Memior Profile
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Choosing Joy
nearby park as a dialed a number I wasn’t sure would answer. My best friend By: Breanne Braithwaite answered the phone sounding very happy but the tone of her voice I have always been had commanded me to stay immediately changed the known to be a girl with a happy out and “spend time with the moment she heard my stifled countenance. No one has ever family”. Their chatter became crying. I dropped everything questioned whether or not if I so annoying that I mumbled on her like a bomb, she tried have any mental illnesses. Let under my breath how much I her best to comfort me and me tell you now that sometimes hated my family, my mother gave the best advice a the people who smile the most caught my remark and sixteen year old girl could are hurting the worst. Last year started to yell at me not only give but I felt just as terrible I was caught in a slump of because of that remark but as I had minutes before. We constantly not feeling good because of everything leading exchanged I love you’s and enough and always wanting to up to that moment. Reading she told me to call her if I isolate myself from others, this into the words she was saying needed anything, I thought caused me to have broken I felt so much hatred and I did she didn’t really mean it and relationships with my family not back down, I started that people just say those and friends. One night in yelling at my mother… what a things to be polite and to try particular it got so bad that mistake. Words like “I don’t and make the other person the meaning of my life became want to live here” and “ok just feel better. I sat down on a very questionable. I was out on leave” were exchanged at very park bench crying my heart my kitchen table working on high volumes. I stood up out not knowing what to do, I some homework, my dad and quickly and ran out of my felt as though I didn't even little brother were in the family house, not thinking to grab know myself and what I room talking about something I anything by my phone. My wanted or who I wanted to mind was muddled as I had no interest in. I wanted to be. I cried out to a God I did started to cry, I knew not go back into my room to work not know if I believed in yet where to go or who to turn to. to help me in anyway on homework but my mother I started my path down to a
Finding the light Here I am with girls that truly love me for who I am. This was taken a year after suicide hotline was called. Happy and depression free. possible. I was so alone, or at least that is how I felt. I thought back on all the assemblies and powerpoints about what to do when thoughts of suicide invade your mind. Out of options I turned to suicide hotline, I began thinking of how dumb I was that I had to turn to someone I didn’t even know because I felt as though I had
no one. A nice lady answered almost immediately, she asked how I was doing which in my mind is ironic because if I were doing well I wouldn’t be calling. I spilled everything that was on my mind and she kept asking questions when I expected advice. I told her how alone I felt and how the people most important to me had just shut me out. I told her how I wanted nothing else in the world than to belong and have real friends that cared about me. She in turn asked me what I was doing to fix my issues, who was I turning to that I trusted, and what in my life was causing me to feel the way I was feeling. Realization dawned on me. I was causing myself to feel depressed and angry, no one can force me to feel a certain way.It was humbling to see how selfish I was being, I needed to change. I thanked the nice lady for listening and in turn
she told me to call whenever I needed an ear. After ending the phone call I felt much better and a desire to be someone what I wasn’t currently being. The first steps I needed to take were apologies to my mother, she had been the victim of my tantrums for my whole life.Slowly getting up from the bench I made my first steps towards my new life, they were some of the hardest steps I have ever taken. I walked into my house feeling more like a stranger than I had anywhere ever before, I walked over to my mother who was sitting in a chair around my table. I looked her in the eye and apologized for everything I had said and that in reality I had such an amazing family that cares for me and wants the best for me. Almost immediately after those words spilled out of my mouth, she got up and hugged me so tightly but so sweetly I felt nothing but love. She told me she loved me and I knew that the changes I wanted to make were not going to be in vain.
