October Issue

Ganesh Visarjan Sohala - From the camera lens of Abhijit Apte

Shubh Dasara & Shubh Dipawali ….

Here is what you said…. About the First Edition Dear Anand, Good effort. I liked the e-magazine. I have an important suggestion. Please give the original source of the information published in the magazine. All the best for this project and looking forward for more and more good stuff. - Dr. Prashant Uday Manohar Hi Anand The magazine is too good. Mi purna vachala nahi pan just chalala. Khoopach chhan ahe. Ya e-magazine la ani tyachya pudhil vatachalisathi shubheccha. Ganeshchaturthichya anek hardik shubhecchha. - Sneha Kale Hi, The magazine is just too good for the first edition. Quite informative with small anecdotes. Keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Jyotsna Gogte Hello Anand, Thank you very much. I quickly glanced through the issue and I liked it very much. I would read it in detail on the weekend. It would be great if a section on General knowledge and current affairs is included as it would immensely help us all. - Sanjeevanee Vaidya

Hi, Today I received our e-magazine. I must say I am really impressed by the work you have done. Presentation, articles, stories and all are really good. There are a few things I would like to comment on. In the story "Unconditional love", word 'land mine' is misspelled as 'land mind' in forth paragraph second line. Without a doubt it's not a big thing but being a KCB I guess we should strive for perfection! Also I would like to contribute in this venture in any way I can. - Devendra Oak. Dear Anand, Received the e-magazine. Congratulations! It is really a nice venture. Appreciate your sincere efforts. - Mandar Godbole Hi, Got first issue of ‘Nirmam’ today.. I want to thank you for this interesting as well as informative e- magazine. and also want to thank all of them who contributed for it. This is the first of it's kind magazine I have come across and I appreciate your efforts for the same. I will definitely try to contribute as and when I have some nice stuff to share. - Reshama Joshi

From: Rohan Bhagwat

Konkan - From the camera lens of Sanjeevane

Topics you can contribute on… … e-Magazine – For & By KCBs 

World / National / Local News, Happenings



Website Watch (information about any websites you found interesting)



Recipes, Restaurant Reviews



Short Stories, Write-ups, Book / Drama / Film Reviews, etc.



Jokes, Cartoons



Photographs of tourist spots you have had visited, etc.

 

Sports Any personal experiences you would like to share



Any Professional topics



Article on Career vistas, Employment opportunities, Investment arenas



AND anything you feel that can be included for a pleasure reading

(However the scope is unlimited and unrestricted. *Conditions Apply)

For this e-Magazine, any KCB throughout the globe can contribute anything & everything he feels as a part of sharing information, knowledge, etc. For all the above topics, I invite your contributions! Your name will be mentioned for the same as 'Contributors'. This e-magazine will be handled majorly by me as the ‘Chief Editor’. However, as & when the contributions go on increasing, there will be scope for you to be appointed as Sub-Editor, Associate Editor, Correspondents, etc. All this will be for FREE. Please send in your contributions to the Editor: [email protected] The e-Magazine will be emailed to the subscribers each month. Please do forward this to your KCB Contacts and help in spreading a word about the existence of this e-Magazine…

THE WORST BANK ROBBERY In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of Scotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors. They had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone, sheepishly left the building. A few minutes later they returned and announced their intention of robbing the bank, but none of the staff believed them. When they demanded 5,000 pounds in cash, the head cashier laughed at them, convinced that it was a practical joke. Then one of the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor clutching his ankle. The other two tried to make their getaway, but got trapped in the revolving doors again. ----------------THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE During the firemen's strike of 1978, the British Army had taken over emergency fire fighting and on 14 January they were called out by an elderly lady in South London to retrieve her cat which had trapped up a tree. They arrived with impressive haste and soon discharged their duty. So grateful was the lady that she invited them all in for tea. Driving off later, with fond farewells completed, they ran over the cat and killed it!! --------------LAWYERS Vs INSURANCE This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, and then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued and won! In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated, nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires." NOW FOR THE BEST PART... After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

Internet Forward

From - Saurabh Damle

HEAVEN AND HELL Once upon a time a man, his horse and his dog were traveling along a road. As they passed a huge tree it was struck by lightning and they all died. But the man failed to notice that he was no longer of this world & so hi continued walking along with his two animal companions. Some times the dead take a while to register their new situation. It was a long, up hill walk, the sun was beating down on them & they were all sweating and thirsty. At a bend in the road, they saw a magnificent marble gateway that led them to a gold-paved square, in the centre of which was a fountain overflowing with crystal clear water. The man went over to the guard at the entrance. "Good morning" "Good morning" replied the guard "What is this lovely place?" "It is heaven" "Well, I am very glad, because we are very thirsty." "You are welcome to come & drink the water you want" "My dog and horse are also thirsty." "I am sorry but animals are not allowed here" said the guard. The man was deeply disappointed but was not prepared to drink alone so he thanked the guard and moved on. Exhausted after more trudging uphill they reached an old gateway that opened on to dirt road flank by trees. "Good morning" said the traveler, the other nodded. "We are thirsty- me, my horse & dog." "There is spring over those rocks; you all can drink all you want." The man, horse & dog quacked their thirst. The traveler returned & thanked the man. "Come back when you want." "By the way what is this place called?" "Heaven" said the man. "Heaven? But the guard at the marble gate told that was heaven. "That is not- that is hell" The traveler said," you should not allow others to take your range in vain. Falls information leads to all kinds of confusion. "On the contrary, they do us a great favor, because the one who stay there are those who have proved themselves capable of abandoning their dearest friends." From: “The Devil and Miss. Prym" By Paulo Coelho

