Prof

Om Sri Sai Ram PROF. ANIL KUMAR’S INSPIRATIONAL TALKS - I Prashanthi Nilayam - October 27, 2002 SWAMI’S ILLNESS My Own Personal Experiences OM… OM… OM… Sai Ram. With Pranams at the Lotus Feet of Bhagawan, Dear Brothers and Sisters! The Completion of Sixty Years There have been repeated requests from friends – in fact they have been demands, so I can't just say requests -- asking me to share my personal experiences with devotees, which I have not done so far. (Applause) I feel that it amounts to self-praise and I am hesitant that it may not help others. My experiences may not help others and it may also exhibit my vanity or ego. These have been my misgivings or misapprehensions regarding the subject of sharing my personal experiences. There is one milestone in each individual life. It is clearly stated that one has to totally dedicate himself to his own liberation, for his own salvation. One lives for a job; one struggles hard for money; one strives very much to settle his children; but after sixty, completing sixty, the scriptures clearly say, "My dear boy, it is time to retire. You can no longer involve yourself in avenues of income, and it’s not proper to think of professional promotions. It is absolutely foolish to think of your name, fame and esteem because after sixty, the time you have left is to live for yourself. You are no longer going to live for your family; you are not going to be interested in wealth or name, dignity or prestige - nothing! It is time for you to meditate, to reflect, to go within, to turn inward." The completion of sixty years in our scriptures is called ‘Shasthi Poorti’. ‘Shashti’ means ‘sixty’ and ‘poorti’ means ‘completed’. As I have completed Shasthi Poorti, I take this opportunity today to share my experiences in all humility and in all reverence. First, let me express my gratitude from the bottom of my heart. I really mean 100% of what I say. I'm grateful to every one of you for all the encouragement that you have given me, for all the support you have extended to me, for all the rapt attention with which you have heard my talks. You have made me go through Sai literature in depth. You have helped me to just reach across the shores of Sai literature. You have helped me to go into the depth of Sai philosophy. Therefore kindly accept my grateful thanks each and every one of you. Had there not been this Satsang, this assembly of noble souls, it would not have been possible for me to come out with these topics of immense interest. Because there have been continuous requests, even demands, from friends, this morning I seek your permission to speak on a personal note. I'm sure that you must know me by now, that you’ll never misunderstand me. In all humility, I submit to you my own experiences. My Grandfathers I came to the Lotus Feet of Bhagawan in the year 1970, thirty-two years ago. To tell you honestly, I belonged to a family of Brahmo Samaj. Brahmo Samaj happens to be an improvement, if I am to say, or the modern presentation of Hindu faith. Raja Rammohan Roy founded Brahmo Samaj. He was very much interested in woman’s emancipation and very much interested in a classless society. Brahmo Samaj doesn’t believe in idolatry; it does not accept worship. Brahmo Samaj’s emphasis is on meditation, on God who is attributeless and formless,

who has neither a beginning nor an end. Brahmo Samaj believes in the fellowship of faiths, the equality of all religions. It does not accept yagnas, yagas, worship or pictures or incarnations – anything whatsoever. I belong to the third generation of Bramo faith. My maternal grandfather and my paternal grandfather, who were classmates, later became related. Both of them were Brahmo Samaj missionaries for sixty years. My maternal grandfather served as editor of one magazine, a spiritual magazine, with all the details of philosophy, by name ‘Darshan Sadhani’, which means ‘The Spiritual Path along the Path of Dharma’. For forty-five years, he was editor of that magazine. My paternal grandfather served for fifty years as editor of another magazine, ‘Dharma Jyothi’ -‘The Light of Righteousness’. Sri Kandakuri Veresharam Pantulu, a great reformer from the state of Andhra Pradesh, married both of them. Both of them happened to be Brahmo Samaj missionaries. In our homes, we did not have any pictures of Rama, Krishna - nothing whatsoever - no formal worship, no ritual, nothing except prayers and meditation. I belonged to that kind of family. My Mother and Father A matter of personal note I should also tell you: My father, late Sri K. Bappayya did his MA in English literature, MSc honours in physics, BEd diploma in library science. He was an outstanding student and a gold medallist. He retired as the Deputy Director of Higher Education. Then there is my mother: I want to tell you two points in this connection. In those days, it was a matter of sin for a girl to go to school or to college. No woman had any higher education - none. Every girl got married below the age of eight. That was the horrible situation of the society here in this country. My grandfather, being a Brahmo Samaj reformer and missionary, had my mother educated up to the post-graduate degree, MA English literature from Queen Mary’s College, Madras. She was the gold medallist in English literature in the former Madras State. When my mother used to go off to college, it seems that most of the people came out of their houses and watched her proceed into the college. They condemned my grandfather, as he was the man who sent a daughter off like this. That was the condition then. The fact is that she was the first lady graduate from the state of Andhra Pradesh. (Applause) She retired as the District Education Officer. My father is no more, but my mother is eighty-six, still hale and healthy, a very honest officer. (Applause) Naturally, there are very few Brahmo Samaj families today. We are three brothers and a sister, so it was difficult to get us married to those belonging to the Brahmo Samaj. It was not easy because we do not have enough Brahmo families. However, there was some attraction because the Brahmo Samaj does not accept or approve of any dowry. That was a matter of attraction for perspective brides to visit us. (Laughter) So there was no dowry and only a few people there to offer their daughters in marriage to all three of the brothers. Some of that was the only incentive for them, and somehow, by God's Grace, we got married. (Laughter) Or else it would not have been possible! It really is a matter of surprise when I look at my only three wedding photos. I see my mother-inlaw with a long face and my father-in-law with no cheer on his face. They look very worried about their daughter. This girl would be stepping into a family where there is no worship, where there is no Pooja, no Rama or Krishna pictures. ‘Is she going to live or not? What are these fellows going to do?’ I read that _expression on their faces. Even today, I amuse myself by looking at the photographs taken in those days.

My College Days I very well remember my college days. One day I attended a thread ceremony, upanayanam, of one of my classmates. It was lunchtime and suddenly word was sent to me, "You’ll be served food on the veranda." (Laughter) Everyone else could fit inside. The only reason for this was that I happened to be the son and grandson of Brahmo Samaj followers, who don’t believe in idolatry, who don’t have a thread ceremony, who don’t observe the caste system, who believed in reforms, who believed in woman’s emancipation. So they said, "You’ll have your food on the veranda." I was studying SLC at that time, in 1957. Immediately I said, "Don’t take the trouble of serving the food on the veranda. I’ll have my food at home." That’s one thing I very much remember. Since then, I have never visited their home. I also remember another incident of one of my classmates who celebrated Sita Rama Kalyana, the holy wedding of Rama and Sita. It is performed annually by some of the families. I went there. When they served special sweets and other items, they asked me to go on the veranda, saying they were serving food to me outside the house. I said, "Please keep it for yourself, thank you very much." I left the house. Then I started to imagine the face of my parents. If that was the situation in the 1950’s, you can imagine the position in the 1930’s. Both grandfathers were not allowed by their parents to be with them because they did not approve of idolatry of anything whatsoever. That was my position in those days. Somehow things went on like that. My Wife’s Operation and Temple Visits To cut the story short, in the year 1970, we had a problem. I have four children. They are all happily married and well settled, but in those days, in 1970, the eldest was seven years old, while the youngest was a few months old. My wife had a problem. People said that she had developed an ulcer on the uterus. I consulted about seven doctors all over Guntur, some of who were returning from foreign countries. I spent a lot of money to have a second opinion, a third opinion -- like that, repeated opinions. Everyone said that she must be operated upon immediately because the ulcer might turn into cancer. That’s what they said. Even professors of gynecology said the same thing. It was a hot summer. Left with no option, I got her operated on and it was a success. Later she was psychologically upset. She felt that something was wrong with her; and she could not eat anything, but only drink buttermilk, that’s all. She said that she felt a burning sensation. Therefore, I took her to about thirteen doctors, all over Guntur. Today whenever I meet a doctor, he says, "How is your wife?" I feel very much embarrassed. I wish that I could avoid all these doctors because in those days, that situation had become the talk of the town. All of them said, "She’s fine. Nothing is wrong with her." We became a laughing stalk to our own parents. "When doctors say nothing’s wrong with her, why is she complaining of burning sensation and why is she unable to eat anything?" At that time someone said, "Why don’t you take her to a temple?" As Brahmo Samaj’s do not visit temples, what could we do? Then I told her, "Since you come from a traditional orthodox Brahmin family, and as I am a democrat, I don’t mind taking you to the temple." (Laughter) So everyday we used to visit a temple, accompanied by our four children. There was one condition -- I would always remain outside the temple. She would go inside. I didn’t want to be transformed or converted! (Laughter) I wanted to stick to my own guns. She was quite happy that she was going to the temple everyday. I made my children play there and I played with them. That was my part during that time. "Why Don’t We Go To Puttaparthi?"

Finally, one day when we were returning, we heard some Bhajans somewhere. My wife said, "Why don’t we go there?" Immediately we went there and heard Bhajans. For the first time, I saw Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba’s photo. I had not seen His picture before. I had only heard about Him. In college I used to speak -- not positively – about Bhagawan. In fact, one day a girl was wearing a locket with Bhagawan’s picture, so I sent her out of class! "You have no business having Baba’s picture in my class." (Laughter) And, when a student wore a ring, I asked him to get out of the classroom, I used to say, "Don’t ask me important questions for the examination because I'm not Sathya Sai Baba." In addition, if anybody came with a mop of hair, I used to joke, "Would you like to imitate Sai Baba?" (Laughter) In those days, that was my pitiable, shameful, meaningless prejudice and bias, an inexcusable, unpardonable frame of mind. After attending the Bhajan, my wife said, "Why don’t we go to Puttaparthi?" (Laughter) The family that does not approve of Rama, Krishna or Venkateswara, now we are to go to Puttaparthi! It was something like the boon that Kaika asked from Dasaratha, which eventually lead to Dasaratha’s death. (Laughter) I said, "You have been so good until now. I don’t know why you have become Kaika. How can I take you to Puttaparthi? Impossible! My parents won't approve." I came from a joint family, where parents and grandparents all live together. "They won’t approve. " She said, "Would you like me to survive or not? Can you give me a guarantee that you will take care of these four children, thank you?" (Laughter) Then I started shivering in my shoes. I said, "All right, I’ll take you, but on two conditions. The first is that you do not ask me to go into Prashanthi Nilayam. The other is that you don’t ask me to do Namaskar to Baba. (Laughter) Point one, don’t force me to go into Prashanthi Nilayam; point two, never ask me to do Namaskar to Baba." Another situation was that I taught at a Christian college, where it was very difficult to get personal leave. The Lutheran Church in America sponsors the college, where I had served for twenty-six long years. They were a very strict and very disciplined institution. It was impossible to get personal leave. So I made another condition. I told her, "I can only give you four days. Beyond that, I'm not going to stay. Better you stay, that’s all." Somehow we came to an agreement. There is only a gap of one year between us, so she understood that I was just compromising to find a solution. That was the situation. So we came here! Really, I did not step into Prashanthi Nilayam during all those days. I stayed away, that’s all, making the children play. That was my condition. I did not want to displease my parents and grandparents. They were staunch followers of the Brahmo faith and they had sacrificed their lives. Their parents and society had forsaken them. I was their son; I could not betray them. At lunchtime, my wife and I would have heated arguments, as in the Parliament. She always used to say, "What is wrong if you come and sit?"

