, especially the older we get,” she said. “Yep,” I responded, placing our order in the drive-thru window as we were racing for lunch en-route to our next meeting.“Oh, by the way, I ordered you soup in a cup so you can drink it during the presentation. I ordered my salad in a cup, too. I won’t eat the croutons so my chewing won’t be that much of a distraction when you explain your graphs.” At that, my friend frowned and brought up her little theory again. “See, it’s just like I said. I think the world is revolving faster and we just don’t know it. We’re living in double time and everything is speeding up. Days aren’t truly 24 hours anymore; maybe they're only 22 and a half. It’s why we’re tired all the time and why, all of a sudden, it’s the end of the month or the end of the year and you’ve only just gotten used to writing ‘2008, and it's now 2009,’” She continued on her tirade. “IT SHOULD NOT BE THIS WAY!!!,” she added, swiftly running through the yellow light so we would get to where we were going at least a few seconds faster. “It’s like driving down the road and not remembering how you got there, just that you made it from point A to point B while you were in deep concentration about something else. It’s scary!!!!” Yeah, I thought. But not as scary as you are to the drivers beside us as we zigzagged through traffic to shave five more minutes off our lunch break just to get back to

work before the rest of the folks attending the same meeting. Arriving early gives the appearance that you are in control of the situation, she has often speculated. Just don’t let the other guys see you sweat or know you have constant acid reflux from rushing to be first in the board room. Anyway, I understood what she meant about losing time. For instance, you are at the 25th the month and you don’t know when or how the days before past.You miss birthdays, a bill or two, your hair appointment for blending out your gray and your dreaded annual ob/GYN appointment seems to come around quicker. The only thing we can’t figure out about this rapid revolution thing, as the world as turns, (no not the Soap, just the spin) is how clocks are caught up in all this.They should have malfunctioned or shown more time discrepancies, but it is apparent - - Clock and Calendar producers are all tied to this conspiracy of time snatching and season hopping. I think house and garden flag companies are in on it, too. Speaking of which, I've given up putting out a flag for seasonal occasions. For example, by the time I remembered to take the one for Christmas down, it was time for the spring and blue bird hanging banner. My furry groundhog flag never saw the light of day and my Irish clover flag was literally out of luck, buried in the drawer next to the Valentine's one during February and March. It all passed by so very quickly this year! And, television networks are in on the conspiracy, too.Who decided that those television and movie awards shows should be in February or March, that new TV seasons should start at the end of September and that Memorial Day is May 25th , but is observed on May 22nd. This year, my birthday is on Monday, June 15th. But I’m going to fool everyone and observe it on Thursday, June 18th. And there’s a whole new language involved in this rapid revolution of the earth. It’s a new millenium of text and instant messaging with incomplete words and sentences, faster fast foods, three-day-lose-40 pounds Hollywood scheme Diets, Cut and Bake Cookies, international connectivity 24-7, new instant Starbucks coffee, Disney World express passes and overnight divorces. The only thing that seems to require thought and time anymore, my friend says, is “tackling the crowds in the drive away from movies, college football games, or supper at the Olive Garden and getting to the end of your dog-gone She columns!” To that I replied, simply: "Stop the world and let me off. I think I am getting seasick." Mathew 5:16

Jumana A. Swindler, a resident of Florence, is the Director of Marketing and Public Relations for McLeod Health. Her personal favorite pastimes, reflected in her writings, are RV'ing, movies,Theater, fishing, reading and spending time with her son and family.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 35

On Thursday, April 9, 2009

Burry Bookstore 130 West Carolina Ave. Hartsville, SC 29550

and Black Creek Arts Center are co-hosting a Book and Author Luncheon from 12 noon until 2:00 pm. Musician, producer, and author Todd Johnson will be sharing his southern novel

The Sweet By and By.

• Party Platters • Homemade Cakes & Pies • Casseroles • & Much

• Breads • Gourmet Salads & Desserts • Gift Baskets More!

Dubbed as a cross between Fried Green Tomatoes and Steel Magnolias, this is the story of five women, in different stages of life, living in a small town in North Carolina. They cross paths and share their joys and sorrows as friendships are forged between them.

The luncheon will be held in the Gallery at Black Creek Arts Center at 116 West College Avenue. Tickets are $35 and include the book, lunch catered by Bizzell's Food and Spirits, as well as the opportunity to chat with Todd and have your book signed. Call 843-332-2511 for more information or email us at [email protected].

www.burrybookstore.com

Weekly menu includes buffet meal, dessert, salad & drink. Dessert varies daily.

Mon - Sun • 11am-3pm 712 E. Carolina Ave. • Hartsville

843-383-3999

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Page 1

Ageless

Eyes i

We

“We are always the same age inside” - Gertrude Stein. Agree or disagree, it’s a matter of your perspective. Once you reach adulthood, only two things seem to change – circumstances and maturity. Wow! Sixty is great! I love God, my life, my family and my job. Why is sixty so great? Because five years ago, I didn’t have the most wonderful grandson and I had a different job. But, you know what? Life was good at fifty-five, too. Most women would prefer that their age remain a mystery, while silverhaired men seem to enjoy the esteem. I’m not sure I fully understand that; however, for centuries it’s been an accepted norm. I’m guessing that a huge paradigm shift may soon occur. The “baby boomer” generation (of which I am a part) has never been benchwarmers and I doubt we’ll start now. Change has always been our modem operand (although it may not always have been for the best). One paradigm change I hope we accomplish is to tear down the stereotype and negative bias of ageism. Since self-talk and self-concept plays into this, it is very important to know who you are in Christ. Ageism is already beginning to show a slow shift (watch the TV commercials); sixty or seventy is not old. Remember hearing,“The older you get, the faster time goes”? As a child, I recall my old grandmother (I think she was maybe sixty) repeating that quote whenever I was “wishing time away,” wanting it to be my birthday, Christmas or some other special day. Whenever she said that to me, I really thought she just was so old she didn’t have a clue. What happens to us? Where did the time go? We become our mothers and grandmothers (and I don’t necessarily mean physically, although that does happen a lot). I don’t remember exactly when my paradigm changed – probably somewhere between twenty-five and thirty. Yes, my birthdays continue to come and go with certain physical changes naturally occurring. But, oh! The eyes of my soul and mind never changed; they only matured. So, as far as my chronological age is concerned, I may be sixty; but, my sight is ageless. Webster’s Dictionary defines ageless: “1. not seeming to grow old; having no limits of duration; eternal.” Eternal. That’s it! That’s the connection. It makes me contemplate Ephesians 3:17 (Amplified), “May Christ through your faith [actually] dwell (settle down, abide, make His permanent home) in your heart!” And John 17:16,“They are not of the world, as I am not of the world.” This last quote came from Jesus’ prayer in the Garden of Jessamine just prior to His arrest. Verse twenty in this passage also tells us that the “they” are all those who will ever come to believe in Jesus (that’s you and me). Think about it; connect the dots. If Jesus lives in your heart and we’re not of this world, then we’re only sojourners or ambassadors here. Believe God and it’s not difficult to see why we feel the real touch and draw of eternity. We are blessed with eternal sight. My walk with the Lord – whether here or in Heaven – will be endless. That knowledge alone fills me with joy immeasurable. Have I ever had trials, bumps, doors slammed in my face? Of course, I have. Each age has brought different circumstances and maturity in different areas and at different levels. Day by day, challenge by challenge, we always have the same decision to make: do we make things better or bitter? I remember difficult ages prior to my receiving eternal sight; but, since I’ve known God, He has always been faithful. I love sixty! My husband’s and my relationship continues to deepen. Ian, my grandson,certainly has added youth,love and laughter beyond measure to my life. (I never knew dirt was cool!) God continues to reveal this new freedom I have in Christ. I’ve always been assured of my salvation, but my true freedom that I’m finding is in Him.

Sharon Bixler is blessed to be the wife of Hal, mother of Holly (Stanley) and grandmother of Ian. She is a Member of Emmanuel Baptist Church in Hartsville.

by

Sharon Bixler

I have no intension at this point in time to retire anytime soon (besides retirement is not Biblical). My career has been so varied as a nurse, you could think I’m either very bad at it or I just can’t keep a job. In truth, however, God has given me not only an extremely wide variety of nursing experiences, but also many unique opportunities. He has gifted me as a teacher and I love teaching the many aspects of nursing related to long-term care that I’m now privileged to do. My students are just the best and constantly bless me. God continues also to bless me with beloved friends and co-workers. How could I not celebrate this age? Set your ageless eyes on Him and your chronological age will always be blessed. God may shift our paradigms as He continues to teach us His truths. But, where age is concerned, I’m counting on eternity!

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 37

Carolina Travel & Tours

UPCOMING EVENTS •New York Shopping & Sight Seeing Trip, April 3-5, 2009. $250pp (4per rm)$275pp (3 per room), $320pp (2 per rm.) Two night hotel stay 1(48 hrs.) NY City Shopping & Tour Pass, & bus transportation. • Atlantic City 2 day drop off Stay $150 per person (transportation only) April 3-5, 2009 •Daytona Beach Getaway July 10-12, 2009 $150(4)$175(3)$240(2) per room •Essence Music Festival New Orleans, July 3-5, 2009 $399(4)$499(2) per room.

843-382-9293

1776 Cedar Swamp Rd. • Kingstree, SC 29556

Ask about our Monthly Give-Aways! Financing Available. Interior Designer on Staff Miles Talbott • Rowe • Sealy Bedding • Lane • Temple • Hooker • Legacy • NDI Florals • Uttermost • Paddywax & Bridgewater Candles • England • Butler Thibaut & York Wallpaper ...and MANY more

Hartsville Furniture Co. & Sleep Center

Since 1934. Formerly The Galleries 133 East College Ave • M-F 10-5:30, Sat 10-3 • 843-332-9041

At Mantissa Row, Good Taste is Never Out of Style. Soon To Be Mr. and Mrs. Brides Receive a Free Gift With Every Registry! Now offering gift cards.

Deanne Tyner and Matt Frey

March 28, 2009

Brittany Darwin and John Wallace

April 20, 2009

Wendi Walden and Beau Sutherlin

April 25, 2009

Lindsey Thompson and Jason Dawkins

May 16, 2009

Brett Johnson and Justin Grant

July 25, 2009

146 E Carolina Ave Hartsville, SC 29550

843.332.5103

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38 • March 2009 • She Magazine

When it comes to nurses, Carolinas Hospital System keeps striking gold.

Pictured (l-r): Corine Truluck, The Women’s Center; Sarah Thomas, Cardiac Cath Lab; Jill Perry, Education; and Carla Vamper, 8th Floor.

Congratulations to our 2009 Palmetto Gold honorees! W

ith the announcement of the 2009 Palmetto Gold nurse awards, Carolinas Hospital System continues

as the only hospital in the Pee Dee to have nurses named recipients of the honor every year since the program’s inception in 2002. Given by a coalition of South Carolina nursing organizations, the prestigious Palmetto Gold honors the best of the best in nursing. These four outstanding nurses bring our Palmetto Gold collection to 42, and we know there will be more to come. These nurses make us proud, today and every day.

Discover the Carolinas difference.

805 Pamplico Highway • Florence, South Carolina • (843) 674-5000 • www.carolinashospital.com

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Women have always had to deal with the fact that our culture accepted men’s aging (“He looks distinguished!”) while women just got old. Now, it seems the tides have turned as we hear, “Forty is the new twenty” and “Life begins at fifty.” Do you think this seemingly-growing trend of women embracing their age and being more confident with who they are makes men want to keep up and do more to look younger?

1

R Y A N L O N G - Hartsville “In my opinion and with regards to the men I know and work with, men are not trying to keep up with women. They are comfortable with how they look.”

2

E R I C E L R O D - Florence “Yes, a man will get dressed up to go out and when he gets noticed, it motivates him and builds his confidence – no matter what age he is.”

3

D A N C O L L I N S - Marion “I think that men do feel a greater pressure to look younger. Why else would I already feel bad about having gray hair?”

4

M A T T H E W N O R R I S - Florence

“The growing trend for women to embrace their age is simply just a way for them to become more self-confident in themselves at a particular stage of life. I don’t see men having to try and keep up because most men don’t have the peer pressure from other men that women seem to put upon themselves to have the best physical appearance. Most men are simply happy the way they are. If you like him a certain way, that’s fine; if you don’t like him a certain way, that’s fine, too. There are men out there who dye their hair, etc., but I think most men are quite happy aging with the distinguished look.”

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 43

Small-town Friendliness with a Sophisticated FlairShop our Downtown, Stroll through Kalmia Gardens, and Dine in our Wonderful Restaurants...

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Over 125 consignors with new & gently-used Spring/Summer children’s clothes (size NB-14), special occasion & dancewear, shoes, toys, books, baby equipment, furniture & room decor!

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www.merrygoroundresale.com

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Still “Twenty-Something” by Anna Kathryn Pitts

S

Since being back in school, I’ve carried around my version of the “handy-dandy notebook.” Its pages are filled with notes from classes, loose thoughts, random recipes or ideas, bills and listsupon-lists of to-dos. I write them with rows of little boxes beside each line so I can check them off as I go. Some are categorized and separated, while others are just intermingled phrases, pieces of grocery lists, phone numbers or websites I need to remember. I have recently come to terms with the fact that I am a list person – goal-oriented in my own very random, jumbled way. I keep lists for three main reasons. When I have a game plan, it helps me feel more in control of my life, no matter how busy or crazy it may be. My list is my plan. Second, who really has time to do all those little things they think of during passing moments of inspiration throughout the day? Better yet, who even remembers them later unless they write them down? Third, I honestly think it’s a hereditary trait. My mother is the queen of making a list! (Now, finding it is a different story altogether.) Nonetheless, I learned the true form of crafting one from her. In spite of my trusty lists, today I feel like I’ve been blown all over the place. Anchored by the hope that this season of my life won’t last forever, I dip and dive violently while my schedule gusts by with schoolwork, personal expectations and agendas and all of life’s responsibilities in the midst of them all. It’s very frustrating at times, much more tiring than I’d like it to be. So, when I see a few moments of downtime, I try my best to use it wisely and do some more planning. Some days, it seems nearly impossible to get through it all and I’d love to quit and cash in my chips, take what measly retirement I may have accrued and go chill out. But, quitting would mean missing out on what comes next when this season blows through and another one begins to stir (not to mention the fact that I’d be absolutely in despair once I ran out of funds). If I’m completely honest with myself, I love who I am, where I am in life, who is here to share it with me and especially the direction which I am heading. Recently, I’ve been spending more time with a dear friend of mine who has offered me the opportunity to talk very deliberately about this stage in my life. She and

I have always shared great conversations and she is certainly someone I can learn so much from as a woman. She has a rock-solid faith, is a wife and mother of three and during this time when so many opportunities present themselves before me, it is quite comforting to have someone near who has been through it all and is willing to share the lessons learned. At this point in my walk, I can start to see so many exciting details are working their way into place. Each one is such that it could cause a very different twist on the direction I’m heading right at this very moment. Through our most recent conversations, my friend has challenged me to remember that, though wearisome and taxing, this time is invaluable to me as a woman. It’s important that I savor this time and use it to grow in my own faith and my close, personal relationships. Her wisdom has allowed me to see that I will never have another chance to relive this year of my life. No matter what, I will never be able to get back this time of being single, dating Brandon with the sheer excitement of wondering what’s next for us or this time I have to be completely selfish with my time and energy. I share my late twenties with others who fret about pushing thirty. Understandably, they worry about health risks that are increasingly associated with pregnancy as they get older. They want the opportunity to grow their families while they are their most vibrant and energetic selves. I sometimes wonder if this should be more of a concern for me, if I should be thinking more about a timeline for my life. I do envy where they are on their own personal timelines. Having been married for several years, perhaps already with one or two children of their own, they are experiencing several of the things I hope and long for deep down. But, I continuously recognize that those feelings within myself are not anywhere near the surface at the moment. The desires at the forefront of my heart are those that include the pursuit of personal career goals, dating and getting to know the man of my dreams and talking non-stop about the possibilities in our future. At this very moment, twenty-six years into my life, I am perfectly happy to be right where I am. As I hear people share their own stories, I can see where this contentment is quite unique for women my age who share similar circumstances. Believe me, not everything in my life right now is coming up roses. Very rarely can I make it through a day without many a prayer and kind words or laughter from encouraging friends. But, all aspects – good, bad and ugly – are what make this time such a vital part of my journey. I celebrate this age with promise and hope, comforted (yet somewhat disappointed) by the realization that it will be gone before I know it.

Anna K. Pitts lives in Florence where she works at the Drs. Bruce and Lee Foundation Library doing children’s storytimes. She is vigorously pursuing her Master’s Degree in Library Science at USC. Go Gamecocks!

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 45

A H ARTSVILLE

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46

2/23/09

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shop talk

Sabrina Street and Debbie Weaver "Patient Coordinators"

with

Edward O’Dell, MD and Mary Daniels, LRC-CMA

Pictured below from top to bottom: Mary Daniels LRC-CMA (Fraxel Procedure) Catherine Hasty LE-CMA applying permanent eyebrows and Brook Lane, L.E. applying Jane Iredale Make-up Bottom Left: Dr. O’Dell (Smart Lipo)

Conveniently located at 1273 Celebration Boulevard, between West Palmetto Street and South Cashua Drive. ABOUT US: Genesis Cosmetic Laser Center is the only laser center in the state of SC to offer SmartLipo combined with Vaser Lipo Selection, which gives you ultimate results. This procedure is done in our office and requires no anesthesia. Only at Genesis Cosmetic Laser Center will you find both modalities of skin resurfacing – Fraxel (restore) and Fraxel (repair). Each of these state-of-the-art technologies has its own benefits. OUR MISSION STATEMENT: “Where Beauty Begins” – Our mission for every patient is to reveal their outward beauty using specialized medical treatments provided by caring professionals in a tranquil atmosphere and make available an everlasting inward beauty by sharing the joy of our loving God. “And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us . . .” (Psalm 90.17). STAFF: Our staff at Genesis Cosmetic Laser Center is dedicated to helping you look and feel your best. B. Edward O’Dell, MD, is a Board Certified Obstetrician/Gynecologist with over twenty-five years of laser experience. As the Medical director of Genesis Cosmetic Laser Center, Dr. O’Dell is certified in Advanced Fraxel Laser Technology, Cynosure Laser Hair Removal, Photo Rejuvenation, Vein Therapy, as well as Laser Tumescent Liposuction (Smart Lipo and Vaser Lipo). He is especially interested in Lipo-sculpting to areas of the body where pregnancy changes have not gone away despite dieting and exercise. Dr. O’Dell also injects BOTOX for facial wrinkles and creases. He takes pride in facial contouring by using one of several popular fillers such as Juvéderm or Radiesse. Mary Daniels, LRC - CMA, has over thirty years experience in her field of expertise. She is known as the expert in the field of laser physics, practices with lasers and lightbased therapies. Her knowledge of lasers is so well regarded, she is sought after by physicians as a consultant on how they should set up their laser practices and advises them on which lasers would best suit their needs. Mary has often been asked to interview estheticians for physicians and give her expert opinion on whom would be the best suitable candidate for their aesthetic practice.

PRODUCTS AND SERVICES: Genesis Cosmetic Laser Center offers a full range of cosmetic procedures, products and services, which include Fraxel, Botox, Smart Lipo, Vaser Lipo Selection, Vein Therapy, Acne Therapy, Hydra Facials, Chemical Peels, Cellulite Therapy, Microdermabrasion, Photo Rejuvenation, Permanent Makeup, Laser Hair Removal, Restylane, Radiesse and Juvéderm. Visit our website to view our extensive menu at www.genesiscosmeticlasercenter.com. Call us and come in for a complimentary consultation so we can determine which procedure will best suite your needs. MOST POPULAR SERVICES/PROCEDURES: Smart Lipo,Vaser Lipo Selection, Botox and Fraxel Treatments are our most popular procedures. These modalities will turn back the hands of time and give you a renewed confidence. FIND US: Genesis Cosmetic Laser Center is conveniently located at 1273 Celebration Boulevard, between West Palmetto Street and South Cashua Drive. Our hours of operation are Mondays and Wednesdays, 8:30 AM to 5:30 PM. Tuesdays and Thursdays, we are available from 8:30 AM to 7:00 PM. On Fridays, our hours are 8:30 AM to 3:00 PM. We can be reached by telephone at (843) 669-2220 or by fax at (843) 669-2234.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 47

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2/23/09

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FINALLY,

My

Turn by Ouida Page

At some point (and I can’t tell you when it will be), you say to yourself that it is finally your turn. It’s time for you to focus on you and decide just what you want to be when you grow up. Our society has taught us that concept and it can be a positive or a negative concept for you. The people that seem to have the most fun never grow up and find things to do that they enjoy and make them into hobbies or even a career. I have watched a lot of older people retire from one career and start a new and different career. I also know several people that have written books, as well. When you have raised your children and built a career, it’s time to focus on yourself and accomplish some of the goals and things on your list that you want to do. I believe that one of the biggest positives of aging is wisdom. Hopefully, your experiences and knowledge through the years have taught you wisdom. When you’re 35-years-old, you realize that there is a lot that you don’t know. When you’re 55 or 60, you realize that you know very little. I attribute this to knowing the difference between knowledge and wisdom. College students have lots of knowledge, but most of them have very little wisdom. Moses and Abraham had knowledge when they were young; but, when they became older, they had wisdom and this was when God began to use them the most. He used them in leadership positions and used all of their gifts. God also blessed Abraham, Joseph and others financially when they were older. As we know, King Solomon also had wisdom, but he lacked self-control. As we look at these individuals’ lives, we can learn from their experiences. In all of our lives, there needs to be a balance. As women, we need to balance knowledge with wisdom. We need to balance what types of foods we eat and we need to balance tasks and goals with physical exercise. When my father was sick for several years, my husband and I got out of the habit of working out at the YMCA. Now that we are back in full swing of our workout schedule, it’s amazing to realize how much better I would have felt if I had never stopped going. In other words, our mind and what we tell ourselves – our self-talk – is so important to accomplishing anything. I have been trying a personal experiment. Even when I don’t feel like going to work out and exercise, I have been going anyway. What I have discovered is that if I have back pain or other pain before I go to the YMCA, after I work out, I feel much better and have more energy. I think that this is called self-control. It’s doing what is best for your body even when your mind tells you, “No, you are tired” or “You don’t want to go; you’d rather stay home.” All successful athletes have strong, determined minds and bodies. They must determine in their minds that they will accomplish their intended goals and physical challenges. This mental process takes place before the physical process ever starts. It is continued control over your mind that seems to make the difference in achieving success. In summarizing some of the positive things about aging, you will find that you can make wiser choices and help other people clearly process information, as well, because of your experience and expertise and wisdom. You can continue to set goals and accomplish great and mighty things even as you get older. So, just do it! Let’s see the results and not hear the excuses.

