Returned Missionary Dating Application

Returned with Honor

Returned Missionary Dating Application

Due to the overwhelming demand for returned missionaries, this form has been established in an effort to qualify the prospective candidates. This form must be filled out by all desiring dating privileges to returned missionaries. Complete cooperation is requested in filling out this form. Use only correct and pertinent information. If any additional help is required due to underqualification, comestibles and photos are accepted as bribes. Please remember 2 Nephi 9:34 while filling out this form. Information of Returned Missionary This section is to be filled out by returned missionary Returned missionary’s name (First, MI, Last)

Name of mission served

Years Served

Identification Name (first, middle, last)

mo.

yrs.

Date of Birth(month, day, year) Are you:

Gender

Over 21

Under 21

ST

Were you:

Zip code

Weight (please be honest, this is Color of hair

Still in primary

M

?

F

Work Phone

Home Phone

( City

Under 16

Under 18

Email address

Home Street Address

Height

Favorite Color

Time since return

19 to 19 Type or print all requested information using black or blue ink

(

)

)

Born Adopted Hatched Kidnapped Found on front porch Government reject Fell from sky Other_____________________________ Ring size

Natural color of hair Eye color

confidential)

Marital Status

(VERY important)

Single

Engaged

Other (if other, tear up form)

Family Background Do you live with your parents? Yes

No

Do you have smaller brothers or sisters?

Yes

No

Is there a history of mental illness in your family? Yes No Is your Father friendly?

Yes

No

Yes

No With what

Do you have any royal blood?

Yes

No

How much

How about horse thieves?

No

Yes

Do your parents approve of returned missionaries? Yes No

If parents are sealed, in which temple were they sealed?

Yes

If yes:

Can they be bribed? Yes

WWF Wrestlers?

No

Does he own a gun? If yes, what caliber? Has he ever used Is he a: it? Yes No Yes No

Does your dad give temple reccomend interviews to your dates?

How big?

Do you have a dog?

Is your refrigerator always If no, why stocked? Yes No

If yes, is there enough room for you to continue living If you do not live with parents, where do you live? there after marriage? Yes No

Do you want to be sealed there as well? Yes

For how long

Crazed 6-foot Albanian Dwarfs?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Yes No Yes No Yes No Good Shot Fair Shot Poor Shot Expert Shot Deadly Shot Big Shot Cheap Shot Rabies Shot 3-point Shot

If no, why? Any weird additional information about your family:

No

What kind?

Does he bite?

No

Yes

Yes

Ever tried feeding peanut butter or bubble gum to a dog? Yes No

Can he be out-run?

Does he have his shots?

No

No

Yes

No

Personal Information Good Fair Poor Weak How often do you bear On a seperate page, please write your testimony (not thank-a-mony or travel-log) Strong Changeable None your testimony? Every week Every other week Three times a month Once a month *Would you like to know more about the LDS church, eternal families and other fun stuff? Yes No Twice a year Wouldn’t be caught dead there Never heard of it*

Have you ever seen the C.E.S. video “Godly Sorrow” about the girl who can’t go to the temple? Yes No Do you go to church:

Is your testimony:

Are you a seminary graduate? Did you recieve your Young Woman’s or Eagle scout (as applicable) award? Yes No Yes No

Jr. High High School School name for highest education achieved, major, and year of College Charm school graduation Are YOU also a returned Anger easily Any other shortcoming? missionary? Yes No Covet easily

Grade School Trade School Gossip Please easily Snore Stay Mad

Did you graduate from: Do you:

Are you presently employed? Where?

Yes

What callings have you had?

Monthly income

For how long?

G.P.A. Sense of humor:

If illiterate, please provide name of the person filling this out.

Fair Grin

Hilarious Chuckle

Giggly Dead

Would this meager income support me in the manner to which I have become accustomed to? Yes No

No

Number, in order your first ____ Big Mac ____Steak and Lobster ____Hot Dogs ____Seafood ____Pizza ____Peanutbutter Sandwiches ____Top Ramen ____Macaroni and Cheese ____Corn 8 favorite dishes: ____Mexican food ____Low/Non fat stuff ____Cultural dishes from the mission field ____Tuna fish ____Chocolate Cake ____Spam ____Other:__________________ Can you cook? How Well? (1-10) What do you like to cook? Would you consider submitting a sample? Yes No Yes No Can you Sew?