I said, "You said ‘Yes’ at home. (Laughter) Why don’t you keep the promise you gave me? Don’t do this!" (Laughter) "No, no, you can sit!" "No, no, I won't sit." This was the heated discussion, morning and evening, everyday. I Did Namaskar to Him On the final day, I was to leave here to go home. I was standing with our four kids near the Gopuram gate, which is now closed. In those days, the Gopuram gate was always kept open. I was standing with the children at the gate. It was Bhajan time. Swami was seated in a chair in the Bhajan hall. Suddenly He left His chair and walked towards me, the whole way. (Laughter) He stood in front of me. I felt like running away! (Laughter) I stared and, praying to the formless, attributeless God, asked that He make Swami leave -- that was my silent prayer. However, Swami stood in front of me and just looked at me from top to bottom, "Hmm," Swami said, and then left. I did not do any Namaskar at all. (Laughter) Good! That was the agreement – we can't break the agreement! Swami went back and sat. While Bhajans were going on, I kept standing in the same spot. Again, Swami came down and walked towards me, all the distance, which does not usually happen. He stood in front of me and did not leave until I did Namaskar. (Laughter and applause) He did not leave that place at all. What was I to do? Hopelessly, with hands shivering and folded most unwillingly -- but out of fear, nothing to do with love or devotion -- it just happened like that! Or I should say, Bhagawan saw to it that I did Namaskar to Him. He did not leave until then. As He was walking away, suddenly a plate appeared in His hands with laddus. Ay-ree! I saw Him just walking like that. I was wondering, "Where did the plate come from? Who gave Him the plate with laddus?" Then He started distributing those laddus to some of the laborers working there. It was during the construction of the Poornachandra Auditorium and He distributed laddus to everybody. Then I thought, "More than You, Your laddus will be helpful to my children. (Laughter) They would like them very much." Well, I didn’t have any faith in Him, but let me see, I had total faith in laddus! (Laughter) I knew the taste of them. So, along with the children, I went there. But when the last laddu was given to the last worker, the plate vanished. That was the first miracle I experienced. "Why Don’t You Call Me?" The next morning around 10:30 AM, I went to catch the bus. I was sitting by the station. A man, whom I had never met before, by the name of Naidu, introduced himself. He said, "I am the Headmaster of Eswaramma High School." I said to myself, ‘So what if you are the Headmaster or Director! How am I concerned? I'm waiting for my bus. I must go.’ I was also feeling within myself, "Oh God, You have been picking out people for an interview. Why don’t You call me? Why not? I am in no way a rowdy. I'm not a bank robber. I'm not a reactionary. I'm not a Naxalite - I'm not a man of violence. Besides, my parents and grandparents are very great. I'm trying to live up to their expectations, though I am sure I can never equal and excel them for a lifetime. But, I know this -- I should not bring a bad name to them. That is enough. Why don’t You call me?" That was my feeling.

Then this man said, "Anil Kumar, are you feeling sad that Swami is not calling you?" I did not tell him anything. (Laughter) Then I thought, ‘Prashanthi Nilayam as a place is sufficiently dangerous, and fellows like this are much more dangerous. (Laughter) Better I leave this place!’ That’s what I thought. Then the man said slowly, "Please don’t go. Sit down; sit down. Don’t feel sorry for not being called for an interview. Swami calls many people. Some Naxalites, men of violence, from Calcutta were given an interview. Why an interview is given is best known to Him. One patient is just asked to go home and another patient is operated on. It does not mean that the doctor loves only the fellow on whom he operates. No, no, no! One patient requires an operation, while another patient just requires some liquid, some mixture. That’s all. Baba knows what is best. Don’t worry." That’s what he said. I also suspected that he might come out with some other statements because my brain was full of dirt and dust, which should not be shared with anybody. So, "Thank you, sir," I said and I left that place. After leaving him, I began looking at a Swami book, Sathya Sai Speaks, Volume V. While I was reading two talks, I became very much interested. Immediately, I purchased the whole set of books that were available at that time. I think there was up to Sathya Sai Speaks, Volume XII then. After I returned home. Back home, believe me, my wife’s health picked up. She was perfect, hale and healthy - no complaints thereafter. It took just a mere visit to Prashanthi, that’s all. (Applause) No interview, no smile, no conversation, nothing -- and with her husband, this bloke, totally negative! Laughter) Totally negative, that was my position. Anyway, she was all right and I started reading Sai literature. I was Just a First Class Student Here I should tell you that I never got less than 60% in my subjects throughout my student career. I took care to see that they would not be less than 60, and they have taken care to see they would not exceed 70! (Laughter) So I was always between 60 and 70, that’s all. I never stood first in the class. I never got any gold medal - no, no, no, I was not an outstanding student, just a first class student - 65, 68, that’s all. That was my student career. But right from childhood through high school level, college level and university level, I always stood first in inter-collegiate, inter-university elocution competitions --debating competitions. I always stood first there, but in study -- only first class, that’s all. Otherwise my parents wouldn’t allow me to participate in elocution. They would say, "Unless you get first class, we won't send you to compete." So, I did it only for that fulfillment. I was very much interested in public speaking right from childhood. That was my condition. Later, after completing my MSc degree, my mother wanted me to be a class one IAS officer, but I did not apply. I did not fill out the application. My mother wanted me to at least be a radio announcer. I did not do that! She wanted me to become a bank officer. I did not apply! I told her, "Mother, I want to be a teacher.” She said, "I don’t want you to be a teacher because your parents and grandparents, all of us are teachers. We want to have some officer now. I don’t want you to do that.” But I said, "I want to be teacher." So she could not help it. I Became a Teacher When my mother went to some place on inspection and my father was also out-of-station, I got the job and began immediately. I did not want to face them and have them say ‘no’ to me. By the time they returned from their camps, they saw me getting ready to go to the college. It was too late and somehow they compromised.

But my friends, I tell you that I have no regrets for having become a teacher. Given a chance, in the next life I also want to become a teacher. (Applause) The reason is that the ‘bank account’ is the heart of my student. The ‘entries in my passbook’ are the feelings of love and affection that my students have towards me. I have completed forty years as a teacher. I have no regrets. I love this profession. Just for a change, my younger brother became a doctor and my mother was happy. But then that fellow became a professor of pathology and principal of a medical college. (Laughter) Then my mother wanted at least the son-in-law of the family to be an engineer from an institute of technology. But he became a professor of mechanical engineering at an engineering institute of technology. So what is destined, no one can change. The entire family had the genes for teaching, that’s all. We cannot help it. When my grandfather wanted me to become a Brahmo Samaj missionary, my mother said, "Nothing doing. He should be a normal householder. We have seen you suffer from this. Please leave our son like this." But no one can say what is in store for us. I became a Sathya Sai Samaj missionary right from 1972. (Applause) Who can stop it? Later my mother wrote an article in a magazine: "What I never wanted happened in this fellow’s case." That is destiny. We cannot change it. I Was a Non-Entity for Eight Years. As things went on, (I'm telling you my friends, please believe me) for eight years Bhagawan never looked at me - no smiles, no Padnamaskar and no interview. I was miles away from Him. I always got in row thirty through thirty-five! (Laughter) Because of my speaking ability -- I should say speaking -- which was a virtue at one time, later became a vice. Even then (as now), I went on speaking a lot and some of the office-bearers became acquainted with me. Then, when I had just managed to sit in the front row or third row by maneuvering, manipulating and managing the people there because of my familiarity and acquaintance with them, Bhagawan used to completely cancel Darshan towards that wing! (Laughter) Other times, if I managed to sit where He came, He would see everybody except me. "Get up, get up," He would say to others. It was as if I was in a vacuum. I was a non-entity, a non-existence - not even the size of a mosquito or an ant! (Laughter) He used to call everybody. This type of ‘Divine Romance’ went on for eight long years, I tell you! In those days, many people used to ask me, "When Swami does not look at you, when He does not talk to you, why do you keep coming like this?" I said, "We are teachers. If a fellow fails in a March examination, he will appear for a supplementary September examination. (Laughter) He’ll get through then. So, He may not talk to me now. But what if next life we will meet?" All through that time, this is what I was feeling. After eight long years, during Dasara a sudden message was sent that Swami wanted me. "Anil Kumar should come to the Auditorium immediately." ‘Why?’ Well, I have my own luggage. I have my own worth, not anyone else’s. ‘There is no reason to call me all of a sudden. How does He know me? Baba, how do You know me? First, is it this Anil Kumar or somebody else?’ (Laughter) So I went there and the Sevadal told me to sit in the front row. Swami came! He looked at everybody except me! (Laughter) I see! Okay, as usual, eight years! "Once bitten, twice shy." Okay, that’s how I felt. Then I went to Kasturi’s house to seek his clarification, "Sir, is it true that I was wanted here?"