Ouida K. Page is a Licensed Professional and National Board Certified Counselor. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing and is a member of Sigma Theta Tau (International Honor Society of Nursing). She has been in private practice in the Hartsville and Florence areas for over 15 years, specializing in families and issues relating to children, adolescents and women of all ages. She is married and has one son who has graduated from Wofford College. You may contact her by e-mailing [email protected] with “Ouida” as the subject matter.

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M

Morgan Lindsey Rolfe is an out-going, determined, fun-loving, energetic six-year-old blessing to the world. She loves first grade at Carver Elementary and she loves her many friends. (Her BFF is Taylor McLaurin.) She enjoys playing outside and collecting anything and everything she can get her hands on. Not to mention an extensive bug collection, she has a cat named Alee and a hamster named MingMing. Morgan also enjoys riding horses, roller skating and she recently began taking dance classes at Show Biz Studios. There are so many other great things I could tell you about our daughter, but her father and I can’t pass up the opportunity to share the cutest, most inspiring story. One sunny Saturday morning, my husband was helping a neighbor clean up a tree that had split in a recent storm. Morgan decided she would help him out. After being out there about an hour, my husband decided to slice her a few pieces of tree trunk to occupy her while he worked on the larger part of the tree. Morgan brought one piece to me and said that the “slice” of tree looked like a cake. She said, “I know, Mama, it’s a tree cake!” She was so excited and asked her daddy to bring all of them to the front porch for her to apply the “sprinkles” (sawdust) that she had collected in an old pickle jar. Then, she said, “I’m gonna sell tree cakes.” She asked for my help to get together a small table and chairs and move all nine of the tree cakes to the end of the driveway. My husband even made her a sign that read “Tree Cakes – 50 Cents.” (We really didn’t think anything of it. Who would ever buy a slice of a tree anyway?) Morgan was so excited; she had them all laid out beside the jar of optional “sprinkles.” As I continued with my Saturday morning chores, I glanced back out to the street to see the mail truck coming and I reminded Morgan to stay in the yard. A few moments later, much to my surprise, she came running to the house only to inform me that she had made her first sale. Morgan shouted,“The mail lady bought a tree cake!” We were all so excited for her. After a brief discussion with my husband, we decided we couldn’t pass up her ambitious streak, so I decided to run to the grocery store for lemonade supplies. Once I got back and made the lemonade, my husband had updated Morgan’s sign to read “Lemonade & Tree Cakes – 50 Cents.” We loaded up all of our lemonade supplies, tree cakes and sawdust sprinkles and headed to the corner stop sign.

Her first customer bought two cups of lemonade, but the second person stopped and said she just had to find out what in the world a “tree cake” was. We explained the events of our morning and she was sold. She wanted to buy one just because it was an ingenious idea manifested by the cutest six-year-old on the block. As I mentioned earlier, Morgan started with nine tree cakes. Much to our delight, she sold out and had to have her daddy make more. We estimated that Morgan sold about fifteen tree cakes and fifty cups of her thirst-quenching lemonade in three hours. Some of the tree cakes were purchased to make stepping blocks, a coffee table decoration or just to have as a neat conversation piece. One lady bought one for each of her grandchildren to paint and decorate. Morgan’s selling ability is amazing! We would like to say a special thank you to those that are either a part of our community or who just happened through on a busy Saturday and took the time to stop. We also want to let other parents know that when their child feels ready to venture out, don’t hinder them because it could be an opportunity to make a special memory – not to mention a boost for their child’s confidence.

This month’s “Wee She” was submitted by Morgan’s mother, Cathy Rolfe. If you would like to nominate a little girl for “Wee She,” send an e-mail to [email protected] with “Wee She” Nomination as the subject.

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2/25/09

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Growing Old Gracefully: What I Learned From My Mother

by Carol Adams, PhD

“She was one of those people who lived their lives as they felt they should and didn’t need to always be pointing things out to others about it.”

Å

As many regular readers know, my mother lived to be a centenarian. She died a little over a year ago at the beautiful age of 104. I have only written one article for She since her death. I always loved writing my articles and have a folder full of them at home that I’m saving for my granddaughter. Somehow, I just didn’t seem to have much to say about anything after she died. Melia, patient and persistent, knew how much I loved writing and has again asked me to do an article after many refusals this past year. Maybe this story will jumpstart my love of writing again. I do hope so. Most of the lessons I learned from my mother about aging were through observation. She was one of those people who lived their lives as they felt they should and didn’t need to always be pointing things out to others about it. For example, at 104, you know her joints and bones had to ache every time she stood up from a sitting position. But, never, in my entire life, did I hear her get up with a groan (like I am prone to do!) or a complaint. How many times have you heard someone say,“Don’t complain; nobody wants to hear it!” I’ve heard it many times, but never from my mother. Obviously, she must have known that because she just didn’t complain. In fact, each day of her life, she thanked God for another day and had as a goal to try to do at least one thing nice for someone else. My mother didn’t gossip or speak negatively about others. Again, she didn’t go around reminding you she didn’t do it; she just didn’t do it and if she heard someone else doing it, pretty quickly she would point out something good about the maligned individual or quietly change the subject. She was adamant about things like seeing her doctor annually for a checkup (which I always considered interesting from someone of her generation). She was never ill; but, just the same, once a year, she went in to see our family doctor. Come to think of it, maybe that’s why she was never ill. Another observation of my mother that I guess I admire the most – as life gave her obstacles, she adjusted. She had great flexibility. When there were deaths in the family (her husband of 48 years, two of her sons), she mourned but

somehow found reasons to be thankful and continue to live. She could have easily given up so many times in her life, but she never did. She never questioned why these things happened to her. Another thing I admired about her was that she said sweet prayers. She always ended these by saying,“God’s will should be done.” Sometimes, I must admit that I get so busy asking God to do things that I don’t think (or want) to say, “If it’s Your will.” I just want it to happen as I ask. Obviously, there’s something here I haven’t learned yet. She was immensely proud of her children and felt that they could do whatever they set their minds to. There was an expectation from her that we would do what we should in this life and, for me, that always kept me from doing things growing up that I knew would draw her disapproval. I didn’t want to disappoint my mother! (Not to mention the fact that if I did do something wrong, I had to sit and listen to her calmly and patiently explain to me why I should not have done it and expressing confidence that I would not ever do it again now that I understood why I shouldn’t.) From a practical standpoint, her best ability was her handling of money. I don’t know how she made her money seem as if it were twice as much. Lots of people say that it’s because my mother’s contemporaries grew up in the Great Depression and they learned the value of money. Maybe that will be the one positive thing that will come out of this horrible economic crisis that this country is in – we’ll all learn to handle our money more wisely. So, I know this sounds like a tribute to my mother – and I guess it is. But, hey, if you live to be 104 and your family thinks you’re about the most terrific role model they’ve ever known, then I think you deserve it. She saw many things change in her lifetime – going from President Theodore Roosevelt to President George W. Bush, experiencing two world wars, transportation explosions and technology greater than she could have even dreamed of as a child. I wonder how many of us will make it 100 years. If we do, I hope we’ll have a lot of my mother’s qualities.

Carol Adams, PhD, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with McLeod Family Medicine Center in Florence.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 53

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2/24/09

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Thyroid Gland: The Tiny Titan THIS COMMON DENOMINATOR CAN ASSURE YOUR HEALTH IS ON AN EVEN KEEL by Dr. Curt Charnes

Your thyroid is a tiny, butterfly-shaped gland located in your throat, in front of your windpipe. Chances are you’ve probably never given it much, if any, thought. But if you’ve ever been diagnosed with thyroid problems, you know that this small, powerful gland can have a big impact on your health. As a Family Practitioner handling a wide variety of medical issues on a daily basis, I find myself frequently discussing thyroid disease with my patients.While very common, because they share many similar symptoms with other medical disorders, thyroid disorders are frequently misdiagnosed or go unnoticed and untreated. More than 27 million Americans struggle with thyroid disorders, according to the National Institutes of Health and, of these, 13 million Americans may not even be aware they have a thyroid problem, according to a recent study published in the November 2008 issue of the Archives of Internal Medicine. The reason many people remain undiagnosed is that symptoms of a possible thyroid problem are easily attributed to another cause: fatigue, anxiety, depression, irritability, unexplained weight gain or weight loss, carpal tunnel syndrome, changes in bowel habits or the menstrual cycle, difficulty concentrating and excessively dry skin or hair. Often a patient will schedule an appointment to talk about their weight, firmly believing that their thyroid is to blame.We are all aware that obesity is a serious nationwide problem and, specifically, an area of concern in the Pee Dee Region. While weight gain is a noticeable symptom of a possible thyroid problem, more often than not the obesity concerns I encounter have little to do with the individual’s thyroid and more to do with a high calorie diet and lack of exercise. These patients can see improvements with only slight behavior modifications. Those individuals with true thyroid issues, however, must take a different path to achieve good health. The most common form of hypothyroidism is called Chronic Autoimmune (Hashimoto’s) Thyroiditis. This condition causes lower levels of hormones known as triiodothyronine (T3) and thyroxine (T4), which help deliver oxygen to your body’s cells and convert oxygen and calories to energy, fueling your metabolism. These hormones affect many vital body functions: the heart rate, the respiratory rate, the rate at which calories are burned, skin maintenance, growth, body temperature, muscle strength, brain and nervous system, cholesterol levels, fertility and digestion.Thyroid hormone production is regulated by thyroid-stimulating hormone (TSH), which is made by the pituitary gland, located in your brain. Hyperthyroidism, although not as common as hypothyroidism, causes an overproduction of thyroid hormones. Some common signs and symptoms include warm skin, excessive sweating, loosening of fingernails and hair loss.This condition is particularly dangerous for diabetics, as it can significantly affect an individual’s blood sugar levels. When the thyroid produces too little or too much of these important regulating hormones, it can throw your body’s delicately-tuned balancing act out of kilter. Left untreated, thyroid disease can increase the risk of cardiovascular disease, infertility, osteoporosis, high cholesterol, diabetes, obesity, anemia, arthritis, autoimmune disorders and intestinal problems.

Thyroid problems can arise in several ways: an infection, recent childbirth, a family history of thyroid disorders, excessive exposure to radiation such as x-rays, inadequate nutrition and cancerous or non-cancerous tumor growth. Thyroid conditions affect primarily older people and women, with women being five to ten times more likely than men to be afflicted with a thyroid disorder. One in eight women in America will develop a thyroid disorder over her lifetime. Older women and women who have recently had a baby are more likely to develop a thyroid condition – more than 15% of women are diagnosed with hypothyroidism by the age of 60 and up to 20% of women develop a post-partum thyroid disorder. To keep tabs on your thyroid, be sure to see a doctor for regularly scheduled check-ups – and if you’re experiencing any symptoms that suggest a thyroid problem, ask for a thyroid test, which is a simple blood test. Some endocrinologists suggest that everyone have thyroid testing at 35 years of age and every few years thereafter. The good news is, thyroid problems are very treatable and there are several options: antithyroid medication and radioiodine therapy or surgery to name a few.Your physician can help you decide the best course of treatment. For more information on keeping your thyroid healthy, visit the web site of the American Thyroid Association at www.thyroid.org.

Common Signs of a Troubled Thyroid • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Fatigue, exhaustion Depression Difficulty concentrating, brain fog Unexplained/excessive weight gain/loss Dry, coarse and/or itchy skin Dry, coarse and/or thinning hair Feeling cold, especially in the extremities Changes in bowel habits Muscle cramps Changes in the menstrual cycle Infertility/miscarriage Nervousness, irritability Increased perspiration Muscular weakness, especially in the upper arms and thighs Shaky hands Insomnia Racing heart

Curt B. Charnes, M.D. is board certified in Family Medicine. He is affiliated with Pee Dee Family Physicians and is a Member of the Medical Staff at Carolinas Hospital System.

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To turn the “Big 40” in April excites me! Through the years, I have finally realized that with age comes wisdom – and I am definitely in need of wisdom! I’ve learned to respect and listen to my elders as they have walked the path that I am taking. I’m beginning to become more settled in my ways and I look forward to the opportunities that lie before me. My children are twelve and eight and are bringing their excitement into my life, as well. Experiencing

IN HIS OWN WORDS

57

their journeys together makes it even more enjoyable at 40. In my late teens and into my twenties, I was a Paramedic in the Charleston area, where I grew up. With that position comes many experiences such as visualizing life and death. I believe that through those years, I gained the valuable lesson on the importance of truly living life to its fullest as tomorrow is never promised. From children to adults, injury and death have no barriers. I’m celebrating my age and viewing life at forty with a lot of

respect. I’m also celebrating by having more patience.

Being young and being patient do not mesh. In your twenties, you take everything for granted. Though a great experience, you realize the importance of respecting life at 40. I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now: One of the most important rules is that there are always two sides to every story; never pass judgment without hearing them both. Dreams I Look Forward to Coming to Fruition: My dream is to retire in my 50s and spend more time with my lovely wife and family. What Keeps Me Young: I think that thinking young keeps me young. Downside to Getting Older: The only negative that I can relate to getting older is my body’s inability to keep up with me. There are a few more aches and pains now and then than there were twenty years ago. The Best Thing About Adding More Candles to My Birthday Cake: Better toys! My Thoughts About Women and Aging: To me, women age so beautifully! Men have odd things happen to them as they age. Women, on the other hand, enhance their glow as they age. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen – in body, mind and soul – is my wife, Donna.

John Isgett John Isgett poses in front of a 2008 Ford Shelby GT500KR Mustang, which also celebrates its 40th birthday this year!

John Isgett and his wife, Donna, have two children, Sarah Caroline (12) and John Thomas, III, (9). He is the President of the Raceway Automotive Group and Colt-Thomas, LLC. He enjoys traveling and recreational flying. He has a personal quest in finding the best-of-the-best as it relates to not only food, but adrenaline-related activities such as roller coasters (the fastest and most exciting!). John serves publicly as a board member at the Byrnes Schools, Florence, Billie Hardee Home for Boys, Darlington, the Pee Dee Regional EMS Council, Florence and the Darlington Jetport Commission, Darlington.

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2/23/09

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Finding New Meaning to v

“. . . And Many More” by Rebecca J. Blair

T

There are so many things that can be said about age and aging. In preparing to write this article, I researched what others say about age, youth, death and everything in between. It’s one topic that we all must face and none can avoid. In fact, there are so many witty quotes and zany theories that I got overwhelmed and couldn’t decide where to begin. I drafted several versions of articles that never said what I wanted to say. In doing so, however, I finally figured out what I did want to say. I think that’s what being in your thirties is all about; you may not know what to say, but you can still say something anyway. I’m 34-years-old. As some of you may know from previous articles, I’m married and my husband and I don’t have children (at least none that aren’t furred or feathered). I had always looked forward to my thirties as an almost magical stage of life wherein I would have accomplished all the things I’d set out to do academically and would be a successful, wealthy, independent woman. (Those of you who know me are either laughing or crying right now as I am really none of those things.) Nonetheless, the great thing about being in my thirties is – I’m okay with that. My teens and twenties were tumultuous years and while I did get a lot of life experience, I didn’t finish my formal education. Financial concerns seem to be the norm and I confess that I am quite interdependent on my husband. These are things that ten years ago would have completely killed me. I was so hard on myself and had such high expectations of what I thought I should be doing, what I thought I should look like, how I thought I should act. I have learned that you can “should” yourself to death. (Try saying that fast out loud. It really drives the point home.) Simply, I have learned to have grace with myself. I do believe that grace is the proper term, as it applies to unmerited favor. There are still many things about myself which I could pick apart and then get stuck in melancholic self-stuff. In the past, I did that quite well. Now that I am older, I’ve figured out that no matter how hard I try, I will never be perfect. I will never please everyone. There will always be someone or something negative around. While I still value other’s input and feedback, I no longer use it as the measuring stick to decide who I am – or even how I am. This may seem like a small thing; but, for me, it has been life-changing. It’s exhausting to live for everyone’s approval. Being freed of that need for approval has meant that I make choices based on what is best for me, not what looks best to the world. I’m able to ask for help when I need it instead of thinking that I have to figure it out myself or else I will be a failure. I no longer avoid going places because I’m unhappy with the way I look. I certainly don’t worry if I leave the house with my face un-made and hair un-done. Who really cares?

It’s a wonderful kind of freedom – one that has led to many changes in the way I live. In my younger years, I loved the frantic pace of city life and couldn’t fathom living in South Carolina again. It wasn’t fast enough, progressive enough or glamorous enough for me. If I couldn’t see six lanes of traffic moving and hear three different languages being spoken all at once, I thought I was in the wrong place. The thirties-me wouldn’t find that so charming. Now I live in a modest house six miles out in the country; our nearest neighbor is not even within shouting distance. You may have to wait an hour before you’ll see a car go by. Mostly, the sounds you hear are of cows lowing and birds singing – and I love it. Whereas before, the lack of activity would have made me anxious, now I can soak up the peace that surrounds me. There are, however, some things about being in my thirties that are kind of strange. (Surreal, actually, may be a better way to describe them.) Looking in the mirror and realizing that, yep, I really am 34-years-old is an odd feeling. Wasn’t I just in high school? How can that really have been twenty years ago? Twenty?! The big question I would like answered is,“When did I become an adult – and do I have to be?” I know I’m not alone in feeling the surrealism of age. Writer, Doris Lessing was quoted as saying,“The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven’t changed in seventy or eighty years. Your body changes, but you don’t change at all. And, that, of course, causes great confusion.” I would have to agree, Ms. Lessing. It is indeed a confusing thing to reconcile. Lately, I’ve been hooked on Facebook and have enjoyed reconnecting with former classmates, among others. The accompanying nostalgia has made me see how naïve, oblivious and just plain dumb I was when I was younger. It’s a shame we only learn in retrospect how little we know. I’m amazed that I survived! Of course, on Facebook, most of my friends have children. It sometimes brings me up short to realize how different (or how easy) my life is compared to most of my contemporaries. I know that (in many ways) this will be the dividing line of my thirties and forties – the thing that makes me most different. Although it’s a painful realization, the contentment of my thirties makes it something I’ve made a peace about. I understand that I can still be deeply rooted even if I’m not blooming; I can have a generational impact even if not on my own biological children. I’m thankful for that and whatever the future brings for our family. I’m looking forward to my forties for greater wisdom and an even greater peace with myself and others. For now, I’ll enjoy my thirties. I hope that you, too, will find it to be a time for you to find your voice and step into yourself.

Rebecca J. Blair manages the counseling office of Janet R. Sims, P.A., in Florence. She lives in Lake City with her husband, Michael, their three dogs and a cockatiel. Connect with her on Facebook.

