Issue 8
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TO PROTECT AND SERVE
A Party Boys Production
MFO 51 Toilet Paper 21 AUGUST 2008
E-4 MAFIA
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 8
www.mfotoiletpaper.blogspot.com
Crazed Gorilla Escapes From SC!
Damage Control: Recently Big Scrib found out why Kevlar and Windshields do not like each other!! Cold Inside and Hot Outside Can Create a Sudden Impact!
CAV RETENTION
Retention Program Skyrockets
The MFO deployment has done wonders for the retention of soldiers in the Squadron. Word on the street is that soldiers are begging for more time!! Soldiers trying to claim the “tax-free” bonus for re-enlisting in droves. A spokesperson for the retention office of the squadron said “REALLY?” when asked about the swell of excitement around South Camp.
Newsletter Policies for Submission:
All material is to be submitted to the publisher no later than 24 hours before printing. This medium was designed for fun only. Any descriptions of events or news presented is fake and does not reflect the views or orders of the official people running our camp. Any similarity to actual events and people is purely coincidental and shall not be interpreted as truth. We accept submissions for content from anyone on camp, preferably E-4 or below. Submissions are accepted on a first comefirst served basis and there is no guarantee of publication. All submissions become the sole property of the editorial staff. 2008 NOTE: There was some difficulty with the previous MSN Email. Please resend all articles for submission to the new email address. They will make the next issue. This news medium accepts submissions from
ALL RANKS and ALL TROOPS!!
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
21 AUGUST 2008
TOILET PAPER PERSONALS
MFO TOILET PAPER
BIG BIRD IN SINIA TO INVESTIGATE WILDLIFE!!
Are you missing back issues of the MFO TOILET PAPER for your home collection? Email the editor at [email protected] to request back issues or to be added to the home delivery email list. Don’t miss an issue!!
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 8
Action Jackson’s Action Advice Dear Jackson: The classes here on SC are really hard, how can I make them easier? - Pvt Party Dear Party, Avoiding classes is best, but remember to drop them before you have to do a presentation at the very least!! ——————————--
Favorite new cocktail of the Month: The Bloody _ _ _
My Dearest Jax: 2 shots Absolut Vodka 2 shots Blackberry Wine Top with Sprite/7-UP
Can I have a DNA Sample for the Paternity Test? - LonelyBabe15 (MySpacePage)
Dear Hungarians, Awesome Party and Singer the other night!! The food and fun were great, and the dancing was phenomenal. Bye the way, the singer was cute too!! - Music Lover HEY FACILITY GUYS, WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET THE SPORTSMAN CLUB BACK? ARE THERE ANY PICS OF WHAT IT WILL LOOK LIKE? - Interested MFO’s ALL MFO, There is still time to get away. Golf Outings, Scuba and Snorkling Trips, and Excursions into Naama Bay are awesome! Don’t get sent home without seeing the region and everything you can before lockdown!!
Dear LonelyBabe15,
Apparently the mating rituals of a rare type of octopus, found in the reef system of the coastal waters of the Sinai, are very interesting to many researchers in the US and abroad. Little did we know that a celebrity of this magnitude would be visiting our region to investigate the mysterious mating habits of such a creature. Big Bird, of Sesame Street fame, was in town recently to find and document the evidence of these creatures. While in town, Big Bird was treated to some local fare, and also enjoyed visits to some remote destinations that would afford him a chance to get wet and observe these rituals. While he could not comment on his findings, there were rumors that some octopi were even observed chasing a lonely LT down the beach near Taba. The local professionals who also maintain data on these mating habits claim that there is no cause for alarm to wary swimmers, and want our readers to know that, if approached, it will feel like a mild tickle. —- Un-named PAO Office Source
It wasn’t me, I swear it. Besides the lights were low and you said the donkey was just going to be there for a few minutes!! ——————————-A.J.: How often do you change your socks in this desert environment? - FX Nike Footwear Rep Dear NFR, I try to shoot for once a week, and twice on Sundays. Happy socks are always tough to find!!
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
21 AUGUST 2008
MFO TOILET PAPER
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 8
MFO Ranger “Bob’s” Classifieds New Army MFO Tower Sleeping System. Pillow Back Hood Optional! $ 19.95 ea
BRAND NEW FOR MFO!! OFFICER/NCO Portable Counseling Center!! Why wait for the office to fill out annoying paperwork? NO MORE!! Comes with Pre‐filled out counseling and demotion packets!! A Bargain at only $74.95 ea
COMBAT THONG Kevlar Lined and Ready For A Rough Ride! $13.69 Per 2 pk MFO ORANGE THONG High Visibility for Mobile Observation Teams $11.69 Per 2 pk
Celebrity Superstar Visits Troops Borat takes a break from a busy schedule to Attend water survival training at herb’s beach!