He said, "Yes." "How is it that Bhagawan did not look at me?" "I do not know." Either he must be bluffing, or I must be under misapprehension, or my destiny must have been like that. Anantapur Campus Somehow, utterly disappointed, telling myself, ‘Anyway, it doesn’t matter’, I just returned and participated in a Ramayana seminar in Hindupur, very close to this district. After participating in Hindupur, I wanted Bhagavan’s Darshan, so I came to Puttaparthi. Suddenly, as I was coming on the bus, I saw Swami’s car going in the opposite direction. The driver said, "Sir, Swami is leaving for Anantapur." ‘Oh-ho! Swami, so far You have avoided me. Now You are avoiding Puttaparthi also. (Laughter) I'm so great as to make You move and shift, very good!’ (Laughter) I see. Then I thought, ‘I should also go to Anantapur.’ I got off this bus and got on another bus. I requested this driver to stop the bus near the Anantapur Campus College gate. I had no idea about Swami’s institutions and Swami’s discipline. I had no idea at all. I got out there and the gateman said, "Who are you?" What am I to say? I have no answer. I simply said, "I want to see Baba." He said, "Impossible." "Why?" "This is a girls’ college." (Laughter) "Ah, so what? I have not come here to see girls. I have come to see Swami! (Laughter) So there are girls! It doesn’t matter. I want to see Swami. I teach at a Christian college, where we have two thousands girls. I can see them there. It is not necessary to come here. Why?" (Laughter) What he said made me conclude that the Anantapur Girls’ College would not permit even a male mosquito to get in, (Laughter) let alone a man! That’s what I understood. Then the gateman said that somehow his heart melted watching my pitiable face. Perhaps, he was sympathetic. He said, "Put your luggage there and stand here. If you move even an inch, I’ll throw you out." (Laughter) This much was good. I was standing there. By that time, Bhagawan had completed the governing body meeting at the Anantapur campus. The members of the governing body happened to be V.K. Gokak, Mr. Craxi (a well-known Italian devotee), the late Dr. Bhagavantham, and S. Naidu - great people in those days, great scholars. "Anil Kumar, Come Here!" Swami came along with all the people, proceeding towards the dining hall. He stood there on the veranda and shouted, "Anil Kumar, come here!" (Laughter) It was the first time, and after eight (long) years. Then I thought, ‘It must be the name of the watchman and not my name.’ (Laughter) So I asked the man next to me, "Hey, is your name ‘Anil Kumar’?" "Oh no, sir. No, I'm not ‘Anil Kumar’." Then I didn’t want to take the chance. So I kept quiet.

Then Swami shouted, "Oh professor, come here! Come here, Anil Kumar!" There was not another person there, and the guard was not a professor, I was sure. (Laughter) ‘Swami must be meaning me!’ So, I went running all the way. Bhagawan introduced me to everybody. "He’s a professor in botany from a Christian college. Last night he gave a lecture in Hindupur and many people participated. His talk was very well received by everybody - men, women and children." He went on giving details of my speech. ‘What happened to You, Swami, all these eight years?’ (Laughter) When You can repeat verbatim the highlights, the important points, from my talk, why did You not look at me earlier?’ I could not reconcile that feeling - it was so bad. Immediately He materialized Vibhuthi, gave it to me and said, "Give it to your wife. She’ll be all right. She brought you here." (Applause) Accommodation Inside Then He said, "Come and attend Dasara." I had never wanted to attend Dasara. I was not sure of accommodation. I didn’t know what to say. So I said, "Dasara, Swami?" "Yes, Dasara," He said. So, I attended the Dasara festival. Because I could not get accommodation inside, I stayed in a room outside the Mandir. In those years, the rooms outside had no doors and no windows (Laughter). They were all collapsible, replaceable doors (Laughter) -- everything was like an open-air university system. (Laughter) Open air, that’s all. So, oh, I see. One had to sleep in tune to the lullaby -- the music – of the mosquitoes. Plus there were no fans there. Then at 4:30 in the morning, for twenty-five paise, they would supply hot water. Then that was the rate. Somehow, I went on like that. After three days, Bhagawan came close and said, "Where are you staying?" "I'm staying outside." "Why? Stay inside." "Inside where? Who will give me an accommodation? Where, Swami?" "Inside! Don’t you understand Me?" ‘Inside? Inside the Mandir or what?’ I had no idea. Then I said, "Swami, I paid in advance to that man." (Laughter) "No, No, No! You go to that man and ask him to return the advance. He’ll give it to you. Don’t worry. You say My name, that’s all," Baba said. I didn’t know about these things then. "Oh Swami, will he return the money? In this Kali Yuga, who will return money?" (Laughter) "No, No, No! They will give it to you. Go and tell them," He said. "It’s all right." "Ah, Swami, You said, ‘inside.’ Where is inside?" Then Swami called Kutumba Rao, who was there at that time, and said, "Kutumba Rao, give him accommodation immediately. I am telling you that whenever he comes here, give him accommodation totally free-of-cost." (Applause) Since then, I have never paid money for my accommodation. That was a permanent agreement between the Divine and me. (Laughter) I love it! Give a Talk

One day it was Durgashtami. Swami called me and said, "You give a talk." I see. "When?" He told me in the morning. As I was about to get up, "No, No, not now! In the evening," He said. (Laughter) Oh, I see! In the evening, I went there and stood. Two of Swami’s students spoke ahead of me and then I gave a talk. Somehow, it was to my satisfaction. Next morning Swami came and said, "It was a very nice talk. Everybody liked it. I’ll give you another chance on Vijayadasami. This time you speak in Telugu," He said. "Okay Swami, by Your Grace." On Vijayadasami Day, again He asked me to speak in Telugu. It also went well and Swami said to everybody, "This boy has learnt Swami’s literature and he can speak in English and in Telugu fluently." He was speaking to them about me. ‘Swami, why can't You tell me directly? (Laughter) When I'm here, I don’t feel happy. Wouldn’t I feel happy if You talked to me? What is all this ‘romance’? There should be a limit to it!’ But He was talking to them about me. All the while, He didn’t look at me. See the romance? This is how it happened! ‘All right,’ I thought. ‘This is the procedure of this God. We have to fit in, reconcile and adjust. He won't adjust according to my demands. OK, thank You!’ The next morning, I was about to leave this place. Suddenly some men said to me, "No, no, no! You should inform Swami before you go." "Inform Swami and then go? No, no, that’s not possible because I'm sure to lose my job. For eight years, I never informed Him. He never looked at me. Don’t force me to do that now. I have no property. Please let me go." "No, no, you should inform Swami," one man said. "Oh, where do I inform, where?" He said, "You go sit on the veranda." ‘Veranda! That heaven - that’s unthinkable! (Laughter) Not in this lifetime, no, no, no! Or, onto the road with you! That’s all impossible. Then too, the Delhi Sevadal are in charge of the whole thing.’ (Delhi people, you know, have well-built bodies -- they eat wheat and all that. They are unlike Southern people, who eat sambhar and rice. Not that, no! The North people are strong people because of the wheat – they are well-built.) ‘Who will allow me to go there? What do I do?’ They were holding their arms like this. (Anil Kumar demonstrates by placing his arms across his chest). While they were like this, what did I do? I just ran! Whoooooosh! (Laughter) I ran there and sat on the veranda. ‘They can't pull me out now because this is a safe zone. (Laughter) It is a Divine, protected area - nobody can come!’ You Are a Pundit When Swami came, He called me into the interview room and gave me an envelope. I put it in my pocket. I didn’t know what it was. Then He said, "Get a new dress for the Birthday," I said, "Swami, my birthday is October 25th." Swami said, "Not your birthday! (Laughter) MY Birthday!" Then I said, "Swami, why should I get a new dress for YOUR Birthday? (Laughter) Why?" "Chi, chi, chi! You don’t know anything!" "I see! All right!"

"In that envelope, there is enough money to have two dresses - one for your birthday and one for My Birthday. (Laughter) All the money is there. It is enough for the stitching charges; is it all right?" Oh, I see. Now I understand. So I returned. During the next year’s Dasara, again Swami asked me to give a talk. At the end of the talk, He called me upstairs in the Mandir. Upstairs! In those days, there were winding steps, so I climbed them and waited for Swami. Suddenly He called me and gave me a silk dhoti as pundits wear. I don’t wear dhotis or anything like that. "Swami, silk dhotis! Why for me? No, no, no! They’re given to pundits." "Since you are a pundit, I want to honour you." "Since when?" (Laughter) "Since you gave a talk here, you are now a pundit." "Oh, I see Swami." Then He gave me a shawl. "Shawl, Swami, why? No, No, No, a shawl is given to scholars." Oh, I see. He said, "You don’t understand anything." Then He gave me a safari suit. "This is the dress for a special occasion," He went on explaining. Propagate the Message of Sai Then my friends, with a great sense of satisfaction, gratitude and thankfulness, I tell you this: He kept both of His Hands on my head and said: "Go all over the State of Andhra Pradesh and propagate the message of Sai -- talk to the devotees." That was the blessing He gave me. (Applause) Since then, I never spent any Sunday, any festival day or any vacation at home. I toured to about a thousand Sai centers all over Andhra Pradesh. On the average, I must have visited every center at least thrice, spreading over a period of twenty years. I went all over the State. During that time, I never purchased any provision with these hands and I never took care of my children. I did nothing because I was the ‘Minister of Sai External Affairs’. That’s all. (Applause) I'm really grateful to Bhagawan: He has given me enough strength and courage through my wife, who could manage the children and could serve my parents and grandparents. The credit for the family’s success is entirely, totally, wholly, purely and religiously hers. I have acclaimed the platform performance, whereas the home affairs, that goes to her. Let me honestly confess that this has been my life since then. Swami has given me a number of chances to talk in the Poornachandra Auditorium every year, twice or thrice. In the year 1989, Swami suddenly sent a message that I should come to Bangalore, Whitefield College to serve as the Principal. I stayed in Bangalore, Whitefield College as the Principal for six years. Then, during His 70th Birthday Celebration in 1995, Bhagawan transferred me to Prashanthi Nilayam. I have been spending all these days here since. I'm very grateful to Bhagawan for all the wonderful experiences that He has given me because that will go on and on for any length of time. In brief, this is how I came to Bhagawan. Before I pass on to Part Two of this morning’s talk, I again want to thank you for your patient listening. I thank Bhagawan for having brought me to His Lotus Feet. My only prayer is that some day, when I am to leave this body, I should leave speaking like this and not on a bed, no! (Applause) I want to leave this body while talking to people, while sharing the joy of Sai’s message, that’s all. That is my only prayer, nothing more!

