Wali’s Perspectives On Managing Stress

Wali’s Perspectives on Managing Stress

www.myskillcity.com

Wali’s Perspectives on Managing Stress You might already have attended seminars on stress management or read about the causes of stress and the suggested coping strategies. I am not going to repeat any of that; all I am aiming is to give you a new worldview about life and a new strategy to deal with stress. This may help some of you, who are in a state of readiness to take this message! There’s no actual stress or anxiety in the world, it’s our thoughts that create these false beliefs. You can’t package stress, touch it, or see it. There are only ‘us people’ engaged in stressful thinking. We speak of stress as if it is a combatant, attacker. It’s not; it is the result of our body’s response to our ego. It’s about perception of worry/fear/threat, not the threat itself. Research has proven that most diseases are stress-related, particularly heart disease and cancer besides other psychological disorders. When I was in the UK studying for a PhD, I went to the doctor three times in two years for flu, fever or bad throat. He didn’t administer medicine on all three occasions and said these were related to ‘some’ exam- or relationship-related stress. How right he was! I never needed to go to doctor after that! It’s an imperfect world. And we are an incomplete leader! Deadlines will always miss. Someone will always let us down at the last minute. Our contacts in FBR and SECP and central banks may not do what they promised. There will be overspends and undercollections. There will always be surprises. There will be things outside our control. Acknowledge that you are a normal, incomplete, human being. I am complete in my incompleteness! An interesting article by the MIT lot including my favorite author Peter Senge in February 2007’s HBR – In Praise of Incomplete Leader! Context plays its negative part too. Newspapers, 24-hour TV news increase our stress levels. At personal or firm level, you will never get it done: your desires, goals, hopes and dreams will never be finished – ever! As soon as you achieve one of your dreams, another one is likely to pop up. The nature of universe is in a continuous state of expansion. We can’t achieve what we want to – successes lead to other aspirations which lead to more successes… and the cycle goes on. They call it rat race. On a separate note, modern [capitalist] workplace is not suitable for a healthy work and lifestyle. Because it leaves everything to logic and data, and doesn’t involve God! More on this elsewhere.

© 2008 Skill City

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Wali’s Perspectives on Managing Stress

www.myskillcity.com

Stress is self-inflicted (we need to be mindful of our limited role on this earth). We are addicted to our desks, our work. A Harvard Medical School research tells us that work can kill us. Long hours are nobody’s friend! Paradoxically, there will be cheaters too. No Sarbanes Oxley, a new directive, a law or a piece of legislation can stop people from becoming unethical. It’s your job to take preemptive, not just reactive, measures that this doesn’t happen, and when it does happen you deal with it according to the best possible measure. Nature achieves so much without rushing, fast-tracking and without attempting to do too much. Our own self-view hurts us most. We think of ourselves as the only skilled or most well-intentioned individual. Nature doesn’t work that way. It teaches us interdependence. i.e. there are other well-intentioned people as well who think of the organisational good as much as we do. Too much exposure to information. You CFOs know far too much about where the money goes. Awareness is painful. The mere fact that you know more than the other folks know make you vulnerable and act as stressor. I often wonder that if God wanted, he could have given us a third eye at the back. Had he done that, our lives would have been miserable. Control. Egos. Two words that stop us from becoming collaborative or distributive leaders. Instead of facilitator of the marketing, production or HR functions, we compete with them for resources. Stress is a desire of the ego. We allow ego to create many of the problems we encounter that we label stress and anxiety. Some stress-inducing thoughts: • • • • •

It’s more important to be right than to be happy. Wining is the only thing. When you lose, you should be stressed. Your reputation is more important than anything else. Success is measured in money and assets you accumulate rather then feeling happy and content. Being superior to others is more important than being kind to others

About 20 years ago when I was working as a newspaper editor, I read about the two types of professionals that die early – have you guessed it? Right, journalists and accountants! Both suffer from the self-belief that they are carrying the world on their shoulders! So that’s the worry… what’s the solution then? Your world

© 2008 Skill City

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Wali’s Perspectives on Managing Stress

www.myskillcity.com

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Changes are unavoidable, outside our control. Learn to adapt!

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Lower your expectations. Learn to live with uncertainty and surprises. Learn to say to yourself that you do not have full information, and this should not cause you your job! Learn to say that you have messed up, and it’s okay: you have right to be wrong!

Your self

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Be light-hearted. Use humour. Respond to humour. Drop your ‘airy’ CEO/ CFO guards!

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Reflect, read! Meditate. Spend quiet time with yourself.

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Pray. Being a Muslim allows you to build in an automatic routine – to meditate, disengage, submit yourself to a higher power (i.e. leaving the control), to exercise. Pray: ‘Make time for me, otherwise I’ll fill you with work’ – God. And do you remember the Qudsi Hadith: Aik teri chahat hai (There’s one thing you desire) …

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Sleep is some answer! (Allah’s tip to the Prophet Muhammad on how to deal with anxiety).

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Exercise. Walk. Hike. Jog. Play sports. The more intense it is the better pattern breaker it will be. Healthy life is blessing. Time is now!

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Don’t compare yourself with others; look down when comparing in worldly matters (Hadith).

Your workplace

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Turn around the workplace. Make it fun. And light! Use google’s couches (refers to google’s workplace) for afternoon nap. The work will still be accomplished.

Your coworkers

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Learn to delegate. Learn to empower. The role of leader is not managing the work; it’s managing the ‘worry’. So if you are able to pass on the ‘worry’ to people down the hierarchy, you have got it right.

Your work

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Disengage. Break the pattern. You are not the only one on whose shoulders this organisation is standing.

© 2008 Skill City

[email protected]

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Wali’s Perspectives on Managing Stress

www.myskillcity.com

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When you die, your inbox won’t be empty. And your place will be filled even before you are buried.

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Create a work-life balance. When is the last time you had played with your kids? Were you your natural self on the beach?

Your family

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Play with your kids; spend time with family.

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Watch babies, small children. The Prophet Muhammad (saw) liked them for making mends quickly, having small egos. Today’s agile organisations need to learn from babies.

Your future

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Do not rush in the search for rizq (livelihood); it’s predestined.

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Prepare for and look forward to your retirement for active business work or pursuit of your hobbies.

Finally, turn around the thought process. When something wrong happens, do not attribute to you. Just watch the process as an outsider and you’ll be amused most of the times. And finally, stress isn’t necessarily bad. Some stress is good – it alerts you to the dangers. So, it’s good to have occasional stress! Use stress to your advantage. Are you willing to change your worldview and your lifestyle today?

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Wali is an international consultant, speaker, leadership trainer and executive coach. He is CEO of Skill City Dubai [Asian answers ... to Asian questions], a new-generation learning and development regional firm with a developing-country perspective. He has spoken to audiences

© 2008 Skill City

[email protected]

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Wali’s Perspectives on Managing Stress

www.myskillcity.com

in South Asia, Southeast Asia, Middle East, East Africa, Western Europe, England and the United States.

© 2008 Skill City

[email protected]

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