Find Your Inner “HERB” Poster -free OP MASTER Cooking Badge $4.50
PowerPoint Combat Badge $4.50 ea
Anti-Monkey Butt Powder - It Is “Real” Funny!
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
21 AUGUST 2008
MFO TOILET PAPER
Newest Vacation Destination Spot In Sinai Opens!!
In a joint venture with Disney the “Bedouin Paradise” theme park is opening soon outside the city limits of Sharm El Sheik. While many of the park’s rides are not even built yet, initially patrons will be treated to a millions of flys, a carpet of trash and garbage, and some of the finest, well-aged goat in the area. The sneak preview
picture shown above is just a glimpse of the posh accommodations that await visitors to this area. Each guest will be afforded the finest mattress for sleeping on the ground. Imagine the starry nights that await while hundreds of desert creatures huddle and stink up the motionless night air. Such a stench can be quite romantic.
For the adventurous spirit in all of us, some of the rides that will be offered include a half-built roller coaster, a waterless logflume, a real-life haunted tent, and a spaceship ride made from parts from the dismantled Egyptian Space Program. There will even be costumed characters named Itchy and Scratchy the Flea Ridden Camels.
Follow Posted Rules: If it stinks, WASH IT!!
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 8
Editor’s Corner
As the end approaches I can only hope that our transition with the soldiers from the “ “Buckeye” state will be seamless and accident free. Having regular contact with the people replacing us has been a real gift. As a return gesture, and as stated in the recent 7th edition of the TP, Issue 7.5 is now being created to help MFO 52 transition to this life of relaxation and fun. In that regard I am once again asking for any suggestions, no matter how small to include in the edition. Please send information VIA email, or find our editor while around South Camp to offer advice to the future USBATT team. On another note, a complete set of MFO Toilet Paper Volumes is downloadable online. Get it, Print It, and , if preserved correctly, they can become that special conversation piece on your coffee table.
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
A Party Boys Production
MFO 51 Toilet Paper 21 AUGUST 2008
E-4 MAFIA
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 8
www.mfotoiletpaper.blogspot.com
Crazed Gorilla Escapes From SC!
Damage Control: Recently Big Scrib found out why Kevlar and Windshields do not like each other!! Cold Inside and Hot Outside Can Create a Sudden Impact!
CAV RETENTION
Retention Program Skyrockets
The MFO deployment has done wonders for the retention of soldiers in the Squadron. Word on the street is that soldiers are begging for more time!! Soldiers trying to claim the “tax-free” bonus for re-enlisting in droves. A spokesperson for the retention office of the squadron said “REALLY?” when asked about the swell of excitement around South Camp.
Newsletter Policies for Submission:
All material is to be submitted to the publisher no later than 24 hours before printing. This medium was designed for fun only. Any descriptions of events or news presented is fake and does not reflect the views or orders of the official people running our camp. Any similarity to actual events and people is purely coincidental and shall not be interpreted as truth. We accept submissions for content from anyone on camp, preferably E-4 or below. Submissions are accepted on a first comefirst served basis and there is no guarantee of publication. All submissions become the sole property of the editorial staff. 2008 NOTE: There was some difficulty with the previous MSN Email. Please resend all articles for submission to the new email address. They will make the next issue. This news medium accepts submissions from
ALL RANKS and ALL TROOPS!!
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
21 AUGUST 2008
TOILET PAPER PERSONALS
MFO TOILET PAPER
BIG BIRD IN SINIA TO INVESTIGATE WILDLIFE!!
Are you missing back issues of the MFO TOILET PAPER for your home collection? Email the editor at [email protected] to request back issues or to be added to the home delivery email list. Don’t miss an issue!!