I pray for Bhagawan to bless me. I pray that all of you bless me, so that I’ll have many more occasions of sharing the Divine message, His mission and Leelas with everybody in the years to come. (Applause) Not to Put Personal Questions I shall not break my promise to answer some of the questions that I received, some of the questions that were sent to me. A formal request has been made to our friends not to ask personal questions. Questions which are of general use, questions which are of common interest, questions which would help us to grow spiritually are welcome, but not personal questions. I received some personal questions: "We want to go to Canada. Will Swami permit us or not? Please find out from Him." (Laughter) Nobody can find this out for you from Swami! Then somebody said, "We want to settle in Australia, but my wife says ‘no’. My son says ‘yes’. What does Swami want me to do? Find out from Bhagawan." (Laughter) We don’t need to find out from Bhagawan! All of you need to meet and settle the matter between yourselves and Swami. I request you again not to ask personal questions. I have no solution to my own personal problems. (Laughter) How can I give you a solution to your problems? Impossible! Here everyone has a head-load of problems. Who am I to give a solution to you? I am not competent enough to give you any solution to your problems and I would not take the Divine risk of bringing these problems to Swami’s notice. That would be the last and final day. Well, that I don’t want to happen. (Laughter) Kindly bear with me and do not ask such questions. No personal questions! "Are Baba and Jesus the Same?" Here is one question: "I am a follower of Jesus Christ. Are Baba and Jesus the same? Or is this form the Christian concept of the Trinity?" The answer is simple. Bhagawan said, "All names are Mine. All forms are Mine. I respond to your prayers that are offered to Me in any name, in any form. I’ll answer your prayers. Let the prayers be said to the God of your choice; they will reach Me. You may pray to Rama, Krishna, Jesus or Allah - all those prayers will reach Me." "Swami, how? When I say Rama, how does it reach You?" Swami gave this example: "You may write a letter to somebody in England or USA or Delhi or Hyderabad. When the letter is put in the letterbox or post box, it will reach the addressee. Similarly all your prayers come to Me. Don’t worry, because I am in all forms. All forms are Mine. All names are Mine," said Bhagawan. Jesus is no exception. I’ll give you one instance. A doctor from Rome came here as a participant and delegate for the International Cardiac Conference held in Prashanthi Nilayam. Catholicism is very rigid, very strict. He was doing his daily prayer to Jesus and going through the scriptures. He was given accommodation in the North buildings. One day before dinner, while he was reading the scripture and meditating on Jesus Christ, suddenly he noticed a hand lying on his shoulder. He looked back and saw Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. Now he says, "Baba and Christ are one and the same. This I declare at the cost of my reputation, at the cost of my Catholic faith. My relatives and friends may forsake me, but I declare that Baba and Christ are one and the same." Baba is the Cosmic Christ. Bhagawan is everyone for that matter, Sarva Devata Swarupa. He represents all deities, all gods -- that is the answer I can give you. "Why Should I Suffer Now From Previous Karma?"

Then I received another question. "It is said that, due to one’s karma carried from previous births, he or she suffers in the present birth. Because of our past karma, we are suffering in the present life. In my humble belief, to suffer one should know what he or she has done. Why not suffer in the present birth for the current karma instead of it being put off till the next birth?" Very good! "Why should I suffer my karma now from a previous lifetime?" What did Bhagawan say? My friends, these answers are picked from Sai literature only. They are not based on my imagination because I'm not capable of it. I'm supported by Sai literature. If I run short of answers, I’ll seek your forgiveness on the matter. I don’t bluff, no! What does Swami say about this karma aspect? He said, "Some actions give immediate results." Suppose there is a cut here. (He shows his finger.) When you are sharpening your pencil and the blade cuts your skin by mistake, what happens? It bleeds immediately. It is a reaction - a result of the action then and there! You drink milk and you don’t feel hungry anymore - for an hour anyway. When you take food, you don’t feel hungry for four hours. For hunger to return, it requires four hours. So, some actions cause immediate results, while some actions call for an hour or four hours. If you sow the seed now, you can have mango fruits next year. Why next year? That’s all. For the seed to germinate, for the seed to sprout, for the tree to grow, for the seed to bear fruit, it will take a long time. Similarly, some actions give immediate results. Some actions give result leisurely, slowly. That is how we have to understand karma. "What Is ‘Bad Company’?" There’s another question put to me. "What about the company we keep? What is ‘good company’? What is ‘bad company’? What if I am fooling myself?" Good, we often do that! They want a definition. What is ‘good company’ and what is ‘bad company’? It is a very clear question. To Sai devotees, let us be sure of the answer. What is good company? Good company is the kind that will keep us holding onto His Lotus Feet. Good company is that which will strengthen our faith. Good company is that which will encourage us to do service. Good company is that which will draw us closer to His mission. Good company is that which will help us to withstand the bumps and jumps in life. Good company is that which will help us not to have too much attachment to money and family. That is good company. The company which will help you to run away from here, the company which will cause you to lose your faith, the company which will make you go to anybody, anywhere, anytime for any reason, the company which will make you depressed and frustrated, the company which will turn you into being an atheist, a non-believer, is horrible, terrible, bad company. Being in good company, we find Satsang. ‘Satsang’ means good company. Bhagawan gave a few examples. The sand in the company of air will go up. The sand in the company of water will go down. Similarly, in the company of noble people, we come up in life – our paths are noble. In bad company, our thoughts are negative. That is bad company. Beware of bad company. Baba said, "Run away from bad company." Tyaja Durjana Samsargam. Bhaja Sadhu Samagamam. Be in good company. Run away from bad company. Smara Nityam Anityatham Think of what is temporary, what is permanent. Kuru Karma Ahorathram Do good deeds day-in and day-out.

These are the dictates of Bhagawan. These are the teachings of Swami. The people who will help us to proceed in this direction constitute good company. The Inner Voice We have another question: "How does a person know if the voice inside is God?" A very good question! How do you know if it is the ‘inner voice’? Point one is that the inner voice is independent; whereas the voice of psychology - the reflection of psychology, meaning the preferences and choices, the likes and dislikes of the mind, are never independent. The psychology - the reflection of psychology, the preferences and the choices, the likes and the dislikes of the mind - all of these are never independent. Here is a simple example: "I want to go to a cinema to see a picture." That is from the mind. "Don’t go to the picture." That is the inner voice. Am I clear? Suppose I want to have a bottle of Scotch whiskey. That is the mind. "If you drink, don’t come to Puttaparthi." That is the inner voice. (Laughter) "I want to enjoy the weekend in Miami Beach, why not! In a Holiday Inn, we can enjoy ourselves." That is the mind "Don’t go there! Go to a Sai Centre." That is the inner voice. The inner voice is not ambiguous -- it gives no scope for doubt. It is straight. It has nothing to do with your preferences, your likes or choices. It is always direct. It doesn’t give you an option like, "Do this or that." "Shall I go to this place or that?" "No, No! Stop and be here, that’s all." So, the inner voice is very clear. It gives you no scope for choice. The inner voice is instructive. The inner voice is affirmative. The inner voice is not ambiguous. The inner voice is independent. The inner voice comes from the Love centre. The inner voice is Truth-based. The inner voice is peace-directed. The inner voice is non-violent. The inner voice is based on all these values. The inner voice is Divine. The inner voice is spiritual. The inner voice is the conscience, nothing less than that. That is the answer. How does a person know what is right action? What is right action? To quote Bhagawan: See what is good. Don’t see what is bad. Hear what is good. Hear no evil. Do no evil. Do what is good. Think no evil. Think what is good. See no evil. See what is good. This is right action. This is the way to God. So right action is service; right action is selfless; right action is holy; right action is Divine. Right action should be our life goal. That is the answer to this question. "Why Is a Person Born and Born Again?" Here is another question: "Why does a person die and die again? Then he’s born and born again. Why does this happen?" The answer is simple. There is a simple meaning from Sai literature. Individually, it is impossible for us to answer. We are reborn again and again - why? We aren’t able to come out of the cycle of birth and death - why? Why birth? Why death? Birth and death are due to thoughts or Sankalpa. Thoughts and counter-thoughts are responsible for our birth and rebirth. When we are thoughtless, when the mind is withdrawn, when the ego is

totally gone, when there is no thinking process, when we turn inward, when we experience the soul, the spirit, the consciousness, we are not born again. Because we don’t experience the ‘conscience’, we don’t experience the ‘consciousness’. We are attached to our thought. We are attached to our body. We are attached to our ego. Therefore, we are reborn again and again. I think I'm clear. Another point is that, truly speaking; there is no birth and no death. There is no birth; there is no death. The one born is the body; the one dying is the body. But the ‘I’ is still there. A simple example: I remove this bulb here. Does this mean there is no current? There is still a current, but the bulb gave an _expression to the current by shedding light. Once the bulb is taken out, there still is a current! Similarly, you and I exist as current. The body is the bulb. Whether the body is there or not, the current is still there. Similarly, there is no birth; there is no death. It is only changing the dress, the nightgown, the evening gown, the swimsuit, or the golf dress, that’s all, right? Therefore, we change our dress, but the ‘I’ remains the same. Truly there’s no birth and no death whatsoever. Examples of Reaction, Reflection, and Resound My friends, I'm happy to receive all these questions. There is one last question today. "Can you give some examples of reaction, reflection, and resound?" We have any number of examples. Stand in front of the mirror -- it is reflection. If I stand in front of the mirror, I see my own reflection. But there is philosophy behind it. The object is God; the mirror is nature. The reflection is the individual, the main object is Divine. The mirror is the world; the mirror is nature. That is the example for reflection. Second, reaction: Because of good thoughts, a positive mind, we have positive results. Swami was telling us the other day, "If you love everyone, God will love you. If you serve everyone, you will be served. See the reaction! If you hate everyone, everyone will hate you. If you love all, everyone will love you." So this is reaction. As is the action, so is the reaction. Then, resound: If I am here and shout, "Sai, Sai!" I get the same sound, "Sai Sai." "Sai, Sai," I get the same resound. That’s what Baba said. If you say ‘yes’, Baba will say ‘yes’. If you say ‘no’, you’ll get the answer ‘no’. ‘Yes’, ‘no’, belong to you; but Swami says, ‘Yes, Yes!’ "Swami, I want to die now." "Yes, Yes!" (Laughter) "Swami, I got my leg fractured." "Yes, Yes, very good!" (Laughter) "Swami, my grandmother died." "Nice, Yes, Yes, Yes!" "I want to get married." "Yes, Yes, Yes!" "I don’t want to marry." "Yes, Yes, Yes!" (Laughter) This is resound. These are all examples of reaction, reflection and resound. Thank you very much for being with us this morning!