Yes

How Well? (1-10)

No

Do you dress mostly in:

Do you make your own clothes? Yes No

Dresses Sleeveless

If you had a choice between elegant and casual clothing, which would you prefer?

Do you wear your own Can you cut hair? Can you play the piano? clothes? Yes No Yes No Yes No

Skirts Blouses Sweaters Pants Turtle neck T-shirts Elegant What color of lipstick do you Casual prefer?

Polo shirts Suit & Tie

Yes

Yes

No

Light

Medium

Which form of literature do you read?

Favorite Color

Favorite TV Show

Do you drink?

If yes, which?

No

Scripures Friend

Novels S.I. or G.Q.

Classics Mad Mag.

Is it very necessary?

Caked on

Yes

No

Ever heard of the commitment pattern? Yes No

Comic Books Tracting pamplets

Favorite Sport

Water Root Beer Milk Diet Coke Hot Chocolate Coke Other (please specify)_________________________________________ Sprite

Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for?

No

Heavy

Languages in addition to english that you speak:

What is your favorite reading material?

Yes

Do you dress modestly? If no, Why?

Do you use makeup? If so, how much?

If yes, why?

Yes

Shorts Whatever’s Clean!

Any other useful talents?

Cosmo type mags Tabloids

New Era Internet stuff

Favorite form of recreation Are you:

Soft spoken Loud spoken Spoken for Other ______________________________________

If no, why not?

No

How many children do you want and expect to have?

If over 12, why?

If under 4, why?

In light of our priesthood leader’s council for longer courtships and shorter engagements, What is your idea of a perfect honeymoon? length of engagement preferred: (If over 6 months, tear up form) Will you be available on this date? ____/ _____/ ____ Fair Would you mind if your engagement ring was just a simple gold band? Yes No Your personality: Excellent Good (if no, please give this form to someone who will) Yes No Poor Bad N/A (the bretheren have advised against debt) In what occupation would you prefer your Are you willing to put your Spouse How do you feel about Pres. Benson’s exortation that women stay at Will you support your spouse in his/her Spouse? through school? Yes No home, raise kids and not work? Like it Don’t like it callings? Yes No

Dating ___Dinner ___Movie ___Dance ___Concert ___Go tracting ___Bowling ___Swim ___Talk ___Picnic ___Walk ___Watch tv ___Study ___Cuddle ___Miniature golf ___Party ___Other______________________ Do you close your eyes Do you kiss on Yes No Yes One eye Do you cover your mouth when you yawn When kissing Breathless Pass out do you get: your first date? or sneeze? Depends on the person when you kiss? Yes No Neither eye Speechless Passionate Do you use mouthwash? If so, what kind? Do you feel it is important that your Dating transportation Truck Moped Rolls Royce B.M.W. date has a car? VW bug Geo metro Yes No Yes No preferred: Bike Mercedes If selected, list in order of preference what you would like to do on your first/next date:

Miscellaneous Information Pertinent to my salvation Do you have a boyfriend/ Weight girlfriend? Yes No

Height

Is he/ she a:

Heavyweight Karate expert

Light weight Wimp

Feather weight Eats stuff raw

Really big stupid person who found this and is reading it

Conclusion This is your time, dear sister or brother, to remark on anything that you feel would be of interest to “The Judge.” In 100 words or more, give reasons why you want to date a returned missionary. Also a brief description of yourself including personality, interests, etc. All photos and any other bribes such as cookies, candy, home cookin’, and any other goodies will be used primarily in classifying your application, and to boost the morale of the returned missionary. Each application will receive the upmost consideration. Please place drop of your favorite perfume:

Place imprint of lips in space provided:

Place picture here

Date taken and occasion________________________________________

I hereby certify that all the questions have been honestly and sincerely answered, to the best of my ability (especially the weight question).

Signature Chris Bair July 1998 (please email me at [email protected]) this would be copywrited (©), but I stole the idea myself and re-did it. feel free to copy it to complete the first commandment given to the children of men.

Date: 7/98

Printed in USA

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