From: Preeti Deo

1) Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. -Unknown 2) The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost 3) Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity. - Albert Einstein 4) Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. -Mark Twain 5) Reach for the moon; even if you miss, you will land among the stars.--Unknown 6) Mistakes live in the neighborhood of truth and therefore delude us. -Ravindranath Tagore 7) Be not afraid of greatness; some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them. -William Shakespeare 8) We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. -Oscar Wilde 9) You are unique, just like everyone else. -Unknown 10) To err is human; to pass air is also human. -Unknown

From: Prathamesh Limaye

By - Dr. Ulka Joshi - Nagarkar

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a Rupee 500 note.

In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this Rupee 500 note?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the note up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. "My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth Rupee 500/-. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special. Don't ever forget it! Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams. " VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF ITS VALUE IS VALUED " Internet Forward

From: Anand Wadadekar

By – Vidisha Joshi

Reiki: A Quest (A compilation of Answers to Questions asked by Reiki Seekers…) Last few months, I was answering many questions of different seekers of Reiki in some websites. I found that the seekers were really benefited by those answers. I am releasing these answers to all for the benefit of masses: 1) Velu asked about raise of kundalini: “I am third-degree attuned , I heal my root charka every day for 20 min will it be sudden raise of kundalini, problem is that I don’t have guru to guide me.” Ans: First of all, let me explain you what is Kundalini! It is the power coiled at the root chakra and can travel thro' all the chakras till crown when all the chakras are aligned. I can give you a workable similie for this: It is like a wire of any electronic instrument that is coiled somewhere within the instrument & covered with a cover, but can be opened and connected to the electric supply as and when needed. Almost like this example, the energy that has a potential to link with the universal life force, i.e. the Kundalini, can come up to the crown chakra that is the connecting area with the universal life force and get connected with the universal consciousness. This provides the capacity to have clairvoyance and clairaudience. Also, this gives a well balanced mindset to a person. Of course, different people give different explanations of Kundalini, but this one is the one that I got out of personal experience after Kundalini awakening sometime in the year 1994, and many of my colleague Reiki Grand Masters who experienced Kundalini awakening too feel that this is the thing! You can certainly read the other explanations too! But always remember one thing, the explanation based on theory and practical are different.

Contd…

2) Subharthee asked: Is there any way through Reiki to open any chakras in our body? Actually I can feel my sadhistan and muladhar chakras are blocked. I am trying for around 2 months to activate those but still there is very little response. I can feel the vibration of other chakras but am unable to feel for those two. Any suggestions? Just for curiosity - if Reiki can help to open the chakra of a Reiki channel, is it possible to activate someone else's chakra through Reiki? Ans: How many levels of Reiki have you done? If you are a Reiki master, these chakras will automatically be open! As you are attuned into Reiki, the path of universal life force that goes thro' chakras is cleared and the energy flows freely! If you feel vibrations in other chakras but not in these two, you need to give Reiki to them for longer time ort get attuned to higher level of Reiki! Of course for that you need to talk to your own Reiki teacher! I will suggest that U work on the 5th level of Hara, 6th level of foot soles & 5th level of ears & third eye for 2 days & see the results! 3) Minza asked: Can we use Reiki in wrong way? If we want something in negative for some one does Reiki work in this ? If it does how we do this? My Sis's father in law is attached with my aunty and his wife is so worried from all of this. In this case she treated not well with my sis now the matter is that, I want that he never go to my aunt's home and never support them and he love with his own wife and children and also love with my sis. Please tell what I do in this case. Ans: Reiki Helps & never Harms! Please note, Reiki is the energy that produces Harmony. So it cannot be used in wrong way as harming = disturbing the harmony & it is not the function of Reiki. I understand your concern in this matter! It is a genuine concern. Here is what you can do in this matter: Give Reiki to the relationship of your Sis's Father in law & his wife. Wish that it grows harmonious. Work on the Hara of your sis's mother in law, work on the relationship of your sis & her mother in law to make it harmonious! Also work on the relation of your sis's father in law & yr aunty to remove all the improper factors and attractions in their relation. Here, Reiki is not negative, This is just like giving Reiki to an infected area to remove infection! Visualize a perfect relation of all the family members of your sis with each other and give Reiki to the image that you mentally create. Do all this for about 3 days and report the change that you notice. Then I will guide you about further line of action!