May Bhagawan be with you forever and ever! Thank you! (Applause) Jai Bolo Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Ji Ki Jai! Om Asato Maa Sad Gamaya Tamaso Maa Jyotir Gamaya Mrtyormaa Amrtam Gamaya Om Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu Om Shanti Shanti Shanti Jai Bolo Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Ji Ki Jai! Jai Bolo Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Ji Ki Jai! Jai Bolo Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Ji Ki Jai! Thank You! ***** Om Sri Sai Ram PROF. ANIL KUMAR’S INSPIRATIONAL TALKS - II Anil Kumar's Sunday Satsang at Prashanthi Nilayam - December 8, 2002 OM… OM… OM…Sai Ram. With Pranams at the Lotus Feet of Bhagawan, Dear Brothers and Sisters! Sharing Some More Experiences Today I’ll divide my talk into two sections. In the first section, due to the request of some friends, I’ll share with you more of my experiences. In the second part, we’ll have questions and answers. It was back on the 25th of October that I shared with you Part One of my personal experiences. I thought that was the end of the matter. But I have received a series of letters and demands, (Laughter) saying that you want to know more of my personal experiences. Really, I love to do it, except for the simple fact that I'm afraid that people may mistake this as some sort of advertisement or publicity seeking, which I'm totally against. But because of the spiritual pestering from my friends, I’ll share certain experiences with you this morning. As I said in my last lecture on October 25th, I was in a period of ‘exile’, receiving total silence from Bhagawan, without any recognition of this human being by the name of Anil Kumar (Laughter). For seven to eight long years, I was non-existent, a non-entity, and almost in a vacuum wherever I sat. It went on for a very long period - from seven to eight years. Later in the talk on October 25th, I mentioned how things went following this long period of waiting. Very Busy Teaching Students During that long period of waiting, certain things happened mysteriously, which were not understandable, beyond all explanation and expectation. It was the year 1975 when I was very, very busy during the summer teaching. I was preparing students for the medical entrance examination, which is an annual feature. During this period, we make some money too – unaccounted for, so it is all the more welcomed! (Laughter) I was extremely busy preparing students until 10 o’clock at night. The program commenced at 6:30 in the morning, and went on until 10 PM. It depended upon the star value of the person, the

magnitude of attraction and presentation, to the taste of the students. Depending upon the demand, you would be given as much workload as possible. There were times when I taught for 13 hours a day because the star value was such. An Interview Conducted By Rotary International Here it was the last hour, around 9.45 PM or so. Suddenly, I received a message from some of my friends, asking me to appear for an interview at 10 o’clock in the night. What interview I did not know. I said, "I shall meet you afterwards." But they all went and met the Principal, C.V.N. Dhun, of a reputed college by the name of Ravi Tutor College at Guntur. The Principal himself came and said, "I could not risk my reputation when your friends came here. Better you cancel this class and oblige them." Then I asked my friends, "What is it that you want of me?" They said, "An interview is going on. You should appear for that interview." "What interview? What am I supposed to do?" They did not tell me. They pushed me into a big building very close to this college. Finally I found out that it was an interview conducted by Rotary International, which selects a team of five every year to go abroad to study the social and educational aspects of that country. The visiting team is called the Group Study Exchange program, GSE. Under the GSE program, five are selected every year – one representing agriculture, one representing engineering, one representing medicine, one representing education, and so on -- one from each walk of life. Except for the condition that you cannot be related to members of the Rotary Club, it is an open competition. Well, I didn’t have face powder; I had chalk powder instead, having taught until 10 o’clock that night. You can imagine me - my personality - at 10 PM: totally tired, after having taught 13 hours that day. As I could not say ‘no’ to my friends, somehow I went inside. My turn was last, as interviews had started at 8 o’clock. Good! I could say ‘goodbye’ to them and run away from there! Well, when I went in there, the President, who happened to be a doctor, a secretary, and a senior lawyer said, "We don’t have to ask you any questions." "Then why did you call me for an interview?" (Laughter) They said, "It is just a formality. Our children are your students, so you were selected at the regional level." I simply laughed at them, "Oh, things go like that? Okay!" The next morning, they sent me an application form to fill out -- selection first, application next – just the reverse order. (Laughter) That’s how Sai started working in His own way. Going To The Final Interview At Hyderabad Then I was to appear for the final interview in Hyderabad at the Riggs Hotel, one of the prestigious hotels in those days. Later, many other costly hotels were built. But in those days, Riggs was the costliest. Somehow I was tempted to attend the final interview that included contestants from three states. The interview spread over five days. Many people attended. Somehow I simply decided to attend the interview. But I had no time to prepare or read anything because of my tight schedule, teaching botany to my students and preparing them for the medical entrance examination. The

number of seats that my students would get would decide my fate for the next year. (Laughter) Therefore, I had to be very, very careful, and highly competitive. As I sat in the train, which was speeding up towards Hyderabad, I saw many youngsters preparing for the interview. I found out that I was the only married man with four children, while many of the others were eligible bachelors. Anyway, I was just relaxing because there was no investment. There was neither profit nor loss. Since I had not prepared for anything, there was nothing to lose! Having just come into the Sai fold, being in that fresh period, I was humming Sai Bhajans, as most of us do. I never realised that I would be disturbing some of these people who were preparing for the examination. (Laughter) One or two got down from their berths and gave me some books to prepare with. (Laughter) They did not ask me not to sing. In a polite, refined, cultured way, they wanted me to read instead of sing. (Laughter) Maybe it was for two reasons: my voice was not that good, and they could not concentrate. Then I realised my mistake and said, "What are the books you are giving me?" The title of one book was "India, Who is Who?" That book is published every year. It covers all the latest developments in the country, plus national and international coverage of personalities figuring in the newspapers, particularly on the front page. Expecting that questions would be asked on this, some people were preparing. As one chap completed reading that, he passed it on to me. Another man gave me "Manorama", which also covers all the latest developments. Because I was sufficiently matured, I told these gentlemen, "I understand your problem. I am disturbing you. Don’t worry. I have nothing to read because I have never read anything along these lines to prepare for an interview. So why should I read them now? “India Today" (a popular national magazine), India yesterday or India tomorrow, India is India. I have no time to read. Please leave me alone," I said. (Laughter) They were happy with my silence. Anyhow, a cardio-pediatric surgeon, a doctor by the name of Balakrishna Murthi, who deals with the heart ailments of children, was sitting just opposite me along with his daughter. His daughter was staring at me, I didn’t know why. I told her and her father, "I'm not a mad person. (Laughter) I'm not going to bite you. After all, I'm just humming some Sai Bhajans. Don’t be afraid of me." They just laughed Little did she realize that after three or four years, she would become my student. Now she’s happily married and settled in the USA. Even to this day, whenever they happen to see me, they laugh wholeheartedly recalling my comments that I was not a madcap. So, that was the situation. Nothing To Lose Or Gain Another gentleman, an elderly man, very well known to me, came and said, "What is it you are doing? Why don’t you read? I appeared for this interview last year and the year before last. I was not selected. It calls for preparation. Then why are you doing like this?" I told him, "My sister lives in Hyderabad. They sent an invitation, asking me to attend their house-warming function, which I could not attend because of a busy medical entrance-coaching program. Now, in the name of this interview, as a plea, I’ll go and have nothing to lose or gain. Sir, please busy yourself, I pray that you be selected." And thus I silenced him. Then I got ready to appear for the interview. My wedding suit was still so nice in those days (Laughter). I picked up that dark blue-colored suit with an orange-colored shirt, a dark blue tie with stars on it, and well-polished shoes with spray applied. I then went to Hotel Riggs, where I was to appear for the interview. The Questions Put To Them

Many youngsters, after completing their interview, were talking among themselves about the questions they were asked. Because of curiosity, I wanted to know the questions, though I had no answers for any of them. It was the year when India launched a space research project called "Arya Bhatta", which landed a space satellite. People were asked some questions relating to "Arya Bhatta" -- about the launching of this satellite by Indian scientists. I was wondering, "If that question was asked of me, what answer would I give?" A nice big zero! (Laughter) Some other gentleman was asked a question about a treaty between India and the Soviet Union. This was a time when India and the Soviet Union had entered into an agreement. "India, being a non-aligned country, how was it that it could enter into a treaty with the USSR?" That was the question. I didn’t know that there was an agreement at all, let alone justifying it! (Laughter) It was also a time when a very big person, a big black marketer, was arrested. There had been a thorough search all over the country. Ultimately, the government succeeded in arresting him. Some questions were asked about that. I didn’t know such a gunda (bandit) existed, nor did I know about the subsequent arrest of that person. It was also the time of a national emergency declared by Indra Gandhi, who happened to be the Prime Minister. There were some questions on this. "India, being a secular, sovereign, democratic republic, how could a state of emergency (which is not a democratic act) be declared in this country?" Well, emergency or non-emergency, I wasn’t bothered because I just did my duty. I'm the least affected, being a teacher, by emergencies. Maybe those in the field of politics are affected by an emergency. But most of us are employees. We are not at all affected. So there’s nothing to worry about. But I had no answer, if the same question were asked of me. I prayed a silent prayer to Baba: "Swami, see that I'm not exposed to such questions." (Laughter) "Swami, Save me From Insult!" My second prayer was this: "Let them not ask certain questions of general knowledge such as, ‘What is the capital of Norway, of Sweden, of Denmark, of Guatemala, or of Argentina?’ (Laughter) I may not have immediate answers." "Once they know that I am a student of biology, don’t have them ask, ‘Name a frog without a tail. Name the frog with a tail, with a head, and without a head.’ Finally, lifting their eyebrows, I'm afraid they may say, ‘What kind of teacher are you if you do not know these things?’ My job would be in disrepute. I would be defamed, and I’d feel personally insulted if such questions were asked of me." "Swami, save me from that insult and save my job as a professor, so that we will not be a laughing-stalk in the sight of the public, particularly the members of the interview board." Anyway I went and sat relaxed, cross-legged, with my arm on the chair behind, totally free, because I had nothing to lose and nothing to gain. (Laughter) I was fully aware that I was speaking in the Divine Presence of Baba, not only there, but here in your hearts, too. And everything is subject to verification at any moment because Bhagawan is a silent listener to every one of our conversations. I have had many bitter experiences too, in this regard. (Laughter) He gives no scope for any exaggeration or under-estimation, but only statements based on facts and not fiction. All Questions Centered Around Sai Literature Only So, in full understanding of this, I'm telling you -- believe me or not – all the questions were centered only on Sai literature! (Exclamations of "Oh!" from the audience, and applause) That’s all! In my bio-data, there was no mention of Sathya Sai Baba -- nothing whatsoever! Yet all the questions were on Sai literature.

