Issue 8

Who will be the one? Which of these 4 will feature in the January Issue with the next interview???

A Word From Our Leader It’s arrived, Christmas has finally come, Christmas dinner has been ate and the wine given out. All that’s left is to thank everyone for their contributions throughout the year, which has been an eventful one. With ourselves having the good fortune to be selected for a brand new works, and others sadly being closed due to falling markets. I would like to wish everyone and their families a happy Christmas and New Year and we start all over again January 2nd. Just one last thing, the Auger lads have been moaning that they never get mentioned by name so to Curly, Larry and Mo… We Salute You.

Interview With Mick Brayford I started work at Armitages in April 1962 straight from school and for the first 5 years I worked at Robin Hood under Oliver Speak. I came to Swillington when I was 20 years old in 1967 as a fitter. It was about 10 years later when I became a Foreman (circa 1977) and this was 1of6

when Steve Todd was a puny setting machine operator. In 1982 about five years later still I took the job of Engineer as well and I often worked over for no extra pay. In 1987 Phillip Ploughrite retired and I graduated to the position of Assistant Works Manager and Works Engineer a position I still enjoy today.

Swillington was a very young workforce when I started and everyone has grown up together, its been open in its current form over 40 years and a lot of people have worked here nearly that long, a lot of the older members of the work force went when we lost the night shift. It was about 1982 when the night shift ended as a result of a downturn in sales similar to what is occurring today and then in 1987 Marshalls bought Armitages out and surprisingly we carried on more or less the same for about 4 years or so. The Marshalls manipulation of the company came in three waves, first under Blair Illingworth and then later under Ian Tanser who I must add on record was a very nice man. The third wave under Mike Wignall and Keith Shimmins was really a tidying up exercise ready to sell the company which was subsequently bought by Hansons in January 2005 and since then things in general have booked up tremendously. I think one of my best memories was seeing the back of Mark Woodward, he was the type of management which is alien to making bricks and only really any good with rubber. I also think the opportunity of coming to Swillington and working in a brand new state of

the art company with new facilities was very exciting and along the way I have had many wonderful memories. Marrying my wife Mary and having one daughter who lives now in Salt Lake city, yes the Mormon state but she doesn’t practice polygamy in fact she lives on her own and I have no grand kids yet. [In the background Steve Todd pipes up that he might have some soon the way his Kirsty is going on]. One of my worst memories was one morning in October 1963 at about 8:30am when I was coming home for breakfast on my motorbike and I was just entering Thorpe on a long left hand bend when I collided with a school bus on the wrong side of the road. I hit the bus and broke 9 ribs which punctured my lung and I was left lying in the road spitting blood. I was off from work for 6 months and in them days we never received much compensation like they do today. Another bad memory was seeing a finger pop up out of the plughole in the toilets downstairs and being scared out of my wits – at least that’s what everyone now thinks as a result of one of your last reports. I would like to use this opportunity to say for the record that I have never seen a finger popping out of the washbasin plughole and nor have I ever had a dog called snuggles I am afraid these fairytales are a result of our editor here’s overactive imagination! What do I think of Mr Lardner, well have you heard the old saying that electricians are fitters with their brains kicked out – only joking. Er… He is a straight forward level headed manager, when you are in his position you have to give and take but he is firm but fair and one of the best managers I have worked for bearing in mind I worked with Keith Wilcox from 1976 to 2000 and I have only known Mick just over eighteen months. For the modern manager he is present at the works for the right amount of time bearing in mind they are really just figureheads and know little about the mechanics of making bricks. 2of6

Darren and Steve are excellent works colleges, they have both grown up with their respective jobs and they know exactly what they are doing mo of the time, they are both conscientious workers but everyone has got there faults haven’t they. If I won the lottery tomorrow I would make sure the company had someone to take my place and then immediately leave to pursue other activities such has travel which would take in golf and sightseeing particularly in New Zealand and Australia. It all depends how much I won, if it was ½ million it would be quite different from winning say 30 million. Yes I think I believe in life after death but I really have no idea what it would be like, its just something to look forward to, I like the idea of floating about but I don’t think you will eat, drink or smoke. Maybe we just sit on the proverbial clouds playing with our harps and watch huge TV sets in which you feel part of the movie you are watching. No I don’t think the giant TVs would have buttons, you would just click your fingers and it would come on and I don’t think there would be anything mechanical just gases and oxygen molecules. There would definitely be no computers they would all be in Toddy’s place down below. My nicknames, well there is Alf which that Michael Schofield gave to me from his blog at www.madmickstories.com but I don’t think I look anything like Warren Mitchell who plays the part of Alf Garnet. Les Baldwin used to call me the Hiyatollah, and talking of Baldwin’s I was known for a while as Mike Baldwin because I was the same build as the person who played him in Coronation Street. Darren says some people call me the “Little General” but refuses to elaborate who the culprits are who are calling me this, he says these anonymous people say I am small and a strong dictator and pay more than a passing resemblance to Hitler himself. I like all sorts of music, one of my favourite songs from the seventies was Ernie – The Fastest

