Parents Guide May 08

1 WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A BAR/BAT MITZVAH Rev.11/08 The Bar Mitzvah experience has roots dating back to the 14th Century. This is the moment when a child demonstrates his/her ability to fulfill the responsibilities of an adult member of their Jewish community. It is the time from which children are allowed to participate in the rituals associated with religious maturity. They are called up to the Torah for an Aliyah for the first time. They read the Maftir (concluding section) from the Torah portion of the week and the accompanying Haftorah from the prophetic literature. They will also lead portions of the Friday evening and Saturday morning services. The term Bar Mitzvah literally means son (bat means daughter) of the commandments. (Throughout this booklet, the term “Bar/Bat Mitzvah” will be designated by the abbreviation “B/M” or “B/B Mitzvah”. Temple Beth Sholom will be abbreviated as “TBS”.) According to Jewish law, B/B Mitzvah is a state of responsibility automatically attained at the age of 12 for girls and 13 for boys. As a new stage in life is entered, it is marked with new obligations and new privileges. • • • • •

It marks a time for assuming responsibility. For observing the teachings of the Torah and For gaining the right and obligation to take a full role in Jewish rituals in the home and Synagogue For observing such commandments as wearing a tallit, wrapping tefillin and fasting on Yom Kippur. For being counted as part of a Minyan for prayer purposes.

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RULES AND SUGGESTIONS FOR PREPARATION OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH FOR PARENT AND CHILD

1. Perfect and punctual attendance at TBS religious school, the T’fillah Skills Class and individual sessions is essential in the B/B Mitzvah training program. If your child attends a Jewish day school, he/she is exempt from attending TBS religious school. 2. If a change in your regular appointment time is necessary, please contact our tutor at least 24 hours in advance. 3. If you miss or cancel your session without 24 hours notice and without a valid reason, you will be responsible to “pay” for it, i.e. it will be debited from your allotted total lessons. In the event of an EXTREME emergency, exceptions will be made. 4. If your regular tutoring time coincides with a legal or Jewish holiday during which the Synagogue offices are closed, your tutoring will be deferred to the following week at your regular time. Tutoring will also be deferred during the tutor’s scheduled vacation and/or sick days. You will be given ample notice of vacation days that may affect you. If you have any questions or concerns about scheduling, please refer them to Cantor Friedman’s office. 5. It is IMPERATIVE that each child devotes some time daily to study and preparation in addition to his/her formal training. Preparation and study at home is one of the most important components of the student’s learning and growth process. A minimum of 1/2 hour of daily practice is suggested. PARADIGMS FOR SUCCESS Responsibility: PREPARATION = STUDY PRACTICE = OUT LOUD PRIORITIZE = MAKE TIME PROMPTNESS = BE ON TIME PROCESS = ALLOW THE PROCESS TO UNFOLD Attitude/Kavanah: PASSION: The more you want to do something, the more you will want to succeed. POSITIVE ATTITUDE TRUST AND FAITH IN YOURSELF: Even if you think you don’t want to do something, taking the attitude that you do want to do it will vastly improve your chances of success. MAKING CHOICES: YOUR choices/ you OWN the experience. PERSONAL CONNECTION: Determine what this process means to YOU.