That period I was fresh to the Sai movement, and was very familiar with Sai literature. Going around to every village (in Andhra Pradesh state) in those years, I was quite conversant with the teachings of Sai. So I could answer every question. I think you’ll be interested to know some of those questions. They will be of interest to every one of you. There were 12 members of the Rotary International -- past district governors, who asked these questions, one-by-one. It was something like Abhimanyu surrounded by so many people in Padmavyuha (a formidable military formation) – such was the interview hall. "God Is One And The Same" The first question asked was this: "India is thickly populated, not only with people, but also with many gods. How do you justify the number of gods and the number of people there are in your country?" That was the first question. The answer was quickly available from Sai literature, which Bhagawan prompted from within. What did Bhagawan say in this direction? "There may be many different names and forms of Divinity, based on our likes and dislikes and on our whims and fancies; based on our intensity of devotion and on our concentration. The names and forms may be varied, but Divinity is One and the same. You may give Him any name, but God is One and the same. You may think of any form, but He’s the same." That’s what I said, just as I also quoted Bhagawan’s famous poem: Flowers are many, but worship is one. Forms are many, but God is One. Cows are many, but milk is one. Jewels are many, but gold is one. Paths are many, but goal is one. I repeated the famous quotation, and they seemed to have been satisfied. "It All Depends On You" Then came the second question: "If God is the same, why is one God so tall, like Rama, while one god is so short, like Ganesha? (Laughter) Why should there be differences in the height of the gods, if all are the same God?" The answer was also available from Sai teachings. I remembered very well Bhagawan saying that you get your dress stitched according to your measurements. You don’t wear the same shirt as the one worn by King Kong! (Laughter) No! Or you don’t give your shirt to that boxer man. A shirt for a thin man cannot be given to a fat man. You cannot wear a shirt stitched for a fat man because three of you could fit into it! So, a garment or a dress is made as per your measurements. Similarly, depending upon your choice, depending upon your temperament, depending upon your background, your level of comprehension, understanding and experience, the deity is designed in that form. Some can easily concentrate on Rama. Some can concentrate on Krishna. So it all depends on you. That was the second answer. "You May Give Any Name Or Form" Then came the third question: "If that’s so, why should there be so many names? How can there be Siva? How can there be Rama, or Krishna, or Durga, or Lakshmi? Why so many names? Why?" That was the third question. Bhagawan had given an example: It seems on one day, a hotel-keeper and a medical shop owner both got headaches on the same day. The medical shop fellow went to the hotel for a cup of coffee. The hotel-keeper went to the medical shop for a pill or a tablet. So he had faith in the

tablet. This other manhad faith in the cup of coffee. Both of them had a total cure of their headaches. Similarly, you may give any name or any form to God. Water is called neeru in Telugu. In Sanskrit, you may call it vaari; in Hindi, paani; in Tamil, tanni; but the water, H2O, continues to be the same. That’s the example given by Baba, which I could also give because of His Divine Grace. Vast Spiritual Literature Then there was a question like this: "India, being the land of rich spiritual cultural heritage, how is it there is illiteracy? How is it there’s poverty? How is it there is corruption? Why? What answer can you give?" There was an answer, which I thought of at that moment. What did Baba say? "Where do you find the doctor? You find the doctor where there are patients. So, you get what you really seek. There are several countries that have sought physical comforts -- countries that want a daily life full of comfort and conveniences, luxury and extravagancy. But Bharath has always been in search of God. This country has always been in search of the experience of Divinity. There has been a constant search for this by sages and saints, seers, aspirants and seekers." "There is so much spiritual knowledge today. In addition to four Vedas, you have 108 Upanishads, 18 epics, Brahma Sutras and Yoga Vasishtha. So much vast spiritual literature has grown in this country because of the selfless service and the penance undertaken by sages in those days for the welfare of mankind. They prayed for the progress of mankind without any trace of selfishness. So, spirituality has grown here, not the electronic gadgets, not the physical, mundane comforts and requirements." That answer seemed to have satisfied those people. 50% Answered Then came a final question, which was really amazing -- nay, unbelievable! "Who is the Prime Minister of Israel?" (Laughter) This question had nothing to do with the questions asked before. Well, I had to put on a blank face. I fully realised at that moment that Bhagawan was telling me from within, "All these questions I made them ask you. Now you tell how much you know! (Laughter) Come out of your emptiness and nothingness. I am exposing you now." "Swami, it is a serious test! I am not such a fool to think that it is for my glory. I'm not so stupid to think that I am a wise man. No! I know every second that You have been prompting me." Then immediately I said, "Sir, I know Goldameir has been the Prime Minister of Israel until now. Now she is out of power. A man has come in her place whose name I do not remember." (Laughter) Then one of the persons said, "50% answered. You can go." (Laughter) My situation was like a child in elementary school, who runs out of school hearing the final bell, carrying his bag of books, running happily! I was so happy and gay, dancing, coming out of the interview hall because nothing had happened to me. Nothing happened to my prestige whatsoever. Then I returned home happily, not expecting anything. There was some pressure from my friends, who were asking me to find out the results. I was afraid to find out the results because I was not prepared to accept failure. Success I didn’t expect. There were no expectations at all. I thought to myself, ‘Let things come in their own time, but let me not advance it.’ I said, "I'm not going to find out. No!" Why? Because I had made no preparation, no investment and no training. "Leave me alone," I said. I Stood First!

After a month, the results were announced. I stood first on the list of people selected to go to Southern Indiana in the United States that year. I have been to a lot of places in the United States: (in Indiana) Brazil, Corydon, Alora, Columbus, Indianapolis, New Albany, and Terrehaute. All those places I have visited under the courtesy of the Rotary International. After my return home, I received a letter stating: "You are to attend a meeting where you will be given some training before you go to the United States. We will give you some training on how to answer questions, how to meet people, and on certain requirements." Suddenly, on the day of the training, the college where I was working was to have the College Annual Day Celebration. I went to the Principal, Dr. Isaac, at that time, and told him, "Sir, kindly grant me leave on that day, so that I can attend the training before I go abroad." That man immediately said, "Who are they to give you training? I will give you training here!" (Laughter) "Sir, when they are spending their money, how can you give me training here?" He said, "Nothing doing. It happens to be the College Anniversary Day. Therefore, I cannot grant you leave." I said, "The College Anniversary is not based on me, Sir. The college has 5,000 students and 300 faculty members. I don’t think that anything would happen if I go on leave." He said, "Nothing doing!" Then I returned home and prayed to Baba, looking at His picture: "Baba, You are really fantastic. You made me stand first in the list, and now I am the last to go. Whether I can go or not, I do not know. But anyway, it is a question of Your prestige and Your Name -- nothing to do with me, please remember! (Laughter) Because You selected me, alright, You take the credit or discredit. The whole world knows that I had not made any preparation. So what do I care about it?" College Anniversary is postponed The invitations for the College Anniversary were ready and sent. Refreshments were also ready. Students were given badges. All the preparations for the College Annual Celebration were ready. Collector Chandrayya, an IAS officer, was to be the chief guest. Please believe me. This is subject to verification because I'm giving the date and also the names of the people involved. I'm not here to concoct or fabricate or imagine. I'm against such silly things. I'm giving you all the details, being a student of science. Just 24 hours before the Annual College Day, the Principal, Dr. Isaac, came to me and said, "Anil Kumar, please leave this place tonight." (Laughter) I said, "Sir, why do you want me, to go? You said you wouldn’t grant me personal time-off. You didn’t want to give me personal time-off! Why do you want me to go?" He said, "The College Anniversary is postponed." It was a college of 100 years standing. Now it must be 130 years -- one of the oldest premier institutions in the State of Andhra Pradesh, managed and monitored by the Lutheran Church of America. It is a very big college. The College Anniversary had never been postponed in all of its history. Our Baba is an excellent manager and a manipulator! (Laughter) He had just got the Anniversary postponed for one bloke by the name of Anil Kumar! The Five Of Us So, I went there, attended the meeting, and everything was checked for my travel to the United Sates. I met my other colleagues, who were eligible bachelors, quite handsome, occupying very

high positions, coming from medicine and engineering fields. I was the only non-gazetted government officer with four children. So, what was to be done? They were talking among themselves about what they would do in the United States. Finally, one of them ventured to ask me, "Anil Kumar, would you like to have a sip of alcohol?" I said I would like to have any number of sips of coffee, but not alcohol. Everybody laughed at me and said, "Five of us are going, but only four will be returning." They thought that once I was over there, I’d be finished (Laughter) They said, "Do you eat meat or anything like that?" "No, no, no, I'm a total vegetarian." Just like that, I became an untouchable among the five of us! (Laughter) A Godforsaken creature! Nobody was prepared to talk to me or exchange any views because there was nothing in common. Once we were there, oh! There were so many things that were served to us! But there was nothing for me to eat. Though I mentioned that I was a vegetarian, what is it that they brought for me to eat ? Boiled potatoes made into chutney, like a paste. (No doubt Anil Kumar means mashed potatoes.) They said, "This is vegetarian. Why don’t you eat it?" Ah-re! Potato is no doubt vegetarian, but I don’t eat it that way, made into a paste or gum like that! So I didn’t relish it, but courtesy made me silent. I wore a broad smile on my face, "Fine, fine, this much is enough." But smart people they are, the Rotarians! The USA is a great country of hospitality. The United States of America is a country where there is the synthesis of religions. They are ready to invite new ideologies. It is a country of friendship, where the people are full of smiling faces. They could understand my diet problem, and at the next session, I had a number of things like peanuts, cashew nuts, ice crèmes, cakes, biscuits, and so many such things! While the nonvegetarians had only one or two dishes, I had so many. (Laughter). I was more energetic than all of them, even without eating rice. Pets Were Pestering Me All right, I was quite fine. But here’s another thing that I should also share with you, though it is quite embarrassing. I'm not used to pets, like dogs and cats -- no. At the residence of every American, to my surprise, I noticed these pets, these dogs and cats, everywhere. I used to check to see if my room were dog-free or cat-free. (Laughter) Only then would I go into the room! Unfortunately, at 11 o’clock in the night, I heard some sound -- "Purr, purr" -- like that. (Laughter) What happened? Immediately I got up. I noticed one cat under my cot. (Laughter) I shouted to my American friend. He came in immediately. "Anil Kumar, what happened?" "Ah-re, what is this cat? Please take it out!" "No, no, Anil Kumar! It is a Burmese cat -- so sweet!" I said, "No! Burmese or Chinese, I don’t want it here! (Laughter) Please take it out. I can't sleep!" That was the only problem I had. I also remember in New Albany something happened. A gentleman introduced me to his sons. "Oh, Mr. Anil Kumar, here is David and Nelson." All that was fine. Finally he said, "Caesar, come along!"

