Mirrors - Collectio Integer Ad Petrus

MIRRORS A SELECTION OF POEMS BY

PETER A. MURRAY

FOREWORD

These poems were written between 1981 and the present. They look at the search that every person goes through in life. A search which, whatever interactions take place between the searcher and others, is carried out by each person in the solitude of their own existence. At times the only sanctuary is found in one’s own mind, with thoughts amid hopes growing like leaves on a tree, soaring in times of joy, gliding un-powered on currents of life, with beauty, finding solace in the evening of life; and the only true reflection is in the mirror of the soul.

Peter A. Murray

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

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in the beginning … in the beginning i created the word and it was good or was it in the beginning i created man after some thought and i created woman after more thought but tho’ they may pass away words never die until it

is finished and so once again in the beginning i created the word and it is good the genesis of all the thoughts the love the word

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and i stood as i spoke to the man he told me of his travels he said i watched as i stood on the mountain top and from there saw the world as it really was

like the seas of love on the hearts of men and i stood on the meadow and saw the grass which was life and i stood and said thank god i am alive

and i stood in the valley and looked up at the roof of our hopes and I stood at the seashore and saw sea washing on sand

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alone

alone but not for long i search for myself in your depths reaching for what i do not know searching alone i find what...? you...? no...! not you but me in your depths i find me in your eyes i see me why? because i am still alone ...for how long?

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i who am alone i i who am

who alone

searching to

am alone

find what? myself tears? you? sorrow? life? joy? love? hate? no none i who am alone searching to find what? hope? solitude? peace? aloneness? faith? yes no none

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searching alone to find aloneness

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mirrors words mean whatever they want but feelings have only one meaning so why do we use words mean whatever you want but feelings have only one meaning so why do we use words mean whatever we want but feelings have only one meaning so why do we use words

mean whatever feelings mean if words are said with feeling so why do we use words because words are the expression of feelings and feelings are the mirror of the soul so why do we use mirrors to see ourselves

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in this season

in this season i ask for life in searching for answers beyond the pale of powers drawn from carib idols and francophone names in this season i ask for love in finding only questions inside the pattern of glyphs hewn from vulcan's rocks and anglosaxon dreams in this season i ask for hope in making fiery patterns upon the sky broken dreams from gaea's earth and afro-carib being in this season i ask for faith in making revived nations under the sky's national congress from afrika's land a new day's dawn

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the light and the wave

you asked for the light and I smiled you trembled and I held you i tried to tell you keep cool and mild imprisoned, I tried to free you heart pounding like crashing waves a sea of feeling you said you accepted all that I had and gave no fear, written in bright red retarded by darkness, clouded vision waiting for ebb, of tranquil waters fear of drowning, the wrong emotion i’ll try to help you in all quarters but when it all comes around and the crashing of the waves is heard don’t let me see you frown love is the appropriate word and when you again need light i’ll help you all that I can forget what’s wrong or what’s right together we will \make a stand hoping, believing in destiny relieved, filled with excitement mind, in turmoil and meeting call me, when you are in torment yes, walk, searching for the light i’ll help put the package together i ask, is it really right can it ever last forever

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no despair

you are not to despair even when I’m not around remember i’ll always be there and when dark clouds appear look back at our time together and live life without fear even when you don’t see me near even when I’m far away just think of all we had to share listen closely and make sure you hear when darkness clouds your life think of me and the light will be there

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yellow sand

beaches yellow sand rock coralline smiles bright brown to white tanned in parts moving from white to brown beaches yellow sand rock coralline smiles night dark on white freckled in parts moving from white to dark

beaches yellow sand rock coralline smiles every beach has rocks below waters surface coralline at times volcanic but still beaches yellow sand and smiles bright

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sanctuary

lapping water green leaves scarlet ibis sanctuary soaring gliding scarlet ibis sanctuary beauty grace scarlet ibis sanctuary eventide solace scarlet ibis sanctuary lapping water gliding beauty solace scarlet ibis sanctuary

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silently wondering

silently wondering did you refer to me or was it just my own wish to be dear to you or was it just my own cries of pain for me but whatever it is and where ever you are you have me as your friend or anything you want me to be silently wondering