3 PRE B’NAI MITZVAH EDUCATION Approximately 18 months before the B’nai Mitzvah date: Family meets with the Rabbi, Cantor, B/BM tutor Adam Brustein, B/BM coordinator, Education Director, Executive Director and the B/BM commission representative to review B/BM policies, B/BM training, role of the professionals, the temple, the family and the B’nai Mitzvah. At this time, if your child is identified as having exceptional tefillah skills, s/he will be offered the opportunity to learn advanced sections of the service that s/he may lead on the day of his/her simcha. Twelve months prior: Student will begin mandatory training in the T’fillah/Brachot Skills class along with other B’nai Mitzvah students. Once students have demonstrated proficiency in T’fillah/Brachot skills, they will start private tutoring. Six to Eight months prior: Private tutoring with Adam Brustein begins. At the training sessions, your child will receive a CD with Torah and Haftarah portions and trope clauses (how to chant). Your child will also receive a B’nai Mitzvah Guidebook and Haftarah booklet. Your child MUST bring these materials with him/her to every tutorial. There will be a small fee for the duplication of lost materials. There will be up to 36 half-hour sessions of individual training with a tutor. The B/B Mitzvah tutor will contact the parent to arrange for the child’s allotted time. The sessions CANNOT be scheduled during the TBS religious school hours. There will be no tutoring sessions on observed Jewish holidays and legal holidays. If you will be planning any prolonged vacations (summer or winter), please discuss your dates with the tutor in advance so that your child’s tutoring will continue in a consistent manner. Two months prior: The student will begin meeting weekly with the Rabbi to prepare his/her d’rash and speeches. Please call the Rabbi’s office to schedule these appointments. One month prior: The Rabbi will make an appointment to meet with each B/B Mitzvah candidate and the family to discuss individual questions and concerns, and to review family participation in the service.

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BAR/BAT MITZVAH OBLIGATIONS JEWISH EDUCATION: Each B/B Mitzvah candidate must attend TBS Religious School or a Jewish day school for five (5) years prior to the B/B Mitzvah. S/He must be enrolled at the time of the B/B Mitzvah and is required to complete that year of study (even if the year ends after the B/B Mitzvah). Synagogue membership is required to validate a B/B Mitzvah contract and TBS dues must be paid in full. SERVICE ATTENDANCE: In the year prior to the B/B Mitzvah, parent(s) and child must attend, 20 Shabbat Saturday morning services. When attending Shabbat services, please get the yellow card with your name on it from the box in the foyer (on the table outside the large social hall). Give it to Adam Brustein or Cantor Friedman at the end of the service so he can register your attendance. It is your responsibility to ensure that this card remains intact and legible at all times. We strongly encourage parents and children to attend morning Minyan on the Monday or Thursday preceding the B/B Mitzvah. At this service, your child can wrap tefillin and receive an aliyah. TZEDAKAH: The lesson of tzedakah (charitable donation) is an important part of the entire B/B Mitzvah experience for the student and helps with understanding the new roles and responsibilities at home and in the community. You may share the joy of your simcha in a Jewish way by participating in a tzedakah project. The Rabbi, Cantor and religious school educator will assist you and your child in finding a particular project that is of special interest to you. There are many worthwhile Jewish organizations and programs available to you, including: • • • • • • • • • •

Our own synagogue: many candidates give a percentage of their own monetary gifts back to the synagogue to help support our numerous programs. MAZON, A Jewish Response to Hunger: feeding the hungry here at home and around the world. Jewish National Fund (JNF): Purchasing trees for Israel. Jewish Family Service Agency of Las Vegas: Provides assistance to needy families. Israel Bonds Hazon Yeshaya: Israeli soup kitchen. Friends of the Israel Defense Forces: Provides material support for soldiers in need. Any other worthwhile organization of your choice. Collect food and supplies for the needy and homeless. Accepting a new responsibility at home and following it through faithfully

PRESENTATIONS: SPEECH: The B/B Mitzvah candidate will be asked to prepare a speech. S/He will receive assistance from Rabbi Goodman with preparation. Please arrange an appointment with the Rabbi one month prior to bar/bat mitzvah date. TALLIT: Parents are required to present a tallit to their child as part of the Shabbat morning service. It is customary to purchase a tallit for this purpose or to present a family heirloom. Tallitot may be purchased through the Schwartz Gift Shop at TBS or online. Other options may be discussed with Rabbi Goodman.

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FAMILY OBLIGATIONS 1. Attendance at Shabbat services on Friday evenings and Saturday mornings is required with your son or daughter. 2. Parents are required to participate in as many minyanim as possible. TBS minyan is at 7:30 am on weekdays; 9:00 am on Sundays and holidays. 3. Parents and B’nai Mizvah are required to attend four siyumim study sessions during the year prior to the B/B Mitzvah. These are classes designed to make the B’nai Mitzvah experience as stress free and enjoyable as possible. In addition, this is a time for not only your child to learn, but for all of you to learn together as a family at home. We encourage you to take the time to sit with your child while he or she studies. If you are not good in Hebrew or chanting, perhaps you can help prepare your child in the English readings for the Friday night service. 4.