The readers can ask their questions on Reiki and its healing power and I will be happy to answer them here in further issues of Nirman

By- Dr. Rekha Kale

PERSONALITY READING ACCORDING TO YOUR ‘KUA NUMBER’ In order to know your ‘KUA number’, calculate all the four digits of your year of birth, subtract it from 11. This is your ‘kua’ number. (There is also another way to calculate followed by some Feng Shui masters, where we take the last two digits and subtract it from 10, but this may not work for the year 2000 inwards, as the total of the first two digits changes from one to two.) This can help you know your personality, the lucky numbers for you, the lucky directions for you, and the number of people that can get along with you best. Let us see the reading of Number 1: The person of no. 1 is career oriented. He is good in education and public relation. He earns with the help of his fame. He becomes creative with good relations. He gets grounded only with fame. He will be working on self growth and inner development in order to earn his living. He can be successful in landed property and the real estate related businesses. The number 1 person can get his career opportunities from the people having number six and from north direction. He can also get the business and career opportunities from the people with number 4 and from his south direction. He can also get financial success with the help of number seven people and from southwest one direction. He can get status from east and from people that have number three. He can get along in the best possible way with the number six and seven people. The number five people can help him get good name and fame.

By - Dr. Rekha Kale

"Some Laws Newton Forget to Discover". Law of Queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire. Bath Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will! Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Theatre Rule: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Internet Forward

From: Aniket Vaidya

By - Eknath Marathe

From: Abhishek Deo

Rajnikant's Trigonometry n Physics

Killing English …… Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette...? “

A manager started like this "Hi, I am Madhu, married with two kids”. ************

***************

"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board

Class teacher once said : “Pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!” *************** Once Hindi teacher said....“I'm going out of the world to America..“ *************** "DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.” *************** Don’t laugh at the back benches... otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

************ “Will u hang that calendar or else I'll hang myself” ************ Librarian scolded, “If you will talk again, I will kneel down outside.” ************ Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father ************

*************** It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said “ why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)”. **************** Teacher in a furious mood... Write down your name and father of your name!! **************** “Shhh... quiet... the principal around college“ ****************

is

revolving

“Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?” ************ Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code.. "I understand. You understand. Computer how understand?? ************* Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class.. "Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

From: Anand Wadadekar

10 most stupid questions' people usually ask in obvious situations 1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends.. Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?' >Answer:- Don’t u know, I sell tickets in black over here.. 2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet.... Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt? >Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again. 3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask... Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people. >Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you? 4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter... Stupid Question:- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good?? >Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it. 5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big !! >Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself. 6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask... Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good? >Answer:- No, he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout...it's just the money. 7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call... Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping? >Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron !! 8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair... Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut? >Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding...... 9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth... Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts? >Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed. 10.. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks... Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke ? >Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ............ it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames

Internet Forward

From - Radhika Shendye

From: Anand Wadadekar

So, how was this Second Issue of the e-Magazine? Satisfied? Unsatisfied? Happy? Disappointed? This second issue received many contributions. I have tried my best to make it an enjoyable reading experience for you. I appreciate & thank the contributors for their prompt response to my appeal to send in some material! I hope the presentation style gave you a pleasant reading experience! Let’s make this magazine an integral part of our internet life (virtual life)… Please do forward this e-Magazine in your KCB contacts (preferably), so that this helps in spreading a word about the existence of this initiative, of which we all are a part of! I hope to gather more email IDs as part of the subscription to this magazine in the days to come and let’s have an extended reach of this magazine in October. Feel free to tell me about this initiative, your suggestions, feedback and how & in what way you can contribute to make the magazine a success every subsequent issue. Thank you for your appreciation & wishes!

- Chief Editor

Disclaimers The launch of this monthly e-Magazine (being called as “Nirmam”, Kokanastha Chitpavan Brahmin monthly e-Magazine) is a private initiative and is not in anyway currently associated or related to the official ‘Chitpavan Sangh’. This e-Magazine does not invite monetary subscriptions whatsoever and is delivered free of cost to people who have given their assent specifically or through reference to receive this publication. These will be termed as ‘Subscribers to the e-magazine’. This e-magazine is just a self initiative taken by the Editor complimented with the collective effort & support of its readers & contributors. This e-magazine is a platform provided for information & knowledge sharing. Any decisions (monetary or otherwise) taken relying upon the advices or guidance given by the Panelists through this forum will be sole responsibility of the decision maker and not of the Panelists or Editors. Circulation of this e-magazine should be primarily and preferably restricted to Kokanastha Chitpavan Brahmins or any other Marathi speaking Brahmins class only. No responsibility or claims or litigations shall be entertained by the Editors at any cost. Violation of any Copyright under law shall be the sole responsibility of the contributor and not of the Editors. The views expressed here are solely those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of any group or organization that he or she may or is affiliated unless clearly stated or the Editors. The Editor (s) reserves the right to accept, reject, edit the full or part of the contributions received as may deem fit.