Ninjalistics Official Reprimand

Official Reprimand Attention, _________________________________________________________________________! This form serves as notice of your official reprimand.

Issuer c Boss c Supervisor c Supervisor’s boss c Project Manager c Project Lead c Senior team member c Estranged office romantic partner c Sworn enemy c Arch-nemesis c Human Resources director

Nature of error c THOUGHT c WORD

Consequence(s) For [indicate duration] ___________     

business days, work weeks, work years, ever, ever, even in subsequent jobs at other companies,

the following office privilege(s) is/are denied you: c Reserved parking space c Use of the photocopier, fax, or shredder for personal documents c Use of the photocopier, fax, or shredder for any part of your person

You shall conform to the following standard(s) of behavior: c Total silence c Perfect punctuality at meetings c Absolute adherence to schedules c Sincere, non-ironic enthusiasm c Loud proclamations of your offense upon greeting fellow workers, visitors, and strangers c Unquestioning obedience c Spineless subservience c Truckling to your superiors’ every fleeting whim

c Use of the internet for personal reasons

This reprimand should make you feel [check all that apply]:

c Use of the coffee machine for personal reasons

c Ashamed

 Confused  Debased

c Disobedient/threatening behavior

c Use of your own coffee mug for personal reasons

c Guilty c Grumpy

 Paranoid

c Lackluster morale

c Permission to speak to co-workers

c Sneezy

 Doomed

c Utter incompetence

c Obligation of co-workers to care when you speak to them

c Somewhat nauseated

c DEED c Poor scheduling/punctuality c Poor personal hygiene c Substandard performance

c Pyromania c Lack of regard for safety c Lack of regard for my safety c Theft of office equipment c Theft of stationery c Theft of my coffee mug c Overflowing e-mail inbox

c Cigarette breaks

c Willing to amend your ways c Willing to drop all resistance to authority

c Bathroom breaks c Insulin breaks c Natural light

c Fired with a new determination to improve yourself

c Oxygen

c Fired

c Posting insulting comic or form

Repentance and reform

c Sexual harassment

To avoid future reprimands of this kind, you should:

c Not reciprocating my interest c Sleeping in a meeting c Arguing against me in a meeting c Attempting murder in a meeting c Humming c Other [specify]: ______________________________ ______________________________

_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

Have a(n)  nice

 okay

 unpleasant

 penitent

 very long

day.

Copyright ©2008 Ninjalistics. Written by Gareth Hanrahan. Enduring harsh penance? Cheer up by completing the many helpful forms at www.ninjalistics.com