Milkman In The West and this song was actually playing on my CD player in the car when I had my recent collision with a Milkvan that catapulted me and Mary off our booster cushions leading to superficial injuries. I like a broad range of music from pop to jazz but I am not into ballet, I like Queen, “Hammer To The Fall”, “Killer Queen” etc… I like Elvis Prestley and the Rat Pack members, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis, Peter Lawford and Dean Martin and I don’t mind even Madonna. I don’t like songs which sound like a load of nothing. My hobbies are Golf, DIY, Gardening – not vegetable gardening but flowers in pots but I don’t have a greenhouse but I do have a fishpond. I like train spotting though its not as much fun since diesel replaced steam since they all look the same now. Yes, I am happily married to Mary, we have been wed 39 years this Christmas, we initially met at Mecca in Wakefield at a dance which was the things you did back in them days. We used to dance to “Rock Around The Clock” and The Beatles tunes and one night I asked to walk her home and the rest is history as they say. I think this newsletter is a wonderful idea since it gets everything out in the open and the editor is doing a very good job but he shouldn’t add bits what people haven’t said, he should concentrate on editing not adding. Anyway I wish everyone a very merry Christmas and a happy new year because when you read this I will be in Salt Lake City with the Mormons.

Statistics Week Com Produced Sold Stock 20/11/2006 450,888 313,424 14,305,308 27/11/2006 453,504 254,136 14,498,200 04/12/2006 464,236 371,804 14,590,632 11/12/2006 457,876 301,032 14,739,712 Top 15 Selling Bricks For December 1st-15th Last mth pos Name Quantity ▲ 3 1 65 Ryedale Drag 119808 ▲ 5 2 73 Class B Hanson 110592 ▼ 1 3 73 City Multi 99840 NEW 4 65 Manch Red 60116 ▲ 5 5 65 Cream Smooth 51528

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NEW ▲ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▲ ▼ NEW NEW NEW

8 4 2 7 14 9

6 7 8 9 10 11 11 13 14 15

73 Golden Brown 65 Swaledale Drag 73 Class B Jew 65 Mixed Rejects 73 Farmhse Brwn 65 City Multi Smth 65 Ridings Rustic 73 Capital Smooth 65 Victorian Smth 73 Mixed Rejects

50304 46784 45312 33900 33024 32092 32092 23040 20792 20352

Ever Wonder?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

What We Have Learned From Geese At Swillington Next autumn when you see geese heading south for the winter... flying along in V

formation...you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way: As each bird flaps its wings, it creates uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in V formation the whole flock adds at least 71% greater flying range, than if each bird flew on its own. Us workers at Swillington we share a common direction and sense of community and we get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are travelling on the thrust of one another. When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone... and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front. Us workers at Swillington have learned to work together as a team, we will stay in formation with those who are headed the same way we are. When the head goose gets tired it rotates back in the wing and another goose flies point. It is sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs...with managers or with geese flying south, that is why over the years we have had so many managers at Swillington and why our leader likes to give Mr Brayford occasional turns at the front while he is away on the golf course Geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed. In the same way we always talk kindly of our manager and encourage his progress Finally...and this is important...when a goose gets sick or is wounded by gunshots, and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies, and only then do they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their group. When Darren was sick the other day after eating a dodgy fish both Gary and Andy rose to the challenge in the yard while Steve Todd kept phoning Darren up to make sure he was okay soon Darren was back in formation flying around the works once again

Angels (Part 2) The concluding part of my near death experience, continuing from Issue No7… I also saw from a further dimension an observation of my interactions with others from 4of6

the other persons point.. I also saw parts of the future which was hazy however I distinctly remember being told that a girl I had met but would never marry had an important role in the creation of my son who was very special. I saw all of my educational achievements so far were purely superfluous but it was the way I treated others that was important and I could see the consequence of my lack of interactions with my fellow students at York University (which I had luckily just graduated a month before). I could see how the other students saw me as weird and very anti social and they tried to avoid me where possible so that they could avoid the negative effect I had on them hence leading to a deeper feeling of depression thus increasing my isolation - an endless viscous circle that had dominated my life. I even could see the hurt on my best friend – Richards emotions when he pulled a bird called Cherelle at Rooftop Gardens, but, I had done my best to split them up by pouring a pint of lager on her head and being very rude. The tapestry of life was in front of me and I could see how my decisions now would effect the future all of my ambitions of being wealthy and having many material possessions was regarded by the being of light with has much distaste as was my lack of enthusiasm for interacting with my fellow men. I could see how my life would change and where I had once sought money and possessions I now treasured simply making other peoples lives more pleasurable at the expense of my own wellbeing. The being of light then turned to me and said via thought dynamics “Michael, What have you done with your life so far?” I replied using my mind “Why didn’t someone tell me this was what life is about?” the being replied “Somebody did nearly 2000 years ago in your linear time – me!” I suddenly found myself on the move again, this