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calling out

morning sounds awakening calling out to the day like cymbals to the sky crowing maleness awakening calling out to the day like drums to the sea four-day morning awakening calling out to the day like sun to the night daytime sunbeams awakening calling out to the day like babes to the world

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fences and foils for olivia

fences built around us walls to keep fear out keeping the past behind us full of judgement and doubt games that need a foil time to forget abuse requiring effort and toil a heart suffers misuse saying touché and en garde playing the game of fear change of heart is hard believe someone does care spirits of deep mauve surround mountains of blue friendship's a treasure trove life is approached anew

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is that all

spontaneity free energy chemistry biology is that all it ever is? is it just another name for age old reactions? liking admiring empathasing feeling is that all all it ever is? is it just another name for age old emotions

do you really think so? is that all all it ever is? Just another name for age old thoughts? what ever you believe what ever you think it is all all these it is more the sum greater than the parts there is another name for it

lusting needing using having is that all all it ever is? Is it Just another name for age old vices?

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then what then what are we to look for in life if it is to be as we want then what are we to search for in life if we are to see what we want then what are we to reach for in life if we are to gain what we want then what are we to die for in life if we are to live as we want then what is it all about looking searching hoping reaching dying after it is all over then what

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... after time

finding treasures after time in places of wonder full of past longings never attained until present seeking pleasures after time in places of hope; full of future dreams to be attained from present.

keeping measures after time in places of love; full of present wishes now attained from here.

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here i am

here i am thinking of you wishing you were here again with me tonight your arms your smile your look of wonder where is it tonight at some school of farm of age old name and significance and here i am thinking of you and wishing you were here again with me tonight

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no need

no need for words either first or last no wish for fights time for that is past no need for reasons whether good or bad no time to argue hearts do not go mad no need for mistrust it is never our due no doubt and no fear between me and you no need for tears it is not the end no sorrow or pain love will cause a mend

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in my skin

what do you really want from me? is it really me you look for or is it just a memory of him? do you give yourself to me or to him in my skin? what do you see in me? is it really me you find or is it a part of him? do you cry for me or for him in my skin? why do you stay with me? is it really me you see or is it the vision of him? do you laugh with me or with him in my skin?

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the search

we search together for love and end up losing love is all around but the search puts it further away we search together for hope and end up losing hope is all around but the search puts it further away we search together and the search leads only to loss but still we search together

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miles ... in quest

miles overland in quest a search for friendship a flight from aloneness miles oversea in quest to look for comfort to run from aloneness miles overair in quest to create a system to break from aloneness miles overspace in quest a journey to seek a trip to find aloneness

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rain the prince of rock put it well no sorrow only laughter in the rain green blue red purple rain to wash our fears of friendship no scheme no end only laughter in the rain yellow orange red purple rain to clean our hopes for guidance no orange no reaching only living in the rain blue yellow red purple rain cleaning washing purifying shades of colour bright yet sorrowful plaintive cries of strings crying in the red purple rain

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that in time

that in time hope springs eternal in life and my mind and soul whatever we dream is still left here longingly in my soul and my mind past is gone eternity now through it all even when reaching forward mystic words until the sun running free raging passion and consumed yearning

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in solitude

in solitude i sit, peace and patience in the shadow of my mind away from the summit, filled with a sense that life has been kind as time would have it, heart heavy and dense paths that twist and wind in solitude i sit doubt fled and hence feelings tie and bind

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Wondering I sit and I wonder if loving is wrong if caring is constrained how can I be i sit and wonder if help is rejected if concern is resisted how can I be I sit and wonder if support is undermined if understanding is opposed how can I be I sit and wonder if being there is ignored if trying is condemned how can I be I sit and ponder and decide that no matter love remains always

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Ebb and flow ... in cycles Moods like the ocean tide ebb and flow a matter of pride and prejudice may grow in cycles of luna joy as the primary ebb and flow caring made wary and love told no in cycles of luna sorrow on the day ebb and flow nothing more to say being asked to go in cycles of luna steadfast and strong ebb and flow be it right or wrong do not say so in cycles of luna anger in the night ebb and flow middle fortnight resolution slow in cycles of luna

