Ninja Request For Transfer

Request for Transfer Complete all sections and present to your supervisor. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.

1. Applicant Name ____________________________________________________ Supervisor ________________________________________________ Current Assignment ________________________________________

Transfer requested ro:

c   Administrative c   Finance c   Human Resources c   Information Management c   Operations c   Sales c   Maintenance c   Other [specify]_______________________________________ c   Anywhere but here

Please outline your current duties: ____________________________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________

2. Reasons for transfer What are your reasons for requesting a transfer? c   Want a fresh challenge c   Hatred of co-worker c   Co-worker: ____Hatred ____Unrequited love c   Boss: ____Hatred ____Unrequited love c   Knowledge of impending budget cuts or calamitous failure of project, much as rats are aware of imminent earthquakes c   Minesweeper high score unbeatable on current workstation c   Other (please specify) _______________________________

Check any of the following that describe your current duties. In each applicable case, also check applicable sub-categories.    Extremely time-consuming    12-hour day   16-hour day     24-hour day  c  time has lost all meaning

   Stressful Have you suffered from c   migraines?  c   chest pains?  c   unexplained rages? c   obsessive interest in sounds from adjacent cubicles?

   Boring Have you  c   hallucinated?  c   dreamed of killing coworkers?  c   heard voices?  c   believed co-workers are obsessively interested in sounds from your cubicle?

   Hazardous to health    Strange rash  c   Strange growths  c   Sneezing a lot  c   Hurts all the time

   Physically impossible If checked, please explain how you accomplished the tasks: ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________

   Against your personal religion, philosophy, or cultural beliefs If checked, please explain how you ever got hired here in the first place: ______________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________

   Illegal in this state or country c   Have you contacted the police or other authorities? c   Are they on the way right now? c   Are you wearing a wire? Are you?

3. New assignment What skills or traits could you bring to a new assignment? Circle the most appropriate qualifier in each case. c   Enthusiasm (Irrepressible/Forced/Irritating/Short-lived) c   Unquestioning devotion (Dog-like/Blind/Desperate/Drank the Kool-Aid) c   Fresh new ideas (Ludicrous/Unplanned/Manipulative/ Buzzwordy) c   Competence (Non-existent/Cut-throat/Ambitious/Lying) c   Fresh perspective (Oblique/Deranged/Through a sniper scope) c   Martial prowess (Kick Butt/Take Names/Chew Bubblegum) c   Morality (None/Still None/Less than None/Twisted) c   Other (please specify)

What are you looking for in a new assignment? c   Long walks on the beach c   Less work c   More money c   Less work and more money c   Closer parking space c   Less sexual harassment c   Hotter co-workers c   Less-attentive supervisor c   Graphics card that can run World of Warcraft c   Fewer blood feuds / Less blood loss c   Not having to duck every five minutes c   Disability insurance, because I’m going to need it c   Bigger corporate bureaucracy to shield me from the harsh light of day c   Nothing; all is hopeless and dark, an endless maze of cubicles, all alike

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