The B/B Mitzvah candidate and family may choose one of the following options to fulfill the special project requirement: a. You may choose a yearlong tzedakah project as outlined under B/B Mitzvah Obligations (see p. 4). OR b. You may choose to fulfill the 13 MITZVOT PROGRAM provided by Cantor Friedman. This is a series of thirteen learning and doing experiences that the child performs under the supervision and oversight of the Cantor and the parents.

5. It is an obligatory mitzvah of the B/B Mitzvah family to sponsor a Kiddush following the Saturday morning service. The Saturday morning basic Kiddush is provided by TBS. Contact the Executive Director at Ext. 133 for details. 6. Keeping lesson appointments is essential to the success of your simcha. If a change in your regular appointment time is necessary, please contact the Cantor or tutor at least one day (24 hours) in advance. If you miss or cancel your session without 24 hours notice and without a valid reason, you will be responsible to “pay” for it: it will be debited against your allotted total lessons. In the event of an EXTREME emergency, exceptions will be made.

6 AN OVERVIEW OF THE SHABBAT MORNING SERVICE Our services have their roots in antiquity and are conducted mostly in Hebrew, the language of the Jewish people and Jewish liturgy. Each of the two books that we use for the Saturday morning service includes English translations of the Hebrew passages. The Siddur Sim Shalom prayerbook is the smaller blue prayerbook. The larger red book (Etz HayimChumash) contains the Five Books of Moses as well as the Haftarah (prophetic readings). In addition, this volume includes detailed commentaries for these biblical texts. The services are divided into three sections: the Shacharit service, the Torah service and the Musaf service. During the Torah service, the B/B Mitzvah family has the opportunity to invite honored individuals to participate. Aliyot (reciting blessings over the reading of the Torah) should be extended to those who are close to the B/B Mitzvah and his/her family. In Jewish tradition, it is a great honor to be called up for an aliyah. Other honors (petichahs) include the opening and closing of the Ark, lifting, dressing and carrying the Torah. Some honors require Hebrew language facility. The Torah aliyot are reserved for adult Jewish men and women only. (Please refer to the attached Aliyah/Honorees information form in the Appendix). The Shacharit Service One of the distinctive features of Jewish prayer is the emphasis on communal or congregational worship. We therefore invite and encourage all those in attendance to pray with us. Shacharit is the morning service. The name of the service is derived from the word shachar meaning early morning or dawn. The two highlights of this service are the Shema, a prayer declaring the central creed of Judaism (“Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.”) which proclaims our unity as a people and our faith in one God; and the Silent Amidah, in which each of us has an opportunity to offer both the ancient dreams of our sages as well as the personal concerns of our own hearts and minds. In the Silent Amidah, we articulate our hope for a Messianic/utopian era, the rebuilding of the holy city of Jerusalem, a desire for the in-gathering of the Jews exiled in foreign lands, a yearning for peace and an awareness of the daily miracles of life and health. The Birchot HaShachar (“the Morning Blessings’) is the preliminary section of this service. This introductory portion includes blessings and songs to help us enter into the spirit of prayer. It is our tradition at TBS to have the parents of our B’nai Mitzvah place the tallit upon their child. They are then called upon to recite the special blessings at the conclusion of the Shacharit service. This is an extremely emotional experience and a highlight of the services. We suggest that relatives and friends be present to share in this special moment. Birkot HaShachar begins promptly at 9:00 am.