2/19/09

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 59

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665.4343 or 1.800.868.7613 www.stokeseye.com

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Starting Over at Any Age by Latrelle P. Fowler, RN, PhD

D

Do you hear the alarm going off in your head that says,“Half my life is over. Is this all there is?” Are you falling asleep again or interested in “falling awake” to the purpose and life that you feel is most authentic for you? While it’s tempting to turn over and settle in under the comfortable blanket of familiarity, this article is meant to challenge you to redefine your true purpose and start intentional living. Where do you begin when your life has always been defined with family, motherhood, a marriage or a job that has now ended? Like many others, I have always been defined in these ways: “Daphne’s little sister, Tony’s wife and the mother of two sons.” Now, after age 50, I’m asking, “Am I who God intended me to be? Will my life matter to anyone whenever it’s over?” These are normal thoughts for midlife empty-nesters (particularly women) to ponder. The temptation is to jump from one job or one marriage to another in this search, but this quest is really an inward journey for one to take. Start by entering into a day of solitude. Take a day to meet yourself on the beach, with no agenda except to think and relax. Journal as ideas come forth or jot down some brief thoughts that you’ve always pushed away before. Listen to pleasant music and dream for at least one hour alone. Answer these questions: If I had only ten more years to live, I would definitely want to . . . . As I am living my dream job, I am doing . . . and I hope that I’ll be remembered as someone who . . . . My purpose is really about . . . . If the entire day for yourself is impossible, find one hour each week to do this until you’re in touch with your deepest desires. Only as we explore our passions and dreams can we get in touch with our unique nature – the color and texture of our very lives that bring out our best. I have often said,“Just because I can do this task doesn’t mean that I am called to do it.” At midlife, we have unique opportunities to begin again to define our priorities and purpose. Ten great things about a midlife crisis are: • • • • • • • • •

You’re naturally forcing yourself to make changes that you’ve probably avoided all your life. You’ll discover who you really are – if you search hard enough. You’ll discover lost passions and interests that make you unique. You’ll dress however you feel like – not how others think you should dress. You have this chance to live the rest of your life to the fullest. You’ll start to say what you think rather than what you think others want to hear. You’re not going to be so scared to do the things you’ve always wanted to do. You might let go a little and show your hidden emotions at last. You’ll have the perspective of half your life to know there is another half out there that needs filling. • You’ll know how to fill it.

Perhaps you’re not at midlife, but changes in the economy or your personal situation have propelled you into a new horizon. The previously described exercise can still work for you and you might like to try this one, as well. • Define what you do not want in life: i.e., poverty, obesity, struggles in relationships that leave you awake at night or divorce. • Ask a trusted friend or life coach to listen to your vision or your perfect day, what makes the entire year your best in life yet and what you want in the perfect relationship. In doing so, you express most of your top values. • Share your calendar with the life coach or friend and examine how close it mirrors the priorities and values stated. • Talk with a confidant or life coach about why you keep having the same struggles repeatedly and how you would be different if you could get out of it. In doing this, you already begin to let go and see solutions for getting unstuck.

Latrelle P. Fowler, RN, PhD and Life Coach lives in Florence with her husband,Tony.

Starting Over at Any Age: Mary Lee Gannon states in a recent article that when you make changes in your life . . ., those changes scare you a little, invigorate you a lot and/or the ambivalence can sometimes paralyze you. You just don’t know if you can make it work, but you know you have the energy to make a difference. What you don’t realize is that you have already been through this before and succeeded. Just start right now doing what you believe to be your purpose! How you met these early challenges head-on is exactly how you will overcome any new challenge. Remember the first day of school, the first day at camp, the team tryouts, going away to college, first leaving home or starting a new job? You weren’t sure if people would like you or your book bag. You couldn’t count on getting played a lot in every game. You didn’t know if the lonely feeling of standing out would dissipate to reward. How you met these challenges head-on is exactly how you will overcome any new challenge. Try to recall how you taught yourself to accept (or change) a difficult situation. You’ve learned some ways to cope and therefore you can strategize for even better success. Acceptance comes first so that your emotions aren’t in the way when you need to plan – and planning is imperative for success. For example, if you’ve struggled with managing weight most of your life (like me), then you know how to start over with a new attitude – a plan for you and how to build support systems so that you will know where to go when you need encouragement. For many,WeightWatchers provides built-in support systems such as meetings, food plans, wise snack options and ways to set realistic goals. But, the desire to change – as well as the motivation and perseverance – must come from within me. As I accept where I am, then I can choose to go forward. Even when I take steps that feel backward, I learn that feelings are temporary and I can start again with each new day. Clearly, there are huge gaps in how some individuals may have envisioned their marriages or career and their present realities. In the gap, however, there is the growth – the spiritual gold we can find as we polish up the tangled web of chains that bind us to our negative emotions and untruthful thinking. Perhaps you have lived a Cinderella dream so long that you still look for the perfect relationship or job, but most women eventually admit that this is a fairytale. As we embrace the marriage (or job) where we presently find ourselves, God can bring about real change. We may change the view of ourselves as we look to the opportunities to grow in the day-to-day struggles we have to face. In doing so, we build our own endurance, patience or perseverance that will eventually be our survival skills in the face of even worse trials. In God’s Holy Bible, we are challenged by a great prophet, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you” (Joshua 3:5).

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 61

P RESENTS THE LAKE CITY COMMUNITY THEATRE On Thursday, March 19, Friday, March 20 and Saturday, March 21 at 8:00pm, and Sunday, March 22 at 3:00pm the Blanding Street Theatre in Lake City, South Carolina will come alive with a cast of 80 youth and adults singing and dancing their way through the very popular musical, The Music Man. Tickets for The Music Man will go on sale to the general public starting on March 10, 2009 at The Greater Lake City Chamber of Commerce in the Historic Railway Station in Town Square (843-374-8611) The Music Man, book, music and lyrics by Meredith Willson, was presented as the first Lake City Community Theatre production in 1989. That show was so well received by the Lake City area that there has been a musical production every year since then. Once again the director is A. Glen Gourley, Professor of Theatre at Francis Marion University. Cliff Gardner, band director at Ronald E. McNair Middle School and J. Paul Truluck Middle School, is the accompanist.

Celebrating 20 Years

Professor Harold Hill, played by Kevin Buchanan, arrives in River City, Iowa on July 4th, 1912 with the intention of cheating the community with his standard scam of offering to equip and train a boy's band and then skipping town with the money as he has no music skill at all. His old friend, Marcellus, played by Roger Kirby, recognizes him and is curious about his reasons for being in River City as he tells him they already have a music teacher, Marian Paroo, played by Donna Reese. Harold convinces the townspeople that the newly arrived pool table that has been placed in the billiard parlor could mean “Trouble in River City” and many of them fall for his scheme. Harold does not count on falling in love with Marian, played by Donna Reese, however. When the “Wells Fargo Wagon” arrives in River City will the band instruments be on board or will Marian's younger brother,Winthrop, played by Braydon Smith, be disappointed?

Join us

March 19 - 22 th

nd

Blanding Street Auditorium, Lake City, SC

Some of the people who will appear in various parts of the play were also in The Music Man in 1989. Reveley Thomy who was Marian is now playing the part of Mrs. Paroo. Happy Pendergraft was Marcellus and this time he is a member of the School Board/quartet. Ginny Graham-Peele will again play Eulalie MacKecknie Shinn, the Mayor's wife. The cast of 80 youth and adults will make the town of River City, Iowa, come alive with wonderful music and authentic early 20th century costumes.

Ticket Information: 843-374-8611

“This project is funded in part by the Florence Regional Arts Alliance, which receives support from the National Endowment For the Arts & Florence County Vistors and Convention Bureau”

Tribute to Women and Industry (TWIN) Presents

Monday, March 16, 2009 11:30am-1:00pm Carolinas Hospital System, Floyd Conference Center (located off Freedom Boulevard in Florence, SC) $5 donation includes lunch

Twin Honorary Board Members Carol Adams - Psyc h o l ogist, McLeod Re gional Medical Center Jodi Beauregard - COO, Carolinas Hospital System Joan Billheimer - C o m munity Dev e l o p m e n t O ff i c e r, Firs t Reliance Bank

Elizabeth Cooper - Vice President, Public

and Community Aff airs, Francis Marion Univ e rsity Darryl Davids - Chairman, HR Manag er at GE Healthcare Terry Dingle - Dire c t o r o f Internal Relations, Flore n c e Darlington-Te chnical Colleg e Jill Heiden - Vice President for Institutional Adv ancement, Florence Darlington-Te chnical Colleg e Pam Little-McDaniel - Dire c t o r, Public Info rm ation, Fl o rence School District #1 Charlene Lowery - Assistant to Congressman Cly burn Michele Pridgen - Assistant Manag e r o f Administration, Honda o f South Carolina Mfg., I n c. Libby Wiersema - Freelance Writer

2008 Twin Honorees Candy Carter - Vice President

of Corp o rate Relations, American Heart Asso., Mid-Atlantic Affiliat e, Pee Dee Off i c e Costa Cockfield - Chief Nursing Off i c e r, Carolinas Hospital System Bonita Davis - Process Engineer, GE Healthcare Suzanne Dawsey - Associate Vice President of G e n e ral and Te chnical, Florence-Darlington Te chnical Colleg e Lafreda Doctor - Manag e r, Talent Manag ement & Human Re s o u rc e Serv i c e s, First Reliance Bank Marie Long - Dire c t o r o f D evelopment, Pee Dee Coalition Dollie Newhouse - Dire c t o r o f Career Dev elopment, Francis Marion Univ e rsity Michelle Sansbury - Lean Leader, GE Healthcare Marie Segars - Administrator & Senior Vice President, McLeod Health

Guest Speaker: Latrelle Fowler RN, Life Coach Professional Development Resources, LLC

For additional info rm ation and re gistration please contact: Bonita Davis (843), 664-1659; Pam Little-McDaniel, (843) 671-1107; Libby Wiersema, (843) 679-9332

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C

HICKS

of the

M

ONTH

Front Row (left to right): Sheila Glenn,Tammy Wilkerson, Reagan Blackmon, Micaela Ryles • Back Row (left to right): Dr Kimberly Dickerson, Pamela Howard, Jerlonda Parrott, Ebony Graham, Cierra Black, Christy Hyatt, Shannon Walters,Tamika Williams,Therea Johnson, Quiwanna Britton, Anitra Brunson Not Pictured: Rita Hardwick, Morrisa Robinson,Tameka Clavon, Dr. Medrina, Dr. Nicole, Dr. Creed, Freda Brown, Debbie Rucker,Teneia Corbin

In a letter to

She Magazine, Micaela Ryles, with Small Smiles Dental Clinic in Florence, wrote:

The Small Smiles Dental Clinic Staff is indeed worthy of being

She

Every day, we face new challenges that

Magazine’s “Chicks of can only be managed with teamwork.

the Month.” Each of us shows hard work, ded- Hundreds of children visit our clinic each week ication and compassion to provide quality den- and we make sure all of them are cared for tal care for our children. It’s been four years

properly, as well as efficiently. Nothing makes

since our company’s Florence location started us more proud than to know we are helping and, today, we still give our best efforts to keep our “little people” feel physically and emotionour children, our parents and each other ally better about themselves. We are simply happy and comfortable.

She Magazine addresses the public like no other magazine we know. It helps the local businesses advertise and freely supports new endeavors. We truly appreciate

She Magazine

for everything it stands for – especially the empowerment of women – and we would be

Shes’ “Chicks of the Month.” Thank you, She Magazine!

honored to be

giving beautiful smiles to our future.

She Magazine & Chick-Fil-A salutes The Staff of Small Smiles Dental Clinic in Florence If you would like to receive lunch courtesy of She Magazine and Chick-fil-A at the Magnolia Mall, Magnolia Mall Drive-In and Florence Darlington Tech locations, send a brief e-mail telling us why your office or group should be Chicks of the Month to: [email protected]

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2/24/09

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 63

Lake City

TOBACCO FESTIVAL “Join us for the most fabulous weekend of the Summer!”

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ÂZtà{xÜ|Çz tà à{x `tÜ~xàÊ NEWS

This month is an excellent time to mulch your flower bed and garden spot before April’s planting season!

Local Artisans

&Craftsman Work

VENDORS WANTED CALL FOR MORE INFORMATION

843•374•8611

Official Trollbead Dealer

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_t~x V|àç KGFAFJGAFCHG

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2/24/09

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CarryingON by Marti Miller

T

wo years ago this month marked the beginning of a wonderful journey as a contributing writer for this magazine, when I submitted an article for the fifth year anniversary celebration publication.The topic was very similar to this one: tell us why you are glad to be your age.Well, I’m two years older and, for the most part, still very glad to be my age, which is currently 54 years and nine months (also known as nearly 55, in my mid-50’s, not yet 60, old enough to know better and young enough to keep learning, over the hill but not yet around the bend). What has happened in these two years to keep me so content to be here? Three things, really: finding faith, keeping hope, and knowing love. Sounds rather simple, doesn’t it - kind of trite and wishy-washy, like one of the sappier (is that a word?) Hallmark cards? It’s not, really – not at all. In fact it has not been at all simple; it has been decidedly difficult and problematic. My natural state, unfortunately, is to spend much energy in the rejection of faith, hope, and love triangle (wait, that doesn’t sound right, does it?). I have had a rather intimate and long-term relationship with melancholy, cynicism, and self-loathing. (It’s getting kind of depressing just reading this stuff, isn’t it?) I tend to think that when I wrote that first article two years ago, I wasn’t truly happy to be 52 – I just desperately WANTED to be that way.The difference now is that I actually AM content to be my own age. I am not particularly content to be looking my age, but I guess that’s a story for a different day. Things got much worse after the March 2007 article before they began to get better in the faith, hope, and love areas. Let’s backtrack a little. Because I was writing an article as a “newbie”, I had to meet a submission deadline of late January. (After becoming a regular contributor, you get to screech in breathlessly under the wire on the 20th of the month – a great date for a procrastinator and a huge headache for an editor) Before writing that first article, I had experienced three life-altering events in quick succession: my husband lost his 18 month cancer battle on the last day of June just two months after we fled the north for the comforts of the south, my dad died in a nursing home in mid December just short of the 90th birthday he was sure he would see, and my son nearly died in a completely avoidable truck/telephone pole collision just one week later. By January of 2007, it seemed to me that I had lost or nearly lost all of the significant men in my life. Then in March 2007, weeks after the article was published, months after loving care from new neighbors and friends, and at the end of a Beth Moore study, I came to know the one who would never leave. Even then, however, I had quite a bit of work to do in order to get to that contentment I am beginning to know at almost 55. Interestingly, God sent the son I had nearly lost to live with me while he began his own journey to a better life. It turns out that while I was so very busy feeling sorry for me and grieving the loss of my husband, I had failed to recognize the real losses accumulating in our youngest son’s life. He was riding a serious downward spiral and very nearly spun completely out of sight. Between July of 2007 and February 2009, my baby boy (and I wonder why our relationship has had its struggles?) was fully returned to me, just in time for me to let him go again, as he boarded the bus for BCT (basic combat training…yes, I can learn new things) at Ft. Benning on February 18th. Our relationship had been fractured since his mid-teen years. I knew he preferred his father’s company to mine; he made that quite clear. He relished, it seemed to me, flunking his 11th grade English class mostly because I had been an English teacher. He excelled in history – one of his father’s loves. My son had planned to be a GI Joe since he was about 11 years old, while I feverishly insisted

that he should instead be Joe College. We were like oil and water – I could reference this chemistry all the way back to breastfeeding days, but that might prove to be much too embarrassing for both of us. (Uh-oh, too late.) The intervening years between graduating high school (a semester late, much to my chagrin) and the fulfillment of his Army hopes at the ripe old age of 24 were fraught with problems and side-tracks and heated arguments and frosty silences and worse. The best we could do usually was to barely tolerate each other – until I began to learn the true definitions of faith and hope and love – the ones that do not center on me, me, and me. Certainly, we are both still works of clay in progress. He has not yet chosen to study under the Great Tutor. It is my hope that he will one day. I have faith that God’s grace will be upon him as he begins this long-sought journey of marching on in service to his country. I love that he is becoming the man he wanted to be but could not find. Oh dear. It appears that I have digressed a bit from the “happy to be my age” topic, doesn’t it? Let’s see if I can pull this back together now.To review:The reasons I am happy to be almost 55 are faith, hope, and love. I have faith. I see hope. I know love. They are all reflected back to me as I sit here remembering the face of my son as he turned toward his future and away from home. I wished that his dad could have been here to see him take those steps. But it’s okay that he is not. Contentment, after all, doesn’t rely on people or places or things. The storms will continue to come and the peace within them can be found, at least for me, in faith, hope, and love – whether we are 13 or 38 or 83 or, like me, almost 55.And, please, would someone reading this today promise to remind me of what I have written the first time I start whining about not hearing from the aforementioned son as often as I deem appropriate. If you could also remind me that life is not at all about me, I would probably appreciate that too.

h Marti Miller lives and breathes in Marion, where she hopes to continue keeping the faith and loving the age she is, even when she can’t count that high anymore.

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2/19/09

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Chic k Lit What’s on

Cindy Schuh’s Best-Seller List?

Just Breathe by Susan Wiggs

Cindy Schuh and her husband, Darrell, live in Florence. They are happily married with two children, Sam and Caroline. Cindy is an avid reader and member of a local book club, “Chicklit.” She is a stay-at-home mom, an active volunteer at Carver Elementary and a member of Cornerstone Baptist Church.

C

hicago cartoonist, Sarah Moon grew up in a small town in Northern California.

learn to trust him again or will she be a strong independent woman like the one in

Soon after her high school graduation, she left and went to college in Chicago. She

her comic strip and raise these two children on her own. While she is deciding

couldn’t get away from the small town of Glenmuir fast enough. While in college,

what to do, she reconnects with someone that she went to high school with – Will

she met her husband, Jack Daly. Early in their marriage, Jack was diagnosed with

Bonner, the high school heartthrob that she secretly had a crush on years earlier.

cancer. Sarah did everything for him while he was sick.

Will is divorced and raising a daughter on his own.

After Jack was cancer free, they decided to start a family. The cancer, how-

Sarah soon realizes the small town that she disliked as a girl growing up is

ever, had taken a toll on Jack’s ability to have children. They decided to undergo fer-

not as bad as she thought before. Old friends, family and Will are there to support

tility treatments. Sarah was devoted to Jack; she wanted to give him the perfect life

her in any way that they can. Sarah learns to become her own person once again

and perfect family. She thought she was doing everything right; however, Sarah was

after she comes to terms with the fact that she lost herself while she was married

wrong. She did not foresee her husband’s infidelity. She left Chicago and went back

to Jack. She depended solely on him and now, it was time to depend on herself.

to the small town that she had tried to escape years earlier. As Sarah comes to terms with her broken marriage, she soon finds out that she is pregnant with twins. What will she do? Will she go back to her husband and

I enjoyed Sarah’s story – one that demonstrates that no matter what life may bring, there is always happiness to be found.

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2/25/09

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McLeod Physician Associates

Treating

Varicose and Spider Veins

Dr. Ed Lee By Dr. Ed Lee, Pee Dee Surgical Group of McLeod Physician Associates

I

It has been estimated that between 10% and 20% of adults in the United States have varicose veins, and up to 50% of woman by age 50 will have telangiectatic leg veins or as they are more commonly known, spider veins. Although most patients seeking treatment do so for cosmetic reasons, up to 50% of patients with varicose veins will develop more serious conditions including superficial thrombophlebitis and leg ulceration. The difference between varicose and spider leg veins is size. Tortuous veins greater than four millimeters to five millimeters in diameter are referred to as varicose, veins between one millimeter and four millimeters in diameter are referred to as reticular, and veins less than one millimeter in diameter are referred to as telangiectasias (spider veins). The most common factor in the development of unwanted leg veins is family history. Other factors that may contribute to the development of varicose veins include:

• Any activity or condition that increases abdominal pressure •

•

• •

(such as pregnancy) causes the veins to dilate. Standing for long periods of time, lack of exercise, obesity, constipation, wearing high heel shoes, and wearing tight undergarments all increase abdominal pressure. The use of estrogen and/or progesterone hormone supplementation for birth control or postmenopausal symptoms also causes a dilatation of the vein wall. Localized trauma, being hit with a tennis ball or other object may initiate vein enlargement. Sun damaged skin may also lead to telangiectasias through degradation of elastin and collagen.

Varicose and spider veins arise from and may also be an indicator of underlying venous disease. Venous disease occurs when there is a reversal of blood flow impeding its return to the heart. All veins have a system of valves, which open to allow flow of blood to the heart and close to prevent back flow, otherwise known as reflux of blood to the foot.When the valves fail to function properly, blood leaks through and flows down the leg in the wrong direction overfilling and distending the superficial veins with excessive pressures leading to chronic venous insufficiency.