I thought Caesar was a third son. Caesar was the name of their dog, and he was my size (Laughter) and ready to climb up on me like an expert in mountaineering! I am not Mount Everest -- to be climbed upon! I was very much afraid. This man said, "Say hello, Anil Kumar! Caesar is very friendly!" "Sir, I'm not friendly. Please!" (Laughter) As my legs were trembling, well, the dog came closer and closer, and then started touching me. "Sir, would you like me alive or not? Please take it away!" That was my problem, and I didn’t know what to do. I was about to move to the next place -some other residence. Instead of being curious about the family with whom I was supposed to live, I was curious about the pets there (Laughter) because the pets were pestering me! Well, I had no alternative. So, helplessly I told the gentleman, "This is my problem." Then they started taking care of their pets and made me quite comfortable -- such kind, nice people. Singing Baba’s Bhajans Then one day, while speeding along in the car, I was just singing Baba’s bhajans and the American thought something was happening to me. He said, "What’s wrong with you?" (Laughter) Well, I said, "Nothing is wrong with me. I'm quite hale and healthy, and I hope to live for a couple more years! But the thing is, I'm humming Indian Bhajan songs -- Indian hymns or prayer songs." The American said, "Would you do it at my residence this evening?" I had been waiting for that opportunity! I said that I would be happy to and would also give them the English translation to the songs. But only on one condition -- they should invite their friends also. They should not restrict this to only their family." He said, "OK. Why not?" Every day they invited their family and friends in the neighborhood to come. The result was that 30 or 40 attended the Rotary meetings and 300 or 400 attended my evening Bhajan programs! (Laughter) Since that day, I became more and more popular. I was the ‘most wanted’ person – ‘most wanted’ in a desirable way. Interviewed by The TV People The TV people and news reporters also interviewed us. My other Indian friends were in search of good cameras and other things. I did not have any kind of desire like that. I had a deep feeling that Swami had sent me and that I should speak about Him everywhere. That was my only mission. I had no other desire. "How Is It You Don’t Eat Beef In India?" Some questions were put to us like this: "Why is it that you don’t eat beef in India?" Well, I could not answer straightaway because there were five of us seated in the television studio. One man said, "We don’t eat beef. Cows are sacred." Then they asked another man, "Why are you eating beef here?" (Laughter) They were all very intelligent fellows. The third fellow said, "Indian cows are sacred, not other cows!" (Laughter)

Then I raised my hand and said, "Sir, I’ll give you the answer. That was just a kind of joke -- that American cows are not sacred, no. Cows are sacred, revered like a mother. There are many we revere like a mother. One is the Motherland, Desha Matha. Another is Mother Earth, Bhu Matha. The third one is Go Matha, the cow, as mother. A fourth is the Scripture, Veda Matha. These four are respected, adored and worshipped like the mother. That’s all." "Oh, that seems to be sensible," someone said. "How Is It There Aren’t divorces In India?" Then they asked another question: "How is it that there are no divorces in India? How is it that you live with the same person throughout your lifetime, even though you don’t agree?" One man, by the name of Raj Kumar, was newly married. He was working in the Union Corporation. He gave the answer: "Why marry a number of times? You have to sit in front of a fire and smoke for long hours! (Laughter) We don’t want that tedious process to happen again and again!" (Laughter) Another man said, "Marriage is an expensive process. Why pay for it more than once? We don’t want to." They all enjoyed these jokes. I said, "Sir, there is an answer. Marriage is only an institution. Marriage is only a vehicle. Marriage is only a transport to move from one end to the other end, to move from one shore to the other -- the shore of life on earth to the shore of life thereafter. I travel by car, but I don’t live in the car. I go across the bridge, but I don’t stay there on the bridge my whole life. So, marriage is an institution -- like a bridge, like a boat, like a ship -- taking you from the shore of this life to the life thereafter, to Eternity and Immortality." That seemed to have been satisfactory to them. "How Is It there Is A God Who Wants Human Hair?" There was another question, "How is it that there is a god in your country who wants human hair?" They meant Lord Venkateswara of Tirupati. Another person laughed and said, "God can grow hair by Himself! Why does He want your hair?" A very pertinent question! Bhagawan spoke about this a long time ago. The answer is simple and straight. Bhagawan said, "Hair symbolizes animality or the bestial temperament, the thamasic quality, the darkness of ignorance. When you remove your hair, when you offer your hair, you make an attempt to be free from the thamasic quality of dullness, of ignorance, of darkness, or ignorance of the Self. That’s why the hair is offered." "Secondly, if anyone stands in front of the mirror just combing his hair, everyone thinks that he is a film star -- most handsome, though the next person tells him, ‘You are not.’ It is very different if one is ugly when standing in front of the mirror. So once you offer your hair, there is no more decoration, no more attempt to look handsome. ‘I disfigure myself.’ This is self-effacement. There is nothing like projection. This is the symbolic _expression of offering hair to God." This made some sense to them. Somehow we came out of that television program and all of them seemed to have been satisfied with the answers. So, we began to disperse back to our destinations. A Bag Of Pickles The others, being rich, wanted to stop on the way back and visit London, Amsterdam, and other places with the extra money in their pockets. Since I was a teacher, I did not carry anything at that moment.

I was to visit a close relation there. My father-in-law gave me a big bag of Andhra pickles, hot stuff, to be handed over to her. (Laughter) I was carrying this bag for one month -- a horrible burden! The American brothers were good to me. The sisters over there didn’t allow me to carry anything. They carried all the things for me. It must have been a headache for them to carry this big package of Andhra pickles, such hot stuff. It will help you to land on the moon straightaway -- straightaway, with no expenditure! (Laughter) One mango pickle, one piece is enough -- you can try this afternoon! (Laughter) Of course, you should write your will in advance! (Laughter) So, I was carrying these pickles all along. But how was I to reach my relatives? When all my friends had dispersed, the Rotary governor, someone named Clark who lived in New Albany, came and said, "Anil Kumar, what are your plans now?" I said, "I have no plans except to go home." He said, "What is this bag?" "That bag is full of pickles, which I have to hand over to my relations." "Where are they?" I gave their address. "How do you plan to go?" International Sai Service Should I say that I didn’t have enough dollars to get there? Or should I tell them, ‘You fund my trip’? I didn’t say anything. "I don’t think I have sufficient time to go there. I’ll just bring the pickles back." Then he said, "No, no, your tickets and visa will enable you to stay here for some more time. Why do you want to leave like that? No! We’ll see that you get to see your relations there." They were staying in Hamden, Virginia. Immediately they made all the flight reservations. My other friends were traveling by the Greyhound bus service. Being sent by Sai International, Intercontinental Sai service, I could fly all the way on Northwest Airlines, without a single paisa (penny) in my pocket, through the courtesy of Rotary International, unasked and unsolicited. They also telephoned my relations and told them that Anil Kumar had taught them many things about India, Indian philosophy and culture, and that they wanted to visit that country some day. They said that it had been an honour to have me there. They asked my relations to please be there at the airport half an hour before my arrival time to receive me. Then they put down the receiver. (Laughter) By the time I landed there, my relations were waiting for me as if they were receiving Clinton or Bush! (Laughter) That is the dignity and the position one has with Sai’s Grace, which has impressed me very much. The College Declared A Holiday That is how my trip went. After my return, I was obligated to go around to different Rotary clubs in India and share my experiences. Many people don’t do that because they don’t travel everywhere here. But I wanted to go everywhere because that gave me an opportunity to share the Grace Bhagawan Baba showered upon me with everybody, along with spreading Sai’s message everywhere. It so happened that I was invited to speak by the Rotary Club in Nagpur. Eduljee was the Rotary governor. I addressed Nagpur University and the official Rotary Club and shared my experiences.

I began my return journey. I was traveling by Dakshin Express, which was to connect with another express. Due to my bad luck, Dakshin Express was running late. I could not report to the college in time -- that was the magnitude of the emergency. The Principal had been very angry with me because I had gone against his wishes. I was expecting that he would be ready with a dismissal letter. I was thinking and praying to Swami, "You have sent me on this trip, so You cannot kick me out of the college, which is my only means of livelihood." Having arrived back home, I heard that the college had declared a holiday that day because our students had won the state-level cricket match. I congratulated the students, not for their performance, but for getting the day declared a holiday! (Laughter) I wanted all the players of the college to play like that and win many times so that I could have a holiday -- so I could go on my trips like this, sharing the message of Sai Baba with as many people as possible. Questions Within the time left, let me cover some questions given to me, as those who have asked questions will be anxious about the answers. I shall try to deal with some of the questions to the best of my ability within the rest of the time. "What Is The Origin Of The Mind?" One question sent to me is this: "What is the origin of the mind? The answer is simple. There is no mind, so there is no origin! If there is a mind, you have to trace out its origin. The mind is non-existent. The mind is only a bundle of thoughts. The mind is only a bundle of desires. In the deep sleep state, there is no mind at all. The mind is there in the dreaming state; the mind is there in the waking state. But the mind is non-existent in the deep-sleep state. When thoughts are withdrawn, when desires are given up, there is no mind. Withdrawal of the mind or annihilation of the mind is called amanaska or manolaya. So, the question of the origin of the mind does not arise at all. "What is The Significance Of New Moon And Full Moon?" Another question: "What is the significance of the new moon and full moon?" Whether it is a new moon, a blue moon, or a full moon, a moon is a moon. (Laughter) The answer is: The moon is the presiding deity of the human mind. That’s the reason why on a full moon day, mad people are full of activity! (Laughter) On the dark night, they will also full of activity. They may even resort to violence. So, the moon controls the mind. The mind and the moon go together. But spiritually speaking, there is another interpretation. The full moon stands for wisdom, knowledge and awakening. It was on the full moon day that Buddha was born. It was on the full moon day that Buddha was enlightened. It was on the full moon day that Mahavira was enlightened. Poornima is the full moon day, which is the day of enlightenment. Moonlight is like the awakening of the inner Self. The full moon represents the knowledge of the Self. That is the meaning. "Has Not My Karma Been Cleared?" Another question asked of me is this: "You said," (he meant me) "the very Darshan of Bhagawan will clear you of your karma. But I'm still suffering from my karma. Has not my karma been cleared?" (Laughter) That is the question. The answer is this: One will be cleared of karmic effects if there is deservedness, if there is eligibility.