7 The Torah Service For Jews, the Torah is a body of law, the constitution of the Jewish nation and people and the source of Jewish tradition and inspiration. Hence, the scroll of the Torah is treated with tremendous reverence, respect and care. To protect the parchment of the Torah scroll from the dirt and oils on our hands, we are not permitted to touch the parchment with out bare hands. Instead, the Torah reader will use a yad (pointer) to follow the text. (Tip: the yad should not touch the lettering on the torah scroll as it may scratch the letters off, rendering the scroll unkosher). The melody for chanting the torah is based on tiny diacritical marks called tropes, found in some published versions of the Torah but absent from the scroll itself. Vowel markings are also absent from the scroll. Readers must commit the missing notations to memory. In order to maintain the integrity of the text, two gabbaim (text checkers) stand on either side of the reader and correct any inadvertent mistakes. A portion of the Torah, referred to as the parashah from the Five Books of Moses, which has been painstakingly written in Hebrew on parchment, is read four times a week: on Saturday morning, Saturday afternoon and on Monday and Thursday mornings. The same portion is read in every temple (Orthodox, Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist) around the world each week. Each B/B Mitzvah child receives a Torah portion (and Haftarah) determined by the date on the Jewish calendar of his/her B/B Mitzvah. The Torah reading for a particular week is divided into eight portions on Shabbat morning. It is a special honor to be called to the Torah for an aliyah. For those who need assistance in reading the Torah blessings, there will be a card on the bima with the blessings in large print, in both Hebrew and in English transliteration. (You can also find a copy at the back of this handbook and we suggest that you distribute copies in advance to those being honored). The blessings must be recited in Hebrew. Those individuals who are honored with an aliyah will touch to Torah scroll as directed by the Torah reader with the fringes of a tallit (or with the corner of a special cloth designed for a woman who does not wish to wear a tallit) and kiss it before and after reciting each of the blessings. A B/B Mitzvah at TBS is encouraged to read the Maftir, the eighth and final portion of the Torah reading. Before chanting the maftir, the B/B Mitzvah recites the appropriate blessings. Any of our B’nai Mitzvah may prepare to read more of the Torah portion only after they have demonstrated their competency with the maftir, the haftarah and any additional prayers assigned by the Cantor or Rabbi. A B/B Mitzvah who exhibits exceptional skills will be encouraged to lead more parts of the service (e.g. Shacharit, Musaf, etc.). After the haftarah, the B/B Mitzvah is asked to share his/her insights and interpretations of the Torah reading in a D’var Torah, which is delivered in English. At the conclusion of the d’var Torah, the B/B Mitzvah may also wish to acknowledge family, friends and teachers who have helped them prepare for this special day. There are many reference books available in the temple, local libraries, book stores and on the Internet, which discuss each parashah. The Rabbi, Cantor, Educational Director and B’nai Mitzvah tutor are also available for assistance and should be consulted.

8 In our temple it is the custom to welcome the B/B Mitzvah student into Jewish adulthood with song upon the conclusion of their maftir reading. We customarily sing Simantov and Mazal Tov. Please see attached guidelines for details p.14 Since it is not easy for all worshipers to see the Torah while it is read, at the conclusion of the reading the torah is lifted up by the Hagbah so that three columns can be clearly seen by all. The Gelilah then performs the honor of rolling and dressing the Torah. Once the Torah has been dressed, it is carried through the temple in procession while the Cantor and congregation chant Psalm 29. The ark is opened so that the Torah can be placed inside and a separate honor of closing the ark is given to the Machnis. Upon completion of an aliyah, it is customary to shake hands with the honoree and say “Yashear Koach” (for a man) or “Yasher Kochech” (for a woman):“May your strength increase “. The Musaf Service On Shabbat, an additional Silent Amidah, Tefilat Musaf is added to the morning services. This refers to the additional offering that was brought to the temple in ancient times after the usual morning sacrifices. The B/B Mitzvah is required to lead Ashrei. This prayer emphasizes God’s caring for humankind. The Cantor and the congregation recite Hatzi Kaddish, the first sections of the Musaf Amidah and the Kedushah, followed by the Silent Devotion. This prayer is filled with joyous songs. After the Musaf service, several closing hymns of praise to G-d are chanted: Ein Keloheinu, (“There is none like our God”) can be led by children under the age of thirteen. This is an excellent opportunity to include younger siblings. Aleinu (“It is incumbent upon us to praise God”) is one of the noblest expressions of the universal character of Jewish monotheism and may also be led by a minor. The Kaddish is the last formal prayer of the service. Derived from the Hebrew word meaning “to sanctify”, it expresses the hope and possibility that the Divine will establish on earth a kingdom of righteousness and peace within our lifetime. Mourners who have lost a close relative within the past eleven months, or who are commemorating a Yahrzeit (the anniversary of a death) are asked to rise and recite the Mourner’s Kaddish with the Rabbi. The service concludes with Adon Olam, a poetic hymn in praise of God, which again can be led by children under the age of thirteen. The services conclude with the recitation of special blessings over the wine and challah bread by the B/B Mitzvah child. We then proceed to the large social hall for the Kiddush luncheon.