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 8
Action Jackson’s Action Advice Dear Jackson: The classes here on SC are really hard, how can I make them easier? - Pvt Party Dear Party, Avoiding classes is best, but remember to drop them before you have to do a presentation at the very least!! ——————————--
Favorite new cocktail of the Month: The Bloody _ _ _
My Dearest Jax: 2 shots Absolut Vodka 2 shots Blackberry Wine Top with Sprite/7-UP
Can I have a DNA Sample for the Paternity Test? - LonelyBabe15 (MySpacePage)
Dear Hungarians, Awesome Party and Singer the other night!! The food and fun were great, and the dancing was phenomenal. Bye the way, the singer was cute too!! - Music Lover HEY FACILITY GUYS, WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET THE SPORTSMAN CLUB BACK? ARE THERE ANY PICS OF WHAT IT WILL LOOK LIKE? - Interested MFO’s ALL MFO, There is still time to get away. Golf Outings, Scuba and Snorkling Trips, and Excursions into Naama Bay are awesome! Don’t get sent home without seeing the region and everything you can before lockdown!!
Dear LonelyBabe15,
Apparently the mating rituals of a rare type of octopus, found in the reef system of the coastal waters of the Sinai, are very interesting to many researchers in the US and abroad. Little did we know that a celebrity of this magnitude would be visiting our region to investigate the mysterious mating habits of such a creature. Big Bird, of Sesame Street fame, was in town recently to find and document the evidence of these creatures. While in town, Big Bird was treated to some local fare, and also enjoyed visits to some remote destinations that would afford him a chance to get wet and observe these rituals. While he could not comment on his findings, there were rumors that some octopi were even observed chasing a lonely LT down the beach near Taba. The local professionals who also maintain data on these mating habits claim that there is no cause for alarm to wary swimmers, and want our readers to know that, if approached, it will feel like a mild tickle. —- Un-named PAO Office Source
It wasn’t me, I swear it. Besides the lights were low and you said the donkey was just going to be there for a few minutes!! ——————————-A.J.: How often do you change your socks in this desert environment? - FX Nike Footwear Rep Dear NFR, I try to shoot for once a week, and twice on Sundays. Happy socks are always tough to find!!
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
21 AUGUST 2008
MFO TOILET PAPER
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 8
MFO Ranger “Bob’s” Classifieds New Army MFO Tower Sleeping System. Pillow Back Hood Optional! $ 19.95 ea
BRAND NEW FOR MFO!! OFFICER/NCO Portable Counseling Center!! Why wait for the office to fill out annoying paperwork? NO MORE!! Comes with Pre‐filled out counseling and demotion packets!! A Bargain at only $74.95 ea
COMBAT THONG Kevlar Lined and Ready For A Rough Ride! $13.69 Per 2 pk MFO ORANGE THONG High Visibility for Mobile Observation Teams $11.69 Per 2 pk
Celebrity Superstar Visits Troops Borat takes a break from a busy schedule to Attend water survival training at herb’s beach!
Find Your Inner “HERB” Poster -free OP MASTER Cooking Badge $4.50
PowerPoint Combat Badge $4.50 ea
Anti-Monkey Butt Powder - It Is “Real” Funny!
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
21 AUGUST 2008
MFO TOILET PAPER
Newest Vacation Destination Spot In Sinai Opens!!
In a joint venture with Disney the “Bedouin Paradise” theme park is opening soon outside the city limits of Sharm El Sheik. While many of the park’s rides are not even built yet, initially patrons will be treated to a millions of flys, a carpet of trash and garbage, and some of the finest, well-aged goat in the area. The sneak preview
picture shown above is just a glimpse of the posh accommodations that await visitors to this area. Each guest will be afforded the finest mattress for sleeping on the ground. Imagine the starry nights that await while hundreds of desert creatures huddle and stink up the motionless night air. Such a stench can be quite romantic.
For the adventurous spirit in all of us, some of the rides that will be offered include a half-built roller coaster, a waterless logflume, a real-life haunted tent, and a spaceship ride made from parts from the dismantled Egyptian Space Program. There will even be costumed characters named Itchy and Scratchy the Flea Ridden Camels.
Follow Posted Rules: If it stinks, WASH IT!!
VOLUME 1, ISSUE 8
Editor’s Corner
As the end approaches I can only hope that our transition with the soldiers from the “ “Buckeye” state will be seamless and accident free. Having regular contact with the people replacing us has been a real gift. As a return gesture, and as stated in the recent 7th edition of the TP, Issue 7.5 is now being created to help MFO 52 transition to this life of relaxation and fun. In that regard I am once again asking for any suggestions, no matter how small to include in the edition. Please send information VIA email, or find our editor while around South Camp to offer advice to the future USBATT team. On another note, a complete set of MFO Toilet Paper Volumes is downloadable online. Get it, Print It, and , if preserved correctly, they can become that special conversation piece on your coffee table.
All submissions can be made to [email protected]
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