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notes to solitude for solitahe and jesse

the menage of your life searching for the shaman fleur had no answer to water your dry season the maestro's piano playing your swan song of peacocks and passion for auld lang syne bojesse bathed in light of luna's august glow afterwards to be captured in vases on display questing miles oversea millenium dreams afar silently wondering when meanings are made clear conscience's voice paternal ashen earth remembered offerings unreflected at dusk in some abandoned garden searching for aloneness sonny's gift of warwick looking for the answers prodigal comes home

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... like a river time like a river flows happiness in the balance ever searching for love like a lost soul maybe never to find a love like that lost to be dreaming hoping for the future even when hope seems lost looking forward making the best of it and never looking back the dear one runs harping on the negative endurance waning limited to the past making comparisons and being wrong when will love win in this season of hope limited only by pride looking in sadness intensity of memories anticipating the worst mostly in error seeing one as the other the love that is lost hopes shattered ever to be remembered lost for all time made weak with pain a love like no other

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put it all together … forty two (a prose poem)

i lie and try to put it all together, the feeling and the insights, are we just like the sand and the foam, or are we just footprints in the sand, intertidally to be washed away by a sea of emotion, a sign of something passing by wiped out by something greater than we, and where does it begin, where does it end, waves, rocks, creating, coralline, questing, volcanic, temporary, awakening, permanent, for a time, for ever. is the end just a beginning, and the beginning an end, are we hens or eggs, is ove first or last, prose or poetry, sighted or blind, alive or dead. what can we do, do we keep it from falling apart. forty-two, no question only answers, what are we talking about, in time, love or life, you or me. i lie and try to put it all together, can it be held together, the shell of a broken egg, where are all the men to put it together again, kings and princes, francophone and anglosaxon, freedmen and surfs, roosters and hens, black and white, ying and yang, heads, tails, up, down, are we always to go placidly, in noise, haste, peace, silence, dullness, ignorance. what story is told, keep peace with your soul, to walk on or to maintain. life, universe, everything, solid state depression, androids, paranoids, guilty, innocent, judgement, truth, after two thousand cycles no answer, still, no question either. i lie and try to put it all together, after time, broken eggs, feelings, insights, ying, coralline, silence, yang, volcanic, haste, piece, dull permanent, forever, life, love. finally it comes together, all and none, question no, answer yes, two, love, forty-two

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Wither OECS Fisheries

11,000 fishers, 3,690 vessels Leewards go demersal; Windwards pelagics sell Increased pressure for reduction; fishing effort uncontrolled, arrest capitalisation management arrangement needed; co-operation with or membership regional organisations strengthened, EDADU asked to explore our products to expand potential marketing elsewhere Health conditions for fishery products identify critical points establish monitoring and checks; take samples to analyse keep records of condition approval for European exportise need to build capability, enable enterprise approach; for development of industry increase local investment more public funding for training of fishermen fisheries has potential as tool in diversification, if we improve the legal; new ideas brought to bear on sectoral development and resources we share

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Just to … Just to have someone who would inquire; Maybe to ask me what is the matter. Someone who would have the time for me; Maybe only half as much as on the phone daily. To say “Hello, and how was your day dear”; My ups and downs to be there to share. It would be nice if I would be first, And not left alone until my tears burst. Just to be with one who would aspire To be caring and show concern when I tire. Someone who would bake the time to see That a lover and friend is all the need to be. When things are rough, to help deal with my fear; From time to time to show that they really care. Only loving and caring is for what I thirst; To say “it’s O.K. Baby, things could be worse”. Just to hold me up when I’m in a quagmire; To be the water that quenches my pain and my fire. Someone who would just be there for me; God, I need that, can you not see? My pain and my sorrow, I wish you would hear; It is because I miss you that I shed a tear. What can I do when my heart needs to be nursed? Who can I turn to if I can’t turn to you first?

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42 revisited

the date of ultimate answers arrives ensconced in pain of ultimate loss twenty twenty three forever lost to heat of ultimate fear joys anticipated but not to be found in one to ultimate added still amiable it is to be even for that the ultimate doubt the date of ultimate answers ends ensconced in pain of ultimate loss

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