9 The Shabbat Morning Services – Highlights Pages from Siddur Sim Shalom for Shabbat and Festivals Birkot HaShachar Psalm for Shabbat Mizmor Shir Baruch She’amar Psalm 34 Ashrei Psalm 150 (halleluyah) Shochen Ad Yishtabach Barchu El Adon Shema Yisroel Mi Chamocha Amidah Kedusha Reader’s Kaddish Torah Service Torah Blessings Haftarah Blessings Prayer for our country Prayer for Israel Ashrei Returning the Torah Musaf Ein Keloheinu Aleinu Mourner’s Kaddish Adon Olam

65 72 81 83 88 96 100 105 106 107 108 112 114 115b 116 138 139 142 146 148 149 151 153 156b 182 183 184 187

10 An Overview of the Shabbat Afternoon and Evening (Twilight/Havdalah) Services In our congregation it is also possible to celebrate a B/B Mitzvah at a twilight (Havdalah) service. This service incudes Mincha (the afternoon service), Maariv (the evening service) as well as the beautiful and dramatic ceremony of Havdalah which marks the conclusion of Shabbat and the advent of a new week. The service begins approximately one hour before sunset and concludes approximately one hour after sunset. Those who wish to celebrate a B/B Mitzvah at twilight must confirm all the appropriate details with the Rabbi well in advance of their simcha. The highlight of the twilight service is the reading of a portion of the Torah from the coming week’s parashah. A haftarah is, generally speaking, not chanted at a twilight service and the number of honors available for distribution to relatives and friends is considerably smaller than at the morning services. B/B Mitzvah students participate fully in this service and share a d’var torah just as they would at a morning affair. The clergy and lay leadership make all the appropriate and customary presentations to the B/B Mitzvah student. Members of the community-at-large do not as a rule attend this event although the services are, as always, open to all who wish to partake. As the B/B Mitzvah student’s involvement begins with the commencement of this service, we highly recommend that guests are informed of the importance of a prompt arrival. The twilight service lends itself to some additional creative possibilities which can be discussed with the Rabbi should your family be interested. For those interested and able to do so, (to be determined by our professional staff), a haftarah may be chanted at the twilight service. This may be done only once all other requirements have been completed. Shabbat Afternoon and Evening (twilight) Services-Highlights Pages from Siddur Sim Shalom for Shabbat and Festivals

Ashrei Hatzi Kaddish Torah Service Torah Blessings Returning the torah Amidah Aleinu Mourner’s Kaddish Prayer for our country Prayer for Israel

226 229 229 231 232 234 248 249 148 139

Barchu Shema Mi Chamocha Hatzi Kaddish Amidah Aleinu Mourner’s Kaddish Havdalah Adon Olam