When I look at Bhagawan -- when all of us look at Bhagawan, all of us will not have the same feelings. There are many people who tell me that when Bhagawan passes by, they receive some vibrations. There are many people who tell me that they are charged with energy. There are many people who tell me that they feel a cool breeze when Bhagawan passes by. So, experiences differ based on the nature of the individual, their devotion or path and the intensity of their Sadhana. Therefore, I may not be cleared of karma because I'm not ready. I have not done enough work. Though the teacher is excellent, when the student is not able to follow the lesson, it only means that the student has not done enough homework. The student has not the required foundation to receive and appreciate the knowledge given to him in the classroom, even though the teacher is an expert. In order to be cleared of karmic effects, we should do some homework. What is that homework? Intense devotion, total faith, complete surrender and the Sadhana of service – these four are sufficient physical practices on the spiritual path. Doing (practicing) these four is sufficient homework for us to get ourselves ready and prepared, so that we can be free from the karmic effects. "Are Countries Also Bound By Karma?" Then I received some more questions: "Karma, is it individual? Are countries also bound by karma?" Perhaps like ‘wholesale’ and ‘retail’? This gentleman must have been a top businessman! (Laughter) Very good! Kind friends, do not misunderstand me -- I'm just joking. I don’t mean any disrespect to those who have asked these questions. I really bow down in all humility to the people who have asked these questions because they are all spiritual seekers. They are exemplary. They are noble and role models for me in particular because these questions help me to go into detail, into the depth. So, I thank them very much. The question is this: Are countries bound by karma? In the Holy Bible, there is a mention of two cities -- Sodom and Gomorrah. The inhabitants of these two cities mentioned in the Holy Bible were drowned. The inhabitants were totally punished by God. That’s what the Holy Bible says. When people are unrighteous, naturally the whole place is condemned. A country is not only a geographical location. A country is not only dust, mud and sand. A country is a collection of people. When the people are unrighteous…For example, just think of Afghanistan, where ancient Buddha statues of 200 or 300 feet in height were bombed and totally demolished by dynamite. So many Buddha statues were demolished there in Afghanistan. What later happened to Afghanistan? You all know that. When people are unrighteous, naturally they will have to face the reaction. That’s the answer I can give you. "What Shall I Do To Dine With Bhagawan?" The next question: "What shall I do to dine with Bhagawan? To sleep in the room very close to His bedroom? (Laughter) To go with Him in His car? To have a peaceful end of life, like His mother and grandfather had? " These are the questions put to me. Here is the answer, brother. Going in His car, dining with Him or sleeping in the room next to Him are all physical activities. You have the driver also in the car. I don’t think the driver is a saint or a sage. There in the dining room, you also find cooks and servers. I don’t think they are saints and sages. I don’t think so. In the building, there is the watchman. I don’t want to bow down to his feet. So, these are all physical acts of Grace. They are privileges. They are grand, golden opportunities. I don’t underestimate them. But if they lead to pride, if they make you egoistic, if they are acts of publicity or advertisement, they will really take you to doom. No! If these help

you to be more spiritual, if these help you to do Sadhana with higher, greater or deeper intensity, then that is a boon. But if it turns you into an egoistic man, then that is a curse. These physical acts should take you to a psychological (mental/emotional) level of togetherness with Bhagawan all through your life, wherever you may go. If you feel that the next man is Baba, it is living with Him. If you offer prayer to God and start eating, it is dining with Him. If you listen to Baba Bhajans as you travel in your car, you are traveling with Him. Baba said, "Wherever My glory is sung, I install Myself." Whenever we sing Bhajans, we are with Him. Whenever we think of Him, we are by His side. Whenever we offer food, we are dining with Him. That is the spiritual, psychological, metaphysical, mystical experience one should have or one should crave for. (Applause) "The Wife Is An Obstacle -- What Should the Husband Do?" Another question: "The husband is very much interested in Baba, but the wife is not. The wife is an obstacle. So, what should the husband do?" He also has given three alternatives: (Laughter) "One -- should he get divorced from his wife? Number two -- should he continue along the spiritual path? Number three -- should he give up the spiritual path? (Laughter) These are the alternatives – maybe it is like a multiple-choice question. (Laughter) My friend, this is an exceptional case! A husband finding his wife a problem along the spiritual path is an exception. Usually the husband is the problem for every wife! (Laughter) 90% of Sai devotees are here because of their wives. Let all husbands be ashamed to declare it in public. This humble self (Anil Kumar refers to himself) is also one and the foremost. So, this case is not a matter to be ashamed of. It is a matter to feel proud of. If the wife is an engine, very good -- the family will be very fine, peaceful and there’ll be no problem. But here is an exceptional case where the wife seems to be the problem. Wife or husband -- one of the two partners will not totally agree with the other. So, what is to be done? My friend, the answer is simple. If one is totally worldly and if the other is totally spiritual, we’ll be nowhere. But in co-existence, one takes care of the family, while the other takes care of the spiritual end. The wife taking care of the family is the root. The husband thinking of God is the fruit of the same ‘family tree’. The one (wife and mother) thinking of the family is the root, while the other (husband and father) thinking of God is the fruit of that same tree of life. So, let us not consider the life partner as an opposition party leader! (Laughter) Certainly not! Certainly not! To give you my own tale -- for 25 years, I went around the whole state of Andhra Pradesh. I visited thousands of Sai Centres -- at least thrice on the average -- spread over those 25 years. My wife stayed back at home, taking care of the children, my in-laws and my parents, ours being a joint-family (an extended family, all living under one roof together). Suppose that she had also become a competitor. What if she had said, "If you go towards the north, I’ll go towards the south? (Laughter) If you go and start addressing people in the east, I’ll have audiences in the west." Then the children would be on the streets! Therefore, it is the pure and logical dynamics of life that one will be at the ‘grass roots’ while the other will be ‘in the air’. It happens like that. Nowhere do the husband and wife agree 100%. They may agree before TV news reporters. (Laughter) They may agree for the television reporters, but not in reality. The family ‘Korean War’ certainly happens once in a blue moon, without which there is no melody in life at all. Let us not worry if the wife is not sailing along with the husband, or if the husband is not sailing with the wife. The husband will make the wife follow him one day. Just as husbands are following their wives, in such cases as this one, the wives will also follow the husbands someday. It all depends upon one’s own life example.

For example, in a crisis, if the husband is peaceful, the wife will learn from him. If the wife is peaceful in the worst moments of life, the husband will learn from her. By our example, we can certainly carry on with the other life-partner without any sense of opposition or critical attack. "Are All The People I See False?" Another question: "I am a teacher of yoga. I know God is One. But do you think all the people I see are false? Do you think it’s all Maya, illusion? Do you think they don’t exist? Do you say it is all a dream?" The answer is simple: Yoga is a connecting link with God. The meaning of ‘yoga’ is ‘connecting or uniting with God’. So when you are connected with God, you experience Oneness. You experience unity. You’ll see God everywhere -- in the animals, in plants, in mineral matter. Everywhere you will experience God. It will be just as Jesus Christ said, when He saw a dead, stinking dog on the street. Everyone said, "Burn it! Take it away!" Jesus smiled and said, "How bright the white teeth are! How bright are the white teeth of that dead dog." It means you’ll see the best in the worst. If it is the true path of yoga, you’ll see unity in diversity. Yoga should give you unity. But that does not mean in practical life we can be untidy, no! In our practical life, diversity is there. Suppose a student comes to me and says, "Sir, please teach me." I cannot tell him, "You are God, I am God. So, there’ll be no class today!" (Laughter) Suppose a patient comes to a doctor and says, "Sir, I am suffering from excruciating pain." Will the doctor say, "You are not a patient and I am not a doctor. You are God and I am God. So there is no question of surgery!" It is all nonsense! From a practical point-of-view, there is diversity. From an ideological point-ofview, there is unity. Ideologically, let us experience unity. Spiritually, let us experience unity. Physically, let us operate at the level of diversity. It is necessary to be practical, to be fundamental, to be realistic. That is the best answer I can give. "Can I See Baba In Different Forms?" There is another question from Canada: "Can I see Baba in different forms?" Why not? Baba appeared in the form of a postman. Baba appeared in the form of a watchman. Baba appeared in the form of a monkey to His sister. Baba appeared in the form of a cat. Baba appeared in the form of a bird. Baba can appear in any form. Why do we go to that extent? All forms are Baba’s only. We should pray and try for that experience -- for the awareness of that experience. Why should He appear in a separate form? All forms are His -- it only appears to be many. It is something like a person in the midst of several mirrors all around. That experience of seeing the One in the many (forms) is the culmination of spirituality. "What Are The Steps To Merge In Him?" Next question: "What are the steps that I should take to merge in Him?" There are not many steps. No! The steps are of our own making. The steps are created in our own imagination. Merger happens at once. What are the steps that you should take to mix sugar into a glass of water? How many steps are there? No, no! One spoon and stir it – you get immediate results!

Similarly, for an aspirant to merge with God, there are not many steps. Use a spoon of Viveka or discrimination, plus a spoon of Vairagya or renunciation – totally stir this, which is the process of Sadhana. That is enough for total merger. There are no steps. "How many lives are required? How many years are required?" No, no, no, no! Merger is immediate, all of a sudden, instantaneous, spontaneous and natural. It happens in a moment! Merging is our original state. We only got ourselves separated. In fact, we were all One, but we became separated. Example: here is fire. Out of this fire, many sparks and pieces come. The pieces at a distance turn black and become coal. So, originally it was fire. But at a distance, it becomes coal. Similarly, originally we were One, but later we got separated. To know that we are One (though appearing in different forms) is called realisation. Realisation is nothing but thinking of our original Oneness -- getting back to that original Oneness or unity with God. The reason that we separated from that Oneness is only due to having taken a name and form. That is the secret of merger with God. I should not detain you further. I beg your pardon for keeping you for extra time this morning because of the tempting questions. I hope you enjoyed those questions too! May God bless you! Sai Ram! Om Asato Maa Sad Gamaya Tamaso Maa Jyotir Gamaya Mrtyormaa Amrtam Gamaya Om Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu Om Shanti Shanti Shanti Jai Bolo Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Ji Ki Jai! Jai Bolo Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Ji Ki Jai! Jai Bolo Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Ji Ki Jai! Thank You! CONCLUDED With Sai love from Sai brothers –‘saidevotees_worldnet’ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saidevotees_worldnet/