Regardless of the underlying etiology event leading to venous hypertension, the point of reflux or veins with malfunctioning valves must be treated first. The primary goal is to locate the point of high-pressure reflux. This is accomplished with duplex ultrasound scanning, which allows visualization of the abnormal vein and its connections. The findings of a duplex-venous ultrasound will determine the appropriate treatment which may be sclerotherapy, catheter closure with a laser system for larger veins, or removal of large subcutaneous veins with phlebectomy instruments. Surgical ligation and vein stripping are essentially procedures of the past. For varicose veins greater than one centimeter in diameter and for patients with greater saphenous vein disease or small saphenous vein disease, endovenous catheter closures of these veins with laser or radiofrequency catheters has been greater than 95% effective. For veins four millimeters to ten millimeters in diameter, ambulatory phlebectomy (removal of veins with small hooks) is the treatment of choice. These veins are removed through two millimeter and three millimeter incisions under local anesthesia. Injection sclerotherapy is recommended for all smaller reticular veins and spider veins. Sclerotherapy solutions are safe, FDA approved and include glycerin, hypertonic saline, and the most widely and effective detergent solution, sodium tetradecyl. Sclerotherapy sessions are frequently followed by short periods of compression treatment with fitted support hose. The support hose improves long-term results. All of these procedures, which can be performed in a physician's office, provide the patient with little discomfort, minimal recovery time, affordable cost, low re-occurrence rates and an improved cosmetic appearance. The diagnosis and treatment of lower extremity venous disorders including varicose veins and spider veins is advancing each year and has changed drastically over the past five years. Duplex-ultrasound imaging of a larger venous problem has dramatically improved treatment plans (treatment plans may require one or a combination of any of the above procedures). The American College of Phlebology, a designated subspecialty in medicine, is promoting and educating physicians as to the most cost effective and efficient way to treat patients with venous disease, venous disorders, and chronic venous insufficiencies with the optimal results.

Dr. Ed Lee is board certified in phlebology by the American College of Phlebology. He is also board certified in general surgery, and he has performed more than 300 various vein procedures since 2005. Dr. Lee and his wife, Toni, who is an RN actively involved in vein care at Pee See Surgical Group, live in Florence. They have three children, two sons and one daughter. Dr. Lee treats patients at Pee Dee Surgical Group of McLeod Physician Associates. For more information, call Pee Dee Surgical Group at 843-665-7941 or visit www.PeeDeeSurgical.com.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 69

D r. J o n K . B e r g r i n , D C , C C N

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adjustments ? Give us a call today to learn more!

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2/23/09

4:56 PM

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She

C o m i n g i n M ay 2 0 0 9

in

Be

70

Shewants to know how you really feel about motherhood the diapers, the sleepless nights, the battle scars (a.k.a. stretchmarks) and the countless worries that sometimes only a mother can relate to.

If you would like to share your TRUTH ABOUT MOTHERHOOD and be considered for the May issue, send a detailed email to [email protected]. Include a day and evening phone number and “MOTHERHOOD” as the subject. Deadline for consideration is March 31st.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 71

Baby Nurse Inc. We R.N. the business to educate, assist, & reassure when caring for your newborn in your home.

•Are you a mom adding to her brood? •Are you a new mom needing to get out of the house without the baby? •Want to learn basic infant care?

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Jennifer Schaefer BSN. RN 843.245.0160 Great baby shower gift for the mom to be!

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Elmcroft of Florence Assisted Living & Memory Care 3006 Hoffmeyer Rd. • Florence 843-292-0012 • www.elmcroftal.com

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2/25/09

10:40 AM

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PURSE STRINGS:

Last-Minute

TaxTime

Advice

by Joe Page, CPA

“Knowing this doesn’t prevent some of us from procrastinating and sweating out the last few hours and standing in line at the post office to drop a return in the mail slot just before midnight on the 15th.”

By

now, everyone should have received all W-2s, 1099s and 1098s

charge interest and a penalty for late payment. When a taxpayer includes tax with the

needed to file their personal income tax returns. We all want this

extension request and it is less than sufficient to cover the liability, interest will be

to be over – and painless as possible. However, depending on your

charged on the overdue amount. No late-payment penalty will be imposed if the tax

tax situation, that may not be all the information needed for you to

paid through withholding, estimated tax payments or any payment accompanying Form

file an accurate return. If you have ownership in an S-Corporation,

4868 is at least 90% of the total tax due on Form 1040 and the remaining unpaid bal-

you will need to wait until an 1120S is completed for that corpora-

ance is paid with the return within the extension period. There are different rules that

tion and a form K-1 is produced for each person with an owner-

apply if your adjusted gross income (AGI) is over $150,000.

ship interest. This applies also to a partner in a partnership as a K-1 is produced for

There is one other note about penalties and interest. The IRS will impose

the partner’s interest when the Form 1065 is generated. The deadline for the 1120S

two types of penalties, along with the calculated interest – Failure to file and Failure

and 1120 (C-Corp) is March 16th this year. The deadline for Partnerships is the same

to Pay. Unless you pay enough taxes in by April 15th, there is not a lot that can be

as for individuals, April 15th.

done (unless your business is seasonal) on the Failure-to-Pay front. However, an

Everyone knows April 15th is the tax deadline, just like they know December

appropriately filed extension can alleviate failure-to-file penalties and interest as long

25th is Christmas Day. It falls on a Wednesday this year. Knowing this doesn’t pre-

as the difference in tax due, when eventually filed, and the extension amount is not a large

vent some of us from procrastinating and sweating out the last few hours and stand-

number.

ing in line at the post office to drop a return in the mail slot just before midnight on the 15th. For those people, we would suggest another option, especially if you are concerned you may not have all the information you need to complete your return; file an extension. An individual may obtain an automatic extension of six months for filing

We

strongly suggest that if you are unsure, losing sleep, just want it done right or just want someone to assist if you get a notice, then consider letting a Certified Public Accountant take the burden of timely filing from you. To accomplish this, it is key that you do not procrastinate get-

Forms 1040, 1040A or 1040EZ if the individual files on or before the due date of the

ting your information to them. They are set up with the equipment and knowledge to

return with a Form 4868 accompanied by a reasonable estimate of tax due for the

keep you in compliance with the IRS. They stay up-to-date with the news and laws

year. Form 4868 can be filed electronically or by mail.

through Continuing Professional Education, as well as industry notices and journals.

Extensions are a little easier for our armed forces personnel. An automatic two-

You have the peace of mind knowing your return is being filed securely by knowledge-

month extension is given to a U.S. citizen or resident who, on April 15, 2009, lives and

able professionals. Most are set up to file your tax return or extension electronical-

has a main place of business or post of duty outside the U.S. and Puerto Rico. An addi-

ly. This allows your refund, if you are due one, to get to you with less delay. Most

tional four months can be obtained by filing Form 4868 with the reasonable estimate

refunds can be direct-deposited into your checking account in two to three weeks.

of tax.

Should the IRS beckon you, you have someone to go to and who will stand with you. ºFiling extensions can be obtained without making tax payments so long as

As with everything these days, the answer to most tax questions is, “It

taxpayers properly estimate their tax liability. If the requesting taxpayers do not prop-

depends.” Maybe you need someone you can depend on. Only you can decide.

erly estimate their tax liability, the extension request could be denied and the IRS will

Income tax compliance – it’s definitely a She thing!

Joseph Oliver Page, CPA, lives in Marion. He is a partner with Charles Arden Gatchell, CPA, CVA, in the Accounting the firm, Gatchell & Page located in Florence.

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CELEBRATE

photo by Collin M. Smith

With this March issue,

Sheis seven years young!

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CELEBRATE

photo by Collin M. Smith

With this March issue,

Sheis seven years young!

2/25/09

9:09 AM

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your

AG E !

FEATURE STORIES BEGIN ON PAGE 76.

74-75

To Celebrate our birthday, we are celebrating yours.

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Celebrate your AGE!

Lindsay Martin King Age:

27

I will be twenty-seven on March 14 of this year.

My Work:

I’m a Retail Pharmacist with CVS.

My Hobbies:

In my spare time, I enjoy shopping, decorating, boating and

spending time with my family and friends.

My Thoughts About My Age: I think I’ve made wise choices in my life since I’ve always been very goal-oriented. I wouldn’t have done anything differently in my life because my choices made me who I am today – an intelligent and successful woman.

What I Have Come to Appreciate Most About Where I Am Now: I’m happily married and passionate about my new career. A Quality I Have Now That I Didn’t Have When I Was Younger: I’m definitely more sensitive now. Some days I wonder if this is a good or bad trait.

Dreams I Look Forward to Coming to Fruition: I look forward to starting a family and growing old with my husband.

What Keeps Me Young:

Being involved with family and friends keeps me

young. Remaining a life-long learner as a pharmacist will help me with that, too.

Downside to Getting Older:

Even though it’s a sign of wisdom, I’m just not

ready for the gray hair quite yet. I guess I’ll keep plucking them out.

Most Important Life Lessons So Far: I learned to forgive. I lost a friendship to a dear friend of mine in college due to childish reasons. I look back today and wish we had handled things a little differently when I was twenty-two-years old. Also, I put God first in everything I do. Without Him, nothing is possible. He has blessed my family and me.

Life Is Different Now Than When I Was Younger:

Now that

I’m independent and matured, I realize the value of love, friendship, family and responsibility to self and others.

What I Know Now That I Wish I Knew Then:

I wish that I always

knew to live every day to its fullest. We’re not promised tomorrow. I experienced this through my mother’s breast cancer journey. photos by Collin M. Smith

“

The more candles, the bigger the birthday cake, the more

dessert!

The Best Thing About Adding More Candles to My Birthday Cake: The more candles, the bigger the birthday cake, the more dessert! I’m a dessert girl first!

I’m a dessert girl first! Lindsay Martin King and her loving new husband, Gerald live in Florence with Kaizer, their three-and-a-half-pound Chihuahua.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 77

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Celebrate your AGE!

Dr. Age:

Anna Katherine

35

Gibson

35

My Work:

I am a General Surgeon with The Floyd Medical Group at Carolinas Hospital System. We do general surgery, vascular, laparoscopic, breast, endocrine and trauma surgery. I couldn’t ask for a more fulfilling job; I love going to work every day. It is an amazing privilege to be able to help people medically and surgically on a daily basis. I try to treat my patients like I would want my family treated, which I think tends to keep things in perspective.

My Hobbies:

Any free time that my husband and I have, we spend with our girls. We love to do basically anything that involves the outdoors, including camping, fishing, sailing and going to the beach. Who really needs hobbies when you have kids!

My Thoughts About My Age: be in my 20s again.

I actually love being 35! You couldn’t pay me to

What I Have Come to Appreciate Most About Where I Am Now:

I

appreciate my husband and my girls most of all. Without question, every day that they are safe and healthy is a great day for me.

A Quality I Have Now That I Didn’t Have When I Was Younger: I feel that I have certainly learned to prioritize with age and not focus so much on minor issues like I might have done when I was younger. Life is definitely a very precious entity. Things change in a moment and in sweating the small stuff, you may miss out on time that you can’t ever get back. Being in medicine has definitely reinforced this point to me.

Dreams I Look Forward to Coming to Fruition:

I just look forward to

watching my girls grow up and spending time with my husband. Where I am in life now with my husband and my girls has far surpassed any dreams I may have had.

What Keeps Me Young:

My daughters definitely keep me young. Having an 18-

month-old and a two-and-a-half-year-old is unprecedented. I can’t even imagine (or remember) life without my kids, nor would I ever want to. Having children is so much fun. It gives me free-range to act completely ridiculous and they seem to think it’s just great. Work keeps me focused and my girls keep me sane.

Downside to Getting Older:

I really don’t see any downside to getting older. I’ve

never had any issues with birthdays or aging. Every year older I get, the more I appreciate being here. I truly believe that age is a state of mind. When my girls and I get together with my mother, we are all on the same maturity level and we always have an outstanding time.

Most Important Life Lessons So Far:

I think you learn important lessons at

every stage of life. Now, I realize how lucky I am to be where I am in life with my family and work.

Life Is Different Now Than When I Was Younger:

Having my chil-

dren has most certainly given me a reason to excel in everything I do at work and at home. They just seem to make the little things in life so much more fun.

What I Know Now That I Wish I Knew Then:

Honestly, I don’t feel

like I would have wanted to know anything different when I was younger. I think the learning process through trial-and-error is all part of life and it seems that you tend to appreciate things a bit more when there has been a struggle involved. photo by Collin M. Smith

The Best Thing About Adding More Candles to My Birthday Cake:

I feel that I have certainly learned to prioritize with age . . . Life is definitely a entity. very

precious

I feel that every additional candle on my birthday cake is just another good reason to throw a party.

Dr. Anna Katherine Clark Gibson and her husband, Michael, live in Darlington. They have two daughters, Sophia (2) and Zoey (18-months), four dogs and a cat.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 81

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Celebrate your AGE!

Kim Puckett One of Those Ladies by Cookie Cawthon

There

There are those ladies who smile all the time, whistle while they work, laugh at what life has to offer, and roll with whatever comes their way. Time is her tool. Laughter is her medicine. A smile is a permanent accessory – she might be unrecognizable without one. She is light and fun – a hoot to hang with. Life is her playground. Chatter is her specialty and friends are her treasure – and she’s wealthy that way. Her energy confounds all who know her, and joy is her gift. Kim Puckett is one of those ladies. Chances are you already know Kim. She is such a large and pleasant presence that she isn’t soon forgotten wherever she goes – the grocery store, the pharmacy, church, work, and the tennis courts. So, when she and her husband,William, moved here seven years ago, she quickly made many new friends. Kim and William didn’t come to the Pee Dee under cheery conditions. William was unexpectedly laid off after the devastating events of September 11, 2001, and he searched for a job for six months. That season ended with William accepting a corporate position with A.O. Smith Water Products as a Commodity Manager – which brought the Puckett family to Florence from Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Kim, in her early thirties at the time of the move, stayed at home with their two young daughters, Amber and Abigail. After relocating 500 miles from her family, Kim wondered how she would meet new friends in this new place. Though it had been twenty years since

she had played tennis, Kim enrolled in tennis lessons with Richard Storr, Oakdale’s tennis coach. And what do you know…, after knocking the dust off her racket, she was quite good. She and her doubles partner – and very dear friend, Donna Howell – went unbeaten their first season. They took state and played sectionals that year and almost made nationals (missing by one set). She and Donna were ranked number one in the nation for 2.5 doubles under the United States Tennis Association (USTA). Tennis also proved to be quite the effective strategy for making friends. Kim has met and played with scores of neat ladies from the area and now serves as captain of nineteen women on the team “All Strung Out.” Though she had been active in tennis, she experienced a scare on the court one evening. She and Donna were playing, and Kim found herself unable to catch her breath. Her Mountain Dew habit (and her unhealthy eating choices) sent a powerful serve across her net that left her afraid for her health. Kim decided at that moment to lose the weight that was holding her back. She began Physician’s Plan and lost 42 pounds in three months. She has maintained her weight loss for more than a year by staying super active (playing tennis for hours in absolutely frigid temperatures) and remaining aware of reasonable food choices and portion sizes. So, Kim is a super happy lady even though circumstances led her to move far away from her family

and she has struggled with her weight. There’s more. During a one-year time frame – before moving to Florence – she had a miscarriage, became pregnant with Abigail, endured a two-week stay in the hospital, had emergency gall bladder surgery while nine weeks pregnant, and lost both grandmothers within two weeks of each other. Whew! She calls that a whirlwind of a year, but her smile persists. Kim is one of those ladies – even though adversity has called a time or two or three. Kim is the star of her own movie; she lives her life as though it is always being recorded – fully understanding that there is no rewind button. Though her fortieth birthday (which she quietly slipped into this past November) has been the most difficult to accept, she is still very happy to become one year older. At forty, she is stressing less and embracing the blessings of each new day: a fifteen-year marriage to her soul mate and two amazing daughters. Though she has been forced into the realization that she isn’t a kid anymore (having high school friends with children in college will do that to you), she welcomes the comfort and confidence that comes with this stage of life. Kim’s sixteenth birthday stands out as one of her best. She celebrated it in the hospital and was swarmed by visiting well-wishers. Her grandparents doled out sixteen $20 bills that they draped across her hospital bed as a birthday banner, AND her Candy Apple Red 280ZX with T-top was delivered. Um, yeah, okay…, turning forty can’t compare to that, but the blessings of this season can. Kim is forty, and she’s one of those ladies who lives gratitude and makes the absolute best of each day she’s given.

Cookie Cawthon is blessed to be wife to Chris, mother to Carson (6) and Campbell (3), Diet Pepsi addict, and crazy-excited greeter at NewSpring Church’s Florence campus.

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40 “

star

Kim is the of her own movie; she lives her life as though it is always being recorded – fully understanding that there is no rewind button.

” photo by Collin M. Smith

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Celebrate your AGE!

Mary

Hayes Bryant, Ed.D Age:

I will be 46-years-old in April.

My Work:

School Psychologist

My Hobbies:

Reading, walking

My Thoughts About My Age:

45

I definitely think it’s better than the alternative! If we look at the average-age expectancy to be around 80, I have lived over half my life and can start looking forward to winding down. I can also look forward to being the “wise old woman” providing the sage advice to the younger generations. I have seen so much life and have so much more to see. My eleven-year-old likes to tell me about my gray hair. As I tell him, each strand is a sign of wisdom I have gained over the years and I deserve every one of them. I have friends around my age who are ashamed of their ages and bemoan it. I’m so thankful for being allowed to live this long, to meet all the people I have met and to know that along the way, I’ve helped others. I know God still has big plans for me as I travel down His road.

What I Have Come to Appreciate Most About Where I Am Now:

I am

through with having children, with completing my education and with trying to discover who I am. I have gone through the hard part of life and now I can focus on all the things I want to do and see.

Most Important Life Lessons So Far:

At 37, I was preliminarily diagnosed with a fast-developing MS and was told I would be dead in two years. That made me realize none of us have the promise of tomorrow. We need to live today as though it may be our last day. We need to let the people we love know that we love them (even if we’re mad at them). We need to share God’s love with everyone and not judge others because we really don’t know what we would do if it was us in their situation.

A Quality I Have Now That I Didn’t Have When I Was Younger: I’m able to forgive myself for the mistakes I make as God has already forgiven me.

Life Is Different Now Than When I Was Younger:

I used to think that life was so serious and it was a catastrophe if I made a mistake. Life is meant for us to have fun and to realize one mistake is not going to destroy the whole world. I was a bit of a perfectionist.

photo by Collin M. Smith

“

Life is meant for us to have

Dreams I Look Forward to Coming to Fruition:

The dream that is all about me is to travel out of the country. My second dream involves others and it is that I look forward to seeing my children grow up, have families of their own, spoiling my grandchildren and giving them back to my sons when they start fussing – and also spoiling my daughters-in-law.

What Keeps Me Young:

fun and to realize one mistake

My faith in God and the sons He has given me keeps me young. (God was laughing when he gave me boys since I didn’t know much about boys coming from a family of four girls and one boy.)

is not going to destroy the whole world.

Downside to Getting Older:

”

Mary Hayes Bryant and her husband of twenty-three years, John, live in Florence. They have two sons, Matthew (17) and Paul (11).

The physical body doesn’t realize the spirit is still too young

for all its aches and pains.

What I Know Now That I Wish I Knew Then:

I can make a conscious deci-

sion as to how I see the world; the cup is half full, not half empty.

The Best Thing About Adding Candles to My Birthday Cake: means I’ve gained another year of wisdom and understanding of God’s will for my life.

That

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 83

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Celebrate your AGE!

Nancy Age:

52

52

Baxley Jordan

My Work:

Resource Teacher at Marion High School

My Hobbies:

Reading, riding with my husband on his Harley, exercising, crocheting (my newest hobby) and any activity involving my children and my new granddaughter

My Thoughts About My Age:

I love being the age I am! For me, so many positives have come with age. I have a better self-image and I’m so much more comfortable in my own skin than I’ve ever been. I have more confidence and I feel fulfilled and content with my life.

What I Have Come to Appreciate Most About Where I Am Now:

My journey thus far has often been filled with struggles, obstacles and sometimes profound pain and grief. To be where I am today with my faith intact and my heart filled with so much joy and love is certainly a lot to be grateful for!

A Quality I Have Now That I Didn’t Have When I Was Younger: Self-confidence

Dreams I Look Forward to Coming to Fruition: What Keeps Me Young:

Watching my grandchildren grow up photo by Collin M. Smith

My husband (a big kid at heart), my granddaughter and my students

keep me young.

Downside to Getting Older:

Going through the pain of losing the ones you love

Most Important Life Lessons So Far:

As we grow older, I think most of us find that we benefit more and more from what our parents taught us – either by example or lessons learned from them. My mama taught me many life-lessons. It was from her that I learned how to love unconditionally and how to forgive. My mama was the most forgiving person that I have ever known. My daddy taught me how to work hard and always do my best at whatever job I undertook. God taught me a life-lesson through my daddy – a lesson in perseverance. God taught me never to give up on someone you love. For thirty-plus years, I prayed for my daddy. God answered my prayer three weeks before he died. From my husband, I’ve learned the true meaning of love and loyalty. He has taught me so much about the importance of family and accepting people just the way they are. He has stood by me during the darkest days of my life. From my best friend, I have learned that sometimes family has nothing to do with blood. From my children, I’ve learned that the most important role I will ever have is mother. Another extremely important life-lesson I’ve learned is that it really is true that what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.

Life Is Different Now Than When I Was Younger:

When I was younger, I was more self-centered and selfish. Now, I realize that it’s not about me; it’s about my relationship with God, my family and helping others.

What I Know Now That I Wish I Knew Then:

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Let go

and let God – let God handle things instead of me trying to handle them by myself.