281 282 283 285 286 297 298 299 197

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GUIDELINES FOR ALIYOT TORAH ALIYAH: If you are being honored with a torah aliyah, you will be given an honor card upon your arrival. The card indicates your aliyah number. At the beginning of the torah service, move to the front rows on the left hand side of the sanctuary, facing the bimah. When the person with the prior aliyah is walking to the podium, proceed to the bimah and sit next to the Cantor. When your aliyah is called, go to the podium. Leave the aliyah card on the podium. The Baal Korey (torah reader) will point out on the Torah scroll the section that is about to be read. Use the fringes of the tallit or the special cloth provided, to touch the section indicated and then kiss the fringes and recite the blessings. There will be a large copy of the Torah blessings (both in Hebrew and in English transliteration) on the podium. (A copy of the blessings is attached). At the conclusion of the Torah reading, again “kiss” the Torah (same process as before reciting the blessings). The gabbai will help you to recite the blessings if necessary. After you recite the last blessing, move to the other side of the podium until the next person finishes his/her aliyah and then return to your regular seat. ARK OPENING If your honor is to open and close the ark, seating is similar to the above. At the beginning of the Torah service, move to the front rows on the right side of the sanctuary and wait until you are directed to proceed to the bimah by the gabbai. Stand on either side of the ark. You will be cued when to open the ark doors and when to close them. You may return to your regular seat when directed by a gabbai. LIFTING AND DRESSING THE TORAH: If your honor is to lift and dress the Torah, going up to the bima is the same as opening the ark. If you are lifting the Torah, because of the weight, hold both handles and bend your knees slightly to raise the Torah from the table. Hold the Torah up so that the bottom handles are in line with your forehead. Turn so that the congregation can see the writing between the open scrolls. Walk to a chair and sit holding the Torah carefully until it is dressed and then taken from you by the gabbai The Torah dresser should first tighten each scroll by rolling it inward, then bind them with the Torah buckle or sash. (The buckle should face the person holding the Torah). Place the Torah cover over the top handles with the decorated side facing the person who is holding the Torah. Finally, place the yad (pointer) on the top handle on left, and then the crown or the two rimonimn on the top handles. PARTICIPATION IN SHABBAT SERVICES AND CEREMONY Although the B/BM ceremony is an important part of the Shabbat morning service, the continuity of the regular service for congregants is still the primary purpose of the service. Younger siblings of the B/BM are welcome to participate in the simcha from the bima. These children can read Ashrei, Ein Keloheinu, Aleinu or Adon Olam only. A younger sibling can also carry the Torah crown during the torah processional. Older siblings and other family members may participate in the service (e.g. read Torah, daven prayers) as appropriate and as determined by the Rabbi and Cantor.

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SYNAGOGUE SERVICE DECORUM The B/B Mitzvah is being celebrated on the Shabbat and the holiness of this day must be observed. PLEASE REMIND YOUR GUESTS OF THE FOLLOWING PROHIBITIONS, RULES AND CUSTOMS: 1. Smoking is not permitted in the synagogue or on the synagogue grounds during Shabbat (Friday night and Saturday until sundown). 2. All men and boys, regardless of faith, are asked to wear a kippah (skullcap) during the service. These are worn as a sign of respect. Jewish men above the age of 13 must wear a tallit. 3. All married women ascending the bimah must wear a head covering. 4. Use of telephones, cell phones or any electronic device (including PDA’s, video cameras, MP3 players, Blackberry device, etc.) is strictly prohibited anywhere inside the building and on the synagogue grounds. Physicians should have cell phones on vibrate mode only. 5. Picture-taking is not permitted on Shabbat anywhere in the building or on the grounds, including in front of the synagogue. Pictures may not be taken at the Kiddush. Contact the clergy office in advance to arrange for a photo session appointment inside the sanctuary prior to the B/B Mitzvah. 6. Writing is not permitted at any time, anywhere, on Shabbat. 7. It is our tradition to not applaud for someone anytime during the service. 8. Purses and handbags are not permitted on the bima. 9. It is not appropriate to bring gifts or donations to the service. 10. Please dress appropriately for a religious service, especially if you are being called onto the bima to participate in the service. Men should wear a suit and women should have their shoulders covered and not wear revealing clothing. COURTESIES REQUESTED DURING THE SHABBAT SERVICE • • •

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Please refrain from entering or leaving the sanctuary while the congregation is standing and when the Rabbi is addressing the congregation. Please eliminate distraction by having children sit quietly through the service, keeping them from walking in and out of the sanctuary and disturbing others around them. Childcare is available for potty-trained children up to seven years of age for a nominal fee, depending on the number of children you expect to host. If you will have more than three children in childcare, please contact the office no less than four weeks before your simcha to arrange for this service. If your guest is bringing an infant, please suggest that they sit toward the back of the sanctuary so he/she may step outside if the baby becomes restless. A room for adults with infants is located in the lobby and has been fitted with a one-way window so you may still view the service.