time we didn’t bother about doors it was straight up through the hospital roof, then we flew at incredible speeds across the surface of the earth however there was no wind to slow us and just a few moments later I found myself approaching a city beside a huge expanse of water. In the city all the streets and offices were unbelievably crowded, and I could see people passing through other people like they wasn’t there. We walked into a factory and I saw assembly line workers who were putting together lawnmowers enjoying a coffee break while behind them a woman was pleading for a drag of their cigarette as through she wanted it more than anything in the world. When one of the workers clearly blind and deaf to the women behind him actually took a cigarette out of his packet and began to smoke it, the woman repeatedly snatched at it but, it was as if she was clawing at thin air. I came to the conclusion that those people must be ghosts, even though they were dead, they remained chained to the material world by the very things they had deemed most important during their lifetimes their jobs, their cigarette smoking their material possessions. Myself and the being of light moved from city to city visiting endless places he had to show to me, in one house I remember a younger man followed an older man from room to room “I am sorry dad!” he kept saying repeatedly “I did not know it would do this to my mum – I just didn’t understand!” The older man was carrying a tray filled with tea and toast into a room where a clearly unwell elderly lady was sat up in bed “I AM SORRY” the younger man cried in frustration over and over again but, clearly his agony fell on deaf ears. “Why is he so sorry?” I enquired to the being of light, referring to the younger mans pleas “He committed the ultimate selfish act” said the being touching his long beard “suicide” he continued with tears welling in the corner of his eyes “and chained to every consequence of their act of cowardice they are well and truly earthbound” he finished but I knew the answer before I asked. 5of6

My next visit was back to the night club in Wakefield called Rooftop Gardens where I had visited earlier in my disorientated state, but, without the concept of time earlier and later were meaningless it is a bit like telling someone blind from birth what is like to see. Inside the nightclub was an impossibly crowded place where I watched ghost alcoholics mingling with living drunks and whenever a drunk lapsed into a drunken stupor a desperately thirsty ghost sprang inside his body so that the two became one. The living could be distinguished from the ghosts by a faint cocoon of light around him, however when any living being became inebriated their light cocoon faded, enabling one of the many hovering ghosts to take over their body and literally possess the person. So horrific was the scene that the only words in my mind that could describe this was “hell” The mingling ghosts with their eyes so set on alcohol desperately clutching at real life beer glasses had blinded themselves to the magnificent being that accompanied me – Indeed the being told me to keep my eyes firmly on him – probably he was aware of my past record. In this world of thought far beyond space and time (Thought is a more fundamental principle than the illusion of space or time which pale into mere shadows) it can seemingly be either heaven or hell of your own making. Earthbound ghosts destroyed by hatred, lust and destructive thought patterns find that whatever they think however fleetingly or unwittingly became instantly apparent to all those who was around him and more completely than words could of expressed it and much faster than sound waves could of carried it. The thought most commonly communicated amongst earthbound spirits was usually selfish thoughts and this by its very act kept the being earthbound, the being it seemed felt only compassion for these unfortunate souls but he knew it was their will not his that kept them there. I felt like scrooge in The Christmas Carol having this wise being accompany me back to the hospital for the final time, I wanted to start my

life again a fresh when I would care far more about other people and not myself. No longer would money and possessions be my supreme objective but I would live my life with a desire to make other people happy – the old Mad Mick was truly dead and the new one ready for a reincarnation. We entered the hospital room for the final time and the image of the being and the bed before me faded – the walls that surrounded my little room at Pinderfields became solid again it was early morning and I was informed by a nurse who had come into open the curtains that it was two days since my accident. The pain was still there but somewhat dulled by the drugs I had been given, It was to be another thirteen weeks before I was released and I had many more strange experiences in there but nothing that could be compared to the one I have shared with you all.

And Finally… The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International Studies report on GLOBAL ORGANIZED CRIME; the author who introduces the story swears it's true. FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlour with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital. Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda. Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered? Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital. Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital? Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent. Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent? Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is. Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital? Agent: That's correct. And make sure you

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don't go through the front (go) to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas. Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents? Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here? Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent? Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving. Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this? Agent: I have my checkbook right here. Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents? Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked. Pizza Man: I don't think so. Click.

This Final Photo was leaked before I had chance to include it.