The Best Thing About Adding More Candles to My Birthday Cake:: There is a certain freedom that comes with age.

Nancy Baxley Jordan and her husband, Jimmy, live in Marion. They have a daughter and son-in-law, Rebecca (20) and Jason Davis; a son and daughter-in-law, Jamon (24) and Amber Jordan and a granddaughter, Bailey (10 months).

“

love

I being the age I am! For me, so many have come with age.

My Personal Journey:

positives

”

I always heard that God gives everyone a certain gift. I figured that He just forgot to give me mine. In 1992, my world fell apart; my life was forever changed. I wanted to run away and, in a sense, I did. I left the ladies’ clothing store (Nancy’s) that I loved so much and went back to a place that I never thought I’d return – teaching. Dillon II Superintendent, Ray Rogers, knew me and the situation that I faced. He gave me a chance and let me teach at Maple Junior High School. I will forever be grateful to Ray for what he did for me. I truly believe that God sent me to that small seventh-grade school to allow me to heal and help me find my way again. Along the way, I found my gift – working with preteens and teenagers. God gave me a heart for them. Going back to teaching literally saved my life and helped me find what God wanted me to do with the rest of my life. In October 2007, I began a journey to get healthy. I started exercising. For so many years, I struggled with my weight. Over the years, I spent the majority of my time taking care of other people and not taking care of myself. In September 2008, I decided to really get serious about losing weight. Since my journey began, I’ve lost 55 pounds. I haven’t felt this good since I was in my 20s.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 85

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Celebrate your AGE!

Martha Davis The

The revelation that my life was controlling me instead of the other way around happened one Sunday morning as I sat in my usual, fourth-row seat in the sanctuary of Marion Baptist Church. That particular Sunday, our pastor’s message came from the book of Luke: Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary; who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” Luke 10:38 -40 (NKJV) As the minister told the story of Martha and Mary preparing for Jesus’ visit, I found myself a little prideful that I shared the name of Martha. After all, she was the one doing all the work to make her home fit for a king. In my mind, I could just see her running around, reeling off the details in her head . . . I need to make sure I don’t forget to put the yams on the coals 30 minutes before the lamb is ready to come off the spit. Oh, and those flowers on the dining table look a little too wilted — I should switch those out.

I tried so many times to put my heartfelt commitment into practice--to just be in the moment instead of planning and coordinating it. But then a profitable opportunity would come along at work or a customer crisis demanded my attention, and I found myself doing the Martha thing again. Over and over I waffled in my decision to focus more on the life God wanted for me. I resisted making the Lord a priority—not intentionally, of course. But I would think:“I have a job that requires some extra responsibility and I need to do these things. I don’t want to let my boss down.” But in late 2005, the Lord started nudging and compelling me to live up to my commitment to be more of a Mary. I began to have problems sleeping and saw three sleep specialists, a neurologist, and even a psychologist—none of whom were able to resolve my insomnia.

“ ”

I’m sure Martha had a tidy house, adorned to perfection (what Martha wouldn’t?). And the meal would no doubt rival anything prepared by Martha Stewart (pun intended). But her visitor wasn’t just any guest! THIS was the KING, and everything must be perfect. While she was filled with anticipation to spend time with her Master, she let preparation take priority over participation. Looking back, I realize that I made a commitment to tone down my Type A personality long before now. But just as so many well-intentioned New Year’s resolutions rarely come to fruition, I allowed my commitment to take a back seat to all the busyness in my life. When opportunity knocked—or sometimes before he even hit the first porch step—I opened the door! I have had some great jobs, and regardless of the work,I usually find myself content in almost any situation.With age and experience came jobs with more responsibility, and I learned that high position and pay carry an equally high price. Maybe it was only my situation . . . it seemed as I climbed the corporate ladder I was expected to do more with less. As I exited certain positions, I found that two (or more) people were doing the same job that I had done alone. Makes me wonder . . . perhaps the problem is me and not the jobs.

... it was time for Him to have His say—and His way—and for me to !

listen

Remarkably, I didn’t feel sick, but I knew that eventually my body would start to suffer from my average regimen of about 24 hours sleep in a week! Despite my growing fatigue, I continued to work at least 60 hours a week. Mind you, this schedule was an improvement over my typical 80 hours or more! By late 2007, I was suffering from unrelenting fatigue. I could not drive more than 20 minutes without feeling as if I’d run a marathon. A trip from my den to the laundry room was excruciating. By the time the laundry was in the washing machine, I felt as if I’d done a few rounds in the ring with Ali! My conversations with my boss about a leave of absence always seemed inconclusive. I felt that I had to make an all-or-nothing decision—that I had to quit my job or go back to the 80-hour work week. In the end, the less frenetic pace was insufficient and I felt the pressure to resign.

Since mid 2008, I have been a stay-at-home wife and mother (even though my children are out of the nest). Not having a “job” is a huge deal for me! The resignation was a hard decision, but I knew that it was Godordained! The Lord allowed me to go through some struggles with my job and my health to help me see that our best life results when we honor our commitments and live our lives according to His word. Still, the consummate Martha, I spent my first few months of joblessness agonizing over finding another job.Though I was still having some health problems, I just knew once I got back into the game and found work that I loved, I would be fine. And then one night, I went to bed feeling defeated. The job market didn’t offer much for a 53-year-old, out-of-work senior manager. I was willing—and wanted—to work less demanding jobs, but I kept hearing that I was overqualified. As I said my prayers, I told the Lord I would do whatever He had in store for me if He would just send it my way. A few hours later, I bolted awake! It was clear that the Lord had awakened me—I know that feeling so well. You just know when the Lord is going to say something to you. And it was time for Him to have His say— and His way—and for me to listen! And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42 (NKJV) And there it was! His message took me full circle to that pew in Marion Baptist Church: there is only one thing that is needed of me. Jesus had nudged me again and again, reminding me of my resolution to be more like Mary. Yet I kept up my old behaviors, worrying about many things—things of little consequence. So, I am officially on sabbatical until Labor Day, 2008! I will not look for, think about, or talk about work. I am going to spend my time sitting at Jesus’ feet, basking in His Word! I am going to enjoy the blessings that God has given me—a devoted husband, children and grandchildren whom I adore and precious friends who “get” me. I am going to spend some time in quiet solitude, thinking on all these things. I have chosen the good part—the part that Jesus assures me cannot be taken away from me. Lord, I want to be like Mary!

Martha Davis is a freelance writer who lives in Timmonsville. She is a wife to Rusty; mother to Bo (29), Dustin (25), and Emily (22) and grandmother to Brennyn and Johnson. As a 53-year-old woman, she is turning her life around to find the Mary qualities that lie within her and telling her Martha side to quiet down a little!

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Martha Davis The

The revelation that my life was controlling me instead of the other way around happened one Sunday morning as I sat in my usual, fourth-row seat in the sanctuary of Marion Baptist Church. That particular Sunday, our pastor’s message came from the book of Luke: Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary; who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” Luke 10:38 -40 (NKJV) As the minister told the story of Martha and Mary preparing for Jesus’ visit, I found myself a little prideful that I shared the name of Martha. After all, she was the one doing all the work to make her home fit for a king. In my mind, I could just see her running around, reeling off the details in her head . . . I need to make sure I don’t forget to put the yams on the coals 30 minutes before the lamb is ready to come off the spit. Oh, and those flowers on the dining table look a little too wilted — I should switch those out.

I tried so many times to put my heartfelt commitment into practice--to just be in the moment instead of planning and coordinating it. But then a profitable opportunity would come along at work or a customer crisis demanded my attention, and I found myself doing the Martha thing again. Over and over I waffled in my decision to focus more on the life God wanted for me. I resisted making the Lord a priority—not intentionally, of course. But I would think:“I have a job that requires some extra responsibility and I need to do these things. I don’t want to let my boss down.” But in late 2005, the Lord started nudging and compelling me to live up to my commitment to be more of a Mary. I began to have problems sleeping and saw three sleep specialists, a neurologist, and even a psychologist—none of whom were able to resolve my insomnia.

“ ”

I’m sure Martha had a tidy house, adorned to perfection (what Martha wouldn’t?). And the meal would no doubt rival anything prepared by Martha Stewart (pun intended). But her visitor wasn’t just any guest! THIS was the KING, and everything must be perfect. While she was filled with anticipation to spend time with her Master, she let preparation take priority over participation. Looking back, I realize that I made a commitment to tone down my Type A personality long before now. But just as so many well-intentioned New Year’s resolutions rarely come to fruition, I allowed my commitment to take a back seat to all the busyness in my life. When opportunity knocked—or sometimes before he even hit the first porch step—I opened the door! I have had some great jobs, and regardless of the work,I usually find myself content in almost any situation.With age and experience came jobs with more responsibility, and I learned that high position and pay carry an equally high price. Maybe it was only my situation . . . it seemed as I climbed the corporate ladder I was expected to do more with less. As I exited certain positions, I found that two (or more) people were doing the same job that I had done alone. Makes me wonder . . . perhaps the problem is me and not the jobs.

... it was time for Him to have His say—and His way—and for me to !

listen

Remarkably, I didn’t feel sick, but I knew that eventually my body would start to suffer from my average regimen of about 24 hours sleep in a week! Despite my growing fatigue, I continued to work at least 60 hours a week. Mind you, this schedule was an improvement over my typical 80 hours or more! By late 2007, I was suffering from unrelenting fatigue. I could not drive more than 20 minutes without feeling as if I’d run a marathon. A trip from my den to the laundry room was excruciating. By the time the laundry was in the washing machine, I felt as if I’d done a few rounds in the ring with Ali! My conversations with my boss about a leave of absence always seemed inconclusive. I felt that I had to make an all-or-nothing decision—that I had to quit my job or go back to the 80-hour work week. In the end, the less frenetic pace was insufficient and I felt the pressure to resign.

Since mid 2008, I have been a stay-at-home wife and mother (even though my children are out of the nest). Not having a “job” is a huge deal for me! The resignation was a hard decision, but I knew that it was Godordained! The Lord allowed me to go through some struggles with my job and my health to help me see that our best life results when we honor our commitments and live our lives according to His word. Still, the consummate Martha, I spent my first few months of joblessness agonizing over finding another job.Though I was still having some health problems, I just knew once I got back into the game and found work that I loved, I would be fine. And then one night, I went to bed feeling defeated. The job market didn’t offer much for a 53-year-old, out-of-work senior manager. I was willing—and wanted—to work less demanding jobs, but I kept hearing that I was overqualified. As I said my prayers, I told the Lord I would do whatever He had in store for me if He would just send it my way. A few hours later, I bolted awake! It was clear that the Lord had awakened me—I know that feeling so well. You just know when the Lord is going to say something to you. And it was time for Him to have His say— and His way—and for me to listen! And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42 (NKJV) And there it was! His message took me full circle to that pew in Marion Baptist Church: there is only one thing that is needed of me. Jesus had nudged me again and again, reminding me of my resolution to be more like Mary. Yet I kept up my old behaviors, worrying about many things—things of little consequence. So, I am officially on sabbatical until Labor Day, 2008! I will not look for, think about, or talk about work. I am going to spend my time sitting at Jesus’ feet, basking in His Word! I am going to enjoy the blessings that God has given me—a devoted husband, children and grandchildren whom I adore and precious friends who “get” me. I am going to spend some time in quiet solitude, thinking on all these things. I have chosen the good part—the part that Jesus assures me cannot be taken away from me. Lord, I want to be like Mary!

Martha Davis is a freelance writer who lives in Timmonsville. She is a wife to Rusty; mother to Bo (29), Dustin (25), and Emily (22) and grandmother to Brennyn and Johnson. As a 53-year-old woman, she is turning her life around to find the Mary qualities that lie within her and telling her Martha side to quiet down a little!

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photo by Collin M. Smith

We accept name brand, upscale children’s clothing, equipment & more!

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Celebrate your AGE!

Anne Age:

Poston McNair

67 – Born on November 27th, 1941, on Thanksgiving Day

67

My Work: I’m in my third year of retirement from Florence School District #1. My Hobbies:

Redoing my house has been an ongoing project since I retired. I love working in the yard when the weather is warm enough (I don’t like cold weather), reading and – best of all – babysitting my grandchildren whenever I’m needed. All three live in Columbia, so it doesn’t take long to get to them.

My Thoughts About My Age:

I can’t believe that I’m this age. I don’t feel old. But, my children are getting older each year, so I have to be, also. I just refuse to act or look any older than I have to.

What I Have Come to Appreciate Most About Where I Am Now: Every part of my life has been made up of wonderful experiences, but I do not desire to relive any part of it. I love the part that I’m now in. I love not getting up when it’s still dark to get ready for work. Howard and I can sit at the breakfast table and watch the sun become bright and see the birds gather at their feeding stations. I’m not on a schedule except for appointments that I have to attend. I do pretty much what I want to do. I try to be available if my children need me. That is one of the benefits of not working.

A Quality I Have Now That I Didn’t Have When I Was Younger: I think that maybe I have become a little more patient with age. I try not to rush things because I have always wanted things to happen or be done right away.

Dreams I Look Forward to Coming to Fruition: I hope that I will live to see my grandchildren grow into young adults. I want to be a part of their lives for a long, long time. Also, I want my husband and me to have many more years together. We have been married 42 years.

What Keeps Me Young:

When I remember my parents, they continued to act young and look young until they became very sick and died. They had a very strong influence on my sister, Carole’s, and my life. I often say that I need Mother here to tell me to hold up my shoulders or ask me what happened to my hair when it didn’t look as she thought it should. I have an awesome hairstylist who really understands my hair and I try to get the right creams and makeup for my face. If I don’t look presentable, I don’t want to be seen. I try to stay active. I love redoing my house and just can’t stay inside when the weather is beautiful.

photo by Collin M. Smith

“

Every part of my life has been made up of experiences, but I do not desire to relive any part of it. I the part that I’m now in.

wonderful

love

Downside to Getting Older:

”

Let’s just say that there shouldn’t be one. I’m just glad that I’ve made it another year and, hopefully, that I’ll stay as healthy as I can.

Anne Poston McNair and her husband, Howard, live in Florence. Their children are Pierce, his wife, Laura and their children, Mary Catherine and Evans; Will and his wife, Bea Jay; and Dan, his wife, Jennifer, and their child, Christopher.

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Spring

Auction

Friday, April 3, 2009 Dinner 5:30 to 7:00 Silent Auction 6:00 to 7:45 Live Auction 8:00 until

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Celebrate your AGE!

Suzanne “Suzi” Jones Age:

70

My Work:

70

I am Vice-President, Secretary,Treasurer and the Parts

Department Saleswoman for Tractor Traders, Inc. I sell heavy equipment parts, components and attachments for construction equipment.

My Hobbies:

Reading, working out, gardening, cooking, entertaining and sports

(Clemson football, basketball and baseball)

My Thoughts About My Age:

Anybody that enjoys life, enjoys the age they

are and looks forward to more. I’ve become well-adjusted with age and I’ve learned what’s important and what’s not. The love of God, family and friends, being loved and giving love is the oil that greases the wheels of a wonderful life.

What I Have Come to Appreciate Most About Where I Am Now: I realize that I’m capable of doing so many things and I’m not afraid to try new things.

Most Important Life Lessons So Far:

I’ve learned a lot about love and the

willingness to love with age. I’m not scared to love people and I know that I can love them just because I want to. I don’t have grudges or take offense. I’m well-adjusted and I know when others are needy.

A Quality I Have Now That I Didn’t Have When I Was Younger: I have a tiny bit more patience - thanks to a lifetime of prayer. I have a lot more love to give and I have more stamina. I’ve had so many wonderful life experiences – having my children, surviving my children’s adolescence, surviving myself during my children’s adolescence, marrying Chappell and traveling everywhere with him.

“

enjoys

Anybody that life, enjoys the they are and looks forward to more.

age

”

What I Know Now That I Wish I Knew Then:

Life Is Different Now Than When I Was Younger:

I’m more

relaxed about life and I have lived through enough recessions and traumatic events to know that this, too, shall pass. Living a long time is good because you have the time to realize what’s important and you can build back what is broken. Negativity will get you nowhere. I am a fan of Dale Carnegie who often uses the phrase, “Stop worrying and start living.”

Dreams I Look Forward to Coming to Fruition:

photo by Collin M. Smith

Just about

everything! I wish I knew then not to sweat the small stuff. I wish I knew then that worrying yourself to death won’t change a thing. I wish I knew then to always keep putting one foot in front of the other and I’ll get there.

The Best Thing About Adding More Candles to My Birthday Cake: I’ll need a bigger cake!

My dreams and prayers

are for Chappell and I to stay healthy and enjoy life the way we are and to see all our children and grandchildren have healthy lives. For the most part, all my dreams have come true. I have wonderful children and a husband whom I adore. I have so much fun in life and I’m comfortable in everything I do.

What Keeps Me Young:

My sense of humor, exercise, lots of fun things to do,

cooking healthy meals, reading enriching materials and being positive and optimistic all keep me young.

Downside to Getting Older: it to. Plus, I don’t want wrinkles!

My body just does not always cooperate like I want

Personal Note from Suzi’s interviewer, Dana Carraway:: “I will always remember the first time I met Suzi Jones in 1995 in the Francis Marion dorm rooms where her daughter and I had just become suitemates. She is just as energetic and vivacious and full of life today as she was then. Her bubbly personality and overflow of love for her family and fellow man is contagious and most definitely admirable. She has an uncommon zest for life and it is apparent any time you’re in her presence. She’s never met a stranger and has set an extraordinary example of loving others with that agape-type love. She has been a source of joy and laughter in my life from the moment I met her. Suzi could truly say with no guilt or boasting,‘I am woman! Hear me roar!’ God broke the mold when he made Suzi Jones.”

Suzanne “Suzi” M. Jones and her husband, Chappell, live in Florence. They have two daughters (“Bebe” and Charlotte), one son (Chap, Jr.), two sons-in-law, (Chip and Clay) and five grandchildren ranging in ages from one- to twenty-two-years-old.

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Celebrate your AGE!

Frances B. Drew Age:

75

My Work: My Hobbies:

Owner, Drew Tax Office in Mullins Telling others what Jesus has done for me, helping others,

working with taxes and spending time with my grandchildren

My Thoughts About My Age:

I really don’t think much about my

age. My age is only a number. When I arise in the morning, I say, “Thank you, Lord! It’s morning!” instead of,“Oh, Lord, it’s morning.” I happily thank Him for another day.

75

What I Have Come to Appreciate Most About Where I Am Now: At this time in my life, I have come to appreciate my family, my friends, my church. I appreciate the very simple things in life – even the air I breathe.

A Quality I Have Now That I Didn’t Have When I Was Younger: The one quality that I didn’t have when I was younger and that I still don’t have (even after seventy-five years of experiencing so much of what life has to offer) is patience. I wish I had been patient then and I wish I were more patient now.

Dreams I Look Forward to Coming to Fruition:

I often dream of and imagine myself building a health facility – and I fully intend to do so. It will be a combination Independent Care, Assisted Living Care, Nursing Home, Hospice, Alzheimer’s Acute Care and Rehabilitation Center. It will be located in Marion County, serving our people to the fullest.

What Keeps Me Young:

I began working taxes in the early 1960s. A very challenging career at times, I enjoy it very much. For me, it’s not just a job; it’s a service to people. That and my ambitious thoughts keep me going day after day. I always have to be doing something.

Downside to Getting Older:

I don’t think there is a downside to getting older. Each day is a gift from God and I thank Him every day for every day. As I look back, so many lives are taken before reaching my age.

Most Important Life Lessons So Far:

I graduated from high school in 1952. Being child number seven out of ten, I didn’t immediately go to college due to lack of funds. My mother wanted so much for all of us to go to college; but, at the time, it just wasn’t possible. Thank goodness, she did live so see me graduate. After rearing my own family, I decided I wanted to go back to school and get a college degree. With encouragement and support from my husband and family, I did just that. I even took some college credits with my children. Although I was reluctant at first, I really thought I could do it and I wanted it very badly. My college career began at age 51 and it took me six years to get my degree. (Because of my tax business, I couldn’t attend the spring semesters.) On December 15, 1987 – at the age of 57 – I received a Degree in General Studies. No matter what your age, you can’t – and shouldn’t – dismiss new opportunities. Getting my degree has given me a sense of security and confidence in myself. When I say I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me, I really mean it. Anything can be accomplished if the desire is there.

What I Know Now That I Wish I Knew Then:

When I was young, my father was killed in an auto-train accident in April 1939, leaving my mother to serve as mom and dad. She was always reminding us to do our best, be honest, let our word be our bond and, last, but not least, let Jesus come first in our lives. As I grew older, I began to see exactly what she meant. If I had known then what I know today, I would have understood her way of thinking and why she stressed certain things to us.

“

photos by Collin M. Smith

The Best Thing About Adding More Candles to My Birthday Cake: I love having birthdays! As the candle-count grows, so does my wisdom and love for God, my family and my fellow man.

When I arise in the morning, I say, “Thank

you, Lord!

It’s morning!”...