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FACILITY USE RULES AND REGULATIONS

1. Bar/Bat Mitzvah dates and parties. are only considered reserved when a contract has been signed and returned to the synagogue business office with your deposit. All arrangements are to be made through the Executive Director. 2. TBS maintains a smoke-free facility at all times. All special-effects equipment must be pre-approved by TBS prior to use. Smoke/steam machines are not permitted as they may set off smoke alarms. 3. Flowers, baskets, decorations, food, etc. may not be removed from the building until after the conclusion of Shabbat. You may contact the temple office to arrange to pick up items. 4. Supervision of children during parties is the responsibility of the host family. Unruly or destructive behavior will not be tolerated. The host family is responsible for damages to the facilities and will be assessed accordingly. Synagogue staff (including custodians) on duty during services and celebrations is to be regarded as authority, representing the best interests of the synagogue. All instructions and directions from these staff members should be respected.

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GENERAL INFORMATION

FLOWERS/FLORAL ARRANGEMENTS If you wish to have fresh flowers on the bima, you will need to notify your florist that they must be delivered by noon on Friday. The baskets or arrangements must fit under each of the podiums on the bima and should not exceed three (3) feet in height. In place of flowers, we suggest a basket of nonperishable food items or school supplies be displayed and donated as part of your child’s Tzedakah Project.

BULLETIN Please provide a photo of your child six weeks prior to the B/B Mitzvah date so that we may publish it in the TBS bulletin newsletter and in other appropriate newspapers. (Attached please find a release form for your child’s picture and a brief biography to appear in The Jewish Reporter and Israelite. SHABBAT BOOKLET PROGRAMS A program of the order of the service for your guests will be provided by the Rabbi’s office. If you wish to add an insert of your own, you must first have it approved by the Rabbi. PHOTOGRAPHY Photographs are not permitted anywhere on the Temple grounds or in the building on Friday evening until the conclusion of Shabbat. In addition, no photography/videography will be permitted in areas surrounding the synagogue during the same time period. You may schedule an appointment in the sanctuary for your family photographs the week preceding the B/B Mitzvah. It is customary to include only your immediate family in these photos. Please return a completed “Bar/Bat Mizvah Photo Session” form (see Appendix) to the clergy office. The clergy office will confirm with both the Rabbi and Cantor as to their availability to include them in your photo session. The clergy office will contact you once the day and time have been put on the calendar.

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HONORARIUM If you wish to show your appreciation to the Rabbi and Cantor, it is appropriate to make a donation in your child’s honor to their respective Discretionary Funds. Prayer books are also available with inscribed bookplates in your child’s name. Please contact the main office as to which fund you would like your donation applied to so that it may be listed in our bulletin newsletter.

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TIMELINE FOR CANDIDATES AND PARENTS THREE YEARS PRIOR TO THE CANDIDATE”S 13TH BIRTHDAY •

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A B/B Mitzvah date will be assigned by the Rabbi upon verification of enrollment is Temple Beth Sholom religious school or in a Jewish day school. Temple Beth Sholom (TBS) reserves the right to schedule more than one B/B Mitzvah on a single date if deemed necessary. Upon receipt of both B/B Mitzvah contract and deposit, a date will be placed on TBS’s Master Calendar and the Cantor will be informed. To reserve the Temple’s facilities for your child’s B/B Mitzvah celebration, a separate contract must be entered into with TBS. The Temple facility cannot be held for an afternoon or evening affair without receipt of a signed catering contract by the Temple office. Please see the Executive Director for details.