From that day forward I have taken time to serve those around me rather than focusing on myself all the time. Happiness is a choice. You can’t just decide to be happy and boom it’ll happen, changes have to be made in the way you treat people and how your life is being lived. I am so happy everyday but it is a choice I consciously have to make, I don’t expect to gain happiness from other people but from myself. Choose to act rather than sitting around for something to happen. Choose joy.
nearby park as a dialed a number I wasn’t sure would answer. My best friend By: Breanne Braithwaite answered the phone sounding very happy but the tone of her voice I have always been had commanded me to stay immediately changed the known to be a girl with a happy out and “spend time with the moment she heard my stifled countenance. No one has ever family”. Their chatter became crying. I dropped everything questioned whether or not if I so annoying that I mumbled on her like a bomb, she tried have any mental illnesses. Let under my breath how much I her best to comfort me and me tell you now that sometimes hated my family, my mother gave the best advice a the people who smile the most caught my remark and sixteen year old girl could are hurting the worst. Last year started to yell at me not only give but I felt just as terrible I was caught in a slump of because of that remark but as I had minutes before. We constantly not feeling good because of everything leading exchanged I love you’s and enough and always wanting to up to that moment. Reading she told me to call her if I isolate myself from others, this into the words she was saying needed anything, I thought caused me to have broken I felt so much hatred and I did she didn’t really mean it and relationships with my family not back down, I started that people just say those and friends. One night in yelling at my mother… what a things to be polite and to try particular it got so bad that mistake. Words like “I don’t and make the other person the meaning of my life became want to live here” and “ok just feel better. I sat down on a very questionable. I was out on leave” were exchanged at very park bench crying my heart my kitchen table working on high volumes. I stood up out not knowing what to do, I some homework, my dad and quickly and ran out of my felt as though I didn't even little brother were in the family house, not thinking to grab know myself and what I room talking about something I anything by my phone. My wanted or who I wanted to mind was muddled as I had no interest in. I wanted to be. I cried out to a God I did started to cry, I knew not go back into my room to work not know if I believed in yet where to go or who to turn to. to help me in anyway on homework but my mother I started my path down to a
Finding the light Here I am with girls that truly love me for who I am. This was taken a year after suicide hotline was called. Happy and depression free. possible. I was so alone, or at least that is how I felt. I thought back on all the assemblies and powerpoints about what to do when thoughts of suicide invade your mind. Out of options I turned to suicide hotline, I began thinking of how dumb I was that I had to turn to someone I didn’t even know because I felt as though I had
no one. A nice lady answered almost immediately, she asked how I was doing which in my mind is ironic because if I were doing well I wouldn’t be calling. I spilled everything that was on my mind and she kept asking questions when I expected advice. I told her how alone I felt and how the people most important to me had just shut me out. I told her how I wanted nothing else in the world than to belong and have real friends that cared about me. She in turn asked me what I was doing to fix my issues, who was I turning to that I trusted, and what in my life was causing me to feel the way I was feeling. Realization dawned on me. I was causing myself to feel depressed and angry, no one can force me to feel a certain way.It was humbling to see how selfish I was being, I needed to change. I thanked the nice lady for listening and in turn
she told me to call whenever I needed an ear. After ending the phone call I felt much better and a desire to be someone what I wasn’t currently being. The first steps I needed to take were apologies to my mother, she had been the victim of my tantrums for my whole life.Slowly getting up from the bench I made my first steps towards my new life, they were some of the hardest steps I have ever taken. I walked into my house feeling more like a stranger than I had anywhere ever before, I walked over to my mother who was sitting in a chair around my table. I looked her in the eye and apologized for everything I had said and that in reality I had such an amazing family that cares for me and wants the best for me. Almost immediately after those words spilled out of my mouth, she got up and hugged me so tightly but so sweetly I felt nothing but love. She told me she loved me and I knew that the changes I wanted to make were not going to be in vain.
From that day forward I have taken time to serve those around me rather than focusing on myself all the time. Happiness is a choice. You can’t just decide to be happy and boom it’ll happen, changes have to be made in the way you treat people and how your life is being lived. I am so happy everyday but it is a choice I consciously have to make, I don’t expect to gain happiness from other people but from myself. Choose to act rather than sitting around for something to happen. Choose joy.