Frances B. Drew and her husband, Frank, live in Rains, SC. They have five children (Demaris,Weston, Dixie, Dawn and Tommy) and eleven grandchildren.

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Hop on Over for a Picture-Perfect Easter! Easter Bunny Arrival March 28th

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Experience a fun-filled Magic Show at 11am in the Easter Bunny’s new Garden, located in front of Best Buy. After the show enjoy free balloon animals from 11:30am–1:30pm. Each child that attends will receive a special surprise too!

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March 28th through April 11th Enjoy keepsake digital photos with the Easter Bunny in his new Garden located in front of Best Buy. Choose from a variety of photo packages starting at just $8.99 and ready in minutes. Each child that visits will receive a free gift!

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For all your doctor has done, isn’t it worth a quick “click” of thanks? Join McLeod in honoring our many exceptional physicians. More than 350 physicians at McLeod Health have dedicated their lives to providing exceptional medical care for patients throughout our community. Doctors’ Day is one day of the year set aside to celebrate and acknowledge the vital role they play every day to protect our health and well-being. Please join us in honoring your favorite physician or physicians by sharing your personal thoughts and expressions of gratitude. It’s easy to do – you simply visit www.McLeodHealth.org., click on the Doctors’ Day icon, and insert your comments. For all the moments they’ve spent helping you, take one to let them know just how much you appreciate what they do. If you prefer to send a handwritten thank-you, please mail to Doctors’ Day Tribute, McLeod Health Marketing, PO Box 100551, Florence, SC 29502.

McLeod Health www.McLeodDocDay.org D O C T O R S ’

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Celebrate your AGE!

Mary Long

89

Streett Age:

I’m 89; I’ll be 90 in September.

My Work:

I volunteer one day a week at McLeod Health Foundation and I play with

the Calvary Baptist Church Handbell Choir. There is no “work” anymore.

My Hobbies:

I enjoy music (especially classical), needlework, puzzles and word games.

My Thoughts About My Age:

I’m very grateful that the Lord has given me

these extra years and the good health to enjoy them.

What I Have Come to Appreciate Most About Where I Am Now: It’s nice not to have all the pressures we are under when we are younger, having a family and getting established. (Although, that was fun, too!)

Most Important Life Lessons So Far:

I’m still working on it, but I now real-

ize that worrying about things does not change anything. Be concerned, but don’t worry.

A Quality I Have Now That I Didn’t Have When I Was Younger: Hopefully, I’ve learned to be more patient and understanding. Dreams I Look Forward to Coming to Fruition:

All my dreams now are

for my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I would like to see all of them living close to the Lord and having happy, productive lives.

What Keeps Me Young:

I try to stay active. If I ever stop, I may not start again!

photo by Collin M. Smith

“

Every year brings new, unexpected blessings.

“

What I Know Now That I Wish I Knew Then:

I’m not so

sure I know it now, but I wish I had been more knowledgeable about the correct things to do while raising my children.

I enjoy being around young people and that really helps.

I See Things Differently Now:

Downside to Getting Older: Aching joints and doing

setback – is not a matter of life or death. I try to live by the prayer of St. Francis

everything so much slower!

The Best Thing About Adding More Candles to My Birthday Cake: There is such joy in every new day. There is always some-

of Assisi.

Everything that happens – even a

thing new to see and learn. There are always new friends to meet and every day with old friends is special. Every year brings new, unexpected blessings.

Mary Long Streett lives in Florence. She and her late husband, Ernest, have five children, Mary, Beth, Donald, Kaye, Bobby and Tommy, eleven grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren.

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Sarah Layton Sarah

Sarah Layton has led a full and exciting life. At the age of 91, she’s still going strong. Sarah Smith and her family lived two miles outside of the town of McCormick in her growing up years. Since her mother helped out with the family business in town and Sarah was the eldest of three children, she learned responsibility early as she helped take care of her younger siblings. Though times were hard, celebrating was also a part of life. Sarah remembers riding to school in a surrey (as in “with a fringe on top” from Oklahoma). After high school, young Sarah was determined to continue her education. She went to nearby Lander College for one year. A lack of funding curtailed her vision of getting a college degree; so Sarah went to business school in Greenwood instead. In 1939, the family moved to Bamberg and she immediately put her business training to work. She had various jobs – usually more than one at a time. Initially, she worked for $12 a month for the NYA (National Youth Association). After about a year, Sarah was offered a job at the J.W. Hand Electric Store and Theater. In the mornings, she kept books and ordered supplies. In the afternoons, she sold tickets and popcorn for the theater, across the street from Cooner Hardware. Mr. Cooner also owned the local Funeral Home. Soon, a young embalmer moved into town to work at the Funeral Home. His name was Floyd Layton, but everyone called him “Tubby.” Shortly thereafter, Sarah and a friend heard about Civil Service jobs to aid in the war effort. They went to Washington on the “Silver Meteor” train, not knowing where they would stay. Mrs. Layton says that she supposes she got her spunk from her mother, who was a “women’s lib” proponent before her time. Sarah remembers blackouts when the only light visible in the city was the light on top of the Washington Monument. Those blackouts were periodically held in preparation for potential attacks during the war. She and her friend initially found a place to stay with a family in Washington who had a fold-out couch. After two weeks, they found an attic apartment sixteen blocks from the Munitions Building with the Signal Corps where they worked. Eventually, Sarah and five of her friends rented a house closer to the new site of the agency. When the building was completed, the girls were

by Ferebe Gasque among the first to work at the new building – The Pentagon. In the meantime, Tubby Layton had been on active duty in the South Pacific and had been staying in touch through letters. In 1943, Sarah’s father became ill with cancer. After a visit home, she returned to Washington, where she wanted to join the Cadet Nurse Corps. Sarah went into training at age twenty-six. Feeling that she needed to be closer to home to support her mother, Sarah returned to South Carolina and continued her medical training at the Medical University of South Carolina at the old Roper Hospital in Charleston. One night while she was at work, Sarah received a telephone call. Tubby was calling from the West Coast. He had contracted malaria and was being sent to a hospital in Alabama. Not too long after that surprise telephone call, Tubby was transferred to Durham, North Carolina. Romance blossomed and Sarah Smith became Sarah Layton on a three-day pass Tubby had managed to acquire. The blushing bride was now twenty-eight years of age. The handsome groom was a mature thirty-one. Tubby found Sarah a room at a boarding home in nearby Oxford, North Carolina, so they could be together. Soon after their marriage, Mr. Layton was honorably discharged from the military. Mr. Cooner (of Hardware and Funeral fame in Bamberg), like many grateful citizens, had held Tubby’s job for him while he was fighting for our freedom. After about six months happily settled in Bamberg, Mr. Ham (of Ham and Perry Funeral Home in Timmonsville) contacted the Laytons. They were hesitant to go, since Mr. Cooner had been so good to hold the position. However, after they discussed the matter with him, Mr. Cooner sent the Laytons on to their new home. First, however, he graciously gave them the use of his lake cottage for a belated honeymoon. In Timmonsville, Tubby became the embalmer and Sarah the bookkeeper. When Mr. Ham retired, Mr. Perry asked Tubby to join him and the business became Layton-Perry Funeral Home in 1958. Tubby died suddenly of a cerebral hemorrhage in 1965. Mr. Perry later retired, as well, and Mrs. Layton asked Howell Anderson and his wife, Sue, to join her at the Funeral Home. Howell became a licensed Funeral Director as did Sarah Layton. Layton-Anderson Funeral Home now occupies a lovely building on Highway 76 between Florence and

Ferebe Gasque is the Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, a Service Coordinator with Florence County DSN Board and an Independent Consultant with the Pampered Chef ®. In her spare time, she follows orders from her feline children with whom she lives in Florence.

Timmonsville and serves both communities with grace and compassion. Though she no longer drives, due to vision problems, Sarah Layton goes to work every day with the able assistance of her chauffeur and partner, Howell Anderson. In addition to working, however, she is secretary of the American Legion Auxiliary, a member of the Palmetto Hearts Chapter of the Red Hat Society and the Order of the Eastern Star, and attends the Seniors Luncheon at Timmonsville United Methodist Church, where she is an active member. Sarah has a wonderful family to whom she is deeply devoted. Her son, a graduate of Clemson University in Chemistry, worked for SLED for many years and her daughter is a nurse. She has six grandchildren and four great-grands. She attributes the positive qualities in her life to trusting in the Lord to make all of her decisions. She loves people and counts her blessings every day and every night. When asked about how life has changed for her through the years, Mrs. Layton says that the Great Depression taught a lot that young folks today have never experienced. She has learned that things are only things. She is trying to be more discreet these days in sharing her physical maladies, as well. Sarah Layton’s dreams for the future are not for herself but for our country. She would like to see more respect for human life and more people leaning on the Lord before making decisions. Yes, Sarah Smith Layton celebrates her age. More than that, however, she continues to celebrate the phenomenal life she has been blessed to have for almost ninety-two years. She’s looking forward to celebrating for a long time to come, too!

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Celebrate your AGE!

Jimmie Rogers Age:

On April 15, I will be ninety-six.

My Work:

I’m a retired elementary school teacher. In addition, I taught Sunday

school classes at First Baptist for seventy years. Although I did not accept a class for 2008-2009, I have agreed to substitute.

My Hobbies:

My favorite hobbies are reading, flower gardening and my church

Life Is Different Now Than When I Was Younger: I have seen

and club activities. I’ve also enjoyed traveling with friends and with my daughter. I have

many changes during my lifetime. I graduated from Lake View High School in 1931 and

so many memories of fascinating places in Europe, the Orient and many island cruises. My last trip and probably my “Swan Song” was Edinburgh, Scotland to attend my granddaughter, Cecily’s wedding at Dalhousie Castle. My daughter, Kay, her husband, Johnnie, and I spent a week touring the Highlands of Scotland and another week in London and Paris. While in Paris, we saw a musical at the theater and had dinner at La Tour D’Argent on Mother’s Day. (La Tour D’Argent is rated as one of the top-ten restaurants internationally.) In 2006, Kay and I flew to Cincinnati and boarded the steamboat,

attended Winthrop for two years after which the banks began to go bankrupt and businesses failed all over America. I returned home, as so many young people did, and lived with my grandfather and a favorite aunt in Dillon. My grandfather, B. Frank Edwards, was like a father to me, having lost my own father when I was eleven. Dillon had two large cotton mills that closed, as well as so many other businesses. I worked as an assistant social worker and encountered so many sad situations. A full-blown depression

“The Delta Queen,” for a trip down the Ohio River. The highlight of this event was a

changed the lives of so many people. Strange as it may seem, however, those were some

stop over in Louisville for the Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs. For no particular

of the happiest years of my life as a young person. Franklin Roosevelt was President

reason at the time, my bet was on Barbaro. You can’t imagine my excitement at choos-

and put so many people – old and young – to work in his New Deal Programs and

ing the winner and collecting a few hundred dollars. After returning home, I had a lit-

Works Progress Administration. Also, in speaking of the good times, a dance organiza-

tle talk with my pastor, Lyn Anderson, about gambling and sipping Mint Juleps. (Raising

tion was formed. Dillon became known as the little dance town of the south. This was

horses and attending horse shows are among his hobbies, so I think I received absolu-

during the time of the Big Band Era. Highway 301 was the only major highway on the

tion.)

east coast and every band traveling from New York City to Miami played in Dillon. To name a few would include Guy Lombardo, Jan Garber, Glen Miller, Benny Goodman,

My Thoughts About My Age:

At ninety-six, I have so many wonderful

memories. God has been good – an ever present help during the sad times, as well as

Tommy Dorsey and Cab Callaway. These were the greatest of bands who entertained our troops overseas in WWII.

the happy times. He’s the first One I talk to when I wake and the last One I talk to before I go to bed.

Dreams I Look Forward to Coming to Fruition:

Most Important Life-Lessons So Far: As one matures, many changes

to this new administration and pray that people all over America can rebuild their

take place. You can’t believe you were young, selfish and carefree for so many years. You really learn to love one another as God has commanded.

I’m looking forward

homes and find jobs that will give them peace of mind and security. Most of all, I pray for our troops overseas and their families and that, in someway soon, this war can end. I’m also looking forward to celebrating the centennial of First Baptist. I’m on the com-

A Quality I Have Now That I Didn’t Have When I Was Younger: I always pray that God will lay someone on my heart that I can lift up that day. There are people who need a call, a visit, a sandwich or a bowl of soup – people who are alone. I think God has kept me active enough to fulfill a few of those needs. It makes me feel useful and keeps me out of the rocking chair; I’m not ready for that yet.

mittee to make sure this takes place in a big way in 2010. Furthermore, I’m serving on our pastor search committee as our church is without a pastor at the present time. I look forward to all this coming to fruition.

What Keeps Me Young:

My association with young people keeps me young.

(I have to admit that everyone I know is younger than I am.)

Downside to Getting Older: The downside to getting older means you outlive your family and friends with whom you’ve been so close and had so much in common. We have to realize that death is part of life and we have to move on. Dwelling on our grief doesn’t help anyone. Our Lord admonishes us to take our burdens to Him and leave them there.

Jimmie Rogers Rogers lives in Lake View, SC. She and her late husband,Trayce, have three children – Kay, James F. (Tip) and Ferrell (deceased). She enjoys her three grandsons, two granddaughters, two granddogs and six great-grandchildren.

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96 “

As one matures, many changes take place. You can’t believe you were young, selfish and carefree for so many years. You really learn to one another as God has commanded.

love

”

photo by Collin M. Smith

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96 “

As one matures, many changes take place. You can’t believe you were young, selfish and carefree for so many years. You really learn to one another as God has commanded.

love

”

photo by Collin M. Smith

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Art& Soul

turns 50!

All Doll’D Up And Plenty of Places To Go by Sharman Poplava

F

Friends, here’s a news alert in the “tell me it’s not true”

really came out and said it, but I think Ken’s bald spot in his fuzzy blonde hair was a

department. It’s Barbie’s big 5-0 this year. Yep. She and

real turn-off.)

Ken were spotted in the famous pink Corvette convert-

And the girl could wear anything. Even scraps of cloth from my mama’s sewing

ible, top down (the car, not sister Barbie,) and ponytail of

basket. It’s no wonder she was so successful as an ambassador for world peace.All she

blonde hair waving in the wind.The convertible was fly-

had to do was wrap a piece of yellow polyester around herself and the world was at

ing too. But that’s OK, because as we all know, Barbie has

her feet.

her pilot’s license. Not to mention her short stint as a stewardess before she got all liberated. Barbie and I had some good times together. I used to stop by her dream house all the time.We’d sit around

Personally, I believe it was the swimsuit that cinched her U.S. presidential election. She’s taken a lot of flak over the years for her 36-18-33 all male fantasy shape. But the ever-cheerful Barbie has taken it in stride.What does she have to worry about? She had her top shelf before silicone was even invented.

chatting girl talk and trying out new makeup. I never could use that fire engine red lip-

Yes, we were close friends for many years. Until Midge and Skipper came

stick she used, though. It looked so grown up and put together on her, but I just looked

along. Midge was a little snitty and I could tell she was jealous of our friendship and

like a child playing in her mother’s makeup.

Skipper was just too silly to be around. Besides, Skipper had flat feet, flat long hair and

She’s the one who encouraged me to start my shoe collection. She used to

flat everything else. Kept reminding me of someone.

wear those cute, flippy mules in every color of the rainbow. She had such style stand-

Midge and Skipper weren’t as fun as my friend, Barbie. It was always a good

ing on her little, tippy toes with those incredibly high arches. That girl’s feet were just

time when Barbie was around.When things would get boring, I remember Barbie was

made for high heels. To this day, I can’t pass up a good pair of mules without thinking

always quick to say, “Wanna have a pizza party?” or “Math is hard.”

of Barbie. I wonder if ‘ole Barbie is wearing cushy flats now because her arches have

So my old friend is 50. That makes me, ummm, an old friend. From the news reports I hear that she hasn’t slowed down. I’m not surprised. She always knew how to

fallen flat as a pancake like mine. Boy, that girl sure could shop. I remember her saying over and over again, “I love shopping!” And she did. Her wardrobe was breathtaking. My favorite was the wed-

enjoy life. What a doll!

ding dress, although she and Ken practiced a lot, they never tied the knot. (Barbie never

Sharman Poplava is president of the Greater Hartsville Chamber of Commerce. Her e-mail is [email protected]. I suggest “Forever Barbie:The Unauthorized Biography of a Real Doll,” by M. G. Lord for this month’s recommended read.

MARCH CALENDAR OF EVENTS THIS MONTH’S CAN’T MISS BIG TICKET... If you’re a 60’s / 70’s flower child or a wanna-be retro, then you’ve got to “book it” to Charlotte this month.They’ve got a couple of “outta sight” shows. Joan Baez is coming on Mon., Mar. 2 and there will be “A Tribute to the Rolling Stones” on Sat., Mar. 14 at the Blumenthal Performing Arts Center. Evidently Mick won’t be in attendance, but his music will be. Sounds like “a blast.”

MUSIC Jimmy Dorsey Orchestra- presented by the Hartsville-Coker Concert Association at the Center Theatre, Hartsville on Thurs., Mar. 5 at 7:30pm.

DANCE “Wizard of Oz” – presented by the Columbia Classical Ballet on Fri., Mar. 6 at 7:30pm (outreach 9:30am) at the Koger Center. Todd Rosenlieb Dance – at the Watson Theatre, Coker College on Mar 7 at 8pm. “Sleeping Beauty” – presented by the South Carolina Dance Theatre at the Florence Little Theatre on Mar. 13, 14 & 15.

THEATRE Lesa Hudson-in concert at the Center Theatre, Hartsville on Mar 7 at 7:30pm. “Brahams, A German Requiem”- presented by the Masterworks Choir at Central United Methodist Church on Mar. 22 at 5pm.

“The Music Man”- presented by the Lake City Community Theatre at the Blanding Auditorium on Mar. 19-21 at 8pm and Mr. 22 at 3pm.

CHILDREN Disney Playhouse LIVE!- at the Florence Civic Center on Fri., Mar 6 at 6:30pm.

Georgia Guitar Quartet- at the Kassab Recital Hall, Francis Marion University- Mar. 26 at 8pm.

EXHIBITS FESTIVALS Renofest Bluegrass Festival- in various locations in Hartsville on Fri., Mar. 27 – Sun., Mar 29.

Florence Museum –“In Times of War” through Mar. 22. Hours:Tues. –Sat. 10am-5pm and Sun. 2pm-5pm. 558 Spruce St., Florence.

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the

Generation

[G A P] What’s New for Generation Y by Lea Pritchard-Boone, PhD

it

It never ceases to amaze parents as they hear the words exiting their own lips, “When I was your age, we never . . .,” followed by the startling realization that life has come full circle. YOU HAVE BECOME YOUR PARENTS! I can still remember the day I realized the inevitable and phoned my mom to apologize for not realizing how right she had always been. I guess that’s the only consolation you have, knowing that one day you’ll get that phone call, too. Your adolescent desire for freedom, adventure and passion has been replaced by parental fear, worry and insecurity when faced with your own children. I’ve always thought it was funny that the smartest most of us ever feel is during adolescence. At least then, we thought we had it all figured out and had no idea of how much we really didn’t know. After the birth of my son, the sudden and pervasive awareness of my knowledge deficits became painfully evident. Parenting school is never completed or graduated from; it twists and turns through child development – changing, evolving, soaring and failing. Once you have one developmental stage licked, here comes a need for a completely different parenting approach. Oh and don’t get me started on what adding another child to the mix does to one’s parenting efficacy. It’s infinitely difficult, rewarding and painful all at the same time. So, while you’re waiting on that phone call from your adult child, here are a few inside tips on the life of the Generation Y’er. Technology: We can hardly keep up with the rapid advances in technology. Our children are becoming increasingly learned and, well, let’s face it – it’s hard to keep up! It took me three weeks to figure out what Blu- ray was and even then I had to Google it to find out. Cell phones and computers have become as vital as oxygen to your teen. Just try and take them away if you don’t believe me. Technology means so much more to children in this generation than in previous ones. Technology means connection, acceptance and support. (Remember when it just used to mean a way to increase efficiency?) Make no mistake that your child/teen has significant emotional connections to their electronic devices. When taking them away as punishment, I recommend only doing so when the consequence was set up prior to the infraction. Because of the emotional connection, setting up behavioral expectations to maintain a phone can be very effective, but again, only if discussed ahead of times.

Drug Use: Illegal drug use has taken on a new form in the current generation. Marijuana use has remained relatively constant across generations but is starting to rise in the present generation. Statistics show that the age of first exposure is younger than in previous generations. Further, the Just-Say-No drug campaigns of the late 80s and 90s are credited with a sharp decrease in illegal use of cocaine and heroine in the present generation of children. However, such ads failed to mention other drug dangers like prescription drug abuse. Children and teens reason that these drugs are safe because they have been prescribed and that if they simply use the same dosage, it is safe and nonaddictive. We know that this is not true, but the reasoning and access to these medications has taken a stronghold on the Generation Y’ers. Usage typically begins in middle school where children have been found trading their Ritalin for a Darvocet. It is insidious abuse and very difficult to regulate. Some children have drugs to win peer acceptance even if they don’t use them themselves. Drug use is no more prevalent in this generation than the last, it just presents itself differently. Keep an eye on the medicine cabinet.