TWELVE TO EIGHTEEN MONTHS BEFORE B/B MITZVAH DATE • •

B/B Mitzvah fees are due in full before an orientation meeting can be scheduled. An Orientation Meeting for candidates and their parents will be scheduled with the Rabbi, the Cantor, the religious school educator, the B/B Mizvah tutor and our Executive Director to discuss the following: -

The religious aspects and symbolism associated with the B/B Mitzvah in which our THIRTEEN MIZVOT PROGRAM will be introduced. The role of the Rabbi in preparing the candidate; his expectations and his availability to the candidate and his/her family. The role of the Cantor in preparing the candidate; his method of training, scheduling of classes, and his expectations of the candidate and his/her family. The candidate’s Torah and Haftorah portion. The possibilities for the candidate and his/her family to participate in the Shabbat service on his/her B/B Mitzvah day. Religious school policies and attendance. The role of the B/B Mitzvah tutor. Catering arrangements for private receptions through TBS’s approved caterers. Please be reminded that it is appropriate and customary to wait until the conclusion of Shabbat to hold your formal celebration. Please see the Executive Director before you contract with your catering and entertainment vendors.

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NINE TO TWELVE MONTHS • • •

Reserve photographer, party planner, band, etc. if you intend to make use of any of these vendors. (The best ones usually book well in advance!) Finalize catering and reception arrangements. Continue regular attendance at Shabbat services.

SIX TO NINE MONTHS • •

Begin training with Cantor and tutor. Attend check-in meeting with Rabbi and Cantor.

FOUR TO SIX MONTHS •

Order invitations. This will give you enough time to proofread and make any corrections necessary. Invitations may be ordered from an outside vendor or through our Women’s League.

TWO TO FOUR MONTHS •

•

Select a tallit to be presented to the B/B Mitzvah by the parents on the day of the ceremony. If you will need to purchase a tallit, you should do so during this time period. The presentation of a tallit for a girl before the Torah service is optional. Our Schwartz Judaica Shop carries a selection of talleisim, clips, head coverings and gifts. The Gift Shop may be contacted through the Temple office (702) 804-1333. Talk to honorees about their roles. Provide them with copies of the Torah Service Blessings. The Cantor can provide any additional assistance to your honorees if required.

TWO MONTHS PRIOR •

• • •

Provide office with photo and announcements of B/B Mitzvah candidate for TBS bulletin newsletter and other appropriate local newspapers (please see general information regarding bulletins for more information). Please type your announcements, submit a disk or email directly to Executive Director Bruce Kesselman at [email protected] Notify office if videotaping if desired. Attend check-in meeting with Rabbi and Cantor. Begin meeting with the Rabbi to work on D’var Torah and speech.

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ONE MONTH PRIOR • •

Schedule minyan attendance. The Rabbi will make at least three appointments to meet with each B/B Mitzvah and his/her parents to discuss individual questions, concerns and to review family participation. Keep in mind that if the Rabbi feels that it is necessary, he may schedule additional appointments with the candidate. If desired, schedule photo session with the Rabbi and Cantor.

•

NO LATER THAN TWO WEEKS PRIOR TO B/B MITZVAH •

Have the Rabbi review the program booklet before it is printed, if you are going to provide one. Create non-perishable food or school supplies tzedakah basket for the bima or order flowers for the bima if desired.

•

ONE WEEK PRIOR •

Hand in your Honor Sheet to the Rabbi, complete with Hebrew names of the honorees.

FRIDAY OF THE B/B MITZVAH •

Flowers or baskets for the bima need to be delivered before noon on Friday.

AT LAST! Enjoy your simcha. Have a wonderful Shabbat dinner before services. Try to relax! MAZAL TOV!

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TEMPLE BETH SHOLOM IMPORTANT NAMES MAIN PHONE NUMBER: (702) 804-1333

RABBI:

FELIPE GOODMAN

ext. 104

ASSISTANT RABBI

ADAM WATSTEIN

ext. 104

CANTOR:

DANIEL FRIEDMAN

ext. 104

ASST. TO RABBI & CANTOR.

CAROL JEFFRIES

ext. 104

EXECUTIVE DRECTOR:

BRUCE KESSELMAN

ext. 133

DIRECTOR OF EDUCATION:

JON MITZMACHER

ext.115

COMPTROLLER:

PHYLLIS MARGOLIS

ext. 101

B’NAI MITZVAH TUTOR:

ADAM BRUSTEIN

(702) 497-5267

ROSH GABBAI:

RUTH GOLDFARB

(702) 362-7709