Excess and Entitlement: Parents of Generation Y’ers (the Generation X’ers) were raised by the Baby Boomers. Because of the Boomers’ hard work, the X’ers began to live with more of life’s frills and learned the values of hard work and play. The fear of economic struggle, employment insecurity and personal responsibility has experienced some diluting across generations, leaving Generative Y’ers with a strong sense of entitlement (I deserve to have a lot because I’ve been given a lot, so I must have earned it just by being) and a tolerance for excess. (I mean, who really needs a GameCube, PlayStation 3 and the other one that I don’t know the name of.) It is imperative to maintain strong values of earning what we have. Even if we have a lot, children need to feel that work equals privileges. Creating a family philanthropy, a spirit of giving, requiring responsibility, respect and accountability are paramount. Keep in mind the X’ers and Boomers will be your child’s first boss and a sense of entitlement will not lead them to successful job evaluations. Did You Know? Here are a few things you may not know that is common knowledge (and intentionally unshared knowledge) for your child/teen. Did you know that there are cell phone rings that are of a particular frequency that can be heard only by individuals under 30 years of age? Yep, we lose our ability to detect some sound frequencies at a certain age. Make no mistake; your child can hear them loud and clear – kinda like a dog whistle. Did you know that school projects often encourage plagiarism by allowing Internet resources for use when writing papers and completing projects? School projects are graded more on how well one can surf the web and find the best websites than on original content. Children/teens struggle with the definition and application of the concept of plagiarism. We’re allowing them to think less, not to mention Y’ers parents help their children complete their projects and homework with much more assistance than previous generations. Whatever happened to Encyclopedia Britannica anyway? Did you know that teens are having sex at younger ages but are using more protection than in previous generations? These two trends together have left the teenage pregnancy rate relatively stable. Did you know that the hoodie so beloved by your child actually rose in popularity as a means to secretly utilize text messaging? Because many children can text (using predictive text) without even looking at the keys, the hoodie pocket is perfect for hiding the phone out of adult view and the hood of the hoodie ever-so-slightly hides the eyes as your child checks the return text. The texting alert tone is probably above our hearing frequency, as well. Stay Informed: One way to close the generation gap is to stay informed. Ask questions and inquire about changes in social trends and technology. The good news is that your teen (especially if you start when they are young) is happy to laugh at your ignorance and be the know-it-all. It can help you stay in touch with the loopholes they might try to pull, as well as give you a chance to join the new generation. Who knows? Maybe we can even look a little less lame. Just remember, you’ll get that phone call one day when your children are all grown up and successful and you’ll know that their parenting struggles have only just begun. Who’ll be smiling then (evil laugh)? BBFN. (If you don’t know what that means, you can Google it. That’s what I had to do when I received it in a text.)

Dr. Lea Pritchard-Boone is the mother of Dalton (3) and wife to Austin. She is Psychology Fellow of the LifeCare Psychology Group, LLC (formerly known as the Behavioral Health Group), in Florence and focuses primarily on treating children and adolescents.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 103

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Going somewhere? Don’t forget to pack your

She!

(left to right) Claudia Anne Brewer, Karen Thomas, Pat Drew & Kimberly Drew

October 2008 She Magazine “While visiting fabulous New York City, we displayed our She magazine for all to see in New York’s exciting Times Square! Besides, every good shopping trip needs great tips from She Magazine!” -Kimberly Drew

Sarah Thomas October 2008 She Magazine

Becky Morris November 2008 She Magazine “She traveled with me aboard the Carnival Fascination to Nassau, Bahamas November 13, 2008. My husband, John, and I cruised with 34 of our friends to Key West and Nassau November 10-15. There She Goes!

On a trip to Las Vegas, Sarah Thomas read about the comforts of home with her She Magazine.This picture was taken in front of the Bellagio Fountain with ‘Paris’ and ‘Planet Hollywood’ in the background.

To be featured in “There She Goes,” send an e-mail to [email protected]. Include a picture of yourself (friends welcome!) with a copy of She Magazine along with a brief description.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 105

From puberty to menopause, our doctors are with you during each stage of life! Revive your outlook on life and ensure a future full of health and happiness.

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She Magazine’s first annual Celebrate Your AGE campaign was sponsored by Genesis Cosmetic Laser Center and Stuart Laurence Salon (both in Florence).

To view even more CELEBRATE YOUR AGE photos and quotes, visit our website at www.shemagazine.com.

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“I've lived to the age that now my children tell me what to do. It's great being 89 since you can say nearly anything you want.” -Doris Frick (89)

“To use one word to describe this phase of my life - I think it would be LIBERATING. Gone are the self doubts, self expectations, and fear of disappointing others. I HAVE ARRIVED. I'm happy with life and who I am. I feel free to Live, Love and Enjoy life.”

“What I like most about my age now: I'm old enough to be fully considered an adult, but young enough to be classified as "twenty-something." - Anna Kathryn Pitts (26)

-Becky Lane (54)

“I've learned many, many things being able to discuss with anyone in a good manner and traveling, I'm not scared to travel anywhere. I like my age because it's brought me through the immaturities of life, allowing me to discover new things. -Carolyne Brower Williams (76)

“My age is 36. I love my age because 30 is the new twenty, but with greater confidence and wisdom. ‘If I had known then what I know now...’” -Allie Atkinson (36)

“I love being in my 30s because I feel like I have learned how to be comfortable in my own skin, aware of my weaknesses and flaws, made enough mistakes to learn from them, and experienced enough life to look forward to what is hopefully ahead. I have learned in my 34 years to live with a thankful heart, to truly enjoy today because we are not promised tomorrow and that it is not all about me...the important thing is pleasing Jesus!” -Erika Chapman (34)

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“90 is said to be for sissys but it's not as bad as you think because I have so many blessings in my life with my faith, friends and family in my former homes and here at my Presbyterian home.” -Frances McRae (90)

“ I am enjoying my twenties

“My children sleep well, potty

because I am learning how to be

alone, dress themselves, eat

comfortable in my own skin- and

without assistance, and

really enjoy and celebrate what it

shower together. Hallelujah!

is to be a woman and mother.”

I finally made it!”

-Ally Harrington (27)

-Cookie Cawthon (35)

“I feel my late 20’s is the best age. I’m old enough to be considered an adult, yet not so young that I’m treated like a child. I have dreams and goals that I want to achieve and feel like I am at an age to still accomplish those goals.” -Leigh Abdou (28)

“I've learned a lot and forgot a lot at 93 but the best thing is to know and love God.” -Maggie Lee Carter(93)

“My age is great because I can do what I want to, things I couldn't do when I was younger.” - Carolyn Shelley (62)

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 109

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I’ve never felt that I was older, I don't consider that I act my age and now I've dedicated my life, living at Bethea to helping the other less fortunate residents. That's what helps me keep going on. -Ruby Houser (77)

“While some people approach each birthday kicking and screaming, I can honestly say I haven’t yet found an age that bothers me. At 58 I have the freedom and time to enjoy the life I’ve been blessed with. Other than the security and joy of knowing my complete future is secure in Jesus Christ, my greatest happiness comes from spending time with our five grandchildren. As my husband says, it’s our job to say "yes" until their moms and dads say "no"…and we do that really well! “ -Ellen Tyner (58)

“ All of the years of my life have had meaning - children, marriage, etc..., but what makes this time so special is the wisdom, knowledge, and understanding to know who I am - a WOMAN (Wonderful, Optimistic, Mother, Amazing, Neighbor).” -Lori Zigari (43)

“ I have learned to always be honest and true to yourself. Keep our eyes on the Lord and trust him in the bad times as well as the good.” -Jean Lisenby (65)

“At twenty-five, I'm the most content I have ever been with my life. On the contrary, my life is pretty much a whirlwind from the time I wake up to the time I lay my head down at night, but that's okay with me. I've got a great marriage and two healthy children.” -Tuesday Taylor (25)

“I enjoy being eighteen because this is a time for change. Change signifies hope, and I am headed towards a bright, rewarding future.” -Liz Worn (18)

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“What I love most about being 32 is that I'm finally comfortable in my own shoes. Whether it's in my tennis shoes as I chase my three-year-old little girl, Rylyn or in my favorite pair of black boots on a well deserved night out with my husband, Richard. Whatever the case - Rainbows or bare feet, I'm just glad to be me!”

“I'm old enough to have grandchildren and there's nothing greater than spending time with your grandkids.” -Carlene Lyerly (55)

- Shelley Marsh (32)

“I’m 21 and I believe that age is more a state-of-mind than anything else. Let’s see if I still feel that way when I'm 64!” - Dresden Tucker (21)

“I love that I can usually score hardware in my age group in 5K runs. I’m looking forward to moving up into the next age group (50-60), where my odds are even better, since so very few women run after 50! Even now, by the way, I can also beat the slower 20 and 30 somethings—okay, only the extremely slower, but I can still beat them.” -Sandra Honaker (48)

"What I've learned about my age is to appreciate life & to take advantage of all the opportunities that are handed to me." -Trisha Williams (21)

“I like my age because I'm finally old enough to learn, understand, and appreciate how GREAT my parents are. Now when people say that I act and look just like my parents, it's a huge compliment!” -Heather Frick (24)

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 113

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 115

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 117

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His

all

Timing by Leigh Clary Abdou

All Christians have their struggles. One of my many struggles is patiently waiting on the Lord’s timing. I always want the circumstance or decision to go my way. It’s tough living with me; just ask my husband! From childhood, friends have defined me as “bossy.” Although not completely cured of having to have everything my way, I’m happy to report that I have slowly adjusted to accepting the Lord’s timing. Well, let’s just say more so than I ever did in my teen years and early twenties. I used to scheme up huge plans and have them implemented by the end of the day. I, like most women, manipulated and maneuvered situations to have it achieved the way I perceived best. Actually, if it wasn’t for a certain situation a couple years ago, I would probably still be the same. The Lord allowed me to experience a hardship where I had absolutely no control. I was powerless. I tried every way to remove myself and to make the circumstances different. In my own power, I would scheme every night while falling asleep, plotting how to make this problem better or to make it different. It wasn’t until about one year into the powerless situation that I finally gave up the fight. I finally gave up and let God do my fighting. This was one of the hardest times of my life. However hard it was, I know that the Lord used it as a refining period. The Lord says He will never let you be t e m p t e d b eyo n d

what you can bear (I Corinthians 10:13). But, you never know how much you can bear until you’ve been pushed to your limit. What I kept realizing was that when I thought I couldn’t take any more, I found the strength to continue putting one foot in front of the other. Being on the other side of this difficult time, I am now able to see the situation for what it was. I am a better person today because of what I was taught. As Beth Moore once said, there are those times in life when you need God, His Word and prayer to be like an IV in your arm to get you through the day. When I had no other place to run – and no other place to call for help – I turned to the Lord. Although painful, this time brought me closer to the Lord and renewed my desire to learn more about Him. Not only is the Lord’s timing crucial, but He promises to never leave us when the storm hits. In today’s time, we often hear preachers say that the Lord wants us to be happy and the Lord wants us to always be satisfied. While this is true, there is another side that is oftentimes not mentioned – a side that’s a little harder to preach on and one that people don’t always want to hear. There is a reason the Word says,“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4). Our lives won’t always be a cakewalk. Once someone becomes a Christian, it doesn’t guarantee there will never be a “valley of the shadow of death” experience. No, the guarantee is that His rod and staff will comfort His children when we are in the shadow of death. What a great promise that we can cling to! I am reminded of Abraham and Sarah. The Lord told them they were going to have a child and their descendents would be as numerous as the stars. He told Abraham this in Genesis 12 when he was 75-years-old. By the time Abraham had his promised child, he was 100. He waited twenty-five years from the time the Lord promised him this blessing to when the blessing finally occurred. I only had to wait two years in my powerlessness and I thought that was enough time to teach anybody a lesson. I can’t imagine twenty-five years! I won’t say I’m totally worriless today, but I will say that there are many instances when I roll problems off my back. Today, when I start to feel the walls cave in around me, I say a little prayer and realize that the Lord is in control. He was in control with Abraham and Sarah. He was in control when the nation of Israel wondered the desert for forty years. He was in control at the cross. Therefore, I know He’s in control of my life. I will leave you with a well-known psalm that I memorized in Vacation Bible School growing up and one that I repeat in my head on almost a weekly basis. The power of these words seizes my spirit every time I hear them. “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for His Name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me;Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever” (Psalm 23). Not my timing, but His.

Leigh Abdou lives in Florence with her husband,Tony, and loves working for She Magazine. She is originally from Valdosta, Georgia.

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A Touch of

romance

She Magazine • March 2009 • 119

...celebrating the wonderful lives our loved ones lead

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Wings for the

Spirit

Wait on God...

Expectantly, Hopefully and Joyfully

by Sherry S. Page

I agree with author, Barbara Johnson, when she said, “I believe . . . that she who laughs, lasts!” The Bible tells us in Proverbs 17:22 that a happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful heart works healing in us. So, let go and laugh – about something, anything – and last! * Three retirees with hearing loss were walking one windy, March day. One remarked, “Windy, isn’t it?” The second man said, “No, it’s Thursday.” The third man chimed in, “So am I. Let’s go have a Coke.” *Husband to a friend, “It’s terrible to grow old alone. My wife hasn’t had a birthday in ten years.” *Bride to new husband,“There you are, Darling, my first meal cooked just the way you’d better like it.” *An accommodating wife asked her grumpy husband one morning how he wanted his eggs cooked. His gruff reply was, “Scramble one and boil the other.” His wife cooked them as he asked and he exclaimed, “You scrambled the wrong one!” *When I was first married, I’d come home and it was so peaceful. My dog would bark at me and my wife would bring me my slippers. Now, some years later, my dog brings the slippers and my wife barks. Many people today are not happy in the life God gave us. John 10:10 tells us that Jesus came that we might have and enjoy life and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). Joy and contentment are made available to us as children of our Father God Who created us. Joy and contentment are not based on pleasant circumstances; it is a decision – an attitude to be contented wherever we are in life. If you and I do not have contentment today, we need to find out why and take a different approach in dealing with our situations. In Philippians 4:11, from a small, dirty, prison cell, Paul said he had learned to be content in whatever state he was in. This four-chapter book mentions sixteen times the words joy or rejoice. Life is filled with changes and it moves on. Some of these changes are great and some cause us to lose our contentment or joy. It has been said that life is what happens when you had other plans. Christians are anointed by God to get through the difficult times. God doesn’t always allow us to be in pleasant situations, but His grace will help us while we’re in them. We have the power to stay calm in hard times (Psalm 94:13). Decide to do what we must do and that we can have contentment while doing it. Philippians 4:13 says,“I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.” God will never allow more on us than we can bear. I Corinthians 10:13 promises He will provide a way out of every difficult situation and give us the strength to get through it. The only way to get to is to go through. God is not telling us we will never feel discontented, frustrated, hurt or fearful in our uncomfortable circumstances; but He does tell us not to let them consume us. Pray about everything! The earnest prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available (James 5:16). If a situation is not important enough to pray about, it’s not important enough to worry and talk about. None of us has everything in life happen the way we plan. Disappointments will come, which is normal. However, if we don’t resist negative feelings, it could cause something more severe like depression. Isaiah 61:3 instructs us to put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. It is of utmost importance to submit ourselves to God first; then resist the devil and he will flee (James 4:7). Someone once said,“When we get disappointed, get re-appointed with Jesus.” Press on as Paul stated in Philippians 3:13 to the good plan God has for us in His timing. A new start is needed by every person at some point in life. This could include prayer, Bible study, diet, exercise, marriage, death of a loved one, divorce, relationships, jobs, retirement, school and so on. God has already made arrangements for these new beginnings for us as we trust Him (Isaiah 43:19). If we are committed to Him, He goes before us in every situation. He has a good plan for our lives in His timing at each stage.

Sherry S. Page Atkinson lives in Marion with her husband, Jimmy. Those wishing to contact her may do so at the following address: 6526 South Highway 41 or you may e-mail her at: [email protected].

Getting a new outlook, a fresh start and renewing our minds is necessary as we make the choice to move on. Romans 12:2 informs us to be changed by the renewal of our minds (by its new ideals and its new attitude). Let our waiting on God be expectant, hopeful and joyful! In Acts 2:1-2, as they waited, suddenly there came a sound from Heaven. God moved all of a sudden! He can change people or situations in the blink of an eye as He wills! Never give up. Don’t allow yourself to stay disheartened. Have right attitudes and right actions while waiting, even when all seems to be going wrong for you. Trust, expect, hope and keep your faith in God! Your answer and sudden move by Him could be this day. Give Him praise! Joy and contentment are available where you are today. A prayer for salvation: Loving Father God, thank You for Your unconditional love for me. Thank You for Jesus and His death on the cross for my sins. I ask You, Jesus, to forgive my sins and come into my heart and save me. Thank You for salvation and a home in H e a v e n when my life on earth is e n d e d . Baptize and fill me to overflowing with Your Holy Spirit and Your love that I may be empowered to live the Christian life victoriously and witness of You. In Jesus’ powerful name, I pray! Amen.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 121

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BY HEATHER FRICK

COLLEGE OF CHARLESTON A little girl’s dreams become a woman’s ambitions when she reaches the

tells of all the great restaurants in the historic city of Charleston. She and her

age to attend college. For some time, Megan Rogers planned to attend Duke

friends like to get all dressed up and go down to The Market for a nice meal and

University, but the beauty of South Carolina (specifically Charleston) kept swaying

dessert at the “best bakery in Charleston, Kaminsky’s.”

her judgment. After graduating from Latta High School in 2005, Megan realized what

Megan recalls, “I heard a Christian song once that said, ‘I’m weak, I’m poor,

great schools were in South Carolina and also how much money could be saved if

I’m broken, Lord; but, I’m yours.’” Shortly afterwards, when she began college and

she stayed in state. Not only is the College of Charleston a great school but with

throughout her college career, she began her walk with Christ. She has spent a

scholarships, she would be able to obtain an affordable education.

majority of her college experience getting to know Him better and she is most

After making a decision on which college to attend, then it was time for

proud of her growing relationship with Him. She has been involved with Campus

another hard decision and the actual hard part. “What major?” Megan had worked

Outreach, an interdenominational ministry, and serving as a Discipleship Group

with various organizations for the elderly and knew that she particularly wanted to

Leader on their Servant Team and with the Freshman Dorm Ministry.

work with them. She decided to major in Health and Human Performance with a

“During my freshman year of college, I realized that there is absolutely

Concentration in Exercise Science. This will help her pursue a physical therapy posi-

nothing that I can do that is pleasing to the Lord. He says that even my most right-

tion for geriatric patients. “I feel that physical therapy is the best way for me to real-

eous deeds are rags to Him (Isaiah 64:6). Yet, He calls me not for performance, but

ly build a relationship with each individual elderly person.”

to obedience and chooses to use me every single day of my life. I have grown as a

Megan is involved in several professional organizations within her major.

performer in pageants, dance and school activities.”

She has been a member of the College of Charleston Dance Team (The

Last summer, Megan was given the opportunity to spend two months in

Cougarettes) for four years, where she has served as Fundraising Captain and

Khon Kaen, Thailand. There, she dedicated her life in teaching the Thai people the

Program Captain. She has also spent her summers being a cast member at Disney

Glory of God. “I quickly fell in love with the Thai people and culture and was able

World, first working at Walt Disney World’s Epcot Theme Park and then, MGM

to see such a great need for Jesus in their lives,” Megan says. She dreams of going

Hollywood Studios.

back one day to be a full-time missionary, taking her family along with her.

Nonetheless, Megan enjoys staying close to campus and taking in its beau-

In the meantime, Megan plans on graduating in May of 2009 and hopes to

ty. She loves sitting under the oaks in the Cistern (the open courtyard located on

attend graduate school at either the Medical University of South Carolina or the

the College of Charleston campus at George and St. Philip streets), which is what

University of South Carolina to earn a Doctorate in Physical Therapy. First, howev-

the College of Charleston students consider the “heart of campus,” Megan says. She

er, she plans on marrying her best friend in August 2009.

Megan is the daughter of Buddy and Loria Ann Rogers of the Temperance Hill Community in Marion, SC. She has a thirteen-year-old sister, Anna. Megan will be marrying Christopher Bolding in August of 2009.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 123

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WOMEN AT WORK

Community Relations Outreach Coordinator with The Greater Hartsville Chamber of Commerce

JANA E. LONGFELLOW on

January 12, 2009, I became the Community

Relations and Outreach Coordinator, which is a two-year grant position written by the Greater Hartsville Chamber of Commerce and funded by The Byerly Office. Currently juggling several projects at one time – helping to plan a new integrated website joining the existing “Hartsville Art of Good Living” site with the Greater Hartsville Chamber of Commerce website, compiling content and photos for the new site, recruiting and training the Hartsville community and Student Ambassadors to assist interested families new to the area and marketing Hartsville using media – I also assist in building partnerships between groups and organizations to strengthen the quality of life for all community members. I love everything about my new career! It’s real-

right path for me to take. When my children were younger, it

ly exciting to promote the beautiful city of Hartsville that

was wonderful for me to have a job where I could have a

I have adopted.

flexible schedule that accommodated their school and

For the past three years, I was the Director of

activity schedules. Our church is in the middle of the

Children, Youth and Young Adults at Wesley United

downtown area, full of life and bustling with events that

Methodist Church, as well as a columnist and freelance

are hosted in our fellowship hall from the community, so

writer for The Messenger newspaper. I have also written

there was never a dull moment! Working at the church

for the Citizen Journalism Website, HartsvilleToday.com.

was a blessing to me and I really grew spiritually from that

Currently, I still write my column, contribute to

experience. Now that my children are getting older, this

HartsvilleToday and do most of my former duties at

new career is a wonderful way for me to bridge that gap

Wesley now as a volunteer.

as a woman with more independent children. It was still

The change in my career at this time in my life

hard to imagine not being hands-on with the children and

came about because I have always been very civic- mind-

youth of the church; however, since I left the position, our

ed and promoted Hartsville in my column and on

wonderful parents have really pulled together to work as

HartsvilleToday. Last year, the Byerly Foundation hosted

a volunteer team to create wonderful Christian experi-

a series of discussions about how to best market our city

ences and training for our young people of Wesley.

to keep it vital in a changing economy. I took interest and

The advantages of changing careers is that I can

applied when the Byerly Foundation announced that a

use my strengths and creativity in new ways which makes

person was needed to bring the project to life. I was

each day exciting and retaining my connection to the

attracted to this particular position because I would have

church as a volunteer keeps me close to my church fami-

the ability to use my training in the various colleges I

ly. I encourage women to take the plunge – even when

attended with the experience I’ve had in social work,

they think it’s too late to change careers. Although my

community involvement through the church and my vol-

choice was difficult to make, it was truly a blessing to me

unteer organizations.

to listen to my intuition and embrace change. If a change

Furthermore, writing and taking

photos have really made this job a dream opportunity.

in careers feels right – and the path is clear – you can be

Of course, I had reservations and fears in chang-

guaranteed that God is leading you in that direction for a

ing careers at this point in my life. I adored working with

reason. He wants us to use our gifts to help others and

the children and youth of Wesley UMC and it took a lot of

that is often why those opportunities arise.

soul searching and prayer to decide if this was truly the Jana E. Longfellow lives in Hartsville. She has two sons, Dirk (20) and Dylan, (almost 18), and a daughter, Jade (16).

Thoughts About My Age: I am thrilled to be in my forties! I have a strength born of life experiences that makes me feel that I am at my very best. What I Appreciate Most About Where I Am Now: At this stage in my life, my children are very independent and that gives me a bit more time to spend on my own interests, while enjoying an even stronger bond with each child as they approach maturity. Career wise, I have never been happier. Important Life-Lessons I’ve Learned So Far: At ten, I realized that the rest of the world was not as fortunate as Americans and that even here, there is often a large gap between the have and have-nots. At age twenty, I married and learned the art of being a wife and mother and was very blessed to be a stay-athome mother. At thirty, my whole world changed by a devastating divorce; at that time, I realized I had more strength than I knew I had and went on to complete my college degree and embark on life as a single parent. Since turning forty, (I am now in my 41st year), I have learned the life lesson of trusting my intuition in making decisions and have been so pleased with how that has guided my life to experiences that I would have never imagined. I See Life Differently Now: When I was younger, I saw life as being on the sidelines, allowing others to make decisions without speaking up. Now, I have the confidence to be more assertive. One does not have to risk her femininity to be strong and I have many role models that have exhibited that in remarkable ways. What Keeps Me Young: Keeping a great sense of humor, retaining a child-like sense of wonder of the beauty of our earth, doing something for others each day – and prayer keeps me young.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 125

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Boogie Shoes and Boat Paddles by Cookie Cawthon

A

All of this talk about age has me headed for the hills to reflect and ponder and

I have observed a remarkable phenomenon at work within my class. The tumultuous

ruminate and cogitate (one can never have too many synonyms, huh?). I’m going to my

times of adolescence have bowed down and submitted to the fear of the future; drama

reflection place – my mental destination for reflecting. It’s a lot like my happy place.

is deflated and uncertain days lie ahead. I am blinded by the beam of the stadium lights,

Well, truth be told, they are the same place; I am just reflective AND happy there. I

and the echo of my voice makes my delivery awkwardly timed, but I savor the

digress.

memory. It was my time to be heard. As the wind tousles my hair (the ceiling fan greatly assists this effect) and the

I find the gown a little too cumbersome for paddling and the tassel from the

noonday brilliance knocks the chill off the breeze, the sun stands behind me and my

cap keeps tickling my nose, so I stow them away under my seat. While studying the

back is perfectly warmed – compelling goose bumps to stand at attention on my arms.

soft ripples of my interruptions, I quickly arrive at my twenty-fourth birthday. I’m

The sky is cloudless, revealing a rich blue that is rarely replicated in nature. There is

seated to dinner at a really nice restaurant – feeling quite out of place and anxious –

no noise. No fear. No other people. I am the population of my happy place. The lake

enjoying the experience and loathing it all at once. I unceasingly ask Chris about

perfectly mirrors the flourishing hills that surround it. The dock is rocked ever so

silverware and etiquette and how to order, for Pete’s sake. At this restaurant – on this

gently by the movement of the still water. It is a place of solitude. It’s here that I can

day – dessert comes with a proposal on the side. Oh my, it was my turn to be loved.

revisit the shores of my past and stake my claim to my current season. I remember. I launch and paddle intermittently – gliding more than working. I steer in a

With some bling on my finger, I stroke on. I lose my bearings a few times – so distracted by the ring and how the sun catches its many surfaces. One more

general direction – unable to see my first stop. It is across the lake – the farthest

memory on the itinerary, and it should be just around this bend, tucked behind some

distance from the dock, but time is easy here – smooth and fluid and painless. I hear

brush along the sandy shore. It’s me and my two girls. We’re lying in a hospital bed

it before I see it and excitement bubbles in my tummy. It’s my fifth or sixth birthday,

welcoming the newest member of our family. I wrap my arms around them both – the

and I am dancing like nobody’s business.

three year-old and the newborn – and I try to convey the most complex of emotions

A campground borders the seam of the land and the lake, and festivities are well underway. I am sixteen minutes shy of sharing my birthday with Independence

through my squeeze – reassurance, confidence, unconditional love. I was almost thirty-two. And it was time for me to give on a whole new level.

Day, so the camp residents are in full celebration. I’m pretty sure that I know the party

A little sleep-deprived after that stop, I’m done visiting. I’m ready to return

isn’t for me, but it feels like good times all the same. The band cranks up, and my insides

to the dock, plant in a comfy chair and plug my ears with some I-pod tunes. I make

get the jitters. At the encouragement of my family, I go out to dance with an aunt or

quick strokes across the lake, and see my destination up ahead. I step out of the boat

some cousins. And if the party wasn’t for me before I start dancing, it is after those

onto the dock and unexpectedly look straight down the barrel of my thirty-sixth

folks see my moves. They cheer and clap for me, and I dance in my bare feet for hours,

birthday (which is still a few months away). No fear here. I reach around and disarm

unwilling to stop – covered in dust and sweat. It was my first dance.

it. I am not afraid. My past makes me passionate about tomorrow. I want to dance ‘til

I slip back into the boat with dirt creases in my elbows and knees and paddle to my

my body gives up. I want to be heard. I want to love and be loved like crazy. I want

next stop. Once I make land and tie up, I find myself bedecked in cap and gown,

to rise continually to the challenge of giving on a whole new level. It’s a glorious day

preparing to speak at my high school graduation – a few weeks before my eighteenth

to be me, and I say – bring it on!

birthday. It is indeed a time for reflection and anticipation. As I articulate in my speech, Cookie Cawthon is blessed to be wife to Chris, mother to Carson (6) and Campbell (3), Diet Pepsi addict, and crazy-excited greeter at NewSpring Church’s Florence campus.

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Annie I

at

Life Wide Open

I’m 25-years-old and I have two children. My life after college has been nothing less than a whirlwind. In my last semester of college, I worked two jobs and had an internship, all the while taking eighteen credit hours, including one graduate course. On top of all that, I was planning my wedding. I graduated on December 17, 2004, though I didn’t walk because that was the day of my wedding rehearsal. Dan and I were married the following day at 2 PM in Pisgah National Forest at a little chapel on the most beautiful day in December. I was 21-years-old. At 22, we learned that I was pregnant with Maddy. I had her at 23. When Maddy was eight-months-old, we found out that I was pregnant with Phoebe. She was born a couple months before my twenty-fifth birthday. Since entering the fascinating world of Facebook, I realized that among my peers from high school (not as much from my Bible college), I’m in the minority. Most of the people I went to high school with are in serious relationships or are married, but not many of them have one child, let alone two. They are focused on post-graduate studies and career paths. There is a vast disparity between them and myself, evidenced by the fact that my profile picture usually shows one or both of my girls and rarely just me. Even my closest high school friends seem so distant, though I wish it weren’t that way. We find it hard (I think) to connect in a real and meaningful way as our lives are at such very different places. At the risk of being honest, they are more focused on themselves; whereas (even if I wanted to be), I don’t have that option. My world revolves around the two little girls that are in my care, my gifts from God. I’m not the first (nor will I be the last) to marry “young” and have all my children before the age of thirty. In fact, it’s all relative to the cultural times and status-quo. I just finished reading Pride and Prejudice (which I highly recommend if you are in the mood for a nice, clean, well-written novel). Taking place in the late eighteenth century, Miss Jane Bennet, the eldest of five sisters, was not yet married at the age of 23 and that was considered a little worrisome. The main character, Elizabeth Bennet, was “not yet one-and-twenty” and her close friend, Charlotte Lucas, was 27-years-old, unmarried and considered destined to be an old maid by some of her family and acquaintances. Nowadays, getting married and settling down seems to be the last priority, with degrees, careers and “me-time,” coming first. Once in marriage, many still wait several years (sometimes five or more) before considering starting a family because they want to make sure they get to do all they want to do before children come along and zap all the fun out of life. Obviously, I’m speaking in extremes here; but, really, we do have to ask ourselves what is the true motivation behind our choices to wait or go forward in marriage and child-bearing. For some, it’s very wise to wait. They may not be ready emotionally, spiritually or practically for such a great life-change and going forward would bring much turmoil and pain and, ultimately, it may not be the right time. For others, though, it may be a more inconspicuous matter of the heart. When Dan proposed and I accepted with all my heart, I didn’t know the extent in which I would have to deny myself (though I had some idea). Soon after marriage, you realize that if you don’t intentionally put your spouse before yourself, there will be consequences. If you’re fortunate enough to have found the one perfect person that will always give of himself and put you first, then you can continue to live on in a selfcentered manner. But, we know that is impossible. Ideally, both husband and wife will strive to sacrifice their own needs and wants to put the other’s first – or at least strive to do so on a daily basis. Dan and I are definitely not victorious in this area, but it’s something we realize is essential and something we are determined to work towards. This concept stems from the truth that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church and in order to accurately portray this, we must humble ourselves to the extent that Christ did for us, “And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to death, even the death of the cross” (Philippians 2:8).

That being said, the amount of myself that I had to give in order for our marriage to succeed was nothing in comparison to what I have had to give for my children. That’s probably because they can’t give a whole lot back. Putting them first has required more sacrifice than anything else I have encountered in my twenty-five years of life, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Dan and I didn’t get a lot of “us-time” before we had children (only about a year, actually). In that time, we were still learning all about giving ourselves to each other. We did go on one amazing trip out west, backpacking in Tahoe and touring San Francisco. So, why did we decide to get married “young” and start having children so soon after marriage? Well, simply put, we took a close look at our motivation for waiting and realized most (if not all) of our concerns were selfish. We gave our lives to the Lord and decided that He was the best One to decide when, where and how we would start a family. I don’t regret having so little time for ourselves because our time with our girls is so amazing. I do look forward to a time when we will have a little more freedom to go on more adventures, but I don’t ever want to go back. I don’t ever want to lose what I have gained in the ability to give of myself without sorrow to whomever or whatever God wants me to. I have further to go in learning what it means to deny myself and take up my cross daily (Mark 8:34) and I will be working at it until I’m home with my Lord. So, as for these 25 years, I think God has done some amazing things and I look forward to however many years I have left. I hope and pray that they will not be wasted on anything temporal but will leave a lasting impact on the Kingdom of God. By the way, my sacrifice for my children is the most important way right now that I am impacting God’s Kingdom and I’m sure there are other moms who need to hear that. When things get tough – and they do so often – remember that Jesus came as a child and ministered to children and that, in your children, you have the ability to pour all you know about God day-in-and-day-out for eighteen-plus years. Don’t take this time for granted. God has you right where He wants you. Glorify Him in your situation – wherever you are.

Originally from Orlando, Florida, Annie Collins now resides in Marion with her husband, Dan, a Youth Minister, and their two daughters, Maddy and Phoebe. She is a 2004 graduate of Columbia International University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology. Annie looks forward to your feedback. You may contact her at [email protected].

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April 4, 2009 10am-5pm




Ten beautiful homes, historical residences and lush gardens are open for your viewing...

Historic Marion Tour of Homes & Gardens

Tickets are $25.00 on the day of, and $20 in advance and may be purchased through the Marion Chamber of Commerce. Lunch is being offered for $12.50 per person at the Marion County Museum, reservations required. The Grove is on the tour and will have refreshments in the main house and cooking will be taking place in the 1941 servant's house on the wood cookstove.

Join us at The Grove for a two night getaway that weekend which includes dinner on Saturday night and your tour ticket.

Special Events, Bed & Breakfast, Tours & More

The Grove The Inn on Harlee–Marion, SC For Reservations call

843.423.5220 or visit www.montgomerysgroveinn.com

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the

of

Menopause by J. Marshall Dent, III, MD

As women enter menopause, they are confused and frightened by the hormonal changes they are experiencing, as well as the fear of starting therapy to combat the symptoms. In the modern era, a woman who makes it to age 54 is more than likely going to live to be 84years-old. That’s a staggering fact that means she will be living more than a third of her life in menopause. This new reality has brought overdue choices and liberation but with a price – hormonal chaos, misinformation about hormones, increased risk of cancer and disease and accelerated aging. As a gynecologist who specializes in hormonal maintenance, patients come to me not only for their gynecological problems, but to solve their hormonal imbalance, improve their sense of purpose and well-being, to infuse passion for life and prevent disease. Many first-time patients simply don’t feel good. They don’t sleep well. They experience hot flashes and roller coaster emotions they can’t seem to control. Relationships with their husbands are suffering because of lack of sexual desire. They are gaining weight for the first time in their lives and have not changed their eating habits or exercise routines. Often, they come in desperation; nothing has worked and they have discussed it with their doctor only to be told that it’s part of aging and to accept it. They often have turned to lifestyle and dietary changes, spent money on supplements and gym memberships; yet, they complain about their declining health and increased aging. When I do a hormonal assessment and bring up the subject of hormones, many women encounter fear and confusion but are desperate to feel better. Therefore, they are willing to try anything that may give them that zest for life they once had. My job is to reassure them that hormones are not going to kill them and are not cancer stimulators. In their defense, no wonder they are confused because of all the misinformation about the dangers of hormones. Unfortunately, bad news sells newspapers and magazines. If I were a woman and if I believed everything I read in the media, I would be paranoid that my hormones after age fifty are suddenly going to turn on me and kill me, too. For many women, the word hormone has become synonymous with cancer, death and the beginning of the end of life. I try to ease the concerns women have and ask them to give hormones a try and then make a decision on how they feel after. Often, it is not a difficult sell when they

notice how much better they feel. What is wrong with the medical reports is you are not being told one major fact: there is nothing in common between the hormones produced in your body and the “hormones” involved in these reports. Knowing the difference between chemicalized, hormonal substitutes and the natural hormones can open an exciting new frontier of natural hormones that are the precise replica of your body’s own hormones. What better example of natural hormone than the use of DNA technology to produce the perfect replica of human insulin. Who today uses pig or cow insulin? Maybe one day in the future I can ask who uses horse estrogen anymore. It is not as simple as the use of natural hormones as it is the right ratio and the right hormone for the individual patient. The beauty of natural hormones is that they can be tailored to the individual’s needs. That is where the real art of hormone management comes in to play. You have to listen to the patient and they will tell you what makes them feel best. I have learned from sixteen years of experience with natural hormones what works for most and the key to that is the follow-up you get from that patient. I’m not saying that all problems are related to estrogen, testosterone and progesterone; but, at least when you correct them, only then can you see if one really needs that antidepressant, sleeping pill or anxiety pill. I learned early on in clinical practice that patients were not getting better on what I was taught to use out of residency training and I changed to the use of bio-identical hormones early on in my career. I always have heard the saying, “The proof is in the pudding,” and I think that is so with hormones. A woman will use a hormone if it makes her feel well and not so much in what it is supposed to do for her heart, bones or skin. There is so much noncompliance in medicines because patients don’t feel any better or they have side effects. A prime example is cholesterol-lowering drugs that are great for lowering your lipids and preventing a first heart attack, but they have so many side effects. Patients don’t grasp the bigger benefit and stop taking the medicine. Hormonal therapy is purely elective; it is for women who want to restore and prolong their healthfulness and youthfulness. I invite you to take hold of the menopause challenge and embark on an exciting time in your life. If you desire more information on the use of bio-identical hormones, I welcome the opportunity to talk to you about the subject at my office or at the seminar that I will be speaking at in March.

Hormonal therapy is purely elective; it is for women who want to restore and prolong their healthfulness and youthfulness.

If you have questions about the information in this article, you may contact Dr. Dent at Complete Women’s Health Care in Florence. Dr. Dent is Board Certified in Family Practice and Obstetrics and Gynecology and also holds an Advanced Certification in Menopausal Medicine.

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She Magazine • March 2009 • 131

20 Years of SAFE SPACE In 1988, a generous donation from the Junior League of Florence allowed the Pee Dee Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Assault to purchase property to serve as an emergency safe shelter for battered women and their children. The community response was tremendous as volunteers scraped, painted, papered, furnished and equipped the home that opened to residents in March 1989. Those concerned citizens who were involved in the early stages of getting the shelter operational shared a common vision – an organization dedicated to the reduction of rape, family violence and child abuse and to meeting the needs of its victims. They shared common beliefs – the reduction of these crimes is a community issue and should not be just the responsibility of service providers but all who value the basic human right to live free from physical threat and harm. Since opening its doors 20 years ago, 5,555 women and children have sought refuge in the Pee Dee Coalition Shelter. Some have fled in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on their backs; others carefully planned their escape. The one thing they all have had in common is the need for safety and support. While the primary purpose of the shelter is to provide emergency safe space for victims of domestic violence, a strong program has been developed over the years to serve the needs of the residents of the shelter. Individual counseling, support groups, information and referral, children’s services, advocacy and education are all provided for residents in an emotionally supportive environment. The need for a caring community who is willing to speak out, take a stand, give from the heart and be a light to someone walking in the darkness of terror has not changed in 20 years. As long as there is one voice crying in the darkness, one woman and child seeking safety or one home with no peace, there will be a place for victims and their families to begin anew. Upon leaving the shelter, residents are asked what the best thing about the shelter is. Maybe the words of a child who wrote a thank-you note says it best,“Thank you very much for helping my momma get better and giving my brother, sister, momma and me a new beginning!”

Don’t think of it as aging... Think of it as a time to redefine yourself - a time to become everything you dreamed you would be.

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who’s

that

girl?

Family: Mother, Judy Herb; brothers, Daniel and Michael School: Senior at

My Personality:

The King’s Academy

Reserved, spiritual, loyal, caring and sometimes unpredictable!

Accomplishments:

First Place SCISA Literary Meet (High School Girls Oral Interpretation-Humorous), 2008 SCISA Art Show Honors Recipient, State 2D Art Competition – 3rd Place, Senior Class Chaplain, Member of Fellowship of Christian Athletes

Favorite Books:

Hobbies:

Reading, drawing, singing, Classics by Jane Austen acting, piano, flute & hanging & Shakespeare out with my friends

My Dream: To do the will of God the best I can so that I can hear Him say, “Well done.”

Favorite Song: “Be Still & Know” by Steven Curtis Chapman Favorite Movies: Wuthering Heights, Ben-Hur, Pride and Prejudice Person I’d Like to Meet: I would like to meet Jesus, but then that wouldn’t be walking in faith. As a Christian, I know that I will meet Him one day. I would also like to meet Mary.

Something No One Knows About Me: I would like to go on Broadway and play a role that is the complete opposite of who I am.

Favorite Scripture: Galatians 5:1: “So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.”

My Fun: Hanging out with people that make me happy and care about me

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BE PAIN FREE BY SPRING PAIN MANAGEMENT IS OUR SPECIALTY.

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